Reading Our Texts and Friendship Red Flags

Summary

Good Guys Podcast — Episode Summary

Podcast Title: Good Guys
Episode: Reading Our Texts and Friendship Red Flags
Date: April 9, 2026
Hosts: Josh Peck & Ben Soffer
Producer: Dear Media

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, Josh and Ben delve into the intricacies of privacy in relationships, the fine line between curiosity and trust, and explore the subtle (and not-so-subtle) red flags that signal failing friendships. Along the way, they share personal anecdotes, debate travel preferences, reflect on hosting etiquette, and react to trending weird news and listener dilemmas. The tone is classic Good Guys: honest, self-deprecating, Jewish, and laugh-out-loud funny.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reading Texts & Relationship Privacy

Timestamps: 00:02 – 04:29

• Would You Read a Popped-Up Text on Someone Else’s Phone?
  • Josh: Absolutely! "I read it right away and I think that it was God sending me a sign..." (00:13)
  • Ben: Completely opposite. “I don’t ever want to know, ever. I’m so paranoid that it could be about me...” (00:22)
  • Both agree that most people would read it, but Ben is the rare exception.
• Phone Snooping in Relationships
  • Ben’s wife Claudia sometimes checks his phone: “She’ll occasionally look through my phone, but that’s because, like, I don’t care.” (02:03)
  • Josh and Paige have full access to each other’s phones but don’t feel the need to snoop.

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2. Documentary Recommendation: ‘We Met at Grossinger’s’

Timestamps: 03:00 – 05:37

• Ben shares his enthusiastic reaction to an impactful documentary about the historic Grossinger’s Hotel in the Catskills, where both Jewish and Black communities found refuge from discrimination.
  • “Grossinger’s was like the number one Catskills Hotel in the early 1900s... such a beautiful documentary about Jews having this amazing place...” (03:13)
• Ben humorously recounts being unexpectedly asked to host the film’s Q&A, solo: “I did it alone. I had no part in the movie. I did it completely alone. But I’m Jewish. I know the Catskills. I am good on my feet. I had no problem.” (04:32)

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3. Travel Preferences, Loyalty, and Pet Peeves

Timestamps: 05:53 – 14:25

• Loyalty to Airlines vs. Direct Flights
  • Ben calls out friend Jared Freed for insane loyalty: “He will take one stop flights just to fly Delta, even if there is a direct flight on another airline.” (07:07)
  • Josh is more sympathetic, noting some people don’t mind layovers if they’re not rushing home.
  • Strong debate on time value: “For me, the idea of wasting a single second traveling— to each their own. Your life sounds far calmer and more peaceful.” —Ben (11:36)
• Service Etiquette
  • Josh rails against people mistreating service staff: “They have a tone for people of service. And I’m like, dog out of here with that tone… Change it up, my man.” (14:25)
  • Both endorse complimenting people (especially for their nails): “They wanted you to see.” —Josh (14:57)
  • Ben praises unplugging from phones for mindfulness: “One day a week, I’ve been shutting my phone… it’s the best day of my week.” (15:23)

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4. Weird News & Modern Dating/Friendship Red Flags

Timestamps: 22:50 – 33:28

• Sinister Dating Trends: Abandonment on Hikes
  • “He just left her alone in the woods.” —Ben, appalled (23:05)
  • Both agree: decency trumps chivalry— it’s human to not abandon someone.
• Friendship Ruiners
  • Leaving someone for being five minutes late (a “friendship over” offense).
  • Not reciprocating small kindnesses, like giving rides.
  • Josh shares being ghosted for a podcast appearance after doing favors; Ben calls it out: “That’s just, they’re selfish. They used you for what they needed, and they threw you away.” (27:56)
  • Blowing up and going “nuclear” in a fight: “Some people don’t know that you cannot go nuclear because the fallout, the radiation you spew…” —Josh (29:20)
  • Self-absorption, lack of self-awareness, and poor treatment of family as major friendship red flags.
  • “I have felt myself actively distanced from disappointments… not the same. I can’t relate to you anymore.” —Ben (31:14)

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5. Listener Mailbag: Moral Dilemmas and Hosting Gripes

Timestamps: 42:48 – 50:42

• Do You Tell Someone if their Spouse was Cheating in Public?
  • Josh: “No. I mean, you can’t blow up anyone’s relationship, can you?” (43:30)
  • Ben: Would only tell if really close, otherwise, “I’d probably find someone closer to him and say, ‘Hey, did you know this?’… validate it before I went on a witch hunt for his wife.” (44:51)
• Portion Control Etiquette
  • A listener wonders if a friend is low-key calling her fat by taking much bigger food portions.
  • Ben: “She’s a hungry girl… she just put her needs before yours. I don’t think she was calling you fat.” (47:14)
  • Josh: “Your guest gets the best cut of the meat... there needs to be six pieces of chicken left over!” (47:36)
  • Ben: “I hate when there is a clean plate. That gives me the heebie jeebies because I know somebody wanted another piece of chicken.” (48:21)
  • Josh recounts an abundance vs. just-right food planning dilemma—Paige sends him out for more steak to avoid ever being short (49:16).

