Good Inside with Dr. Becky

Episode Summary: "Vulnerability, Courage & Fatherhood"

Host: Dr. Becky Kennedy
Guest: Joe Gonzalez (founder, Brooklyn Stroll Club)
Date: December 2, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode tackles the realities of modern fatherhood through an honest, vulnerable conversation between clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy and Joe Gonzalez, a media professional and founder of Brooklyn Stroll Club. Together, they uncover the loneliness and courage required in parenting, the often-missing community for dads, and the transformational power of showing up with vulnerability, self-reflection, and connection in the father/child relationship.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Need for Community in Fatherhood

(Timestamp: 02:01–06:45)

• Joe's Journey: Joe became a father two years ago and quickly recognized the lack of community for dads, especially in the absence of nearby family support.
  • "When I found out me and my wife were having a kid, it completely changed me. I was like, what am I gonna do? We don't have family here...How are we going to create a village for us?" (Joe, 02:24)
• Building Brooklyn Stroll Club: Joe reached out online, asking, "Where do the dads hang out?" Responses revealed a significant gap; while moms had established groups, dads lacked welcoming spaces.
  • "The consensus was, 'We don't know, you do it!'" (Joe, 02:57)
  • The first informal meetup attracted 20–30 dads and planted the seeds for Brooklyn Stroll Club: "A community for dads to feel seen and supported while giving a new voice to modern fatherhood." (Joe, 04:05)
• Statistics on Male Isolation:
  • "55% of men between 25 and 45 don't have one person they feel close to." (Joe, 06:45)
  • Dr. Becky underscores the implications: "If you don't have somebody as a friend to you...how can that affect you when you become a father and you're actually somebody's closest friend, or as a partner?" (06:45)

2. Hardship vs. Aloneness in Parenting

(Timestamp: 07:20–09:59)

• Redefining the Problem: Dr. Becky shares a core principle:
  • "We can't change the hard. We can change the alone. The transition to parenthood is really hard."
• Agency in Connection:
  • Joe describes how even low-commitment community touchpoints (online chats, weekend strolls) foster a sense of shared experience: "Yeah, that's not gonna cure everything...But that creates the conversation and starts a movement." (08:17)
• Support Beyond Partnership: Dads need others to discuss challenges with, especially when issues arise with their partners.
  • "Our partner can't be the only person we're talking to when we're having a hard time with our partner. It's too circular." (Dr. Becky, 09:07)

3. Socialization of Men & Emotional Processing

(Timestamp: 09:59–10:58)

• Emotional Isolation:
  • Dr. Becky asks: "Do you think most dads or most men, when it comes to something that's hard, have they been socialized to think, 'I just have to make this better or pretend this isn’t happening,' rather than maybe I could talk to someone about this?"
  • Joe: "Yeah, I would say so. I think the male stereotype is just internalize a lot…Find the solution on your own." (10:21)
  • He notes how this impacts families and partnerships: "Your family needs you in those elements...processing these things is really important."

4. Fatherhood as Transformation & Self-Healing

(Timestamp: 11:04–14:22)

• Profound Responsibility:
  • "When I first saw my son, I had this immense responsibility...Can I provide? Can I be there for him and unlearn all the patterns I learned in the past?" (Joe, 11:04)
• Parenting as Self-Work:
  • Dr. Becky: "So much about fatherhood isn't just about raising your kid; it's about re-raising parts of yourself." (12:01)
  • Joe: "Being able to let him have a tantrum or lose his cool and me respond out of patience...that's a healing journey for me as well." (12:58)
• Children as Mirrors:
  • Dr. Becky:
    • "We don’t respond to our kid’s behavior. We respond to the story we tell ourselves and the feelings that come up in us." (30:05)
    • On triggers: "I guess I didn’t resolve that thing...our kids trigger old stuff in us." (13:13)

5. Intergenerational Change & Honoring the Past

(Timestamp: 14:22–16:52)

• Joe’s Reflections:
  • Of his own father: "My dad was really isolated. I think he didn’t have friendships...I saw that in the patterns he reacted to or expressed." (14:27)
  • For himself: "Take the good parts of my dad...and channel it into something better." (15:44)
• Dr. Becky on Blame:
  • "None of this is about blaming our parents. We can say my parent was doing the best they could with the resources they had, and there are things I want to do differently." (15:44)

6. Everyday Parenting Challenges: Tantrums, Boundaries & Repair

(Timestamp: 17:06–26:08)

