Oscar Snubs, RHOBH, and a Barnes & Noble Bender

Summary

GOOD GUYS PODCAST
Episode: Oscar Snubs, RHOBH, and a Barnes & Noble Bender
Date: February 23, 2026
Hosts: Josh Peck & Ben Soffer
Producer: Dear Media

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Episode Overview

In this jam-packed episode, Josh and Ben explore everything from the nostalgic magic of Barnes & Noble to the drama behind Oscar nominations, before diving deep into reality TV—specifically, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and The Traitors. The guys also answer listener questions in their signature “Moron Mail” segment, tackle sticky work dilemmas, and end with their weekly “What Are You, Nuts?” gripes. The tone is candid, comedic, a little irreverent, and always conversational.

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Episode Breakdown & Key Discussions

1. The Nostalgia and Allure of Barnes & Noble

[00:36 – 04:17]

• Ben: Visits Barnes & Noble and waxes poetic about its mix of nostalgia, Starbucks integration, and buying random items like pens and board games.
  • “Barnes and Noble is a time capsule. It’s the best.” — Ben [01:33]
• Josh: Laments the loss of Borders, compares snack placement to Nordstrom Rack’s point-of-purchase, leading to a quip about why America can’t help but snack while shopping for books.
  • “It's the reason why we're big, fat, fat, fat… that someone can be buying books and be like, I'm a little famished, and rip a bunch of gummy worms down their gullet.” — Josh [01:59]
• Segues into musing about product placement and even brainstorms a novelty “condom roulette” product.

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2. Condom Etiquette, Adulting, and Stories from the Trenches

[04:17 – 09:57]

• Condom Use: Josh discusses intel from single friends: "no one's wearing condoms anymore, and that is yucky."
  • “They're not even just for not getting pregnant—they're so you don't get crabs on your cock.” — Ben [04:37]
• Storytime: Josh recalls a cringey 20s story about a girl discovering a condom wrapper in his trash.
  • “She called it out right away. She's like, 'I guess it's good you're safe.'” — Josh [07:04]
• Banter about legendary rumors, including Derek Jeter’s alleged gift baskets for hookups—ultimately debunked via Google and ChatGPT.

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3. Oscar Snubs & How Awards Really Work

[14:26 – 17:32]

• Oscar Nominations:
  • Josh brings up the snub of actor Jesse Plemons and points out that even icons like Martin Scorsese and Denzel Washington got their first/only Oscars for less-heralded works.
  • “Don't ever get mad if you don't get nominated. It'll happen over time. Way bigger, more important people have been snubbed. You’re in good company.” — Josh [15:59]
• Why Snubs Happen:
  • Ben and Josh discuss the “Kobe Effect”—sometimes an award is given more for lifetime achievement or timing.
  • “Some people are really good at [campaigning] and some people aren’t. There's two types of people that win... they either owe it to you, or you do something undeniable.” — Josh [17:04]

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4. Reality TV Rants: The Traitors & Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

[19:00 – 34:11]

• The Traitors:
  • Josh critiques reality star competition shows—removing personalities from their world exposes their mediocrity.
    • “You realize how mediocre they are. And I say that with love.” — Josh [19:29]
  • Ben calls out Michael Rapaport as the only true entertainer on the show.
    • “Michael Rapaport was pure entertainment, which is why they found him so annoying.” — Ben [21:02]
  • They discuss the proliferation of these shows, issues with casting, and clever marketing ploys like embedded QR codes.
• RHOBH Recap:
  • Ben runs through the cast, his likes/dislikes, and the big drama: newcomer Amanda Francis using the anniversary of her child’s death during a petty argument, leading to a season-long tension about insensitivity and drama etiquette.
    • “You’ve never seen somebody talk more about Chanel and Louis Vuitton. And again, read the room!” — Ben [31:06]
    • “She throws in that it’s the anniversary of her five-day-old’s death… All of a sudden, she throws that in as a rebuttal.” — Ben [33:04]

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5. Moron Mail: Listener Q&A

[34:23 – 61:03]

• Old Phones, Old Sex Tapes: [34:54 – 43:51]
  • A caller finds her husband’s sex video with an ex.
  • Ben calls looking through someone else’s phone “an extreme invasion of privacy,” but says if you’re not mad, you’ll need to handle his defensiveness if you bring it up.
  • Josh and Ben discuss jealousy and openness in relationships, emphasizing communication and knowing your partner before opening up fantasy life.
    • “It would deeply hurt me. I would move past it, but it would deeply hurt me.” — Ben [41:39]
• Tough Love vs. Soft Love: [46:28 – 52:39]
  • Listener thanks the hosts for their earlier “tough love”—she changed her life as a result.
  • Debate on when and with whom to use tough love, with Josh favoring it for real change but acknowledging not all personalities respond well.
    • “There’s nothing other than tough love… when we’re really talking about change.” — Josh [48:13]
    • “You have to know who you’re talking to… Some people can handle tough love and some people absolutely cannot.” — Ben [48:41]
• Cakes at Work, HR, and Snitching: [52:48 – 61:03]
  • Caller reports a colleague to HR for selling cakes at Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen; now she’s uncomfortable.
  • Ben: It’s “tattletale,” unnecessary if it doesn’t affect customers or misuses company resources.
  • Josh: If she’s baking on the clock or using company ingredients, that’s not okay.
  • Both agree: deal directly with the person before going to HR.
    • “It feels so tattletale… It’s bad karma.” — Ben [55:07]
• Dealing with a Gross, Smart Coworker: [57:45 – 60:08]
  • Caller can’t avoid an offensive project director.
  • Both hosts recommend raising it directly first; escalate if behavior doesn’t shift.
    • “Say hard and quick, ‘Listen, I like working with you… but it’s gotta stop.’” — Josh [59:28]

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6. What Are You, Nuts? – Weekly Gripes

[62:04 – 63:59]

• Ben: Ridicules “Sorry About My Husband” hats at Nordstrom Rack—who is buying this?
  • “What are you, nuts? Who’s buying [that hat]?” — Ben [63:04]
• Josh: Tic-tac-toe is a game no one can ever win if you pay attention—a “completely nuts game.”
  • “No one will ever win. Ever.” — Josh [63:47]

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Memorable Quotes & Banter

| Time | Quote | Speaker | |----------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|----------| | 01:33 | "Barnes and Noble is a time capsule. It’s the best.” | Ben | | 01:59 | “…someone can be buying books and be like, I'm a little famished, and rip a bunch of gummy worms down their gullet.” | Josh | | 15:59 | “Don't ever get mad if you don't get nominated. It'll happen over time...You’re in good company.”| Josh | | 19:29 | “You realize how mediocre they are. And I say that with love.” | Josh | | 21:02 | "Michael Rapaport was pure entertainment, which is why they found him so annoying." | Ben | | 31:06 | “You’ve never seen somebody talk more about Chanel and Louis Vuitton. And again, read the room!” | Ben | | 33:04 | “All of a sudden, she throws in that it’s the anniversary of her five-day-old’s death…” | Ben | | 41:39 | “It would deeply hurt me. I would move past it, but it would deeply hurt me.” | Ben | | 48:13 | "There's nothing other than tough love… when we're really talking about change." | Josh | | 55:07 | “It feels so tattletale… It’s bad karma.” | Ben | | 63:04 | “What are you, nuts? Who’s buying [that hat]?” | Ben | | 63:47 | “No one will ever win. Ever.” | Josh |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Barnes & Noble nostalgia: [00:36 – 04:17]
• Condom talk & Josh’s story: [04:17 – 09:57]
• Oscar discussion & snubs: [14:26 – 17:32]
• Reality TV (“The Traitors” & RHOBH): [19:00 – 34:11]
• Moron Mail – Old phones, tapes, relationship openness: [34:54 – 43:51]
• Moron Mail – Tough love & change: [46:28 – 52:39]
• Moron Mail – HR & baked goods dilemma: [52:48 – 61:03]
• Moron Mail – Annoying coworker: [57:45 – 60:08]
• What Are You, Nuts? hats & tic-tac-toe: [62:04 – 63:59]