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6. “What Are You, Nuts?!” Moments of the Week

Timestamps: 50:42 – 53:54

• Josh: Scheduling car maintenance online and being asked to pick services:
  • “What services would you like? What are you, nuts? What am I, a carologist? No, that’s your job!” (51:20)
• Ben: Claudia never sends back food in restaurants, even if it’s inedible:
  • “The waitress comes over to her, says, ‘Oh, how’s everything?’ Amazing. Everything’s so great. Doesn’t eat, we pay for it, we go home. Nah, that’s nuts.” (51:47)
  • Imaginative riff about “Captain Kvetch,” assembling generations of Jewish women to complain and get things done. (53:06)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you abandon me on a hike… even if you still keep in touch, in your head you know they’re dead to you.” —Josh (23:50)
• “I think there’s a huge difference between time management and being angry when time doesn’t go your way.” —Ben (13:52)
• “I love this saying that the great gift we all have is you don’t have to have an opinion about it.” —Josh (12:55)
• “Some people don’t know that you cannot go nuclear because the fallout, the radiation you spew... it might kill half the village.” —Josh (29:20)
• Ben on ghosting: “For like our listeners, like when you do somebody’s podcast, it’s very, very understood that they’ll do yours if they’re free. It’s a trade.” (27:56)
• Josh on anti-Semitism: “Historically, 5,000 years of written history. When has going after the Jews worked out?” (40:32)
• Ben’s hypothetical business venture: “Jebediah’s Kush… I would buy Jebediah’s cushion a second.” (42:03)
• The classic sign-off: “Give it five stars. Otherwise, what are you, nuts?” (53:54)

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Episode Structure & Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamps | |-------------------------------------|-------------| | Text Snooping & Privacy | 00:02–04:29 | | ‘We Met at Grossinger’s’ Doc | 03:00–05:37 | | Travel Loyalty Debate | 05:53–14:25 | | Service Etiquette & Compliments | 14:25–16:26 | | News & Friendship Red Flags | 22:50–33:28 | | Listener Mailbag | 42:48–50:42 | | Food, Hosting, & Etiquette Gripes | 47:14–50:42 | | What Are You, Nuts?! | 50:42–53:54 | | Sign-off & Running Jokes | 53:54–end |

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Takeaways

• Trust, communication, and respect are central to good relationships—whether romantic or platonic.
• Travel and time management expose deep personality divides (task-oriented vs. relaxed, loyalty vs. efficiency).
• Small gestures in hosting and friendship matter more than we realize.
• Friendship-ending behaviors range from lack of reciprocity to unchecked egos or treating others poorly.
• The Good Guys wrap serious insights in genuine humor, playful banter, and a perspective that’s both neurotic and wise.

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Listen for:
Hilarious rants, relatable gripes, and surprisingly earnest wisdom about what makes (and breaks) modern friendship.
Notable mood: Playful, transparent, tongue-in-cheek, and always sprinkled with a dose of Jewish grandparent energy.

Transcript

[Josh]

Mazda Morons. Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast.

[Ben]

Josh, you asked to see somebody's phone and all of a sudden a text pops up that you weren't supposed to see. Are you reading it? Do you have self control not to read it? Do you want to read it?

[Josh]

I read it right away and I think that it was God sending me a sign that I needed to know what was up.

[Ben]

It's so funny. I don't ever want to know, ever. I'm so paranoid that it could be about me that I never want to read it. I don't want to know. If you are talking shit behind my back, that's fine on me. Just don't tell me. I live in like my own world and I like it that way. See, if somebody gives me their phone, I'm not reading it.

[Sponsor/Ad Host]

Just in case.

[Ben]

Of course I love good gossip just like anybody else. But if it. If I know for sure that it's not about me, maybe I'm reading it. But. But I don't know how I would know. So I'm not reading it.

[Josh]

Oh, I want to know. And I want to see exactly how you operate when the lights are off and no one's listening. Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the good guys. A Mother Stream premium podcast team. Make it your weekly routine. It's a good guys. And if you don't give us five stars. What are you nuts? What are you nuts?

[Ben]

Yeah, we're the good guys tonight. Claudia is the same way, by the way. Claudia is like. She finds it insane that I'm able to do that. She's like, you're. You're not gonna. You're not gonna read that. You're not gonna look at that? Like, what do you. Of course I'm reading that. No, I don't know why I'm able to do it. I'm very comfortable doing it. I think the norm is reading. Yeah, for sure, for sure. The norm is reading it. You got given this information, this juicy, hot goss, you're gonna read it.

[Josh]

Do you ever look through each other's phones?

[Ben]

I don't look through her phone. She'll occasionally look through my phone, but again, that's because, like, I don't care. I don't know. I don't care.

[Josh]

What's she looking for?

[Ben]

I think that. I think that she's just looking. I don't think she's looking for anything. But she looks like. It's like, I don't even know what she does necessarily, but she looks and Again, because me, I don't ask. I don't wanna know what she's looking for. But I don't know. Maybe she's looking to see if some creepy girls are sliding into DMs or who I'm following or. Does Paige look at your phone?

[Josh]

No, but she has full access. She. She. I leave her with my phone. She has my code, I have hers. Yeah, but I. But I assume there's creepy guys in her DMs. Doesn't Claudia assume there's creepy girls in your DMs?

