Conor Woods (2:06)

Did you know, Josh, did you know that Celsius has energy stick packs? You can rip them open and put them in water and all of a sudden it's energy water. I Had no idea. This is the most beautiful thing ever. You knew? You knew.

Josh Peck (2:19)

Yes, bro. I. I have three kids. I know all about energy drinks and the goings ons and the heres and the two what fors. My question is, my golf boys, what is the. So they charge you to go to a golf event? From what Connor's saying, it's expensive. But is it all general admission? Because it looks a lot. Very bunching. Doesn't look like there's seats.

Conor Woods (2:42)

So it's definitely not all general admission. That said, I'd like to thank Celsius for bringing us. And now I want to talk about what a schlep the Ryder cup is. Okay, Celsius, thank you for inviting us. That said, what a schlep, Josh.

Josh Peck (2:56)

And will you explain the Ryder cup? Because I didn't know.

Conor Woods (3:00)

Yes. What a schlep. Okay, so you go there if you. I think you took a shuttle. I drove. Parking pass, whatever. You're close. Then, Josh, you get on a golf cart. That brings you to the 15th hole. Okay? You beeline for 15. Regardless of where you're going on the course, thankfully, we were going to. To 1 or 2. 18 to 1.

Ben Safer (3:23)

Such a good question.

Conor Woods (3:24)

I think we went to the first hole. But if you were going to, let's say, seven, they drop you off at 15. That's at least three miles of walking.

Ben Safer (3:32)

We walked eight at the tournament.

Conor Woods (3:34)

You walked eight miles?

Ben Safer (3:35)

We checked. Yeah, we ended up walking eight. My dad was a trooper. I'm wearing sandals for the foreseeable future because I look at these blisters that I have.

Conor Woods (3:44)

Oh, what kind of shoes are you wearing?

Ben Safer (3:48)

I'll just show you. Josh, look at that blister.

Conor Woods (3:50)

Josh. That's bad, that.

Josh Peck (3:52)

That.

Ben Safer (3:53)

I'm gonna pass out if I have my leg up like that for any longer.

Josh Peck (3:55)

That'll give you a bloody new balance.

Conor Woods (3:57)

That'll hurt.

Ben Safer (3:58)

I mean, you don't. I didn't realize we were gonna be walking so much, but.

Conor Woods (4:02)

Yeah. And so even Josh, like, we really did have vvip, but he walked eight miles. Like golf is made. Let me just say this. Golf is made for TV, okay? It's made for TV. You can absolutely sit on the 18th hole and watch as people did. But then you're not watching anything else you see. Only 18. What about 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17?

Ben Safer (4:24)

That's for the TVs inside, in the EC, in the section that Celsius had us. And it was honestly really great.

Conor Woods (4:29)

Celsius's setup was as good as you could possibly do. A Ryder Cup.

Ben Safer (4:33)

It was fantastic. That food, the food was great. I didn't eat enough of it because I had a couple of drinks and I was hugging people and I was. The pictures that I have with everybody, it's just like, I. It looks like my. I'm with my family members and I'm, like, hugging strangers. Like, I saw these tagged photos of myself, and I'm like, well, I was really getting comfortable with people, so that was great. But it was just so much fun. It was so cool. It's cool to be there. It's cool to watch it because we watched it yesterday on tv and I was like, we were there. Like, I'm looking at all of these A listers that I somehow did not come across.

Conor Woods (5:07)

Yeah.

Ben Safer (5:07)

While I was there, I was like, oh, we were all sitting so close to each other, but, like, didn't even see them. And if I'm watching it on tv, I'm like, I would love to go to that. It looks so fun. I was like, I was there yesterday.

Conor Woods (5:17)

Did you. Did you end up going to the gift shop?

Ben Safer (5:20)

Did I go to the. I spent. I spent what I would have spent, like, on the Ryder cup ticket at the gift shop.

Conor Woods (5:25)

I spent. Josh, guess what I spent at the Ryder cup gift shop.

Ben Safer (5:28)

What?

Conor Woods (5:30)

Yes.

Josh Peck (5:32)

800 bucks.

Conor Woods (5:34)

1500.

Ben Safer (5:35)

Oh, my God.

Conor Woods (5:35)

How is that possible?

Josh Peck (5:36)

What did you buy? That's insane.

Ben Safer (5:39)

I'm a.

Conor Woods (5:40)

First of all, what did I buy? The question is, what didn't I. I buy? Josh, what didn't I buy? I bought a gorgeous windbreaker. My God. Like, this is like, you know, top.

Josh Peck (5:48)

Of the lines together a lot.

Ben Safer (5:50)

Have you ever.

Conor Woods (5:51)

USA on the breast, like, really top of the line, high quality windbreaker. Okay.

Ben Safer (5:57)

Yeah, I. I know the. I know the. The gift. The windbreaker section was just packed. I couldn't even get. I was elbow to elbow. I couldn't get in there.

Conor Woods (6:06)

I bought like a. Another half zip. I bought separate it golf hats. Leisure. Okay. We separated into buckets. On the golf, I bought two polos, a half zip, and a windbreaker. On the hats, I bought two unbelievable hats, six snapbacks, and then T shirts. Claude bought a couple of sweaters. This is for me and Claude. So 1500 for two people.

Ben Safer (6:31)

Yeah.

Conor Woods (6:31)

And look, they gouged Josh. They gouge you. What can I say?

Ben Safer (6:35)

It was one of those things where it's like, you're going to remember that forever. It's not all like, I. I'm learning all these facts. Like, as we went it's not always here.

Conor Woods (6:41)

Yeah.

Ben Safer (6:42)

The fact that it was, like. It was a schlep, but it's, like, not in Ireland, you know, it was here.

Conor Woods (6:46)

Yeah.

Ben Safer (6:47)

So I did the same thing yesterday. Me and my dad walking around the city. I have my T shirt on. He has his golf polo on. Ryder Cup. Ryder Cup. I didn't realize I'm wearing a Ryder cup hat. He's wearing a Ryder cup hat. We look like the biggest dweebs on the planet.

Josh Peck (7:02)

That's nerdy.

Ben Safer (7:03)

I mean, we looked, like, genuine, like, nerds and, like, we'd never been outside before. And we go. We sit down at a restaurant. There's two dudes that definitely were in a fraternity in college. And we sit next to them. We are wearing the same hats.

Josh Peck (7:20)

Oh, yeah.

Ben Safer (7:22)

I go down. We have to go. He's like, no, I want. I want to be LT from this restaurant. So we had to sit there. Matching hats. Like, the. The loser brigade blew into town. Yeah, we went. Yeah, we went every. Like. I felt like everyone was looking at us. Matching hats. Couldn't take it off because I had, like, bed head.

Josh Peck (7:38)

I'm just imagining you and your dad at, like, Jack's wife, Frida, eating hummus. Like, sitting next to two bros from Colgate who, like, drove down and they were like, we gotta see the Ryder cup, bro. Like, I gotta. And then we gotta curse me out.

Conor Woods (7:55)

By the way, they didn't curse out Rory. Our dear friend did.

Ben Safer (7:59)

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Oh, she really did.

Conor Woods (8:03)

You see that?

Josh Peck (8:04)

What?

Conor Woods (8:05)

Heather McMahon led the. Fuck you, Rory Chan.

Ben Safer (8:08)

Yes.

Josh Peck (8:08)

Wow. That's unbelievable.

Conor Woods (8:10)

She was. She had to.

Ben Safer (8:11)

She had to step down from her post.

Conor Woods (8:13)

She was a correspondent for the Ryder Cup. Like, she was working for the Ryder cup. And apparently I haven't heard this from her. Love you, Heather. So sorry about what's going on, but hilarious. I literally. I'm reading this article. It's, like, started by Heather McMahon. Like, what? Like, Heather started the fuck you, Rory chant at the Ryder cup. While working for the Ryder Cup.

