Tanning Beds, TikTok Live, and a Nightmare Dinner

Summary

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Good Guys (Dear Media)

Episode: Tanning Beds, TikTok Live, and a Nightmare Dinner
Date: December 18, 2025
Hosts: Josh Peck & Ben Soffer

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, hosts Josh Peck and Ben Soffer dive into a mix of hilarious personal stories and sharp pop-culture commentary. The main themes revolve around tanning bed rituals, a memorable (and disastrous) dinner with internet entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk, the realities and economics of TikTok Live, social side hustles, body image, and the evolving nature of professional networking. The banter is irreverent, self-aware, and filled with classic Good Guys humor, offering both laughs and genuine insights into influencer culture, parenting, and modern ambitions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Tanning Beds: Rituals, Horror Stories, and Seedy Side Notes

• Josh’s Tanning Routine:
  • Josh emphasizes he hasn't tanned in years due to aging concerns, despite “loving it.”

    “No, I haven't done tanning salon in years. And it's hurting because I love it.” (00:48)

  • He describes the tanning bed experience with humor:

    “You feel like you’re in an easy bake oven of cuteness…your endorphins are flowing.” (01:12)

  • Ben expresses anxiety due to claustrophobia and confusion about the “rotisserie chicken” nature of tanning beds.
  • The duo discusses rotating to avoid “pressure points,” where the skin does not tan.
• Seedy Side of Tanning Salons:
  • Josh recounts stories from friends who worked at a tanning salon, describing it as “renting privacy for 30 minutes,” leading to some wild finds in the rooms—hinting at both drug use and questionable behavior.

    “There’s something really seedy about a place where you can basically rent privacy for 30 minutes.” (09:12)

The Nightmare Dinner: A Networking Event Gone Wrong

• Ben’s Gastronomic Catastrophe:
  • Ben attends a high-profile dinner with Gary Vaynerchuk and is immediately struck by a bout of severe stomach distress (“waterfall of diarrhea”) just as the event starts.
  • The story is told with cringe-worthy detail and comic self-deprecation, including a FaceTime call to his wife, Claudia, from the bathroom.

    “I am shitting like I’ve never shat before in my life. I FaceTime Claudia…I can hear Gary giving opening remarks. If I can hear them, they can hear me.” (05:01)

  • A dinner guest bluntly asks him, “Where were you? You missed the opening remarks.” (05:35)
• Takeaways from the Dinner:
  • Unexpected marketing brainstorms and the awkwardness of networking.
  • Gary Vaynerchuk reportedly praises Snapchat and TikTok Live as hot platforms for creators, particularly for their reach and monetization.

TikTok Live: Modern Gold Rush or Full-Time Grind?

• Monetization Realities:
  • A dinner guest claims to have made $1M in a year on TikTok Live with just 60k followers, stunning Ben and Josh.
  • Josh notes the time investment:

    “The issue…is five to ten hours a day. Like, you have to give it so much time.” (07:06)

• Debating the Accessibility of Side Hustles:
  • Ben muses why more people (e.g. Starbucks workers) don’t try this, pondering if “you just put in the time, you can make it.” Josh counters that those truly making significant money on TikTok Live are “special” and the barrier to meaningful income may be higher than it seems.
  • They warn about over-glamorizing the influencer lifestyle and draw parallels to the .01% who genuinely excel.

Parenting, Identity, and Influencer Fatigue

• Speak Pipe Q&A (Children and Life Changes) [48:00]:
  • Thoughtful advice is given on whether to have children, focused on the myths that “your life is over” when you become a parent.

    “Your life isn't over…Aspects of your life that were completely fucking meaningless…I think are over.” – Ben (49:10)

  • Josh offers comfort:

    “90% of the pain is in the decision whether or not to do something hard.” (50:40)

  • The pair discuss how parenting fits various lifestyles, noting that joy, value, and purpose often increase.
• Body Image & Progress:
  • Candid discussion about body dysmorphia in adulthood and the struggles of seeing progress, particularly for those who struggled with weight in the past.

    “When I look in the mirror, I see nothing good…I'll see an improvement, but then it'll be cascaded by all this negative.” – Josh (39:08)

Side Hustles & Professional Networking: Modern Realities

• Networking is Overrated:
  • Ben admits to making “zero connections” at the big dinner and argues that real business is done in 1:1 coffees, not crowded parties.
• Platform Monetization:
  • Josh and Ben discuss how platforms like TikTok now offer lower barriers for supplemental income through side hustles, though with caveats about longevity and oversaturation.

Pop Culture & Notable Guests [29:58]

• Teasing the Upcoming Guest: Oz Perlman
  • Anticipation for mentalist Oz Perlman’s upcoming in-person podcast appearance, with jokes about him exposing their PIN numbers.

    “If he does guess our pin numbers…it’s live on the pod, like we’re fucked.” – Ben (30:13)

• Celebrity Encounters:
  • Discussion about actor Jesse Metcalfe (with stories about ex-girlfriends and seeing him at an NBA game).
  • Ben meets NBA star Jalen Brunson, marvels at his unexpectedly smooth hands.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Reflections on TikTok Hustle:

  “If you want to make [money], why aren’t more people…going on TikTok Live?...Is it simply consistency? ...if you, if you need an extra thousand dollars a month…is it as simple as that?” – Ben (18:08)

• Parenting Insight:

  “What am I missing? I’m missing sleeping in, I’m missing rotting in bed…I’m not missing being outside…I just love being in constant movement and kids allow you to do that.” – Ben (49:10, 52:16)

• Body Image Humor:

  “I want you to look like Nick Offerman. Like a strong lesbian.” – Josh (40:22)

• On the Seedy Side of Tanning Salons:

  “Len said he used to find some wild shit in these rooms. Drugs, …Oh yeah, wow.” – Josh (09:12)

• QVC Pitch:

  “We could sell anything. I'll sell melanomas on QVC…I’m digging.” – Josh (61:44)

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Important Timestamps

• Tanning Beds Deep-Dive: 00:39 – 11:14
• Ben’s Nightmare Dinner (Gary Vaynerchuk): 03:59 – 06:36
• TikTok Live & Monetization Discussion: 06:46 – 24:43
• Body Dysmorphia & Personal Progress: 37:47 – 40:10
• Teasing Oz Perlman the Mentalist: 29:58 – 31:11
• Parenthood, Advice on Having Kids (listener Q): 47:25 – 54:27
• QVC & Product Pitch Comedy: 42:32 – 44:29
• Celebrity Exes & Jesse Metcalfe: 34:40 – 36:07
• Random News: Tom’s River Police Story: 31:31 – 34:21
• What Are Ya Nuts? Rants: 56:07 – 63:33

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Tone & Style

True to "Good Guys" style, the episode mixes sincere reflections with outrageous humor. Both hosts toggle between self-deprecating anecdotes, industry insights, and off-the-cuff riffs (occasionally explicit), keeping the show energetic and relatable for millennial and Gen Z listeners. The language is casual, irreverent, and sprinkled with Jewish cultural references, pop culture nods, and New York vibes.

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Final Takeaways

• Don’t believe the networking hype—sometimes “brainstorm” dinners are just that (with extra bathroom breaks).
• Parenthood isn’t the end—it’s just a new, in-motion chapter.
• The influencer grind is real; true outsized success requires both time and a “special sauce.”
• Body image struggles don’t disappear, especially for those with a history of weight struggles—but progress is possible.
• You can turn anything (and everything) into content…even CVS touch screens and cancer survivor golf attire.
• The Good Guys promise: If someone’s selling it—be it skincare or a meltdown story—they’ll find a way to make it hilarious, heartwarming, and unfiltered.