[Ben]

Yeah, no. I think that there's a difference between a creepy girl in your DM and the paranoid thought that one would be talking to them or responding to them or saying something stupid. Honestly, I think that maybe she does. It's really once in a blue moon. It's like maybe once a year. And it's random. It's like the phone will be there and she'll just, like, pick it up and look around. But I don't. I don't think she's looking for anything necessarily. Okay, switching gears completely. Josh, I saw a documentary that I need you to see. I think you will absolutely love it. A friend of mine executive produced it, and it's called We Met at Grossinger's. And this is a. Grossinger's was like the number one Catskills Hotel in the early 1900s. And it is such a beautiful documentary about Jews having this amazing place to go and be together amid anti Semitism and then the black community following too, where there were those signs, it was like, no Jews, no dogs, no blacks. And black people would come to the Catskills. And I didn't even know this. They had their own havens, these beautiful hotels where they would come and just be. Be free to be normal people. The Jews and black people in the Catskills. Highly recommend Grossinger's. It was an amazing film. I think it's about to hit the circuit. I did like a little Q and A panel, introduced it, and I loved it. And I think you would love it.

[Josh]

Love it. I gotta check it out.

[Ben]

Yeah, it was really. It was really, really cool. And it was funny. He texted me, I don't know if you have a friend that does this. He texted me. He's like, you want to see this movie? And I'm like, yeah, I would love to. And then I text him before. I'm like, what time am I meeting you there? He's like, 4:45 to do the intro. I'm like, do the intro. I thought I was seeing the movie. He's like, no, you're. You're. You're hosting this Q and A with me. I'm like, okay, no problem. You could have told me. I get there, Josh. His flight's delayed. I did it alone. I had no part in the movie. I did it completely alone. But I'm Jewish. I know the cat skills. I am good on my feet. I had no problem introducing this movie to 75 people that were at the. The movie theater. But I fully. Afterwards, I answered questions with the movie theater owner. They were like, so what's your.

[Sponsor/Ad Host]

What's your deal?

[Ben]

Like, what did you like? What's your connection to the movie? I'm like, nothing. Friend of the movie. It was insane. Hysterical. But the movie's great.

[Josh]

That was so wrong of your friend.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Josh]

People are really painful.

[Ben]

Insane.

[Josh]

Well. Oh, this. You got to cut this kid loose.

[Ben]

Insane. And the best part. You ready for this? He's like, and he's one of my best friends forever. And maybe he'll listen to this, maybe he won't. But he's. He goes, I hope he's listening.

[Josh]

He needs to learn.

[Ben]

There was that. There was that crash at LaGuardia, right? So all these flights are canceled. Whatever tragedy. My flight was delayed because of what happened at LaGuardia. And I never bothered to ask him because I thought, this is just what normal people do. Did you check another airport? He's like, it never crossed my mind. See, he just waited. His flight was canceled. It got out late at LaGuardia. How about JFK or Newark or White Plains or Ice Slip or any. Like, you have to get somewhere, any airport within 50 miles. Never cross his mind.

[Josh]

I hear what you're saying. I think because you're a pretty active business traveler, as am I. I think that way. I would imagine a lot of people who aren't big travelers don't. Would never think of it.

[Ben]

I have another one, and I'm fully exposing another friend here. The great Jared Freed, who I love, who came on the podcast. He is a Delta loyalist to the point that he will take one stop flights.

[Josh]

Stupid.

[Ben]

I said to him, I'm like, this actually drove me up a wall. I was like, are you fucking crazy? He will take one stop flights just to fly Delta, even if there is a direct flight on another airline. I'm like, what kind of.

[Josh]

What?

[Ben]

This isn't loyalty. Like, how are you loyal like that?

[Josh]

Imagine this. You're in your 40s, you're single, childless, and you can get work done. Your day is not Changed by having to spend three extra hours on a plane or in an airport because you can do all your work from your laptop. If that's the case, I get it. Then I can see it outweighing because I agree with you. You can't replace your time, which is why direct flights are the best. But again it's how you spend your time. If you don't mind it.

[Ben]

If you're a stand up comic and you have to get from A to B, you need to take direct flights.

[Josh]

Like what is he getting? What is he running back to? More, more, more.

[Ben]

You know, I, I guess chillin guess. I guess that's. I guess so. I guess that's an interesting perspective. I just like for me, I need to get to A to B. I need to. That's like taking the scenic route. Like what do people go into ways and pick the route that's longer?

[Josh]

Well, that's like a big thing of like I'm trying not to do navigation to places where I know how to get there. And so yeah, I mean I think there's something to be said for the scenic route. But if you have nothing to get back to on a Sunday night after you've done two days in Dallas Fort Worth.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And so instead of getting home at, you know, four o', clock, you'll get home at seven. But ooh, does it feel good to have gotten all those points and you read and did work on the plane or not, you were gonna kick it anyway. So you just watch movies on the plane and got a Sbaro slice. I don't think it's that big of a deal, but I agree, it's meshuggah.

[Ben]

No, this is the, this is the opinion. You are clearly articulating the, the that side. I just vehemently, I just vehemently disagree. I can't possibly imagine anything more meshuggah than intentionally traveling talk.

[Josh]

Let's.

[Ben]

What about this. What about double the risk of crashing?

[Josh]

No. Cause you're more likely to die on the road and you don't think twice about jumping in your car for anything.

[Ben]

No, but I would never jump in my. I would never intentionally extend any type of trip.

[Josh]

But you take fruitless driving trips all the time. If you're like, oh, I want to go get a drink, I want to go do that. You know, like we all do. Like of course if I, if I was really. If I thought about the odds of dying in a crash in a car, which is massively more likely than a flight, I would never, I would drive so little. But I don't care.

[Ben]

Totally. I'm saying with the unnecessary extra route, you're taking the trip, right? The idea of an. Of a one stop flight when you could have easily, for the exact same price on a different airline, taken a direct flight. To me it's just an unnecessary extra flight. Extra leg. Let's remove the death piece. Okay, no problem. An extra opportunity for your baggage to get lost. An extra opportunity for you not to have WI fi.

