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Josh
The following podcast is a dear media production. Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the Good Guys. A mother's dream premium podcast team. Make it your weekly routine. It's a Good Guys.
Ben
And if you don't give us five stars.
Josh
What are you nuts?
Ben
What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys.
Josh
They're not the great guys. We're just the good of good of the good guys. Mazda morons. Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with a guy who I love deeply. Even though we have little debates, we have our little spats, and we go back and forth, but that's just because.
Ben
We'Re both fucking smart. We're smarter than you. Oh, I love you. You do love to push my buttons.
Josh
But do you think you're pushing mine?
Ben
No, because I don't ever bring it up. You are the. You are the creator of the button. I. Then once you have created the button. Okay. No, it's not.
Josh
Turn up if you want to sit in gaslighting.
Ben
We're sitting. We're sitting in our room. Okay. Me and you, we're sitting in the cave. Josh. Okay. And you invented the wheel.
Josh
No.
Ben
Okay. Playing. I then dreamcast the wheel. I used the wheel. I didn't make it. I used it. I used your cart. Okay, well, you were. You didn't even. I didn't ask you permission. You went off, you were scavenging. I used your car to carry all of my vegetables. But you made the cart.
Josh
First of all, what's in this cave? Did we order dominoes?
Ben
I don't know what's in the cave. We're probably having sex.
Josh
Yeah. You know, I could easily be in love with a man. I just don't want to have sex with one.
Ben
I just. All that. I just want to say it's impossible that you just had all of these just humans in caves, these men in caves. They're animalistic men. They were having sex.
Josh
I think that's assumed right.
Ben
If we had zero social. Because right now we're living. By the way, I'm doing it now. I'm introducing a button. Maybe you agree with it, maybe you don't. I think maybe you do.
Josh
Oh, you.
Ben
This is the first time I've ever done it. This is my first button. This is my first button.
Josh
You DM me clips. But you're like the drunk uncle at Thanksgiving who goes, so Obama.
Ben
Yeah. By the way. So he's great. I love him. He's amazing. I love him. By the way, what a speaker. That man can talk. No, I really did love Obama. Voted for him too. On the. What was I saying? Social construct. Josh, if we didn't live in a society that pointed out everybody's sexuality, a lot more people would be fucking. Okay. A lot more people would be.
Josh
It's really a shame.
Ben
And it is a shame. And that's why we look at 1700s. It was fashionable for men to wear heels. Why can't we get back there? I'm down to wear a heel. Okay. It was. It was the fashion. We just. We just took away all the fun from guys.
Josh
Sydney Sweeney is the new face of Jimmy Choo. Could you imagine flat feet peck over here as the face of Jimmy Choo? Me and four inch stiletto strutting.
Ben
It would be amazing. Nobody would buy them, but it would be amazing. You would need to shave your legs. Are you down to shave your legs?
Josh
Yeah. And I'm not. I'm not an excessively hairy kid like you. Like, I'm.
Ben
You're hairy enough that if I saw you on an ad, I wouldn't buy the shoe.
Josh
Could you imagine with Jimmy Choos like this? With my. With my Blundstones, but like, you're on the 6 train and I'm on top of the seating area like this. Hello.
Ben
Shaved. I think it's a 10 out of 10. I think it would sell like hotcakes.
Josh
I've done otherwise. More for a brand deal.
Ben
I think we should do it. I think we should make the heel for men.
Josh
Do you want to know?
Ben
I don't know the name of it, but man heels, meals, meals, meals like that. It all comes back to food. It's always, we're so fat.
Josh
You know how depraved I am. I remember I was. This is like at the height of like my body insecurity, but I had lost it all the way. And by that I mean like 2017, where like, I still was like, now I'm a dad and I'm almost 40, so I don't care. Like, I've worked really hard on my body. It's not perfect. But as the good thing is, as a man, as you work out and you get older, more people are giving up, so you actually start to eclipse those people who are naturally in such better shape than you.
Ben
Yes.
Josh
But I just remember, like, there were so many things that I would audition for or parts that I would get where they'd be like, oh, there's a love scene or there's a pool scene and I'd be like, over to the director. Going, like, hey, do you mind, like, if I figure out a way to, like, not be shirtless on camera? Because I was insecure. Anyway, I get hit up by a social media company. They go, hey, we have a brand deal. I'm like, I'm listening. Like, Bravo has a new show, and it involves, like, this fun thing where, like, people are kind of, like, naked in it. Like, would you and the great influencer Matt Kushal be willing to run around Austin during South by Southwest in nude underpants and nothing else? And I said, For 35k, I'm in. Insert picture here. I did that shit, dog. Like, you did that? Yeah, bro, I'm nuts.
Ben
I'm really happy that you did it. I didn't know where that story was going. I think that you just. Actually, that's not true. I was going to say something mean, which is that I think that you just, like, say that you don't have a nice body so that I tell you how nice your body is. But I actually think that somehow you don't realize that, like, you're in great shape. That said, it really just doesn't matter. Like, I'm not. And it took me. We've spoken of this before. It definitely took me a while. Like, it could not have been a more insecure upbringing. Like, even. Even through my early teens. Like, I have. I have this distinct memory. I was 16 years old. I was on an Israel trip during the summer. And, like, like all of us, that's like, the last year of, like, Jewish summer camp. You go to Israel and every. I loved polos. I was in, like, a big polo, whether it was American Eagle or Arapostel or whatever. Like, classic, classic stuff. I would wear an undershirt under all of them because I didn't want people to see my nipples always. Because I had, like, big fat nipples. And it's just so funny.
Josh
It's AOL screen name, Big Fat Nipples.
Ben
I still have big fat nipples, but now I don't care. I don't. I don't know what it is. I don't know what changed. I just. I. I do not give a shit at all. I don't. Like, I'll be. You want me to take off my shirt here? I'll sit here nude. I don't care. I'll sit here on the podcast nude.
Josh
I'm just imagining your friend that you're texting and their mother going, who's bigfatnipplesaim.com? oh, my God, he just took his shirt off. You should be more worried about that shoulder hair.
Ben
G. No, the shoulder hair is.
Josh
It's the shoulder hair for me. It looks like you're. It looks like you're wearing a sweater vest.
Ben
The shoulder. That is. It's my sweater. That's what they always said. The shoulder hair is a constant reminder of my lineage, Josh. Hey, this is where I come from.
Josh
Where's Siberia?
Ben
This is Bratislava. This is. This is. Can I put back on my shirt or how long should I stay shirtless? No one wanted it off, by the way. You just quit. You absolutely need to watch us on YouTube because otherwise you're just listening in the car and you don't see that I'm shirtless. I'm shirtless. My belly's out. My nipples are hanging.
Josh
Dude.
Ben
And I just want you to really good. I don't care. Even if I didn't look good, Josh. I don't care. I'm that fat old man on the beach. The. That doesn't care. I swear.
Josh
95 pre ozempic Ben isn't ripping his shirt off.
Ben
You don't think so?
Josh
I don't think so.