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For more laughs (and the occasional life lesson), tune in Mondays & Thursdays. What are ya, nuts?

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a dear media production.

[B]

Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the Good guys. A mother's dream premium podcast team. Make it your weekly routine. It's a Good Guys.

[A]

And if you don't give us five stars.

[B]

What are you nuts?

[A]

What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys.

[B]

They're not the great guys. We're just the good of the good guys. Muscle morons. Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. Here we are.

[A]

Here we are. Josh, you are looking sun kissed. I don't know if you were at the beach. I don't know if you were at the tanning salon. I heard you were at the tanning salon. Are you back at the tanning salon?

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm so worried about aging that I can't believe I am. No, I haven't done done tanning salon in years. And it's hurting because I love it.

[A]

Is it so I've never done it before. One, I feel like I'd be claustrophobic. Two. Does it feel like you're in. Does it feel like you're just, like, getting burned?

[B]

No.

[A]

Does it feel. No, it doesn't. You don't even know.

[B]

No. You feel like you're in an easy bake oven of cuteness.

[A]

It's just like a warm. It's just like a warm hug.

[B]

Yeah, bro. You feel refreshed. The only problem is, is that you kind of want to have a moment with yourself in there because you're all naked and warm and your endorphins are flowing and you're like, I could do something to myself right now. No one would.

[A]

Ew, Wait. I'm now thinking, Josh, so when you. When you're in a tanning salon and you're. You're on your back, obviously it only tans the front, and then you have to flip over.

[B]

It's a rotisserie, bro. You don't want pressure points.

[A]

Is it a rotisserie chicken? It is.

[B]

Yeah, boy. You have to. You have to turn around because you don't want pressure points because wherever your body pushes on the glass, it's like your own little private red light district where your body pushes. You can get a pressure point, it's called. And you won't tan there to dead give away.

[A]

But is it. Is there a rotisserie chicken element where it's automated or. This doesn't exist.

[B]

No, you are the rotisserie. So you have to move.

[A]

Like, okay, you have to move.

[B]

I usually go 10 minutes orbit bed. I'm not nuts. And I'll start out, and I'll do. I'll do about three minutes straight, and you gotta, like, you know, you gotta be, you know, wary of things. And then I'll start, like, minute four and five. I'll kind of do, like, a one of these, right? So I'll start getting those crevices. And then you hear a beep at the halfway point. Boop. And then I'm going to the other side. And then you just want to keep moving. You got to keep moving.

[A]

Got to keep moving. All right. I'm probably never going to try it just because I really am. I get very claustrophobic in tight spaces when things are close to my face. It's the one thing. I don't know what it is. I'm just always afraid that I'm not gonna be able to get out. I see a video of a guy climbing, like, through, you know, those, like, little holes? There's, like, a cave, and there's, like, a beautiful pond below, and he goes through that little hole in the cave. I actually can't breathe even watching that. Yeah, it's like. Like, what if you get stuck? Can you get stuck in a tanning bed? Does it lock?

[B]

No. I mean, no. It's pretty much. It's. It just closes, but it's open at the head and it's open at the feet, so it's just kind of like. It's like a human hoagie, you know?

[A]

Oh. Oh. It's open at the head. So how do you tan your face?

[B]

It's not open in the sense of it's just a bed and then a curved thing that goes over like this, but the top of your head, like, this area is open, and you know what I'm saying?

[A]

I do.

[B]

It's a cylinder. It's like you're in a paper towel roll. Older.

[A]

Yeah. Love it and love it. That's a great comparison.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

All right, well, I've learned something this morning. I hope you all have as well. Josh, I have saved this story. I wanted to call you immediately after it happens because I knew you would love it, but I save it for the podcast. So this week, I was invited to a dinner. An old boss and friend of mine, Gary Vaynerchuk, he said, come to this entrepreneurs creators dinner. Ooh, that'd be an album.

[B]

That'd be a quick no for me. That's a quick no. I'd be like, I'm 20. You, Gary, 20 people.

[A]

Josh, wait for this. And we're sitting down. OK? And it turns into, honestly, one of my favorite things. It's like a marketing think tank. We're just like brainstorming, talking, whatever. And Josh, the second that we all sit down, the second, oh, my God, my stomach is in fucking knots. Knots, Josh. And again, this is a very tight, one big, long, 20 person table. I get up, I excuse myself, I go to the restroom right near the table. And let me tell you, this is like fucking norovirus. Everybody turn off if you don't want specifics. I am shitting like I've never shat before in my life. I'm having like a waterfall of diarrhea. I FaceTime, Claudia. I'm like, I don't know what to do.

[B]

I literally hear your wife on the pot. Yes.

[A]

I literally FaceTimed her. I'm like, claudia, I don't know what to do. I hear Gary giving opening remarks. If I can hear them, they can hear me. And I am literally, I'm fighting for my fucking life. Okay? Ten minutes go by, I go back to my seat. I'm thinking, okay, hopefully maybe nobody noticed. It's fine, no problem. The woman across from me literally looked at me dead in the eyes. She said, where were you? You missed the opening remarks. Lady, can you mind your own fucking business?

[B]

Okay?

[A]

What do you mean, where was I? Are you tracking me? What do you, what do you mean, where was I? Obviously I was in the bathroom having an explosion and the rest of the night ended up being lovely. But my God, Josh, it was horrible. Horrible.

[B]

You'd be like, ma', am, this isn't a think tank for World War II, honey. We're at Gary Vaynerchuk's influencing dinner. Oh, am I not going to be able to think of the next prime because I missed the opening remarks?

[A]

But my apologies, especially because I was having chronic diarrhea. But what I took away from it. Josh, you are way ahead of the curve with Snapchat. Gary said, Snapchat is it. He said, he said the chat, Snapchat. There's like unrealized views. And the second thing that he said, or unrealized awareness. The second thing he said was TikTok live. I'm never doing it. I can't do it. But he said, TikTok Live is the best way to gain TikTok followers. Fun fact, I believe that.

[B]

I know there's a lot of money in TikTok Live and I had a lot of friends who were doing it. I mean, Jason Nash was pretty much paying for his life through TikTok live for years.

[A]

There was a kid next to me, modest following. Like young aspiring fashion designer from Toronto. Told me he made a million dollars last year on TikTok Live and has.

[B]

60,000 followers because I think it's concurrent viewership. The issue. And I've heard this from every single streamer I've ever met. It's five to ten hours a day. Like, you have to give it so much time.

[A]

You know, it's a full time job. But if you're making a million dollars. I was just shocked by the number. That was all so very interesting. Had horrible diarrhea. I don't know what gave it to me.

[B]

Stop saying you said it. Once our followers get so headset with this talk.

[A]

Oh, please. Then they can put in earmuffs. Okay. Into the head explosive. You didn't want. I had an explosion, okay. Oh, please. It's not as gross as me thinking about you jerking off in the tanning booth.

[B]

I eluded, I hinted, I hinted, I eluded, I elude and I hint. That's the name of our new pod. Hinting and eluding.

[A]

We are disgusting. Oh, how is. How's your week? How's your weekend? How's the fam? Give me an update.

[B]

Everything is good.

[A]

Wait.

[B]

I feel like we've moved on too, too quickly from anything else I wanted to say about tanning salons.

[A]

Tanning salons. Yeah. Let's pump back my east coast, my west coast.

[B]

Ben Len, for many years historically worked at Suntans to Go, the valley's premier suntan place, where our, AKA my secret place with John Stamos. He goes because.

[A]

Suntans To Go.

[B]

This place.

[A]

Nice name. Nice name. Suntans to Go.

[B]

Shout out. Tommy, the owner, he goes in every day for eight minutes. He's like, you never know, would you? I'd go, Tommy, we know.