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Takeaways & Highlights

• The hosts expertly blend irreverent humor and genuine insight, freely switching between playful storytelling, hot takes, and earnest advice.
• Main themes: nostalgia for real-life spaces, the realities behind recognition and awards, modern reality TV’s oddities, and candid relationship/workplace advice.
• Ben and Josh’s comfort with each other—and the occasional third voice—lets them banter and debate without losing depth or humor.
• Listener interactions (Moron Mail) range from silly to serious, always with strong opinions and practical advice.

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If you’re looking for a funny, insightful, and chaotic take on pop culture, relationships, and life’s little absurdities, this week’s Good Guys delivers.

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Transcript

[Josh]

The following podcast is a dear media production. Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the Good Guys. A mother's dream premium podcast team. Make it your weekly routine. It's a Good Guys.

[Ben]

And if you don't give us five stars.

[Josh]

What are you nuts?

[Ben]

What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys.

[Josh]

They're not the great guys. We're just the good of the good guys. Mazda. Morons. Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast, folks.

[Ben]

Yesterday, I went to the most magical place on Earth. Josh, this is not Disney World. This is Barnes and Noble. When was the last time you were in a Barnes and Noble? I'm sure recently because you have kids.

[Josh]

I'm a Barnes and Noble rewards member dog. I don't mean to fucking brag.

[Ben]

It is such a magical, magical place. Okay, you walk in first of all, them putting Starbucks in these beautiful Barnes and Nobles. What a great idea. Okay, you can go get your Frappuccino. Okay. Then peruse. You're looking at board games. Where else are you gonna find board games? You're looking at cookbooks. You're looking at autobiographies. You go upstairs to just the most wholesome, wonderful children's section ever. You're looking through, at least for Ruby. We're looking for those hard books that he could put in his mouth. What are those called? Those books? I think. Yeah, put it in there. Nothing that could rip.

[Claudia]

And I'm just, like, remembering these books that I used to read.

[Ben]

Madeline. It's a beautiful book. Corduroy. This is a beautiful book. And you're feeling nostalgic, and you walk out of there, you spent 200 bucks. You don't even know what you bought. You bought four ballpoint pens. You didn't even need one. You bought them because they're there, Josh. This is a time capsule. Barnes and Noble is a time capsule. It's the best.

[Josh]

I'm a big Barnes and Noble fan. Rip. Borders. Borders was a fun one while it was shout out, but you're right, because Barnes and Noble like Nordstrom Rack, like many of these places. And I know it's only an opportunity to make more money, but they all have a drink section and snack section while you're waiting to be checked out. And it just is the reason why we're big. Fat, fat, fat, fat. The fattest fatso country that someone can be buying books and be like, I'm a little famished, and rip a bunch of gummy worms down their gullet.

[Ben]

Yeah, no, it's. It's intentionally placed and it's genius.

[Claudia]

Point of purchase.

[Ben]

Like, like that those, they pay a lot of money to be there. Like whatever brands are there. They're paying a lot of money to be at the front of Starbucks because the front of Barnes and Noble. Because they didn't have to. Nobody had to find them. Like everything else in a Barnes and Noble, you have to go and find it. Those snacks and drinks at the end, they found you, okay? They found you. And that's just product placement that you need to pay for. Or you're just like an established brand. But it's amazing.

[Josh]

I feel like I'm sitting with Orville Redenbacher, you know, like, you know, with the colonel from kfc. This kid knows about the industries.

[Ben]

Smart. Yeah, it's amazing. We need a point of purchase product, Josh. I don't know what. Yeah, sure. I'm sure they do great At Barnes and Noble.

[Josh]

We should sell condoms where one in every four break and it becomes fun. And you.

[Ben]

Condom roulette.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah. Condom roulette.

[Ben]

That's what we call it.

[Josh]

It's a fun new party game, by

[Ben]

the way, that's essentially having sex without condoms is roulette, by the way. I'm in. Josh, I'm in. Why not make it lamb skin? Those lamb skin condoms.

[Claudia]

Great.

[Ben]

What else could you make it out of?

[Claudia]

What other kinds of snakeskin?

[Josh]

True roll ups.

[Ben]

Could you do snakeskin? Can you do a snake skin condom?

[Josh]

Yeah, snakeskin. Fruit roll up, maybe?

[Ben]

Fruit roll up would be great.

[Josh]

I don't know. I mean anything that can be a sheath. Yeah.

[Ben]

Okay. I.

[Claudia]

Interesting.

[Josh]

I'm fascinated by. And I've gotten some recon from people in my life who are still out there on these streets. And I've basically. And I don't know if you know, obviously you and Claudia have some, some friends who are single and mingling and whatnot. The recon I'm getting back is no one's wearing condoms anymore. And that is yucky.

[Ben]

Yeah, I. I don't. I'm trying to think. I don't have a lot of single friends and the single friends that I do have, I don't think that they've ever mentioned whether or not they wear condoms. I hope they are. If these girls are completely random because that is. You said yucky. It's just, it's just dangerous. Like, I don't think enough people talk about the fact that condoms are not being worn just to protect against getting pregnant. They're getting worn so that you don't get crabs on your cock. Okay. Like you don't want crabs on your cock. I certainly don't. Okay. But if you're going around being a man ho, you know, you gotta strap up.

[Josh]

You don't want your junk to look like a seafood boil.

[Ben]

Yeah, you don't want that. So I think that too much. We talk about condoms for. For protecting against pregnancy. That's not even what they're for. Like, sure they are. But it's really protecting against, you know, these diseases.

[Anonymous Caller]

Oh.

[Josh]

Can I tell you a terrible story? Not terrible in the way you're thinking.

[Ben]

You can. I will permit it. I will permit it.

[Josh]

This just looks a little bad on me. But we all have a period in our life. I was 23 years old, by the way.

[Ben]

You already have a pass. Too young. Nobody's judging you.

[Josh]

I was so good. You're good.

[Ben]

You're good.

[Josh]

I was 23 and I met this girl, and we were kind of, you know, we went back to my place and we're sort of kissing and doing the things.

[Ben]

What music do you put on when you bring a girl back to Your place at 23?

[Josh]

Amy Winehouse or the Roots or.

[Ben]

I don't know.

[Josh]

I was probably throwing something on. Pandora. Love it.

[Ben]

I just wanted to say, stage set. Okay, I can see it.

[Josh]

A good prompt. And so I just remember that we're, like, messing around and kissing, and she had gum, and so she's like, hold on, I want to throw my gum out. And she goes to the trash and goes to throw her gum out, and there's a condom wrapper in the trash from probably the night before. I don't know. I was having a time.

