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Ben
The following podcast is a dear media production. Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the good guys. A mother's dream premium podcast team.
Josh
Make it your weekly routine.
Ben
It's a good guys.
Josh
And if you don't give us five stars.
Ben
What are you nuts?
Josh
What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys.
Ben
They're not the great guys.
Josh
We're just the good of the good guys.
Ben
We have the wonderful Raven and Miranda here from the Tea Time podcast.
Raven
Tea time.
Ben
Thank you for coming.
Raven
Thank you for having us, Ben.
Ben
We were just all sharing a subject that I know that's near and dear to your heart, which is a jean with stretch. A pant with stretch.
Josh
I haven't bought a jean without stretch ever.
Raven
You know what? I'm proud of you, sir.
Josh
It's just like, I don't even know why we make them without stretch. Like sometimes you'll accidentally buy a pair of jeans that you think are the jeans that you normally get that are stretchy. Then you go to put them on, you're like, these are going to rip right at the thighs.
Raven
Those are masochists. Yeah, purely.
Miranda
Have you ever had the experience of having your jeans put in the dryer and then you go to put them on and they are tight and they have maybe like shrunk a size and then lay down? Yes. And then you're just like, what the hell? You feel bad about yourself the whole rest of the day cuz you're like, I don't fit into these jeans and they're stiff. It's like there's nothing worse.
Raven
That is the year 2005 for me. The whole entire year.
Miranda
The entire year.
Raven
Yes.
Josh
Wow.
Miranda
Every day. Every day. Every day.
Raven
Bad jean dryer. Lifestyle.
Miranda
Oof.
Josh
Babes, how many different size jeans do you guys have currently in your house? I have four. I have from a 34 to a 40.
Ben
This closet looks like a Bloomingdale. Hilarious.
Josh
It looks like a dxl.
Miranda
Oh my God.
Raven
I actually stopped buying any types of pairs of jeans. I threw them all away and I only buy JNCO jeans now.
Ben
Wow.
Raven
I went back to where it all started trendy and it's just the right fit and they stay. I have like two waist sizes, period time and non period time.
Miranda
Oh, sorry. Which you guys can totally relate to.
Raven
Yeah.
Miranda
For me, when it comes to jean sizes, it only ranges based off of the cut of denim. So it's like. Or the cut of jeans. So not of denim. But there are some denims that are more stiff. Stiff. And then they will be A high waist, and therefore, I'll need to, like, size down. Or there's a pant that's a little bit more baggy. So there I'd have to, like, adjust. You know what I mean? It's just like. Sure. But I don't really know what my range is.
Raven
But what for guys, right? Like, do you guys have that problem, like, the hip to thigh ratio moment, or is it just, like, crotch to leg moment?
Ben
No, I have an athletic leg, and I have to lead with that.
Raven
Okay.
Ben
Because I have a skinny mini waist. Yeah, skinny mini 33. Just tiny right in the middle. But when you see these sycamores coming in.
Miranda
Yes.
Ben
These things. I mean, are we in the redwoods? Do we need to have a wildfire warning? And so, yeah, I need a special pant.
Josh
Ben. It's the best part about being formerly morbidly obese is, like, coming out of it just with thighs that are so fucking strong. Like, I too. Like, my number one feature is my thigh. Like, you put me in a gym. I. I can deadlift. Do I work out? No, but I can do it because I deadlifted for fucking 30 years.
Ben
Same.
Raven
Same.
Josh
Just walking.
Raven
Yeah.
Miranda
Cause I can do a. I can.
Raven
Do, like, a zillion squats now. My thighs are fantastic. I'm very strong because we had a lot of weight on. I had a lot of weight on me. Yeah. Funny. Kindred.
Ben
Is it.
Josh
It's a blessing.
Raven
It is.
Josh
I. I love it. Like, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Ben
Have we ever had. And I don't know if we're getting too personal too quick, but I'm going there. I'm being vulnerable.
Miranda
Let's do it.
Ben
Have you ever had the thighs r. Chafing? A chafe?
Miranda
Yes.
Raven
Not only do they chafe, but they change color because of my melanin and because of the. It sometimes will discolorate. So, like, the higher you go in my thigh area, the darker it gets?
Miranda
Darker.
Josh
Yes.
Raven
I like to call it my permanent tan. So whatever.
Josh
Yes.
Ben
And is this a gold bond moment, or am I just speaking for myself?
Miranda
Baby powder?
Ben
Yeah, a little. Yeah, just a nice medicated powder.
Miranda
Yeah.
Josh
A towel Depends on how bad it is. Sometimes you can go like a thick salve. You can go with a cream if it's really been rubbing too long. Like, sometimes I'll forget how big my thighs are, and I'll just walk around in a wet bathing suit and I'll get home and I'll need to go to the er. Like, this is, like, it's Real. It's real.
Raven
It's a little red down there. Females, we have to be careful. We can't put powder on our thighs. Right. We have to stick with the oils and the salves.
Miranda
It can be dangerous. Baby powder the hell out of yourself.
Raven
Because then I learned that that was bad.
Miranda
Because what I loved is Raven would, like, be in her bathroom doing her thing, and I would see a foot trail that was left from, like, the bathroom into the bedroom to her underwear drawer, back around. I could trace every single one of her steps because she left baby powder all over her feet.
Ben
That's cute. That's like a game.
Miranda
But it was. But not for me, Josh, where I was, like, trying. First of all, I was like, what ghost is in this house? And number two. And then I had to, like, switch her everything. It was crazy.
Raven
It was my favorite.
Miranda
Oh, my God. It was ridiculous. But chafing is no joke. That is very.
Raven
Babes, where do you chafe?
Miranda
Well, I know I actually do have that problem because it's not just about size. It's also, like, if you're built a certain way and so my. My thighs touch. Like, I don't have a thigh gap, so I don't even think, like, no matter how skinny I could baby be.
Ben
You're an ally. You're an ally.
Miranda
Yeah, I'm an ally. You know.
Josh
We'Ll leave it at that. Sick is a thigh gap, though, Josh. Like, yeah, badly. I want a thigh gap. You know, Weird. I'd look. It'd be like a man with a gap look.
Ben
Like you had a tumor remove.
Raven
Oh, my God.
Ben
Okay. What's a piece of clothing that you can't wear? Like, for me, I can't wear anything that, like, you know, where guys will wear, like, kind of like a sheer. Not sheer, but like, almost like a knit. Something tight. Like a merino wool?
Raven
Yeah, yeah.
Ben
Any kind of one of those. Like, tighter thin. The thinner the material, the thicker the material kind of hides camouflage. But if it's like, something thin around, like, I just look like a sack of potatoes.
Raven
I can't with you right now.
Ben
I look like a pear.
Raven
Pears are juicy, Boo. Bears are juicy. A good pear, but a good pear, though. My wife fell in love with her. She used to poach pears for me at night and bake them for me with some peanut butter. Oh, my God.
Josh
That is delicious.
Miranda
Super. And then two Christmases ago, I poached pears in wine. In red wine. When I was doing that for her for dessert, I wasn't doing it with Wine. But I did it for the holidays with wine. And it's.
Raven
My mom fell in love. Okay, back to your question. I'm so sorry. What clothing?
Miranda
Can we.
Josh
And then I want to know, Miranda, do you do a lot of cooking? But we can go to that afterwards. We go back to your question.
Raven
Do you see me?
Miranda
Don't. Don't put that on.
Raven
I'm not putting that on you.
Miranda
Ricky Bobby clothing you can't wear. Baby.
Raven
No, baby first. Oh, your list is longer.
Miranda
Yeah. I am very material specific. So there's a lot of clothing I stay away from because I don't like high necks, like a turtleneck. I don't like. I don't want to wear anything that's too tight or kind of restrictive. I don't like itchy wools. Kind of like what you were saying. I.
Raven
She also has, like, really a very long waist. So back when we had a stylist, he would buy pants, and sometimes the pants just didn't fit right. I look really long.