Ben
5050. Let me put. I'm taking on my headphones but back on my shirt. Even though I don't want to let. Let it be known that I've been peer pressured to put my shirt back on.
Josh
Leave it on.
Ben
The whole shirt was off the whole time.
Josh
Maybe we get. Maybe what we do is we figure out a way to, like, get tokens, right? And people. We should do the reverse onlyfans. We start naked and people pay us to put clothes on.
Ben
I love it. Please. That's a big tip. Please.
Josh
That's a big tip, Ron. I guess I'll button one more.
Ben
Oh, that's so good.
Josh
Wayne wants me to put on a turtleneck. That'll be 2,000. The. It ends with the ski mask.
Ben
That's so good. That is unbelievable. Oh, my God.
Josh
Oh, man.
Ben
What are we doing, Josh? We need a Patreon.
Josh
Should we. Can we handle one more episode a week?
Ben
I think we could handle more. And I think. Josh, I think that. And I like talking about this live because I would like people's opinions. Like, I don't want to put out a Patreon that people don't want. But we have a difficult time being topical on this show because of the way that we record. And I do think that if our Patreon was literally just me and you FaceTiming on our phones at home or zooming on our computer at home, the second that there's some type of a current event that we want to talk about and releasing a 30 minute episode. I feel like people would love that. And it's so. It doesn't have to be high tech. Like, that's. Patreon is not necessarily high tech. Patreon is just. You're getting exclusive inside access to us. And like, I feel like we. The same way that we talk. Like we could talk all the time. Like it's five o' clock and we want to rip it for a half hour and we're both in our house. Why not? What do you think?
Josh
I actually think that if we did a daily 30 minute show that we filmed and uploaded and. But the problem is I don't. I think it should be on YouTube too. But yeah, I mean, I literally think Benny and Joshi morning show would be a fucking monster.
Ben
I love it. I absolutely love it. I don't think we need to jump straight to five apps, but I love it.
Josh
No, I think that.
Ben
And I think that if we.
Josh
I don't even want to do one.
Ben
But I think that if we gave them one, how about we do this? The Patreon, it starts at one episode a week, and it's the equivalent of a weekend roundup. Every Monday morning. We recap what happened that weekend.
Josh
But is the weekend exciting for the news cycle? I feel like that's when things go quiet.
Ben
Okay. Or every Friday.
Josh
I like it.
Ben
Week roundup. Okay. Where everything that happened that week we discuss. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Psygnos. Folks, as people who love GLP1s, we are obsessed with. With glucose. And the reason we're obsessed with glucose is because you know how I complain on the podcast that when I eat a bagel from unnamed bagel stores, all of a sudden I want to fall asleep? That's because my glucose shoots up straight to the moon. And that's a. What are you nuts? So, folks, it's nice to know what foods and when shoot up our glucose. And that's where Cygnos comes in. Perhaps you're trying to manage your weight more efficiently. Perhaps you're trying to understand how foods interact with your glucose levels. Or. Or maybe you just want to understand your hunger signals. That's where Psygnos comes in. Because psygnos helps you track your glucose so you can understand the way that your body reacts to foods. Okay. Reacts to foods. And it's super important. A couple of stats here. You know that 73.6% of US adults are classified as overweight or obese. It's sad, but true. It hurts. It hits me right in the chest. But it's true, folks. We're all a little bit big. And 88% of Americans are classified as metabolically unhealthy. If my doctor told me that, I'd tell him to go F himself. But it's true. And global diabetes diagnosis are projected to reach 1.3 billion by 2050. That's a lot of diabetics. Okay? That's a lot of diabetics, and we got to do something about it. So I'm telling you from experience, I think that Psygnosis is a product that perhaps you should look into because Psygnos again allows you to understand your glucose levels by packaging an AI powered platform for deciphering unique metabolisms with a continuous glucose monitor, a CGM or biosensor, which enables users to see how food choices, timing, activity, stress, and even sleep affect their bodies in real time. It's important to learn which foods actually cause spikes, so maybe you eat a little bit less of them or you at least know when to eat them. You can also get in the moment alerts when your glucose is rising, plus personalized suggestions like taking a quick walk that would help you lower your glucose. I'm telling you, folks, any way that you can learn more about your body? I'm all in. Any way that you can learn more about what you're putting into your body and how it makes you feel? I'm all in. And so is Cygnos, folks. Cygnos took the guesswork out of managing my weight and yours and gave us personalized insights into how our bodies work. With an AI powered app and biosensor, Signals is helping us build healthier habits and helping us stick to them. Right now, Signos has an exclusive offer for our listeners. If you go to cygnos sig n o s.com you get $10 off select plans with code good guys. That's signos s I g n o s.com code good guys for $10 off select plans today.
Maddie
Hey, everyone, it's Maddie here, host of the Bad Broadcast. If you're looking for some good, clean positivity, I'm not your girl. Because over at the Bad Broadcast, we dive deep into all the things we love to hate. Bad dates, bad bosses, bad roommates. All while finding the humor in it. We also chat pop culture, relationships, food, and all things nostalgia. Think of it like a sleepover with your best friends where you get to vent, laugh, cry, and watch your favorite chick Flick. You can listen to the bad broadcast every Monday, wherever you get your podcasts, or you can now watch the full episodes on YouTube. Remember, to be safe, be kind, be hot, and I'll see you on Monday.
Josh
Have you been free farting more lately? Because I find at 38, I'm just letting them go.
Ben
I. I feel terrible for Olivia. Poor Olivia. Is she okay? Is she on the floor?
Josh
Not here, not now. No, I can't. I still abide by the social contract. But today at Equinox in the locker room, I was like, hey, Jim.
Ben
I'm loose as a goose in a locker room. I used to not be thousand percent. You could catch me walking around naked. I'm not that guy that's brushing his teeth naked, because that is just unnecessary. But yeah, it used to be I'm wearing a. I'm wearing a towel, putting on my underwear under the towel. No, I'm taking off the towel and I'm putting on my underwear. And if you're in there with me, you might see my pecker.
Josh
Yeah, well, it's part of the.
Ben
It's fine. It's just me. It's just me being me. Do I sometimes release farts? Absolutely. I will not release farts, though, Josh. Willy nilly, if I had a beef stew last night, but if I'm eating normally and I think that it'll be like a nice respectable. It could smell, but it's not anything that will murder you. I'm in. But if you're bubbling. Gotta hold that in.
Josh
Me and the peck boys, we rip them non stop in front of each other and. But now my son.
Ben
What do you say?
Josh
Welcome to the club. But now my younger son, Shai, who's almost three, is becoming more verbal and. And it must be the vaccines, and he's becoming more verbal and so now he just. When I do it, he looks at me and goes, dad, you pooped. Nah, son. Don't put that on me, dog.
Ben
Like, not like that. I can't believe you're gaslighting your son and he's three. I sharded. I didn't. That's what he's saying. You sharded. You did what I told you not to do. You can do it when you had a normal meal, not when you had a beef stew, not when you had a big fat hot dog. God. Gotta be careful, Josh. Yeah, gotta be careful ripping all those toots. You never know.
