Mariska Hargitay

Summary

Good Hang with Amy Poehler

Episode: Mariska Hargitay
Date: October 21, 2025
Podcast: The Ringer

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Overview

In this lively and heartfelt episode, Amy Poehler welcomes Mariska Hargitay—America’s favorite detective and recent documentarian—for an unguarded, hilarious, and moving conversation. The two discuss Mariska’s career from comedy origins to television icon, the significance of aging, lessons learned on ER and SVU, the power of humor, her new HBO documentary "My Mom Jane," and the enduring importance of curiosity. Guest appearances and playful moments from Chris Meloni punctuate a chat brimming with mutual admiration and straight talk.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chris Meloni’s Surprise Drop-In & Banter

• Chris Meloni, Hargitay’s longtime SVU co-star and friend, joins to reminisce and joke around.
• [03:00] Meloni jokes about Mariska’s “secret lair” home, describing it as Batmobile-esque.
• [06:00] Meloni highlights their comedic bond, recalling how they did drunk-acting bits between takes.
• The duo had imaginary jokes—like Mariska’s never-seen boyfriend "Gerald," which became ongoing set humor.

Notable Quote

"I think there's a strong cornerstone that is comedic based. We both are constantly in search of great comedy, and we literally tested out on each other."
— Chris Meloni [06:00]

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2. Aging, Confidence, and Permission at 60

• [15:50] Mariska recounts a recent street interaction and expresses pride about turning 60.
• Both Amy and Mariska riff on how every decade brings new energy and permission to be themselves.
• Mariska shares how clarity, gratitude, and decisiveness grow with age.

Notable Quotes

"60 is the new hot."
— Mariska Hargitay [15:57]

"60 gives you a new permission. ...there's a clarity to 60."
— Mariska Hargitay [16:04]

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3. Comedy as Lifeline in Work & Marriage

• [17:22] Mariska credits humor for helping her thrive on set and at home, saying her husband can always defuse anxiety with jokes.
• [18:54] Mariska describes gentle teasing as her family's love language—a style shaped on-set by Meloni.

Notable Quotes

"Comedy has saved my life." — Mariska Hargitay [17:22]

"Gentle teasing—it's a love language. That means you're safe, I'm safe." — Amy Poehler [18:39]

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4. Comedy Origins & Missed Sitcom Destiny

• [21:27] Amy discusses Mariska’s unexpected journey from a background in improv/comedy (The Groundlings) to “America’s sweetheart sex cop.”
• Mariska reveals she auditioned for Friends (Monica), did Seinfeld, and always expected to land in comedy.
• Shares a psychic’s prediction that she’d be “famous for her face” in NY, not LA, and six months later, she got SVU.

Notable Quotes

"I am gonna be a comedian. ...He goes, I don't give a rat's ass what you say. You're gonna be famous for that face." — Mariska Hargitay [24:27]

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5. ER: A Turning Point

• [26:10] Mariska reflects on her pivotal role as Cynthia Hooper on ER—a time of learning and wanting to do more nuanced acting.
• She credits watching the show’s “masterful actors” with shaping her own approach.

Notable Quote

"You can learn from everyone around you. ...I do attribute so much of my success to those days of watching these masterful actors and going, I want to do that."
— Mariska Hargitay [27:45]

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6. SVU, Chemistry, and On-Set Energy

• [31:27] She describes her and Meloni’s immediate chemistry in auditions, and how being paired up “was the end of it”—they knew it would be them.
• Decided early: Olivia Benson wouldn’t be “a hard-nosed detective” but a character of integration and empathy.
• [35:55] Mariska describes how “16 safety nets” are now on set to support guest actors.

Notable Quotes

"I am going to be all of myself. Because that's where as women, our power lives." — Mariska Hargitay [34:01]

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7. Spotting Rising Stars

• [36:53] Recounts working with Abigail Breslin and Megan Fahey, sensing their future stardom due to an “internal sparkle.”

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8. Joyful Heart Foundation & Purpose

• [39:10] Mariska details founding the Joyful Heart Foundation after learning staggering sexual assault statistics through SVU.
• She emphasizes being seen and listened to as foundational for healing.

Notable Quote

"All we want is to be seen, to be seen and listened to. That doesn't always happen, but when we're listened to...half of the injury can go away."
— Mariska Hargitay [40:10]

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9. "My Mom Jane": Curiosity & Making Meaning

• [43:02] Reflects on her HBO documentary, describing it as an exercise in making sense of chaos and seeking straight answers.
• She links her own childhood “detective work” to her relentless curiosity as an adult.

Notable Quote

"I wanted to go in with this disciplined curiosity because I had jumped to so many conclusions and because I felt different my whole life, and, like, I didn’t belong." — Mariska Hargitay [44:22]

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10. Marriage, Communication, and Comedy at Home

• [47:40] Mariska describes her partnership with actor Peter Hermann, whom she married at 40.
• They use humor and role-switching to diffuse tension and understand each other, a style akin to couples therapy.

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11. Directness, Safe Space, and Leadership

• Amy and Mariska agree that “politeness is for strangers”—straight talk is a sign of trust and intimacy.
• Mariska uses direct, playful feedback when directing to set a tone of safety and honesty.

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12. Rapid Fire: Old New York, Jalen Brunson, Hair, and Broadway Dreams

• Knicks star Jalen Brunson: Mariska describes their mutual affection and the ease of their connection [52:48].
• Anecdotes about filming in NYC: fans interrupting scenes, people bluntly confessing not to “get the show” [54:14].
• Who should play her in a movie? (Cate Blanchett, Meghan Fahey suggested) [55:00].
• On Broadway ambitions: Amy and Mariska fantasize about an all-female Hamilton, debating roles [59:34].
• Name mispronunciations: Only in recent years do people get it right, thanks to SVU [57:40].

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13. Favorites, Laughter, and Inspiration

• [61:01] Mariska shouts out comedian Nate Bargatze.
• She and Amy bond over childhood TV memories, the healing power of humor, and mutual respect.

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [02:38] Chris Meloni Joins the Show: Friendship, Early Days, and Comedy
• [15:29] Mariska on Turning 60, Confidence, and Life Lessons
• [21:27] From Improv Comedy to TV Icon: Mariska’s Unexpected Path
• [26:10] The Impact of ER on Her Craft
• [31:27] SVU Audition Stories, Chemistry with Meloni, Role Development
• [39:10] The Creation of the Joyful Heart Foundation & Its Purpose
• [43:02] "My Mom Jane": The Documentary and the Search for 'Why'
• [47:40] Marriage, Communication, and Family Style
• [52:48] Rapid Fire: NY Moments, Famous Friends, Movie Casting, Broadway
• [61:01] What’s Making Mariska Laugh: Comedy Favorites

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Memorable Quotes

• "Comedy has saved my life." — Mariska Hargitay [17:22]
• "I want to be all of myself. Because that's where our power lives." — Mariska [34:01]
• "All we want is to be seen and listened to." — Mariska [40:10]
• "Find out where you're going and then who's coming with you." — Mariska, quoting her dad [47:55]
• "60 gives you a new permission. ...there's a clarity to 60." — Mariska [16:04]

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Tone & Highlights

The conversation is wisecracking, warm, and honest—skewering self-seriousness but grounded in real insight and mutual respect. The episode mixes set anecdotes, friendship appreciation, candid parenting chats, and reflective wisdom on aging and purpose. Amy and Mariska trade stories with an easy chemistry, offering plenty of laughs and revelations that will delight fans of both SVU and Poehler’s comedy universe.

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For New Listeners: Why Listen to This Episode?

If you want to understand what keeps Mariska Hargitay so grounded and resilient after decades as America’s TV detective—and how she brings humor, self-awareness, and purpose to everything from friendships to advocacy—this is your episode. The conversation is stuffed with fun, surprises, and meaning, just like a great hang should be.