Miranda
I have, like, a 70s body.
Raven
Yeah.
Miranda
I feel like I literally look like a woman from the seventies all the time. So if you put certain things on me. And this is really interesting, you guys, because something about my proportions, like skirt length is very weird on me. So a lot of times I give, like, hidic Jew in a skirt. Like, when I. When the skirt is supposed. When, like, the skirt is.
Ben
That's a fantasy. I mean, you're in Crown Heights. You make eyes with Devora across the kosher market.
Josh
She's ready.
Miranda
Shalom.
Raven
Shalom.
Ben
Yeah.
Raven
Like, hello, Rivka. Exactly.
Miranda
She's coming in hot. This should be my alter ego.
Raven
Oh, my God.
Miranda
Oh, my God. Rivka, let's go.
Ben
Let's do it.
Miranda
But it'll just, like, the look that the person is, like, trying to achieve on me is like this, like, sexy. And they're like, why isn't this working? I'm like, it's my torso. I don't know what to tell you.
Raven
It's my torso.
Miranda
So there's quite a lot I can't wear.
Ben
We all have something.
Raven
Mine is very politically incorrect. The wife beater. I. When I was younger, in my early. Am I a gay day?
Miranda
Can you not wear that?
Raven
I can't wear wife feeders because what happens is my boobs take up a lot of the real estate, and then the tummy takes up the rest of the real estate. So then it just becomes a baby tee with, like, no sleeves. It's just arms and titties. It's. It's not okay.
Ben
Parts of this country, you'd be thriving.
Raven
You know what?
Ben
You know what?
Raven
Yeah, maybe down in la. In Atlanta, I'd thrive. But not here.
Josh
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Ben
Ben, did you mention, did your boobs come up in the press last week?
Raven
Oh, yeah. I was talking about my titties. They're there, Shane. You can see them. I don't know. It circulates.
Josh
I think maybe it was a recent. There was maybe a recent TikTok. Maybe something that. The only reason people watch that's so Raven was because your breasts. That was perhaps what I see.
Raven
My breasts.
Miranda
Her breastesses.
Raven
My breastesses. They're called titties. Okay, listen, I was. I love. I love it.
Josh
Same.
Miranda
I've never had them. What's it like?
Raven
My baby has a nice little couple.
Miranda
I'm happy.
Raven
I'm happy, too. So, yeah, I mean, listen, I was, I. I looked at some of the Nielsen ratings when it came to that.
Josh
So.
Raven
Raven, there were a lot of guys watching. And Disney's just not known for bringing guys to the yard. And so I just, you know, I know what they were looking at, but they also. It was so funny. I was. I think I was in Atlanta. I was walking down the street and this guy come up to me. He's like, I love you and I just want you to know you're incorrect. And I stop. I said, what are you talking about? And he goes, that's not the only reason I watched you.
Miranda
I said, oh, because you don't probably know this because Raven isn't one who, like, stays up on social media. But that became a big thing and a lot of people were actually saying, raven, we never watch the show for your titties. We watched the show because we loved you and we Loved your comedy. And don't kind of sell yourself short.
Ben
So agreed.
Raven
Oh, that's kind.
Josh
That was me.
Miranda
And then a lot of people watch, like, we were young boys.
Raven
I'm.
Ben
I'm a Chris Massey guy, so I don't know why you got.
Raven
Immediately.
Miranda
Yes. Hilarious.
Raven
Immediately.
Ben
Yes.
Raven
That's funny. Oh, that's good to know. Well, thank you, social media, for standing up and proving me wrong. Ish.
Josh
Yeah. Yes. Well, the article of clothing that I can't wear is anything that's tight around the hips. I do my best to hike my underwear over. Josh does the same. I won't put him on the spot, but we hike our underwear just a little bit higher than norm to kind of like, cover the hand.
Raven
I literally just did that.
Josh
Oh, yeah. It's the only way to be. But so if you wear a sweater that's a little bit too tight, and then all of a sudden you see just, like, the underwear. I don't want anybody seeing my underwear through my sweater. Right. So it needs to be a little bit boxier. Or black. Or black. I can wear anything in black. I really can't wear colors. I can't wear pink. Black. I like black.
Ben
At the age where I don't, I'm in full acceptance. I just have a healthy curiosity about, like, being the kind of guy that could whip their shirts off and do. No adjusting.
Raven
How does that feel?
Ben
Well, how does it.
Raven
How does it feel?
Ben
I don't know.
Raven
You haven't practiced it yet?
Ben
Not me. I can't.
Raven
You have to practice it. Why?
Josh
You can. You're huge.
Ben
You're beautiful.
Josh
Like, I don't even know what you're talking about.
Ben
I know, but I still got. You know, when you're as heavy as I was, you got a little skin here and there. You got some, like, random scarring shout out. Yeah, but, like, you know what I mean? And so I notice when people. Like when I do take off my shirt, it's. People are never like, whoa. But they are like, huh?
Raven
Not the smile.
Josh
Yeah, I think we just. We just care. We just care a little bit too much. Like, all you got to do is go to a spa or a steam room and watch these 75 year olds just, like, go full dick and walk around. And you're like, why am I. What the hell am I worried about? Yeah, they don't care about me. I don't care about them.
Raven
The problem is that I do care too much. We were living in a neighborhood that was, let's just say, no celebrity buses were looking for Us in that neighborhood, right?
Ben
Fair.
Raven
So one morning I woke up, I put on some spandex booty shorts, a wife beater, and my arms were exposed, my legs were exposed. My wife was like, what are you doing? And I'm like, trauma therapy, babes.
Miranda
She was like, exposure therapy.
Raven
Exposure therapy. I am working to be comfortable with myself by showing my arms and my legs. Because if you notice a lot of my stuff, like, back in the day when I was, like, uber girlish, I'd show my legs because I'd have to in dresses, but, like, I don't do that anymore. So I was really trying to work on it. And it's a muscle to get yourself used to taking your shirt off. I dare you, Josh, for one week, randomly, throughout the day, in your car, at your house, in your backyard. Now.
Miranda
So take your shirt off.
Raven
Take your shirt off and then put it back on. Just.
Miranda
Just for one week, Josh, do not wear a shirt, okay?
Raven
Anywhere you go, don't do it.
Ben
I'm more comfortable being bottom, bottom naked and just walking, like, full Winnie the Pooh. You know what I'm saying?
Raven
Not Winnie the Pooh.
Miranda
That's cute for you.
Ben
I'll go pull Donald Duck. I don't care. Like, my bottom half is fine. It's the top I'm a little insecure about. But when you say, like, did you feel that pressure you said when you were younger to be more, in quotes, girlish?
Raven
Yeah, most definitely. Especially, I mean, even today, I kind of feel that pressure, but I don't give into it. I feel like, definitely when, you know, I was on TV at that time, my counterparts, everyone had the cutest outfit on and things of that nature. And, you know, the way I present myself now probably not have been accepted as much as it is now, thanks to the new generation and all of the people standing up for what's right and being comfortable and authentic. But, yeah, back then, most definitely. And if I did it, I did it full out, all the way through and through. Honey, you couldn't tell me anything. I tipped, I walked, I had the sachet. Then I would come home and I would put on a whole pro club hoodie, take all my makeup off and chill on the couch with my legs open. And even the guy that I was dating was like, what's wrong with you? I'm like, shh. Why bring me some food? You know what I mean?
Miranda
Just to sit on the couch and rub my belly.
Raven
Exactly. Bring me a beer. I made the money. Go sit down. You know what I mean? So the Dichotomy of it all.
Ben
Be more like Miranda, would you.
Raven
No, Miranda, don't take it. She don't. She don't do that. She's like a beer. Here's some filtered water and rub my feet. Anytime, baby. Anytime.
Ben
Let's.
Josh
And you're like, yes, exactly, exactly.
Ben
I want to. I want to talk about this beautiful love affair that you two have. Because, Ben, in case you don't know the backstory, I've known Miranda since we were. Or I've known Raven since we were teenagers growing up in the beautiful San Fernando Valley.