[A]

Tommy. You look like a cherry. We know Tommy.

[B]

Sound like a paper bag when you move. But, you know, it was interesting because Len and his older brother Gary both worked there and they said there's something really seedy about a place where you can basically rent privacy for 30 minutes.

[A]

Right?

[B]

That's what you're doing. You're renting privacy. So people did crazy shit in those rooms.

[A]

Oh, so it's a private room. The way that I thought about it, it's just like a lineup of beds. But that's not what it is. You have a private room. It's kind of like a massage, except there's no masseuse. It's just you. Yeah.

[B]

And like at Suntan's to go. It's like one of those Thai massage places where they just, you know, use the curtain. So it's basically a very cheap piece of drywall. But the ceilings are all open so you can hear everyone and it's, you know. And yeah, you have a little stall and it's only wide enough for the bed to fit in because you have to get undressed. So it's not communal. But Len said he used to find some wild shit in these rooms. Drugs eliciting. Oh, yeah, wow.

[A]

Somebody going in for a quick tan and a bump of blow. Imagine doing a bump a blow and then gutting baked to 160 degrees. I would have a panic attack and die. That's how I would die. Imagine you find me dead blow on my face in a tanning booth.

[B]

I think the drug addicts were foregoing the tan, but I agree with you. It would be funnier if they were.

[A]

Doing both, by the way. That makes sense. That makes sense. That makes sense. That's logical. What am I thinking? If they're going in for a tan, they don't need the tan. They just need the room to do all their sneaky stuff.

[B]

Spider Mike.

[A]

I'd get a tan, I'd book a room, you'd come in. I'm making a sandwich. I just needed somewhere to film. Oh, do you think you can use the tanning bed to toast a hoagie? Like, is it that level?

[B]

Ben's having his fan mail sent to Sundance to go on 74th in Amsterdam, room seven, care of Ben Safa.

[A]

It's my office.

[B]

Claudia kicks you out and she's like, you can only shoot in the Santana Emporium.

[A]

I'm in. I'm in. I can think of worse places. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Mint Mobile. Folks, you know you don't have to let big wireless and your overpriced phone bill suck the joy out of the holidays this year. Because right now all of Mint Mobile's unlimited plans are 55,0% off. You can get 3, 6 or 12 months of unlimited premium wireless for just $15 a month. It's their best deal of the year and makes it really easy for you to give your expensive wireless bill the Scrooge treatment. Folks, Mint Mobile's best deal of the year is happening right now. Get a 3, 6 or 12 month unlimited plan for just 15 bucks a month. All Mint plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest 5G network. You can bring your current phone and numbers over to Mint. No contracts, no nonsense. Folks, I'm telling you, this is the best deal out there. If I was in need, okay, if I was in need to switch wireless carriers, this is. This is the best deal. This is the best deal. Do you have terrible service? Are you always getting dropped calls? Are you looking to have a cheaper plan? Mint Mobile is literally here. It's absolutely fantastic. Call them, talk to them. You can figure out how much you're saving. Fifteen bucks a month. I mean, this is a great deal. And you can bring over all your contacts. There's no contracts. I mean, this is it, okay? This is it. Turn your expensive wireless present into a huge wireless savings future by switching to Mint Shop Mint unlimited plans at mint mobile.com/goodguys. That's mint mobile.com/goodguYS Limited time offer upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 months. Plan required $15 a month. Equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only. Over 35 gigabytes of data when the network is busy. Capable device required. Availability, speed and coverage varies. See mint mobile.com for details. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Ollie. Folks, you love your dogs. I love my dogs. Okay? You love your pets. I don't love other pets. Okay? I'm just going to be totally honest. I'm a dog person. Started with Theo. Rest in peace, my King died at 7. Cancer. It was terrible. Like, what the hell was that? But now we have Romeo. He's about to turn two years old and he's absolutely gorgeous and I love him so much. And of course, we all want the absolute best for our dogs. If you want the best for your dog, do what I did and switch to Ollie. They offer fresh protein packed meals with real human grade ingredients. And they offer five tasty recipes, all slow cooked for top nutrition folks. First and foremost. Okay, let's talk about the food quality. These are human grade recipes backed by vet nutritionists and crafted with culinary experts. Dogs love the taste. Even the pickiest of eaters will show more excitement. Mealtime, it's a better experience. Okay. This is food tailored to your dog's needs, tailored to your dog's tastes. Pre portioned for your dog as opposed to. Oh, what should I give him? Half a cup of kibble. Oh, he's not eating it. Oh, he ate the whole bag. Oh, every dog is different. That's why you need Ollie. And it's one of a kind technology. We're talking about an app that offers on demand health screenings. I mean, where else can you get that for your pet? You care about your pet, okay? You care about your pet, so use Ollie. I care about my pet, so use Ollie. That's it. That's it. Romeo, let me tell you, the pickiest eater you've ever seen in your life, okay? He literally the complete opposite of Theo. Maybe Theo was just feeding the cancer. I have no idea. Theo would eat everything in sight. Romeo, you put out half a cup of food. Nothing. Nothing. He would go. At one point, he went 24 hours without eating. He just isn't that hungry. Or so I thought. And then I switched to Ollie. All of a sudden he's eating. Maybe he just didn't like that crap. Okay. Your dog's well being starts with their food. And that's why Ollie delivers fresh human grade food that your dogs will love. Head to ollie.com goodguys tell them about your dog and use code goodguys to get 60% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus they offer a happiness guarantee on the first box. So if you're not completely satisfied, you'll get your money back. That's O l l I e.com goodguys and enter code goodguys to get 66.0percent off your first box.

[B]

Now, like, and I actually really like Gary Vaynerchuk. He's always been very nice to me and I know he was a good boss to you. Do you get any. Do you walk away from that dinner feeling like I made some good connections, I learned some things. This was worth my time.

[A]

I made zero connections.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Zero. Okay. And that's always how these work. Like, I actually, I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, remarking on this dinner who's also a personality. And he said how much he hated them. And I said, yeah, if you really want to get a buyer's attention, that's not what this was. Like, if you want, like if a brand invites you to a holiday party. He's like, I'm never fucking going to that shit again because it's not worth my time. And I said, yeah, you should just ask if you can take the brand, the buyer, to a cup of coffee for 30 minutes. Like, if you want that relationship, there's a better way to get it than in a room with 100 people where they're expecting you to go and promote the brand for free or whatever. That's not what this was. But yeah, I didn't. I didn't make any connections. But I like being in brainstorms. Like, I find it. I find them very interesting. Like marketing brainstorms, talking shop, hearing other people's. Even if a lot of it's like, bullshit and fluff and you hear people taking themselves too seriously. Like, I still. I still find value in those types of conversations. And hearing people, like, hearing that kid talk about how he made a million dollars on TikTok Live with 60,000 followers was just an inspiring thought. And then simultaneously, you see Starbucks workers protesting to make more money, which everybody should make a living wage, but. But it just had me thinking simultaneously, like, why aren't more people who need money going on TikTok live? It doesn't have to be 10 hours a day. Why aren't they doing it for two hours a day? And maybe they just don't have the cojones to do it, but if they did it for two hours a day, this kid was. I don't wanna, like, be mean. He didn't seem like he was anything special. I think he just put in the time. He did it every day.

[B]

I think you're underestimating.

[A]

You think so?

[B]

Yeah, I think you. If you're making a million, if you're making a couple grand, if you're making a million, it means you're special and you've got something and they're devoting a lot of time to it. And I think what people like Starbucks workers are saying in all the people in that position, is that if this job exists, it's valuable, like making someone's coffee every morning. It exists. We've not yet been replaced by robots. Clearly there is a human need. And if there's a human need and this job matters, then I should make a living wage.

