Good Inside with Dr. Becky: Let’s Talk About Sex

Host: Dr. Becky Kennedy
Date: October 28, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Becky Kennedy tackles one of the most challenging and often uncomfortable topics for parents—talking to kids about sex. Recognizing that children today are exposed to sexual content at increasingly younger ages, Dr. Becky aims to empower parents with practical tools and perspectives so they can approach these conversations calmly, honestly, and without shame. The episode features personal anecdotes, step-by-step guidance, and answers to listener questions, demystifying how—and when—to address kids’ curiosity about sex, bodies, and relationships.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Why Talk to Kids About Sex? (00:00–04:15)

• Increased Early Exposure:
  Children encounter sexual images and content earlier than ever before, often accidentally.

  “In a study conducted by Common Sense Media in 2023, the average age kids are exposed to sexual images or porn is 12, and a whopping 58% of those kids come across that material accidentally.” (00:47)

• Importance of Parental Guidance:
  Parents can act as the primary trusted resource, counterbalancing what kids might learn from the internet or peers. Open conversations decrease stigma and awkwardness, promoting safety and healthy development.

2. Dr. Becky’s Personal Story: Sex Ed on the Subway (04:16–11:44)

• A Teachable Subway Moment:
  Dr. Becky recounts a subway ride with her five-year-old son, who mistook a condom for candy. This real-life example illustrates the unpredictability of kids’ curiosity and the importance of honest, matter-of-fact responses.

  “I couldn’t describe to him what a condom was unless we talked about how babies were made and sex … so here we were. And we talked.” (06:40)

• Taking Away Taboo:
  Using correct anatomical language and answering direct questions honestly can neutralize potentially awkward topics, make space for ongoing conversations, and help kids feel safe turning to parents with sensitive questions.

  “We live in New York City. They see a lot of different things on the street. They’ve always known they can ask about it and they’ll get an honest answer. And in doing that, it really takes away the stigma.” (08:20)

• Children’s Short Attention Spans:
  After receiving basic, honest answers, children often move on quickly.

  “He just looks at me and says, ‘What’s for dinner tonight?’ Maybe that was his way of saying, I’m saturated. That’s all I needed to know.” (10:54)

3. Big Ideas About Talking to Kids About Sex (13:57–30:32)

Big Idea 1: Why We’re So Uncomfortable

• Discomfort is often inherited, not a sign we’re doing something wrong.

  “You are the first person in a long lineage, in many generations, to even think about answering this question directly.” (15:30)
  “Knowing that the discomfort means new, not wrong, is so helpful as you have these important moments with your kids.” (16:30)

Big Idea 2: What’s the Right Age?

• It’s not about a specific age, but about establishing open communication and using correct language over time.

  “The better framework is: How do I become someone my kid can talk to about uncomfortable, tricky topics? … That never starts with having everything come out all at once.” (19:50)

• Start by:

  • Using real anatomical terms
  • Letting kids know no topic is off limits
  • Honoring their curiosity, regardless of age

Big Idea 3: Will Talking About Sex Make Kids More Interested?

• Evidence and experience show that open dialogue does not make kids more likely to experiment; rather, withholding information drives curiosity underground.

  “When kids have language for something, when they understand something, their curiosity is quenched … When they don’t, they actually have to go act things out in their behavior to try to learn.” (24:22)

• Talking about sex normalizes it rather than making it a forbidden act to rebel against.

  “If you want to make something uncool, be the person who talks about it with your kid. You talk about sex with your kid, your kid will never, when they're older, have sex just to try to prove that they're cool.” (28:09)

Listener Q&A (31:30–47:45)

1. My Young Son’s “Broken” Penis (31:30)

• Context: A boy wakes up with an erection and is alarmed.
• Advice: Stay calm; normalize body changes as kids grow.

