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- [00:02]
A
The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. I'm Josh Peck.
- [00:05]
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And I'm Ben Soffer. And we're the Good Guys.
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A
There's a lot of guys out there.
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B
And we're the good ones.
- [00:16]
A
Mazda morons. Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with a father to be. It's Ben Saffir. Simmentova. Mazel tova. Mazel tova.
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B
Mazel tovo.
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A
Mazel tovo.
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B
Simon Tovo. Mazel tova. Mazel tova. I should have been a cantor.
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A
Totally.
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B
We should have been cantors. The cantor guides. But yes, insane news. I don't even know what to say. Like, yes, God willing, I'm going to be a father. And it is like, honestly, like a dream come true. Like, I feel like everybody has been asking, like, my entire life because I've been with my wife my entire life. Like, when are you having a baby? You've been married for seven years and they say that you, like, can't time these things. But like, we took our time. It's when it felt right. And I'm like the most excited I've ever been for something. And to be able to host the podcast with somebody that I love, that loves his kids, that is a great dad. Like, I don't know, I just feel like we're going to transform. We're going to transform from the good guys to the good dads.
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A
The good dads, what? Okay, so take us, start us in the process. Let's go from the beginning.
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B
Yes.
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A
What were the conversations? When did we start? What did it look like? The people want to know.
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B
So we started like, really talking about it at the beginning of the year. And we were like, this is something that we want to do. We're not exactly sure when, we're not exactly sure how. Like the, like, what's crazy to me is this idea that people all over the place are just getting pregnant by accident. Like, it's hard as hell. Like, you have a very finite window to be able to shoot your load. I don't want to overdo it. But like a very finite.
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A
Too late.
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You did.
- [02:15]
A
You were not graceful with that one.
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B
To come in the pussy. You have a very short window, a.
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A
Small window to bust in your hoe.
- [02:24]
B
And like, these people are just like doing it by accident. And these women are like, in the bathroom and they like, think they're taking a shit and they have a baby. Like, I don't know if that's a wives tale, but like, this idea that, like, you can get pregnant and Be pregnant and have no idea is insanity. It's complete insanity. So we started thinking about it. We really started trying over the summer and yeah, struck gold. And I don't think that we're officially saying how many weeks, but we are progressing and we are expecting a beautiful baby software at some point. So we're really excited. Really excited. It's really scary, man. We spoke about this last night. Like, it's scary. Maybe it's just because I'm like a neurotic Jew. But like, the idea of like talking about something that is actively happening but hasn't happened yet is very scary. That whole like, don't count your chickens before they hatch, like, I don't know how, you're just like, only excited. I'm so, so unbelievably scared. And God willing, everything looks good and you're going to hear me say, thank God, I'm turning into a rabbi. Like this is it. Like I'm thank God with everything, everything now, everything. I'm like, this doctor's appointment was great. Thank God. Thank God. Bh, like Baruch Hashem. Like it's so scary and I don't know, like, were you scared?
- [03:46]
A
I was scared, yeah. I mean, look, the Jews, we are wild with the amount of nerves and you know, we're superstition that. I mean, my buddy Len, his mother Silva, God rest her soul, like literally did not acknowledge that his wife was pregnant till the baby was here.
- [04:07]
B
Yeah.
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A
Wouldn't even talk about. It was like, you're having a baby shower. Poo. Poo. Poo. Unacceptable. Just because, like literally we don't do up. We don't what? We don't make nurseries. Like we don't do anything until the baby has arrived.
- [04:21]
B
No, we don't receive gifts. Like Claudia's email was just flooded with like every baby company on the planet and it's like we don't want to receive anything until we're so much further along or the baby is here. It doesn't take nine months to build a nursery, okay? We're not hiring these facocta construction workers that work at LaGuardia on a 10 year project. You could build a nursery in two days. The whole prep thing, to me it's just a bad omen. I don't like it. And I'm with Sylvia. Sylvia or Sylvie. Regardless, I'm with Sylvia. If I wasn't so public, I wouldn't be so public. But we're here. We're here. So now I just gotta learn to live with the really incredible blessing that is coming. And also managing my nerves in the process not to make it all about myself, which it isn't. Which is why, in case you're watching on Josh's YouTube, I am wearing a beautiful shirt with my wife's face on it. Because this isn't about me, okay? I'm going to make it about me, this episode for the views. But it's not about me. It's about her.
- [05:29]
A
It's about you right now, Ben. Listen, Claudia's having her tour right now. It's working. She got, like, a million Patreon followers out of this. It's about the good guys getting a little fallout. Please, we need it.
- [05:41]
B
No, that's Joy.
- [05:42]
A
This is Tim Walsh. We're bringing Joy back.
- [05:46]
B
This is literally an emergency episode. If I look sweaty, it's because I ran here from the gym. I'm wearing Claudia's merch because it's what was in the studio other than my gym T shirt. Like, we sprinted here. We're like, we got to capitalize. Three days late.
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A
So good.
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B
So, so good.
- [06:05]
A
Literally, Ben was texting me last night, and we were talking about how we failed to capitalize on this big news. And I said, nothing is more us than failing to capitalize on the biggest layup ever.
- [06:17]
B
I hope you guys loved listening to our thoughts on the election this past Monday.
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A
Two weeks late. Can I share with you, Ben, or can I share with the audience when the first time you told me that you and Claudia were open to trying or you were kind of beginning. Yeah, we were. I think it was. You were in la and we were on a hike, and it was beautiful. And I just remember you looking at me, and you said, you know, we have. I have some news. And I said, okay. And Ben goes, I've begun to complete inside of Claudia. And I was like, oh, my God. You were like, we are. We are trying to conceive, and it's very exciting. And I said, it Is that visual. Less exciting, but the fact that you're trying. Very exciting.
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B
I probably looked like this.
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A
It's so intimate, isn't it?