Josh
Heard of it.
Ben
And then in the last 10 years, Miranda and I became friends, and my wife Paige, and we were, you know, we were hanging out, and Miranda would mention that she had dated Raven, and it was kind of the one that got away. And now to have seen them reconnect and have this beautiful love. Tell us.
Raven
Oh, babes, tell us.
Miranda
Tell us. Well, I always knew that Raven was my person. I truly, just after meeting her in 2015, I was like, she's my person. That's it. So we dated, we moved to New York. She did the View. I was in love. I was like, this is incredible. We broke up. I was heartbroken. And I moved back to LA from New York. And that's, I think, when our paths crossed. And I was, yeah, like, blubbering and blabbering about Raven and trying to, like, get my life back together. I was dating somebody else, and it was just kind of. I don't know, it was really interesting because as somebody who's always had issues with trusting herself, I was so certain about Raven. And it was just, like. It was clear, like, there were no questions. Like, every part of my body knew that I was meant to be with this person. And I had these visions of, like, finding out that she was getting married to somebody else and crashing the wedding and stopping it and being like, no, you're making the worst mistake. And then during COVID we reconnected, and very quickly, like, this is it and we're getting married. So we'd reconnected in April, and we got married in June. And now it's almost been five years of being married.
Ben
Wow.
Miranda
Beautiful round of applause for that.
Ben
Come on.
Josh
And also just like, a round of applause for the way that you talk about Raven. Like, that's lovely. Like, more people should do that. More people. Josh. What do you mean? Just kidding.
Miranda
Josh, talk about Raven like that.
Raven
Oh, my God. No, don't.
Ben
Raven and I, we yantang over green tea tempura ice cream. If you understood my first interact. One of my first interactions with Raven. I must have been, you know, 16, 17 years old. I'm mid weight loss, so I'm at a weird time. Long sideburns, 260.
Josh
Okay.
Raven
Long sideburns.
Ben
And we happen to be at our local sushi haunt. I see.
Raven
Midori.
Miranda
No, Sushi dan.
Ben
Sushi dan, Sorry.
Raven
Sushi dan.
Ben
Midori was good, too. All you can eat.
Raven
Yeah, exactly.
Ben
So good. They're like, you know, if you don't clean your plate, you have to pay for it. I'm like, oh, don't you worry.
Raven
Don't tell me these things.
Ben
I think we're gonn be okay. Okay. Big muscles. Another fucking round.
Raven
Oh, my God.
Ben
But yes. And I remember Raven and I were chatting, and she looked at me and said, have you ever had green tea tempura, fried ice cream? And I said, no. And she was like, sit down.
Raven
That's so funny.
Ben
And it was a dream, but I think, you know, Ben and his wife have been together over a decade. They've been a beautiful baby. Baruch Hashem on the way, eh?
Josh
Yes.
Ben
Wouldn't you identify with that? I know I do. With that same feeling of, like, just somehow weirdly, it's like, yeah, this is my person. I don't need to be convinced.
Raven
Yeah, no.
Josh
And once you found your person, you just go for it. We found each other really early. Like, we started dating. We were 20 and 18. We got married at 25 and 23. And people are like, that's young. And it's like, I found my person. Like, what do you want me to do? Dick around for a decade? Like, no, like, we found each other. And like, it's just. There's no better feeling than that. But at the same time, once you found your person, it makes you realize. Imagine being in a, like, a horrible marriage. Like, imagine like that life where you're looking across and you're like, oh, I hate this fucking person.
Raven
Yeah.
Josh
Like, that must be a nightmare.
Miranda
Yeah.
Josh
I can't even imagine. And a lot of people feel that way. It's terrible. We're very lucky.
Raven
We're very lucky that that mentality of marriage definitely happened a lot in past generations and happens now, too. But it's like we were never really taught to me, in my head, I'm kind of, you know, changing the subject a little bit. But we're never really taught how to love correctly because we're all coming from a child space. So I think that with our generation and us, we had a chance to learn ourselves A little bit more than our parents did and their parents did because of social normatives and what we were allowed to learn about ourselves, to then find the person that we.
Miranda
When you guys hear people say marriage is so hard, or, you know, the old ball and chain, that type of thing, what are your thoughts?
Ben
It is.
Miranda
It is.
Ben
I think that I have this idea, and I've sort of created it from observing people in recovery. I'll see people. They get sober, they start working on themselves, they get in shape, they're spiritual, they're doing all the things they're manifesting, blah, blah, blah, and they're perpetually single. Because once you enter into a relationship, you're leveling up and you are trying out. I always say, like, you don't want to be a Faberge egg, where you're this perfect, beautiful thing, but you get jostled around too much and you shatter. So now you're, like, actually testing the work, and you're seeing yourself like, I could never have known as much as I do about myself without Paige being like, you're not seeing this. So let me give you this view. So I think that that is relentless growth. Like, that's what's been revealed to me every time in the face of challenge or something's going on with myself or between Paige and I, it's like, well, are you willing to grow a little more and do just a little more work? And on the other side of it, it'll be great, but you gotta be willing.
Raven
That's the hard part.
Miranda
I heard someone on a podcast say they were asked if they believed in soulmates, and their response was yes and no. And the no part was, I believe, actually that there isn't just one person, that there's three people, and there's three different types of love and relationships that people will end up having. And there were two, and it was kind of like, one is romantic and that gets boring, and one is something I can't remember, and then, you know, you end up walking away from that. But the third is the mirror, and the mirror relationship is the relationship that will last you the longest, and that also allows you everything that you were just saying.
Ben
Josh.
Miranda
It's that push to grow because you're fully in a place where you have somebody mirroring back to you all of the things that you need to do. And it can feel really hard and really trying and really exhausting at times, but if you actually settle into it and you accept the. The challenges that you're being presented with, which really have more to do with you individually than your spouse or anything outside of you, you can become so much better. And then you end up in one of the most fulfilling, special relationships of your entire life because you've co created this life together, but this, like this growth together as well, individually and separate. And that to have somebody be able to individually and together, individually and together and to have someone who's able to mirror you in a way that actually allows you to grow is so special.
Raven
Because it is, it's the difference. It's like you can have someone to mirrors you and then you start to, you know, dip down a little bit and turn into the what you don't want versus having someone mirror you and you turn into a better human that you've always thought you were when you were single and doing all that work. And it's like, well, I agree with you.
Josh
You mentioned ball and chain though, before Miranda. That expression, I fucking hate Me too. Marriage is very hard, but I absolutely despise it when I'm with somebody and they are complaining to me about their spouse in a serious way. Like, you can joke, like Josh and I just before were joking about how I have a golf trip this weekend and I told my wife 10 months ago that I had this trip. So now she's totally comfortable that I'm going away.
Raven
That's what I do too. That's what I, that's what happens.
Josh
You have to prep it for sure. And some could call that ball and chain. But no, I, I love her. She is my person that's managing expectations. Josh said it's hard work. It is hard work adjusting and making sure that your significant other is comfortable. Yeah, but like, don't come to me and like complain that your wife is a huge bitch. Like divorce her if you hate her.
Raven
Exactly.
Josh
Like, I don't need that on me. Like, it's so, it's like weird. Like misery loves company. And like some people try to like get out of you that you're unhappy. And it's like, no, I'm really, I'm really fucking happy. Like, like, you know, keep it to yourself.
Miranda
This is such a. Not a tangent, but it's just, hear me out. I was an executive assistant and one of the agents who would constantly call my boss before any meeting he allowed to start. It would be, tell me how much you hate your wife. Tell me how much you hate your wife. And my boss would have to kind of like lean into it. And I was like, this is horrible. Like, why do guys have this? Or not Just guys. I'M sure women do as well. But, like, why is that kind of like bro code of bonding? Like, let's talk about how shitty it is at home. And, like, I'm like, why don't you normalize, like, how great it could be at home?