Ben Safer (8:36)

Yeah.

Conor Woods (8:37)

That takes some balls.

Ben Safer (8:38)

It took some balls. I mean, Rory definitely got the last laugh because they. He did do the. Like, Chan at the end yesterday was like, you. Did everybody see that? Usa. Like, we just did that.

Conor Woods (8:48)

Yeah.

Ben Safer (8:49)

Heather having my dad reading this article off to me at lunch yesterday while we're wearing our hats. Heather McMahon. Have you heard of her? I go, McMahon. Yeah. What happened? I didn't know about it.

Conor Woods (9:00)

Yeah.

Ben Safer (9:01)

And yes, she started that chant and it took off, and then she had to step down. She was Reprimanded.

Conor Woods (9:08)

Yeah. It reminds me of Josh. You know the story of me and the NBA All Star game, right? The sad, tragic story.

Ben Safer (9:15)

I don't.

Conor Woods (9:17)

You don't know the story? Okay, so it was like 2017. I got what I thought was like the opportunity of a lifetime as like a, a die hard NBA fan. TNT invited me. Come all expense paid interview all the players, like courtside passes, whatever, for the NBA All Star Game in Los Angeles. Killers are performing at halftime. It was like, like the time of my life. I was so excited and I was so excited that I took a picture of my credentials right before I went in. Cause I was pumped. I'm like, like, like at the NBA All Star game at tnt. Thanks so much. One minute later, your pass has been revoked. People are trying to copy it. You are no longer invited. They sent me to the 300 section and my, my dream job was done.

Ben Safer (10:01)

I remember that. I remember that. I remember hearing that somewhere. I don't know if you told me that, but that is nightmarish. Like that is. It gives me chills thinking about how this weekend if I would have posted, we didn't get any credentials this weekend, but like nightmare.

Conor Woods (10:12)

Never post your credentials. But it made me think of Heather because like this is probably like a dream job for. She loves, loves golf. Yeah, loves golf. And like before it even fudgeing starts, she was just too patriotic.

Josh Peck (10:23)

That's.

Ben Safer (10:24)

It's tough.

Josh Peck (10:25)

I have an even sadder story of doing a brand deal for that show Jack Reacher, I think on Amazon in like 2017. So they're like, it's on a boat in Long beach, right? Like they've like taken over like the Queen Mary. And I'm there with like a bunch of like, like two or three influence, like four or five influencer people. Mrs. Christy Carlson Romano. Heard of her. Kim Possible. Okay. And I'm there and I'm like literally there to do social media. Like take a photo, do a post, whatever, 10k. It's 10k. And there was this one publicist woman who fucking had it out for me. And like they didn't give me credentials because I was just with the right people. So we just sort of moved as like a small quad across this thing. She was like, where's your bracelet? I was like, hunter. I was like, I am here to do a very mediocre job at posting for this show that doesn't need my help and I'm out of here. Like, I'm not worried about it. She got me kicked out. She went so hard the whole time. Like I didn't even pull. Like I'm slightly, like I'm quasi. I'm adjacent to famous. I didn't do any of it. I was just like, ma', am, like talk to my boss. Like Talk to the 26 year old gen Z girl who's running this campaign. Leave me alone, ma'. Am. And she, she kicked me out. I finally got pushed out.

Ben Safer (11:54)

You got kicked out?

Josh Peck (11:55)

It was sick.

Ben Safer (11:56)

It was sick.

Conor Woods (11:56)

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Ben Safer (15:12)

I do want to say specifically this weekend, I could have snuck into the Ryder Cup.

Conor Woods (15:19)

Oh, for sure.

Ben Safer (15:19)

I don't know for sure. As tight of a ship as they run. I couldn't have snuck into the VIP section that tells you satisfied. But when we came in, I could have snuck in. It was not employee of the month at the. At the. At the Rider.

Conor Woods (15:32)

You could also walk through the woods. It's a golf course.

Ben Safer (15:35)

It was a golf course.

Conor Woods (15:36)

You can just walk onto any hole, pop out on i78 or whatever it is. Walk through the woods. It's not like they fenced the whole woods. You could have snuck into the Ryder Cup.

Ben Safer (15:46)

I. You could have also faked an injury and been like I need a golf cart stat because I just walked 8 1/2 miles.

Conor Woods (15:52)

I hope that people did that. Did you go to Rao's? When at the Ryder cup they had a Rao's outside. Did you see that?

Ben Safer (15:59)

I didn't. I didn't. I genuinely didn't do anything besides hang out by the open bar and then walk straight out, watch whoever was playing that hole, and then walk back into the ac.

Conor Woods (16:07)

Yeah, I didn't even walk and watch. I just sat in the ac. Josh. This was me at the Ryder Cup. We get to the Ryder cup, we're in the beautiful air conditioned room with Celsius. We're feeding Ruby a bottle. We're getting him to sleep, we're looking out, seeing what's going on, and then back to Ruby, feeding him, putting him to sleep. We went home. We were like, what the hell did we just do there? And there was a Rao's, though, Josh, that I wanted to eat at badly. They did like a pop up, I guess, where you could have made a reservation and ate at Rao's right as you walked in. Right as you walked in at that. At that sea lot parking.

Ben Safer (16:41)

I, like, feel really dumb. Well, I'm glad that you feel that way because I felt the same way. I just text my dad and I was like, hope you had fun. I had. I had fun too. Like, but it really was like, we're driving all the way out, there you go. And we were there for six hours. But, yeah, we.

Conor Woods (16:59)

Golf's really hard.

Ben Safer (17:01)

That many boxes. Like, I really kind of don't understand how we clocked in for six hours and then clocked out and what was accomplished. I think it's just really saying you've been to the Ryder Cup.

Conor Woods (17:11)

Golf is really hard to not watch on tv. I always feel that way.

Ben Safer (17:16)

But you need, like, you kind of need those experiences where you go to these things and be like, I did. I went there.

Conor Woods (17:21)

I went, yeah.

Ben Safer (17:23)

And yeah, I. That's kind of it. I kind of like that you go to something like a golf tournament, you're like, I've been there. I don't have fomo.

Conor Woods (17:32)

No, no, we went. We did.

Ben Safer (17:35)

And if you didn't know what the Ryder cup. And like, I know, obviously, like, if you didn't know, dumb it down for. For. For other people, not me. I totally know.

Conor Woods (17:44)

It's like the Olympics of golf. If there were only two territories in the entire world.

Ben Safer (17:50)

Yeah, yeah.

Conor Woods (17:51)

It's not even. It's the USA versus all of Europe and that's it.

Ben Safer (17:56)

It's like the Boston Tea Party, essentially, because it's just like, it's us versus them. And it is. I learned yesterday because I saw someone waving an Irish flag and I was like, oh, it's Ireland, too. I don't know why. It was, like, us in London.

Conor Woods (18:09)

All of Europe.

Ben Safer (18:10)

I'm pretty dumb, though. All of Europe, actually. Speaking of, I'm pretty dumb lately. I keep catching myself with my mouth just open.

Josh Peck (18:19)

Oh, same, same.

Ben Safer (18:21)

I've never had that issue in my life. I'll just be walking. I'm like, whoa. Why is my mouth agape? Connor?

Josh Peck (18:27)

This is me comfortable.

Ben Safer (18:30)

It's comfortable, but I've never been. I'm worried about how it's gonna. How it affects.

Conor Woods (18:35)

Do I do that?

Ben Safer (18:36)

No. I was just listening to you talk about the Ryder cup, and I could have started drooling. Oh, yeah, My mouth is.

Conor Woods (18:41)

Because your mouth was just open.

Josh Peck (18:42)

Mouth breathing is good for you, Josh.

Conor Woods (18:45)

You do that to counteract tmj. Do you have tmj?

Ben Safer (18:49)

Probably.