[Josh]

He's not checking.

[Ben]

An extra opportunity for you not to have any WI fi on the plane if you wanted to get any work done. Maybe the t. Maybe the fucking flight doesn't even have a tv. You wanted to watch movies. Good luck on your second leg. Okay. Like they probably. There's probably. No, not even a tv.

[Josh]

I will say this. I had loyalty at. On Delta once for two years straight because I was doing a bunch of college gigs and then I was doing Oppenheimer. So I was flying back and forth to Albuquerque, which is a hub for Delta. I probably took like 12 flights back and forth there. Having that status was fucking incredible. And again, what are you running back to? Like if you're not running back home and you don't mind being on the plane or hanging out in an airport and where you're most likely will have WI fi, but maybe you just read again if that. If it's not an inconvenience to you to be on the plane and there's nothing to get home to, then status wins.

[Ben]

I think it's just a preference. I need to get from A to B regardless of wife and family. I'm an. I'm a nut. I'm a nut. Like I get in my car and I. I'm not enjoying the open road. I'm going from A to B. It's a personality trait. So like for me, the idea of wasting a single second traveling to each their own. Your life sounds far calmer and more peaceful.

[Josh]

My. My question to you. Removing the. The Ruby family piece. Right. Because that's always worth running back to. The question will always be what are you running to?

[Ben]

I'm running to anything but being on a plane or being in trance.

[Josh]

Okay, so you hate being on a plane.

[Ben]

I think I hate traveling. I hate traveling. I want to get there. Wherever I'm trying to go, I want to get there. I take advantage of a long flight certainly if I have to do it. I love working on a flight or watching a movie or whatever it is. But a long drive. I just want to get there. Like I'm not the person stopping for lunch. I'm driving six straight hours and I'm going to get to Montreal. If we're driving straight, like, from the city, that's me. I'm not A. I'm not A. I'm a bad guy to go on a road trip with A to B. I've

[Josh]

also just spent so many times, so much of my time trying to avoid any inconvenience or what is perceived wasted time. And I love this saying that the great gift we all have is you don't have to have an opinion about it. And the great thing is, as many times your opinion is just of the situation as it is right at this moment. But over time, what might be revealed is that thing was totally fine. Right. The good and the bad. So I'm really trying not to have an opinion on most things and just say, it is. It is what it is. Like, it's revealed itself as it should. And yeah, I just don't want to prejudge or decide whether something is good or bad for me if it just seems like a minor inconvenience at the time because it's probably an opportunity to practice a little patience and to wake up.

[Ben]

Yeah, I think it's great perspective. I definitely roll with the punches and it's a better way to live. It's a better way to live. Not being consistently agitated. There are people that I know that are consistently agitated, and let me tell you, it leads to not being able to appreciate anything around you at all. Like, I think there's a huge difference between time management and being angry when time doesn't go your way. Those are two completely different things.

[Josh]

I'll tell you another thing I hate. I hate when people do this to anyone in a service position and. Or anyone they don't know. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. It's just like, look at them in the face. Like, yeah, I see it with waiters and waitresses. I'm just like, they have a tone for people of service. And I'm like, dog out of here with that tone. Change it up, my man. Give him what you're giving me. Hey, how are you? Here's another fun one that I've noticed. Compliment people on their nails if they've got them done.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Josh]

They wanted you to see.

[Ben]

Yes, a hundred percent. Especially when they're long and pretty.

[Josh]

Oh, my God.

[Ben]

These weather special rhinestones. Those rhinestones. They're gorgeous. I love your nails.

[Josh]

Seasonal nail, ma'. Am. Is that a little Easter bunny on your thumb?

[Ben]

Yes, it is. And it's beautiful, Diane. It's beautiful.

[Josh]

I love the attention to detail. I don't love pastel, but I keep that to myself.

[Ben]

I definitely compliment people in general. Compliment people in general. And lift your head out of your phone. I know I sound like a preacher, because one day a week, I've been shutting my phone, but let me tell you, it's the best day of my week. And it's because nothing is pulling me away from the present moment, and I'm just. It's. It's crazy. These fucking phones, Josh, they're no good. And that's what it is. That person that's doing that to the waiter probably doesn't even realize they're being so fucking rude. They're on their phone, they're saying, thank you very much, and they're never lifting their head. If the phone wasn't there, they would be lifting their head.

[Josh]

It's not even the phone, bro. I think people are, like, worried of, like. They're like, but if I engage them, maybe they're gonna engage me back. And it's like, yeah. And so what?

[Ben]

A great waiter knows exactly when to pop in and out, and typically that you're gonna have a nice conversation, but they're not. Like, one in every 30 will overstay their welcome. And whatever it happened and it's over. It's not like it ruins your meal.

[Josh]

I love it. I want to be inconvenienced.

[Ben]

I want to talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.

[Josh]

I. I want to hear what your story.

[Ben]

What about when they sit down next to you? Have you ever had that?

[Josh]

I've had that once before, and it's usually a woman in her 40s who's like, now let me tell you, darling. And I'm like, it's so.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Then you gotta make it clear. You gotta be like, diane, can I get my fucking Buffalo Blast?

[Ben]

It's time to go.

[Josh]

Yeah, dude, I'll do that, too.

[Ben]

I've had that. I've had that once where they sit down. And the thing is, you. We are here to eat. So as long as the food's there, I'm also here to enjoy the company of the people that I do know.