Josh
It's just in the safety of our little living room. Although the other day I. I was. It was early in the Morning, it was like 5:30 and I just woke up early. And as we know, I like to crack an ice cold energy drink when I wake up in the morning. It's a real treat.
Ben
I had an unbelievable flavor today, Josh, of an energy drink.
Josh
What was it?
Ben
I had a Celsius cherry apple. Oh, wow. It was delicious. It tastes like a candy apple. Insane.
Josh
The thing about Celsius is like the people that they've decided to sponsor. I feel like Celsius might be a little too naughty for me.
Ben
Like, I think that Celsius is just so fucking huge that they know that anybody, everybody in the world is a potential customer. They should be advertising on porn sites. Have we spoken about this before? The cheapest CPM is to advertise on a porn site. You can get the most eyeballs, spend no money, but nobody will do it except for a porn company because it's porn. Then you have association with porn. Celsi, you should really be advertising in porn.
Josh
It's also efficacy because I don't think I've ever skipped an ad quicker than when I'm on pornhub, my boy.
Ben
Sure, but what about product placement? All of a sudden she's being, oh, I gotta go. What about product placement?
Josh
My boss knocking at the bathroom door. Let's go. No, I'm kidding.
Ben
Product placement, Josh. What if you see they're stupid and there's a Celsius can right on the.
Josh
Table that I'm for, like Manuel Ferrara's gotta like get some energy before, I don't know, male porn stars.
Ben
But I'm just saying, what if Manuel Ferrar is finishing in a can of cell skits?
Josh
James. James goes looking cute, honey. One set. Hold on. Take off those espadrilles.
Ben
Take off your Merrells.
Josh
Yeah. Oh, I see we have the same search history.
Ben
60 and over, 60 and over, wearing Merrells, drinking Celsius.
Josh
That's my keywords are meta meursault.
Ben
Those are my pronouns. Meta musil. That's funny. By the way, if we don't get a Celsius deal out of this, capitalism is dead. We're not getting it, are we? They don't want us. We're not cool enough.
Josh
Celsius once was like, we'd love to send you some product. I said, thank you. That would be so nice. My wife drinks kiwi guava every single morning. Like she has one type. That's all she drinks. Celsius, kiwi guava. They go, here's a variety pack. I'm like, dog, you missed it.
Ben
Guys, send me kiwi guava. Send my man kiwi guava again. If you don't show up to your house with a fucking pallet of kiwi guava.
Josh
So true.
Ben
There's a problem going on, okay? This is a big celebrity.
Josh
I know.
Ben
Yeah. Energy drinks are cool. What's your favorite energy drink?
Josh
Well, I'm gonna say Celsius now. We're too.
Ben
No.
Josh
We'Re too invested, by the way.
Ben
We're too deep.
Josh
Am I gonna do a whole Celsius shtick and be like, actually, I like C4?
Ben
Yeah, no, no, no, you're right. We're too deep. We're way too deep. We're way too deep.
Josh
I. Yeah, I've been having some rough. I gotta tell you about my eating day on Sunday because.
Ben
Tell me.
Josh
I literally decided. I took a week off from working out and I just did cardio and I let the tendons heal, let things, the fibers connect, and I really felt great. But Sunday, I said, I'm not gonna work out at all, but I'm gonna eat smart because I'm not burning any calories. Day started off great. I had my typical Starbucks double baked egg white fetter wrap love.
Ben
Delicious.
Josh
So good. Then I said, I probably need another one. Then I got bored. I had two protein bars. I go, whatever. I'm still crushing health, right? Then my wife says, we're gonna have some family over for dinner. Let's watch football. And we're actually gonna do something fun. We're gonna do a Houston's inspired home menu. I said, are you trying to get lucky? By the way, I'll answer that. She wasn't. So her sister, the great Blake, made the spinach artichoke dip. The wonderful cousin Maddie, she made the kale chicken. Like the mambo salad. Kale chicken, Asian vinaigrette. Beautiful. My wife, she made gorgeous sushi rolls. She had the stacked Osaka style.
Ben
Wow.
Josh
That you love.
Ben
Go, Paige.
Josh
And she made a macadamia nut roll because she's vegan, but it was. It was like a spicy macadamia nut. Beyond healthy fats coming out the yin yang. Then she makes the fried chicken sandwich.
Ben
Yeah.
Josh
And then my mother in law made ice cream cake. Ben, I ended the night not knowing where I was in my own home.
Ben
I don't even. I can't think of a time like you. Talk about privilege, Josh.
Josh
Oh, I'm privileged now. Took a while. You.
Ben
You having your wife just say, hey, tonight, Houston's night at the house. What? Are you kidding me?
Josh
Yeah.
Ben
That is. I love my wife.
Josh
To death.
Ben
That would be. Hey, can you make me Houston's tonight? And by the way, I prefer it that way. I actually said this to her yesterday, because I cook basically every single night. I make her dinner. And I've come to realize that a thousand percent is my love language. I love making her dinner. I. I love it to the point that if she doesn't want me to make her dinner, I'm hurt. I'm hurt. I don't know what it is. It's a recent thing. Did I tell you that I'm baking bread, Josh? I'm becoming a baker.
Josh
Ooh, like young Jacqueline.
Ben
Yes. I'm on day nine of my sourdough starter. I'm feeding that bitch every day. You want to hear the name? I'll announce the name today. I'm naming you. Ready, Mrs. Doughfire.
Josh
Nice.
Ben
You like it? You have a Janaya Doefire, dear. Because it needs to be a bread pun. Needs to be a bread pun. No, by the way, I didn't know that. Somebody told me. I said, yeah, I'm going to name her. What did I say? Sallie Mae. And everybody jumped down my throat. They're like, that's the name of the student loan office. I'm like, I didn't know that. Like, leave me alone. No, I said Fannie Mae.
Josh
Fannie Mae.
Ben
I said Fannie Mae. And they're like, that's the name of the student loan office. No, it's Sallie Mae. Okay. But I didn't know that it needs to be a bread pun. So it's going to be Mrs. Dough Fire or Euphorgenia Do Fire, dear. But yeah, it's trad dad season. Okay. Trad dad.
Josh
What is trad dad?
Ben
Trad dad is a trad wife. Is a wife that does cooking. Baking. You don't have to be just like, it's great for people who want to be tried.
Josh
Why not be a trad couple? Okay.
Ben
Yeah, I completely agree.
Josh
And by the way, share it. I do all the laundry. I love it.
Ben
Yeah, I would say that. I think that it's. I more think of trad wife and trad dad. When I think of the kitchen, it's more cooking, baking, spit, spinning your own butter or whatever.
Josh
Churning butter.
Ben
Yikes. Spinning. Spinning your butter. Sounds like the new drug.
Josh
He was bent over. Overdose from spinning his butter.
Ben
I just had the greatest idea, Josh. Ready for this?
Josh
I'll be the judge of that. Go.