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B
It's so intimate. It is. It's beautiful. And then it's heavily rehearsed. Like, I don't know if, like, I feel like girls are always talking about pregnancy journeys and guys aren't, but boy, oh, boy. Yeah, tell us about it, Ben. We got a specific amount of time. That's the way that it works, folks. If you're just stooping every day of the month, you're not going to get pregnant if you're shipping during the very specific period of time where the woman is ovulating, then you have a chance and it's timed right. Like you only have a certain number of hours to get it done. And I'm not going to lie, from a male perspective, sometimes it's difficult to wrap your head around it. Like sometimes you're not ready and you got to psych yourself up and get ready. And thankfully, I was able to. I will divulge more. I will not divulge more.
- [08:23]
A
I am always ready. Are you kidding me? Please.
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B
Okay. You are always ready. What about a full carbon meal? Me and you go to Carbone. Okay. Yes, we go to Carbone. We are getting the bread basket. We are getting the chicken parm, we are getting the pasta, the gallon. We are getting the steaks. We are getting the delicious dessert at the end, maybe a cheesecake to make sure you are a little bit gassy. And then those beautiful tricolor. The rainbow cookies. The rainbow cookies, yes. And then Paige calls you and says, josh, I need you.
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Yes.
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B
No, you can't do it on its stomach like that. Oh, please.
- [08:58]
A
I would be fine, but I would just be like, there will be toots involved.
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B
And Josh, one toot moment's over. Then good luck getting Jimmy back in the saddle. Okay? When that moment's over, good luck getting him to ride that horse again.
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A
I call him James. I use the classic name. Not Jimmy.
- [09:17]
B
I don't do the abbreviation. Not Jimmy, not Jimmy. I call him Hans.
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A
Yes. Hans Duo.
- [09:26]
B
This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Prolon. Did you know that there's a nutrition plan that doesn't just help you lose weight, but actually has been shown to lower your biological age score? It's called Prolon by El Nutra. And here's the craziest part. It's a fast that includes food. Introducing Prolon, a revolutionary plant based nutrition program that nourishes the body while making cells believe they're fasting. What incredible. What an incredible thing. Researched and developed for decades at the University of Southern California Longevity Institute and backed by leading US Medical centers, Prolon helps promote healthy blood sugar, support cardiovascular health and reduce abdominal fat. But Prolon isn't a diet. Prolon is science. Science based on a Nobel Prize winning discovery in medicine. And this all starts with Prolon's five day program. Snacks, soups and beverages, all designed to keep your body in a fasting state while eating. It's unlike anything you've ever experienced before. So, folks, right now, Prolon is offering good guys listeners 15% off their five day nutrition program go to prolonlife.com goodguys that's P R O L O N l I f e.comgoodguys for this special offer. That's prolonlife.comgoodguys to get 15% off their five day nutrition program. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Caraway folks. You guys know that in the Safar Ashre household, in the Peck O'Brien household, at the Good Guys, at the Toast, we love caraway because caraway is non toxic cookware made modern. They have these beautiful, gorgeous looking sets, but they're also non toxic and they also work really well as a celebrity chef. I know, okay, I know these products. Fantastic. You should all use them. But let me explain to you what I've been using them to make recently. Yesterday I made the most gorgeous grilled pizza. I used my caraway griddle to grill the pizza. Then I used my saucepan to make the onions, mushrooms, garlic, a little bit of red pepper flakes, some olive oil. It was fantastic. I put that on my grilled pizza, added some ricotta cheese, a little bit of truffle cheese. It was like a truffle gruyere. It was unbelievable. A little bit more truffle oil and then I put it back in that griddle pan from Caraway, broiled it, and it came out absolutely fantastic. These products are unbelievable. And again, non toxic. All caraway products are made without any toxic materials like pfas, ptfe, pfoa or other hard to pronounce chemicals. It's truly easy cooking. We're talking ceramic, naturally non stick. Okay? So these are non stick great pans and well loved. It's not just me, okay? Over 65,000 people have rated five stars about their caraway kitchen. Now it's time for you to try it for yourself. The holidays are closer than ever, so get their gift in time. Visit carawayhome.com guys10 to take advantage of this limited time offer for up to 20% off your next purchase. Again, that's Carawayhome.com guys10 to get new kitchenware before the holidays. Caraway non toxic cookware made modern.
- [12:50]
A
Yeah, it's funny. If you over the summer at any time saw Ben going 110 miles per hour on the long Island Expressway. Back from one of our recordings, it's because Claudia told him that she was in heat.
- [13:05]
B
You ever saw me sprinting. Literally 140. So true.
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A
It's so beautiful.
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B
Yeah, it's beautiful. I actually can't wait. Like, I know and you like ground me if you disagree. I know you don't agree. Like, I was so born to be a dad. Like, I so cannot wait. I have such an amazing relationship with my parents, thank God. And I just know what it's like to be in a loving home. And I cannot wait to give this baby, like literally the ride of a lifetime. Like, I cannot wait. I am so excited. People think I'm insane. The way that I love and treat my pets. Like, if I can take even like the smallest bit of that into an actual child, I'm gonna make, I'm making an Albert Einstein. By the way, if they're stupid, I'm gonna kill myself. They can't be stupid, right? They have to be smart.
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A
Hopefully they are pretty and stupid. That's ideal.
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B
Are you kidding me?
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A
What do you want it to be?
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B
Actually, we don't want, we don't want too smart. We want gorgeous and just a tiny bit dumb.
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A
You want brilliant in a rat face. No thanks.
- [14:19]
B
No, that we know it all. No interest. No, No, I don't want that. You're so right. I don't want like a Sheldon Cooper or like Einstein or I guess even a Musk. Even though that would be pretty cool. He could take care of us if, if I give birth to an Elon Musk. 350 billion, 5 billion. Right to you.