[Sponsor/Ad Host]

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[Ben]

My wife brought it home.

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[Ben]

Terrible.

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[Ben]

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[Ben]

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[Ben]

It was fantastic. I know why he loves it.

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[Josh]

Should we get to some news?

[Ben]

I would love to. What's going on? What's going on in the world? Anything weird?

[Josh]

So much weird news. This sinister dating trend where women say men abandoned them in the wilderness has left them scared.

[Ben]

He just let. He just left her alone in the woods.

[Josh]

He said she wasn't keeping up, Bro. Can you imagine?

[Ben]

No, I can't. It's, it's, it's guys like that that just give us such a bad fucking reputation. Yeah. Like, it's just like, what are you doing, bro? Like, how do you not like, it's funny. People say it's chivalry, it's human decency. Like, are you a bad human? You don't have to be chivalrous. You open the door because you're a good human. Like, you know what I mean? You, you don't abandon someone on a hike because you're a good human.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Ben]

What a. What a nutcase.

[Josh]

I can never. Oh my God. If you abandon me on a hike. Let's, let's make a list of friendship over type things. Even if you still keep in touch with the person in your head, you know they're dead to you. That's one. What's another one?

[Ben]

I have one. And I've since forgiven him, but I was probably 22 years old and we were going from the city to New Jersey to a friend's house, and my friend was driving. He said 12:30. I got there at 12:35. Josh, he had left.

[Josh]

Hmm.

[Ben]

He left. I said, I'm running five minutes late, stuck in traffic. He left that to me. I mean, look, I'm all for being on time. There's more than a five minute grace period. There's more than a five minute grace period in the city traffic. It was principle. He's like, I didn't want to wait. I'm like, okay, well, I'm not talking to you for, like, literally five years. And now we're friends again. But that, I think that's friendship ruining. Yeah, it's fucked up. Another thing, I mean, just with travel in general, like, I've gotten better about this, not expecting from others what I do, but, like, if I'm, I know you're this way because I've done this with you. And you know I'm this way because you've done this with me. But if I'm in your car, or if you're in my car, excuse me, where do you need to go? I'll take you there. Right? Like, especially if we're coming home from a trip or something. And it's an extra 13 blocks for me to drive you home. I'm driving you home. There's so many people that drive right to their house and it's like, okay, everybody else go get in an Uber. And it used to really bother me. Now it doesn't anymore because I'm so just above it all. But that used to really bother me. That would have been friendship ending at one point. Like, I do that for you, but you can't, you can't bother to do that for me.

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[Ben]

You can't drive me home. Are you crazy?

[Josh]

I have. Oh, man. I, I, I'll tell you one thing that's just sticking in my craw. There is a. Not a famous person, but a public person. Let's just say you have people. You know, him. And I have done their podcast a few times and I have asked, and this is a person without kids, without, they're married, but they have no kids. And they, I have asked them to come do the pod twice. Both times they haven't written me back. The first time I've reached out and I've had to Do a double text, mind you. Again, I've done their podcast more than a couple of times. I have all the kids and all the jobs I have to follow up, which I hate. And their answer is always, I don't. You know, I'm just not doing podcasts this month. And literally the first time he did it, I was like, okay, all right, all right. But then you were in town and it was when we thought you were going to be in town for six weeks and you guys left after a

[Ben]

week, but nevertheless, what a week that was.

[Josh]

What a week it was. I was trying to get some people that were, that could come in while we were all in la. And I was like, hey man, Ben's going to be here for the next month. And they were like, I just, you know, I'm not doing pods this month. No kids, nothing. And I literally, I wrote him. I was like, we're done and you can get over yourself. And then I blocked their number.

[Ben]

Good. I love that. Wow.

[Josh]

I was like, it was so definitive for me. I was like, this is unacceptable. And I don't think there's malice in it. It's that I can't be friends with

[Ben]

someone so helpless, someone's so self centered.

[Josh]

It's just there. And it is a nice person.

[Ben]

But no, so no, no, by the way. No, by the way, it's not a nice person. That's not a nice person. Whether it might seem like they're a nice person, but. And for like our listeners, like when you do somebody's podcast, it's very, very understood that they'll do yours if they're free. It's a trade. Like, that's just like the way that it works. Like I scratch your back, you scratch my back. And the idea that somebody couldn't take up 45 minutes of their time to return a favor is that they're just, they're selfish. That's it. They got you, Josh. They used you for what they needed and they threw you away.

[Josh]

No good. They're done.

[Ben]

No frickin good. Oh, I like this.

[Josh]

Oh, I had another. I had a dear friend who talked to me like I cut them off in traffic, like blew up on me and threatened to beat me up over the phone. And this is like a dear, one of my dearest friends in the world and we're friends again, but I'll never be vulnerable or intimate with that person ever again. Like, I'll never drop my guard because I never want to. I don't want to get close enough to where there's a chance of him blowing up at me like that again.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah, right? 100%. 100.

[Josh]

Like you can't like that. I think some people don't know that you cannot go nuclear because the fallout, the radiation you spew, it might kill half the village. Or they're going to have a weird. They're going to have a six finger, they're gonna fart out of their mouth like something.

[Ben]

I'm dying for specifics. But yes, I completely understand what you're saying. And yeah, it's, it's not. No, it's no good. It's no good. We're not cool like that. Nobody's cool like that. Nah, dog, keep. Keep your fucking intrusive thoughts to yourself. I don't care if you think it, just stay over there. Oh, what else is friendship ruining?