• Handling Toddler Tantrums:
  • Joe recounts a moment where his son wouldn’t get into the stroller. He and his wife chose not to react punitively:
    • "We just really took him to the park and found a solution rather than just saying, 'Hey, you need to get out of the house.'" (17:06)
  • Dr. Becky distinguishes between validating feelings and still holding boundaries:
    • "You can validate and see your kid's emotions as real—AND you can still put them in a stroller when they're crying...Loved doesn’t mean giving in."
• Playing the Long Game:
  • Joe:
    • "I'm playing the long game. I'm not only trying to get him to the park, I want him to feel loved the entire way to the park." (23:39)
  • Dr. Becky echoes:
    • "I want my kid to feel loved on the way to the park...that's really profound." (24:52)
• Long-Term Impact:
  • Joe relays advice from a friend:
    • "[We] made the things that were important when the stakes were low, so when the stakes were high, they understood that everything mattered." (26:08)

7. Emotional Contagion and Parental Self-Regulation

(Timestamp: 29:06–34:54)

• Parental Embarrassment & Guilt:
  • Joe: "My son bit someone, and I was embarrassed...all of what happened was with him and dealing with how he was feeling. But I was like, why am I feeling this way?" (29:06)
• Modeling Regulation:
  • Dr. Becky:
    • "We have biting moments, too—not literally, but verbally. Overwhelmed with a feeling, without a skill to manage it, it comes out." (32:09)
  • Joe: "Having a child, it’s just like a mirror...I want him to understand how he’s loved and cared for while (we’re) also trying to figure out our own things internally." (32:48)
• Power of Vulnerability in Community:
  • Joe: "Sometimes I share too much, but fathers are really responsive in our group chat. It affirmed me, made me feel seen and encouraged in what I was doing." (33:34)

8. The Importance of Village and Belonging

(Timestamp: 35:41–36:22)

• The Village Principle:
  • Joe: "It takes a village—it’s an actual African proverb...He’ll never have to see himself as isolated. He’ll see my dad interacted with other men, was proud of his friendships, was really open." (35:41)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We can’t change the hard. We can change the alone.” (Dr. Becky, 07:20)
• "55% of men between 25 and 45 don't have one person they feel close to." (Joe, 06:45)
• "I’m playing the long game. I’m here for him to feel loved the entire way to the park." (Joe, 23:39)
• “Loved doesn't mean giving in. It means I see you and we can stay connected. You still have a parent and a leader and a coach in your hard moments.” (Dr. Becky, 25:12)
• "My dad was really isolated...I saw that in the patterns he reacted to." (Joe, 14:27)
• "Sometimes I share too much, but I think that's my characteristic. But fathers are really responsive in our group chat." (Joe, 33:34)
• "It takes a village...it's centuries of understanding that it takes more than just you and your partner." (Joe, 35:41)
• "You're the right parent for your kid. You're the best version of yourself today and you're going to be better tomorrow." (Joe, 39:46)
• “I don't just want to get my kid to the park. I want my kid to feel loved the whole way to the park.” (Dr. Becky highlighting Joe, 41:01)

Rapid Fire: Joe’s Reflections on Fatherhood

(Timestamp: 36:22–40:44)

• Dad Stereotype to Retire: "That dads are stupid. That dads don’t know anything. Let's retire that." (36:34)
• Recent Proud Moment: "It was our seven year anniversary. We had a babysitter. We spent time together, my wife and I...a proud moment." (36:53)
• What’s Harder to Say, ‘I Love You’ or ‘I’m Sorry’?: "'I'm sorry' is more vulnerable. I had to unlearn that you can be wrong and be open about those things." (37:26)
• Advice for New Dads: "Be patient with yourself. It's your first time and their first time as well. Patience. You'll figure it out." (39:35)
• Hope for His Son’s Memory: "My dad had so many people around him that loved and supported him, and I want the same." (40:26)

Final Reflections: Dr. Becky’s Takeaway

(Timestamp: 41:01–41:48)

• Dr. Becky is struck by Joe’s "long game" mindset: "I don't just want to get my kid to the park. I want my kid to feel loved the whole way to the park." She’ll carry this with her in her own parenting moments.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:01] – Joe introduces the origins of Brooklyn Stroll Club
• [06:45] – Discussion of social isolation among fathers
• [07:20] – “We can’t change the hard. We can change the alone.”
• [11:04] – What becoming a dad felt like for Joe
• [12:01] – Parenting as re-raising yourself
• [17:06] – Handling toddler tantrums with connection and boundaries
• [23:39] – “Playing the long game” in parenting philosophy
• [24:46] – Defining ‘love’ in challenging parenting moments
• [32:09] – Adult parallels to childhood biting
• [35:41] – The enduring relevance of “it takes a village”
• [36:34] – Rapid fire questions and answers

Tone & Language

The episode is candid, supportive, and deeply empathetic. Both speakers use personal anecdotes, offer actionable guidance, and balance vulnerability with practical wisdom. The style is accessible and positive, inviting listeners to reflect on their own journeys as parents—moms and dads alike—while emphasizing the transformative power of community and emotional openness.

This summary provides a comprehensive guide to the themes, advice, and memorable moments in this episode, ideal for any parent or caregiver seeking inspiration or reassurance on the journey of raising—and being raised by—our children.