Josh
I think, I don't think it's normal. I think they must hate their wives. Like, it's not normal. Like, I'm. I'm around guys that like their wives and they don't talk like that.
Raven
I think it's. Those people are not. Also, they weren't ready for marriage. They're still living in their single brain.
Miranda
I mean, I'm sure like grown ass men.
Raven
Yeah.
Miranda
In their life, work in the industry.
Raven
Come on. They're still children.
Miranda
What?
Ben
We are.
Miranda
Come on.
Raven
Now, listen. But I even had to go through this moment in marriage where Miranda was like, you're not single anymore. I'm like, oh, that's right. That's right. It's like to switch that brain over when you're like perpetually single slash serial monogamous. Which was me, but, like always thinking, oh, I'm just gonna be in a relationship for two or three years and I'm done. But like, with her, I still have the. Yeah, I'm doing this. She's like, you're married, bitch. Oh, yeah, we're doing this. And I think that those guys that you're talking about, not only are they toxic and horrible and whatever, they also just. They're still trying to live the single life and be young and fun and not thinking that if they, you know, really leaned into the fact that if you're with someone, chose to share your life with, you could turn into someone better. They're not ready for that level up. They just weren't ready.
Ben
Yeah, but it's also about a little decorum, for sure. Like, I think we can. We can also acknowledge, like, reality. Like, if I was with Ben and like some stunning person walked by, like, he and I, like, we're sentient beings with eyes. Like, we could be like, wow, that's a very good looking person. But I wouldn't be like, those tits. Like, what am I, from the titties?
Raven
No, I'm just playing.
Josh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you would.
Ben
No, I wouldn't. Do you know me to be that.
Josh
Way, by the way? I would. If we're alone, I don't think I, like, I think that I. I would say those titties. This is like 2000.
Raven
Is it weird? Is it. Is it weird that I do that to my wife?
Miranda
That's what I was gonna ask you guys.
Raven
No, like, I literally do that to my wife.
Miranda
I literally was like, I wanna.
Raven
Oh my God.
Miranda
Yeah. She was literally like. She was like, oh my God, is she a pop star or a country star? And I was like, I don't know. She's like, yeah, me either. I don't, but I'm to fuck. And I was like, I'm sorry, what? She was. You can't say that on here.
Raven
I'm just saying. I'm just listening. I would never do it, obviously, but I want her to know what's in my brain.
Miranda
But I'm asking you to. Would you tell your down to fuck?
Josh
No, you can't do that as a man.
Raven
I told you. I told you it was only men.
Josh
But my wife would definitely look at me like if she's watching something and say that somebody was good looking for sure she wouldn't say, I want to fuck him. Like, no, that wouldn't happen.
Miranda
I don't think you say that to your spouse, period.
Raven
But I'm gay or.
Ben
Everyone's got their own thing. Everyone's got their own code that like, is down to clown. I couldn't say that to my, like. Most recently, I've been fawning over Meghan Markle to my wife, saying, I've been like, wow, she is so stunning. I'm like, I cannot watch the show.
Raven
That's literally the same thing I said. You just said it nicely.
Ben
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Josh
By the way, I cannot watch the show because the show was terrible.
Raven
Well, I'm sorry, that's a Megan of Sussex.
Ben
Oh my God, she's got. She glows.
Miranda
I mean.
Ben
Yeah, yeah.
Raven
Listen, you want to. You down to, you know, you're down there.
Ben
I mean, you know, you don't have.
Raven
To finish the sentence.
Ben
And it came to me, you know, she could call me Jake.
Miranda
You're going to say H. H didn't really like that. Hilarious.
Ben
She likes an initial or two.
Miranda
She really does. H would not be happy to hear this conversation.
Josh
No.
Raven
But I do ask her multiple occasions, babe, who do you think is cute? Don't you. I do that a lot. I'm like, who do you like?
Miranda
Yeah.
Raven
Because I think that we are still human beings and I think if you cut that out, then you're cutting a part of yourself out.
Josh
To be honest, my wife does that to me too. But it's a trap. Like we're watching an award show. She's like, oh, doesn't whatever, Scarlett Johansson look great tonight? I'm like, no, see no.
Raven
And you're not. I want you to be authentic. So let's get Jeremy Allen White here and see what happens.
Miranda
I think that's the thing. We don't have to pretend. Kind of like what you guys were saying earlier. It's like we're humans and when you see something that's attractive or you feel attracted to something, it's normal. And I don't think that there's a reason to pretend. Like, once you get married, that goes away.
Josh
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Ben
I'm dying to know. As much as you want to talk about it, I know you. You recently were back on the View, right. As a guest.
Raven
Ish. Long time ago.
Ben
But what. What was. And you because you talked about like this is like I have like ptsd.
Raven
Yeah, I do. I have a lot of PTSD on for a lot of topics.
Josh
But keep going.
Ben
Oh same. We are in good company here. I just want to know what it's like hosting a daily show like that because it's slightly been in my dream. So make it a nightmare.
Raven
Okay, cool. Let me make it a nightmare for you. Really quick one. Do it with a really big company like abc.
Josh
Right.
Raven
That has multiple lawyers.
Ben
Yeah.
Raven
And requires a lot of views on a regular basis. Then talk about politics. Actually get hired knowing that you're going to be talking about pop culture. But then have them switch it on and it be the most heavily thick. Most heavily thick. Doesn't make any sense. The most thick political climate that could ever have happened when you were supposed to be on air.
Ben
2015, 2017. Okay.
Raven
When you're supposed to be on air. No. 2015 was the ramp up. 2016 was the ramp up.
Ben
Got it.
Raven
When you're supposed to be talking about pop culture and then also, and I gotta be careful how I say this but. But you know, when you're prepping for a live telecast, you have to make sure that you have a point of view that is crafted and you stick to that. And then as an actor, just make sure like hey, it might contradict somebody else's. So be ready for that conflict on air. Now as my wife knows, I hate conflict. I will scream and yell and then I will go and leave and just like go cry in a corner. I need to be in a Closet. I do not like conflict on air. And continue that and make sure that you get everything you've ever wanted to say out of your mouth within the 30 seconds that you're allowed to speak with a whole bunch of other people on the panel and make it make sense so that the entire world doesn't come for you. Also, it's not. I had the really bad mindset that that was a safe space. Anytime there's a camera or microphone in front of you, it's not a safe space. You guys, I don't care who you are.
Ben
Sure.
Miranda
And you still haven't learned that lesson.
Raven
I still clearly, clearly rewind the tape.
Miranda
To four minutes ago.
Raven
This is a safe space. And, you know, say things that you would say in the comfort of your own home. Because you're at a panel with women that you love and you talk shit with them outside of the show.
Ben
Yeah.
Raven
It's just really scary. It's really scary for someone who grew up having a written script their whole life.
Ben
Totally.
Raven
I think you guys can do it, though. I think there's a need. I think you can do it for a male view. No, actually, I take that back. There is no more needs for male views.
Ben
I agree.
Josh
We don't want the view.
Ben
No. But I'm just.
Josh
We don't want the view.
Ben
Olivia, was it that funny?
Raven
We don't need any more male views, but I think you guys can, like, talk about sports or some shit and. No. What is the show about? What is this show?
Miranda
What would it be?
Ben
This. It's about stretchy jeans. Relationships.
Miranda
Relationships.
Josh
We could honestly do, like, a bit of a Fashion Police 2.0. Josh and I could sit there and, like, judge people on the carpet. That would be fun for us.
Raven
I love straight fashion. That's cute. That's a good answer.
Josh
That's us.
Ben
Look at that Patagonia jacket.
Miranda
Oh, my God. You're like, those Lands End pants are rapes.
Raven
And Carhartt. But what about.
Josh
Is that llp?
Ben
Like, there's been male views and people don't like it. Right.
Raven
This is why I said no more.
Ben
That's right. Like, not the male view, but, like, actual four guys in a round table.
Josh
No, they don't like it.
Ben
Wasn't it, like, Mario Lopez or something? Like, he needs one more job.