[Ben]

Legend.

[Josh]

Oh, God.

[Ben]

This guy right here. This guy fucks.

[Josh]

Yeah, it's horrible. And she called it out right away. She's like, I guess it's good that you're safe.

[Ben]

You could have just said that you were, like, playing around or making water balloons or I have a nosy neighbor. Like, I just. Like, I don't know. Or I wanted to make balloon art. Yeah, like, you should. You want to see my balloon art? You should have then taken a condom, blown it up, and made like a giraffe. Oh, my God. You don't understand.

[Josh]

It's a blowfish. It's a jellyfish. So you did nothing? Just. Hands are all luby.

[Ben]

Yuck.

[Claudia]

Yeah, man.

[Ben]

We get to condoms. Oh, we were talking about point of purchase. Yeah, condoms. Condoms are cool.

[Josh]

But the end of the story is that she was like, at least it's good that you are being safe. I gotta go. I was Like, I don't blame you, but thank you for coming over.

[Ben]

Yeah, thank you for coming. You have a gift bag or no. Well, goodies on the way out.

[Josh]

That's any sign.

[Ben]

Memorabilia.

[Josh]

That's an alleged thing about Derek Jeter, right?

[Ben]

I, I, I'm pretty sure it's, it's real.

[Josh]

Like, yeah, we don't know.

[Ben]

A big, big fat gift bag. Alleged. Wow. We can look up.

[Claudia]

Should we.

[Ben]

Let me tell you what was in it.

[Josh]

I heard.

[Ben]

Yeah, was in Derek Jeters.

[Josh]

I, well then maybe it's also alleged in a, in a rumor that, that at one time someone who had canoodled with him woke up in the middle of the night and he wasn't in bed. And she went to his study and she could just see through the door that he was watching his own highlights naked going, yeah, Jeets. Yeah, Jeets.

[Ben]

Fairly certain. That's alle. You don't know. You don't know. I definitely don't know. Why do I Google anything ever? Like, Google is just trash, but Gemini comparison to Chat. No, but it doesn't do anything. It ain't it. Let me go to my boy, Chat. Do you know that I started recently doing our ads with saying this ad is brought to you by my boy Nutrafol.

[Josh]

Hell yeah.

[Ben]

I call them all my boy.

[Josh]

Oh, I love that.

[Anonymous Caller]

Yeah.

[Ben]

All right. There's a long running rumor that during his playing days, Derek Jeter would send women he spent the night with home next day with a gift basket filled with an autographed baseball by Derek Jeter. Pennants, bats, tickets. However, Jeter himself has repeatedly denied that he ever actually gave out those gift baskets.

[Josh]

All right, well, enough said. He denied it.

[Ben]

You see? You see, Chat. They always know. They know. This episode of the Good Guys podcast

[Claudia]

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[Ben]

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[Claudia]

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[Ben]

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[Claudia]

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[Ben]

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[Claudia]

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[Claudia]

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[Ben]

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[Claudia]

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[Ben]

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[Claudia]

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[Claudia]

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[Josh]

I wanted to ask you about something. Oh, have you seen this thing? I'd love to hear what you think. So the Oscar nominations came out and the great Jesse Plemons, great actor, was snubbed and didn't get a nomination for his performance, which I've heard is incredible. And I don't know if he did, but I know his wife did the great Kirsten Dunst, who's a brilliant actor, too, which I don't blame her for a second because I love when people stand up for their spouse. But there was like a little bit of hullabaloo about just like people talking about, like, this is BS and he got snubbed and, and I don't know how you are. Like, I have a good question for you. What movie do you think Martin Scorsese won the Academy Award for for best director Fun Trick?

[Ben]

Oh, I have no, I have no idea. You tell me. And it's obviously not a movie that it's obviously not an acclaimed movie. It's not his big one.

[Josh]

The Departed.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Josh]

A brilliant, amazing movie.

[Ben]

Yes, yes.

[Josh]

2008.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Josh]

Before that, he made Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, Goodfellas, Last Temptation of Christ, Casino, and he got it for that. Here's another question. What film did my favorite actor, Denzel Washington, win the Academy Award for?

[Ben]

Obviously not a good one either. Tell me, and then I'll tell you. What year Kobe Bryant won mvp? Hell yeah. What year?

[Josh]

What did a great movie. Training Day, by the way.

[Ben]

Deserved it. So good.

[Josh]

Deserved it. You know what? He didn't win for Malcolm X. Yeah, yeah, he didn't win for one of the greatest performances playing one of the greatest people to ever exist. And it's a long winded way of me going, don't ever get mad if you don't get nominated. It'll happen over time. Way bigger, more important. People have been snubbed. You're in good company.

[Ben]

I do wonder why some are snubbed, though. Kobe Bryant, for example, could have won five MVPs. He won one year that, like, it wasn't even, like, his best year. Why do they do that? Why do they do that to some? Why, when it's so obvious? Why, when it's so clear as day, do they not award the person who deserves it? What am I missing? I feel like they do that often. Like, I feel like so often. Like, I don't. I don't remember who this happened to during the Grammys, but, like, I don't know. I just remembered thinking to myself, you know, there. There's a better. There's a better song than.

[Claudia]

Than that this year.

[Ben]

No, maybe not. I don't know.

[Josh]

I have a theory. It's political.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Josh]

There's campaigning that goes on, and some people are really good at it and some people aren't. And I think that. I think that there's two types of people that win the Academy Award in my estimation, like Timmy Chalamet. Could have won it last year, could have won it the year before. There is a case for him to win it every year.

[Anonymous Caller]

He.

[Josh]

Because he is a DiCaprio, Meryl Streep type. I will bet you over the next 20 years, half the things he does. Totally. There'd be an argument that he could win. He'll probably win this year. And I have another opinion on that, because I just saw a movie where I was like, oh, my God. And Emma Stone is that way. Right. She's already won twice. She's not even. Or maybe she's 40. Like, she's spectacular to me. Chalmette spectacular. And they will go on to be. I think it's either that where they owe it to you and someone like a Denzel or where it's like Scorsese. It's like, come on, stop it already. What are we nuts? This person has been one of the greatest contributor to the arts for decades. It's that, that it's a body of work or it's. They do one thing that is undeniable. No one was going to win the Academy Award when Jamie Foxx channeled Ray Charles. It was not gonna happen. And interestingly enough, like, no one was gonna beat Killian for Oppenheimer. It just wasn't. It was such a heroic feat to be able to carry that character for three, a three hour movie, that there was just not a world. And I think that there's like that dynamic. So you're either that or it's something where you've been so good for so long that they're just like, it's your time now. You get it?

[Ben]

Yeah. The Kobe effect, It's your time now.

[Josh]

The Kobe effect.

[Ben]

It's your time now. Can we talk about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?

[Josh]

I don't know anything about it, but go.

[Ben]

I want you to watch a little bit of it. Can you watch a little bit of it?

[Josh]

Sure.

[Ben]

Or is it like too brain numbing for you?

[Josh]

Well, I have a bad taste in my mouth for Traders and tell me what you think about this. And I want to dive really deep into rhbh.

[Ben]

So let's start with Traders and then let's go to rhbh and what I will say is rhbh is 10 times the show of Traders. But I have enjoyed Traders.

