Podcast Summary: Good Inside with Dr. Becky
Episode: A Different Take on Screen Time
Release Date: August 12, 2025
Host: Dr. Becky Kennedy
Guest: Ash Brandon, Educator and Gamer Educator
Introduction
In the episode titled "A Different Take on Screen Time," Dr. Becky Kennedy welcomes Ash Brandon, an educator, researcher, and former middle school teacher. Ash is renowned on Instagram as the Gamer Educator, where they provide compassionate and practical tools to help parents set screen time boundaries without inducing shame or sparking power struggles. Ash also announced the release of their new book, "Power On," available in bookstores from August 26th. Dr. Becky expresses her enthusiasm for the conversation, highlighting how Ash's insights helped her navigate her own triggers related to her children's screen time.
Rethinking Screen Time: From Rules to Family Needs
Transitioning from Summer to Fall
As the season shifts from summer to fall, many parents grapple with reducing their children's screen time. Dr. Becky notes, "I hear from parents in this kind of summer to fall transition all the time. Just like, I feel like I had a lot of screen time over the summer. Like, it's time to tighten up" (02:24). Ash emphasizes that summer is a period of relaxation and flexibility, contrasting with the structured demands of the school year. They suggest leveraging positive screen activities experienced during summer, such as family movie nights, and continuing these enjoyable routines into the fall (02:59).
Shifting the Paradigm: What Works for the Family
Dr. Becky and Ash advocate moving away from rigid questions like "What's the right amount of screen time?" Instead, they propose starting with assessing the family's unique needs and what screen time can accomplish for them. Ash outlines three main tenets:
- Screen Time as a Social Inequity Issue: Recognizing that access and control over screen time can reflect broader social disparities.
- Screens as a Part of Life Without Being the Center: Integrating technology into daily life without allowing it to dominate.
- Screen Time Serving the Whole Family: Ensuring that screen use meets the needs of both children and adults, often alleviating burdens for caregivers (04:55).
Ash highlights that screens often serve to help adults manage their responsibilities, especially in challenging circumstances like single parenting or unconventional work schedules. This perspective shifts the focus from solely evaluating the impact on children to understanding how screens can support the entire family's functionality.
Addressing Parental Guilt and Embracing Neutrality
Overcoming Shame and Fear
Dr. Becky addresses a common sentiment among parents: guilt over allowing their children too much screen time. She states, "There's so much shame, Right? And the irony also there is the things that we hold a lot of shame around, we actually can't even change" (07:38). Ash concurs, explaining that decisions driven by fear or shame are less effective. Instead, adopting a neutral stance toward screens enables parents to make informed, sustainable choices without internalizing negative judgments (07:38).
Emphasizing Sustainable Practices
Dr. Becky and Ash stress the importance of sustainability over perfection. Ash points out that healthy screen usage doesn't always equate to minimal use but instead focuses on what is manageable and beneficial for the family. This approach also prepares children to navigate a technologically driven world with digital literacy and safety (08:00).
Practical Strategies: Setting Boundaries and Encouraging Autonomy
Morning Routine Scenario
Dr. Becky presents a common scenario: establishing a morning routine where excessive screen time disrupts timely departures for school. She asks Ash for guidance on handling such situations (09:21). Ash recommends:
- Identifying Non-Negotiables: Determine fixed family needs, such as leaving the house by a specific time.
- Involving Children in Decision-Making: Allow children to contribute to when and how screen time can fit into the routine, fostering a sense of agency (10:46).
Drawing Parallels with Video Games
Ash draws a compelling comparison between parenting screen time and the mechanics of video games. They explain how games establish clear boundaries and rules, providing players with autonomy within those confines. For example, in Super Mario, the consistent rules around brick blocks and power-ups teach players about the game's environment without emotional backlash (15:08). This analogy serves to illustrate how clear, neutral boundaries can offer children both structure and freedom.
Consistency and Neutral Enforcement
Dr. Becky adds that consistent rule enforcement, much like in video games, helps children understand and adapt to boundaries without taking it personally. Ash reinforces that rules should be applied consistently and neutrally to prevent emotional strain and promote autonomy (18:13).
Defining 'Too Much' Screen Time: A Flexible Approach
Research vs. Practical Application
Ash acknowledges that research often labels excessive screen time as four or more hours per day, but they argue that such definitions can be too rigid. Instead, they advocate for assessing whether the current screen usage meets the family's needs and is manageable without causing significant disruption (32:25).
Balancing Needs and Sustainability
Instead of adhering strictly to external standards, Ash suggests evaluating whether the screen time is fulfilling necessary functions, such as keeping children occupied during meal preparation. If a particular show leads to difficulties, parents can adjust the screen time strategy without guilt, viewing it as data to inform future decisions (35:12).
Building Essential Life Skills
Dr. Becky emphasizes that excessive reliance on screen time can hinder the development of crucial skills like frustration tolerance and emotional regulation. She encourages parents to create a balanced environment where screens are one of many tools for learning and growth, not the sole source of entertainment or engagement (37:08).
From Fear to Empowerment: Equipping Children for the Digital World
Shifting from Protective to Empowering
Ash advocates moving away from a fear-based approach to screen time, instead focusing on empowering children with the skills to navigate technology responsibly. They compare this to teaching children about water safety around pools—recognizing their inherent dangers while providing the necessary skills to enjoy them safely (29:37).
Fostering Digital Literacy and Safety
By emphasizing digital literacy and safety, parents can help children develop a healthy relationship with technology. This approach not only diminishes parental anxiety but also equips children with the abilities to manage their digital interactions effectively (43:05).
Conclusion: Embracing Neutrality and Empowerment
In the closing segment, Dr. Becky reflects on the discussion, highlighting the value of removing shame from screen time conversations and focusing on what works best for each family. Ash reiterates the importance of neutrality and empowerment, ensuring that both parents and children develop the necessary skills to navigate a technology-rich world without fear or judgment.
Dr. Becky wraps up the episode with her signature affirmation: "Place your feet on the ground, place a hand on your heart. And let's remind ourselves even as I struggle on the outside, I remain good inside." This serves as a comforting reminder to parents to embrace their efforts without succumbing to self-judgment.
Notable Quotes:
- Dr. Becky Kennedy (02:24): "I know you will also learn something new, have a reframe for how you think about screen time and also feel empowered to deal with screen time with your kids in a way that feels good instead of ridden with guilt."
- Ash Brandon (07:38): "When we come from that place of fear, fear is not empowering. I'm not going to make my best decisions when I'm acting out of fear or shame."
- Dr. Becky Kennedy (24:53): "Our kids get upset at the end of screen time... but we are so quick to rattle off like, we're never doing this again and I'm throwing away your iPad and this is bad and I knew it. And I'm a horrible parent."
This episode provides a fresh perspective on managing screen time, encouraging parents to adopt a neutral, needs-based approach that fosters autonomy and emotional regulation in children. By shifting the focus from rigid rules and parental guilt to empowerment and sustainable practices, Dr. Becky and Ash offer valuable insights for navigating the complexities of screen time in modern parenting.