[A]

I think that totally what I meant. I completely agree with you. What I meant was, I don't know why, like, not. I don't know why anybody works at Starbucks when you have the ability to be on TikTok Live and probably make more than $18 an hour. That was my thought process, not the million dollars. But how hard is it on TikTok Live if you dedicate three hours a day to. To make $60,000 a year.

[B]

I don't know. How do you think it is? I don't know either.

[A]

I don't know. I'm wondering if it's simply consistency. And if you work at Starbucks, especially if you're like. A lot of them have very bubbly personalities. These baristas are very, like, I'VE become friendly with the ones near my apartment. They're always very bubbly. They always ask where my dog is. They'll play with my dog. They remember my name. They're just like nice, personable people. Wouldn't you think that that would lend itself to a live format on TikTok Live selling Ali gummies? I'm not saying that that's a better life. I'm just thinking like, it's just very interesting. Or is it supplemental income and maybe people are already doing this. Like if you, if you need an extra thousand dollars a month. I'm not sure how hard it is to do that via a TikTok Live if you just are willing to put in an hour a day.

[B]

I think so. I mean, I do wonder though, for people like the beautiful Ruby for Max Scheimeyer, we were sort of at the inception of influencer culture and creator culture. Right. And I wonder if already I'm hoping, I don't know about you, I really hope my kids don't go, I want to be a creator when I grow up. I don't want. And I think that our job will like everything else. There will be the 1% of people who crush it and make a really good living with it, which we've been thankfully, knock on wood, lucky to be a part of that for a couple years. But like, I think mostly people will look at that job as any other job eventually. Like, there's a big barrier to entry and.

[A]

Right, totally. I think though, it's. I think that we're entering a very interesting moment in time where like side hustles are very much appreciated. Side hustles are encouraged as long as they don't come at the expense of your actual job. Like for example, the creative director at Spritz Society. I recommend him all the time. When people call me, they're like, hey, do you have somebody that can design? He worked on Good guys, right? Like, I'll always recommend him to someone. I know that he's not putting that work ahead of the work of his full time job. But I'm using that as an example that somebody who works at Starbucks that needs more money. I'm not saying that Starbucks shouldn't pay them a living wage. They should. In the interim, the Walmart employee, whoever it is, while we're trying to solve these macro problems and make these major organizations pay their employees fairly, it seems like we're living at such a special moment in time where you can easily have a side hustle on these apps where they're paying you like the barrier to entry for a Google AdSense or for a YouTube AdSense, excuse me, is really high. It's so hard to monetize a YouTube platform, but on TikTok it feels like the barrier to entry is so much lower. Like if you post every day for two months, you're going to get 10,000 followers and I think that's like the barrier. And then all of a sudden you can make money. That's more what I'm saying.

[B]

And do you think. And then we can move on from this. But it's just interesting to me.

[A]

Like I find it interesting.

[B]

What would you do? And Olivia, feel free to chime in. I think the way that you're able to start doing streams for hours at a time is that it stops feeling like clocking in and out for work. But more so like I really like video games and I don't mind if people spy on me for three hours while I do it or I really like cooking. I don't mind if people are with me for the four hours I'm prepping, cooking and plating.

[A]

Yeah, it's funny as you say that it couldn't be me. Yeah, I would have an issue with that. It could not be me.

[B]

Cause you would say you would cancel yourself within the first five minutes probably.

[A]

Or I would be so self conscious or I'd move slower or I just don't know.

[B]

But like with Bert Kreischer where we did the two hour podcast with him on Something's Burning. And by like hour two, Ben and I are looking at each other of like, well, it was nice knowing you. We're going to be kicked out of show business after this. With what we just like Ben's like, did I forget Obama's black? I'm like, I don't know. But like I think you get exhaust. I would bet you a couple days in you would get too exhausted to self filter.

[A]

I think so, right? I think I would be. I think I would be absolutely exhausted. I couldn't do it. I am wondering though, like everybody gets a lunch break, right? It's an hour lunch break. You see these creators eating in their car all the time. There's a very specific type of person. But I'm just thinking if you went live and maybe that's a miserable existence at the one hour you have free a day, you're going live. But if you went live in your car, eating your lunch, talking about your lunch, I don't know, like is it as simple as that to make again an extra $500 a month, which would equate to six grand a year, which is meaningful.

[B]

Olivia.

[A]

Yeah. No, I couldn't have somebody smoke.

[B]

You don't need any extra money. We know, dear Media pays. What would you do? I.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

If I could go live on my lunch break, I. Working in West Hollywood, there's always, like, something going on outside. I would just go outside, I think, and, like, just, like, see what some of the people in the park are up to. There's always something weird going on in the park. Yeah, I could do that. Or, like, you know, Ben, your idea of just, you know, eating your lunch on live. I could try this experiment. I could try this.

[A]

Do it for a week and see how many you should try. I think you should try taking your lunch, like, going live for 30 days. I would love to. Honestly, I'd love to know. I feel like people would watch that. They love mukbangs. Like, why wouldn't they watch that? I'm sure people are already doing it. Yeah, but, like, you're eating and you're free lunch with. You're eating alone. Yeah.

[B]

And you get a fun lunch.

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

You know what?

[D]

I think this is a good idea. I think let's all do it.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, sure. The problem is I eat most of my lunches walking on the street. So I don't know, like. Like, I literally, right before this, I went and I went to Chipotle. I got sofritas, whatever their vegan situation is, which are actually very delicious. White rice, those grilled vegetables, little bit of cheese and the salad dressing. And I ate a quarter of it because that's all my stupid zepbound stomach will allow me to do. I ate a quarter of it walking on the street in 25 degrees, by the way. People would probably tune in to watch me do that, but I don't know how. I can't hold the phone. I would need, like, a walking. A walking, like, selfie stick.

[D]

You need, like, an apparatus. Yeah, that's, like, attached to the waist.

[B]

It's 40K. I've researched. It's called the satellite pack, and it gives you amazing reception all the time. I was lucky enough to hang out with a streamer named Extra Emily the other day, and she told me about the. She's like, I just use my droid phone, but you could totally get that pack for 40 GS. Shout out.

[D]

Extra Emily.

[A]

Emily.

[B]

Yeah, I did this. This Hulu show with her that my friend, the great Albie Hecht is producing and directing, and he was like, Will you come for a day? And it was her and this other guy named Dan Rhodes, who's this amazing YouTube magician. I was like, I am with my people. I'm guys, I'm Gen Alpha.

[C]

Let's go.

[B]

It was fun.

[A]