[Josh]

But please, I knew people love traders. The great Robbie Hoffman, who I love dearly, and her gorgeous wife, Gabby. Windy. I know that she won it last year and Gabby's incredible. And so, you know, I had heard about it and then I knew you loved it. And I'm like, let me give this a try. I think there is something really not good about reality star competition shows. I think when you take reality stars out of the singular thing that they're great at, which is their mini world of being a hot mess, you realize how mediocre they are. And I say that with love, but I've never seen a reality star competition show. And there's clearly a circuit and it pays well, so I understand why they do it. And it might be me one year, but.

[Ben]

And by the way, you'd be great. It's still, it's a huge show. Let's just Start there, though. Traders is an enormous show, but everything that you're saying is true.

[Josh]

But do you think that. And I know people are going to give us shit because of, you know, because people are annoying. But like, I thought Michael Rapoport early on, obviously, I know he was taken off with some controversial comments, but Michael Rappaport has been a successful actor for 40 years. So when I watched him on the show, I'm like, this is entertaining because it's someone who's in the business of entertainment. When I watch 90% of these other people, I'm like, I'm less compelled because I think they're kind of duds. Ish. What do you think?

[Ben]

Totally. Michael Rapaport was pure entertainment, which is why they found him so annoying.

[Josh]

Sure, I got.

[Ben]

I got it. And I think, again, being a fan of Housewives, just like Michael Rapoport, I think that you're like, lisa Rinna is a fucking superstar. I find her so incredibly entertaining. She was a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I find. I don't know what it is those, those, like, some of them, these are just like larger than life personalities. Not the same as a Michael Rapoport. A totally different medium. But yeah, the cast of Survivor, not really that interesting.

[Josh]

Painful.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Ben]

I don't know why they're on it. I completely agree the guy.

[Josh]

Are you compelled by Colton Underwood? Like, no.

[Ben]

No, not at all.

[Josh]

Are you dying to watch him?

[Ben]

No. And what I was reading recently or watching a TikTok, I don't even know how I consume my news anymore, probably Claudia told me, was that this was like his reintroduction to reality tv, where he was the Bachelor. He went away very publicly and now he's back and he's really not making a great first impression. Like, he's, he's really. He's just. He's just like a bully. He like and bullied people every single week into following him and taking his horrendous swings and misses. And yet it's definitely not entertaining. And then him and Rapoport got into that tiff. And I do think they sent home probably the most entertaining or second most entertaining person on that show in Michael rapoport. But yeah, 90% of that cast is not boring.

[Josh]

In the first or second episode where they put Michael Rapoport's casket into the grave and you just hear him go, you miserable fucks.

[Ben]

Yeah, he's an entertainer.

[Claudia]

He's funny.

[Josh]

Comedy, like, he goes, that's funny. Fucking rude. It's rude. And I'm like, this is hilarious.

[Claudia]

Hilarious.

[Ben]

He's great. And the only. I think that Rob, who's one of the traitors, is from. Is he from Survivor? Maybe. Whatever. He's incredible at the game. So at least if you're going to have somebody on, make them be incredible at the game. I find him entertaining because he's great at the game. But you have half the people there. I don't know who they are. I don't know why they're there. I don't know what show they're on. I've never heard of them. And they're just not entertaining. They have two figure skaters. Why would figure skaters be good for reality tv? In a competition show, you figure skate. It's amazing. By the way, Olympic figure skaters are so sick. Why does that translate to traders?

[Josh]

But again, it's just like having, like, Alan Cummings. Alan Cummings, yes.

[Ben]

Who, by the way, I like him.

[Josh]

I love him.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I think he's genius.

[Ben]

He's genius. And, like, he's outfitted.

[Josh]

He's a brilliant actor performer. And when he comes on, he's in this beautiful wardrobe and he's like, his shoulders are back and it looks like he's walking on the stage of the Royal Shakespeare Company, except he's with a bunch of reality stars, which makes it even better. He's brilliant.

[Ben]

So do you agree? Because I think that. I think that this is the right take.

[Claudia]

It's a really, really great premise for

[Ben]

a show that, if it was properly cast, would be awesome. But it, in, particularly in this season, just isn't. Like. There's just like a lot of duds.

[Josh]

You know, I'm a funny. I get offered almost yearly special forces. Not yearly, but I've been offered special forces once, maybe twice. And, you know, I've been offered Dancing with the Stars once. And it's just like the same formula. It's for, you know, a certain clientele. And I just think, like, it's really hard because of how many iterations of it, that they have to do it every year, that I don't think they can ever cast it. Great. Because there's only one pool to pull from.

[Claudia]

That's fair.

[Ben]

That's fair.

[Josh]

I think.

[Ben]

Yeah. Yeah. No, it's hard. It would be hard. You would have to have, like, one marquee season. But that's not the formula. The formula is to have 20 rinse and repeat. That's the way that they end up making money on a monster franchise. What I think is genius, which I had never seen before. You talk about marketing. They have QR codes Hidden. Not hidden like that. They'll just like put up on the screen during Traders where you can buy things that are in that house. You literally click it. You're like, you want the candelabra, you want the, like, you're looking at this, like, sick scene in like an Irish castle and you can buy it. I just thought that was genius. It also goes to show, like, just the world that we're heading into with live shopping and all of that. It's just. It's wild. This episode of the Good Guys podcast

[Claudia]

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[Ben]

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[Claudia]

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[Ben]

This episode of the Good Guys podcast

[Claudia]

is brought to you by our friends at Granola. If you're in back to back meetings all day, you know the struggle. You're nodding along, contributing, trying to stay present, but in the back of your mind, you're secretly stress scrolling your memory for what was just said or who's supposed to follow up on what meetings are a mess. Granola fixes that, folks, because granola is an AI powered notepad built for the way real people actually meet. Here's how it works.

[Ben]

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[Claudia]

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[Ben]

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[Claudia]

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[Ben]

Because look, I go into these meetings,

[Claudia]

I'm in these high powerful celebrity meetings. Maybe we're talking Spritz society. I don't. I don't know what we're talking about. And let me tell you, we leave. Some people have action items, other people have others.

[Ben]

I don't remember who has what.

[Claudia]

I know what I have to do. But it's hard to hold people accountable when you don't remember what you told them to do. And that's why granola was so amazing. I highly recommend it. Folks, if meetings are eating up your day, granola is a no brainer. You can try it totally free for three months. Just head to granola AI/goodguys. That's granola AI/goodGuys. To get your time back, get three months free at granola AI/goodguynY.

[Josh]

Tell me about Real Housewives.

[Ben]

Okay, so spoiler alert. Okay, we're. Now I'm fully caught up. Apparently this is weekly. We watch the first six episodes. I'm loving it. I can give you details into each person. I would really like you to watch it though. I think that it would be interesting. But I'll just say the big thing that happened this week or you know what? I'm going to tell you all the characters and if I like them or not. Kyle Richards. Fantastic. She's great. She's an OG Dorit. Fantastic. OG Big fan.

[Josh]

And only a letter away from Dorito.

[Ben]

And only a letter away from Dorito. Sutton, this woman's miserable, okay? Miserable.

[Josh]

Bose.

[Ben]

She was the marketing executive. Josh.