Conor Woods (18:50)

So maybe you do it to counteract tmj. This is how you loosen your jaw.

Josh Peck (18:54)

I have a Class 3 malocclusion.

Ben Safer (18:56)

Those are all words that are right right outside of my vocab.

Conor Woods (19:00)

You have any pain here?

Ben Safer (19:02)

I know I have. I have almost no pain.

Conor Woods (19:03)

Okay, so then I'm not sure why you're doing that.

Ben Safer (19:07)

I think I'm getting dumber. I think, like, the amount of screen time I've been getting as of late is actually regressing me into a little bit of a baby mentality. And I've been with my. I've been hanging out with my dad a lot, like, my parents. And when I'm with my parents, especially, like, over the summer, I spend a lot of time with my family. So they come and I see them a lot, and I regress so much into, like, I go to a restaurant. I'm like an iPad baby. I don't look at the menu. My parents kind of, like, order for the table, so I don't need to look at the menu. I'm hanging out with them. I'm in the back of the car. They're driving. I'm sitting in the back. I'm on my phone. Like, I don't do anything mentally where I have to, like, challenge even or even really think at all. And I think it has regressed me about a decade in the past three months.

Conor Woods (19:52)

Okay. All right, so what are we doing to get it back?

Ben Safer (19:54)

I bought a book.

Conor Woods (19:55)

What are we reading?

Ben Safer (19:56)

Moby Dick.

Conor Woods (19:57)

Okay.

Ben Safer (20:00)

You guys, I don't get it. I do not understand. I don't know if you guys are familiar with the work. And I'm challenging myself recently to start reading the old classics. I'm like, they're Classics for a reason. To kill a mockingbird, etc. Those are the only two that I have right now, but I'm like, they're classics. Why don't you try to read them? I'm on page seven of Moby Dick. I've had to read the same page 12 times. Don't do it. When I tell you it, it sounds made up. Oh, and it's a huge book.

Conor Woods (20:31)

Have you read Moby Dick, Josh?

Josh Peck (20:32)

Yeah, bro, I've read Moby Dick. Some of them are good. To Kill a Mockingbird is good, but, like, when you start getting, like, Dickens and Tolstoy and Dostoevsky like, it dogs. It's like, you can appreciate it, but it's too dense. Dude, treat yourself to something fun. Read Mel Robbins. Let them.

Conor Woods (20:52)

Josh knows so much about so much.

Ben Safer (20:55)

I mean, I obviously have been barking up the wrong retrieve during that spiel because, like, I'm like, oh, it's so hard. You're like, yeah, when you start reading Toll Square, I'm not gonna read Tolstoy. Like, I definitely hate my Toy Story. I don't know. I should read Toy Story.

Conor Woods (21:08)

Is that what you said? Toy Story?

Ben Safer (21:11)

No. And Josh Toll Squire. I'm gonna start talking to someone that's more on my reading level, a fifth grader and say, now when you get into Toy Story 2 and 3, Judy, that's when you start to lose me. I mean, the kid, he's grown up. He's. He's now. He's now over his toys that he grew up with. Like, these are his people, you know? And now he's. He's kind of like, foregoing what he knows. And that's.

Conor Woods (21:33)

You don't need to read Moby Dick. Josh, can you summarize Moby Dick for Connor so he can stop reading it?

Ben Safer (21:37)

No, no, don't spoil it for me. I was about to get to the good part, I think.

Josh Peck (21:41)

Well, let me ask you this, because, like, Ben, Jackie, obviously the great Jackie Ashry is famous for her Kindle addiction. And Claudia and Jackie are big readers, right? But they're reading saucy books. Like, they're reading spicy, like, romantic books, right?

Conor Woods (21:57)

Like, I feel like that's certainly.

Ben Safer (21:59)

Well, they're reading. They're reading porn.

Conor Woods (22:01)

They have a nice mix of saucy porn and Holocaust books. That is really the combination where they'll read Sarah's Key about. About a terrible event in Nazi Germany in Paris that if you don't know about. My God, they locked, like, thousands of Jews in a stadium. Set it ablaze locked it and just, like, let them burn to death. And then on the other side of it, they're reading Demon Copperhead, and like, any of these, like, saucers. So she'll literally. I don't know, she'll come back. I'm like, what's the book this month? It's literally either 3rd reicht or porn porn, which I think is a nice balance.

Ben Safer (22:40)

Yeah, I, I, you know what? Good for them. It's. It's important. Yeah. It's important to have balance. Of course, the balance of opposites reading porn. For me, there was one book I read that ended up being porn, and I was reading it on a plane, and I. I did feel like if anyone sees me reading this, I'm gonna feel like a creep. Like, I really don't understand how you go on in public. And they. I've seen people reading books and, like, I can always tell by the COVID if it's porn because it looks really romantic and it looks like it was made on Canva, you know?

Conor Woods (23:16)

Yeah.

Ben Safer (23:17)

And I'm like, okay, that's definitely a porn book because of the type of COVID it is. I can't explain. It's colorful. It's like Canva. I don't know how to explain it. And I'm like, how do you read that? And it's like a 50 shades of gray, of Gray adjacent book, and you're sitting middle seat, like, next to people getting all horned up via words, you know?

Josh Peck (23:37)

What were you reading, Con Connor?

Ben Safer (23:39)

I. I can't think of any right now, but it's. I know the. Well, no, that's. There's a handful of authors that if, if you said them, I would recognize them because Brooke, my co host of my podcast, she's a big romance, mostly fantasy romance novel. She reads like that one that got really famous recently. Demon Copperhead, Court of Thorns and Roses, I think it was.

Conor Woods (24:00)

I don't know.

Josh Peck (24:01)

Olivia are pretty fantasy. It's not romantic. Copperhead.

Conor Woods (24:05)

Which one? Demon Copperhead isn't romantic?

Josh Peck (24:07)

No, it's, like, about poverty.

Conor Woods (24:09)

She said, okay, so that was the monster. Other side. Was it. Was it Holocaust to Jason, Olivia?

Ben Safer (24:14)

I think it's like the Appalachians.

Conor Woods (24:16)

I didn't know they read about stuff like that. All right, so it's. It's poverty Holocaust.

Josh Peck (24:22)

A hillbilly Elegy way.

Ben Safer (24:25)

Is it the hillbilly elegy?

Josh Peck (24:27)

No, that's J.D. vance's book, who recently.

Ben Safer (24:30)

Okay.

Conor Woods (24:31)

J.D.

Josh Peck (24:32)

Vance, in a tweet, said, what did I get wrong, dipshit? And I was like, it's good to see we've held on to decorum. Like, what could be more 20, 25 than the VP writing dip on X?

Ben Safer (24:45)

When you mentioned that, I was like, I don't think that's porn. I don't think that one's porn.

Conor Woods (24:48)

It kind of sounds porny. No.

Ben Safer (24:50)

Demon Copperhead.

Conor Woods (24:52)

The devil's in the bedroom.

Josh Peck (24:53)

I'm getting this summary.

Ben Safer (24:57)

Oh, my gosh. You little Demon Copperhead in the sack. I don't think I should be throwing this around because I don't even know. Like, I do know that it is about poverty even. We're kind of like. We're kind of like, making it all about, like. Like, it sounds like sex. Sex work. Right.

Conor Woods (25:13)

That's what I thought it was. I didn't.

Ben Safer (25:15)

You were throwing that around. You were like third Reich and. And demon copy. I was like, that's an interesting comparison.

Conor Woods (25:20)

Yeah, no, I. I didn't know. I still don't know. So what's it about, Josh?

Josh Peck (25:27)

It's about the demon is. There's poverty.

Ben Safer (25:31)

So the demon is poverty. Here.