This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Vital Vitamins. Folks, let me tell you, okay, a little bit about Vital Vitamins. Since 2018, Vital Vitamins has delivered over 4 million no nonsense supplements. They are trusted by over 400,000 customers to help them look better, feel better and age better. All of their products are thoroughly researched, rigorously tested and made in, you guessed it, the usa. Usa. Okay, we all want to get younger. That's the big story. Okay, we all want to get younger. Sure, you can say you want to get younger, you're getting older, Jan, you're getting older. But perhaps, perhaps if you get the age defying bundle from Vital Vitamins, which includes multi collagen complex plus, brain booster plus, NAD plus, maybe you'd be on the right track. I'm not sure. You got to try it for yourself. I'm just saying, the reverse aging bundle is it because we all want to look good, we all want to stay sharp, and we all want to age as slowly as possible. And with multi collagen complex plus brain booster plus and NAD plus, we are healing the cells, Vitamin C, beautiful skin, all the stuff, everything that you need. And consistency is key. You can't just take it once, okay? You cannot just take it once. You need to take it all the time, every day or whatever's prescribed on the bottle. There are so many people that I know that are like, oh, I tried turmeric for a day. No, you got to try for three months. And then all of a sudden your life will take change. Vital Vitamins is offering my listeners 20 to 0% off all orders with Code Good Guys at my Vital Vitamins. Calm Vital Vitamins is offering again my listeners 20% off all orders with Code Good Guys at my Vital Vitamins dot com. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Warby Parker. Folks, I love Warby Parker. I've been wearing them for years. You know, my green glasses that I wear sometimes, even though now I wear contacts because I'm trying to be a cool school kid. Those green glasses, Warby Parker, they're absolutely fantastic. And let me tell you, let me tell you, it used to be such a pain in the rear. Pain in the rear, shopping for glasses. You know why? Because you go into A pretentious store. They're all too expensive. Then you lose them. Then you're like, oh my God, I just spent 800 and I lost my glasses. Haha, no. How about you go to Warby Parker, spend less money just in case, God forbid you lose them. You can get another pair. But also these, the people that work there are not pretentious. This is a lovely experience with gorgeous glasses, high quality. I'm telling you folks, Warby Parker changed the game. Their quality through the roof, their ease. It couldn't be easier. They have 300 plus locations across the US and Canada where you can get styled by one of their friendly expert advisors. Keyword is friendly. They're not stuck up like these stupid other places. And they are affordable, let me tell you. We have eye exams starting at $85, glasses starting at $95. You're telling me you're blind? Okay, well, not actually blind because if you're actually blind, you can't have glasses. You're pretty, you're pretty close to blind. Okay, you need an eye exam. You can go in for 85 bucks. You can then get glasses for 95 bucks. You can go from not seeing to seeing for what, $170. 180 quick math. 170. Yep, that's right. 95 and 85 is 170. 170. From not seeing to seeing or be Parker. Unbelievable. So folks, Warby has over 300 locations to help you find your next pair of glasses. You can also head over to warbyparker.com goodguys right now to try in any pair virtually and they have Sick Tech. That's warbyparker.com GoodGuys warbyparker.com Goodguys Speaking of YouTube magicians, I think we need to talk about the guests that you booked who's coming out later this year because I really. It's going to be so exciting. I don't know what he's going to do to you or what he's going.

[B]

To do to us.

[A]

Excuse me. Because we're going to be live in person together. But my God, Josh, you want to tell them who, who's coming on the pod for us in person?

[B]

The great mentalist Oz Perlman.

[A]

Oh, like, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Like the second that Josh booked him, texted me, he's like, I'm really nervous. He's probably, he's going to know our pin number and that's the.

[B]

How is he?

[A]

How does he do this? And by the way, if he does guess our Pin numbers. It's live on the pod, like we're fucked. And then all of a sudden, that guy that emotionally mugged me for $20, he's going to get a lot more than 20.

[B]

He's going to be running up bills in Tom's River.

[A]

He's going to buy Tom's River.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Did you hear about the Mentalist?

[B]

And no, I can't wait. I feel like we've been on the Oz mentalist train for like a year now trying to get him booked, but it didn't work out scheduling wise. Of course. Now he's getting white hot because we're always before the trend. And so when I reached back out, he's like, oh, I'm really busy, blah, blah, blah. And I said, oz, come on, I got receipts. You know that I was in really early and he was like, you're right. I'll see you on Monday. So. God and a yid Raz Perlman.

[A]

Thank God. Thank God. Wow. Mentalist. Unbelievable.

[B]

We know that.

[A]

I need to know how he. I need to know how he does it.

[B]

It's that Jew. I know he does it.

[A]

The power of Hashem God in his veins.

[B]

He does Jew sorcery S O C and bend his Jew sorcery S A.

[A]

U C.

[B]

Oh, should we get to a story?

[A]

Yeah. What's going on in the news?

[B]

Speaking of Thomas river randomly, did you hear about that woman who was a police officer at Thomas river who like barged into her boyfriend's apartment and like basically ruined her life?

[A]

No.

[B]

Here, let me look. I'm just gonna google Tom's River. Lady cop. Let's see if Google's okay. New Jersey cop who smashed, who smashed an ex's front door is seen ranting and cursing the cops who came to arrest her in her new video. I just effing snapped. A crazed New Jersey cop bashed in her ex boyfriend's front door with a baton. Can be seen in a newly revealed video of her arrest admitting that she fucking snapped and telling officers that she would burn your house down. Next, former Toms river police officer. I'm just gonna call her. Rebecca, 32, who was banned from law enforcement for life over the jealous rampage lashed out at the cops who came to bust her during an unhinged curse filled rant in April. New body cam footage reveals. Yeah, she lost it and she's not allowed to be a cop anymore. And she was cute, cute, cute and really sorry.

[A]

Rebecca, what happened? Like, what did it say? Like what he did? Like if she snapped, she must have snapped at something.

[B]

Oh, he wants to sit here and have some random effing bitch in here with all my belongings. Rebecca said, referring to her ex's new girlfriend. He's saying she's gonna move in. Get the F out of here. She raged when police ordered her to come with them. She refused, shouting, no, we're gonna go when I get all my stuff. Give me a second.

[A]

By the way, I'm with her.

[B]

Yeah, right. Kinda.

[A]

I'm with her. And it sounds like, again, I don't know any details beyond what you just read to me.

[B]

Oh, and then she said, at least my hair's nice today. Rebecca can be heard saying, is police load her in the cop car.

[A]

Oh my God, that's funny. Like I need to know more of the story. But like, when the guy keeps the apartment or the house that was shared, it always just gives me the heebie jeebies. Like, like you're really kicking your, your ex wife out of the house and then she's gonna watch your new girlfriend with all of her shit. Like, I would probably lose my mind too. I'd be very upset. Like, imagine, imagine, Josh, the reaction of a Paige or a Claudia if that happened. They're out of the house. We have new girlfriends in the house and they are literally sleeping in their beds. Like sheets that they picked out, drinking coffee from their mug. They would have a fucking conniption.

[B]

I. It's not even. You can't even think about the reverse. I don't know, I think I would just have to. I would just grin and bear it. I just go to. A lot of you would have a conniption, Josh.

[A]

You would have a. You would freak out if you came back to your house and it was Paige and it was Len.

[B]

Jesse Metcalf. Okay, that he did that with my first girlfriend. Oh, no, I told you this story.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

I dated a girl, my first girlfriend, and we dated for like a year and a half. No shade on Jesse Metcalf. Shout out. Good for him. He didn't do anything wrong. And. And at this time in my life, like, I'm young and so like, people would always be like, oh, you're like the less good looking Jesse Metcalf. I'm like, I see. And we broke up. And three weeks later I get a call from Len's ex girlfriend, who was his girlfriend at the time, and she goes, oh, I'm so sorry. And I go, what? She goes, go on Perez Hilton right now. And it's her leaving Lucky Strikes on Hollywood and Highland with Jesse Metcalf.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

Shout out him. Good for him.

[A]

I just want to make sure I have the right person in my head. That's John Tucker Must Die.

[B]

It is.

[A]

What are the chances, Josh? What are the fucking chances that I'm at the Nick game last night and who's the celebrity? Front row.

[B]

Front row.

[A]

Jesse fucking Metcalf, Front row. They gave him front row.

[B]

Good for him.

[A]

No, I'm just saying what are the odds of that? Jesse fucking met kaf. It seems like we need to have him on the show. He's invited.

[B]

Any open invite, by the way. Open invite. He's on Hallmark, he's basically living the life I want.

[A]

He is. Also, he's a very handsome guy. I know him from John Tucker Must Die and then of course, Desperate Housewives, where he is the. The gardener. Love interest of Eva Longoria. Gabrielle Solis. Yeah, he. He was front row. Couldn't believe it. Also, just. And we'll talk about this more in depth another time. I met Jalen Brunson last night. Wow.