Transcript

[Amy Poehler]

This episode is brought to you by Meet Boston. Look, I love Boston. I grew up there. I love Bostonians. There's everything you need in Boston. Incredible food, colleges. My family just. There's no better city and no one will tell you that more than a Bostonian. It's why I love Boston. They give it to you straight. It's got so much history. You gotta go there. And it's great to visit all year, but especially over the holidays when it becomes a winter wonderland of shops, a outdoor activities including fancy holiday drone shows and award winning food scene. Trust me, it's not just chowder and lobster rolls. Plus nothing beats a Boston sports crowd, whether it's college teams or the pros and including all the brand new women's teams that are there. So exciting. So book your trip [e-mail] Winter hello everyone. Welcome to another episode of Good Hang. Very excited about our guest today, the one, the only, Mariska Hargitay. We have wanted Mariska to come by for a very long time. We're that she's here and we're gonna talk about a lot of very exciting stuff. We're gonna talk about her beautiful new HBO documentary, My Mom Jane. We're gonna talk about the fact that she's America's favorite detective. We're gonna discuss what parts we would play in an all female version of Hamilton. It's a great interview and let's get started listening to it. But oh, but before we do, guess who we have. You know, we always like to talk to somebody who knows our guest who has a question for our guest. And we got a good one. We got Christopher Maloney. That's right. Detective Stabler is here. And you may know him from Oz and from SVU and from law and organized crime. Most importantly, you might know him from his star turn in Wet Hot American Summer where I met him. But Chris Maloney is joining us today. Chris, can you hear us? This episode is brought to you by Paul Molive. Some of the best memories you'll ever make are around the dinner table. You'll never regret trying out those new recipes that may or may not go sideways or putting on a spread so big that your in laws are still talking about it years later. Brownie points. So when it comes to the dishes, it's nice to know there's a product that works as hard as you do. But Palmolive Ultra removes up to 99% of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. Visit palmolive.com shop now. How are you, friend?

[Chris Maloney]

I'm Fantastic.

[Amy Poehler]

Aww. Michelle, so good to see you.

[Chris Maloney]

Thank you.

[Amy Poehler]

Where am I talking to you from? Are you in the city or do.

[Chris Maloney]

You know what the irony is? I'm staying at Mariska's place.

[Amy Poehler]

Get out of here. How cool.

[Chris Maloney]

Yeah, and I can't show it to you because I haven't been authorized, so. No, but it's, it's super secret. It's like a lair, you know? You remember the mat Batmobile?

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yeah.

[Chris Maloney]

It's a fence that goes down. You go into a cave, and the fence goes up. I mean, it's really, it's crazy.

[Amy Poehler]

Oh, you have to, like, put your hand on a sensor and it only. And it reads your fingerprints.

[Chris Maloney]

Yep. Everything. Yep.

[Amy Poehler]

God. You know, this is all just. This is also satisfying for listeners that you're staying at Mariska's house.

[Chris Maloney]

Yeah.

[Amy Poehler]

Okay. Before we get to her, though.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Hello.

[Amy Poehler]

Hi.

[Chris Maloney]

Hi.

[Amy Poehler]

We got to know each other on a cult classic, a film called Wet Hot American Summer, which, I mean, some could argue you stole that movie right from under all of these sketch little shrinky dinks. You just.

[Chris Maloney]

Well, wow, thank you. That's really sweet because I just look at the whole piece, as, you know, to me, it's the epitome of a cult classic. In fact, when it did not do well at the box office, I remember I'd been in the biz long enough to go, wah, wah, that I had a great time. I thought it was great, whatever. And then all of a sudden, you know, over the years, you keep seeing these young people or being stopped in the street by younger people, and you're like, is okay? Am I crazy, or is this a thing that's happening? Yeah. And that was so exciting.

[Amy Poehler]

Let's talk about what you're working on. Are you shooting currently right now?

[Chris Maloney]

No, I want to play the head coach of a football team in the NFL.

[Amy Poehler]

I mean, you definitely have a coach vibe. How do you stay so fit?

[Chris Maloney]

Oh, man. You know, four. Four, Four or five days a week.

[Amy Poehler]

Oh, my God.

[Chris Maloney]

You know, and as you have. As I look, I've been working out. I, I, I calculated, and I think the longest I've not worked out is maybe two weeks.

[Amy Poehler]

Oh, my God.

[Chris Maloney]

And I've been doing that for 50 years.

[Mariska Hargitay]

50 years.

[Amy Poehler]

That truly sounds like a nightmare.

[Chris Maloney]

Yeah, and it was. Yeah, it is. But now it's my drug of choice, so it's all good.

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah, I get it. I mean, it's a fantastic thing to invest in yourself, and it feels good and it lengthens your life and all of it, but Man.

[Chris Maloney]

Yeah.

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah. That's a lot of hard work. Well, on behalf of everyone everywhere, thank you. Congratulations.

[Chris Maloney]

All the little people. Thank me. All the little actors in Hollywood, the frail little actors.

[Amy Poehler]

Now, Mariska and you. I mean, you've had to answer a million questions over the years about.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Your.

[Amy Poehler]

Relationship on the show and off the show and on shows and off shows, but it really is truly like you are family to each other.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yeah.

[Amy Poehler]

How would you describe, you know, your relationship to each other?

[Chris Maloney]

I think it was based. I think there's a strong cornerstone that is comedic based. We both are constantly in search of great comedy, and we literally tested out on each other. We used to, in between setups, we would act drunk and then critique each other. Go. I guess. No, that's too much. No, no, bring it. Okay. There. Go ahead.

[Amy Poehler]

I used to say, too, when I had to play drunk, the first thing I would do is I would take a big step closer to whoever I was talking to.

[Mariska Hargitay]

See, that's good.

[Chris Maloney]

Spatial awareness is gone.

[Amy Poehler]

Just one step.

[Chris Maloney]

I know those people, you know, they do this thing, and you're like, okay, totally.

[Amy Poehler]

Okay. So you and Mariska like to do bits like.

[Chris Maloney]

Yes. This is something about. For a split second, she was. She was talking about. She was looking. You know, she was going out on dates a lot, or she was going out on dates. And I said, I've. You should be dating a guy named Gerald. And why it struck us as funny, we don't know. But all of a sudden, she had a phantom guys that she dated that she was really in love with. But it was difficult to manage with Gerald. Sure.

[Amy Poehler]

It's like a fake boyfriend.

[Chris Maloney]

Yeah, but I mentioned. I mentioned. I said, I go, gerald's here. But I told him to get lost because you were working in the middle of, like, you know, setting up a scene. And she goes, gosh, Chris, you're not.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Allowed to do that.

[Chris Maloney]

And she starts running out.

[Mariska Hargitay]

She goes, gerald.

[Chris Maloney]

I went, there you go. That makes no sense. It's not even particularly funny. But it's just funny to us.

[Amy Poehler]

I love a bit. God, I mean, it's the only way sometimes to get through a long day is a dumb bit.

[Chris Maloney]

Yeah. And I'll say this because the genesis of where I drove us, your question was, what's the secret to the sauce? And so it's the comedy. But I would also add that there's something spiritual in it, and I think that's in her nature. And, you know, perhaps it's an aspect of mine that I recognize.

[Amy Poehler]

Do you think you knew each other in a past life.

[Chris Maloney]

That's funny. Yeah. I don't think in those terms, even though I feel that way, like, New York to me, is that. Is that to me that.

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah.

[Chris Maloney]

When I arrived in New York, I went. I don't even know what this thought is, but I should have been born here.

[Amy Poehler]

That's so funny you say that. I felt the same way when I came to New York. I thought, oh, right, this is the city I'm supposed to live in.

[Chris Maloney]

Right. Oh, you know something? I can check this box. I'm no longer lost.

[Mariska Hargitay]

That's how it felt to me.

[Amy Poehler]

Interesting. I mean, I wonder if there's like. There's all this, like. Speaking of spirituality, there's all this idea that there's, like, people in your life. And I can think of some for me who, just when I met them, I was like, oh, there you are. And they became part of my life. They're now, you know, we're all of the age now. We're knowing and working people for. With people for 25 years, 30 years, and suddenly it's like they're some version.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Of.

[Amy Poehler]

A group that was supposed to come together.

[Chris Maloney]

You're funny. I have the same thing, and I've never put it in those terms, but when I walk away from someone, I'll say this, that's a solid citizen. But you go, that's someone that you can build a community with. Yes, that's a solid citizen. And it makes me, you know, again, makes me want to.

[Amy Poehler]

Oh, I love that. That's a solid citizen. I love that. Okay, speaking. So we're talking to very solid citizen Mariska Hargitay today. Yeah, I'm very excited to have her in the studio. Mariska and I have gotten a chance to see each other out in the world, but never really had a real. And I've seen her, you know, at, you know, I've been lucky enough to be part of the many good works that she does. And, of course, I am a huge fan of her work, and I've been very moved by her recent film, but there's a lot of sides to her. And I feel like you get, you know, that everyday work environment thing is, like, you really get to know someone. And so I guess. Do you have a question for me today that I could ask her that you feel like she never gets asked or that, you know, I don't know, she would like to be asked about?