[Josh]

Oh, there's so much.

[Ben]

There really are, There really are. There are so many. But it really comes down to, for me it's just like, are you, are you an egomaniac? Are you self absorbed and do you not have any self awareness?

[Josh]

Right.

[Ben]

Those are the, those are the biggest, big red flags with me. Like, do you not see the way that you treat others? And then the last one is, how are you with your wife and children as we get older, A friendship ruiner for me could literally just be your discourse. Not even with me, but with other people. Like, I don't want to be associated with you if you're going to be like that to her or to your child or you're going to be that type of dad or you're going to do those.

[Josh]

You're going to lose Ben, you're going to lose everybody. And by the way, one is a disappointing parent. Nine out of 10 people are.

[Ben]

And I, and I want you to know I think I'm cool with that.

[Josh]

I know, but you're gonna, you'll make some exception because we all. Because I'm the same as you.

[Ben]

But so, so then maybe I'll.

[Josh]

Disappointment. Yeah.

[Ben]

I have felt myself actively distanced from disappointments and it's, I'm not saying cutting these people off, but it's certainly not the same. I can't relate to you anymore. Part of being a really dear friend is extreme relatability. Right? Like the ogs of like when you really became friends with someone who has always like shared interests, like shared lifestyle and it's just like some of these fucking people I look at, I'm like, oh my God, how can you be like this?

[Josh]

I love a nice goodbye text. There's not enough.

[Ben]

Goodbye.

[Josh]

Text. Write it. Write it.

[Ben]

Paper. I was gonna say. I don't paper anything.

[Josh]

Paper it. Let me know why.

[Ben]

I just. I just.

[Sponsor/Ad Host]

Distance.

[Josh]

Give me the. Yeah, you're a. You're a. You're a finger. I don't like this. This have done that to me. And I'm like, oh, good job, dad.

[Ben]

I just. I. I just. Distance. Slowly. Slowly but surely. And by the way, maybe people are distancing from me. I don't know.

[Josh]

Nah. Now you give the terms and conditions.

[Ben]

I, sir, I certainly talk to people less. I think that's also. By the way, that's another one which I'm sure you. You have this too. Like, that friend that just doesn't understand that the life stage is just a little different. Josh. Like. Like, I can't. I can't possibly text you throughout the entire day. Like, it. It's changed, but, like, I had that, like a year ago where I had a friend who just, like, wanted to talk sports all day. It's like, dude, I have. I have a job and a life. You can't get angry at me for responding to you. Six hours later, I was working. Like, it's just,

[Josh]

man, I. I think you. I think it should be. If you're gonna end a friendship, you do it over certified mail. We need a signature. I want to make sure you saw this. Like, if you're done with me, bet, let me know and, like, maybe we'll reconvene eventually, but.

[Ben]

Yuck, yuck.

[Josh]

I eat it up. I love it.

[Ben]

Fuck you.

[Josh]

I lick my fingers.

[Ben]

Honestly, I now just want ribs. Like, I watched you lick your fingers, and now I want to go get barbecue ribs.

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[Ben]

It's a cocktail.

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[Ben]

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[Ben]

Give it a try.

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[Ben]

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[Ben]

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[Ben]

It's a great way to find your

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[Ben]

do a little more on mail?

[Josh]

Sure.

[Ben]

What do you want to do? You tell me.

[Josh]

Yeah, let's do it. Although I just want to say that Shaq denies sending Sabrina Carpenter horny messages. I've got way more game than that. But can you imagine if he does? Hello, Sabrina Carpenter. Please, please, please text me back.

[Ben]

That height disparity is insane.

[Josh]

I'm working late cause I'm on tnt. I want to hang with you so bad.

[Ben]

Dude, that would be fun. By the way, he definitely sent her messages. Who would lie about that? Who came?

[Josh]

Who?

[Ben]

Who said it? She did. She said that he did. Or how did somebody find out? Is there any more info on this?

[Josh]

I didn't read it. Did you know that Harry Potter said beefed up with serious security after And I'm sorry if I mispronounce this. Papa Asia do hit with death threats over Snape roll. You fucking nerds. Get over yourself. First of all, this guy looks super cool and like I love this reimagining of Snape. Get over yourselves. What are you. Yeah, nerds. Go on, go on Reddit.

[Ben]

It's. No, by the way, don't go on Reddit. Like, keep your. Like, like, stop it. Everybody really should stop it. This idea that you can go into somebody's place of work and do shit like this, like, or write online and pretend that nobody's gonna see, it's the same thing. Josh, is like writing into an employer. It's. I hate all of this. I hate it here. Like, it's not. It's. It's terrible. It's terrible. Letting live. Let and let live. Like, it's terrible.

[Josh]

If I was President of the United States, I would have a petty crimes task force and their only job, and I would employ thousands, okay? And they will all be federal officers and they're going to get federal benefits. I'm talking 401ks. But their job is to troll the Internet. And if someone does, even near a death threat, anything on the line, they're getting a visit, and they're getting a visit at home in the basement of their mothers that they live in. They're getting a visit at the Pizza Hut they work at, and they're getting a visit at the Dave and Buster's, which I'm sure they're at.

[Ben]

Yeah, we either do have visibility or we don't, Josh. And if we do, I'm pretty sure that the people sending death threats spewing racist or anti Semitic hate, being a fucking bully. We should be monitoring them a little bit closer. Just a little bit closer.

[Josh]

Here's my question to the out and right mask off antisemitism that I've seen recently. And I get plenty on my page. Historically, 5,000 years of written history. When has going after the Jews worked out?