[B]

And did he live up to all your hopes and dreams?

[A]

Yeah. And let me tell you in, like, the least gay way possible, his hands were so smooth. You know when you shake an athlete's hands and they're typically calloused, is they play ball?

[B]

Sure, of course.

[A]

They work smart, takes care of himself. And I had met his lovely wife before, but I met her again and it was just, it was wonderful. We went to, like, pregame, shoot around, and I got to meet Jalen Brunson.

[B]

If he's wearing. If his hands are that smooth, does that mean he's wearing gloves when he lifts weights? Because there's no, no cool way to do that.

[A]

Fingerless. So I don't know what it is. I'm telling you, it was. My hands are more calloused than what I felt. Smooth as silk.

[B]

Because my hands, Olivia, my hands are callous. My hands are.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, well, you're.

[B]

Well, you're a bodybuilder. Nine pull ups at a time, Okay? I start at nine a go down right away, go to six.

[A]

You're a bodybuilder, so that makes sense that you're calloused.

[B]

God. God bless you. How's your hands, Olivia? Perfect. She's got perfect hands.

[D]

I have little calluses on the tips of my fingers from playing guitar, but, like, you can't really see them.

[A]

That's pretty rad.

[B]

She is. She is rad.

[A]

It's pretty rad. Josh, how big are you trying to.

[B]

Get well, I'm not. I don't think I'm big at all. Like, I'm not. Do I look bigger?

[A]

No, no. But when I saw you, honestly, you. You're starting to get the shoulders of, like, the most fit man in America. Like, you're getting big. I. So, like. So I asked the question again. How big are you trying to get?

[B]

I have such body dysphoria. Dysphoria.

[D]

Dysmorphia.

[B]

Dysmorphia, yeah, dysmorphia, Sorry, dysphoria.

[A]

Someone should make dysmorphia.

[B]

Is dysphoria a thing to have dysphoria? Is it, like a condition? Gender dysphoria? Ah, that's what I have.

[A]

Body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria.

[B]

I like that.

[D]

Dysphoria, I think, is, like the. The like, mental or, like, how you think, like, feel or think. And then, like, dysmorphia is, like, you see it differently. Ah, yeah.

[B]

I like that though, man. Dysphoria. That could be our show. That, like, it's not on. It's on, Max. And instead of Euphoria.

[A]

Woman in My Heart. Yeah.

[B]

Sydney Sweeney's on it, and she just thinks she has small boobs.

[A]

It's funny.

[B]

I don't know. You know what, dude? I don't see a freaking thing. When I look in the mirror, I see nothing good. I mean, like, I'll see. I'll, like, see an improvement, but then it'll be, like, cascaded by all this negative that I see that it's like, I can never tell progress or anything. I should take photos. But then I feel weird doing that too.

[A]

No, no, but photos really do work. I. I'm obviously similar. Anybody that has ever been fat in their life, I think. I think everybody deals with this where other people can see your progress again, no matter how far away from it you are. I think it's just always in your brain. Like, I think once I. If I took a picture of you and showed you, I feel like you would see it more than you looking. At least that happens with me. Like, when somebody takes a picture of me and shows me, I'm like, oh, I'm actually, like, pretty. Pretty thin. You really look in her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're thinner versus, like, again, yeah, I look in the mirror and I look less lesbian than normal, which is great. Says you. Yeah, true, true. I wish I looked more like a lesbian, but now I need to look like, just like a strong lesbian. Like before, it was just like that, like, fat lesbian, which Like, I just don't.

[B]

Yeah. I want you to look like Nick Offerman. Like a strong lesbian.

[A]

Okay. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Krusty's. Folks, Krusty's is here to make it easier and more delicious than ever to celebrate those holiday moments. I am telling you, whether it's a cozy breakfast, a festive treat, or a simple way to bring everyone together, Crusty's is the perfect companion for memorable holiday moments. I love Crusty's. You guys know that already. I've been cooking with them a ton. I just made the most gorgeous. You ready for this five layer cake using their sweet cream pancakes. Let me tell you, I baked them in the oven because I wanted perfect circles. Okay? And I did layer one pancake, layer two vanilla pudding, layer three whipped cream, homemade whipped cream. So easy. Put heavy cream in the blender. Literally turn it on, throw in a little bit of sugar and vanilla. Absolutely fantastic. I laid down some chopped bananas, sliced bananas, I laid down some wafers, and then another pancake and I stacked it high. And let me tell you, this was the most delicious. Is it a dessert? Is it breakfast? I don't know. It was through the roof. And folks, the holidays are here. Which means more cozy nights in and more time in the kitchen and more opportunities to bake up something delicious for those you love. Crusty's. Is it these mixes? I can't make pancakes from scratch. Better or more delicious than the box. It is so easy. Do you know what I put into the pancakes? Do you know what I put in water? Water. That's it. It's so easy. It's so easy. Literally all of their mixes are like two or three ingredients or less. It's fantastic. I absolutely could not recommend their product more. It will make your holiday more festive. I'm telling you. Crusty's mixes allow for stress free holiday baking without compromising on taste and quality. So, folks, make this holiday season a little easier and a lot sweeter with Crusty's. Pick up your favorite Crusty's mix wherever you shop and start creating memories one batch at a time.

[B]

Should we get to a speak pipe? We could do a moron mail.

[A]

I would love to hear from the morons. Moron mail.

[B]

Just as a random fun thing, we have been reached out to by, you guessed it, qvc.

[A]

Really? Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Do you want me to. Do you want me to play the message?

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

Hi, Josh and Ben. My name is Christina All. I am a buyer at QVC and I love listening to your podcast. I just wanted to drop you a little note and I think you guys would be great on qvc. We can get Rich Society on the queue. And Josh, maybe we can even get your book on qvc. I work in the home innovations category and would love to talk to either of you or both of you. Also, side note, QVC is based out of Westchester, Pennsylvania, not Connecticut.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Details, details, details.

[A]

I was when you said Westchester, by the way. So in. She must have seen us on Amazon Live. Ok? Clearly she saw our natural ability to hawk anything. Ok, Anything. You want me to sell sports? Sell Sports Society and Josh to sell his book? That's too easy. Okay, we're going to sell. We're going to sell the hardest thing. Whatever you can't sell at qvc, let us try and sell it, okay? We're like Jordan Belfor. Sell me this pen. No problem. It's done. What does the pen do? Doesn't matter. It's how it makes you fucking feel.

[B]

I'll sell you bad credit.

[A]

Yeah, that's right.

[B]

I'll sell you a 490 credit score. I'll be able to convince you 100%.

[A]

Because you know why, Josh? It could always be worse.

[B]

First of all, bad credit score is beautiful. You get to pay in cash.

[A]

It also means that you don't have to pay back those bills. Like if you're just down to have bad credit. You ran up a credit card bill to 100 grand. As long as you never need good credit, you're good. Yeah, you just schooled them.

[B]

Or if. Dude, if you have seven years to burn fat bq. Get out.

[A]

Get out. Great. So yeah, qvc. We are frickin in. I absolutely love it. It was a really genius move by her to submit a speak pipe because now we're talking about qvc. This is genius. Christine, I'm all in. Put us on the Late Night Hour. Okay. Me, you and Robin Bird will sell thongs. I love it.

[B]

Yeah. QVC After Dark.

[A]

Do you think Robin Bird's dead?

[B]

Probably still with us. Olivia's checking.

[A]

I think Robin Birds did. Olivia. Robin Bird was an exotic dancer. Is she dead?

[B]

I love that. That song by the Beatles. Ramen Bird, fly. Robin Bird telecasting in the Dead.