Josh Peck (25:33)

It explores. Demon is the main character. Yes. Tumultuous life as he navigates. Tumultuous life as he navigates poverty, the foster care system, athletic success, the opioid epidemic against the backdrop of social injustice in a beautiful but struggling. This is a big book in Appalachia. Yes, guys.

Conor Woods (25:54)

Yeah, it's.

Josh Peck (25:54)

It's a heavy one. Not a lot of romance.

Conor Woods (25:56)

It's a heavy one. Okay, so for anybody who's looking to us for book recommendations and they're looking for a saucy book, I wouldn't go with Demon Copy.

Ben Safer (26:04)

You go with Moby Dick. Not the version.

Conor Woods (26:07)

Not the.

Ben Safer (26:07)

Not the version I'm reading. But I'm sure there's a book called Moby Dick, and it's probably really fun.

Conor Woods (26:12)

It's actually called Mo. It's called Moby's Dick.

Ben Safer (26:14)

Moby's Dick.

Conor Woods (26:15)

It's called Moby's Dick. Josh, have you read Moby's Dick?

Josh Peck (26:18)

I read Moby's that dick. What?

Conor Woods (26:22)

Moby's Dick, starring Joey Kamasta. That's the book. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Mack Weldon. Folks, it's here. Summer is over. Thank God. That means we can get into our cozy sweatshirts. We can ditch the shorts, even though I do wear shorts deep into winter. But I think that's, like, a fat person problem. But I digress. I'm so unbelievably excited for fall. Cozy sweaters great sets. Everything you need and everything you need in more men is available at Mac. Well then folks, their Ace collection is amazing. I absolutely love it. The sweatshirts, the hoodies, the beautiful sweatpants. I'm telling you, they're fit. It's fantastic. It's not too baggy, but yet it's not too tight. It's just the perfect sweatpant. It really is the best, most unbelievably comfortable sweatpants I've ever worn in my life. And I love a matching set set season. They are fantastic. Again, they're unbelievably comfort, but they are stylish enough for fall. You are going to love them. They're comfortable but elevated and they come in sweatpants, shorts, sweatshirts, even blazers. Their stuff is absolutely fantastic. Mac Welding clothes are designed to fit your style and the demands of modern life. That means again, comfortable. But nobody has to know how comfortable you are. There's such incredible range from hoodies and sweatpants all the way to blazers that are incredibly comfortable. No one will ever know how comfortable you are. So folks, fall into comfort with Mack Weldon's ACE collection. Go to mackweldon.com and get 20% off your first order of $125 or more with promo code Good Guys. That's Mack Weldon.com promo code Good Guys N A C K W-E L D O N.com promo code Good Guys this episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Herobred. Folks, you know we love herobred here at the Good Guys podcast. You know we love Herobred in the softer household. Clavia loves a nice PB and jam beautiful Hero bread because it's the healthier choice. But you'd never know. You can give this to your kids. Pretend that it's white bread. They will have no idea that it's better for you because it has the exact same texture of regular bread except none of those BS ingredients. We don't want any of them. So high in fiber. And I'm telling you folks, you will not know the difference. And now you can try their all new Hero noodles with more protein and 60% fewer calories than the best selling noodles on the market. And again, you will have no idea that these aren't regular noodles. You can still make your gorgeous cheesy Mac and cheese. Maybe a beautiful fettuccine Alfredo. Who doesn't love fettuccine Alfredo? If you love fettuccine Alfredo, try putting in frozen peas. I'm telling you These Hero noodles, Fettuccine Alfredo frozen peas. Ooh, baby. It is absolutely fantastic. And again, the taste and texture, you'll never know that they're better for you. They are incredibly nutritious. Who had turned down a nutritious option that tastes identical? I know you're thinking to yourself, how is that possible? It's possible. I'm telling you. You just have to give them a try. And their product range is through the roof. Again, I mentioned noodles. They are innovating folks. They have limited edition croissants and they have noodles and they're all better for you. Hero is it? You'd never know that it's low net carb, high fiber bread. From the texture, you still get the soft, fluffy experience, you know and love. No compromises ever. Just flavor. So folks, what more do you need to hear? Hear bread is offering 10% off your next order if you go to Hero.com and use code. Good guys at checkout. That's good guys at H E R O C O Hero Co.

Josh Peck (29:46)

Let me ask, Connor, you mentioned something with the Ryder cup that I've been. Oh, I've been dying to ask you this for years, since we met originally. We follow each other on the Instagram. You mentioned there are a lot of big a listers at the Ryder cup that you didn't have a chance to meet. I notice a little something about our friend Fibula here. And I give you credit. It's something I noticed, but I give credit. If there's a deadline announcement, Connor is congratulating you.

Ben Safer (30:11)

I am. If someone's on deadline, I promise you I'm commenting. Amazing. Congrats. What I'm thinking should have happened to me.

Josh Peck (30:21)

I am so here for that. Connor.

Conor Woods (30:24)

I love the Josh.

Ben Safer (30:25)

Yeah. That happened to you, but it should have been me.

Conor Woods (30:33)

Oh, that's funny.

Ben Safer (30:34)

Like, if I, if I could just like Ursula my way and just like suck all of the accomplishments from everybody, my entire feed would be deadline, deadline, deadline, deadline. Deadline. Deadline. Variety. Deadline. Hollywood Reporter. Deadline, Deadline, Deadline.

Conor Woods (30:50)

But I'm not.

Josh Peck (30:51)

I. I'm actually thankfully. And maybe someone might, some might call this jaded because Ben is right. That probably was me for a period of my life at this point. Now I only want the announcement only because I don't want to do the job. The problem is after the announcement, you have to do the job and that sucks.

Ben Safer (31:11)

The announcement is. You're right. The best part, if you could do the announcement, skip the work and then post the awards that you win, video the work, that would be an awesome pipeline.

Conor Woods (31:26)

So let me tell you both something. First of all, we have free will. Second of all, we have ChatGPT. And third of all, we could just make up deadlines. Nobody's going to know this secret project. Just do it. Conor woods stars in Demon, Copperhead. A new porn.

Ben Safer (31:42)

Not. Safer word.

Conor Woods (31:44)

A new porn for Max. And nobody would know. Why not?

Ben Safer (31:48)

That's the thing. Like I'm commenting. Congrats. Congrats. I'm not tuning in.

Conor Woods (31:53)

You don't know what it is.

Ben Safer (31:54)

I'm not necessarily tuning in. Also, if it comes out in six months, like, I'll keep an eye out. But like there's going to be like so much happens in six months that it's like there's going to be another thing that we have to watch or read or whatever. And I can barely read, so that's. That's never going to be an option. My congrats is all I can offer. There. Did you see. I saw this this morning. Speaking of deadline articles, there's an. And chat. Cbt. There's a new actress and I'm. There's quotation marks. If you're listening. Her name is Tilly. She's AI. And there's. All of the talent agencies are fighting to sign this.

Conor Woods (32:31)

No. No entity. No. We have a new segment called having a good day. How about now? AI actress is stealing our jobs. Josh, this is no good.

Josh Peck (32:42)

Who cares? Let them have it.

Conor Woods (32:44)

They're gonna. They're gonna win.

Josh Peck (32:46)

AI's gonna win. Let them. Don't resist. Be the water, not the rock.

Ben Safer (32:50)

Be the fucking Roc.

Conor Woods (32:53)

Oh my God, is Tilly hot.

Ben Safer (32:56)

Just gorgeous object. Gorgeous, gorgeous piece of technology. This young woman. But I. Freaks me out. But yeah, Josh, I agree. It's just like it is gonna win. But should we go silently into that dark night? I don't know, like me loudly complaining even though I can't get a call back to save my life. Like maybe I should be. Maybe I should have an AI model that goes and does my self tapes for me. And then they can just AI me and do these things. They pay me half of what they normally would have paid me. Cool. And then I just hang out at the Ryder cup for the rest of my life.

Josh Peck (33:30)

This is fun.