[Chris Maloney]

She is the consummate multitasker, and it's a gift that I marvel at, you know, She's a good connector of people. So she has a wide spectrum of the world, as well as a very keen, incisive, mano a mano engagement with people. She can assess people very well and engages them always from a kind of a pure heart. She's always trying to find the solution or the good. And I guess, you know, a question. What is that? What's the driving force of all of these things? And did you know that, you know, did you start out, oh, I'm gonna be an actor? And then when was it? When. When do the tumblers start to drop?

[Amy Poehler]

I love what you're saying because the, like, figuring out the why of things.

[Chris Maloney]

The why of the journey. Yeah.

[Amy Poehler]

That is, like, to me, that, you know, like, what a cure.

[Mariska Hargitay]

What.

[Amy Poehler]

It's what curiosity is about. Like, she's seems like a very curious person, and I would be. And I'm curious about her curiosity, basically.

[Chris Maloney]

And, you know, that's what I thought made her documentary about her mom so poignant was the clarity of what the journey was. Right. The genesis of it, the. Her feelings, the things that needed to get resolved for her. The deeper insight. Oh, my God.

[Amy Poehler]

Oh, we lost video again. Hey, but that's okay.

[Chris Maloney]

No, no, no. Hold on. Do you have me?

[Amy Poehler]

We have you.

[Chris Maloney]

Do you know why I lost you?

[Mariska Hargitay]

Mariska just called me amazing.

[Amy Poehler]

Amazing. She's like, what are you talking about?

[Chris Maloney]

She goes, why won't you pick up? Are you naked? Do you want me to call her?

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah, let's call her right now because she's. I think she's on the way here. Does she know you're doing this?

[Chris Maloney]

No.

[Amy Poehler]

Amazing.

[Chris Maloney]

No. So hold on a second. Don't say anything. What? What's up, girlfriend?

[Mariska Hargitay]

But I just. I felt so happy that you're there. I really am. I'm so happy. I want you to enjoy it. And just text me or Sophie if you need to figure out how anything works or whatever.

[Chris Maloney]

Okay. Do you do. And. But. And was that a hint? Do you want a nudie?

[Mariska Hargitay]

Could I. But first of all, I'm so sorry. That's so gross about those lemons. I went through a bite. A ton of lemons. Because I love having lemonade there all the time.

[Chris Maloney]

Serious. Well, I saw your lemonade sign. I saw your big lemonade sign right there. Hey, where are you going? What are you doing?

[Mariska Hargitay]

I'm. Right now. I'm going to Amy Poehler. I do a podcast. You know, I met her, but I don't, like, know her or anything. And then I'm doing that, and Then I just have meetings for, like, now that I'm a mogul at meetings. Why are you laughing? Why? Love.

[Chris Maloney]

No, I know. I love Amy with all my heart and soul. That's all. I was just playing you. You've always loved her since day one. I love you more than you know. Thank you so much. Ciao. Love.

[Amy Poehler]

When I tell you that was a lot. When I tell you that you guys should start an only fans where people pay to hear you guys FaceTime. That was incredible. I got very nervous. That was actually. I actually started to sweat because that was like a high school version of, like, hearing how somebody was going to talk about me. Thank God she didn't say anything bad. What if she had said, I have to go do this dumbass podcast?

[Chris Maloney]

Well, number one, I trusted that, you know, she didn't know that, but I love that she didn't want to offend me when I'm like, eh.

[Amy Poehler]

When you said eh, I was like, are you nuts?

[Chris Maloney]

She just wants to play.

[Amy Poehler]

She's the best. I love talking to you. I hope I see you soon.

[Chris Maloney]

Good. I love you, Amy.

[Amy Poehler]

Thanks, Chris. Great to see you, buddy. This episode is brought to you by Visible. You know that one friend who's always the first to know about everything. They've got a dozen tabs open constantly on their phone and in their head. To be that friend, you need wireless that can keep up. Visible is the ultimate wireless hack that lets you live in the know, so you can follow a rabbit hole as long as you want. Get one line wireless with unlimited data, talk and text for $25 a month, taxes and fees included. Plus Visible runs on Verizon's 5G network so you can get great coverage and a reliable connection without the premium cost. Ready for wireless that lets you live in the know. Make the [e-mail] terms apply. See visible.com for plan features and network management details.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I was walking out of my apartment this morning and some lady, very sweet lady, goes, oh, my God, my son goes to college where she went to college. And so she said, oh, your son, he's so great. And then I don't know how my age came up. And I go, yeah, I know. And now I'm 60. And she goes, don't tell anyone your age. And I go, and she's probably 70. And I go, why? I'm proud of it.

[Amy Poehler]

And you know, 60.

[Mariska Hargitay]

So cute.

[Amy Poehler]

60 is very hot.

[Mariska Hargitay]

60 is the new hot.

[Amy Poehler]

60'S hot.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yeah, it is.

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah, it's hot.

[Mariska Hargitay]

That's why I'm so I get so happy for people that turn 60. I'm like, trust me, sweetie. It's all just beginning.

[Amy Poehler]

I know. I mean, people get really bunched up about age. I want to talk to you about it, too, because I do think, like, I do it.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I love talking about it.

[Amy Poehler]

Okay. Because I bet you like me. Like, it's only getting better. Only getting better.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Only getting better. And I'll tell you something. I remember when I turned 40, and I thought. And I used to tell people, oh, my God, life begins at 40. Cause my 20s were super hard and really struggled. And then 30, you go, oh, okay, so now it's a new beginning. But then 40 is when it really kind of kicked in and I got married and had kids. And then 50, you go, oh, I'm in it. And I know how to do it. But 60 gives you a new permission. We learn. No, but. No. With love. And we learn, like, oh, this is how much time I have left. And I'm so grateful to be alive, and I want to spend my time in the best, most useful, productive, loving, generous, but also generous to myself way that you go. I'm just so clear. There's a clarity to 60.

[Amy Poehler]

Top of Act 3. 60s is top of Act 3.

[Mariska Hargitay]

That's exactly right.

[Amy Poehler]

And bottom of Act 2 can be a little. There can be some, like, some reckoning. But top of Act 3, you're like, all right, let's do it.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Let's do it. But also, listen, you're the teacher of this also to everyone about. I really. I really do. Like, I would say humor and comedy has saved my life.

[Amy Poehler]

And, like, a person who can make you laugh when you're really down is like an angel.

[Mariska Hargitay]

It's exactly right. Those are the words out of my mouth. And sometimes I'm. So. This is why I'm still married. Because my husband. Sometimes I'm so upset or something's happened, and I'm so scared, and I'm like, no, no, you don't understand. Or, I think I'm having an anxiety attack. And then I'm like, no, Peter, something's wrong. I think something's wrong. I feel a thickness, a tightness in my chest, and I might have to go to the hospital. I can't feel my right arm, and I think I'm gonna die. He immediately goes into the comedy. And then as soon as I laugh, I go. Because that's his test. His litmus test.

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Should I be scared or not? And I'm so grateful for that.

[Chris Maloney]

Me, too.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I'm so great. I'M profoundly grateful for that. Even when my kids do bad things, I call them losers. And then they say, oh, it must be. It's not that bad if she's caught. And we laugh through it.

[Amy Poehler]

I know. I mean, that kind of. Like, I've said this before, but, like, gentle teasing is like a love language. That means you're safe, I'm safe.

[Mariska Hargitay]

We will get through this.

[Amy Poehler]

I know. We'll get through this. I know. And, you know, gentle teasing, even hard teasing. Hard teasing.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Hard teasing. I learned that from. Well, Chris Maloney was my teacher. This guy played so rough and was the first person that busted balls so hard. But I did grow up with two brothers, so I was like, oh, oh, is this how we do it? Is this how we do it? And we were so rough on each other, but then it became truly our love language.

[Amy Poehler]

Okay, this leads me to say what I was gonna say later in the interview, but I have to say now.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Oh, God.

[Amy Poehler]

Which is we do a thing at the beginning of the interview where we ask someone to speak well behind someone's back.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Okay.

[Amy Poehler]

We kind of ask, like, we do a little, like, zoom with somebody. Oh, I'm talking to Mariska today. Do you think you have any questions I should ask her?

[Chris Maloney]

So.

[Amy Poehler]

So we talked to Chris. Oh. And not only did we talk to Chris, but we just talked to him 20 minutes ago.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And, oh, my God, look at me starting to sweat.