[Ben]

They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't care, Josh. They don't think with rhyme or reason.

[Josh]

It's never been great.

[Ben]

No, no, it never. It never works out. But for them, they've really convinced themselves that everything in the world that's bad is because of the Jews and that they would lead a better life if Jews weren't in it.

[Josh]

And it never works out. You never go, oh, no, the Jews are in town. There they go, opening up another hospital.

[Ben]

Yeah, they hate it.

[Josh]

What do we do? We open up good restaurants and lenscrafters because none of us can see.

[Ben]

Sometimes I think it's because, like, Hasidic people look different. Like, do you look at people and you just Amish. I hate them. There's no hate for the Amish. The Amish, we just. We leave them alone. I don't know. Is it because the Amish aren't in Brooklyn? It's because they're by themselves. I really. I have no idea what it is.

[Josh]

Amish are going weed now. Boy, are they? Yeah, dog. I've been seeing it. Really markets Jebediah's Kush.

[Ben]

By the way, I. I would buy Jebediah's cushion a second.

[Josh]

Samuel Sativa. Straight out of Lancaster, my dog. This one got me lit.

[Ben]

Is it. It's approved by the church. Like, they can do that? If so, that's great. I love it.

[Josh]

Dude, have you ever seen these videos of them, like, coming out and building these gorgeous structures for people? Like, the best construction company in all of Pennsylvania.

[Sponsor/Ad Host]

Wow.

[Ben]

No, I need to. I need to do more research. They work hard.

[Josh]

They get it.

[Ben]

We need to get in business with the Amish. Josh. I'm down for Samuel Sativa. That's great.

[Josh]

Yeah. Samuel Sativa.

[Ben]

I'm in. I'm in. All right, folks. Speak pipe dead. Write in GoodGuys, podcast1, mail, dot com. We're gonna read them aloud. They're fantastic. It's so much easier for us. And they're just better, Josh. They're just better. Ooh, this one's juicy. I went out to a bar the other night with some new friends, and one of my friends casually said something about his wife. The problem is, I didn't know he had a wife. I've met him multiple times, never heard a word about it. And then later that night, I see him at the bar making out with another girl. Do I track down his wife and tell her? I'll let you answer.

[Josh]

No. I mean, you can't blow up anyone's relationship, can you?

[Ben]

It's so hard. I think that she has. I think that she has a right to know. But I also have to assume in this specific scenario, Josh, where if he has a group of new friends, unless he's just, like, lying to her, pretending that he's, like, at the office or out with his other friends. Like a guy pretending that he's single at a bar with new friends that he's seen multiple times, I feel like she probably already knows. Yeah, right?

[Josh]

Yeah. You just don't know. But I, I, I, again, I don't care. Unless you're the closest to me. I don't really care about what you're doing on the side.

[Ben]

I would probably. I would probably find if I remembered long enough, which, by the way, I won't care if I go to sleep and wake up, I'm not remembering that that even happened. And I don't care anymore. I'm taking action that night.

[Josh]

That night, Ben goes and he grabs two Zertek and he's like, choose them.

[Ben]

I need to forget.

[Josh]

Wash my memories.

[Ben]

Or deck. I need to unsee. Oh, my God.

[Josh]

It's like the pen in Men in Black.

[Ben]

Oh, my God. But, yeah, Josh, I would. I would maybe try and find someone that's closer to him and say, hey, did you know this? And validate it before I went on a witch hunt for his wife. Because maybe they're an open relationship. Maybe you never know. And yeah, certainly showing up at the wife's store is. Is not the. The right immediate approach, in my opinion.

[Josh]

Okay, if you were single and you had a friend, a couple friend, who they had an open thing, and the wife was like, totally beautiful, and she was like, I would love to canoodle with you. We've got a agreement. And you're like, huh? But he has to watch. Do you do it?

[Ben]

And in this hypothetical scenario, my wife is also comfortable with me doing this.

[Josh]

You're single. You're single.

[Ben]

Oh, I'm single. I'm single. I'm single. He has to watch. I'm in. Ew. Are you're in?

[Josh]

I'm sending him some of these in the middle.

[Ben]

Yeah, it's. I'm looking over.

[Josh]

I'm giving fingers. I'm giving them finger guns.

[Ben]

I'm looking over and making sure he's watching.

[Josh]

Yeah, Jerry, you see that?

[Ben]

You see that?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Oh, my God. Of course.

[Josh]

Checking in like this.

[Ben]

Like this. Ew. Ew. Disgusting. I'm sorry, Mom. Oh, this one's funny. I was at my friend Sarah's apartment, and she ordered us in some food. When it came, she plated everything out and fully gave herself significantly bigger portions of everything, like noticeably. I was sitting there staring at my plate, trying to figure out if I was crazy or if she was subtly calling me fat. What do you think? I think she's fat. Okay? She's the fat. So she just wanted more food for herself. That's it. I don't think she was calling you fat. I think that she was a hungry girl and she just put her needs before yours. I don't think she was calling you fat. What do you think, Josh?

[Josh]

No, I don't think she was. I think she's a big, big girl with a big, big appetite and no social skills. If you invite someone over and you're providing the Meal. Your guest gets the best cut of the meat. The seconds, if they, if they want their seconds is more important than your seconds. It's your house.