Ben
It's not actually a good idea, but it's genius. Okay. It's a workout class, Josh. It's a spin class. And at the end of it, your wheel is spinning heavy whipping cream into butter. And at the end, you walk out with your butter. We attach it to the front wheel.
Josh
I love it. And the heat in the class will have no effect on the butter.
Ben
None. None. There's the fan from the thing on it. It's amazing.
Josh
Love it.
Ben
This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Caraway. Folks, you know we love caraway here at the Good Guys Podcast in the Softer Home and the Pekhome. And I don't know if you guys have noticed. If you haven't, then you haven't been keeping up with my Instagram enough. But Ben Safer, celebrity chef, has been baking a ton. Not only have we been making sourdoughs, today we tried a challah. Look, the challah, it wasn't that gorgeous. It has nothing to do with caraway. Caraway's pans were fantastic. And let me tell you, the baking pans, these are phenomenal. And they're the exact same color as your regular pans because everything is color coordinated and it's gorgeous. But these are non toxic products, okay, that are still gorgeous and work so incredibly well. So why not use them? Why not use caraway? Why would you prefer an ugly toxic pan? I don't understand you people. I don't understand. What are you, nuts? It's honestly a woody and nuts to not use caraway. 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Josh
Have you ever been to a spin class?
Ben
I have, but I can't do bikes. They hurt my ass. You.
Josh
You have to develop a callus. I don't want it on the taint.
Ben
I don't want it. I don't want an ass. Callous. Taint.
Josh
Callous is my new band.
Ben
I don't want it. I'm out. Don't put me on a bike without a cushion. No good.
Josh
Could you do like a group fitness class with like a nice 90s hip hop beat and you're like stepping and moving and would you do that?
Ben
Yeah. Yeah. I've done Barry's before. Barry's Boot Camp. I've enjoyed that class. That's more elliptical, lightweights. That's not. I can't do the spin classes. I just don't like it. Like, I don't like my. It's the ass. I think my ass is just simply too flabby and bony.
Josh
I get it. I used to when I would do, I had a CrossFit era, no big surprise. And they would have you, you know, it was just a hard rubber floor. And so they would say like, in addition to everything, you'll do like 50 crunches and my poor tailbone on that floor. How did I get a raspberry?
Ben
It's too much. Get a raspberry. It's too much. It's just. It's not. It. Like, I don't know, some people, they're born with asses that can take a pedal a seat like that and others can't. And others can't. I can't. I'm sorry.
Josh
Should we get to a story?
Ben
Yes.
Josh
Ex Astronomer HR exec Kristen Cabot's husband dropped shocking twists after Coldplay Kiss Cam scandal. The astronomer HR exec Kristen Cabot's husband Andrew Cabot, says the two were already separated before she was caught canoodling with former Astronomer CEO Andy Byron at A Coldplay concert in July. What the hell, man?
Ben
That makes it so awful for her.
Josh
No fair, dude.
Ben
No fair, dude. But he. But the guy was still a cheating scoundrel.
Josh
Sounds like it.
Ben
That's just. That's very. As I say, it's unfair to her. She did know that he was being a cheating scoundrel. So it's still not great. But it is definitely. It's definitely not great that she got dragged down with the ship like that if they were, in fact, separated.
Josh
Yeah, I mean, that was. That one was heavy. That is.
Ben
I. I wonder if you asked Chris Martin to do that all over again. He doesn't do that. He doesn't draw attention to it like that. Right. I think we spoke about this on a past episode. Like, he could have easily said nothing, and then this would have been nothing, but because he said something, he drew attention. How many kiss cams there are? No, I don't ever. I don't ever investigate. And look at these people. I'm like, ooh, I wonder if they're cheating. Like, no, I assume they're together, but I don't know their names. I never ask anything. You think he does it differently or you think he does it the same?
Josh
I think he does it the same, but I think you can say I wouldn't have done anything differently. But also, it's a shame what happened, right, Olivia?
Olivia
Yeah, I'd say so. But also, like, when the camera goes to them, they both kind of freak out in the video, if I remember correctly. So I'm like, they brought attention to themselves. They could have been, like, just normal about being there, but I don't know. That's, like, kind of where I'm like, you made a big deal out of it. Of, like, I'm not. Oh, no, we're not together. But the kiss cam makes it look.
Anonymous Caller 1
Like we're together, right?
Ben
Yeah, they absolutely did. He made it viral. But they 1000%. If they just kept their fucking cool. Like, I'm so. I'm so annoyed at them. For them, if they literally made out on camera, we know nothing.
Josh
Yeah, they definitely would have still been caught, but it wouldn't have been a world event.
Ben
And it was a world event. World event. Crazy. We're so, like, the things that we just, like, throw up on a pedestal and talk about, like, it's so dumb. Like, crazy. Fuck us.
Josh
Well, I've never identified so much with a story in my life. Did you know that Charlie Sheen got liposuction after a prostitute called of fat?
Ben
Wow.
Josh
Thin skins. Charlie Sheen underwent weight loss surgery after a sex worker flippantly commented on his gut. He revealed in his new memoir, Book of Sheen. By now. The actor made the revelation while recalling the time he and his brother Emilio Estevez were in Toronto to film the 2000 film rated X. The two portrayed the Mitchell brothers, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, Sheen explained that on his final night in Toronto, he decided that his celibacy streak needed closure and he went to the matchmaking yellow pages of Bell, Canada. The Two and a Half men alum, now 60, proceeded to order a gorgeous brunette his words to his hotel room. And while enjoying a post euphoric cigarette with his Canadian instagirlfriend, Sheen said that the woman reached over, slapped his bare stomach with a room filling thwack. And said, what do you say, fatso? Yup.
Ben
For round two. Oh, my God.
Josh
Ouch.
Ben
Oh, my. That is unbelievable.
Josh
And they say Canadians are kind.
Ben
Oh, by the way, I love her. It's great.
Josh
That's good.
Ben
That's good. I would probably get liposuction too. That's tough.
Josh
Would you have round two? I. I'd move past it. I'd be like, hey, if you're offering, that hurt. But, like, you know, let's keep our eye on the prize here.
Ben
Yeah, I think I would just. You paid for it already. Get your money's worth. I don't know, like, whatever. Like, maybe say something back like, yeah, badass. She's like, I'm fit as a fiddle.
Josh
Ben's. Ben's saying to the hooker, like, do you take amex? I'd love the points.
Ben
It's only been 59 minutes. We have 60.
Josh
Is there any kind of reward program?
Ben
Should we, in the final minute, spin a dreidel?
Josh
Would you like me to daven for one of your family members in poor health? Only five people are gonna get some of our jokes, and I love all of them.
Ben
Me too. I ordered specifically 10 hookers so I can have a minion. That's good.
Josh
That is good. Should we listen to a speak pipe?
Ben
Yes.
Josh
I agree. I really, I agree. If you want to get advice, ask us questions, go to speakpipe.com goodguys. Keep it brief. Brevity is key. Let's hear from someone good. I want someone really? Oh, this is great. This is a rare, very good Woody Nuts now. Ooh, we don't want your Woody nuts. Is they're not good. But every now and then. And trust me, even though I say this every week, they call. I can hear it right away. I know Josh says We don't want your woody. And that's its. But what's the deal with traffic?