[A]

Before Yoko Ono, there was Robin Bird.

[B]

Robin Birds on TV in the dead of night. Ben's playing with himself.

[A]

And it's not all right.

[B]

It's not all right.

[A]

Dude, every time I look this up, I just keep getting pictures of. Yeah, honestly.

[B]

Honestly.

[A]

Don't look anymore. Don't look.

[D]

Dead birds.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Just keep showing me the bird. Oh. Oh, that's bad.

[D]

Robin Windsor. Would that be the, like, actual was.

[C]

It.

[B]

Was.

[A]

Oh, yeah, okay. It was channel 45. In the middle of the night, you turn it on, you'd see maybe a breast, and you'd see a big bush. That was the Robin Bird Show.

[B]

Good for Robin.

[C]

Okay, okay.

[D]

I'm on the Wikipedia. I think she's still with us. 68.

[B]

Good for her.

[D]

68.

[A]

She's only 68.

[B]

She's killing it.

[A]

I feel like she was 68 then.

[B]

Nah, Robin's. Robin's been good for a while. Wow. Full name, Robin Cohen. Wouldn't you know. Shut up.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Dude, we are. We are hilarious.

[B]

She did look like one of our mother's friends.

[A]

Yeah, we are hilarious. That's so funny.

[B]

Dirty bird.

[A]

Yeah, I'm in qvc. As long as you're down to clown. We're in.

[B]

Next one is from Anonymous. Oh, by the way, while this is resetting again, guys, we don't want your Woody Nazis. We really want to keep it brief. Brevity is key. Feel free to go to speakpipe.com goodguys if you want to leave us a message and get some advice. But that's it. They don't listen, these people.

[A]

That's it. They don't listen. No, no, they don't listen.

[B]

All right, next one's from Anonymous.

[C]

Hey, good, guys. I'm hoping you can give me some advice from a man's perspective from. For backstory. I'm 32 years old, and I've always been on the fence about whether or not I want children. I like the idea of some aspects of having children, but I've just never really been fully on board. I guess I'm more worried at this point that I will regret not having a child more than I think I actually want one. My husband's never really wanted them, but we had a big discussion before we got married, and he agreed that if it was something I decided I wanted, we would have one. And I'm at that age where I'm starting to feel that ticking clock of it's now or never, before it potentially becomes more difficult to get pregnant. I actually did get pregnant this past summer, and it ended in a miscarriage, which was. Honestly, it was pretty traumatizing. And I don't know if I have it in me to try again and again if it turns out it's difficult for me to bring a baby to term. It's also hard that everyone always talks about kids as having to give up the rest of their lives. And obviously you guys talk about how much you love your children. And I guess I'm wondering what surprised you the most about becoming parents. Were there things you were worried about beforehand that were actually more manageable that you thought thought they'd be with a kid? Were there things that were more difficult than you thought? I know that they say you'll never be ready either way, but at this point I'd appreciate any and all advice. Thanks.

[A]

Wow, this is a wonderful speak pipe, first of all. So take notes. I'm so sorry about your miscarriage and that's terrible. And I do hope that if you decide to have a child again, that that doesn't happen. What I will say. And then, Josh, you're more of an expert on this than me. The main, the main thing that I want to definitely correct is your life is not over when you have kids, Aspects of your life that were completely fucking meaningless, I think are over. Like sitting and doing nothing, I think maybe is over. I think what you get, at least what I've gotten from having kids, is like such a deeper purpose and joy than I think I've ever had in my life. Like, I, I, like, what am I missing? I'm missing sleeping in, I'm missing like rotting in bed. I, I'm not missing being outside. I'm not missing going to things. Like, your life isn't over. Like your life changes for a couple of months, but like now that Ruby's sleeping, like babysitter comes seven o', clock, Claudia and I will grab dinner. Like if I wanted to go and do something more than that, we could, like, it's definitely important to have a strong support system, so hopefully there's somebody who can help you or you're able to afford a babysitter or something like that to keep a little bit of the things that you find important. But I don't know, for me at least, again, it's very early. Josh, I'd love your opinions because you've had kids and more kids for much longer, but I've only felt that it's a value add. It's a life changer, but it's only changed my life for the better.

[B]

Yeah, I agree. And I don't think that you need to feel pressure to have kids. Like whatever's right for you is right for you. More will be revealed. I feel like if you just. There's a great phrase in recovery of like, we were amazed before we were halfway through. And I have found that in all things. Like, to me, the. If I could give you, like, a graph of it, the pain of doing something is. 90% of the pain is in the decision whether or not to do something hard.

[A]

Totally. Right.

[B]

It's the anticipation, the projection. Is this going to be rough? How is it going to change? Blah, blah, blah. And then when I finally just grin and bear it and go, enough already. Let's just go. Let's do it quickly. I am rewarded with relief and realizing that it's not as hard as I expected. So I think that that applies to either way, to having kids or not having kids.

[A]

And.

[B]

Yeah, look, now having three kids, I've certainly had to mourn a little bit of things. I think now with three kids, more than just having one. Any semblance of my old life has passed for now. But again, I'm fully invested. I get so much nachos, as our Jewish clan would say. So much pride in these kids. And it's a worthwhile pursuit and it continues to be. And I have fun and I like kid shit. So it works great because I don't feel inconvenienced by being at the trampoline park at 11 on a Saturday. While some people would rather be brunching.

[A]

I think it's significantly easier for dads with add.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

I honestly, the way that I'm so excited to take Ruby out of the house and walk anywhere, just because that's. I think you're the same way. I just love being in constant movement and kids allow you to do that. Versus, like, when it was just me and Claudia, and I'm like, I want to go for a walk. And she's like, I don't want to go for a walk. Stay here. Now it's like, oh, no. Go for that walk. Even if I'm staying here.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Which has been. Which is great. One thing that I want to make sure isn't happening to this lovely lady is don't let other. The same way that Josh said, if it's right for you, it's right for you. I totally agree with that. Don't let other people scare you into not doing it, though. There's nothing worse than parents that project their feelings onto other people. Your life's over. Like, it'll never be the same. It's like just. That's creating fear. It's exactly what you said. Everybody's experiences are different. I'm not saying that your life isn't going to change. People are happy when they don't have kids, and people are happy when they do have kids. People's lives are fucking miserable when they don't have kids and they're miserable when they do have kids. Like, it's not necessarily related to the kids. Sometimes it's just related to the person. And any person who tries to scare you out of not having kids with their own personal experiences I think are just like bad for your decision making process.

[B]

And by the way, does any wife want to go on a walk? Do you ever want to walk? You like to.

[D]

I do. I do like to walk.

[B]

You're still in the girlfriend stage, I don't think.

[A]

I don't think any wife likes to go for a walk.

[B]

Like we're generalizing. I. I realize we're generalizing.

[A]

Not one woman wants to walk.

[B]

My wife rarely has no interest in a walk. Let me. She's like, it's gonna be cold out.

[A]

Claude is. Claude is a. An interest in like a once a week walk. A Saturday walk.

[D]

Yeah, I love a Saturday.

[A]

I want to. If I could walk, I would walk everywhere. Every day. I would.

[B]

The only thing podcast.

[A]

Me too. Yeah, me too. We should have a walking podcast.

[B]

I know.

[A]

We call that the.

[B]

The History Hyenas. Chris Sevano and Johnny will do a walking pod.

[A]

They do. Mm. Oh, good for them.

[B]

We could do it really quickly. This is just a random speak pipe, but it's worth listening to from Wonderful. Carrie. What's up good guys?

