Good Inside with Dr. Becky - Episode Summary: "A Funny Take on Millennial Parenting with Alana Glazer"

Release Date: March 4, 2025
Guest: Alana Glazer, Comedian, Writer, Producer, and Mother

1. Introduction to Millennial Parenting

Dr. Becky Kennedy welcomes Alana Glazer to discuss the nuances of millennial parenting. Alana introduces herself, highlighting her new comedy special Human Magic on Hulu and her passion for parenting topics. She emphasizes the focus of their conversation on millennial parenting, sleep struggles, and boundaries.

2. Shifting Paradigms: Millennial vs. Traditional Parenting

Alana and Dr. Becky delve into how millennial parents differ from previous generations. Alana points out that millennials are the first generation to openly embrace therapy without stigma. She remarks:

"Millennials are kind of the first generation to be so. Not casually therapized, but it's not a shameful thing anymore." [05:14]

Dr. Becky concurs, discussing the longstanding use of harsh disciplinary methods in American parenting, such as timeouts and sticker charts. She critiques these methods, likening them to outdated practices not tolerated in modern workplaces or coaching environments.

3. The Importance of Boundaries

A significant portion of the conversation centers on the concept of boundaries in parenting. Dr. Becky shares her journey of realizing that traditional disciplinary tools were dehumanizing:

"You never wondered, well, like, how are we raising humans? No one ever talked about that." [11:53]

Alana echoes this sentiment, describing how these methods strip away children's humanity and turn them into mere employees:

"The curriculum about childcare that we've learned for so long is really dehumanizing and it is aiming to make our children our employees." [11:57]

They discuss redefining boundaries, emphasizing that true boundaries protect both the parent and child without dehumanizing the child. Dr. Becky introduces two perspectives on boundaries:

1. Boundaries as Commitments:
   "Boundaries are what you tell others you will do and they require the other person to do nothing." [38:56]

2. Boundaries as Relationship Maintenance:
   "A boundary is a way of telling someone what I need to continue feeling good about my relationship with you." [42:06]

4. Personal Stories and Experiences

Dr. Becky recounts her experience with traditional parenting methods, initially believing in their efficacy before realizing their shortcomings during her private practice. She shares a pivotal moment when she told parents she no longer believed in the methods she was teaching, leading to a transformative shift in her approach.

Alana shares her struggles with setting boundaries, both as a parent and in her professional life. She discusses the challenges of balancing her career, personal well-being, and motherhood, highlighting moments of vulnerability and growth.

5. Navigating Sleep Struggles

Sleep issues are addressed as foundational to effective parenting. Dr. Becky emphasizes that disrupted sleep affects both parents and children, leading to heightened frustration and ineffective parenting:

"When your kids sleep is disrupted and your sleep is disrupted, nobody has any large percentage of what they would need to even manage the other things." [22:32]

Alana relates her own sleep struggles, sharing creative solutions like incorporating baths to soothe her child and manage her own exhaustion.

6. Embracing Human-Centric Approaches

Both speakers advocate for parenting methods that prioritize the child's humanity and emotional well-being. Dr. Becky stresses the importance of seeing the good inside each child, fostering a positive self-image and resilience. She warns against projecting negative emotions onto children, which can damage their self-esteem and relationship with parents.

Alana adds that authentic connections and empathy are crucial, sharing how therapy has helped her redefine her approach to boundaries and relationships.

7. Conclusion: Redefining Parenting for the Modern Age

The episode wraps up with reflections on the evolving landscape of parenting. Alana and Dr. Becky reiterate the importance of moving away from punitive measures towards supportive, boundary-respecting practices that honor each child's individuality and emotional needs.

Dr. Becky invites listeners to join the Good Inside community for more resources and support, reinforcing the podcast's mission to empower parents through compassionate guidance.

Notable Quotes:

• Alana Glazer on Millennial Accountability:
  "I think that we, I like to believe that millennials are imparting this accountability and separateness to their children, more than any generation before." [06:03]

• Dr. Becky on Dehumanizing Discipline:
  "This system... does extinguish parts of our humanity." [11:57]

• Alana on Setting Boundaries:
  "Holding a boundary helps preserve my relationship with you." [42:56]

• Dr. Becky on Parenting Wins:
  "My win was not dependent on my toddler doing anything." [40:37]

Key Takeaways:

1. Rejection of Traditional Punishments: Modern parenting moves away from timeouts and sticker charts, seeking more empathetic and respectful methods.
2. Boundaries as Empowerment: Effective boundaries support both parents and children, fostering healthy relationships without dehumanization.
3. Importance of Sleep: Adequate sleep is foundational for managing parenting challenges and maintaining emotional balance.
4. Embracing Therapy and Self-Reflection: Openly seeking therapy and self-improvement is a hallmark of millennial parents, reducing stigma around mental health.
5. Fostering Positive Self-Image in Children: Recognizing and reinforcing the inherent good in children builds resilience and self-worth.

By reimagining parenting through the lens of empathy, boundaries, and human-centric practices, Dr. Becky Kennedy and Alana Glazer offer valuable insights for parents striving to nurture confident, emotionally healthy children in today’s complex world.