[Amy Poehler]

Okay, I'm sweating, too, because he answered your phone call while we were on.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Zoom, and I wrote back and said, why won't you answer my FaceTime? Are you naked? That's what I said. Just answer my FaceTime. Cause he's at my house right now.

[Amy Poehler]

Okay, we know. We know he's. Because he was talking so much lovingly about you.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I mean, absolutely.

[Amy Poehler]

He's going through your draw.

[Mariska Hargitay]

He's going through all of it. I'm fine. He is.

[Amy Poehler]

First of all, thank you for not saying anything bad about me. Cause it was like Maloney put us both on the spot in the best way when he was like, what are you doing? And you're like, I'm going to Amy Poehler's podcast. And I was like, oh, my God.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Wait, you were on the phone? You heard what I said?

[Amy Poehler]

Yes.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And I said, you love her.

[Amy Poehler]

Yes. You were so nice. And it was. And so, like, while I was talking well, behind someone else's back. Somebody else talked well behind my back.

[Mariska Hargitay]

That is so. That is so sweet.

[Amy Poehler]

Very healing. Thank you. But by the way, is there anything.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Better than that than having Somebody have your back?

[Amy Poehler]

No, there's nothing better.

[Mariska Hargitay]

There's just nothing. I was talking to my sisters this morning, all morning about it. It's everything to me.

[Amy Poehler]

Well, Maloney's got your back.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yeah.

[Amy Poehler]

And you guys have. I mean, I want to get into it. Cause it's. It's. To me, it speaks to, like, this bigger idea of, like, how our workplace becomes like a second home and our family. But you guys tease each other in a way that, to me is like, that's what it looks like with the people I love. That's how I show my love. And people don't know. You were in the Groundlings, like, comedy first, always.

[Mariska Hargitay]

How did I end up as America's sweetheart sex cop? I should have been you. Oh, my God. I wanted to be you. I wanted to be a lot more. I wanted to be a lot more. I was like, oh, my God.

[Amy Poehler]

I wanted to take it seriously.

[Mariska Hargitay]

All I wanted to be was you. I was like, oh, my God. She's. Oh, my God.

[Amy Poehler]

All I wanted to do is be like, listen to me. And everyone was like, no, babe, no one's dreaming.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Should we switch for a day?

[Amy Poehler]

My dream.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Okay, I'm going to try to dream. If we can make this happen.

[Amy Poehler]

Well, Freaky Friday.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yeah, we'll freaking Friday that shit.

[Amy Poehler]

I mean, because I would watch, and I was like, God, to have that gravitas and to play those scenes and to be able to be in charge instead of being, like, doing, doing, doing.

[Mariska Hargitay]

But I'm. But in real life, I am.

[Amy Poehler]

Cause you start. Wait, how old were you when you did Groundlings?

[Mariska Hargitay]

God, that was many a year ago, in my 20s. And then Kathy Griffin always tells me in her book, she tells a story about how she dropped me. Also, she was holding you. She said, we did the trust exercise. And then I, of course, am like, you know.

[Amy Poehler]

Yes.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And. And she said that I just, you know, leaned back and she dropped me.

[Amy Poehler]

You don't remember that?

[Mariska Hargitay]

I don't. And I also think maybe that's part of what's wrong with me now.

[Amy Poehler]

When you were auditioning in the beginning, were you going out for comedic stuff?

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yes. You were? I did a lot of. Yeah, I did. You know, I did Seinfeld, and I did Single Guy, and, you know, I tested for Friends so many times.

[Amy Poehler]

Which part do you remember?

[Mariska Hargitay]

I think it's Monica. I think so long ago again. But I always thought that I would end up being on a sitcom or doing comedy. That's what I thought. And it was so funny because this is one of My favorite stories that you will love.

[Amy Poehler]

I love.

[Mariska Hargitay]

So I'm in la, struggling actor, was doing. I think it was after. Was it after er? Yeah, after er. I was like, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? I loved er, but I was like, I wanna. I had a development deal with Warner Brothers DreamWorks, and so I was developing a show, and it was sort of like a la. What's the show with Calista Flockhart.

[Chris Maloney]

Oh, yeah.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Ally McBeal. Ally McBeal. Where it was half drama dramedy. And that's what I wanted to do. I was like, I wanna do drama, but it has to be funny. Cause that's what I felt like my gifts were. So I came to New York, which I did three times a year, to see theater. And then I met with the psychic. Everyone said to me, oh, my gosh, Mirka, you have to meet with this psychic. He's amazing. So I drove out somewhere on Long island to this man, and I went there, and he started saying all this amazing stuff. Stuff about my mom and stuff about a ring. My grandmother had just died. And he said there was gonna be an issue with the ring, which there was. And then he said. He looks at me and he goes. I was listening to him really intently like this. And he said to me, amy, you see that face you're doing right now? You see that face? He looked like that. I said, yeah. He goes, you're gonna be famous for that face. You're moving to New York and you're gonna be famous for that face. And I said, no, I live in la and I'm gonna be a comedian because I'm funny and I'm pretty, and that is a deadly combination. I am gonna be a comedian. And he looks at me and this is my favorite moment in my life. He goes like this. I don't give a rat's ass what you say. You're gonna be famous for that face. Six months later, swear to God on my children, I got svu. Woo, woo. Right? Woo, woo, woo, woo. And it was one of those things where you just go, but I don't. Who says rat's ass?

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Is that not the best line you ever heard?

[Amy Poehler]

Here's how I feel about psychics. Like, I love a bossy psychic.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yes.

[Amy Poehler]

Because. Sure. You know what I mean?

[Mariska Hargitay]

Like, just tell me.

[Amy Poehler]

Just tell me, and tell me with confidence. Totally.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Because if you're insecure, I'm out.

[Amy Poehler]

And I'm gonna forget what you said.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I'm gonna forget. But he said, oh, my God, he.

[Amy Poehler]

Didn'T remember the parts that came true.

[Mariska Hargitay]

That's right. And he said, I don't give a rant's ass. Six months later, I was walking around doing that face, going, where were you Tuesday night? Okay, so guys.

[Amy Poehler]

God, I want to do that so bad.

[Mariska Hargitay]

It's so good. I'm going to make this happen.

[Amy Poehler]

Well, you know, let's talk about. You were on er, and you were incredible on that show. And can you just tell me before we get to your incredible show what it was like to work?

[Mariska Hargitay]

Changed my life.

[Amy Poehler]

And your performance on that show is very tender.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Thank you.

[Amy Poehler]

I love your performance on that show. That character was felt very vulnerable and very funny and very sweet and tender. And to me, that. What was your character's name?

[Mariska Hargitay]

Cynthia Hoopers.

[Amy Poehler]

Thank you. Cynthia Hooper. Working at the desk, being, like, overwhelmed and being in Love with Dr. Mark Green, played by Anthony Edwards and being like, is this the right place for me? And it was so interesting to watch that character on that show at that time, because the show was about like, we're all here with a mission. And there was someone that was like, or maybe I shouldn't be here.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yeah, very much so.

[Amy Poehler]

And it was so nuanced how you played her. Loved her.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Oh, thanks, Amy. It was a generation.

[Amy Poehler]

What was generous experience to be on that show?

[Mariska Hargitay]

You know, we lived through what ER was. It was the pinnacle of all television. I mean, it was the greatest show on the planet. And acting was so next level. And I look back at it and I think of how that show really shaped me and those actors shaped me and how invested they were, how amazing they were, how it was. It was acting like I'd never seen, but I knew. I didn't know how to. I didn't know how to do exactly what they were doing. It was like, a little out of my league, but I watched them so skillfully and in such a beautiful, nuanced way. I think that was when I went, I want to do that. I want to do that. Whatever they're doing. That's so masterful and skilled and that was sparkly. I love that you're bringing this up. It was such a turning point in my life because of enacting. The truth is, it's both, right? It can be so tragic, but then it's so funny, right? Because we panic, our heads get squeezed. We don't know how to deal with it. All we can do is laugh. And so it was such an integration moment. One of the greatest gifts I think, that my dad ever gave me was Mariska you can learn from everyone around you. So I've always been like, if you don't know it, watch and learn, watch and learn. Whether they're younger, older, anyone, watch and learn. So I did. And I do attribute so much of my success to those days of watching these masterful actors and going, I want to do that.