[Claudia]

For 10 years for Apple.

[Ben]

For Beats.

[Claudia]

For.

[Ben]

She's a boss. Sick. I love her.

[Claudia]

She's amazing. Fantastic.

[Ben]

Jennifer Tilly.

[Josh]

It's funny that Bose worked at Beats. It's like if not if Mac worked at Windows. Sorry.

[Claudia]

Huge.

[Ben]

Miss. Oh, they should have hired her.

[Claudia]

Jennifer Tilly. Amazing.

[Ben]

Who am I missing? Oh, what is her name?

[Claudia]

What is her name?

[Ben]

Oh, Erika Jayne.

[Claudia]

Fantastic.

[Josh]

Come on. She's green.

[Ben]

She's a cla. Oh, Rachel Zoe. Rachel Zoe is a new housewife. Awesome. So fun. Josh, this woman, Amanda Francis. Awful, awful, awful, awful. So the big storyline of the season is Amanda Francis. She's the youngest of the housewives. I think she's like, late 30s, made all of her money from online coursing about how to manifest being rich. That's all you need to know about her personality.

[Josh]

Gotcha.

[Ben]

She came in, she bought Kyle Richards old house. Very, like, a beloved house with, like, these, like, white and black marble floors. She, like, did a public demolition ripping up the floors. So, like, everybody was already like, all right, this woman, she's coming in, like, with ill intentions. She comes on the show. You've never seen somebody talk more about Chanel, Louis Vuitton, wear more of them. And again, read the room. You're in.

[Claudia]

Rooms.

[Ben]

Jennifer Tilly has, like, $300 million. Or she makes like, 300. There's something like she makes, like $300 million a year. I think she has 10% of the Simpsons. Her ex husband made the Simpsons, and she's 10% of the Simpsons.

[Josh]

Is there Jennifer Tilly?

[Ben]

Yeah. Yes.

[Josh]

And was she married to Sam Simon?

[Ben]

I don't know who she was married to. I know that she was. Is that the. Is that the only creator of the Simpsons?

[Josh]

No. Matt Groening was the other one.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Is the major.

[Ben]

Okay, yeah, no, fact check me first, because I'm pretty sure I'm right. That she has, like, 10 or 11% of the Simpsons.

[Josh]

Yeah. Her husband was Sam Simon.

[Ben]

There you go. Okay. So really rich. So when you're. You don't need. When you're really rich and you're in a room with really rich women, Kathy Hilton often makes an appearance on the show.

[Claudia]

Really rich women.

[Ben]

You wearing head to toe Louis Vuitton.

[Claudia]

You just. You're.

[Ben]

You're a poser. Like, you just. You look like a poser. They'll all. They'll say, like, oh, I bought this bag. She'll be like, oh, I have six of them. It's like, okay, Amanda, relax. Okay, Relax.

[Josh]

It's like me with my Trader Joe's Totes. I have it in every color.

[Claudia]

They are great totes.

[Ben]

And Josh, what came to a head this week? Dorit is going through a very public divorce from her husband, P.K. and there was some talking behind the scenes. Amanda's like, you shouldn't be publicly trashing pk. It'll come back to bite you in the ass. During the divorce. Dorit brings it up at this dinner party and puts Amanda in the hot seat. And Amanda goes, I really don't want to talk about this right now. It's the anniversary of my son's death. She had twins. One died at five days old. They were both preterm in the nicu and Dorit's like, oh, my. All of them are like, whoa. Like an atomic bomb went off. They're sitting at a dinner, they're not talking about anything serious. It's just regular real housewife drama. All of a sudden, she throws in that it's the anniversary of her five day old's death three years ago. And everybody's like, we so sorry. This is terrible. Don't have to talk about it anymore. She starts. She reintroduces the argument and then Dorit starts talking about the argument again. They sort of like breeze past this. This big drama. And now the entire season is just about how insensitive Dorit is because of the way that she reacted to this news that was like, me and you are having an argument. Ok? We don't know each other so well. We're having an argument and all of a sudden you use the worst thing that's ever happened to you in your life as a rebuttal to what we're talking about. And Josh, this is everywhere. This is. This is everywhere. So that's my recap.

[Josh]

Wow. All right.

[Ben]

That's my Real Housewives. Or check and we'll see if you guys liked my recap. We'll do it again. If not, you know you're gonna hear it again because I'm obsessed.

[Claudia]

This show is must see tv. This is. This is great.

[Ben]

It's great drama. It's fun, cute.

[Josh]

I love. I like when you're passionate.

[Ben]

I'm passionate. I'm passionate.

[Josh]

Should we get to some moron mail? We've got some good ones.

[Ben]

Moron mail. We should.

[Josh]

If you want to ask us some questions, get some advice, go to speakpipe.com goodguys keep it brief. Brevity's key. We don't want your witty nutzes. And. And really, you gotta spill something good. Otherwise we're getting rid of moron mail. That's right. It's still on probation, even though you guys have been kind of a little bit better. Let's first go to somebody good. Leah from Tennessee.

[Ben]

Somebody good.

[Leah from Tennessee]

Hey, good guys. Love the podcast. Been an OG listener. Definitely have a situation that happened this week that I would like your advice on. I was cleaning out all of our closets and Stuff and ran across two of my husband's old phones. I was bored, so I just had to plug them up, look through them, see, like, what was in them, and I found a couple sex videos from my husband and his ex. And I don't know what to do with this information. I'm not mad about it, but I'm intrigued and kind of want to bring it up to him. But also at the same time, is it crazy that I went through these phones?

[Anonymous Baker Caller]

I don't know.

[Leah from Tennessee]

I'm just a bored girl. So let me know what you think. And yeah, have a great day.

[Claudia]

Wow.

[Ben]

First of all, your husband's a baller.

[Josh]

Yeah. The headline is. The headline is she's not mad about it. Go.

[Ben]

Okay. I do think that it's an extreme invasion of privacy and nuts to plug in somebody's old phone and go through it. Cuz you're bored, maybe. Call me crazy. I would never do that, ever. Like, I find one of Claudia's old phones, I'm not for one second thinking, can I turn it on while she's not here and look through it? Like, my brain just doesn't work like that. But maybe. I don't know. I would be. I would love to know if you would ever do that, Josh. I don't think you ever would. I don't want to know any of those things, though. That's me. Like, if somebody's talking about me, I'm not going to be the person to go up to them and say, hey, what are you talking about? I'm going to leave the room. Because that's me. You talk about me, say whatever you want. And I actually have the ability to know that you're talking about me and not have it bother me. It's a unique skill that I have that perhaps not everybody has. But it will hurt me so much more if I know. So I don't want to know, okay? It's over there. I don't want to know. Okay? Because then maybe it couldn't be so bad. If I plug in the phone and I turn it on and it's bad, then my day's ruined. But if I never turned on the phone, you know, nothing bad could happen. So, yeah, I think that it's a little nuts to have done that. But now that you're not mad. I do. I would be prepared for him to be mad. I think it's an extreme invasion of privacy and I would hate it if somebody did it to me. I do think that the fact that you found an old sex video Will probably turn him from defensive to apologizing, so you have that right.

[Josh]

But would you apologize?

[Ben]

I think that I would apologize for the fact that she had to see it. I don't think that there's nothing wrong with it at all. And I do think you're clear in this.