Ben
Delete.
Josh
It's literally that I'm like, are you just reading? Did you just have AI come up with bad Seinfeld bits?
Ben
What's the deal with traffic? I'm like, by the way, what is the deal with traffic?
Josh
Horrible.
Ben
Awful.
Josh
But this is a good one. So this is from Kimberly.
Ben
Man.
Josh
You know, someone else wrote in on, and they were like, josh, why are the speak pipes so hard for you? And the title was from Anonymous. I don't like when people know the show that well.
Ben
I feel like, you know.
Josh
Yeah, okay. From Kimberly. In the meantime, while we wait for this to load, want to talk about gun control?
Anonymous Caller 2
Hey, good guys, I know you say not to send in the what are you nuts?
Anonymous Caller 1
Is, but I have to to so.
Anonymous Caller 2
Do with this what you will. So I was at a European wax center. I went to a new location, and I saw a new girl, and I went to get a Brazilian wax. Now, usually when they do the butt part, you're supposed to. Or my girl usually says, bring your knees to your chest. This time she told me to turn over and lay on my stomach and then wanted me to hold my butt cheeks apart with my hands. Now when I tell you my soul left my body, I don't want to be in this vulnerable position. I don't even want to be showing you my areas. Okay, but, you know, I have to make sure everything's looking good. But now you're having me lay on my stomach and spread my butt cheeks apart with my hands. So I do it. I'm not happy about it. And as she's waxing my ass, she goes, oh, my God, I love your manicure. Like, don't be looking at my hands holding my ass apart. I mean, this is already a weird enough situation as it is. I think just say nothing. Just get the job done, and let's move on with our lives and pretend like we never saw each other.
Ben
Right?
Anonymous Caller 2
I mean, all I have to say is what are you nuts?
Ben
I don't know.
Anonymous Caller 2
That's all I have to say.
Josh
Pretty good, right?
Ben
That's pretty good. The whole thing. I. I feel like she maybe made the what are you nuts? About her manicure. The what are you nuts? Is the spreading of your ass. That's the what are you nuts? The whole thing is nuts. European wax center is nuts. There are people just going to, like, have strangers wax their buttholes. Like, can't we do this in a. In a different way? And why is it called European wax center? It should be an at home service. Josh. This should be something you can do yourself. Does that not exist? It's so intimate.
Josh
It's like a spray tan. It's better if you can have it at home. But sometimes you got to go to Suntan's to go in Sherman Oaks in the Valley. You know, sometimes you need to get waxed at a strip mall because you found a Groupon and you're feeling adventurous.
Ben
Have you ever been waxed?
Josh
I have. I told you this about my. I had my back wax before I went to Hawaii with Paige when I was.
Ben
Yes, 26. You did. I'd never been on a vacation. Retell this story just in case people missed it.
Josh
I was 25, maybe 26. 25. I was 25. I'd never been on a vacation before. I was dating Paige for a year, and I was like. I had just gotten a residual check that I was not expecting. I'm like, let's go to Hawaii. So we go to Hawaii and we have a wonderful trip. Except before we go, I had noticed I had a couple back hairs. Now, as you can tell, I'm just. I have chest hair. I'm just not. I'm not like a hairy dude, you know, like crazy. So it was like a couple, but I'm like, I should get it waxed. I go, they wax me hard body karate. And they didn't tell me, hey, we just exfoliated a huge part of your skin. Go home, take a shower, go to bed. I went to 24 Hour Fitness after, and I did a little lifting sesh, did a little chest pectorals, laying on the bench. Back to the bench, doing full. So halfway through Hawaii, Paige goes, did you get bit by sea lice? I go, I don't think so. And when I tell you this was one month of me, the first doctor said, put this cream on and lay in the sun and let the sun bake the cream into your back. I felt like a baked salmon roll out there.
Ben
Okay.
Josh
And then finally, I had to see a dermatologist who was like, oh, you need medication.
Ben
So, yeah, no good. This is. You don't need waxing, Josh. We are, as God made us, hairy. Very hairy. I'm so hairy. My back is so hairy.
Josh
It's gorgeous, Olivia. I mean, I love it. It's normal.
Olivia
Yeah, it's very normal. Very normal. Like a very regular thing. But I guess a European wax center, too, would be like the fast food version of, like, you know, a home setup or something. Like that. But the spreading back to this. The spreading of the.
Ben
The cheeks.
Josh
But this is pretty vulnerable to.
Olivia
That is no good too. Or it's like they have you get on your knees and. But like you're. You would be on your stomach, on your knees, you know, like kneeling and then bent over.
Josh
Okay. Like. Oh, yeah. Like in child's position.
Olivia
Like child's pose. Yeah.
Ben
What do you think of the. What do you think? What percentage of women do you think fart during a wax? 100.
Olivia
Not 100.
Ben
Like, at one point in time. If you're a regular at European Wax Center, a thousand percent sure, one time that she's asked you to go like this, you're farting.
Josh
Another generalization from Ben Safa.
Ben
It's true.
Olivia
I'm sure it happens frequently.
Ben
Frequently.
Olivia
I'm sure it happens.
Josh
I'm just trying to.
Ben
Oh, my God. Can you imagine being the person. Josh, doing the waxing and just get on. Oh, my God. That would suck.
Josh
Dude, that feels really vulnerable.
Ben
Yeah.
Josh
Sorry, Olivia, that wasn't directed at you.
Ben
No, no, that. That feels very vulnerable.
Josh
That was for the people. Sorry.
Ben
Oh, that's so funny. In case you.
Josh
I'm glad we have video evidence of.
Ben
This because you're audio only. Josh actually got ass naked. No, I spread his cheeks. He spread his cheeks. And then we lifted it and put him in jeans, but he was really naked in the original.
Josh
Cut. You know what I do? Does the X7 your car have an app connected to it?
Ben
It does.
Josh
And are you able to remote start?
Ben
I don't know how to use it. Yes, it does. I don't know how to use it, but it does seemingly have that function.
Josh
Do this because I know you will love this for the wonderful Ruby. And I know Claudia would love it.
Ben
Turning on the air conditioner.
Josh
Yes.
Ben
Itch.
Josh
Do you do that?
Ben
No, of course not.
Josh
Okay. I don't blame you because I've had other cars with apps and they never work. It's really, really hard. But the Tesla app, I must give Elon his due. It's spectacular with its efficacy. I be turning on the air conditioning. I just know we're gonna be done in about 20 minutes. My car is gonna be 62 degrees when I get in.
Ben
That's so nice. There's nothing worse than getting into a baked car. Like, terrible. Except sometimes I don't know what it is. Sometimes I'm like, oh, you know, my back was hurting me, and I live for it. It's rare. I normally don't like the baked car, but sometimes you know that boiling hot leather on your skin? I think so is it self sabotage? Like, do I like hurting myself?