Conor Woods (33:32)

Yeah, that's pretty awesome.

Josh Peck (33:33)

Connor. This is me as far as going into the night. Throwing. Throwing the key away. Nice and quiet.

Ben Safer (33:42)

Won't hear from me ever again.

Josh Peck (33:48)

No, Connor, I would love to hear about your self tapes because I make a lot of self tapes too. And I think people might find that Interesting, because it's kind of the new way post Covid. It's 90%. You make your own audition tapes.

Ben Safer (34:02)

Yeah, well, self tapes, you know way better than I do. But like, they, they'll email you, hey, we have a. We have a little audition for you. This person wants you to audition. Or there's a. There's a series coming out or a short film that you've never heard of and no one will ever hear of, and they want you to do some little part in it. And then you set up your camera, your phone in your apartment and you do an audition. You read these lines off and then you email it over to them with your slate where you have to say your height and then you never hear back. Basically, that's my experience.

Conor Woods (34:39)

But I've done. Josh, I have to ask Claudia to pull the video. I've done one self tape.

Ben Safer (34:45)

Yeah, I have.

Conor Woods (34:47)

I have. I'm trying to remember what the plot was. I think it was for a movie or it was for something called like meme wars or something. And I was like. It was like. It was like a cartoon about meme warriors. Thank God. I don't think it was ever made. And it was something about me guarding a wall and I had this line and I have to ask. I couldn't remember. I can't remember anything. I can't remember what I had for breakf. So the, the whole reading lines thing doesn't work for me. But it's. It's hard.

Josh Peck (35:15)

Why did you have to do a self tape for a cartoon?

Conor Woods (35:17)

Oh, this is an excellent question. Maybe it was just a voice recording.

Ben Safer (35:20)

A voice thing?

Conor Woods (35:21)

Yeah, it was a voice thing. Is that, is that possible? Was that make sense?

Ben Safer (35:24)

Was it gonna be animated?

Conor Woods (35:25)

I think so.

Ben Safer (35:26)

Oh, okay. Well then that makes it. Yeah, they, they. They do self tapes, I think, for, for voice work too.

Conor Woods (35:31)

I'm gonna ask Claude. She might still have it on her phone. And it would be wonderful to dig out of the archives. But what kind of stuff are we auditioning for you?

Ben Safer (35:38)

Like, little, like TV stuff. It's funny because every time I do my auditions, someone I know gets it now, which is kind of cool. Like, it's like, like that's why you see me congratulating everybody. Because I'm like, I also got that. Like, obviously you got the role. Like this really brilliant person that I'm kind of connected to gets it. And it's like, why did they even send this to me? That's humiliating. Because another aspect that people don't know unless you're in it is that when you send in a self tape, a lot of times like it's, it is emailed directly. But I guess there's some filing system where they put these files, these, these video auditions that are accessible to other agents and other teams. And it's not just the people like who you're submitting it, the casting agent, whoever. It's like people you know and you hang out with. And I had to do one where I. In the same tape. I had to cry. And then next scene. Freestyle rap. Yes.

Josh Peck (36:42)

And I was like, sounds like an 824 film.

Conor Woods (36:46)

No, listen, it sounds like the life of Mamdani. That's what it sounds like.

Ben Safer (36:50)

I'm having so much fun. I'm at, I'm at something, a birthday party or something. And someone goes, I saw yourself tape. I go, what?

Josh Peck (36:57)

That shouldn't happen. Connor, by the way, that's only you. That's your agent up.

Ben Safer (37:02)

That's, that's no, I'm sending myself tapes with a HIPAA agreement from now on. Like no one should be. No one. Confidentiality across the screen. No one else views this except the casting agent. And then you know what? Burn after reading.

Conor Woods (37:19)

Burn after reading.

Ben Safer (37:20)

I can't imagine my beginning self tapes when I first started doing them. And it was just like fully outside. Like there's noises happening, but there's not even a white wall behind me. Basically, like when you do them, there's all these like aspects that you need to have included in it that I didn't know about. I was like, yeah, I'll read some. I'm reading off a piece of paper. You basically like you memorize the lines. You read with somebody. Good lighting, good sound, horizontal. Just like it looks like you have a green screen. Whatever. I was outside. It's loud. Like they probably were watching. Like who the hell like let him in here? Just dumb, dumb, dumb ass.

Josh Peck (37:59)

What's hard is to. Connor's point is you have to set up the whole thing yourself. And then for me, I have to find someone to read it with me. And forever. It used to be my wife. Which 9 out of 10 times the audition would end like this. What do you think pays for this, Paige? What do you think pays for all of this? I ha. I, I. This is what I do. I ask so little. I do. I ask a lot. And her literally.

Ben Safer (38:28)

Oh my.

Josh Peck (38:28)

Yes, you fuck. Like marrying you is a fucking. It's a fucking journey like you think. No, I fucking dream.

Conor Woods (38:38)

I can't even imagine. Josh, can you imagine me asking Claudia to do self tapes for me when I ask her literally to record a one. Like, literally one second. Can you please just record me while I open the oven to take out my sourdough? Ugh, no, I, I gotten busy.

Ben Safer (38:55)

I can't imagine asking someone in a, that I'm in a relationship with to do that with me because, you know, did you not hear that the way. Why did you stutter like that? I'd be like, why? You know, it definitely has to be someone that you are work in a professional working relationship with for me because it's like, oh, no, no, no worries at all. No. Let's start from the top again, right? I like and I have to turn. I do them in my apartment now and I have to turn my AC off because it's so loud and so I'm drenched. So I'm soaking wet. We're doing the 50th tape of this thing that I don't even want but I have to do. And it's just like, I hope, like I hope something. I hope I die like Larry while we're recording this so that no one has to see it. And then I cannot do another take if we have to.

Josh Peck (39:41)

My, my.

Ben Safer (39:42)

Sorry, that's a little dramatic. I hope I die. There it is. At that point, if you're a smoker or vaper ready to make a change.

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Dating in this era isn't casual. It's strategic and emotional. And sometimes it's still feels absolutely ridiculous. Welcome to We Met at Acme, the OG dating podcast that meets you right where you're at and gives you the real rules for dating, marriage and life beyond the ever elusive happily ever after. I'm Lindsay Metzilar and I've been through it all. The apps, the ghosting, finding the one, the ring, and yes, even the baby. Expect ultra honest guest conversations, personal hot takes and unfiltered advice where I give it to you straight. No exceptions. So sit down, tune in and take notes every Sunday. Because the rules of dating may have changed, but the standards higher than ever.

Conor Woods (41:10)

Touring Jake Shane was that great? Was it, like, it looked amazing.

Ben Safer (41:15)

Yeah.

Conor Woods (41:15)

Did you have a great time?

Ben Safer (41:16)

I mean, I had an amazing time. He's obviously the best.

Conor Woods (41:18)

Yeah. And how did that come together? Like, was. It just. Was it always planned that way? Did he always need you open for him on all shows or what was the.

Ben Safer (41:27)

I did, like, I think I have maybe like even a third. He did so many shows. But, yeah, I did a handful of his shows and it was really, really great. His fans are insane. His show, like, we did Rodeo City Music Hall.

Conor Woods (41:41)

Yeah.

Ben Safer (41:41)

Which was just like mind blowing. Walking out there. That's. It's like 6,000 people or something. And I was just.

Conor Woods (41:48)

Yeah.

Ben Safer (41:48)

Doing my stupid jokes. Like, I was just. It was. It was crazy. I mean, he's. He's so much fun to tour with. I almost had more fun, like, just hanging out and being on tour with him than I did, like, doing the shows because I was just. It's just like. So it's like watching tv, like watching Jake Shane day to day.

Conor Woods (42:08)

Yeah.

Ben Safer (42:08)

So great. But yeah, it was really fun. And then I was also on tour simultaneously on my. On my own tour.

