Good Hang with Amy Poehler

Episode: Mariska Hargitay
Date: October 21, 2025
Podcast: The Ringer

Overview

In this lively and heartfelt episode, Amy Poehler welcomes Mariska Hargitay—America’s favorite detective and recent documentarian—for an unguarded, hilarious, and moving conversation. The two discuss Mariska’s career from comedy origins to television icon, the significance of aging, lessons learned on ER and SVU, the power of humor, her new HBO documentary "My Mom Jane," and the enduring importance of curiosity. Guest appearances and playful moments from Chris Meloni punctuate a chat brimming with mutual admiration and straight talk.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chris Meloni’s Surprise Drop-In & Banter

• Chris Meloni, Hargitay’s longtime SVU co-star and friend, joins to reminisce and joke around.
• [03:00] Meloni jokes about Mariska’s “secret lair” home, describing it as Batmobile-esque.
• [06:00] Meloni highlights their comedic bond, recalling how they did drunk-acting bits between takes.
• The duo had imaginary jokes—like Mariska’s never-seen boyfriend "Gerald," which became ongoing set humor.

Notable Quote

"I think there's a strong cornerstone that is comedic based. We both are constantly in search of great comedy, and we literally tested out on each other."
— Chris Meloni [06:00]

2. Aging, Confidence, and Permission at 60

• [15:50] Mariska recounts a recent street interaction and expresses pride about turning 60.
• Both Amy and Mariska riff on how every decade brings new energy and permission to be themselves.
• Mariska shares how clarity, gratitude, and decisiveness grow with age.

Notable Quotes

"60 is the new hot."
— Mariska Hargitay [15:57]

"60 gives you a new permission. ...there's a clarity to 60."
— Mariska Hargitay [16:04]

3. Comedy as Lifeline in Work & Marriage

• [17:22] Mariska credits humor for helping her thrive on set and at home, saying her husband can always defuse anxiety with jokes.
• [18:54] Mariska describes gentle teasing as her family's love language—a style shaped on-set by Meloni.

Notable Quotes

"Comedy has saved my life." — Mariska Hargitay [17:22]

"Gentle teasing—it's a love language. That means you're safe, I'm safe." — Amy Poehler [18:39]

4. Comedy Origins & Missed Sitcom Destiny

• [21:27] Amy discusses Mariska’s unexpected journey from a background in improv/comedy (The Groundlings) to “America’s sweetheart sex cop.”
• Mariska reveals she auditioned for Friends (Monica), did Seinfeld, and always expected to land in comedy.
• Shares a psychic’s prediction that she’d be “famous for her face” in NY, not LA, and six months later, she got SVU.

Notable Quotes

"I am gonna be a comedian. ...He goes, I don't give a rat's ass what you say. You're gonna be famous for that face." — Mariska Hargitay [24:27]

5. ER: A Turning Point

• [26:10] Mariska reflects on her pivotal role as Cynthia Hooper on ER—a time of learning and wanting to do more nuanced acting.
• She credits watching the show’s “masterful actors” with shaping her own approach.

Notable Quote

"You can learn from everyone around you. ...I do attribute so much of my success to those days of watching these masterful actors and going, I want to do that."
— Mariska Hargitay [27:45]

6. SVU, Chemistry, and On-Set Energy

• [31:27] She describes her and Meloni’s immediate chemistry in auditions, and how being paired up “was the end of it”—they knew it would be them.
• Decided early: Olivia Benson wouldn’t be “a hard-nosed detective” but a character of integration and empathy.
• [35:55] Mariska describes how “16 safety nets” are now on set to support guest actors.

Notable Quotes

"I am going to be all of myself. Because that's where as women, our power lives." — Mariska Hargitay [34:01]

7. Spotting Rising Stars

• [36:53] Recounts working with Abigail Breslin and Megan Fahey, sensing their future stardom due to an “internal sparkle.”