Josh
I left my car out in the sun the other day and it's been like 90 degrees in LA. And then I jumped in. It was after the dentist and I had to give money to the parking attendant and my arm touched the side of the car as I put my hand out to give the ticket that I'd been baking in the sun. And I literally went, here you go.
Ben
Oh yeah. No good. That's terrible.
Josh
No bueno.
Ben
This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Home Chef. Folks, summer is over. It's gone kaput. We're getting into this gorgeous, cozy fall season. Back to school. We are here folks, and I'm telling you the summer is over. Relaxation is done. You need a routine. You need a routine. And you don't need expensive takeout and unhealthy options. You need a great routine. And Home Chef delivers fresh ingredients and delicious meals directly to you. Save money this fall and simplify your routine with flavorful meals that everyone will love. Even if you cook. Even if you cook folks. You love going to the grocery store. That's a. What are you nuts? Home Chef. I'm telling you folks, just give it a try. And Home Chef delivers fresh ingredients and Chef designed recipes conveniently to your doorstep to simplify your cooking experience. Why do you want to go to the grocery store? What are you nuts? Users of leading meal kits have rated Home Chef number one in quality, convenience, value, taste and recipe ease. Whether you prefer classic meal kits with pre portioned ingredients, quick 30 minute recipes or oven ready options, microwavable meals or a dedicated family menu, Home Chef has everything you and your family need for hassle free delicious dinners. Home chef has over 30 options a week and serves a variety of dietary needs plus it's economical. Home Chef customers save an average of $86 per month on groceries. That's quick math. About 1000 bucks a year. That's pretty good. And when meal planning ends up on the back burner, check out Home Chef's new five ingredient meals that simplify prep with super easy easy recipe steps using just five fresh pre portioned ingredients. How easy is that? For a limited time, Home Chef is offering my listeners 50 I love a good deal 5 0% off and free shipping for your first box. Plus free dessert for life if you go to homechef.com goodguys that's homechef.com goodguYS for 55. 0% off your first box and free dessert for life. Homechef.com goodguys must be an active subscriber to receive free desserts. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Saks Underwear. Folks, Saks has been making men's underwear that's been described by publications like Men's Health as life changing. And their goal is to get more men to experience their patented ballpark pouch technology and see how this next level comfort can benefit their day to day lives. Saks has been changing the game since 2006 and his partners on board like professional athletes Max Crosby, Aaron Gordon, and of course me and Josh, professional athletes. Folks, Saks makes underwear for everything from lounging on the couch to high intensity sport built for comfort first in every situation. I'm telling you folks, you ready for this? You're ready for this. You okay? You're walking around, it's a hot day, maybe you are at the ballpark and all of a sudden you got BSTL ball stuck to the leg, sweating. All of a sudden you're like, what are you nuts? I wish I was wearing SAX underwear to keep the boys secure. They solved the problem. It's so rare in underwear that you actually have innovation like this. But that's what Saks did. Unlike your normal pairs, like your Calvins, maybe your Costco, Kirkland's, your Hanes, Saks underwear provides comfort. You notice when you put it on and then forget about it all day. No more nuts stuck to the inside of your thigh. I'm sorry, mom, turn this off, okay? Turn this off. And by the way, it's a wonderful gift. Maybe you have a husband or maybe you have a boyfriend, or maybe you have a brother. I actually would say that you getting this gift to for your brother. It's very weird you going to your brother and saying, hey, I know your nut sticks to the side of your leg. That would be a strange gift from a sister, but from a spouse or a girlfriend buying it for her boyfriend. It's a wonderful gift. An absolutely wonderful gift. So folks, today, if you're thinking about making a change, I would recommend changing it to Sax because look, you change your oil, you upgrade your phone, you rotate your sneakers, but you're still rocking those old stretched out boxers from college like a nut. Your underwear is the one thing you wear every single day. Saks underwear gives you breathable fabric, no right up legs and a pouch that keeps everything in its lane. Upgrade your drawers, upgrade your day. Check out sax.com. that's sa xx.com today s a xx.com.
Josh
Saks.Com next speak pipe is from somebody good. From Anonymous.
Ben
Hi Josh and Ben. As two Jewish kings, I would love your outsider's perspective on this. Last year my husband and I had our first baby boy and he was born on Christmas.
Anonymous Caller 1
Now we're starting to think about how.
Ben
Do we celebrate his first birthday this year while also celebrating Christmas. Do we spend the morning being birthday celebrations and the evening evening being Christmas celebrations?
Anonymous Caller 1
How would you do this?
Ben
Thanks. What a beautiful birthday, being born on Christmas. I hope you named him Jesus. Let's see. I think that. Well, he was just born, right Josh? They said he's a year old. Yes. So for now it doesn't really matter what you do. But I like the excuse of having a Christmas themed birthday. That sounds amazing. Like what a so much fun. You have a built in theme. Like we are out here. We have to pick dumb themes like Ruby Tuesdays and grooving with Reuven. You have Christmas, you have Christmas though. Even though he's gonna turn into Buddy the elf, you gotta be really careful. He could turn into just like a Christmas freak. Like such a fanatic. Because every year, Christmas, this Christmas, this elf, Santa, cookies. You gotta be careful with this kid. Okay, be careful. I warned you. Be careful. That's it for now. It's really fun. What do you think?
Josh
I like it. And I think what you'll have to do with what we do with my young son Max is his birthday's at the end of December and so he's out of school. A lot of families are away on vacation. No good, no good. For a birthday party.
Ben
No good.
Josh
So we do his birthday always early December, school's in, we get to celebrate him. We have a full blown birthday and then on the day of his birthday we do a little something, we'll do a family dinner and maybe go to the mini, mini golf park or something. So it's kind of like he gets a double.
Ben
I love this. Honestly, especially because for kids it really doesn't matter. Pick the date that works for you for sure. If it's, you should do it earlier when the kids are in school. I never understood this. With summer birthdays, these poor kids don't get anything. Like do it, do a birthday party before the summer like because they're still kids. That said, once you're over the age of 18, if you try and celebrate your birthday more than three days away from your regular birthday, you are nuts. It's a. What are you nuts? Your birthday came and gone. I don't give a shit that it's on a Wednesday. It's over. It's over. Grow up. But if you're a kid, grow up. You were two months earlier. Who gives a rat?
Josh
Oh, oh, it's your birthday week. Oh, it's your birthday. It's your birthday week.
Ben
Yeah, no good. No good. Did I invent who gives a rat? That's not an expression.
Josh
No, right.
Ben
Who gives a rat? Not even close. I think it's a rat. It's a terrible expression. Who gives a rat? Who gives a rat? Gives a rat?
Josh
Or what about, have you heard this news saying I don't give a rip?
Ben
Yeah, I've heard it. I think I like it. I don't know. I don't love it. Right. What is it?
Josh
Not good.
Ben
Who gives a rip? What does it mean?
Josh
There's even new. Have you seen the new Spike Lee Denzel movie on Apple plus, highest to lowest.
Ben
No, I need to. I. I love Denzel. Not as much as you. Othello, first row, but I love Denzel.