Conor Woods (42:16)

Yeah.

Ben Safer (42:16)

So that was funny to switch gears in between opening for Jake and then doing my shows, headlining my shows.

Conor Woods (42:22)

Was it the same material for both or you switched it up?

Ben Safer (42:25)

I was only doing like 15, 20 minutes to open for Jake. And that was really funny because Jake's. Jake's fans are like, who is that?

Conor Woods (42:35)

I'm actually very surprised by that. I would have expected there to be significantly more crossover.

Ben Safer (42:40)

There is. There's a lot. But Jake is just a different breed and his fans are a different breed.

Conor Woods (42:44)

But if it's who's that, then that means it was really great for you because I can't imagine there being a Jake Shane fan that also doesn't love you.

Ben Safer (42:51)

Yeah.

Conor Woods (42:52)

Which means that you probably got a lot of new fans from that.

Ben Safer (42:54)

Yeah, I hope so. They didn't follow me, so I will never know, but I hope they, like, in person. They'd be like, oh, that was that guy.

Conor Woods (43:03)

Yeah.

Ben Safer (43:04)

That's all you can ask for these days. That was. That's that guy that he. He was on stage before we finally got to Jake. He was up there for 15 minutes. I had to walk out. There was one time when I had to walk and be like, by the way, you get a middle of my joke. You guys are at the right show. Like, Jake is coming. I'm just here for like 15 while he gets. He finishes getting ready.

Conor Woods (43:22)

You were. You were warming him up. So what was that? So switching from headlining to doing that, that actually must be very difficult.

Ben Safer (43:29)

No, it was. It's great because the stakes are so low there. And there were a lot of. There was a lot of. There was a fair amount of crossover. People would buy tickets because they heard it on my page. Sometimes they'd be like, oh, yeah, we heard that you were opening for Jake. So we came. I was like, oh, you didn't, you know, whatever. That. That was rare. But it happened. But it was fun because the stakes were so low so I could have fun with his shows. Yeah, I get scared at mine, but I used to do this thing before. I understand. I understood the importance of warming war. Like openers. I would just go out first at my shows.

Conor Woods (44:00)

That's what Claude did. Claude. Claude's never had an opener once. Well, any of her shows genuinely.

Ben Safer (44:07)

If you ab test having openers and always go to a comedy, if you're going to see a stand up show, a lot of people don't get. A lot of people that come to my shows, it's their first. So they're like, if I go to a concert, I'm at dinner still through the openers and I get there like when the acts that I want to see comes out. Yeah, but people think that's the case with comedy. Always go see the openers for, for stand up. Yeah, because it's usually really, really funny. Usually. Yeah, but I was going out first and it would always bomb. And then my, my. I would go out first, sandwich. The openers would be in the middle and then I would come out at the end, which, like nobody was doing randomly because it was horrible.

Conor Woods (44:46)

And wait, you would come out first, then first for 20 minutes would come and then you'd finish first for 20 minutes.

Ben Safer (44:53)

10 minute opener. 10 minute opener, closed for 20 minutes.

Josh Peck (44:57)

Oh, that's me. And I can't believe you did that to your openers. That is so.

Ben Safer (45:02)

I know. Well, it was, it was really great.

Josh Peck (45:05)

Ready for. For Gene.

Conor Woods (45:09)

And everybody just goes and takes a while. Jean is there and then comes back.

Josh Peck (45:14)

It was the.

Ben Safer (45:15)

It was the dumbest thing I could possibly do.

Conor Woods (45:17)

Millennials.

Ben Safer (45:19)

I mean, it was funny because it was like I got to like my 40th or something show on this first leg of tour two years ago. And this girl in San Francisco, this comedian that was opening for me, she goes, why do you do that? Like, that's really dumb. She was very laid it out for me and I go, oh. She's like, no one does that because, like you're going out and These people are getting off work and coming to a comedy and they haven't. They're ordering their drinks and food still. And you're up there like trying to win them over and they're here for you, but they're distracted and they're not in the mood to laugh yet after work. And then so I started when I went, I did some shows in Ireland and in London last fall and they wouldn't let me have an opener, so I had to just go out. Well, they wouldn't let me have more than one opener, so they let me have an opener. I went out and I was like, they're ready to laugh once, once I get out there, they're like shifted gears and they're like, I'm at a stand up show. Okay. Yeah, because we do operate like that. We don't realize that that is how we operate until you see that happen. And it's like, okay, by the end of a comedy show, someone could go out and burp and walk off stage and you're like, oh, wait, I'm like supposed to be laughing right now. Like, this is funny.

Conor Woods (46:27)

Yeah, no, they're ready to laugh. I mean, at least with Claude, she would have her, like, she would like play her song. Like, everybody would get pumped and then she would go on. Like, I didn't, I never felt like she needed an opener. But maybe, like, I don't know, maybe it never hurts.

Josh Peck (46:41)

What's your rider look like, Connor, when you're doing your tour? What. What's in the green room? What are we. Is it Celsius? Are we doing brown Eminem? Oh, what are we, what are we thinking?

Ben Safer (46:51)

I didn't know I got a writer until recently. I like, for three, for two years I thought they were joking. What's on your writer? I was like, oh, that's funny. So I would just like usually have nothing. Now I do a phone charger, protein drinks.

Conor Woods (47:09)

Phone charger is a great one.

Ben Safer (47:11)

Yeah. Because then I don't have to bring anything to the comedy clubs. Can I by the end of the shows? Because it's like four hours of shows. I. My phone's dead. And if we go out, get drinks or something after I, my phone's dead after the show and I'm like, I can't get an Uber, whatever. Phone charger, protein drinks. So I stop eating so much comedy club food, which is wings and like just the most fried. It's bar food. Delicious. So I know it's. It was really good for a while and then I was like really having A stomachache every time I walked out on. And I usually wear white pants. I'm wearing white pants right now. So I would be like, I'm really scared. I'm gonna my pants on stage one of these times.

Conor Woods (47:53)

But that would have been great.

Ben Safer (47:54)

For some reason, like young women, which is most of my audience at my shows, like is really doesn't think me my pants is very funny. No, no. As many times as I tried it, I'm like, for some reason this is never landing.

Conor Woods (48:05)

I'm stunned.

Ben Safer (48:06)

Yeah.

Conor Woods (48:06)

Ben.

Ben Safer (48:06)

What would be sad, frankly, what would.

Conor Woods (48:09)

Be in my rider?

Josh Peck (48:10)

My rider is very simple. It's one thing. A Yum Kippur breakfast.

Conor Woods (48:18)

200% bagel locks, cream cheese, enough turmeric to kill a horse. Okay. We 100% need our supplements. I'm going to have some ag one, Josh. We're going to do some. What is that company? Momentous Creatine. I'm loving the creatine moment.

Josh Peck (48:34)

Fantastic.

Ben Safer (48:36)

What is.

Conor Woods (48:36)

Can you tell by these muscles that I take creatine every morning?

Ben Safer (48:39)

What is creatine?

Conor Woods (48:41)

Okay.

Ben Safer (48:41)

I also take creatine every day.

Conor Woods (48:43)

Okay. Josh can actually tell you what creatine is because he is a doctorate in creatine. That said, I will dumb it down, which just all that it is. It's really good for the brain. It makes you think and be able to talk and string words together. And it's really good for pumping iron.

Ben Safer (48:57)

Why didn't no one brought up creatine when I said that? My mouth hangs open every day now.

Conor Woods (49:02)

Yeah.

Ben Safer (49:03)

I need to.

Conor Woods (49:03)

Do you take creatine?

Ben Safer (49:05)

I do. Yeah. I take. Create creatine.

Conor Woods (49:07)

They shouldn't, you know, you should be taking momentous. This is great stuff.

Josh Peck (49:12)

This is good stuff.