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A
Thank you. I know. Let me get in at the ground level on best. You know the thing with your kid that you'll see is that you'll have no idea of exactly how they're going to come out. That's the one thing I always say. And I don't think you're like this. When parents go, oh, they're going to be a soccer star or they're going to be an academic or I'm going to get them into Harvard or blah blah, blah. I'm like, you have no idea what your kid's going to be. And I think, I truly believe that we as parents, it's our job to react to what they show to us is their passion is the thing that their proclivity and to honor that thing and to make them the best version of how they come out.
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B
Yeah. And I think that because we're both such big self starters, very entrepreneurial in nature, this idea of you can only be good at one thing is so absent minded. You truly can be great at whatever you want to be great at. Of course, physical gifts aside, right? Like you can't be great and be An NBA player if you're five, six, little Jewish? No, of course not. But like anything else, you really. I think it's just having parents from a very young age make sure that you know that you can do whatever you set your mind to. So I totally agree with you.
- [16:02]
A
I'm going to start giving you unsolicited advice in this podcast, and it's not going to stop until the beautiful baby is here. But the best advice I ever got. Because now that the world knows, and I'm sure you've already gotten it, who.
- [16:14]
B
Gave it to you? What celebrity?
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A
Jeff Garland.
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B
Yes, yes.
- [16:19]
A
Knew it from Curb youb Enthusiasm. Shout Out, Jeff. And I was. I remember I was. I was about to have my son Max, and I was just lamenting some neurotic thing about what. What was going to happen and how I was going to react. And he goes, let me stop you right there. He goes, you have no idea what kind of kid you're going to have. You have no idea if they're going to be a little colicky, if they're going to have this, if they're going to have that, if they're going to sleep really well right away or not sleep at all. He's like, all you need to know is that it's going to be great. It's going to be so great. And any minor inconvenience, like lack of sleep which happens or the fact that you can't do brunch as often is going to be so overshadowed by how great it is. And that's what I always tell new parents. Because I think people get like. Some have, like, a weird fetish for freaking out new parents and being like, sleep now. You're never gonna sleep again. Like, shut up.
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B
So dumb. I even have friends that, like, treat like the last days almost like a bachelor party. They're like, I'll never be able to see my friends again. So I'm gonna go and, like, go on as many golf trips as I can. It's like, you'll see your friends again. Relax. You'll probably see your friends more if your friends also have kids. But, like, life goes on. And life to exactly what you just said. It's beautiful. And I really, I'm very, very ready and very, very excited. Everybody's been wondering, why are Claudia and I on such a diner kick? We go to three diners a weekend. This is why. Because Claudia is really, really excited to leave the house around 9, 10 in the morning. And then really, really excited to be back in the house at 1pm and our weekends are very cozy. Like, our weekends are our movies and hanging and talking, and it's. We're so ready. We're so ready.
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A
Nesting.
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B
Love it. We're heavily nesting. Everybody's like, where are your final trips going to be? Like, I took my. I've traveled. Like, it's great. I don't know, maybe we'll go for a week to Florida or something. But this whole idea of this big final trip again, no, I will travel again. I will travel with this baby. Maybe not the points guy style. Brian is slinging Dean to Saint Tropez, which I wish I Jedi.
- [18:47]
A
Brian's on another level.
- [18:49]
B
It's unbelievable. Unbelievable. But this idea that your life is over. It's those same stupid guys that feel that way about getting married. Like, then why the hell are you getting married? Why are you having a kid? And why are you getting married? This is growth. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be exciting. It's supposed to be better, filled with purpose.
- [19:09]
A
It's all gonna be great. I find, like, as people with a certain level of privilege and access to working on ourselves and methodologies and all the things that people do, like, of the modern era, right? Like, you work on yourself and you become, like, the best, hopefully the best version of you as a single person. But then you enter a relationship and your spouse or your partner forces you to grow more, because now you're seeing yourself reflected through them, and you're seeing things you could have never seen on your own. And that pressure is pushing you in which to grow and to change because you have to accommodate this person that you love.
- [19:53]
B
Yeah.
- [19:54]
A
And then I feel like that hits a ceiling. And then you have a kid, and then the both of you are reflected through that kid, and it forces more growth and makes you have to be even more of a, you know, just of like a fully formed human being. And I'm kind of in on the whole process. Like, I always tell my wife, like, if I was on, you know, Chicago Med or, you know, Law and Order, Poughkeepsie, I'm like, I would just have. I would just have a gang of kids. Like seven, eight kids. Go to my nine to five. Have just a compound a soccer team.
- [20:35]
B
I love it. I love it. And I know that we're both big words of affirmation, guys. We love it from our wives. Like, Claudia recently, like, of course, like, you're going to have. You're going to have some mood swings during this time period.
- [20:47]
A
Oh, who, Claudia?
- [20:48]
B
No, not her. Somebody else. Not my wife.
- [20:52]
A
Oh, please. My wife.
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B
She's.
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A
We. Oh, yeah.
- [20:55]
B
Oh, yeah. Then. But then after that, like, she will look at me, and it's so sincere, and it's just like, I love you so much. You're going to be such an unbelievable dad. And, like, those words, I can't explain it. It's like heaven on earth. Heaven on earth.
- [21:09]
A
It's so true. And I think we're allowed to say what we just said and also in the same breath, be like, yeah, it's. It is really hard being, like, the. The partner to the person who is creating life in their stomach. Like, it is. So. I remember once at six months of being pregnant, my wife goes, I can't really breathe. It's because the baby was resting on her diaphragm and she couldn't breathe for the next four months. So, yes, there are certainly moments, but the truth is they are doing such a herculean task.
- [21:43]
B
Oh, my God.
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A
You suck it up. And you call me babe. You call me suck it up.