Josh
I love Denzel and it's Spike Lee, so, you know, that's a great duo. But anyway, yeah, the movie's really good, but there's talk about new lingo and the alpha generation sort of, you know, the fun words they're using. And that's so fun.
Ben
Now, any others come to mind?
Olivia
Skibidi.
Josh
Skibidi. What is that?
Ben
I don't know.
Olivia
I don't know what it means.
Josh
I. I did.
Ben
Wait, wait, wait. In what context are people using skibidi?
Olivia
Skibidi. Toilet. Do you know what?
Ben
Basically, it's. It's like some weird YouTube thing, but, like, kids use skibidi as like, that's whack. Or that's. That's like.
Josh
That's like dope.
Olivia
So kind of like gnarly. Yeah, like it could be either or.
Ben
Yeah.
Olivia
Okay.
Ben
What is this? The Dictator with Sacha Baron Cohen, you are HIV Aladdin positive and negative. Aladdin? Skibidi is yes and no. No. It doesn't make any sense. When was the last time you've seen that movie?
Josh
Right, Josh? Of course.
Ben
Unbelievable. Sacha Baron Cohen, what a gift to the world.
Josh
Have you watched all of Ali G?
Ben
I've watched a lot of it and not in a long time, but a lot of it. I like Sasha Baron Cohen is my. My north star. He's so funny. So good.
Josh
The best is when he's interviewing the guy from. From the DEA and they put out all these drugs on the table and he goes, what are these effects of these drugs and he goes, well, this one makes you hallucinate. This one could give you, you know, respiratory failure. This one could make you collapse. And he goes, rot. What's the negative effects of these drugs?
Ben
Oh my God, he's a genius.
Josh
He's a genius. Have you seen there's a new viral video of like, I don't know, these anarchists, like, like people like the antifa types were in Brooklyn, in Crown Heights and they were like giving people a hard time. And you just see this incredible crowd of like Brooklyn kids like, who do not fuck around, literally using this word. They're like, yo, antifa, scram, Scram dog. And then you hear another kid go, hey, yo, skedaddle.
Ben
I was like, yo, antifa, squibbity.
Josh
Yeah. I was like, these are my kind of kids. You saw that video? Scram. Hell yeah.
Ben
I love scram. That's a great word, scram.
Josh
Pretty good.
Ben
I gotta bring that back. That's good, that's good.
Josh
Pretty good. Do you have. What are you nuts?
Ben
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Josh
Here, we'll do one more. You take your time, we'll do one more. Speak pipe. In the interim, let's hear from a little person named Anonymous.
Anonymous Caller 1
Hey, good guys, question for you. My grandfather recently passed away and he left his grandchildren a trust. The trust was written out to my dad's children and to my uncle's children. Now to put that into perspective and break it down a little for you, I am 30 years old and my brother is a little younger than me, a few years younger than me. We recently found out within the last eight years that my dad ended up having a one night stand before my mom in college and found out that he had a child that he never knew about. So how fun is that? As you can imagine, we ended up really loving him and getting to embrace him. And he is part of our family. He doesn't come to a lot of Christmases or anything like that because he has his own family, but he was able to meet my grandparents and establish a little bit of relationship. Now the trust says to the children of my dad's name, technically we grew up with my grandparents and we are the children of. But legally he is also a child of my dad. Now the trust has a good amount of money in it for all of the kids and it needs to be split evenly. I don't know if I'm just feeling like morally it would be weird if he took it. I don't know, would you guys take it? He has the option to opt in or opt out. I don't know. I just feel like he didn't establish that relationship. Like he didn't grow up with my grandparents. It feels a little weird. What are your thoughts?
Josh
This is. First of all, this is why I love money. Because this is the call we grew to love him. He's wonderful. He even had a relationship with our grandparents. That being said, he's not getting a penny.
Ben
It's nutty. Okay, first of all, imagine having a trust fund like that tall, like, hey, gramps, lefties. A sack of cash. Like, oh my God, crazy. So crazy. Like, if you've ever been left money, I need to know what that feels like. I've never been left money. Thank God. I'm happy that my parents are alive. Like grandparents. Nothing. I've got nothing from nobody. And let me tell you, I have to imagine that's the greatest feeling in the world. Probably like winning the lottery even though you've lost a loved one. But you probably get over it because you have a sack of cash. It's like a good consolation prize. Give, like encourage this man to take the money. Okay. Like totally. The children of. He's a child of. You have a relationship with him. I thought this was going to go totally different. Okay, there's a estranged family member. You never met him and you're worried like, oh, you have to give him money, but you don't know him. That's such a different story. I would still even say that he's entitled to that money because he is child of. But then, okay, there's at least a question. You know, this man, he knew your grandparents and, and this is a question they had.
Josh
They were alive to amend the will. They could change the wording.
Ben
This is no question. This is a child of 100%.
Josh
Morally. But morally, I want more money.
Ben
You're lucky that you have any. Honestly, after hearing the speak pipe, all of it goes to that guy 100% because he gets the whole sack.
Josh
You know what? You can tell me. And if I'm off base here and do not worry about hurting my feelings, I immediately identify, right? Because like my father came from means like he had money, right? He had an apartment in the city, he had a house in upstate. And like I. And he passed away 10 years ago. And I know I have siblings who inherited his money. Now, granted, and he never paid any child support to my mom. Nothing. So like, thank God I'm okay. You know, like I always got a Hallmark movie in the wings. Shout out. But like, you know what? I'm Saying like, wouldn't I be technically entitled to some dough?
Ben
Have you seen his will?
Josh
No, I have no. No contact with his family whatsoever. I don't know if they know I exist.
Ben
I would be curious, Josh, to know.
Josh
I love it. To know this is how people think Jews talk. I would be curious.
Ben
I would be curious to know. I could see your horns if you were in that will. I think you're in that will, Josh. I think they hid it from you.
Josh
No way.
Ben
I think you're in that fucking will. I think that he. I think you're in that will and you have no relationship with them, so why would they ever reach out to you and say, hey, by the way, you were in the will? Nope. I think you're in that will.
Josh
You think that he didn't tell his family and didn't acknowledge my existence for 27 years, but he admitted his will?
Ben
People do that all the time. You hear about that, where people on their deathbed unleash, like it's his way of making things right. Unless he's just a total, and it's very possible, total bad guy. Totally possible. I think there's at least a 25% chance that you're in that will and entitled to compensation. And we need to reach out to JG Wentworth. Did they handle it? I don't know. They handled something. What's the entitled to compensation? Is that JG Wentworth? 877 cash now if you need an annuity. Who needs. No, that's somebody else, I'm telling you. Maybe it's Barnes. We don't talk enough about the fact that there was Salino and Barnes and Salino died in a car crash, but Barnes just whipped, threw Salino off the billboards and now it's just Barnes Group. We don't talk about that enough. Okay, but back to a wheel.
Josh
We just stole their billboard for our good guys. Billboard?
Ben
We did. We ripped it right off. We're going to get sued and we're going to use the money that your dad left you that you're going to go and claim to pay for the lawyer.