Conor Woods (49:13)

It's great. We're not just saying that because they're a sponsor. They're fantastic.

Ben Safer (49:16)

Oh, they're sponsored too.

Conor Woods (49:17)

Well, they are.

Ben Safer (49:17)

These are gummies.

Conor Woods (49:18)

Yeah. Okay, that's nice.

Ben Safer (49:20)

You know what's really good? The dumbest thing that I just said that I'm getting dumber. I just thought about every. Like half of the supplements I take are candy. Yeah.

Conor Woods (49:29)

You're that guy. You're the guy who they need to make gummies for. For everything. Why can't you just take a supplement? Not in a gummy.

Ben Safer (49:36)

I don't know.

Conor Woods (49:38)

Even though shout out groons also great product. These are great products. We're living in an age of fantastic innovation.

Ben Safer (49:43)

I mean it's. Well, let me. Every time I have a new illness, lemme comes out with a new gummy for me to take. But like, I'm not kidding. I. I could go to the movies and I could bring a gallon sized bag and all I could eat. I don't even need to stop and get Twizzlers. I will take all my vitamins watching a movie because they taste so good. If you put a bottle of vitamin D supplements in front of me, I can finish that bottle. If I wasn't scared of what would happen to my body.

Conor Woods (50:09)

Yeah, I think that if you finish an entire bottle of vitamin D, I don't know what would happen. I feel like it would be bad.

Ben Safer (50:16)

Shit your pants is what I don't not say.

Conor Woods (50:17)

Well, shit your pants. Is that. That wouldn't worry me.

Ben Safer (50:21)

See that? I'm glad you. I'm glad you brought that up. It is a blessing in disguise. You're just kind of starting from scratch if that.

Conor Woods (50:28)

Shitting your pants. Yeah, I have. Josh knows this story. I was 13 years old.

Josh Peck (50:33)

I hate to tell you, Ben, but Barbara Peck has a little bit of feedback and she goes, I love that, Ben, but sometimes the poop stuff, it's too much for me.

Ben Safer (50:43)

Oh, no.

Conor Woods (50:43)

Did she hate my Kutcher story? I'm still gonna tell it. So Barbara. Sorry, I'll tell the abbreviated version. 13 years old. Kutchers. Do you know what this is? This is the Jewish Catskills. We'd all go, it's a hotel. I think that. What was that show Mrs. Maisel was made after, when they go to the Mrs. Mate.

Ben Safer (51:05)

Oh, that's. I know exactly the vibe. I mean, I'm thinking, oh, these guys are big time. They're. They're just throwing around Ashton's last name when you guys are hanging out with Ashton Kutcher.

Conor Woods (51:14)

Oh, no, no.

Ben Safer (51:15)

This is.

Conor Woods (51:16)

This is the Nebucha Kutchers. No, different people.

Josh Peck (51:19)

Kutcher. No, Kutchman.

Conor Woods (51:22)

Think of Mrs. Maisel. We go there, we're leaving. They. It's catered affairs. I ordered the fettuccine Alfredo for lunch right before we're about to leave. Okay. 13 year old Ben orders fettuccine. About to get in a three hour car ride in a snowstorm. Three hour car ride in a snowstorm. We're driving. It's icy. I'm like, mom, I need to go to the bathroom. She's like, ben, we're on an icy roads. There's nowhere around. Can you hold it? I'm like, I can hold it. I'm wearing blue jeans. We go like another 10 miles. I'm sweating, I'm screaming, mom, Mom.

Ben Safer (51:54)

Mom.

Conor Woods (51:55)

Mom. All of a sudden I. I just completely shit my pants. We finally pull over at a McDonald's rest stop. I open the door and I just feel a huge ball of shit roll down the side of my jeans and plop out right next to my sneaker. And my mother, God bless her, she's still listening to this, probably laughing. Cleaned me head to toe because that woman is a saint. Saint. She made custom passports by hand for Josh and his whole family. What was it for, Josh? Was it for. What was even for?

Josh Peck (52:29)

Are you Ben? Where are you? I had a child that you forgot was. Was being delivered on June 27th. Yes, Mother, God bless her. Sent me hips. What was it?

Conor Woods (52:42)

But she said it for five people. That's why I forgot who it was for. She didn't. Only she. This is how good of a woman she.

Ben Safer (52:48)

Fake IDs?

Conor Woods (52:49)

No, she made passport holders.

Ben Safer (52:51)

Oh.

Conor Woods (52:51)

She, like, designed them. And instead of just making them for one child, for one beautiful baby, she made it for the whole family. This is my mother.

Ben Safer (53:00)

Oh, that's special. I would have been pissed if I was the. The. The child that everyone gets one.

Conor Woods (53:06)

Exactly. So that's why she made all of them. But. Yeah. So I should make.

Ben Safer (53:09)

If I was the one that was supposed to be receiving it to be special and everyone got one, I'd be like, what the hell?

Conor Woods (53:13)

The good news is that he was one day old.

Ben Safer (53:16)

Oh.

Conor Woods (53:16)

So there's no jealousy. There's no jealousy.

Ben Safer (53:19)

Until he hears this, I'm never going.

Josh Peck (53:20)

To be the parents that Bruce and Ava softer are clearly. Because if Max at lunch and the Catskills offers Fetuccini Alfredo, I'm going to look at him a scans and go a little heavy. It's kind of a big.

Conor Woods (53:31)

I'm sure. By the way, my dad said. I'm sure my dad said something along the lines of a little heavy. And I probably gave him a death stair and had two of them.

Josh Peck (53:42)

What do you want for lunch, little Timmy? The beef Wellington.

Conor Woods (53:48)

So heavy before a car ride. It was really. That was really a. What? Are you nuts?

Ben Safer (53:52)

I mean, I'm. Yeah, I'm. I'm very wary now. Basically, like, when I go on the comedy tours now, I. I sometimes land at like, midnight places and it's. I'm so dumb that I don't plan to eat or anything. And so I got to Austin super late and I ordered Ubereats and I got shawarma.

Conor Woods (54:10)

Yum.

Ben Safer (54:11)

Really, really good. I'm trying to remember what kind. Doesn't matter. I obviously got food Poisoning. Because I ordered. I ordered it at midnight. And I woke up the next morning, and I was staying with people. So I was in their apartment, and the apartment building brought me up a cot, and they had left the room, and it was two girls, one of my. One of my buddies. And the girls left the room to go down and get coffee. And I said, finally, a man can pass gas and his cots, like, you know, now I can.

Conor Woods (54:47)

Sure.

Ben Safer (54:47)

Wasn't. It wasn't the situation at hand. It was something entirely different. And I was wearing mesh shorts. The cot was destroyed. My buddy comes out from brushing his teeth. Yucky. And says, is that. And I said, get out. He goes, is that. And I go, out, out, get out, get out, get out. I've never been. And that was. Guess what? That was a year ago.

Josh Peck (55:08)

Shitting into a car.

Ben Safer (55:09)

It was the craziest sensation I've ever had. And I apologize. I'm. I'm done talking about that instance now. But that is the last time that happened to me and I was fully an adult, so. Yeah.

Conor Woods (55:21)

Yeah, it happens as an adult. Josh, have you. You've had. Have you had. Norovirus?

Josh Peck (55:26)

Should we get to her?

Conor Woods (55:27)

What are you not. It's cutting me off. Neurovirus is bad.

Ben Safer (55:32)

I heard the story about. Did you get it too? Or did just.

Conor Woods (55:35)

No. Me.

Ben Safer (55:37)

I wouldn't do well with an illness like that.

Conor Woods (55:40)

This illness.

Ben Safer (55:41)

I would be crying.

Conor Woods (55:42)

I was crying. As you as. And then we're getting one of you nuts. I promise, this is it. As you throw up, you involuntarily shit yourself and vice versa. When it comes out of one end, it comes out of the other, and you can't stop either. It's like a fountain.