- [21:47]
B
No, I don't even need to. I'm in such, like, a good headspace. Like, I know. I know what's going on. Like, I'm fine with it. Like, I really just. Like, it's more than a herculean effort. I can't even believe it. Like, we went to a doctor's appointment recently, a doctor's appointment. And, like, I could see the baby being formed. Like, the first doctor's appointments, you're going, and they're like a pile of mushrooms. And then, like, as you start to see things, you see a heartbeat, you see a hand, you're like, oh, my God, this is, like, in you. Like, it's in your belly. It's insanity. Meanwhile, I have hands in my belly, but they're like chicken. Or like, go.
- [22:31]
A
Both.
- [22:31]
B
You just sonogrammed my belly. And there's a neck, but it's like a horse neck.
- [22:35]
A
It's just a big Popeyes billboard. Come on in. The biscuits are fresh.
- [22:41]
B
Is that an ankle? No, it's a chicken bone.
- [22:44]
A
Oh, my God. Olivia, what do you think of all this? I'm sitting back here just, like, on the verge of tears. It is, like, so beautiful and exciting to hear. Like, I don't. It's just such. I mean, how do you even begin to describe it? It's such an incredible, life changing event, and I'm just so excited to see you become a father.
- [23:04]
B
Ben.
- [23:05]
A
I feel really honored to, like, be a part of the show, too, as this is happening.
- [23:08]
B
Thank you. And I would be remiss not to mention that I did get a text yesterday. A mazel from Marshall.
- [23:17]
A
A Marshall. Mazel.
- [23:19]
B
Marshall did reach out and he said, mazel tov. I made a huge mistake. I hate it over here. I'm just kidding. Just the mazel. He doesn't hate it. We don't talk about work. We don't talk about work.
- [23:30]
A
We're not allowed.
- [23:32]
B
No, we don't talk about anything.
- [23:34]
A
Injunction currently talk about anything.
- [23:36]
B
Nothing. But I did get a. I did get a nice text from Marshall and a million other people. But the good guys, listeners should know Marshall, he's. He's rooting for us.
- [23:47]
A
Oh, God, it's so wonderful. I'm a big. I'm a big fan of having these little. These little jerks, these little humans, and it's all going to be great. And I don't know if you guys are going to find out the gender. You probably will, but I, my wife and I, we don't find out. Right. So then you have to spend every visit, which, as you know, towards the end becomes once a week sometimes telling the person who's gonna do the ultrasound if it's not. Because eventually they have people come in, text different people. It's not always your doctor, so they don't know. So you have to be like, we don't wanna know the sex. We don't wanna know the sex.
- [24:24]
B
Yeah.
- [24:25]
A
And every time they've given it away, every time there's been a random nurse who's been like, are you gonna do a circumcision? And I go on her, oh, no.
- [24:37]
B
Yeah.
- [24:38]
A
She's like, if it's a boy. And I'm like, you, you ruined it.
- [24:43]
B
That's terrible. Yeah, I'm sure that we will want to find out at some point, but knowing us, will want to do like a big gender reveal.
- [24:49]
A
Oh, no, don't start a fire.
- [24:52]
B
You know us. Why? Why not? Yes. No, we'll figure that out. But yeah, don't want to know just yet. It's funny that you brought up the text. I'll save it. But my. What are you nuts of these techs? Okay, honestly, it's. The whole ultrasound sonogram process in general is a big. What are you nuts? But I'll save it. Oh, I'll see. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Pretty Litter. Pretty Litter is a non clumping formula that traps odor and moisture. It's ultra absorbent, it's lightweight, low dust, and one six pound bag works for up to A month. It's absolutely perfect for cat owners. And this really gives and should give the entire cat community peace of mind. Because pretty litter changes color, indicating early signs of potential illness in cats, like urinary tract infections, kidney issues, and more. And if that wasn't enough, pretty litter ships free right to your door. So you never have to run out. You don't have to take these huge kitty litter bags taking up all the space in your house or your pantry. You get it delivered right to your door. You don't have to lug it. None of that, okay? You don't have to store it in your car. You just bring it straight from the car to your house. Every friend that I have that has a cat, they have pretty litter. They absolutely love it. They love knowing if their cat is getting sick. They love that peace of mind. They love the smaller quantities. They don't have to lug the huge bag. It has been a game changer. Completely amazing. So, folks, if you have a cat, you have to try it. Go to prettylitter.com goodguys to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy today. That's prettylitter.com goodguys to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. Prettylitter.com Goodguys terms and conditions apply. C site for details this episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Fresh Direction. Celebrity chef over here. Fork of July August Eats Slender September. Folks, there are two things going on here. One, I'm broke. I spent all my money on incredibly, incredibly expensive groceries. But two, and more importantly, I have lost so many hours walking the aisles of grocery stores looking for intricate ingredients when all I needed to do the whole time was go on fresh direct. I'm now using fresh Direct and my life is so much better because fresh direct is farm to kitchen food sourced directly from farmers, fishermen and ranchers and delivered straight to your door. And folks, you're paying for quality food. You're paying for quality food and somebody to shop in store for you. I mean, how much better is that? Normally, if you go on one of these other competitors sites, they're just shopping for food. But what shows up is an unripe avocado. Who needs an unripe avocado? I don't need an unripe avocado. I'm trying to make something today. I'm not trying to make something next week and wait for it to ripen. Okay, no good. Absolutely no good. And I can't even tell you how much time I'm saving because I don't have to sift through sad produce. I don't have to. They're doing it for me. And then the fresh avocados show up. Okay. Or the ripe bananas. And the convenience. Oh, the convenience is unbeatable. I can grocery shop for my apartment anytime I want. How easy is that? For over 20 years, FreshDirect has been delivering the freshest fruits, vegetables and meats to the tri state area. Don't take my word for it. Try it to believe it with $50 off. Ooh, that's good. Your first order, go to freshdirect.com and use code good guys. That's freshdirect.com code good guys. For new customers, save $50 on their first order. Terms and restrictions apply. See site for details.
