Good Inside with Dr. Becky

Episode: Screens without Shame: Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price

Date: January 27, 2026

Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, Dr. Becky Kennedy sits down with Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, and Catherine Price, author of How to Break Up With Your Phone, to discuss the impact of screens and phones on children, families, and society at large. The conversation explores why parents feel so stuck around screens, what the latest research and real-life experience teach us, and—most importantly—how to make practical, shame-free changes at home. The guests also discuss their new collaborative book for kids, The Amazing Generation: Your Guide to Fun and Freedom in a Screen-Filled World.

The episode balances evidence-based warnings with hope, humor, and actionable advice for families, emphasizing connection, compassion, and collective action over guilt or shame.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Rapid Response and Unintended Consequences of Screens in Childhood

• Jonathan Haidt shares that, post-publication of The Anxious Generation, he was surprised by how quickly mothers globally took action to change screen culture, even influencing legislation, as in Brazil and Australia ([03:54]).

  • Notable Quote:

    "In Brazil, mothers got together...worked with a female legislator that got legislation introduced to ban phones in schools...through the legislature in 10 months." (B, 03:54)

• He notes the problem is even wider than he initially described—screens aren't just fueling mental health crisis, but undermining attention span and agency ([05:32], [09:13]).

  • Notable Quote:

    "I didn’t fully appreciate the degree to which it’s changed the human ability to pay attention, to read a book, to focus..." (B, 03:54)

• Haidt relates stories of college students regaining joy, productivity, and social engagement after cutting social media ([05:37]):

  • "When they [students] do, they get their lives back...I have so much time...I'm going out with my friends." (B, 05:37)

2. The Dopamine Dilemma: How Screen Habits Form and Stick

• Dr. Becky and guests emphasize how starting the day with "no effort, high dopamine" screen habits undermines kids' persistence and attention for real-life challenges ([06:43]).

  • Notable Quote:

    "If every Saturday and Sunday they have X number of hours of time on the iPad as the start of their day...the idea that later they'll do a puzzle...manage frustration...it just doesn’t match up." (A, 06:43)

• Haidt underscores that most students check phones at both the beginning and end of the day and that algorithms—not personal agency—govern their attention ([08:13]):

  • "They're handing over the decisions about their consciousness to these algorithms." (B, 08:13)

3. Attention Is Agency – And Kids Need Systemic Support

• Catherine Price frames attention as our most vital resource ([09:37], [10:59]):

  • "Our lives are what we pay attention to...every time...we’re making a broader decision about how we want to live." (C, 10:22)

• All agree that environment, not willpower, is decisive—adults and kids are no match for algorithms engineered to capture attention ([12:28]):

  • Notable Quote:

    "The people who are in charge of designing the most problematic apps and devices hire thousands of engineers...it’s ridiculous to expect an adult, let alone a kid, to resist." (C, 12:28)

• Jonathan Haidt introduces the "rider and elephant" metaphor for self-control ([13:31]):

  • "If you want to change your behavior...you must change the elephant. You have to change the habitual." (B, 14:33)

4. Shame, Compassion, and The Myth of “Toughening Up” Kids

• Dr. Becky and guests push back on the idea that kids should just "figure it out" with screens as they will with pools and alcohol ([16:32], [18:33]):

  • Memorable Exchange:

    C: "Slot machines are so addictive that states don’t allow people under 18 to play them...smartphones as slot machines we keep in our pockets." (C, 12:59)
    B: "This is not swimming, it’s drinking hard alcohol when you’re young. Don’t do it." (B, 18:33)

• Parental guilt is addressed—change is possible at any time, and compassion (toward self and others) is central to progress ([21:53]):

  • "There’s ... no reason for ... blame and shame in this conversation." (C, 21:53)

5. Modeling, Relationships, and The Power of Repair

• The panel discusses the disruptive effect phones have—on marriages, early childhood development, and connection ([20:33]).

  • Notable Quote:

    "The phone is an experience blocker and a relationship blocker...as it connects you to people far away, it disconnects you from people physically around you." (B, 20:33)

• Concrete advice for parents: Model change, invite your kids into the process, and use humor—e.g., code words for phone reminders ("asparagus"!) ([27:47]).

  • Notable Moment:

    C: "We came up with a code word...asparagus. So it doesn’t feel confrontational, but a gentle reminder." (C, 27:49)

• Dr. Becky reframes parental fear of inconsistency—instead, changing course as you learn is responsible, just like a pilot landing a plane early for safety ([32:00]):

  • "When parents look at it that way, they don’t think of it as changing their mind...they actually are being remarkably consistent." (A, 32:00)

6. Scripts and Practical Shifts Parents Can Make

• Dr. Becky shares a script for changing rules about phones with clarity and conviction ([34:27]):

  • Parent Script Sample:

    "I want to tell you about a decision I’ve made...starting tonight, your phone will no longer charge in your room. I won’t change my mind this time...that’s how much I love you." (A, 36:06)

• Anticipating pushback is key; parents should expect resistance but stick to changes rooted in love ([37:06]).