[Amy Poehler]

This episode is brought to you by Visit Myrtle Beach. If you're dreaming of a beachy summer escape, then head to the beach In Myrtle Beach, S.C. you'll find 60 miles of stunning coastline, hundreds of attractions to explore, and the South's newest foodie hotspot. This is where you play hard and beach easy. You belong at the Beach. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Start planning your summer adventure at Visit MyrtleBeach.com this episode is brought to you by CBS.

[Mariska Hargitay]

DMV is a brand new workplace comedy turning misery into magic and chaos into comedy. Starring Harriet Dyer And Tim Meadows, DMV.

[Amy Poehler]

Is here to serve you laughs.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Watch Mondays at 8:30 7:30 Central on CBS and streaming on Paramount.

[Amy Poehler]

This episode is brought to you by Sephora. I'm not going to say I'm an expert on beauty, but I do think it's good to know what works for you and what doesn't. And fortunately for all of us, there is Sephora. Their beauty advisors really get beauty from personalized recommendation to what's hot on social. They're experts so we don't have to be. And when you want the best in beauty, you go to Sephora for the good stuff you can't find anywhere else, like Kayali fragrances, endless shades of Haus Labs foundation, and the laneige overnight lip masks that everyone is obsessed with. Get beauty from people who get beauty. Only at Sephora. You have this moment. You're on that set. You're learning what kind of actor you want to be. Can you walk us through how SVU comes into your life? Because it's. It is. I mean, that show is beyond a TV show. That show is not only like a cornerstone for a network, a franchise, but it's also become, you know, an iconic American experience. That show, and you are the captain of that ship and I'm sure all of these things you are now able to reflect and kind of process and hopefully enjoy. But at the very beginning, when it's not a tree yet and it's just a little tiny seedling, what's that experience? You walking in, finding out about that show, auditioning for it, meeting Dick Wolf. Scary, scary Dick Wolf. I'm scared of Dick Wolf. I'm sure he Sees some scary.

[Mariska Hargitay]

You know what? Dick Wolf wasn't scary to me then because I didn't fully know who he was and what he represented. And, you know, I don't know if. If you've talked to Chris or. But if he told you about our audition. No, the experience was pretty magical. In terms of.

[Amy Poehler]

Okay, tell us, please.

[Mariska Hargitay]

In terms of. I mean, listen, I have this personality, and Chris and I. I think where we bonded is that we both have that sense of humor, that sense of play, that sense of risk, that sense of, I love you, it's safe, so I'm gonna beat you. You know what I mean? And so that's where the trust was built, and it came immediately. So I had read for svu, he OB had read for svu. And so our callback was three women, three men. And we got to the audition, and we were to be paired up.

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah, people don't know that. That in audition sometimes you just get, like, a dance partner, and it can make or break your chance to get.

[Mariska Hargitay]

On the show, period. Cause it was about chemistry.

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah.

[Mariska Hargitay]

So my agent said, oh, my God, there's an amazing guy there. His name is John Slattery, and he's reading for the role as well. In walks Chris Maloney. And I go, slattery. And he go, maloney. And so minute one, that's how it opened. That's how it opened. Because I didn't know what either one of them looked like in 1999. And he came in, and I didn't know there was gonna be 47 people there. So as soon as Chris comes in, I'm like, slattery. It's gonna be me in Slattery. And he goes, maloney. And then I said, chris comes in, and, you know, he's, like, wearing no clothes. Big surprise.

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah. Buzz surprise.

[Mariska Hargitay]

He has this huge cross. And I'm like, oh, my God, you're a Christian.

[Amy Poehler]

You're just getting it wrong with me.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And he goes like this. Yeah. No. And I go, then why do you have Jesus Christ on your arm? He goes, because I admire his commitment. And I'm like this, okay, got it. Got it. And it was such a. I was like, okay, well, there's that. I've never met anyone like you, but I like it. And so we're sitting there, and then everyone comes in, and then we got paired up, and that was the end of it. Cause I knew he was gonna get it. I knew that he was Elliot Stapler. I knew it. I knew it.

[Chris Maloney]

Wow.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And so the other people, I think he Felt the same way. So as soon as they paired us up, we were like, oh, okay, partner. It was interesting. It was overwhelming. To get back to your question, it was utterly overwhelming. I loved the script and I loved the progressive nature of the show. I loved the subject matter and the fact that they were willing to tackle it. And I loved Chris.

[Amy Poehler]

What's so interesting about your performance in the show and your dynamic together is you trade kind of like masculine and feminine a lot back and forth.

[Mariska Hargitay]

That's right.

[Amy Poehler]

And the dance is really interesting. And in other hands, that character of Olivia Benson would feel a little one dimensional. Cause she would feel, you know, kind of cut off from certain parts of herself. But what's been so interesting and what I'm sure he brings out in you and you bring out in him is the like the yin and yang of those.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Very much so. And I changed very much when he left. But also that was done by design. And because as soon as I got the role, I went through a 40 hour training and became a rape crisis counselor. So I could fully understand because I was entering in such a new world and I wanted to understand the cops of it. I wanted to understand victims, advocates, rape crisis counselors and sexual assault from a more holistic viewpoint. And there was so much for me to learn. And so once I became, you know, did the 40 hour training, I went, oh, I am not going to play this, you know, like a hard nosed detective woman who's trying to fit into a man's world and be masculine. I am going to be all of myself. Because that's where as women, our power lives. But also that's where anyone's power is, is when they have the ability for integration, right? And say, I'm this and I'm this and I'm this and I'm this. What you don't want to do is be put into a box or let anyone put you in a box or put other people in a box for that matter. And then we learned very young, I mean, very early. We weren't young. There was nothing young about us when we got the show. But we learned very early that the show was only as good as the guest cast. Right? So then we became very with the guest cast and we would just like help everyone. And it became really. And that's one of the things I think I'm most proud of is like when you step onto svu, some people come on and they're just unbelievable and talented and they understand it. And some people, they're nervous or they struggle or they don't fully understand the character or they don't. Whatever. We have, like 16 safety nets in place that they. It's very hard to fail on our show because we got you.

[Amy Poehler]

I mean, you're often someone's first job. You're often like, Adam Scott was on here and he talked about how he did a Law and Order episode.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I don't think it was my show.

[Amy Poehler]

No, it wasn't his vu.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And I'm really upset because I'm so obsessed with Adam Scott.

[Amy Poehler]

I know.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And all things. Several.

[Amy Poehler]

And I think it was with Jerry Orbach, who also I used to hear was like, really? Like, if you showed up and you knew your scene, Jerry would love you forever if you didn't know your scene.

[Mariska Hargitay]

No, no. He's like the road kid. What time am I at?

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah, like, chop chop.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yeah, I got a heart. Out of five.

[Amy Poehler]

I get it. Jerry, Jerry, there's a stake waiting for you. And Morton's like, you gotta get outta here.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Period.

[Amy Poehler]

Period.

[Mariska Hargitay]

End of story.

[Amy Poehler]

Yes. But who were some people? You must have seen a lot of people. A lot that have come through that you thought you saw them at the beginning of something. Is there anyone that you can.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Abigail Breslin.

[Amy Poehler]

Ugh.

[Mariska Hargitay]

The two people that I went, holy, holy God. Were Abigail Breslin. She was so young on the show. She kept doing this dance between takes and going like, doo, doo, doo, dooba. Some kind of dance she was doing. And then I started doing it with her. And then we would just do it, and it was some funny little nursery rhyme shtick. I don't know what it was, but I would just do it with her. And then they'd say, action. And I swear to God, I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. She would turn one tear and start like, lip quiver. One tear. No acting. But like I said, I remember going, what the. Are you like Meryl Streep? I said, are you like Meryl Streep? And she'd be like, ha. No, no. And then she'd go back to her nursery rhyme, and I was like, oh, there's something this kid has touched. She is so magical, savant, savant. And then there was another person, another person that I called it, and I remember saying it to her is Megan Fahey. When she did the show, I was like, let me tell you something. I'm just gonna tell you right now. You're gonna be a big movie star. You're gonna be a huge star. And I don't, like, use that word because it's so like, star. What does that even mean? But I just recognized her. A, talent, B, light. And C, she was like. She was so sparkly internally, like an internal sparkle. And there's just been people that have come through where you go, oh, oh, wow. And it's almost like an effortless, beautiful light. And it's so exciting. It's so exciting to see them go on and go. I called it. Totally. I called it.