[C]

Big here. Husband's a. And raising a future same age as Meyer and Ruby. I think you guys are solving world peace because I guess at Bravocon, Andy Cohen was asked who he would reconcile with first out of three people he famously does not talk to anymore. He said that he was emailing back and forth with Kathy Griffin just that week, and I think your guys episode with her had just dropped a few days before, so. Coincidence?

[A]

I think not.

[C]

Keep it up.

[A]

Bh Bh.

[B]

Now that.

[A]

Love you.

[B]

That's a speak pipe. Carrie.

[A]

That's superb. Superb, superb, superb, superb, superb, super. What are you nuts?

[B]

Do you speak French? Wow.

[A]

Wow. Holy crap.

[B]

That's cool.

[D]

I got a certificate in it, but that's about all I can like throw out.

[B]

Was there a big French scene in Dayton?

[A]

No.

[B]

In Cincinnati?

[C]

No.

[D]

That's part of why I can hardly speak it anymore.

[A]

That was pretty good. It was a great accent.

[B]

I know. Sounds so good. Like Timothy.

[A]

Timothy Le Pew.

[B]

Timothy Chalame before Woody and Nuts. I thought I could give us a great. How about now? Ooh, a little something I got cooked up. Did you know that Isaac Newton. Hey, you Having a good day? Did you know Isaac Newton created the laws of gravity, the laws of optics, invented calculus by 26, but died a virgin. How about now?

[A]

Wow.

[B]

How about now?

[A]

Holy crap.

[B]

You could die a virgin. You can still die a virgin and do the dopest shit.

[A]

Do the dopest shit.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

All right. Having a good day? How about now? How about I'm not anymore? Josh, you've ruined it.

[B]

You want another one?

[A]

Yeah, give me another one.

[B]

Having a good day? Hitler, now it's proven, had a microphallus and one ball, which means if he was more hung, maybe he wouldn't have cooked 6 million of us.

[A]

How about now? Wow.

[B]

I thought.

[A]

Wait, was he the one with the micro penis? I just heard somebody else had a micro penis, too. Was it Hitler? It was Hitler.

[B]

It wasn't me.

[A]

I think there was. Somebody else had a micro penis. How do they know that Hitler had a small penis?

[B]

I just. Listen, I. I don't question science. Bobby Kennedy, get out of here.

[A]

Yeah. How do you know? How do they know? Fascinating. Fascinating. I have so many. What are you, nuts? Is like, this week was like, I have a million. I'm not going to do more than one. But this week was absolutely nuts, Josh. Or what do you announce? Moment of the week, or gripes with people, places and things both big and tall, whatever's sticking in your car. I went to CVS to pick up more minoxidil for my gorgeous head of hair. And I'm waiting in line and I get to the front of the line, everybody. It's cold and flu season in New York. These people in there are sick as dogs. You hear coughing and sneezing and masks, and you have the signs Covid flu shot. It's six season. You get up to the front of the line, Josh, and there are these big screens where you're now with your hands typing in your name, your date of birth, and then it fills into the system and tells you if your prescription's ready or not. I watch the woman in front of me sneeze into her hands and then touch on this screen, and all I have to say is, what are you nuts? Having a touch screen operation during cold and flu season at cvs. There was nothing wrong with going up to the counter and saying to this employee who's still there, by the way, she's still there. Just now monitoring the touchscreen. She's still there. There was no issue. Last name Safer. First name Benjamin. Date of birth? Wouldn't you like to know?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Like, there was nothing wrong with it. And now, Josh, I'm convinced that I have a tickle in my throat from touching the screen that the woman who definitely had the flu got you.

[B]

Get your minoxidil prescription. That's all I could think about.

[A]

I. I do. I do. It's free. Free. Free with insurance, Isn't it otc? I don't. It's a good question. I think it's OTC up to a certain level, and then I think it needs to be prescribed. And if you want to not have it covered by insurance, you could just go and grab it, whatever, but. Yeah, that's right.

[B]

It's great.

[A]

Five mgs, baby. Five mgs.

[B]

I'm glad that insurance is covering hair replacement and not, like, cancer meds.

[A]

That's somebody else's problem. Right? So I have another. What do you. Nuts. I'm doing a two for one. What are you nuts? Because you brought up cancer. Okay, you ready for this?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Even though I gave away the punchline, I'm playing golf last week with my family friend, dad. My best friend from when I'm 14 years old and his brother, and we're on the putting range, and my friend's dad turns to this guy who's putting. He's wearing a hoodie. It's a little chilly in Florida, which means it was like, 60. And he's like, great, great that you finally got a chance to wear your hoodie. Hey, man. Like, it wasn't a good joke, but he was just, like, saying. Making, like, a light joke about the guys. He's wearing a hoodie. The guy turns to him and he says, I'm wearing this hoodie because I've just survived melanoma for the third time. I wear this hoodie because I'm a cancer survivor. Put his head down and started putting again. I felt like I was shot in the chest. What are you nuts? I don't even know who's the one that's nuts. The whole thing was nuts.

[B]

This is not. There are better ways to protect from the sun than a hoodie.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Don't go outside.

[B]

Get a bucket hat, Bernie.

[A]

Ooh, I like the bucket hat.

[B]

Love it. Get a bucket hat and some SPF 90.

[A]

You fuck you.

[B]

Don't set me up like that, walking around like that Eminem impersonator.

[A]

You. Fuck you.

[B]

I would have looked at him dead in the face.

[A]

Thank you. I'd be like, he's the one who is nuts.

[B]

I would have said, it's a shame.

[A]

Because he tried to make him feel so bad. I felt Terrible.

[B]

Like melanoma. Who asked?

[A]

The guy was such a dick. I'm so happy that you see it the same way. By the way, you can have cancer and still be a dick.

[B]

I'd be like, is the cancer the reason why you're on a. On. On your ninth shot, you lose.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

I. Too bad the cancer didn't take your arms so that you could be played, you loser.

[A]

Well, we just lost qvc.

[B]

That was it. No, that. I don't care, man.

[A]

By the way. On qvc. On qvc. We're going to sell hoodies.

[B]

We could sell anything. I'll sell melanomas on qvc. I'm digging.

[A]

I love that you turned it into an Italian dessert. I'll take three melanomas.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Sounds like a cookie.

[B]

It sounds like a Hanukkah treat. I'll have the sufgaot, the melanoma and some rugalach.

[A]

I'll take the jelly filled melanoma. You got a. One of your nuts?

[B]

My woody nuts is. Look, if you're in a. In a row and someone needs to go by you, be it on a plane, at the theater, at a sporting event, whatever. Get up. Don't do that. Don't do this. This is not good. This is not good. Just stand up and say, yeah, go for it.

[A]

Don't do it. Stand up. Don't do this.

[B]

No, it's not good. Stand up.

[A]

At the same time. If you've purchased a seat in the middle of a row, just do your best to limit the amount of times that you get up. Yeah. Be courteous. Okay. If you have a bladder problem. Okay. I think I have a bit of a bladder problem. Undiagnosed. Maybe it's just as I drink a lot of water, but I pee a lot. I know that I need aisles. I can't sit in the middle.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because I'll be getting up and I'll be bothering you.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Just have a little bit of fucking care for your neighbor. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. There's a hierarchy for sure.

[A]

By the way, they should charge less money the closer you get to the middle. Thoughts?

[B]

I think that. Well, yeah, yeah. Yes, sure. Okay. Take us home, Ben.

[A]

This episode. This episode is 5 stars. Otherwise, what are you, nuts? Listen to us. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch us on YouTube, share our clips. I guess don't watch us on YouTube because we curse so much. We're gonna get demonetized.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Watch our clips. Instagram and TikTok. Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see ya.

[D]

Please note that this episode may contain.

[C]

Paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

[D]

Individuals on the show may have a.

[C]

Direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.