- [28:50]
A
Well, I think we should get to a speak pipe so that we can. I think these are going to be some. Well, okay, first of all, I thought we could do a quick quiz, a little fun little quiz about pregnancy and facts about pregnancy. And let's see how down the clown you are. Let us see how much you know. Let us see about the adventure that is pregnancy. Did you know that after a couple of months of development, babies begin to do this in the chum? They begin to do this in the khum. Sorry, Olivia. They begin to hiccup.
- [29:32]
B
Oh.
- [29:32]
A
They begin to laugh.
- [29:35]
B
They begin to pee.
- [29:37]
A
Pee. A, B or C? Which one?
- [29:41]
B
Oh, oh, oh, oh. It's multiple choice. I was like all three of those things. They begin to hiccup. 1A.
- [29:50]
A
Sorry, it's P, C. Crap.
- [29:53]
B
What's really the difference between hiccuping and laughing? It's really the same.
- [30:00]
A
All I know is my son shy is a little hiccupper. And it's fricking cute. It looks like he's drunk.
- [30:04]
B
So what do you do? Do you scare him? Do you give him a nice slap on the back?
- [30:09]
A
I just let. I just watch him. I think he doesn't seem bothered by it, so it's hilarious.
- [30:13]
B
I have a question on this slapping on the back. Josh. There are young fathers in my orbit that are nursing their baby holding the bottle. Not like, teed out, bottle, baby. Okay, sure. Baby's done with the bottle. Then they flip them over, okay. And they're not gently trying to get a burp. They're like this. And I'm like, what are you nuts? You're going to break his back. Like I. Have you seen an aggressive slapper to get that burp out? And is it Necessary.
- [30:41]
A
As far as I know, the aggressive. Aggressive slap is only if they're choking. And then you can give them a. You can whack them one. Right? That's only. Yes, if they're choking. I have some people do the over the shoulder. Oh, I'm going to teach you all this. I am an amazing. I'm so good at this stuff. Okay, so first they'll do the kid over the shoulder. You put a little rag here so in case they spit up. They always spit up. It's so gross. Okay. And then they'll just do like the gentle tab. I like to take the baby like a puppet, right? And I put it on, on my knees so the legs are strewn here and the face. And I hold. I hold the face and the face.
- [31:17]
B
Is all like this, like the Rizzler.
- [31:23]
A
You know what I'm saying? And then I hold the face here and the back is here and I just give it like I'm giving like, you know, 30%. You know, 20, 30%. I'm not going full out. That's nuts.
- [31:36]
B
I've seen 60% from the gets.
- [31:39]
A
We're going to have to teach you. You're going to have to get on your swaddle game, my boy.
- [31:43]
B
I'm excited. I'm excited. I need to learn how to swaddle.
- [31:48]
A
You make that little baby burrito.
- [31:50]
B
I'm good with a diaper. Oh, I'm good with a diaper. I will be good with a diaper. That said, like doing cleaning somebody else's kids shit. Not for me.
- [32:02]
A
No.
- [32:02]
B
My own kid shit for sure. But like, I don't know, in an emergency, will I do it? Of course. But like, am I dying to change Shy's diaper? Not really.
- [32:14]
A
No, I'm not. I'm over it. It's enough already. Almost two. Well, he's only two years in a month, so we're about to start training. But it's enough.
- [32:24]
B
I've had enough.
- [32:26]
A
Well, now he does that thing where when kids start to like, become aware that they're using the bathroom and there's like a little bit of embarrassment about it. Like all of a sudden we'll just like see, see Shy in the corner of a room like this.
- [32:39]
B
And in case you're not watching on YouTube, you should be because Josh's booty is out. What Ben and he looked mysterious. I was describing for our audio only listeners and shaming them.
- [32:49]
A
Yeah. Like literally, it'd be like this. Hold on, hold on. This is why you need to watch us and not just do audio, you jerks.
- [32:55]
B
Well, now I can't see Josh either. Oh, now I can. Josh has an embarrassed look on his face. He's making a small duty.
- [33:08]
A
We'll be like, shy. Are you pooping? And he'll go, yeah, yeah. He'll tell us now. Be like, poo, poo. And then we'll have to go change him.
- [33:17]
B
At least he's telling you. That's nice. Oh, babe, I hate it when these kids are just soiled and you're like, did you shit your pants? And they're like, no. Well, you smell like shit, so. Did you shit your pants? No.
- [33:30]
A
Like, what, babe?
- [33:31]
B
Why are you lying?
- [33:33]
A
It's so good. The best is when they have an accident and you have to throw out their pants like you haven't lived.
- [33:39]
B
Just like it's like me and Kutchers.
- [33:43]
A
You haven't lived till you're in public and you're just like, we're gonna have to throw away the pants. It's so bad.
- [33:48]
B
Oof.
- [33:49]
A
Full blowout, babe. It's gonna be great. But the best is when you put them in their little swaddle and you're like, this is too tight. This is suffocating. This is nuts. And they just are so happy, and they're so tight, and their little clothes and they feel like they're back in the womb, and they're just like, off to dream world. It's so cute.
- [34:11]
B
So cute. Oh, my God, we're so cute.
- [34:13]
A
I know. It's really. It's. It's a really good time.
- [34:16]
B
Are there. Are there other questions on your pregnancy quiz?
- [34:20]
A
Okay, Olivia, feel free to weigh in on this. I'm Gonna give you three options for the heavy world's heaviest baby ever. 18 pounds, 20 pounds.
- [34:32]
B
Holy shit.
- [34:32]
A
22 pounds.
- [34:36]
B
20.
- [34:38]
A
I'm also going to go with 20. Sorry, guys. It's 22 baby. 22 pounds. The world's heaviest baby, Gracious was born in 1879 at 22 pounds.