[Josh]

You didn't do it. You don't know her yet. And she meddled.

[Ben]

It's still. I would still have to apologize for what she saw. Not because it was wrong, but because if I saw my spouse having sex with another person, even if it was before, it would. It would. It would make me upset. There's no way she wasn't upset seeing it. Impossible. How could you not be? Like, you're. You see a video of Paige having sex with another person, make me want to jerk off.

[Josh]

I mean, throw up. I mean, sorry.

[Ben]

Both make me want to call him. Yeah. I don't. It's just, like, so. Yeah. No, he doesn't. There's no. He doesn't have to apologize. He did nothing wrong. She did everything wrong. I just think that at least maybe this is just me. Like, my natural mechanism would be. I'd be on offense. I'd be like, this is fucked up. This is an invasion of privacy. And then it would be like, oh, you saw a video of me having sex with somebody else. I'm really sorry about that. Let's just drop it.

[Josh]

She seems like a freak. In a good way. She's like, I'm intrigued.

[Ben]

That was weird. That part we need to double click into.

[Josh]

No, it seems awesome. I mean, look, if it's the only way to be other than to feel nothing, which would be impossible if it. The word intrigued is a fabulous word, and I think words matter. So let's break down. Let's break down the etymology of intrigued. Intrigue. I have intrigue. Yeah, man, I see a lot of dirty birdie things with having intrigue about this, and I'm down to clown. I mean, it's literally the only way, because the only other version. Because you're not. You would never say, I'm happy for him. That would be insane. And so the only other thing besides intrigue, you could say is, I'm hurt. I'm grossed out. I can't get over this. Or it's seared in my mind. So I think intrigue is great. I think we should be a little bit creative here on how can she bring it up in a way that won't get her in trouble? Because she obviously kind of wants to hear more.

[Ben]

So, Josh, I now Have a question.

[Josh]

She wants to lead him to water.

[Claudia]

Why did she.

[Ben]

Why did he save these phones?

[Josh]

I have all my old phones, most of them.

[Ben]

You have all of your old phones? Uncleared.

[Josh]

Many of them are uncleared. Mostly it's because it was, like, recently. I'll now either give them away or it's super easy to send them back to Apple and they give you a couple hundred bucks towards your next thing. But before that, they would just stick around. I have my first iPhone 4.

[Claudia]

Interesting.

[Ben]

I guess my thought is just. And maybe. Maybe this isn't the case, but, like, is there any chance that he kept them? Like, how many things were on that phone? Was the only thing on the phone the sex video? Then he has the phone so he can watch the sex video. Maybe, like, then it's a little bit promiscuous here, but, like, I find it hard to believe that you just, like, plugged in a random phone, looked through a million videos, and happened to find a sex tape. Like, I doubt it was there.

[Josh]

I doubt it was a phone devoted to that. But I. I hear what you're saying. I. But again, I. Let's assume that you were with someone who's, like, their only desire was to keep this video for. To revisit it here and there and, I don't know, have a time. Right. They are 100% loyal to you. Like, I understand why it wouldn't sit well if you knew about it, but. But if I take myself away, I go, like, is there really a huge issue with that? It's fun to. It's fun to chat about. It's fun to debate.

[Ben]

I think that if I found it, I wouldn't break up with the person, but I would be hurt, and I would ask for it to be removed. Do I think it's cheating? No. Do I think it's a shot to the ego that you in a committed relationship need to fantasize? It's. It's just. It's, like, different than porn. It's like you with another person on video. You had that. It's almost like you're longing for that experience over what we have now. So it would deeply hurt me. I would move past it, but it would deeply hurt me.

[Josh]

So maybe another question. I would be hurt. Absolutely. I think there would be a huge differentiation between. If I suspected they were still in love with them or had, like, you know, if there was any connection still, that they were holding on to it for anything other than it was, like, this kink that they enjoyed.

[Ben]

Sure, sure.

[Josh]

Then it would Be a wrap. I'd be like, we're done. Goodbye. You cannot let go of this thing. You clearly have, like, even an inkling of feeling that that's not clean. But if it was just for adult purposes, I don't know. I think you tell me this, and this is something that I advocate to married couples, whatever they're into. But what I think is, like, I'm pretty vanilla when it comes to that stuff, right? Like, I love having a partner. I don't, like, I don't ever want to get tied up. Not my thing. God bless you if it is, like, obviously, like, the things you see, you know, in movies and TV and all that kind of like stereotypes of. Of kinks that people have. Like, I kind of just like, love being with my partner, you know, being with my wife. And in a pretty vanilla way, that being said, and I would say this to all people who are in relationships, like, if you want to have fantasy, if you want to have talk with your partner and just like. And it's fun, like, I don't think that should ever be judged. In fact, I think it should be encouraged.

[Ben]

Right?

[Josh]

Because it's like, let, like, let your mind take you to the craziest place while you're with your partner. And it means nothing more than they felt safe enough to explore this and let themselves be taken away in this fun, like, fantasy while they're with their safe partner who they are loyal to. And I think I would just hate this idea that someone was with someone and they were like. And then, you know, somebody else walks in the room and their partner goes, ew. And they're like, hey, like, what are we talking about here? Right? Like, shouldn't you be free? What do you think?

[Ben]

I completely agree. I. That said, you have to know your partner.

[Josh]

Sure.

[Ben]

Like, and it's. It's a real shame if you're married to somebody that isn't open and you're open. But it's very, very important that before you get married that you understand. Is this a safe space? And for good relationships, it's more than a safe space. It's an encouraged space. And it's one that keeps, I think, relationships very interesting all the time. It's like, I think that if I have to think about the people who cheat and why they cheat, I've never thought about it, but it might be the person who wants to dirty talk their spouse, finds it repulsive, and so they'll find somebody else to dirty talk to. That's it. Like, it's on that. It's that small. It's like if you make your partner feel small for being honest with you, then be prepared for the consequences of your actions. That's not to say that somebody deserved to be cheated on, but that is like the rare example where if you know that somebody is like this, they have that they like whatever it is, and you make them feel bad for it, time after time, they're gonna find somebody that makes them feel good about it.

[Josh]

So true.

[Ben]

Yeah, I totally, totally agree with you. And we should encourage our married couples

[Claudia]

to spice it up.

[Josh]

Stay spice it up.

[Ben]

Just don't bring me into your bedroom. Okay? Don't do that. Okay. Leave me out of it.

[Josh]

No, I'll be like, you and I are in here, Paige. And then Ben's making a spread downstairs for when we're done. Ben's like, more penne vodka. Stay down there.

[Ben]

Ben managed three cigarettes and a plate of chicken parm waiting for us downstairs.

[Josh]

Oh, great.

[Ben]

That's hysterical.

[Josh]

Let's hear a follow up from Anonymous.

[Anonymous Caller]

Hey, good guys. Calling back with a long overdue update. I don't know if you remember this, it was probably over a year ago, but I called about my boyfriend's boy's trip to Europe. You guys were not on my side in the situation. I think you called me insufferable and hurt my feelings a little bit, I'm not gonna lie. However, it did kind of light a fire under my ass to look inwards and there was a little bit of a jealousy aspect to it. So I started going to therapy. I started seeing a psychiatrist. I'm medicated. I did a 200 hour yoga teaching certification. I'm now a yoga teacher. I have my own community of friends that align closer with the things that I like to do on a day to day basis. And I'm doing much better in my life. And I'm not gonna lie, I'm not a huge fan of tough love, but it did work in this case and I'm still a weekly listener, so thank you, Bubs.

