Podcast Summary

Good Inside with Dr. Becky

Episode: Revisit: Surviving Holiday Travel with Kids
Host: Dr. Becky Kennedy
Date: December 23, 2025

Episode Overview

In this revisited episode, Dr. Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist and mother of three, addresses the real challenges of traveling with kids during the holiday season. Through relatable anecdotes, community-sourced wisdom, and practical mindset shifts, Dr. Becky offers actionable strategies to manage meltdowns, sleepless nights, and sibling squabbles on planes and in cars. She encourages parents to set realistic expectations, prepare kids for new experiences, and embrace self-compassion, emphasizing that struggles are a normal part of family life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Managing Parental Expectations and Stress

• Common Trap: “How can I do X without Y?”
  Parents often seek impossible outcomes (“How can I travel with my kids without stress?”), which sets them up for disappointment.

  • Quote:

    “We set ourselves up for more stress when we ask ourself any question that has this formula: How can I do X without Y?”
    — Dr. Becky (05:45)

• Mindset Shift:
  Instead, ask how you can manage stress rather than eliminate it:

  • “How can I travel with my kids and manage my stress?”

  • “How can I reduce the likelihood of meltdowns while being prepared for them?”

    • Quote:

      “Instead of crossing my fingers and hoping they don’t have a meltdown on a plane, maybe there’s a few things I can do to reduce the likelihood, but also prepare myself to be the sturdiest leader I can be.”
      — Dr. Becky (07:20)

2. Preparing Kids for Travel & Meltdowns

• Set Expectations Upfront:
  Prepare children with clear, age-appropriate information about what to expect (going to the airport, being on the plane, etc.).

• Validate Normalcy:
  Meltdowns and anxious behaviors are typical, especially in unfamiliar situations.

  • Quote:

    “First of all, it’s always helpful to tell kids what to expect. To some degree, kids melt down because they’re like, what’s happening to me?”
    — Dr. Becky (08:27)

• Role of the Parent in Meltdowns:
  The parent’s job is not to end the meltdown, but to remain calm and keep everyone safe.
  Use the analogy of a tornado—your job is to seek safety, not control the tornado.

  • Quote:

    “Your job is never to end a tantrum or meltdown. Your job is to keep your body as calm as possible and to keep your kid safe…”
    — Dr. Becky (10:43)

• Imagining Support:
  Visualize fellow travelers as empathetic supporters (even if they appear annoyed).

  • Quote:

    “I almost imagine that if my kid’s having a hard time, they’re looking at me and just saying, ‘I get it, don’t worry, do your thing. We’ve all been there.’”
    — Dr. Becky (12:05)

3. Kids & Sleep Struggles Away from Home

• Understanding the Root:
  Sleep struggles on trips are rooted in anxiety and separation, not just bedtime resistance.

• Nighttime Separations:
  Sleeping alone in a new place represents a significant separation for kids.

  • Quote:

    “Sleep struggles are anxiety and separation struggles, because during sleep, your kids separate from you… now I’m thinking about separating from my kid at night. They’re in a room maybe they’ve never been in. They’re alone, without an adult, without other kids—in the dark.”
    — Dr. Becky (14:30)

• Preparation Strategies:

  • Preview the Environment: Find pictures of the sleeping space, play guessing games (“How many pillows will there be?”), so it feels familiar.

  • Validate Feelings: Help kids name their anxiety, even when it comes out as stalling or random requests.

    • Quote:

      “You can even make a guessing game—Ooh, I wonder what color the wall is going to be…”
      — Dr. Becky (16:24)

4. Handling Sibling Fights During Car Travel

• Parent Empathy:
  Dr. Becky acknowledges her own struggles here, normalizing frustration for listeners.

  • Quote:

    “It’s just a good time to remind you all that I play a good game as Dr. Becky… My kids have Becky. I am a normal parent.”
    — Dr. Becky (19:45)

• Why Car Fights Trigger Us:
  Parents feel trapped and powerless when sibling fights escalate in the car.

• Preemptive Conversation is Key:
  Focus on preparation before the trip—brainstorm strategies and set expectations for working as a team.

  • Sample Script:

    “Hey, we have a car ride next week, and it’s a long one. Car rides can be really hard… I believe in each of you, I believe you can keep your bodies to yourself, and I believe we can think of things that could be fun…”
    — Dr. Becky (22:00)

• Redirect the Question (from audience):
  Instead of “How do I stop a meltdown in the moment?” try, “What can I do beforehand to reduce the chances?”

  • Quote:

    “How can I get on a road that doesn’t end in a cliff? And how can I start to recognize that I’m on a road that leads to a cliff and exit before I get there?”
    — Dr. Becky (22:42)

• Community Advice (Good Inside Forum):

  • Intervene Early: Address conflict at “2 out of 10” instead of waiting for total meltdown.

  • Channel Your ‘Sturdy Pilot’: If stress starts brewing, pull over, be silent for 30 seconds, model calm, and reset.

    • Quote (Community Parent):

      “I did this in silence for 30 seconds. The kids got quiet before getting back on the road; then I’d say, ‘I know car rides can be boring. Let’s get back on track.’”
      — Parent from Good Inside Community (26:10)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Parental Expectation:

  “Two things are true. We don’t have to do one thing without another thing. This mindset is so important to shift.”
  — Dr. Becky (08:07)

• On Feeling Supported (Even by Strangers):

  “Every person remembers, I hope at least, the first time they took their kids on a plane, right? And it was hard. It’s new. It’s different. It’s stressful.”
  — Dr. Becky (11:41)

• Self-Compassion Close:

  “Even as I struggle and even as I have a hard time on the outside, I remain good inside.”
  — Dr. Becky (End, ~31:20)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 05:45: Mindset shift—“How can I manage stress?” vs. “How can I avoid it?”
• 10:43: Parent's role during meltdowns (“tornado” analogy)
• 14:30: Sleep issues and separation anxiety explained
• 16:24: Familiarizing kids with new sleep spaces
• 19:45: Dr. Becky normalizes parental frustration and triggers
• 22:00: Sibling car fights—preemptive brainstorming as a team
• 26:10: Community advice—intervene early, channel your “sturdy pilot”
• 31:20: Closing affirmation (“good inside” mantra)

Takeaways & Tools for Parents

• Expect and accept discomfort—meltdowns and sibling conflicts are normal, not failures.
• Prepare proactively: Set expectations; preview new environments; brainstorm coping strategies with kids.
• Intervene early, not late: Notice simmering conflict and address it calmly before it boils over.
• Self-talk matters: Visualize community support and remind yourself, “I am not alone.”
• Affirm your goodness: Your worth as a parent isn’t determined by the absence of struggle.

“Travel is tricky with kids. This isn’t a reason you shouldn’t travel. In fact, so many areas of parenting are tricky and we do it anyway.”
— Dr. Becky (29:45)