[Amy Poehler]

And also to your point, I'm just so in awe of the fact that you, in working with the material on a daily basis, then made sure that you were able to handle the material in your personal life like, that you knew, like, okay, I'm gonna really get trained here. So I not only know what I'm talking about, but I imagine you anticipated. Cause I know you do get people who approach you with very personal things. I do, yeah.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Listen, the subject matter of the show is the reason I started Joyful Heart, my foundation.

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah. Talk about that.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Well, I just felt like I can't. When I found out the statistics, which was one out of four, one out of three women in their lifetime will be sexually assaulted. One out of six men in their lifetime will be sexually assaulted. And when I learned those statistics, I was like, stop. Hold please. Why is everyone not talking about this? This is an epidemic. This is something that affects everyone. If you're at lunch with three or four women, one person has been assaulted. And so because as soon as I started the show, everybody, because it was, you know, this, it's on television, it becomes water cooler conversation, and then it's okay to talk about. And that was the power of svu, is that you had these horrific stories, true stories, ripped from the headline, stories being told. And then you had a fierce, protective father figure and a fierce, nurturing mother figure which was, you know, Chris and I, to protect you. And that's all anybody wanted. So I think that a lot of it comes from the fact that there's space to be heard and think about everybody, every person on this planet. All we want is to be seen, to be seen and listened to. That doesn't always happen, but when we're listened to, half of it and believed, half of the injury can go away. And so I know that that's how I heal, is being listened to and believed. And so I think the character who listens, who believes and then feels a need to fix and protect, obviously, is going to create safety, because that's all you want. But I also. I can't save the world. I can't. I'M just trying to do it. But what I can do is teach people about how we begin. Teach people how we. How we can listen and live in a more compassionate, empathetic, and kind way. And simply by listening and simply by believing and simply by saying, I'm so sorry that that happened to you. It's like tectonic plates shifting.

[Amy Poehler]

Well, it kind of gets back to what we were saying, which is it's not so much always about the doing of the thing. It's just about the sitting and the.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Feeling it's sitting in it.

[Amy Poehler]

It's not as much to do as you think.

[Mariska Hargitay]

That's exactly right. And I think to go back to our. How we started this conversation, I think that is the clarity of being older and understanding. And for me, it's been more about learning to be tolerant. Tolerant with myself. And the more tolerant I've become with myself or my own pain, the more internal space that I've had, which is why I was able to make my film. Yeah. Yeah.

[Amy Poehler]

So let's talk about your film. And. And. And Chris's question to me for you is a perfect segue into the film, because Chris wanted me to ask you when we were talking well behind your back, and then he took a phone call from you, and then you talked well, behind my back, thank God. But. No, but Chris wanted me to ask you, like. And it's kind of what we've been talking about today. There's a curiosity to you.

[Mariska Hargitay]

You.

[Amy Poehler]

You don't want to just figure out, you know, you don't want to just be outraged about things that are wrong or not working. You want to fig behind things. The why is very important to you.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And.

[Amy Poehler]

He was wondering, where do you think that comes from? And that question made me think about your film because, you know, for people, you know, it premiered at the Cannes Film Festival. My mom, Jane Mariska, made a beautiful documentary about learning more about herself and her mom and her entire family and all the connections there. And it felt like that exercise in trying to figure out the why behind your origin story feels like it also exists in other things that you do in work and in life and in your family right now. Is there a connection there? Oh, God. Figuring out the why. Yeah.

[Mariska Hargitay]

It's funny. My mom. My stepmom just actually text. I don't have my phone, but she. She texted me yesterday. This sort of why of it all is just coming up right now in a very crystallized way, which I love, when sort of everything sort of comes together like that. But, yeah, I think that I've spent a lot of my life trying to make sense of things, of chaos. And also, I'm living a life right now that I never thought that I was capable of living. Right. And so I still am trying to put together the pieces of why and what those Jenga or LEGO pieces were that helped build it. Right. And so for my film, I was just trying to understand these people and their decisions. And so I wanted to go in with this disciplined curiosity because I had jumped to so many conclusions and because I felt different my whole life, and, like, I didn't belong. And then when I found out what I find out in the film, I was like, why? Why would he not choose me or claim me? Like, what's wrong with me? Why would she leave me in this mess? Why did I feel. What were the things that were set? Why did, like, a little Detective Child? I was like, this doesn't add up. This doesn't add up. This doesn't add up. And I wanted to understand why. And I also wanted to just have somebody be straight with me.

[Amy Poehler]

I mean, Mariska, it's so deep, what you're saying that that is little. Like, that is Detective Child then becomes in real life, this powerful detective on television who is advocating for other people to get answers while she's spent, you know, the very most important beginning years of her life trying to figure that out for herself. Yeah.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And I think that, you know, I don't think I could have made this movie before now.

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I had to build the infrastructure. Yeah, right. To make sure that it was solid as a rock.

[Amy Poehler]

One of the most beautiful things about the film is, you know, this idea that you're toggling between kind of like yesterday and today and your present as you have such a beautiful family and you have such a wonderful partner in Peter.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I do.

[Amy Poehler]

And that relationship, watching that in real time is so moving and also just, like, sexy and fun. Like, you guys are a lot of fun together. I've had the opportunity to see you together, and you're a really. Like, you spoke about it earlier, like, the way in which he can kind of joke you off of the ledge. Like, you guys have fun with each other. You enjoy each other. You've been married for how long?

[Mariska Hargitay]

21.

[Amy Poehler]

And you met on SVU.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Chris and I were so. That was what was hard for people. And a lot of people have said it. We were so in our own private Idaho, and we would just be joking, joking. And it was such intense energy between us that I think people were like, I can't play on that level. Do you know what I mean? I can't. I'm sure it's like that on you guys. Personnel and people go, oh, shit, this is some next level shit.

[Amy Poehler]

Oh, yes. Like sometimes when I would kind of, you know, have someone around all the comedy people and they would just be doing bits and bits and bits. I'd look over to a person's face and they'd be like, get me out of here.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yeah, yeah. No, I can't imagine.

[Amy Poehler]

Help me, help me. Yeah. Or also, like, I don't know how to get. Okay, but Peter, Tall Peter.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Tall Peter.

[Amy Poehler]

How tall?

[Mariska Hargitay]

Six, five.

[Amy Poehler]

Damn. Six, Five, six, five.

[Mariska Hargitay]

No, it's so crazy with Peter and I. And I'll tell you something, that was another thing that my dad said to me. He goes, mirshka, find out where you're going and then who's coming with you?

[Amy Poehler]

Oh, that's so good.

[Mariska Hargitay]

But Peter and I just, you know, I didn't get married Till I was 40 and we, we dated for two years. And then once he asked me to marry him, we got married in four months. Cause I had to do it over hiatus, you know what I mean? And so it was like, okay, chop chop.

[Amy Poehler]

They were like, and we're rolling and.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yeah, we're rolling. And so then it was just. It's been a. You know, I'm so grateful for me that I don't think I could have handled a marriage earlier. I don't think I'd be married. I was just too. Had too much to learn. So I just went straight to like, you know, the second husband.

[Chris Maloney]

Smart.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yeah, right? Yeah, smart. And so it's just good, you know, I'm just grateful that I had a little bit more life experience.

[Amy Poehler]

And what's your communication style? Like? How do you guys, you know, it's so genius. How do you. Yeah, how does it work?

[Mariska Hargitay]

I'll tell you something, we have a skill that I wish I could teach you.

[Amy Poehler]

Can you could start a seminar right now.

[Mariska Hargitay]

What we do is there's like tension. Like somebody will say something and that'll annoy me. And then there's this brilliant thing we do. And I think it's brilliant because again, it's comedy and always works where we do this thing where we switch roles, right? But you do a thing like if I said Peter, you know, I'll get mad at him. Cause he'll leave his clothes around and he leaves little messes everywhere. And I'm like, why can't you just pick your shit up and put it, like, why does it have to be in every room? Everywhere he goes, there's message everywhere.

[Amy Poehler]

Just tiny little pile.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Just tiny little pile. And I'm like.

[Amy Poehler]

And he's so tall that the piles must be huge.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Huge. That's exactly right. And I'm like, why? Do you see how much effort I put into having the house neat? I need the mental space for something to be organized. I have so much going on. And so then he'll do. I'll get like, mad, and we'll have things.

[Amy Poehler]

He's like, yeah, I just left it.

[Mariska Hargitay]

There for one second, whatever it is. And then he'll come in and I've left a cup. And he goes, how many times have I asked you? It's really important to me. If you could just. And then he'll say, exactly what I said. So what it means is he really gets it.