[Ben]

Right, of course. But literally you're. No, not even. But you're eating before me. I would never do that to you though. I would never be in this scenario. You come to my house, there's such an abundance of food. You are uncomfortable with how much food is left over. Like that is just me because that is my biggest nightmare ever. Like, I hate like when there is a clean plate. That gives me the heebie jeebies because I know somebody wanted another piece of chicken. I need their. And maybe this is a meat problem, but I think it makes me a great host. There needs to be six pieces of chicken left over. And then take, take some home. I'll put some in the fridge, no problem. I went through all the effort to cook. We should all eat until we're full.

[Josh]

I totally agree. And yet, like the other night, my wife and I, we get these steak. It's like from our local butchery. It's these beautiful like skirt steak pinwheels that are marinated in this teriyaki sauce. And they're beyond right really, once you cook them. You know, most marinades you kind of like don't really get much of a hit of it once it's cooked. This is like beautiful Asian y, sweet sour. And you really char this, this steak. And so the kids love it. I love it. Paige doesn't eat it. And so we got three. And assuming like one of her family members were coming over, it wound up being three extra people. So it was four people were coming over. So Paige. Yeah, but you know what? We really had enough. Like we already had like about $60 worth of skirt steak, which is a lot for skirt steak.

[Ben]

It's also just, it's also just not your fault. It's very, you can't, you can't plan for guests that unless this is a normal occurrence. You can't plan for drop ins like that at a dinner. That's really hard, that's really hard on a host.

[Josh]

And I was literally about to go out to cook it as like everyone was arriving. And Pete just looks at me and goes, go get, go get three more. Go get three more. And I get it. And I did. And I like, you know, it's down the block. It was 10 minutes and I just ran and got three more. And we were left with more than half was in the fridge in, in Tupperware.

[Ben]

But your wife is an unbelievable Host. Like, that's. That's the. That's the right move. She didn't have to do it at all. But that's. That's the right move. That's the right move.

[Josh]

Because don't you love. I know. You said it gives you the heebie jeebies. I kind of love when there's very little left over. And I'm like, it's like a game. I was like, oh, we were right.

[Ben]

It's funny, Jackie, she calls it. I think it's scarcity, intrigue. She has, like, a word that is great, where she thinks, And I've actually seen it before, that if she puts out too much of something, people don't want it. That if she puts out the right amount of something and it goes. They wanted it. And, you know, it's. It's a very interesting phenomena that the side that she puts out the least of goes first. You got a one of your nuts.

[Josh]

Yep. Our one of you nuts moment of the week are our gripes with people, places and things, both big and tall, whatever sticking in your crop. I had to schedule. My wife's. My wife has a Land Rover Defender. Gorgeous car. Beautiful, beautiful car. We love it. And so I had to schedule it for its yearly maintenance. So I get on the website and I'm scheduling her into our local dealership, and they go, what services would you like? What are you, nuts? What am I, a carologist? No, that's your job. You told me to come in. I'm scheduling. What are you nuts?

[Ben]

What are you nuts? What are you, nuts?

[Josh]

Am I a mechanic?

[Ben]

No, you're not. You don't know anything. Actually, you probably do. You probably go in there. You. Honestly, you probably were like, oh, yeah, I'd love the carburetor changed. I'd love the.

[Josh]

I assume we need a little transmission fluid. I assume there should be some scoping, you know, top me off. Top off the fluids.

[Ben]

By the way, if they're asking you and you're giving your opinion, you should be. You should be paid as a consultant.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Ben]

You're a consultant on the job. It should be cheaper. My woody nuts moment is my wife in restaurants, and she doesn't like something. Let's say it's a piece of steak, Josh. Okay, the steak comes, and I'm not talking. She didn't like the rub. That's. That's not a reason to return something I'm talking about. Let's say that you ordered an $80 steak, Josh. Expensive. And it comes and it is 90% fat. You can't eat it. Okay. Waitress comes by me, I'm saying very politely, I'm so sorry, the steak, it's 90% fat. Do you mind putting on another one? The waitress comes over to her, says, oh, how's everything? Amazing. Everything is so great. Doesn't eat, we pay for it, we go home. Nah, that's nuts.

[Josh]

It's a no bueno.

[Ben]

So sorry. What? Are you nuts, Claude? Nuts? It's a nuts habit. It's nuts. Gotta say something. They're. They should. They're not proud of that cut. Like, it's no good. It's no good. Especially with steak.

[Josh]

No good. Josh, if Claude was like Captain Planet, but Captain Kvetch, right? And she should call for the. The great Jewish women of her ancestors. For with our powers combined, I am Captain Kvetch. Like Rivka

[Ben]

Yehudis. Kaya, come down. What?

[Josh]

What is it, Claude?

[Ben]

Literally give me the strength to return a steak. She can't.

[Josh]

They all come around her. You call this steak a shunda?

[Ben]

It is.

[Josh]

That is so good. That is so good.

[Ben]

Oh, my God, Josh. The only thing better than that is this podcast. Give it five stars. Otherwise. What are you, nuts? Listen to us wherever you get your podcast, especially Spotify. I can't get over it. The Spotify video, Unbelievable. I literally went. I went the other day just to listen to the episode and I saw the video. It's so easy. You don't have to do anything good guys, subscribe. Watch the video. It's amazing. You can also Watch this on YouTube, listen on Apple, wherever you get your podcast. But Spotify, big ups.

[Sponsor/Ad Host]

What a gorgeous platform, Josh.

[Ben]

Beautiful Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time.

[Josh]

Love you, Benny.

[Ben]

Love you. Goodbye.

[Sponsor Voiceover]

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