- [34:50]
B
Okay, how do we know 1879?
- [34:54]
A
Crazy.
- [34:55]
B
That's crazy, Josh. 22 pounds. I thought I was a big baby. How big were you? Eight pounds, 13 ounces.
- [35:02]
A
That's nice. That's a good size.
- [35:04]
B
Where were you?
- [35:05]
A
Seven pounds, ten ounces. And I've been trying to get back to my birth weight ever since.
- [35:08]
B
Yeah, that's a good weight. That's a good weight.
- [35:11]
A
Can you imagine me six to eight pounds? The dream.
- [35:16]
B
Yeah, you'd be gorgeous. Don't I know six to eight pounds.
- [35:22]
A
Did you know that your baby can hear in the womb? And respond to the sounds coming from outside. By the end of its 24th week, they're going to be able to hear at 24 weeks. You got to play in the podcast.
- [35:34]
B
Not only are we going to play them the podcast. Okay. We're going to make this them. Subscribe to the podcast. And boy, oh, boy, do you know that Claudia is going to be singing them show tunes? Like, nonstop show tunes. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I would say that there's a 50% chance that we have a Broadway star brewing in there.
- [35:52]
A
Okay. But here's the thing. What if they're a dentist?
- [35:55]
B
I would love it. Whatever they want.
- [35:57]
A
Okay, good.
- [35:58]
B
That said, that said, that dentist will be singing in the shower wishing that they were on Broadway.
- [36:04]
A
I don't know a dentist who loves their profession at all.
- [36:08]
B
No. And by the way, if they want to be a dentist, I'm not letting my baby commit suicide, so.
- [36:14]
A
My God.
- [36:16]
B
Well, by the way, that is a fact. Highest suicide rate. That has not been a crazy opinion. That is a fact.
- [36:23]
A
Well, did you know that one such theory is that pregnant women suffering from severe heartburn could give birth to babies with hair? That would explain our heartburn. Ben.
- [36:34]
B
Pregnant women with extreme heartburn can give birth to babies with hair? Yes. Okay. Wow.
- [36:43]
A
Dumb sponsorship.
- [36:45]
B
I have actually seen. There are some babies, when they come out, they have that huge mane, and you're like, whoa.
- [36:52]
A
Yeah, I bet you they do.
- [36:54]
B
They lose that hair, though, or they keep that hair?
- [36:56]
A
I think it depends. Shy lost all his hair and then it grew back.
- [37:00]
B
Were you scared when he lost his hair?
- [37:04]
A
No, because we had neutrophil.
- [37:06]
B
Because you knew. Yeah. Neutral fall. Dr. Diamond at three months. No big deal.
- [37:15]
A
Please.
- [37:19]
B
God, Josh. Shy's jaw looks just chiseled since the last time I saw him.
- [37:24]
A
Now, if you guys have a girl, will you get her a nose job? By 14.
- [37:29]
B
No. By 14 months.
- [37:37]
A
Oh, man.
- [37:38]
B
She's just gonna have this huge, perfect nose.
- [37:41]
A
I love it. Well, did you know that a new mother could experience forgetfulness quite often? This is called mommy brain. Maybe you have daddy brain.
- [37:53]
B
Say something fucking dumb like that. I do have daddy brain. And by the way, do I now get, like, a little bit of grace? I've had some things on my plate, Josh, okay? My brain has been full.
- [38:04]
A
Full. Well, we're still gonna have a neurologist come in here and check you out, because you scare me sometimes.
- [38:09]
B
Yeah, we're gonna have them check you out, too. Okay? Gaslighter.
- [38:13]
A
Good.
- [38:14]
B
Gaslight. Gaslighting me into Munchausen. I'm Gypsy Rose and you're my mother.
- [38:20]
A
No, I know. Please. God willing.
- [38:25]
B
This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Built Rewards PSA for anyone who rents like me. If you haven't heard of bilt, you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent is now a reality. You heard that, right. Earning points on rent is now a reality. When you pay your rent through bilt, you don't even have to check with your landlord to start earning points that you can use towards flights, hotel stays, fitness classes, and even your next rent payment. Let me break it down for you. If you're a renter, I'd start taking advantage of BILT if I were you. Here's the thing. We earn points on groceries, travel, and practically everything else we buy. But we should also be earning points on our rent, one of our biggest monthly expenses. BILT changed the game by letting renters earn high value points on rent and around the neighborhood. There is no cost to joining bilt, and as a member, you'll earn valuable points on rent and on everyday spending. Built points can be transferred to your favorite hotels and airlines and even the ones you haven't heard of. There are over 500 airlines and 700,000 hotels and properties around the world. You can redeem your built points towards points can also be redeemed towards a future rent payment and unique experiences that only BILT members can access. So if you're not earning points on rent, my question is, why not? What are you nuts? Start earning points on rent you're already paying by going to joinbuilt.com goodguys that's J O I N B I L T.com goodguys make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you J O I N b I l t.com goodguys join bilt.com goodguys to start earning points on your rent payments today.
- [40:15]
A
Okay, should we get to a speak Pipe please? All right. This is from Anonymous.
- [40:20]
C
Hey good guys. So I was just wondering from like.
- [40:23]
B
A male perspective, my boyfriend really wants.
- [40:26]
C
To have a baby and you know we've been together for four years but he's addicted to Xanax and cocaine. This is gonna stop once we have aforementioned baby but I'm not really sure and I'm not like looking to be a single mother so let me know what you think.
- [40:43]
B
Do people stop using once they have children or like what the deal? Why can't all frickin speak pipes be like that? Oh my God, that was gold.
- [40:56]
A
So Good.
- [40:56]
B
All right. No, I don't think that drug addicts abruptly stop using when their partner has a baby. No, I don't. Wow. What a cocktail combo. The Xanax to cool him down and the cocaine to pop him up.
