Good Inside with Dr. Becky — Episode Summary

Episode Title: When Your Kid Says “I’m Boredddd!”
Host: Dr. Becky Kennedy
Guest: Lizzie Asa, expert on independent play and boredom
Release Date: January 13, 2026
Duration: ~38 minutes (excluding ads, intro, outro)

Episode Overview

This episode of Good Inside with Dr. Becky reframes how parents should respond when their kids say, “I’m bored!” Rather than viewing boredom as a parental failing or a problem to solve, Dr. Becky and her guest, independent play expert Lizzie Asa, explore why boredom is a positive sign, how it fosters independence, creativity, and resilience, and what practical strategies parents can use to create an environment that supports healthy independent play. The episode is full of relatable anecdotes, “aha” moments, and actionable, guilt-busting advice for every stage of childhood.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

The Modern Parenting Dilemma: Why Kids Seem More Bored Now

• Kids today experience more boredom despite abundant activities and stimulation
  • “Their lives are actually so much more stimulating... so the situation that leads them to feel bored is just so much more common because there's so much stuff, so much dopamine, so many activities all around them.”
    — Dr. Becky, [01:25]
• Boredom in children is not a sign of parenting failure
  • “Maybe you're doing something very right as a parent. Like, do I pat myself on the back a little?”
    — Dr. Becky, [04:06]
• The Parenting Reflex: Seeing boredom as a ‘problem to solve’
  • Many parents feel triggered or guilty when a child complains of boredom, immediately assuming it's their duty to fix the situation or entertain.

Why Boredom is Good

• Boredom fosters independence, creativity, and relationship-building
  • “It's not just about independent play. It's about relationship, understanding who your kid is, what lights them up, what are they grappling with.” — Lizzie Asa, [02:39]
• Leaning into boredom, not fighting it
  • “When we reserve that space for boredom, and we as the adult feel anchored and okay with boredom, it lets our kids feel safe in boredom.” — Lizzie Asa, [02:56]
• Boredom signals that parents are providing healthy downtime
  • “To me, it means okay...you reserved the time [for unstructured play and rest].” — Lizzie Asa, [04:28]

The Shift: From Entertainer to Facilitator

• Parents don’t need to fill every moment or be the source of entertainment
  • “Our parents didn't see it as their job to entertain us. Like they were interested in us. But it wasn't all encompassing to them.” — Lizzie Asa, [06:28]
• Providing structure, not solutions
  • Set up “play pockets”: spaces and materials for kids to use independently, rather than constantly creating structured activities.
    “I have set up what I like to call play pockets. I know that they have. There are toys and materials. There are spaces for them to read and be comfortable.” — Lizzie Asa, [08:09]
• The distinction between providing opportunities and delivering fun:
  • “When I say, are there things for them to do? I do not mean a craft or a project or a new toy that I am now going to sit with you and do...I mean actually the opposite of that.” — Lizzie Asa, [09:26]

Play, Boredom, and Life Skills

• Independent play fosters problem-solving, autonomy, and resilience
  • “When you support your child in play...you're gonna learn so much about, like, who is my child, what's interesting to them, what are they grappling with?” — Lizzie Asa, [12:01]
• Link to adulthood and life skills
  • “That kind of resilience is really built on the living room floor at 4.” — Lizzie Asa, [13:06]
  • “I think about, are kids always forgetting the water bottle. And these patterns...The difference between every day, here's your water bottle...versus: hey, you keep forgetting your water bottle. I wonder what you would need on the wall...to remember.” — Dr. Becky, [24:54]