[Josh]

We love you.

[Ben]

Wow. So we changed her life.

[Josh]

Fuck yeah, we did.

[Ben]

Okay, I'm just saying, like you guys are coming, leaving these weak ass moron males. And when you come with the good shit, we can change your life.

[Josh]

We say we save you.

[Claudia]

We.

[Ben]

Yeah, you're going to need. It's actually, it's probably going to scare people away from ever leaving moron mail again that we had somebody get a therapist, get 200 hours of yoga certification, completely change all of her friends just because of one moron. Mail. But you needed it. Okay.

[Claudia]

When we're here, Daddy's here.

[Ben]

Daddy's here. Daddies are here.

[Josh]

The daddies are in.

[Anonymous Caller]

Yuck.

[Josh]

So let me tell you this, and I think it's created conflict between you and I before. I, I think, I know I'm wrong, but I kind of don't think there's anything other than tough love. But we're really talking about change. I think there's when you love someone, consoling them. I think there's having empathy being there, being a shoulder to cry on. But let's not confuse it with any version of change or help. Does that make sense?

[Ben]

It does. I would say that the best way to force change that I know of is definitely tough love, for sure. That said, you have to know who you're talking to. And to ruin a pure person also really stinks like some people can't handle tough love. Some people weren't built for it. Some people weren't built to have that change, maybe that you're talking about. Maybe you didn't need to change them. I'm sure that in terms of the big things, let's say sobriety or something like that, a tough love is probably, is probably needed. But I think that if somebody just has a habit that isn't life threatening, that you'd like to see changed or maybe they don't work hard enough or. I don't know, it's hard without a specific example. But I think that some people can handle tough love. And I think that for some people, they absolutely cannot. They can't. Like if you tried, I would never, ever, ever use tough love on my sister or my mom. Not because they couldn't handle it, because I have too much respect for them to give them tough love. I just couldn't do it. And not that they need it necessarily, but they're sensitive. These are sensitive, softer women. And I just would never wanna. It's not worth offending them. If I ever did feel that way, I would always go to them in a very respectful way and voice a concern. I would never ice them out on something. Does that make sense?

[Josh]

Yeah, I think there's a timing involved. Like sometimes the world will crack someone open to being able to hear advice. And yeah, I believe that people respond well to catastrophe. And sometimes life has a way of just hitting you, hitting you over and over to where you finally get to a place where you say, my way doesn't work anymore. And then you kind of open and available and it's short. And I always say, and we talk about it in recovery. Like when someone calls you and says, I can't take this anymore. I lost my job, I lost my wife. Drinking's ruining my life. I want to go to a meeting. Please help. Don't let them take a nap and eat a sandwich because they might wake up and go, ah, it's not that bad. And the sandwich is great. Of course, right? Like, when someone is in crisis is the unfortunately and fortunately the best time to make a change. And I think that, yeah, I think you're right. I think you. It depends on the per. The person and you have to.

[Ben]

And it's. And it depends on the circumstance, really. Like, I couldn't agree with you more that in that specific circumstance you have to lead tough. But I don't think you immediately lead tough. Like, what comes to mind is that I think the conversation that we had about this, where we lightly disagreed was the Charlie Sheen, Martin Sheen conversation, where Martin Sheen, for the most part, has not led with tough love. And very, very publicly, I support my son. I love him. I'm here for him. Led with love. And Charlie was a guy that clearly needed more than tough love. He needed a wake up call from his parents at one point or another. And I do think that you, at least I, I would lead with love and compassion and understanding and coddling to a point. And then you reach that point and you're looking again, if it's serious enough where it's life or death, it's they need to change or, or something terrible can happen to them, then, yeah, you got to go with the proven, which is tough love is, is a proven tactic to change. No question. No question. So if you need somebody to change, go with tough.

[Josh]

Love it. Love it, love it. Here's another speak pipe from somebody real good and this one is from Anonymous.

[Anonymous Prenup Caller]

Hi, good guys. Thank you so much for answering my question a while back about pre nups. Prenups. Sorry, Ben. I still, I've always just said prenups, but I have a situation that I wanted to share with you guys. I work at Gordon Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen and another one of my fellow colleagues at the restaurant had been recently selling her cakes like baked goods at the restaurant to other employees. And while on the clock and we pool tips and the managers were also like purchasing these cakes from her. I then proceeded to go to directly to HR about how this was illegal and blah, blah, blah. I hadn't worked with her in about a month or so and I recently just had to work with her and the first thing she says to me was, did I email HR about her cakes? Now, in the first paragraph, I asked to remain anonymous and sent this emailed to HR in confidence that my name would be disclosed. And now. And I lied to her and I said no, but I didn't email them. It's now really uncomfortable and I would just like your guys advice on how to proceed moving forward, working with her.

[Claudia]

Thank you.

[Ben]

Bye. Oh, I have so many thoughts.

[Josh]

Yeah, go get her, Ben.

[Ben]

Okay, first, what I will say is it depends on the job. Right? Depends on the job. But I have people that work for me at Spritz Society that I literally encourage. They work for me full time. But if I see a side project or I know that it won't take up time from their day, I will absolutely connect them, recommend them, and know that they're doing like side consulting work. And that's because if your employee is happy and they feel valued, there's endless time in the day, Josh. To work. Endless. Them having another way of making money. People have side hustles all day long now. All day long. You're going to cut this woman off at the knees for having a side hustle of baking.

[Josh]

It's just her fellow employees. She's not selling it to the people eating at the restaurant.

[Ben]

But even if she was, who's not your place?

[Josh]

No, no, no. You can't do that. Because you can't. You can't sell homemade goods to consumers without having in someone else's restaurant, without having a commercial kitchen.

[Ben]

Of course you 100% can't do that.

[Josh]

She was selling it to her fellow employees and friends at the company. It's just important to make that clear because it is at a restaurant.

[Ben]

That's all I'm saying. At the restaurant. No question. You cannot do that. But even if she was handing out, hypothetically, a QR code on a business card for Gold Belly to ship these cakes to customers after the fact. It's just not her place. It's not her place to tell on somebody with entrepreneurial spirit that clearly is using this job at Hell's Kitchen as a stepping stone that has bigger aspirations to do something more in the culinary space that supported by everybody else. It just. It feels so tattletale. You said rat. It's just gross. It's bad karma. It's bad karma.

[Josh]

And you don't want to say that you asked it like, of course you asked to be anonymous because you know this is a Karen move and you're upset that there's probably a Handful of people that work there. And that she's deduced that Karen over there, sous chef number five, you know, in the crinkled chef whites, you know that perhaps you are the one. Like, it's uncomfortable because you did something whack and now you're having to live with the discomfort you created.

[Ben]

In case you want to know what to do, which I might have been the question at hand, I would listen to this. I would internalize that what you did was fucked up and that's okay. And to make it right, I would go to her and I would say, actually, you confronted me other day, the other day, asking me if I was the one who reported you to hr. I was going through something. I feel really bad about it. It's not you, it's me. I'm really sorry. I did do that. And if I can ever make it up to you in another way, please let me know. And I think you'll feel much better. Or you'll get punched in the face. Either one you deserve, so. But then it'll be over. But if you just hold it and you're working with this person, it'll kill you. It's a terrible work environment. I would come clean.