Josh
Feel free to DM me anyone who knows how I can just get a quick bag without having to meet my siblings. I know enough people. I'm busy.
Ben
You don't need to meet them. Somebody needs to reach out and find out if you were in that will. You have to have. You have to know. I think you were in it. Olivia, do you think he was in it?
Olivia
I think that if he was in it, then somebody. Because like the executive Siblings? Yeah. The executor of the will would have to, like, the lawyer. They would have to reach out to you. And also, wouldn't you think if, like, because I remember you saying they're like quite a bit older than you, right? Like 20 years older or something? Like, if you're, you know, in your late 50s, early 60s, and all of a sudden you find out that you, like your dad had an affair in this instance, like the siblings, everybody that I know at least would be like, well, we want to like, at least try to meet them. Especially if there's some kind of like, legally binding contract associated with it. I feel like there would have been a path crossed. But yeah, that's. I, I'm not sure that he did it.
Ben
What if, what, what if the family member is a lawyer and the executor and they're. They buried this shit. Ok. I don't know, Josh. I think that there's at minimum a really good script.
Josh
Yeah. And what if in the will the wording is Josh from Drake and Josh, I bequeath $100,000.
Ben
Don't tell yourself short, Josh.
Josh
And I'd be like, bequeatha is my drag name. Should we get to what are you nuts?
Ben
We should. Our what do you. Nuts Moment of the week is our gripes with people, places and things. Whatever's sticking in your craw, Josh. You got one?
Josh
I do. My what are you nuts Is, oh, so my kids have to go to the dentist. And so I was, I don't know why, but I, you know, you set these appointments from your last appointment, so it's like six months in advance. So I look at the calendar and I realize it's at 9:30 in the morning for Max and Chai in the middle of September during school, like a school day. I'm like, oh, well, that won't work. So I call her and I say to the lovely receptionist, I'd love to find a time either before or after school. She goes, you know, over the next month and a half, we only have time available. Like, she's like, are there any, like, early dismissals or late drop offs? They go, hold on, you're a kid's dentist. I'm like, you have no time available after 2 or before 9. And I was like, what are you nuts? She's like, how about noon on Wednesday? I was like, he'll be at peace.
Ben
No, no, there, look. Children's pediatric dentists, pediatricians in general. You see after school, before school, construction workers. Sorry, you're working in the Middle of the night. It's enough, okay? No more construction during the day. Wow. It was my Woody and Nuts. I had it. I had it. I had it.
Josh
Is that your Woody and Nuts construction?
Ben
No, no, no. I had my Woody and nuts. Where did it go? Where'd it go? It was in my head. My head. It'll come back. It'll come back. Just. Just give me one second.
Josh
Oh, we'll give it. Give you all the seconds. You should have taken your lion's mane. This is what happens. He's in full turmeric withdrawals, unfortunately.
Ben
It's Ruby. It's Ruby. I'm gonna blame him. It's his teething. He's up every hour.
Josh
What is that? Does he have any teeth yet? Little cute canines?
Ben
No, nothing yet. Once he gets teeth, he's getting a job. Does he have teeth? Are you kidding me? Can't have teeth. Okay. Fuck.
Josh
He's gonna have bad breath. Just as a heads up.
Ben
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Josh
TV's gonna give him bad breath.
Ben
I got it, I got it, I got it. I got it. Yeah. Thank God it came back. Okay, my wedding at the moment of the week. And first I want to preface and say I typically just take an Uber X. Uber X's. That's what you should be taking. Don't spend extra money on black cars or any of this crap. Nobody gives a rats. Nobody gives a rat. We're making that an expression, ok? Nobody. Nobody gives a rats. That said, sometimes, on occasion. You want to treat yourself again? I very rarely do this. I really am a man of the people. Ok? You'll see me getting out of my Corolla once in a while. You want a Suburban? Okay, you're ordering a black car, you're paying up for a black car. Josh, a black car is a Chevy Suburban or a Escalade or maybe a GMC or a Yukon. These are big, beautiful cars. You know what it is, okay? If randomly they want to send you something crazy. An S Class Mercedes. Sure, maybe I'll take it. A Infiniti is not a black car. I don't care how big it is. I don't care. An Infinity QX60. This is no black car. I'm sorry? This is no black car. I paid. This was to the Lady Gaga concert. I couldn't cancel it because we were running late. It was $80 for a two row infinity. What are you nuts? No Escalade, Suburban or wow me. Sorry, Infinity. You're not wowing me. Excel at a minimum, right? Bad for me.
Josh
All this to hear Abracadabra four times.
Ben
I know. Terrible. You know what else is terrible, Josh? Not giving this episode five stars. That would be terrible. That's a. What are you, nuts? Listen to us. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch us on YouTube, share our clips, Instagram and TikTok. Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see ya next time.
Olivia
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.
In this episode, Josh Peck and Ben Soffer deliver their trademark blend of banter, candid confessions, and comedic rants on everything from body image and masculinity to subscription services no one asked for, viral celebrity scandals, and awkward waxing mishaps. The duo debates “reverse OnlyFans,” brainstorm the “trad dad” lifestyle, and field listener questions about birthdays, inheritances, and etiquette—always with irreverence and a hint of chaos.
[00:26–03:08]
"You are the creator of the button. Once you have created the button, then I use it."
— Ben [00:54]
[02:17–05:37]
"Could you imagine flat feet Peck over here as the face of Jimmy Choo? Me and four-inch stiletto strutting."
— Josh [03:08]
[05:37–08:07]
[08:10–10:48]
"We should do the reverse OnlyFans. We start naked and people pay us to put clothes on."
— Josh [08:10]
[10:48–14:20]
[14:20–19:54]
"Celsius, you should really be advertising in porn."
— Ben [17:12]
[20:02–24:17]
"It's trad dad season."
— Ben [23:36]
[24:17–29:19]
[29:17–30:41]
[30:41–33:22]
[33:22–35:13]
[36:03–43:00]
[43:00–44:58]
[49:18–51:52]
[51:52–55:24]
[55:42–62:49]
[63:07–66:41]
[66:44–67:10]
The episode is laid-back, irreverent, and packed with spontaneous humor and relatable anecdotes. Josh and Ben’s playful rapport and willingness to overshare keeps the tone personal and entertaining, with plenty of explicit, tongue-in-cheek jokes. Frequent callbacks to Jewish culture, pop culture references, and off-the-cuff rants spice up the banter.
If you missed this episode, you’ll get a hearty dose of laughs, relatable grievances (kids’ dentist scheduling, Uber letdowns), and surprisingly thoughtful conversations about family, body image, and the ethics of inheritance. The true charm is in the moments between the topics: recipes for "trad dad" happiness, brainstorming disruptive subscription models, and the awkward reality of butt waxing and farting at home.
Josh and Ben’s "subscription service nobody wanted" is, in reality, the honest, laugh-out-loud therapy session we could all use twice a week.
For advice, laughs, or anonymous confessions, check out more at Good Guys every Monday and Thursday.