Podcast Summary: Good Inside with Dr. Becky
Episode Title: Revisit - Your Motherhood is Only as Powerful as Your Personhood
Host: Dr. Becky Kennedy
Guest: Cleo Wade
Release Date: February 18, 2025
In this poignant episode of Good Inside with Dr. Becky, clinical psychologist and mother of three, Dr. Becky Kennedy, sits down with renowned author and poet Cleo Wade to delve deep into the intricate balance between motherhood and personal identity. The conversation navigates through the challenges of maintaining one's personhood amidst the transformative journey of parenthood, offering invaluable insights and actionable guidance for parents striving to nurture both themselves and their children.
1. Embracing Change and Self-Love
Cleo Wade opens the discussion by reflecting on the profound changes motherhood brings, emphasizing that while the act of change is straightforward, the accompanying emotions are often overwhelming.
“The hard part is that everyone tells you a baby changes everything. And I think we don't know how to kind of wrap our heads around how much motherhood changes you. And that change is just hard. The act of change is easy. The feelings that accompany change are so difficult.”
[00:05]
Dr. Becky highlights Cleo Wade’s latest book, "Remember Love," which serves as a beacon for parents feeling lost or overwhelmed. The book underscores the importance of returning to self-love as a foundational tool for navigating the complexities of parenting.
“Love is what saves us. And that's especially true in our journey as parents.”
[00:29]
2. Navigating Postpartum Depression
The conversation deepens as Cleo shares her personal journey through postpartum depression, illustrating how societal expectations of motherhood can lead to feelings of inadequacy and guilt.
“Gratitude that comes from a place of guilt is not gratitude.”
[06:22]
She explains how the pressure to feel grateful for motherhood can inadvertently perpetuate feelings of guilt, especially when the reality doesn't match the idealized version portrayed by society.
“Postpartum depression is not so dissimilar than other types of depression or periods of depressive waves where you really do feel that how you are in relationship with yourself and those around you is just off.”
[13:35]
3. The Power of Mantras and Self-Care
Cleo introduces the concept of mantras as powerful tools for redirecting overwhelming emotions and fostering self-compassion.
“A mantra is an anchor. It will yank you from that.”
[22:14]
She shares her personal mantra, "Remember Love," which became a pivotal reminder during her darkest moments, helping her shift her inner dialogue towards self-kindness.
“If self love says, I love you, self care says, prove it.”
[20:48]
4. Reclaiming Personhood Amidst Motherhood
Dr. Becky and Cleo explore the delicate balance of fostering independence in children while ensuring their safety, especially as children approach their teenage years.
“Your motherhood is only as powerful as your personhood.”
[29:36]
This statement underscores the episode’s central theme: the necessity for parents to maintain their individual identities to effectively nurture and support their children.
5. Modeling Self-Care for Children
A significant portion of the discussion focuses on the importance of parents modeling self-care behaviors to teach children the value of personal well-being.
“The only way that they will ever value stillness is by having seen a parent give space and place in the house to stillness.”
[33:21]
Cleo emphasizes that children learn by observation. By prioritizing their own self-care, parents implicitly teach their children to do the same, fostering a healthier familial dynamic.
6. Practical Self-Care Strategies
The conversation concludes with actionable self-care strategies that parents can incorporate into their daily routines:
-
Simple Practices: Drinking water, going for walks, and spending moments in nature.
“Every day, no matter what I went on a walk and I didn't, you know, I kind of put music on, but put everything else on airplane mode.”
[26:20]
-
Setting Boundaries: Allocating specific times for self-reflection and stillness, even amidst the chaos of parenting.
“I am spending a few moments being still, and that's really important to me.”
[33:29]
-
Using Mantras: Repeating affirmations to anchor oneself during moments of anxiety or overwhelm.
“I think for me, that's why the words, the mantras are so important, because that's the first piece always.”
[02:24]
7. Conclusion and Takeaways
Dr. Becky and Cleo Wade wrap up the episode by reinforcing the essential message: maintaining one's personhood is crucial for effective and fulfilling motherhood. They advocate for a compassionate approach towards oneself, encouraging parents to recognize their needs and prioritize self-care as a means to better support their children.
“Every single person needs to be affirmed that their experience is worthy of tenderness, time and attention.”
[25:47]
“The greatest gift you could give to your own daughter now is to show her because your struggle in finding places to give yourself care.”
[33:21]
Notable Quotes:
- “Gratitude that comes from a place of guilt is not gratitude.” — Cleo Wade [06:22]
- “Your motherhood is only as powerful as your personhood.” — Cleo Wade [29:36]
- “I am spending a few moments being still, and that's really important to me.” — Cleo Wade [33:29]
Key Insights:
- Self-Love as a Foundation: Maintaining self-love and personhood empowers parents to foster healthier relationships with their children.
- Authentic Emotions: Acknowledging and expressing genuine emotions, rather than conforming to societal expectations, is vital for mental well-being.
- Modeling Behavior: Parents serve as role models for self-care; their actions profoundly influence their children’s understanding of self-worth and personal boundaries.
- Practical Self-Care: Incorporating simple, daily self-care practices can significantly enhance a parent's ability to navigate the challenges of motherhood.
This episode serves as a compassionate guide for parents, advocating for a harmonious balance between nurturing their children and honoring their own identities. By embracing self-love and authentic emotions, parents can create a supportive and empowering environment for both themselves and their children.