Ben Safer (56:00)

Weirdly, some. Some young woman just talked to me about this, and then I'm done talking about it too. She goes, we're having, like an adult conversation at a. At a. At a restaurant. I think she came up to say hi. She goes, I had this thing, blah, blah, and I don't even remember how this came up. She goes, my advice to you. If it happens to you, and it will. She goes, just sit in the shower for a while.

Conor Woods (56:20)

Yeah, that's smart. Cold shower.

Ben Safer (56:22)

And then when it happens, it happens.

Conor Woods (56:26)

When it happens, it happens. What are you, nuts?

Josh Peck (56:28)

Our what are you, nuts? Moment of the week are gripes with people, places and things both big and small, whatever sticking in your craw. I'll start. Connor, you have time to think about it. Ben and I. I'll give you examples. Oh, this is fun. Because this will be fun with as two very extremely successful professionals who are also influencers, as Ben and Connor are. I recently did a campaign at the beginning of the year for something very cool. I'm going to be generic here as I decide over the next couple weeks whether I want to completely drag and put on blast. This company did this social media deal for a really cool company. And as we know, there's a middleman in between the big corporations that we work with and us. Right. They broker the deals, they get a percentage of it, they set it up, they decide what the Deliverables are. An IG, real, a TikTok, blah, blah, blah. They handle everything. This company is a legit company. I've worked with them a couple times. They were supposed to pay me May 1. They're not paying now. The big corporation paid them and then they take out their little vig and then they send to me, they are leaving your boy on red. I don't know if you guys have heard about it. I think this company is big enough where it's affected a lot of our brethren in the influential community.

Ben Safer (57:47)

Wow.

Josh Peck (57:48)

In the influencing community. But yeah. And I don't. It is a. What do you nut? And I'm between a rock and a hard place here because we're going on almost six months of not paying.

Ben Safer (58:01)

Oh, that's scary.

Conor Woods (58:03)

Here's all that. I'll say. First of all, that's nuts. People running Ponzi schemes as middlemen. No good. And as I always say, it's a total Ponzi scheme. That said, if the big company, Josh, is a huge company, then I would just reach out to the huge company and I would calmly explain to them what happened here.

Ben Safer (58:23)

Yeah.

Conor Woods (58:23)

And I think they'll pay you. I think that like, if it's a huge company, like I've seen it before where a huge company will contract a group of people, there will be signed documents and all of a sudden they'll say, eh, you know, we're not doing this anymore. And they'll still pay you. Right. Have you ever seen that before? It's rare, but it happens. Like these companies have enough money to cover it. So I would reach out to them and then I would sue the other people. And if you ever get the money back, I would definitely sue them.

Josh Peck (58:51)

Should we just like, if there's anyone listening who knows about said campaign that I did earlier in the year and you know, you owe me that dodo. Let's like, let's slide a little far. Be like how many weeks we Gonna give it till we blast them on the pod.

Conor Woods (59:04)

Three weeks, I think. I think once a week Josh really wants his money. So we're going to go where you have. You have 24 hours. Okay? You have 24 hours. Yeah, until there's hell to pay.

Ben Safer (59:17)

You do your ad reads and then you do your anti ad reads.

Conor Woods (59:20)

So I love it. I love it.

Ben Safer (59:24)

It's a. It's a slight. You do. You do three.

Conor Woods (59:28)

That's really funny.

Ben Safer (59:29)

Full body ad reads. This is companies we believe in, we love their creatine. And then you do one. Watch. Count your fucking days.

Josh Peck (59:38)

Your ad reading days.

Conor Woods (59:40)

Fucks yeah.

Ben Safer (59:42)

We were playing soccer.

Josh Peck (59:45)

This is why this guy is for Jake love.

Conor Woods (59:48)

The anti ad read is genius.

Ben Safer (59:51)

We do section. Hi, guys. Okay, so we did what are you nuts? And then now we do the anti ad read section.

Conor Woods (59:56)

Speaking of not great, Josh. My what are you nuts Moment. They're at it again, Connor.

Ben Safer (60:01)

Okay.

Conor Woods (60:02)

You frequent Manhattan?

Ben Safer (60:03)

Yeah.

Conor Woods (60:04)

They're at it again. The traffic cops. The traffic cops are my what do you nuts again? And perhaps maybe it's just Eric Adams. It's the mayor's office. Whoever controls the traffic cops. Let me explain the problem with traffic cops, okay? First of all, they create more traffic. I always, I will always say this because they stand there and they have no rights. They're second class citizens. Imagine being a cop with no ticket book. But you're watching the crime. You're watching the crime unfold right in front of you. You know what happens when I see a fucking traffic cop? I make that illegal turn, I run that red light. They have no ticket book, they have no power. They have no nothing, Connor. And I'm not the only one who knows this. Everybody knows this. So you see people, they're blocking the box, they're driving. All of a sudden they're sitting right in the middle of the intersection. They're blocking traffic left and right because they know the traffic cop can't do shit. The traffic cop is a complete woody and nuts and I've had enough of it. New York City has traffic because those cops don't have full rights. If they could write a fucking ticket, there would be no more traffic. That's the case because people wouldn't be doing this shit anymore.

Ben Safer (61:06)

I don't drive here, so this is my first time not having to. I have no experience with the traffic cops.

Conor Woods (61:12)

You gotta look at them when you're in your Uber. Look to the left. See? See the men and women in the shiny neon green and watch their incompetence what are you nuts?

Ben Safer (61:22)

I haven't. Geez. Okay. I'm gonna pay more attention to what's going. The happenings of the city.

Conor Woods (61:27)

You should. You have one.

Ben Safer (61:28)

I have one. Yeah. I have a restaurant that I go to a lot, and I have my favorite waitress that works there, and I'm always very friendly. And then this last time I was.

Josh Peck (61:41)

There.

Ben Safer (61:43)

She pulled up a chair and sat with us. Yeah. And then hung out with us. And I kind of felt like this was my favorite restaurant. You're my favorite waitress. And now we've crossed a lot. Like, we've crossed a line.

Conor Woods (61:57)

Yeah.

Ben Safer (61:58)

And the manager was coming up. Hey, you have other tables. She's like, oh, no, stop. I'm hanging out with, like, my. Like, my people. And I go, now I'm looking. I'm looking pretty bad. Like, I look like I'm holding you from doing your work. And I just feel like there's some people who you love to see at your. At your places, but if I run into, like, the woman who cuts my hair at the bar, I don't really want to hang out, you know? Sure. So can you cross that line? I kind of. I haven't gone back to the restaurant yet, and I know that that might be, like, a me issue, but I, like, loved.

Conor Woods (62:28)

It's real. I don't think it's a huge issue. No, I think that's. It's nuts. She's. It's. By the way, if you. If you guys are really good friends, hang out outside the restaurant. In the restaurant, though, she. That's. It's very tough. Yeah, that's tough. All right, so what are. Are we plugging anything? What are we doing? Are we. We're just. We're just living.

Ben Safer (62:47)

We're just living. I'm just living right now, actually, if you guys want to come.

Conor Woods (62:50)

Oh, I didn't know. Amazing.

Ben Safer (62:52)

I got some dates on my Instagram fibula. If you want to come, I'd love to see you there. And I thank you guys so much for having me. I'm so glad this worked out.

Josh Peck (62:58)

Thank you for coming. Sorry for the technical difficulties, but you're the best. Appreciate you, dude.

Ben Safer (63:04)

They happen so much. And so good to see you, Josh. Virtually so low on FaceTime, and all.

Conor Woods (63:09)

I have to say is, you gotta give this episode 5 stars. Otherwise, what are you, nuts? Listen to us. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch us on YouTube, share our clips on Instagram and TikTok, follow Conor on all socials, go see his show, go to his website, buy tickets, do all the things Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time.

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