Raven
Oh, my God. That man is in my hotel. He is on my. Everywhere. He is. When you walk by the tv, if they're still a thing, like crazy.
Miranda
He's everywhere.
Josh
He's everywhere.
Raven
No, I don't think you need it. I Think that. Who's my favorite Pictionary host?
Ben
O'Connell.
Raven
O'Connell.
Miranda
Jerry.
Raven
Jerry. I love you, Jerry. Sorry I forgot your name, love, but you know I love you. And you know he's been on the panel with the Talk.
Ben
Yes.
Raven
And I think that obviously there's a need for it, but when you guys find that niche, like, we're down for it. We're going to root for you both. Yes.
Ben
Okay.
Josh
We got to find it.
Raven
Yeah.
Josh
I think we make it a three way when we get Steve Harvey involved. That's who I need.
Ben
Oh, my God.
Miranda
That changes everything. Raven's leaving.
Josh
I would take him.
Miranda
Raven's leaving.
Josh
Come out. I hate him.
Raven
I hate him.
Ben
So good.
Miranda
Did he just throw up in your mouth a little bit? Oh, my God.
Josh
I hate him.
Miranda
Oh, my God. Not on camp. I can't.
Ben
This is the best podcast.
Josh
I hate Steve Harvey.
Miranda
Remember how she went to Atlanta?
Ben
It's not Steve Harvey, it's Family Feud. Guys, she has resentment against family because.
Raven
I'm not hosting it. No, I have no problem with Steve Harvey. I think he's great. But again, another person who has everything.
Josh
Thank God, though.
Miranda
Yeah.
Josh
I almost had a heart attack.
Ben
But would you like. Would that be, like, a fun thing to do? Host, like, a game show?
Raven
Well, surprising. You bring that up every Thursday night on the cw. Raven Simone hosts Scrabble.
Josh
Wow.
Raven
It's really fun, you guys. I'm really enjoying it. And I'm a sister to trivial pursuit with LeVar Burton. What a lot of fun. Check it out. Even if you don't have the CW channel, you can get the CW app for free. And it. And it streams the next day. And when I tell you the fun that I had. We filmed it in London. And the fun that I had meeting these amazing, really, really smart humans that know how to spell people. It's amazing. It was amazing. They know, like, the 702 letter words that there are available in the Scrabble dictionary.
Ben
Wow, that's unbelievable. I'm horrible.
Josh
Scrabble is such a good game. What a great game. Oh, yeah. Horrible. But it's so fun.
Ben
Yeah. So fun. But, like, I judge people. Like, when they're like, I'll look at someone's board and it'll be like, bun. I'll be like, you didn't graduate high school.
Josh
No three letter words.
Ben
Did you go. Now, Raven, you did go to set school.
Raven
I had a wonderful teacher.
Ben
Yes, you did.
Miranda
I did.
Raven
Do you remember your teacher?
Ben
His name was Kevin. But Kevin got steamrolled by the higher.
Raven
Ups oh, that's messed up.
Ben
And they were like, yo, we don't want to have to spend three hours of his nine hour workday schooling him.
Raven
Which is literally legal. That's the law. Okay, keep going.
Ben
But not to them. So they go, we have a guy who has a high school that Josh can go to and graduate from in one day. And the high school location, it's in a shady office in Silver Lake. So you show up and it's an academy. And he goes, I'm gonna give you a test. And you spend two hours taking basically like a GED for people who wouldn't be able to pass the ged. And then you get a high school diploma and they no longer have to.
Raven
Holy shit.
Ben
That's a while.
Raven
That's crazy.
Ben
Yeah.
Raven
Oh, don't you dare. I love you so much.
Ben
Thanks, Jade.
Raven
The next water company.
Ben
Thank you, Jade.
Raven
Aw, thank you. I love it here, babe.
Miranda
Yeah, well, considering you threw up in.
Raven
The other one there, I wanna apologize for your experience.
Ben
Thank you.
Raven
Because that fucking sucks. I had a wonderful teacher. Her name was Sharon, Sharon Sachs. And I had some other teachers when I went to high school too, but my parents would not let that happen. I had to have good grades or I would be on punishment while also making sure I show up to work in a real way.
Ben
Wow.
Raven
It was not a game for them. And I kind of envy you. But also, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Did you ever go to public school?
Ben
Until I was in high school.
Raven
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How was high school? I mean, how was middle school for you?
Ben
It was fine. I went to performing arts high school in New York, so it's my people. Oh, it was really. I was. I was finally the cool kid.
Raven
Oh, I love that for you.
Ben
But did you not. How was. Did you ever go to normal?
Raven
I did. I went to public school, elementary, middle school in the first two years of high school, and then I went online because that's when online school is started. Laurel Springs, GILS Schools.
Ben
Schools.
Raven
I learned how to sew it in schools. And again, my parents were not playing around because my mom's from a family of teachers. So this is my favorite line from my mom. I'm like, mom, I'm hosting the View. Oh, that's great, Mom. I met this person. Wow, that's really good. Did you go to college? No, Mom, I'm in the middle of doing my own show. I don't care. Until you go to college. I went to college. I swear to God. She's now saying do you want to go back? I'll pay for it. I'm like, I can pay for my own college, mom. She cares more about that than she does anything I've ever done on screen. It's hilarious. And also great.
Ben
Yes.
Raven
School's important. Yeah. Wow.
Ben
College.
Miranda
Gosh.
Raven
Did you not go? No.
Miranda
I think he grew up a little.
Ben
Yeah. I was not allowed.
Raven
No allowed.
Ben
I don't know. It just wasn't in the cards for me. I would have. I. But I am also one of those people who. I respect it. I think I would have appreciated it and been able to be completely available to do it now.
Raven
Yeah.
Ben
It's just too late. Like, it's not too late, but I think at that age, I was just like, I gotta get a job. Miranda, did you go to college?
Miranda
No, for like, two weeks.
Ben
That's my girl.
Miranda
Yeah. It was actually really unfortunate because I had every intention of going to college because my parents, my entire life basically said to me, you're gonna find your people when you go to college. Because I was so uncomfortable in high school and elementary school, and my mom was just always like, you will find your people when you get to college. It's gonna be wonderful. And both of my parents are also highly educated people and really believe in education, which I do as well. But I applied to my schools. I did not get into any of the colleges I wanted to go to. I got into my two safety schools, and I didn't want to go to either of those. And I was like, I'm going to go to smc. And also I went to Campbell hall, which in LA is one of the, like, top. I mean, private schools.
Ben
Fancy schmancy.
Miranda
Like Dalton, New York, Fancy smanchy, la.
Raven
Private school where they tell about the time that teacher.
Miranda
Where they pride. Where they pride themselves on. I had a teacher who. She used to eat a lot of paper.
Raven
Not that one.
Miranda
She ate my Animal Farm essay.
Ben
What? Paying $40,000 for teachers who eat paper?
Raven
Yeah.
Miranda
Literally. Literally.
Ben
Public school shit.
Miranda
I know, I know, but that's the thing.
Ben
Where's my composition book, Mrs. Janow? It's been digested double space.
Josh
I'm sorry.
Miranda
No, Josh. You think you're joking right now, but I'm not even kidding. She had a thing for paper that was so intense that she would actually say, like. Like, I tried to throw away a piece of construction paper once because we were making cards for kids. And she freaked out because she was like, that's the best kind. And I was like, she had, like, paper eating preferences. It Was. It was really a character. But anyway, the fact that you, like, go to a school like Campbell hall and then don't get into college is very disgraceful. And my father even said to me one time, he was like, well, what do I tell the guys on the golf course now? And I was like, you know, he's like, because this person's kid is in Africa doing this, and this person's kids over here at Harvard. And I was like, I don't know, dad. Tell them that your child is fighting for a parking spot at smc. Because that's what I was doing. And then I just. No, I left after that. It was way too overstimulating.
Raven
Did you go to college?
Josh
I did, I did.
Miranda
Where'd you go?