  “Whether your penis is harder or softer, you’re totally healthy and nothing is wrong with you. And you can always ask me questions about it.” (33:30)

2. Discovering Sex-Related Searches on Child’s Internet History (34:38)

• Context: Concerned parent discovers sex-related Google searches.

• Advice:

  • Recognize and value curiosity.
  • Openly acknowledge what was found—no guilt-tripping or trick questions.
  • Explain why it’s better to ask parents or other trusted adults for information.
  • Set up parental controls for safety, not as punishment.

  “This is not about you being in trouble. All that tells me is you have curiosity. You’re curious about bodies, you’re curious about sex. And listen to me, that makes a lot of sense.” (37:27)
  “I hate asking kids questions that you already know the answer to. We do not want to try to catch our kids in a lie. That's something we do to an enemy, not a teammate.” (35:51)

3. Overcoming Shame From a Strict Religious Upbringing (41:10)

• Context: Parent struggles to talk about sex due to shame learned in upbringing.

• Advice:

  • Intergenerational change starts with self-talk.
  • Practice new language and challenge old narratives.
  • Read/engage with non-shaming materials about sex for personal healing.

  “The starting point is actually talking to yourself about sex differently, playing around with different language... You’re literally building almost like a new set of words, new language.” (42:43)

4. My 6-Year-Old Touching Herself—Isn’t That Sexual? (45:00)

• Context: Parent worried about young daughter's touching being sexual.

• Advice:

  • Completely normal; distinguish between sensual (bodily comfort/soothing) and sexual.
  • Encourage exploration of what feels good physically as part of healthy development.

  “Her touching herself isn’t a sexual act, it’s a sensual act. Honestly, closer to a kid sucking their thumb as a way to try to soothe themselves.” (46:17)

Notable Quotes

• On Breaking Taboos:

  “We can have conversations with our kids about all the topics that were kind of off limits in our childhood. It’s just some of our biggest impact moments.” (06:53)

• On Parental Authority:

  “How we answer our kids questions when they’re young impacts not only how they learn about that topic, but how their body will remember whether we are someone they want to come to when they’re older and honestly, when the stakes are higher.” (09:47)

• On Generational Change:

  “Cycle breaking. That actually starts with the way we talk to ourselves.” (41:25)

• Empowerment and Openness:

  “You are the parent your child needs, even if you feel anxious and even if some conversations feel awkward.” (47:00, paraphrased from closing remarks)

Key Takeaways & Parent Empowerment

• Kids’ curiosity is healthy, unavoidable, and opens doors for connection when parents respond warmly and honestly.
• Discomfort is normal—and signals change, not failure.
• No “perfect” age—meet your child where they are, and scaffold trust step by step.
• Open dialogue arms children with knowledge, decreases shame, and steers them towards safe, informed decisions as they grow.
• Healing your own relationship with these topics (and the language around them) is foundational for supporting your child.
• Normalize body exploration and questions; treat every topic as worthy of calm, open conversation.

Useful Timestamps

• Stats on Exposure: 00:47
• NYC Subway Condom Story: 04:16
• Talking Anatomy & Early Conversations: 07:10
• Kids’ Short Attention after Conversations: 10:54
• Big Idea 1—Facing Discomfort: 13:57
• Big Idea 2—Right Age?/Framework: 17:44
• Big Idea 3—Will Talking About Sex Make Kids Act Out?: 23:09
• Q&A Segment Starts: 31:30
• Erection Panic: 31:30
• Internet Search Discovery: 34:38
• Religious Shame and Breaking Cycles: 41:10
• 6-Year-Old Touching Herself: 45:00
• Closing Empowerment: 47:00

This episode of Good Inside provides a practical, compassionate playbook for parents on one of the toughest subjects: helping kids navigate sex and sexuality with honesty, confidence, and warmth. Dr. Becky’s blend of real stories, psychological insight, and actionable advice makes it easier for parents to “become someone my kid can talk to about uncomfortable, tricky topics”—an invaluable foundation for a lifelong trusting relationship.