Concrete Strategies for Parents

• Shift the response to boredom
  • Move from, “Here’s a list of things to do,” to “I notice you’re bored. That’s hard sometimes. Do you remember what you did last time?”
    “I really like to think of, you know, I'm bored, I don't know what to do more as a bid for connection and less as, give me something to do.” — Lizzie Asa, [20:48]
• Scaffolding without taking over:
  • Instead of fixing, provide light guidance, encourage reflection, or simply empathize.
    “I always say it’s helpful to lead kids a little bit to the well, but let them have this aha moment because they feel so proud.” — Dr. Becky, [17:35]
• Set up the environment to remove barriers, not to entertain
  • “I am gonna see it as my job to remove the barrier to them getting started.” — Lizzie Asa, [27:27]
• Address pushback with conviction (and expect it!)
  • “Your kid won't come home and say, this is such a better afternoon than the iPad. Thank you for that setup. I love this invitation to play. They will not.” — Dr. Becky, [29:32]
  • “Any change is hard. The thing that we don't focus on enough, I think, is we need to have conviction. Not that it's gonna be easy. We have to have conviction in a shift in family rhythms that we think is long term gonna be better for everyone before we do it.” — Dr. Becky, [32:35]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Notable Quotes with Time Stamps

• “Boredom is safe and a good thing.” — Lizzie Asa, [35:32]
• “Boredom is a place where my kids can really have time and space to understand who they are and feel comfortable being with themselves.” — Lizzie Asa, [35:58]
• “It [independent play] looks different for all kids, and so many things count that you might not think do.” — Lizzie Asa, [36:15]
• “It's not our job to create the magic of play. That belongs to them.” — Lizzie Asa, [26:52]
• “We almost outsource our kids’ creative abilities to being our responsibility. Cause, okay, I guess I'll…I have to give them this activity or I need to come up with the idea—constantly on a treadmill.” — Co-host, [05:48]
• “I want parents to give kids back that childhood, give them back that time.” — Lizzie Asa, [07:05]

Rapid-Fire Round Highlights

• One thing NOT to say to a bored child: "Listing off a bunch of activities." — Lizzie Asa, [36:34]
• One thing TO say: “It's hard when you're not sure what to do.” — Lizzie Asa, [36:26]
• Self-reflection: “I talk a lot about other people carving out times for boredom for their kids. And as a grown up, I need to practice what I preach.” — Lizzie Asa, [35:39]

Age-Specific Guidance & Scenarios

• Toddlers/Young Kids:
  Practice standing back as they play—let the Magna Tiles tower fall, empathize with disappointment, use “wondering” statements (“I wonder why it fell?”) rather than instructing. [16:01–17:01]
• Elementary Age:
  Instead of giving solutions or lists of activities, remind them of past successful play or projects. Guide them to recognize their boredom as an opportunity, not a failure. [19:48–21:00]
• Older Kids & Shifting Family Habits:
  Be upfront about making changes. Remove barriers to independent play (like making materials accessible), but expect resistance and stay the course with empathy and conviction. [27:27–31:17]

Three Big Takeaways ([36:51–38:07])

1. Our response to our child’s boredom matters most.
   Change starts with how we tolerate our kids’ discomfort.
2. Boredom isn't a sign you’re failing as a parent—it's a sign you’re protecting time for your child’s creativity and self-discovery.
3. Play is essential for long-term life skills.
   It’s how kids learn initiative, resilience, decision-making, and problem-solving, skills that will help them as adults.

Useful Segment Timestamps

• [01:06] — Why kids complain of boredom (and why it's OK)
• [02:29] — Lizzie Asa on reframing boredom for kids and parents
• [04:28] — Scheduling (and defending) downtime for boredom and play
• [09:26] — Facilitating play vs. playing the entertainer
• [12:01] — The link between independent play and life skills
• [19:29] — Two parental paths: Fixing vs. scaffolding
• [24:54] — Water bottle example: The line between reminding and ownership
• [27:27] — How to shift habits and manage resistance
• [29:32] — Conviction, pushback, and normalizing difficult transitions
• [35:27] — Rapid-fire myth-busting and mantras
• [36:51] — Dr. Becky’s recap & actionable takeaways

Tone & Final Thoughts

In true Dr. Becky fashion, the conversation is understanding, non-judgmental, and deeply practical. The tone is warm, empowering, and gently challenging, offering permission to parents to do less and to trust more in their children’s resilience and capability, even when (especially when!) they are “bored.”

Memorable Closing Thought
“Even as we struggle on the outside, we remain good inside.” — Dr. Becky, [38:13]

This episode is a must-listen for any parent who’s ever felt guilty, annoyed, or confused about what to do with their child’s boredom—and anyone seeking permission to step off the parent-as-entertainer treadmill.