Josh
And I was gonna say I loved college. I don't necessarily think that it is necessary at all right now. Like, college in general, I think breeds a worker. Right. And depending on what you want to do, you don't need to learn how to be obedient, which really is what school is if you want to learn things without structure. Like, I'm. I'm a fan of going and, like, educating yourself, of course, but, like, the structure of college, picking a major, only being able to focus on, like, core studies to then land in a job where you're just making less money than everybody else just seems like such, like, a weird broken loop that we're in. But, yeah, I was pre dental.
Ben
Oh, my gosh.
Josh
I wanted to be a dentist. And then I found out, like, literally my junior year that the person who I was interning for the dental practice, like, he owned 300 practices. So he wasn't a dentist. He was a fucking businessman that owned dental practices. And the loser is the guy who went to dental school who has half of his paycheck taken by the guy that never went to dental school. So it's just like a whole. Once you're. I'm not anti college, but, like, once the wool is pulled over your eyes, it depends on what you want to do. If you want to be a doctor, if you want to be a lawyer, of course, go to school. But if you want to be anything you want, I think, for the most part, like, you don't really need it. I don't know.
Ben
But also, Ben did pass out once during a dental exam while he was interning. Isn't that true?
Raven
Hilarious.
Josh
I got up. Yeah, it had. Weirdly, it had nothing to do with the procedure, but, like, I did, like, I did walk out of the room, just pass out. I woke Up. I was in a wheelchair, he was.
Ben
Watching a root canal and it was all over.
Raven
Oh, he's looking all cute in his scrubs. I'm gonna podcast.
Ben
Stare at molars all day.
Josh
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Ben
Well, we do this segment where we take something called a speak pipe, which are calls. People call in. They need advice. They want to hear from us. So do you guys want to.
Miranda
Yeah.
Ben
To jump in here and we'll take. If you want to leave us a message, get any advice, go to speakpipe.com goodguys keep it brief. Brevity is key. Let's hear from Anonymous. I'm not great at technology. Let's hear from Anonymous. Hi good guys, my name is Mallory.
Raven
And I am a proud moron.
Ben
My fiance and I are both Jews.
Josh
So we're going to be hosting a.
Ben
Beautiful Jewish wedding sometime in the next two years.
Raven
Just want to hear from each of.
Josh
You what your best recommendation is for a wedding and what you would advise against.
Raven
Looking forward to hearing about it. Thanks guys. Bye.
Ben
Covid, right?
Raven
Yeah, Covid.
Josh
Covid.
Ben
Covid.
Raven
Yeah.
Josh
Very open ended question. I don't understand her. Best advice for a wedding.
Miranda
Yes.
Ben
I guess in general, what's the one key thing to think about when having.
Raven
A wedding or just a Jewish wedding? Wedding.
Ben
I know. Let's just make it all.
Miranda
Okay.
Ben
Let's make all encompassing wedding.
Josh
Quick, quick. Get engaged, get married. Make it quick.
Raven
Oh, hilarious. You just said quick.
Josh
Yeah, do it quick.
Ben
Don't wait.
Josh
Everybody's gonna start to argue. I don't care how great your parents are. I don't care how great you guys are. I don't care how solid you are, if you do that 18 month engagement, you're gonna hate each other. Do it in six months, rip it off and start your life, life together. That's my advice.
Raven
Love that, babe.
Miranda
Have good food. Make sure you have good food, make sure you have good drinks, and make sure that you are really thinking about the guests that you're inviting. Because I think that one of the worst things that can happen is when you go to a wedding and it's just like lagging and long and lengthy. It's like, think about what you would want at a wedding as a guest and then plan from there and then put your own personal wedding desires second. I like that.
Ben
Totally.
Josh
I like that too.
Raven
I would say start a Zelle account because I don't want things, I want money. And I think that the people and the guests that show up don't buy me things, you know, contribute to the honeymoon fund. Contribute to, you know, this I'm spending over. Well, some people spend a whole lot of money on a wedding. I want to, you know, get reimbursed for that. So accept money, not presence, pay for your plate. Exactly, exactly.
Ben
I think this seat is free.
Miranda
And then I think because for the Jewish tone of it, what are we saying? I mean, like, have a really great rabbi.
Josh
Yeah, well, I honestly have a great. It's more the cantor, like the guy that's singing you down the aisle. Like in great Jewish weddings, they have somebody that is live singing you down the aisle. They have somebody with some good pipes. Make sure they had those three nice warm waters like raven and clear and clean.
Raven
You need it. You need the warmth.
Josh
Yes, you need it. You need it.
Ben
I would also say if you have 10 people that you're on the fence about inviting and maybe two or three of them are you're related to, maybe they're like second or third cousins or whatever. Or first invite the family over, the friends. Because in 10 years, there's at least a dozen plus people I don't talk to who came to our wedding, but there are some family members who I'm still family with, who we weren't talking then, but we're talking now. And I feel bad and I wish I had just. I wish they had come over, those other people.
Raven
That's fair, right?
Josh
Yeah.
Ben
Just saying. Okay, next one from Anonymous.
Raven
Hey, good guys. Huge moron here with a huge moron husband.
Miranda
We love listening to your show together in the car. It's just something fun we get to.
Raven
Look forward to doing every week.
Miranda
Settle a Debate for us.
Raven
Is it nuts to think that your wife is not hot?
Miranda
We were talking the other week about.
Raven
The difference between pretty cute and hot hot. And he said that I, for example.
Miranda
Was pretty and cute, but not necessarily hot. Oh, is this nuts?
Josh
Should I be offended?
Raven
I kind of am. I'm not the most voluptuous girl out.
Miranda
There, but I don't know, I feel.
Raven
Like you should find your partner hot.
Miranda
Right? He thinks it's just a different type of attractiveness. Let us know your thoughts. Thanks, bye. What's happening over here, Ben?
Josh
I have a shiver down my spine.
Ben
Buckle up.
Josh
Like, just lie. What are you nuts? Like, your wife asked her, am I hot? Yes. Yes, you're hot. I can't even. Like, she didn't ask you that so you could say, nah. You're like kind of cute though. Like she's going to kill herself. Like, what are you. What's wrong with you? Like, that's terrible. Sorry.
Raven
No, hey, it's, it's your opinion, babe.
Miranda
I sit on both sides. I understand what you're saying and why it is terrible. And as a girl who has done that before, right, where you're like, oh, am I hot? And you want your partner to be like, like, yes, even I think that's the appropriate white lie. There is no reason to say no unless your name is Raven and you're so brutally honest, you don't know how to white lie in those situations. So then you as Miranda, just have to accept that you're not hot. You're babes, babes. You're beautiful.
Raven
And then you're beautiful and gorgeous. You're beautiful and gorgeous.
Miranda
You know what I think though? And to that anonymous caller, you can be whatever you think you are, meaning your husband or your partner might only see you through one light, that they, they only see you through the, the eyes that they have. But if you want to be hot, being hot, I think for like the male gaze is pretty simple. Like, you know that you just need to put on like a tighter outfit or you need to like push your boobs up or you need to have more of that energy. That is what, what hot eats, right? So it's like, I think that people can take on different forms and presentations and present themselves differently when they want to as they see fit, period. No, there's no applause for that.
Raven
I think that was really well said.
Miranda
And I think on a day to day, like not even the hottest, like Angelina Jolie, right? People are like, she's so. She is not hot every day and she's hot when she's Laura Croft. Tomb Raider, maybe, or when she's Gia or whatever. But like, yes.
Ben
Or the changeling. Sorry, problem.
Miranda
But like, she's not necessarily hot when she's sitting and, like, doing a Vanity Fair interview. Like, it's. It's such an. It's such an energy. What do you think, Josh?
Ben
Yeah. I mean, I once called my wife elegant, which she hated. And I'm like, babe, elegant's gonna age so much better.
Miranda
And she is so elegant.
Ben
Yeah. Because I was like. Cause I think about, like, Angelina Jolie in that Vanity Fair interview is elegant Amal Clooney. There's an elegance.