- [41:14]
A
Like peanut butter and jelly. Baby just goes together.
- [41:17]
B
That is fantastic. No, I definitely would not just give in to a crackhead's demands, but I could sense in your voice that you felt the same. Maybe get him cleaned up a little. Pick one. Okay, Jimbo, Pick one.
- [41:32]
A
Yeah.
- [41:33]
B
Xanax or coke? The Xanax and coke. It's too much. It's too much for your heart.
- [41:40]
A
I agree completely. I think it's probably better to wait. By the way, if you want to leave us a message, go to speakpipe.com goodguys. You'll get our advice. You can leave us questions. And don't mix Xanax and cocaine. Next one.
- [41:56]
C
Hey, good guys, quick question. So my friend flies out to New York every single weekend or every other weekend to hook up with this billionaire, like, loads of money. And she has never signed an NDA because I guess every time he wants her to sign it, something happens and she just doesn't mention it to him because she comes back with all the tea. Well, fast forward to him asking her if she's ever told anybody, like, about their, you know, situation. And she said, well, yeah, my girl's back home. He called us and offered us $500,000. Or sign an NDA off what my friend said. And I'm gonna tell you, the stories aren't that great, but he wants to offer us $500,000. I mean, obviously, like, I want to take it, but isn't that kind of crazy?
- [43:02]
B
Is this a real story? Or, like, like. Or is it just like the timing with Brianna Chicken Fry, who, by the way, I saw at UFC over the weekend, and she's doing well.
- [43:14]
A
She looks incredible.
- [43:16]
B
She's doing great. She's so nice. She has such a great head on her shoulders.
- [43:21]
A
Totally.
- [43:21]
B
And she just is living her best life. Declining that 12 million will make more back. I thought of that with this speak pipe. By the way, a random person that you're not dating offers you half a million dollars to not talk about a third party.
- [43:35]
A
Duh.
- [43:36]
B
Take it. Take it and run. Can I. Can I have half a million dollars? Because now we're all kind of in on it. Like, can I have some money? I guess we're already talking about it on the podcast, so we're probably in breach. Also, like, anybody who tells you that they're a billionaire. They're probably not just saying he probably has some good money. People love to throw around the term billionaire. Like, you know how many billionaires there are? Very few. And most of them aren't flying people out to fuck them. Like, it's just like random people who are going to tell their friends this whole thing is giving shady and made up. But hopefully that was good advice.
- [44:19]
A
We've been asking people to make up speak pipes. So maybe she just was taking.
- [44:23]
B
You're right. Well, that was good, but it was a little too outlandish.
- [44:27]
A
Yeah, I don't know, the whole NDA thing, it sounds odd. I was once around a Chinese billionaire who took me out for very expensive steaks and then basically asked me to do a bunch of work for his company for free. So I was like, this just doesn't feel right. But we went and we had milkshakes together in his Rolls Royce. I think he just wanted to sleep together, but he was very gentle.
- [44:50]
B
You would look good on the arm of a Chinese billionaire.
- [44:53]
A
I'm daring the clown. That's me and another life. That's all I'm saying. Dude, like those are the flashes that are that are going to come when you're looking at your beautiful baby child, where you're going to be like, I could be on a yacht right now with someone who's in money laundering.
- [45:12]
B
Josh Chang. You'd be gorgeous.
- [45:15]
A
Oh my God.
- [45:17]
B
You'd obviously take his last name 100%.
- [45:21]
A
My last name is Sully because he's a power player. I already had to change my last name from Peckerman to Pet.
- [45:31]
B
By the way, you really wish you could change it back to Peckerman now don't you?
- [45:35]
A
Oh, my God. Peckerman.
- [45:39]
B
One more.
- [45:39]
A
Speak type.
- [45:41]
B
Yeah.
- [45:41]
A
Okay, one more. This one's from Mackenzie.
- [45:45]
C
Hey, good guys. First off, mazel tov to Ben on. Because becoming a dad, that is so exciting. I am so excited for the new dad and pregnancy content with Claudia. Question is for Josh. I have a two year old girl and I am currently about 18 weeks pregnant with my second. My question is, how was the transition for you and your wife going from one kid to two? And do you have any tips or advice on making that transition as smooth as possible? I'm a little nervous, but love the pod guys and thanks so much.
- [46:31]
A
Okay, first of all, Mackenzie, love you. Don't do chores when you're leaving us. Speak, Pipes. Okay, what are you organizing? Your desk? What are you putting paper clips away? Mackenzie. Not good. Not good. I assume you're gonna Have. You guys are gonna have a gaggle of kids, Ben.
- [46:52]
B
We'll see. I think so. I feel, God willing, like, three is the right number. Love it. But we shall see. Yeah. I'm one of two, and I absolutely love my sister. And I think being four was actually really easy. Like, it's one table, it's one hotel room, it's one car. It's one. Five, though. I think five is, like, the max before things get a little bit tricky. Like.
- [47:21]
A
Yes.
- [47:22]
B
Once you're at six. Six is a large vehicle. Six is a large table. Six is multiple rooms. Six is just. And then seven. Holy smokes. No way we ever touch five. That's nuts. That's nuts.
- [47:38]
A
Can you imagine five softri's offers? Sorry, Claudia.
- [47:43]
B
It's kind of sick.
- [47:45]
A
I kind of love it.
- [47:47]
B
I kind of love it, too. Where I find.
- [47:48]
A
Maybe you guys should blend your last name for the kids.
- [47:51]
B
Sofri.
- [47:52]
A
Soffrey.
- [47:53]
B
Soffrey. Cute.
- [47:55]
A
Yay.
- [47:55]
B
But no. But no. I won the. I won the. It wasn't even a battle, but I won the last name, so I'm. We're thankful we leave it at that.
- [48:04]
A
Mordecai. Sofri.
- [48:06]
B
Yes.
- [48:07]
A
Rivka. Soft.