7. Empowering Kids: The Amazing Generation

• New book for kids: The Amazing Generation, which reframes resisting addictive tech as rebellion and empowerment, not deprivation ([39:06]).

  • Notable Quote:

    "It’s not just, I’m taking away…the thing at the center of your life. This is, do you want to have the kind of childhood your parents and grandparents had?" (B, 38:28)

• Price describes the "Rebels Code": Use technology as a tool, don’t let it use you; fill life with real friendship, freedom, and fun ([41:25]).

8. Rapid Fire Takeaways

Best single action for families:

• Haidt: "No screens in the bedroom, ever." ([42:01])
• Price: "Get an alarm clock." ([42:20])

Hardest advice to follow personally:

• Haidt: "Be more present..."—struggles as a workaholic. ([42:34])
• Price: "I have trouble with email..."—email/news are her trigger. ([43:29])

Where the most hope lies:

• Haidt: Phone-free schools are showing positive results, laughter, library use rising ([43:49])
• Price: Kids are excited to be part of a growing youth rebellion against screen overuse ([44:35])

Parenting legacy:

• Haidt: Wants his kids to say he was calm, listened, and "committed to a vision." ([45:06])
• Price: "I hope my daughter feels that I fully saw her for who she is." ([45:30])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (With Timestamps)

• "Our lives are what we pay attention to." — Catherine Price ([10:22])
• "The phone is an experience blocker and a relationship blocker." — Jonathan Haidt ([20:33])
• "You can start to model habits yourself that will really bring you closer to your children." — Catherine Price ([22:13])
• "When parents look at it that way...they actually are being remarkably consistent." — Dr. Becky ([32:00])
• "No screens in the bedroom, ever." — Jonathan Haidt ([42:01])
• "Get an alarm clock." — Catherine Price ([42:20])
• "The hardest one to live by: be more present." — Jonathan Haidt ([42:34])
• "I hope my daughter feels that I fully saw her for who she is." — Catherine Price ([45:30])

Key Practical Tips (With Timestamps)

• Out of Sight, Out of Mind: Keep devices out of shared spaces ([12:28])
• Family Charging Station: Central, non-bedroom location ([30:00])
• No Devices at Meals: Preserve mealtimes for connection ([30:00])
• Script for Rule Changes: "I want to tell you about a decision I’ve made…" ([34:27])
• Enlist Kids' Help: Agree on code words for phone reminders ([27:47])
• Get an Alarm Clock: Remove phone from bedroom ([42:20])

Episode Highlights by Timestamp

| Timestamp | Segment | Content | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------|---------------------------------------------------| | 03:54 | Impact of The Anxious Generation | Rapid parent action, especially by mothers | | 05:37 | College Students Reclaim Life from Screens | Stories of positive change | | 10:22 | Attention is Agency | The existential cost of giving up attention | | 12:28 | No Willpower Match for Systemic Design | Phones/apps vs. willpower | | 14:33 | Elephants, Riders, and Habit Change | The psychology of lasting change | | 18:33 | Why the Pool Metaphor Falls Short | Screens = early alcohol, not swimming | | 20:33 | Devices as "Experience Blockers" | Family, relationship, infant impact | | 27:47 | Playful System for Accountability | Code word: asparagus | | 32:00 | Changing Your Mind is Consistent Parenting | The pilot metaphor | | 34:27 | Dr. Becky’s Parental Script | Delivering decisions with conviction | | 38:28 | Book for Kids Empowers, Doesn’t Lecture | Positive vision, not deprivation | | 42:01 | One Rule: No Screens in Bedrooms | Concrete, foundational family boundary | | 43:49 | Where Is the Most Hope? | Phone-free schools, youth rebellion |

Conclusion

Main takeaways:

• The impact of screens is deeper and wider than many realize, affecting not just mental health but attention and life satisfaction.
• Parents can make powerful changes by shifting systems—not just relying on willpower—while modeling healthy habits without shame or blame.
• Repair and openness are always possible; it’s never “too late” to shift course as a parent.
• Kids can—and want to—be part of the solution when given a positive, empowering narrative.
• Small, concrete steps (no screens in bedrooms, alarm clocks, meal-time device bans) make a real difference.

Final message:
Place guilt on a shelf. There’s no perfect. There’s just struggling forward, making one small empowered change at a time—together.