Raven
Elegant. She's elegant and she understands that. I think that what she has to understand the caller is that there are, like, they're different descriptions of each word. Hot, cute, sexy, beautiful, gorgeous, elegant. And when you marry someone, I think that's your brain switching off from hot and, ooh, that's a freak over there. Into like, what do I want to age with? And it is elegance. It is beauty. It's like gorgeousness. It's classic. My wife is classic to me. Like, classic English. I'm like, oh, I love it hot. She has her moments, like when she gets dressed up and I'm like, oh, okay, girl, look at you. You look sexy. You know what I mean? But I think that, you know, I think it's a compliment when someone says something. When someone says, you're not hot, you're beautiful. And I took me a while to stop using the word cute. Cause I think my wife is very cute and, like, Tinkerbell looking. But she was like, I'm not cute. I'm like, you're fucking cute. It's. You're cute.
Ben
But that's. You might even be cute.
Raven
You might even be cute.
Miranda
No, I think it's also. It's just.
Raven
Remember you hated that. Remember you hated that.
Miranda
Yeah, but that was like a me issue, right? So I would say to that. This collar, too. It's like, the reason cute was hard for me to handle was because I didn't want to be cute. I wanted someone to be like, wow, Miranda, you're so pretty. Like, you're so beautiful. I wanted that and cute. Then felt like it was like kind of like, oh, you're cute. And I just like, I don't. But when you say it like that, it's different. I think that if any. I don't know, just don't ask your husband shit.
Raven
Like, yeah, don't trap him.
Miranda
Because that's the thing, too. And like, he need.
Josh
He needs to know how to get out of the trap, though. That's what I was saying from the beginning. Your wife asks you, am I hot?
Ben
Yes.
Josh
Yeah, of course you're hot. Like, I just. I can't even imagine wanting to send her down that spiral. Like, that's also about being a good partner. That is, am I. You don't ask, am I hot? Because you want somebody to say, no, you're pretty.
Raven
This is true. It is a trap.
Ben
You asked it.
Josh
It's a trap. So just know it's a trap, but get out of the trap. Don't eat the cheese.
Miranda
But I also really like the fact that you are saying, like, you don't want to send your partner down that spiral, which means that you would then have the emotional awareness to also understand that maybe your partner needs a little reassurance or a little validation or has felt a little insecure about her appearance for X, Y, and Z. And you can put her at ease by just being like, yeah, baby, you are.
Josh
Like, there's for sure a reason she asks.
Miranda
Exactly. Exactly. And even if you don't know the reason, I think that what you're speaking to is really beautiful in partnership, because that would mean that you have the awareness to go, my partner is asking this for a reason, and I don't have to give my opinion in a real way. This isn't. We don't need to have a dialogue around. Around her attractiveness. Like, she just needs that little moment of a boost. I can give it to her.
Ben
But. And be self aware. If you're asking, if you're hot to your partner, don't be wearing, like, Teva sandals.
Raven
I was literally thinking that.
Miranda
Josh, like, don't.
Raven
Yeah, don't give me a reason to lie to you right now.
Ben
Skinny day. Ask after a stomach flu.
Miranda
Am I hot? Let me pick this girl up for you right now. I still maybe have a temperature. So someone's like, yeah, you are not lying. Yeah.
Ben
And you can be strategic with the way you answer. Like, my son, when he was one years old, his pediatrician, instead of calling him fat, called him robust.
Raven
I like fluffy.
Ben
Yeah.
Raven
I'm warm and fluffy.
Miranda
Yeah.
Ben
She was like, wow, he's robust. I used to be, too. I got a TV show out of it.
Raven
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Ben
Should we go to what are you, nuts?
Josh
What are you nuts?
Ben
Okay.
Josh
Yeah, yeah.
Ben
We'll give you guys a second to think. Our final segment on the show is called what are you nuts? It's you gripes with people, places and things big and small. Whatever's currently sticking in your craw. Nothing too big, nothing too small. Random. Anything works. Take your time. Ben and I will start it. Ben. After you, good sir.
Josh
I'm done with going on an Uber eats a grubhub and being catfished by somebody that made a beautiful looking restaurant. Okay? I order this beautiful Chinese, the frickin photos are out of this world. It shows up, it's slop. I've had enough with these ghost kitchens and being catfished by these restaurants. What are you nuts? Like Uber? Find a way to vet that. This is a legitimate establishment. It can't have 4.9 stars and 5,000 reviews if it's out of this person's apartment. And then it shows up and it's terrible. Takeout is, has gone astray. What are you nuts?
Ben
God bless my what are you nuts? Moment is my son is now playing Little league. It's very cute. But the truth is these parents, they are packing like they're going camping in Yosemite. They got the folding chair, coolers with every beverage, first aid kits, the things, the blankets, like umbrellas. What are you, nuts?
Raven
It's an hour.
Ben
See, he sucks. Your kid stinks. You want to be so comfortable watching your kid miss an easy, you know, throw to first base. What are you, nuts?
Miranda
They're nuts. They're nuts, babes.
Ben
No, take your time. No rush. No, no rush. The dumber the better.
Raven
Yeah, I'm trying. I'm trying to get there. Okay, I'll go and you guys tell me if this is enough. This. This pissed me off so much, I just come. I just came back from Atlanta and I brought this clock back from my grandma's house, which I've been eyeing since I was like three years old. Grandma, rest in peace, Grandpa's house. And the clock weighs about 50 pounds.
Miranda
No joke.
Raven
No heaviest. And so I was like, okay, do I ship it on FedEx or do I take it on the plane? And people are like, if you take it on the plane, you know, at least you're holding it. I'm like, yeah, but then I'm gonna have to pay, right? Because you can't go over £50 on the plane. And I'm like, what is happening? Okay. So I was like, I'll bring it to the. I'll bring it to the airport. They don't weigh it. They don't even want to pick it up when I ask for it because it's a check back. I mean, it's a bring on the plane bag. So what are you nuts? You're charging me all this money for an oversized bag when I check it. But I can bring the same amount or heavier on the plane itself. So what are you actually charging me for? Are you giving me. Are you giving the money to the people because they have to lift this heavy thing? Or is it for gas and fuel? Which is what I thought it was. It pissed me off. It makes me go, okay, so If I bring two 100 pound suitcases on the plane, I get to go through with all my stuff. My wife brought a suitcase full of potatoes once. We'll get into that later.
Miranda
Wow.
Raven
And they had to pay. And I was. So we could have brought it on the plane, babe. What are you nuts?
Miranda
She didn't have to pay because you made me open the suitcase in the middle of trying to check it and then rearrange everything and move bags and things.
Raven
You brought potatoes, honey. So whatever I asked you to do after doesn't count.
Ben
That's not.
Josh
It doesn't matter.
Miranda
But I'm just saying potatoes. We didn't have to end up paying. Cause you made me move all the sides.
Raven
I'm just. I think it's ridiculous now that I know that you can bring whatever at least 75kg I think it is on the plane, you don't have to pay. You guys hack. You're welcome.
Miranda
What are you nuts?
Josh
What are you nuts?
Raven
What are you nuts?
Miranda
What are you nuts?
Ben
So good.
Miranda
Okay, so here's my. What do you. Nuts. We recently bought a house and we've been redecorating, or not redecorating, decorating and furniture is crazy expensive. It's crazy expensive. And we're trying to do this thoughtfully and make, you know, smart choices and make the right purchases. And I have to tell you that almost every piece of furniture that has arrived to our home has been damaged, has been broken. And I'm talking. When you're spending like thousands, thousands of dollars on a table, I expect that table to arrive perfectly. If I'm spending thousands of dollars on a dining room fucking chair because my wife thinks that it is super comfortable and fits her well.
Raven
I'm not the chair on the table. You're the chair.
Miranda
Whatever. Don't interrupt the story. I was just cruising. Just be here. We have to spend all that money because she loves this chair and it comes damaged, we have a problem. So my thing is, is everyone just making things on the cheap, cheap and then hiking it all the way up, up, and then we're all just paying it?