[Amy Poehler]

Yes.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And it works with everything.

[Amy Poehler]

So you're meaning. He parrots back to what you said.

[Mariska Hargitay]

But from his point of view. But from his point of view, as he takes. It's like wife appropriation. Well, it's.

[Amy Poehler]

I think it's actually what they do in couples therapy, which is basically like.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Say back, yes, but he does it as it's his. And the problem now is because I'll do it to him. I go like, He'll. Sometimes I'll say the wrong word. And he's like, I just wish you'd be more thoughtful with your words. Because he always says the right word. And I say the gist. Right?

[Amy Poehler]

I'm a gist person, too.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I'm a gist. And so I go, you know what I mean? And look at all this, like, gesticulating I'm doing. So you could feel me. I could. My energy is coming at you. And he's like, just be. Take a second and maybe think about it. But all in our house, the comedy thing is we just rip on the kids.

[Amy Poehler]

Same.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I mean, I just say, don't do that, because if you do that, you're a hack and a loser. Is that what you want to be? Is that what you want to be? Totally. And people come over and they don't know us. They're like, oh, shit. And I go, yeah, to me, that.

[Amy Poehler]

Is what intimacy is that. I've said this before, but, like, politeness is for strangers and for people that we don't know.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Like, by the way, I don't feel safe around polite. Because then I'm like, me neither.

[Amy Poehler]

Because. What are you thinking? I promise you, I won't torture you. I won't play games with you. And don't. And please. If I go, do you like this? And someone goes, no.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I go, great.

[Amy Poehler]

I want to know if they don't like it.

[Mariska Hargitay]

We're exactly the same. This way. Yeah. Somebody came to me and said, do you like these shoes? And I went, nope.

[Amy Poehler]

And it helps with directing, doesn't it? Because you just make really fast decisions.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I say, do you know what I do on the set? You can ask them when I'm directing. I go, guys, guys, you suck. And I'll say that. I go, oh, my God, you're so bad. We'll be in the middle of a take. I say, you guys are so bad. I don't know what just happened, but I'm embarrassed for you. Let's cut and try that again. But now they know to laugh. But they also know I'm right.

[Amy Poehler]

Yes. And also, you know what I love about you, Mariska, is I knew that.

[Mariska Hargitay]

You wouldn't tell me.

[Amy Poehler]

I knew you wouldn't do this podcast unless you wanted to.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I wanted to so bad, because I.

[Amy Poehler]

Know that you don't really do things you don't want to do.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Not anymore.

[Amy Poehler]

Right. That's kind of like the reward that one gets if they're trying to stay true and they're trying to be a good person. One of the rewards, if you're paying attention, is you might get to a point where you really try to stay true to what you want to do.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yeah.

[Amy Poehler]

And so I get comfort in that. Like, you're here because you want to be here, not because someone told you to be here.

[Mariska Hargitay]

No, exactly.

[Amy Poehler]

Okay. But let's get into some real questions.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Okay?

[Amy Poehler]

Okay.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Hold on.

[Amy Poehler]

So this is rapid fire. Speaking of directness.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Okay, rapid fire, let's go.

[Amy Poehler]

Jalen Brunson, love.

[Mariska Hargitay]

People are so jealous of me.

[Amy Poehler]

I know. The cutest relationship ever. How did that start? He loves you.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I love him.

[Amy Poehler]

I know you guys love me.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Let's get started.

[Amy Poehler]

New York Knicks player for the New York Knicks.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I mean, it's just the sweetest thing, and it's just like another one of those meant to be. Sometimes I don't even question things. I think Jalen was brought up on svu. You know what I mean? I think his dad, Rick. Every time I say that, I laugh. It sounds like I'm name dropping Rick. Rick and I were like this. But Rick. Rick loved svu. He watched it. Jaylin. So I think the first time I went, they were like, oh, like, you know, they in that. And then we connected, and it was Just easy and effortless. And I'm, you know, huge basketball fan. And I got to meet Jaylen also before he was Jaylin. You know, he's Jaylin now. These last, what, three, four years? Right? But it predates that. And so it's so beautiful because there was just such a. He's so. I mean, he's so sweet. He's such a killer and such a captain and such a leader. But he is so, like, soft and mushy and sweet and kind, and he's such a lover of his family. He's so good. And so I just feel so honored to be in his orbit.

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah, it's really, really.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I really do. It's crazy.

[Amy Poehler]

It really makes you feel good.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yeah.

[Amy Poehler]

Okay. I'm sure you've had a million strange things happen to you shooting in the streets of New York. Anything that stands out, like a moment of pretty wild New York, like, you know, only in New York moment.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Well, there's, you know, there's the old. When we're shooting, and then people just come up to us right while we're in the seat and start talking and then be like, oh, my God, I love your show. And I'm like, well, that's good. Cause we're actually shooting it right now to see that camera. And they're like, oh, my God.

[Amy Poehler]

Hi.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And then they keep talking. So that I like. Or there's the opposite of that. When people have said to me and Chris, Chris, I love this one. I don't really get your show. I don't get you or your show. And I'm like, well, okay, thank you, thank you.

[Amy Poehler]

Thank you for that in person feedback.

[Mariska Hargitay]

It doesn't speak to everyone.

[Amy Poehler]

And they go right up and tell you, do you think of yourself as a New Yorker now?

[Mariska Hargitay]

I do.

[Amy Poehler]

You do?

[Mariska Hargitay]

I do now, yeah.

[Amy Poehler]

Okay, what about who should play you in the movie of your life? I always. Let's think about this.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Oh, God, that's a good one.

[Amy Poehler]

I mean, it's. Because it's like, do we want. Do we want. I feel like it's got a. I feel like it's like a. There's a really good girl.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I can't think of her name.

[Amy Poehler]

I think it's Cate Blanchett. I think Cate Blanchett plays you in the story of your life.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I like it. Now you are really thinking outside the box here, sister.

[Amy Poehler]

I want this movie to open, baby.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I want this Caitlyn Shat. I think it's. Well, I'm going to go with Meghan Fahey. See How I go. Nice.

[Amy Poehler]

Megan Fahey. Is you in your 20s and 30s on ER, trying to figure it out. And then we cut to the side of the.

[Mariska Hargitay]

She had the same beautiful.

[Amy Poehler]

And it's cake planchette.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Beautiful blue eyes. Go ahead.

[Amy Poehler]

You're right. Okay. Have you always had such nice hair?

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yes. Yes, I have.

[Amy Poehler]

Your hair is incredible.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Well, my hair was good. It was in the. Well, my hair was good. I didn't love. I had some bad years on SVU when it turned out bad years on tv. I did some Martha Washington stuff that was not good.

[Amy Poehler]

We always do. We've all been there.

[Mariska Hargitay]

So there was some stuff that I. There was not good that combined with, like, bad Botox. I had some bad years.

[Amy Poehler]

We all have had some. We've all made some choices that we regret that we're back and all that.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yeah.

[Amy Poehler]

And we have just tousled and loose. I have so much fake hair, and I don't even want to take it out on the table. It would be horrifying.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Do you know that I didn't wear fake hair today because I was like.

[Amy Poehler]

It's just because you were like, amy's not gonna wear it.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I know. She goes, do you want to put in a piece? I go, no. Amy's like, just real and natural.

[Amy Poehler]

I'm totally real. And she.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I just want to be like amy and half natur.

[Amy Poehler]

25 pieces of fake hair. Okay.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Next time I come, should I be invited back? I'm gonna look like Rapunzel. Okay.

[Amy Poehler]

I want full volume. How badly have people screwed up your name?

[Mariska Hargitay]

Oh, I still live with it. Who was it last night? Oh, I had a lunch yesterday. I had a brunch yesterday for my sister, and my cousin was there. Your own cousin? I've known him from 19, since 1994. And he kept calling me Mariska. And at one point I go. And then I said, no, just let it go. And then Chris and my friends, when it happens. Cause it happens on set a lot now. On the call sheet, it's M A R I S H, H, H, H, H, H, H, H, K A. That's how I put it on the call sheet. Just so people go, oh, okay, got it. She's big on the H's, but he was calling me. I get called Maritza, Marcica, Markiska, but Chris will call me Maritza on set.

[Amy Poehler]

Or just to confuse people.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Oh, yeah, Maritza. Maritza and Marissa.

[Amy Poehler]

You know, I'll tell you who learned it. All of America and the world. The world learned it so.

[Mariska Hargitay]

But it's Mariska. Mariska.