- [48:11]
B
What if I just, like, go totally crazy and pick, like, a real Christian name, like Mary or Jesus.
- [48:18]
A
Yes. Or Christian. Christian Sovereign. Sounds like a country singer. 105.1. We're here for the country station. We got a new track from Christian Softy.
- [48:33]
B
It's because it sounds like the grand old Opry.
- [48:36]
A
It's Opry.
- [48:37]
B
Sounds like an opera house.
- [48:38]
A
I kind of love it. It kind of track for you guys.
- [48:42]
B
It also sounds like a delicious, like, rub. Like, I'll take some of the soft freeze mesquite. You know, like a good barbecue rub line.
- [48:51]
A
I'm in.
- [48:52]
B
I'm all in. I'm in. And what about you? You could have done po, Brian.
- [48:58]
A
I know my son. My wife's last name is Ryan.
- [49:02]
B
Or Obrek.
- [49:03]
A
Obrek. Opec. Just fun.
- [49:07]
B
I like Obrech.
- [49:09]
A
Yeah. I mean, look, I was able to weasel out some Jewish names out of my wife, but I certainly could have had, like, a, you know, a Patrick. Who knows?
- [49:19]
B
Wow. That would be. That Patrick.
- [49:22]
A
That's always the interesting.
- [49:24]
B
Do you know any Patrick's? That's like a. Like, does Paige have any Patrick's in her family?
- [49:30]
A
Oh, yeah. She has a cousin.
- [49:32]
B
She does. Good boy. Patty. Nice boy.
- [49:34]
A
Yes, sweetheart.
- [49:36]
B
Good, good. Because. Yeah, I don't know one Jew named Patrick. That's like one of the names that is just like zero have ever been named Patrick.
- [49:45]
A
There was.
- [49:46]
B
I think that there are more Jews named Christian than Patrick.
- [49:49]
A
Yeah, well, I know some Jews named Anthony. That's always interesting.
- [49:54]
B
That makes more sense to me than Patrick. Patrick is just. I don't know. Patrick is Christian to the bone. Beautiful name, though, because I'm Christian to the bone. That's our first song at Soffrey's.
- [50:12]
A
To the Bone, the grand old Soffrey. Do you have. What are you nuts?
- [50:16]
B
I do. And I teased it earlier.
- [50:18]
A
Our what he nuts? Moment of the week is our gripes with people, places and things, big or small, whatever, sickening our craw currently. Ben, take it away.
- [50:26]
B
Okay, so you're going to the doctor, right? Anybody that is expecting. Anybody that has been along this journey knows you go to the doctor and you get a sonogram, right? They lay on that nice. What I envisioned to be mint jelly that I'd like to put on a nice lamb chop. And they go in there with the ultrasound handle or whatever it is, and they're going. And they're looking at the baby, and you see those beautiful pictures on the screen. And then they clip one and they print them, right? For whatever reason, they love to write hi, mom, picture. Hi, dad, picture, baby toaster, or whatever it is, okay? What are you, nuts? I just want a clear picture when you print them. I don't want your meshuggah to crap on it. I don't want high Mom. I don't want high Dad. I don't want. It's cold in here. It's warm in here. Enough with the jokes. Give me a clean picture. What are you, nuts? I can't give a sonogram hi, dad to my parents. They're going to be like, where's the regular one? Why did you stick me with this meshuggah? One where somebody wrote on it?
- [51:27]
A
Word up. Love it. Love it. I guess I'll just. I'll do one in the vein of having kids, too. And I teased mine before, too. If the couple is not going to find out the gender, don't ask if they want a circumcision. Read the file before. What are you nuts? Do a little research.
- [51:48]
B
That's terrible.
- [51:50]
A
It's kind of classic, you know? It is what it is. It's fun, though, man, because I got to announce it to the room.
- [51:56]
B
You got to announce to the room it's a boy. Oh, that. Yeah. That's nice.
- [52:01]
A
It's fun.
- [52:01]
B
That's. That's nice.
- [52:03]
A
Well, you have to understand, too, that my wife had A C section, right? So I'm sitting outside of the room for, like, 30 minutes as they're getting her ready, and then they're like, we'll bring you in. And at that time, they bring me into the room, and I'm like, I'm an actor. What's my role here? Like, give me direction. So I took the job as hype man, and I go like, we're having a baby, guys. It's all these people in full scrubs being like, can you be quiet, please? It's like, okay, I'll be just trying.
- [52:36]
B
To do my part.
- [52:37]
A
I know. I was like, paige, push. They're like, it's a C section.
- [52:40]
B
Don't push. That's so hard. Like, what? Even words of encouragement, you don't give words. It's just drugs, right? Like, you just hope that the drugs are enough. Oof.
- [52:51]
A
They are.
- [52:51]
B
My God.
- [52:52]
A
And they are.
- [52:52]
B
They are.
- [52:53]
A
Benjamin, we are so happy. Allow me to speak for the morons and even the toasters when we say a mazal tov. God willing, One day at a time. Don't worry. Don't be in fear. Baruch hashem. Thank you, God. So happy for you and Claudia. May it be a strong. Whatever they are, may they be strong. And that's all I got. May they be strong.
- [53:20]
B
Thank you. And I'm just thankful to everybody for really, like, some of the nicest messages ever. Like, to know that this baby is already so loved. Unborn is a real blessing, and I love all of you and appreciate all of you. And if I can ask for one more favor, get your friends to like and subscribe to the podcast, okay? So that this beautiful unborn baby can have a life of riches. Watch us on YouTube. Listen to us on Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcasts. If you're not rating this episode 5 stars, you're actually nuts, okay? I literally divulged my whole heart. This is five stars, okay? Listen to us. Watch us on Josh's YouTube. Follow us on TikTok. Follow us on Instagram. Share our clips Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We'll see you next time.
- [54:17]
A
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.