Raven
Yes, yes.
Miranda
Because we're all nuts.
Raven
Because we're all.
Ben
We are totally.
Josh
What are you, nuts?
Ben
What are you, nuts?
Miranda
What are you, nuts, man?
Josh
We've also never ordered furniture that arrived not broken. So I think that's like a universal thing, that furniture always arrives broken. I don't know. I think the person. The white glove service, they don't give a shit. They're just chucking it, throwing it into the truck, no care. But those were great.
Raven
Witty.
Josh
And nuts. Nuts.
Ben
So good.
Raven
Nuts.
Josh
I need to hear about the potatoes quickly before we wrap. Why were you bringing potatoes on the plane? What are you nuts?
Miranda
Yes, actually, I am for potatoes. So I really love purple sweet potatoes. They are my favorite.
Raven
They're very good for you.
Miranda
I eat them several times a week, and unfortunately, the places we travel don't have them. So I have to go to Erewhon or go to Sprouts and get all my purple sweet potatoes and put them in bags.
Raven
This trip was really fun. Cause it was my mom, her and me, and my mom, she knows my wife, but she didn't know my wife packed potatoes. And so I'm looking, she's like, baby, why are you carrying all the bags? I'm like, no, don't worry about it, Mom. We get there, she opens it, she goes, is that a fucking potato?
Miranda
And they were. And the thing that was really frustrating.
Ben
Was your mom's like, there better be coke in there.
Josh
This better be a decoration.
Ben
Otherwise it's very nerdy.
Miranda
I had planned so beautifully. Like, everything was so nicely done and organized. And then we're in the middle of the airport, and Raven's, like, throwing open the bat. Move those potatoes. Hand me this. Putting her. My potatoes in her backpack and taking my thing. I was like, oh, my.
Raven
Okay. On. On a. I know. I'm sorry, babes. I'm sorry about that. But we got through, you guys. My question to you is.
Miranda
We did get through.
Raven
We got through packing. I am a psycho when it comes to pack. I need it to be neat and beautiful and placed. And my wife is now, too.
Miranda
Like, the little I'm not is now. I always have been.
Raven
That's why I love you. How are you guys? Are you guys, like, big packers? Like, even when I have to pack the car, I'm like, babes, it's Tetris. Let me do it.
Ben
Yeah.
Raven
Now that you have kids, how's your packing skills?
Ben
Yeah, you have to get them perfectly packed, and they need their sound machine and their books and their things so that, like, you're. It's a week out process and you're slowly adding on and then you incorporate them into it. My son Max loves to pack. It's a carry on. I know my things. It's so easy. I took a carry on to Europe for two weeks.
Raven
Like, oh, my God.
Ben
I do everything I can to not check.
Miranda
What? That's a. That must be a child star. Have to go quick type thing. Because whatever.
Ben
Probably.
Miranda
Or just a Josh and Raven thing.
Ben
Yeah, could be. Can't connect to anything, really.
Raven
Not really. I'll buy it when I get there.
Ben
Phone.
Raven
Well, and keys. I could buy anything else.
Ben
I could get anywhere, period. Ben, take us home. And please, I was gonna say so.
Josh
Raven, Miranda, plug anything. Like what?
Ben
What?
Josh
I know there's Tea time, but what else? Anything we want to talk about.
Miranda
Well, please watch and listen to tea time, which is on YouTube and anywhere else you might get your podcasts. What else, babes?
Raven
You can check me out on Scrabble on the cw and I'm writing a book.
Josh
Ooh, amazing.
Raven
And all of our socials are our names. Miranda, Mayday, and Raven.
Ben
Thank you guys.
Josh
Miranda, Raven. This was like, unbelievable. Thank you guys so much for coming. So fun. This episode is 5 stars. Otherwise. What? And nuts. Listen to us wherever you get your podcast. Watch us on YouTube, share our clips, Instagram and Tik Tok. We're blowing up on Tik Tok Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time. We have 56. We have 56,000 followers on Tik Tok.
Miranda
I love it. Thank you for having us. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.
Podcast Summary: Good Guys – Episode: "That's SO Raven and Miranda"
Release Date: April 3, 2025
In this engaging episode of Good Guys, hosts Josh Peck and Ben Soffer welcome special guests Raven and Miranda from the Tea Time podcast. The conversation weaves through personal experiences with fashion, body image, relationships, and more, offering listeners a blend of humor, honesty, and insightful discussions.
Ben and Josh kick off the episode with their signature humor, briefly introducing Raven and Miranda. The initial moments set a light-hearted tone as they dive straight into topics close to their guests' hearts.
Notable Quote:
The conversation begins with a discussion on the practicality and comfort of jeans with stretch versus those without. Josh humorously admits his loyalty to stretchy jeans, sharing his frustration with rigid pairs that tend to rip.
Notable Quotes:
Miranda adds her own experience, highlighting the discomfort and self-esteem issues caused by jeans that have shrunk after washing.
Notable Quote:
Raven and Miranda delve into more personal territory, discussing the challenges of body image, particularly focusing on chafing. They candidly talk about how physical discomfort can impact daily life and self-perception.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts empathize with their guests, sharing their own experiences of physical discomfort and the measures they take to alleviate it.
The discussion shifts to the nuances of clothing choices, with Raven revealing her switch back to JNCO jeans for better fit and durability. Miranda explains how denim cuts affect sizing and overall comfort, emphasizing the importance of finding the right fit based on personal body shapes.
Notable Quotes:
Ben humorously comments on the extensive range of jeans sizes in his household, reflecting a common struggle among men to find jeans that fit well.
Josh shares his positive outlook on the physical changes following weight loss, particularly focusing on the strength developed in his thighs. Raven and Ben echo similar sentiments, celebrating their newfound physical capabilities and the strength that comes with it.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation highlights the empowering aspects of overcoming physical challenges and embracing one's body.
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Raven and Miranda's personal relationship journey. They recount their initial connection, the heartbreak of a breakup, and their reconnection during the COVID-19 pandemic, culminating in their marriage five years ago.
Notable Quotes:
Their story underscores the importance of resilience and timing in relationships, resonating with listeners navigating their own romantic journeys.
Raven and Miranda share their philosophies on marriage, emphasizing continual personal growth and mutual support. They discuss the concept of soulmates and the idea that a successful marriage involves both partners pushing each other to grow and evolve.
Notable Quotes:
Their insights challenge traditional notions of marriage as merely a romantic union, presenting it instead as a dynamic partnership focused on joint and individual development.
In the interactive segment, listeners reach out for advice on planning Jewish weddings and navigating conversations about attractiveness within relationships. Raven, Miranda, Josh, and Ben offer practical tips and heartfelt advice, blending humor with sincerity.
Notable Quotes:
They also tackle delicate topics like responding to questions about attractiveness, advocating for honesty blended with sensitivity to support partners' self-esteem.
Notable Quotes:
The episode concludes with the lively "What Are You Nuts?" segment, where hosts and guests vent about everyday annoyances. Topics range from disappointing food deliveries to the overzealous packing habits of parents at little leagues.
Notable Quotes:
Their relatable frustrations and humorous delivery provide a cathartic end to the episode, leaving listeners both entertained and validated in their own minor grievances.
Before wrapping up, Raven and Miranda promote their own projects, including their podcast Tea Time and Raven’s role as the host of Scrabble on the CW. They encourage listeners to check out their shows and social media channels for more content.
Notable Quotes:
Josh and Ben sign off by reminding listeners to rate the podcast and follow them on various platforms, ensuring continued engagement and growth of their audience.
Conclusion
This episode of Good Guys masterfully balances light-hearted banter with deep, meaningful conversations. Through discussions on fashion, body image, personal relationships, and everyday frustrations, hosts and guests create a relatable and entertaining experience for listeners. The inclusion of humor, honesty, and practical advice makes this episode both enjoyable and valuable for those seeking genuine connections and insights.