[Amy Poehler]

And what does it mean? What does that name mean?

[Mariska Hargitay]

Oh, gorgeous, talented. One ray of sunshine. Queen of. Queen of. Queen of.

[Amy Poehler]

Queen of. Queen of something. Queen of straight talk.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yes.

[Amy Poehler]

The one with the thick, luxurious hair.

[Mariska Hargitay]

That's means. It's a nickname for Maria. It means little Maria in Hungarian. The K A or K e on end of a name. It just is like a little endearment. So the name is actually Maria after my grandmother. Both of them Hungarian and Italian. See the film people, right On HBO right now. On HBO right now.

[Amy Poehler]

Such a good film.

[Mariska Hargitay]

It's such a good. But don't you kind of love that? Both grandmothers beautiful also. Maria. Same name. Maria. Maria.

[Amy Poehler]

Do you. You're a Hamilton fan, by the way. Cause I was about to sing so hardcore.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Me too. Did you say it 27 times?

[Amy Poehler]

No.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I win.

[Amy Poehler]

Two seven.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Two seven. And by the way, my claim to fame and when people say, like, when did you know you were famous? And I go, when I would call Hamilton or just show up at the theater and they'd go. They'd bring a chair and put it in the audience.

[Amy Poehler]

And I'd be like, that's right. You earned that.

[Mariska Hargitay]

You earned that. I was so like, I've made it.

[Amy Poehler]

You earned that.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I don't even have to have a ticket. You know how much those tickets were?

[Amy Poehler]

No, they were like, let's get Mariska her chair.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Just get her her chair. I'm an old woman.

[Amy Poehler]

I didn't even mind. I went by yourself.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And I go in with a cane, right?

[Amy Poehler]

That is a 27 times.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I know. And I just had this great actor on SVU last episode, and he's now in the show. And so he was like, I hope you can come. And I go, oh, I'll be there. So it's even a thing where the new cast members want me to come see you.

[Amy Poehler]

Oh, that's so. Have you ever done Broadway?

[Mariska Hargitay]

Broadway?

[Amy Poehler]

Yes. That's how you're supposed to say it.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Well, thank you.

[Amy Poehler]

Broadway. That's how they say.

[Mariska Hargitay]

No, I want to do Broadway.

[Amy Poehler]

Broadway.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I want to be in an all woman. Hamilton fuck. Right? You and me was straight talk. Okay, wait a minute. We would be Aaron Burr and. And Hamilton.

[Amy Poehler]

Well, who's.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Who.

[Amy Poehler]

Let's get. Let's take a minute. Let's.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Okay, let's. Yeah. Thank you. Slow it all down right now.

[Amy Poehler]

Who's. Who. Aaron Burr.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Cause I think I. I think. I think you might. I think I might be Aaron Burr. I.

[Amy Poehler]

That's what I Was gonna say.

[Mariska Hargitay]

You swear?

[Amy Poehler]

Yes. And not just because I want to be Hamilton.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I want you to be Hamilton.

[Amy Poehler]

I think you are Aaron Burr and.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I feel like I could get the rage.

[Amy Poehler]

I think you have a gravitas that Aaron Burr needs. Cause. And I think I have a. Like a.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Like a. I know all the lines though.

[Amy Poehler]

Do you? An energy. I don't know. I get you. Maybe you should do both.

[Mariska Hargitay]

But you just do there and then you lip sync to me on the stage. But the only problem is one thing I can't say.

[Amy Poehler]

You can't sing.

[Mariska Hargitay]

No. But maybe we do it like in.

[Amy Poehler]

Well, God is fair. We don't need you. You can't sink. One thing you can't do, babe. One thing. You can't sing.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Oh, that's funny. Ask me more questions.

[Amy Poehler]

Okay, okay, okay. What's making you laugh these days? What do you. I always ask my guests, what do you like? What do you listen to do read like, you know, to lighten up, to laugh.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Neyfargazi.

[Amy Poehler]

Oh, love Nate.

[Mariska Hargitay]

He's my fave.

[Amy Poehler]

He's so.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I'm so. I don't even know what he. I don't even understand what he's doing.

[Amy Poehler]

Okay, let's break him down because I love him.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Well, it's the. He's like mastered this like kind of slow guy that's a genius. Right? That's the shtick, right? He's kind of slow and dumb, but he's smarter than everyone.

[Amy Poehler]

Yes.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I love him so much. And can I tell you why? Also I love him. I was in la, I didn't know who he was, and I was with my friend and she said, I think that's Nate Bargazzi. And I said, who's Nate Bargazzi? And he goes, that's August's favorite comedian. So I went up to him and I go, are you Nate Bargazzi? Hoping I'm saying it right now.

[Amy Poehler]

He was like, we're shooting right now.

[Mariska Hargitay]

He goes, yeah, I am. And I go, well, my son loves you. Can we call him? I swear to God. No, I swear to you. I swear to you. I did. And you know why I did it? Because do you know how many people do that to me? And I thought that I had good karma, I had good call karma. And you know what he said? Yeah. And so we called him and I'm like, August last you did not forgot. He's like, hey man, I love him, love him.

[Amy Poehler]

He's so funny. Do you watch a lot of stand up? Do you like to go to see stand up.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I love good. I love good comedy. It's my happy. That is my happy place, August. That's what we love. But I'm also critical. Yeah, they're not funny. And I don't know why you have to judge.

[Amy Poehler]

You can judge as much as you do.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I judge what I like.

[Amy Poehler]

I feel like comedy is like music.

[Mariska Hargitay]

That's true.

[Amy Poehler]

You just like who you like. You like what? Like, you like their song. Whatever it is, I love it. And I love Nate and I love.

[Mariska Hargitay]

You know what I'm listening to late at night before I go to bed. I don't know why I love it so much. Is that Jim Carrey bit doing Vanilla Ice.

[Amy Poehler]

Hold on. Okay. It's an In Living Color sketch.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Yes.

[Amy Poehler]

This is it. And he's dancing. Watch.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Just listen.

[Amy Poehler]

Oh, my God. He really looks like him. He kicks his shoe off.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Just watch while I threw off my laces. Is that not the best thing?

[Amy Poehler]

This was so fun.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I know, but can you imagine how excited Cause I said I used to see you around.

[Amy Poehler]

Well, we.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I don't see you anymore. And I remember. I remember. What do you remember? They say you're good and sparkly and beautiful and kind, and you bring joy.

[Amy Poehler]

Thanks, Mariska.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And Chris doesn't like anyone.

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah.

[Mariska Hargitay]

He really is a very judicious guy. And he loves his family, he loves his kids, and he has, like, three friends. He likes me.

[Amy Poehler]

Yeah.

[Mariska Hargitay]

And that's pretty much it. And I just remembered, like, he just loved.

[Amy Poehler]

That's very nice to say.

[Mariska Hargitay]

I was so funny that I called him today.

[Amy Poehler]

Okay, Mariska, you're the best.

[Mariska Hargitay]

This was so fun. I told you. She's like, are you ready? I was like, sweetheart, I'm born ready.

[Amy Poehler]

Thank you so much, Mariska. That was so fun. That was such a good hang. And, you know, in this polar plunge, I just want to take a second to say, let's picture a world in which Cate Blanchett plays Mariska Hargitay in a movie of her life story. Because I would watch it. And if there's any producers or financiers listening who want to partner up with me on that and Kate, if someone can get this message to Kate, I think that that would be a great project. And I've been asked before, if your life was a movie, who would you want to play you? And my answer is very simple, and that is Meryl Streep. I want the best. And I can't guarantee the movie will be good or interesting in any way. Honestly, it'll probably be a flop, but Meryl at the helm. It's gonna be a good performance. So Meryl Kate and Meryl, I'm assuming you're together. Please, please call us at 1-800-good-HANG THE MOVIE. Hashtag Marisha Gaargitay's movie. Hashtag Life, Life rights. And we'll get this going. Okay, Sorry, I've lost the plot. Okay, bye. Thanks for listening.

[Mariska Hargitay]

Bye.

[Amy Poehler]

You've been listening to Good Hang the executive producers for this show are Bill Simmons, Jenna Weiss Berman, and me, Amy Poehler. The show is produced by the Ringer and Paper Kite. For the Ringer, production by Jack Wilson, cat Spillane, Kaia McMullen and Alaia Z. Daenerys. For Paper Kite, production by Sam Green, Joel Lovell and Jenna Weiss Berman. Original music by Amy Mil.