8. Joyful Heart Foundation & Purpose

• [39:10] Mariska details founding the Joyful Heart Foundation after learning staggering sexual assault statistics through SVU.
• She emphasizes being seen and listened to as foundational for healing.

Notable Quote

"All we want is to be seen, to be seen and listened to. That doesn't always happen, but when we're listened to...half of the injury can go away."
— Mariska Hargitay [40:10]

9. "My Mom Jane": Curiosity & Making Meaning

• [43:02] Reflects on her HBO documentary, describing it as an exercise in making sense of chaos and seeking straight answers.
• She links her own childhood “detective work” to her relentless curiosity as an adult.

Notable Quote

"I wanted to go in with this disciplined curiosity because I had jumped to so many conclusions and because I felt different my whole life, and, like, I didn’t belong." — Mariska Hargitay [44:22]

10. Marriage, Communication, and Comedy at Home

• [47:40] Mariska describes her partnership with actor Peter Hermann, whom she married at 40.
• They use humor and role-switching to diffuse tension and understand each other, a style akin to couples therapy.

11. Directness, Safe Space, and Leadership

• Amy and Mariska agree that “politeness is for strangers”—straight talk is a sign of trust and intimacy.
• Mariska uses direct, playful feedback when directing to set a tone of safety and honesty.

12. Rapid Fire: Old New York, Jalen Brunson, Hair, and Broadway Dreams

• Knicks star Jalen Brunson: Mariska describes their mutual affection and the ease of their connection [52:48].
• Anecdotes about filming in NYC: fans interrupting scenes, people bluntly confessing not to “get the show” [54:14].
• Who should play her in a movie? (Cate Blanchett, Meghan Fahey suggested) [55:00].
• On Broadway ambitions: Amy and Mariska fantasize about an all-female Hamilton, debating roles [59:34].
• Name mispronunciations: Only in recent years do people get it right, thanks to SVU [57:40].

13. Favorites, Laughter, and Inspiration

• [61:01] Mariska shouts out comedian Nate Bargatze.
• She and Amy bond over childhood TV memories, the healing power of humor, and mutual respect.

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [02:38] Chris Meloni Joins the Show: Friendship, Early Days, and Comedy
• [15:29] Mariska on Turning 60, Confidence, and Life Lessons
• [21:27] From Improv Comedy to TV Icon: Mariska’s Unexpected Path
• [26:10] The Impact of ER on Her Craft
• [31:27] SVU Audition Stories, Chemistry with Meloni, Role Development
• [39:10] The Creation of the Joyful Heart Foundation & Its Purpose
• [43:02] "My Mom Jane": The Documentary and the Search for 'Why'
• [47:40] Marriage, Communication, and Family Style
• [52:48] Rapid Fire: NY Moments, Famous Friends, Movie Casting, Broadway
• [61:01] What’s Making Mariska Laugh: Comedy Favorites

Memorable Quotes

• "Comedy has saved my life." — Mariska Hargitay [17:22]
• "I want to be all of myself. Because that's where our power lives." — Mariska [34:01]
• "All we want is to be seen and listened to." — Mariska [40:10]
• "Find out where you're going and then who's coming with you." — Mariska, quoting her dad [47:55]
• "60 gives you a new permission. ...there's a clarity to 60." — Mariska [16:04]

Tone & Highlights

The conversation is wisecracking, warm, and honest—skewering self-seriousness but grounded in real insight and mutual respect. The episode mixes set anecdotes, friendship appreciation, candid parenting chats, and reflective wisdom on aging and purpose. Amy and Mariska trade stories with an easy chemistry, offering plenty of laughs and revelations that will delight fans of both SVU and Poehler’s comedy universe.

For New Listeners: Why Listen to This Episode?

If you want to understand what keeps Mariska Hargitay so grounded and resilient after decades as America’s TV detective—and how she brings humor, self-awareness, and purpose to everything from friendships to advocacy—this is your episode. The conversation is stuffed with fun, surprises, and meaning, just like a great hang should be.