[Josh]

Maybe the real crime is the baked goods aren't that good. In which case, Sorry, honey.

[Ben]

Well, that's another question too. That's another question too. We don't even know what kind of baked good.

[Josh]

So true. Here's one from Anonymous.

[Anonymous Baker Caller]

Hey guys, I need your advice. I have to sit next to a man for the next 30 days, six days a week, 12 hour days, who is incredibly smart. But anytime he's not saying something smart is gross and offensive. Unfortunately, he is the director over the project that I am on and I have to be in the room most of the time to be able to report out on different maintenance activities that are going on. I don't know how to ignore him. I do my best putting AirPods in and just staying in my own lane. But sometimes I can't take it anymore and I have to say something. So what advice do you have for me to just be able to do my job, do it well, keep my head down and not become totally pissed off at the end of the day because of this man.

[Ben]

Don't suck it up and just move on. Say something to him. Most people when confronted, say sorry. If not, then it's a totally different story. But this is not like the last speak pipe, okay?

[Claudia]

This is very different.

[Ben]

If you're sitting in a workplace environment and your boss is making you uncomfortable? I would highly recommend going to that person and saying, hey, I don't know if you realize this or not, but when you say that, it doesn't make me feel very good. Do you mind changing the way that you speak? Do you mind changing what you're saying? And I think that nine times out of ten, Josh, that person would just change the way that they're saying something. Maybe he doesn't even realize it. Maybe he thinks he's being funny. I would certainly start there and, and see if that works. If not, then this is not like the suck it up and take it. You have to go there every day. And if it's really a terrible work environment for you, then you should figure that out.

[Josh]

Word up. I agree.

[Ben]

What do you think?

[Josh]

I agree. And I think there's something easy about like just putting it all. Like, I think there's a good way. If you like the person or you're okay with the person, say hard and quick. Be like, listen, I like working with you. I think you're smart. Here's my issue. It's got to stop. It grosses me out. Otherwise I can't continue to work this way and I'm going to have to do some other things. But I'm giving you the opportunity. Can you please just be mindful of that? And this is the only time I'm going to ask. Boom. Don't make it a 20 minute thing. 60 seconds, bong. They have the opportunity to adjust or not. If they don't take it to HR and es. Escalate, escalate.

[Ben]

And definitely, definitely start with the person. Like what our last speak pipe caller got wrong, Josh. She should have gone to the baker and I don't know. First talk to the baker. I don't know why she reported the girl, the poor girl that was baking and selling her baked goods so messed up. But like, at least first go to her and say, hey, you know, we pull tips. I don't think you're working as hard as you should be. Can we figure something out instead of just running to HR like a rat?

[Claudia]

Don't be a rat.

[Ben]

Go and talk to the person and see if you can enact change.

[Josh]

Unless she's leaving out like, you're right and maybe I want to make sure that we got it right. Is she saying we pull tips and instead of her working hard, she's baking at work?

[Claudia]

She.

[Ben]

I think so. I think she could be saying that.

[Josh]

Okay, well then that's bullshit.

[Ben]

Then.

[Josh]

She's right. And I take it all back.

[Ben]

Fuck That I don't think she's a. She's not 100% right for going to HR without going to the girl.

[Josh]

If I was Gordon Ramsay and you are baking on the clock, you're fucking fired.

[Ben]

So Gordon Ramsay should do that, but she's 100%.

[Josh]

You don't bake on the clock at a restaurant. This isn't like you would be looking at TMZ at your desk job instead. So you're like doing the little writing on the side. We're at a restaurant. You're using all of this to bake your goods. Now you can't do that.

[Ben]

I wonder if that's the case.

[Josh]

If that's the case, I'm with her.

[Ben]

If she's baking on the clock and selling goods to the employees on the clock, then I'm with her. I would agree.

[Josh]

Right.

[Ben]

I don't think that it was that. I think there was something about pooling tips, though.

[Josh]

It's also. She's certainly using. At that point, she's certainly using the materials from the restaurant, which is also unacceptable. Like the ingredients. You think she's bringing her own flour?

[Ben]

If. No. If she's actually baking there, it's a problem. But stealing, you can't.

[Josh]

You're stealing time from your employer.

[Ben]

You can't pick up the clock. No clock.

[Josh]

You want to do nuts?

[Ben]

I. Now I'm curious. Do we get it wrong? I don't think so. Yes.

[Claudia]

What are you nuts?

[Josh]

Are. What are you nuts? Moment of the week are gripes with people, Places and things both big and tall. I kind of feel bad. If we were wrong. We were so mean to that girl anyway. What do you not.

[Ben]

I don't know. Were we wrong?

[Josh]

Listen, Hunter, that sounds demeaning. Listen, Legs.

[Ben]

Oh, my God. That's funny. We'll just listen back. If we were wrong, we'll cut it. If not, we'll leave it Our one Enos moment of the week. Gripes with people, Places and things both big and small. Whatever. Sticking in your craw, folks? I was and I said I went

[Claudia]

to the rack, Josh.

[Ben]

The Nordstrom rack. I went and I saw these hats. Can I read you a couple of these hats, Josh? Sorry about my husband is written on a hat.

[Josh]

Hell, yeah.

[Ben]

Ok. What are you nuts? Who's buying? Sorry about my husband.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Ben]

And putting it on a hat. Who's even thinking of printing that? I mean, the other hats are equally as terrible. That one was just like, put it on my boyfriend's tab. Put it on my husband's tab. Who's buying this shit. What are you, nuts?

[Claudia]

I don't know.

[Ben]

By the way, I guess it's not nuts of the printer if people are buying them, but if you're buying that hat. Sorry about my husband.

[Claudia]

What are you nuts?

[Josh]

My what are you nuts? Moment of the week is the game. Tic tac toe. If you have a brain. No one ever wins that game.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh]

It's a non winning game.

[Ben]

It is. It is. If you know how to play. It's a non winning game if you just pay attention.

[Josh]

No one will ever win. Ever.

[Ben]

Correct.

[Josh]

There's no strategy. And you play a lot of it when you have kids and you come to realize, oh, I could just. I could just make them lose forever.

[Ben]

Yep, yep.

[Josh]

Cool. Cool.

[Ben]

It's a completely nuts game. I completely agree, Josh.

[Claudia]

This episode's five stars.

[Ben]

Otherwise, what are you, nuts? Rate, review and subscribe. That's all you need to do. Rate, review and subscribe. And once a week we're going to read a beautiful review. Only five star reviews, Josh. That's all we're going to be reading. We're going to read one beautiful five star review.

[Josh]

And this one's from Shiksa 1980. If you want to laugh. You took this off. I know I'm late to the game, but I recently started listening to the podcast from the very beginning and I found myself laughing hysterically to these two. I am married to a mother and the references they make and the way they talk about their parents is so relatable. I feel like I'm sitting with them talking about my mother in law. And I love my mother in law. Keep it up, guys.

[Ben]

I don't know what MOT means. Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you

[Claudia]

next time.

[Ben]

Please note that this episode may contain

[Carlene or Jill]

paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products

[Ben]

or services referred to in this episode.