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Good Life Project
It’s Never Too Late to Let the Real You Shine. A Love Story. | Sherri Dindal
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- [00:01]
Jonathan Fields
So what happens when a former investigator who spent 26 years keeping her true self hidden suddenly decides at age 50 to just let it all out on social media? Well, when Sherry Dindall did exactly that, something remarkable and completely unexpected happened. Nearly 6 million people showed up to watch, to laugh, to cry, and heal alongside her. These weren't just casual followers. There were people, especially Gen X women, who saw themselves in her story as of breaking free from decades of playing small and carrying trauma and silence, of trying to fit into everyone else's boxes. And they watched in real time as she transformed from someone who thought joy and authenticity were for other people into a force of nature helping others reclaim their right to take up space. I discovered Sheri in my own feed and Instagram one day and absolutely fell in love with how she shows up, how she tells stories, how just incredibly relatable and real she is. Sheri is known to her 5.7 million followers as the Real Slim Sherry. She's a storyteller, comedian, entrepreneur, and the founder of natural skincare brand Wholesome hippie. And after 26 years an investigator, she just completely reinvented herself, becoming this powerful voice for Gen X and a champion for authentic self expression, especially for women who feel invisible or constrained by society's expectations. And along the way, she reclaimed parts of herself that had been dormant for decades. And what makes this conversation so compelling also is how Sherry reveals the hidden gifts that often come wrapped in our greatest challenges. She shares how surviving trauma and learning to unbecome everything she was conditioned to be led her to discover a profound sense of freedom and joy. And her story really shows us that our most meaningful transformations can happen at any time, at any age. That it's never too late to become who we truly are and to share that person with the world. So excited to share this conversation with you. I Jonathan Fields and this is Good Life Project. Hi, this is Penn and Kim Holderness.
- [02:05]
Sherry Dindall
From the Laugh Lines podcast. If you're like me, buying anything turns into a nightmare research spiral. But listen, if you're trying to upgrade your phone, I'm about to save you from yourself. Because right now you can get the new iPhone 16e with Apple Intelligence when you switch at your nearest Boost mobile store.
- [02:23]
Jonathan Fields
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- [02:36]
Sherry Dindall
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- [02:45]
Jonathan Fields
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. Good Life Project is sponsored by gab. So here is a startling reality about our kids and screens. Teens now average nine hours a day on screens outside of school. That's essentially a full time job of scrolling and the impact is real. The US Surgeon General warns that kids spending more than three hours a day online are twice as likely to experience depression and anxiety, and this hits close to home. Our executive producer Lindsey was just telling me about trying to balance summer plans with her young kids and she wants to stay connected and know where they are, but without opening the door to endless apps. She got her 9 year old the GAB watch 3E and it's exactly what they needed. Gab has created this brilliant approach called Tech in Steps for Phones and Watches that grow with your child, offering just the right features at the right time. It's thoughtful, intentional technology that keeps kids connected while protecting their mental health. With back to school season just around the corner, now is the perfect time to help your kids focus on learning with a kid safe phone ready to make a change? Visit gab.com goodlife and use the code goodlife for a special offer that's G A B B.com goodlife or click the link in the show notes. Just really excited to dive into conversation with you. I'm somebody who's been following along, laughing along, enjoying poignant moments and insights. Fellow Gen X are here. All right, as we have this conversation. You're a storyteller, comedian, founder of natural skincare brand, Wholesome hippie, a voice of Gen X creator. We'll talk about that because it's kind of an interesting thing to be named that something like closing on 6 million followers on different platforms Brains behind the Gen X Some of the Brains behind the Gen X Takeover Comedy Tour Champion of all things Gen X and midlife. It's almost like you're on top of the world and sharing your true self. But this wasn't your life always. This is a fairly recent moment in the history of your life. And I guess it was a couple of weeks ago. You shared a post where you were honored with an award that seemed to be really deeply meaningful to you. But in that post also you start to share the fact that life leading up to this, the first 50 plus years or so was profoundly different for you. So I want to take a step back in time and get a better understanding for, you know, what before times were like for you.
- [05:29]
Sherry Dindall
I think I had a pretty standard. Well, I can't say standard. I had a pretty, pretty common Gen X upbringing. I think I didn't realize that until I started creating content. I started really making content and talking about the past and the history, my history. And what came from that was this discovery of a collective of people that were like, hey, you're telling my story. That was, that was my story too. And I never realized it. You know, you got you. I think you kind of go through life, you know, having your own experiences and whether that would those be good, bad, you know. Yeah, I had children and got, have had, you know, been married and you know, you do all of what life tells you you're supposed to do. You go through whatever you go through and then, you know, you land in this place where you're like, okay, this is who I am. When I turned 50, I just peeling back all of who I thought I was. And in discovering this collective of people, I think I also discovered I wasn't alone. And I think I always thought my experience, my past was unique. You know, it was like, this is my story. And then you start discovering a bunch of people, millions of people actually, that are like, that was my story too. And so it was comforting in a way. It was somewhat healing. It helped me to progress in my healing from my, you know, just again, my past and finding this space where I felt at home. I felt a camaraderie, a similarity, if you will. And it's been wild because I had a traumatic childhood and left home when I was 16, had my first child at 17, started a career, ran that career for 26 years, ran hard. That was basically my entire identity for most of my life. Just being a mom and being an investigator and those were the only things I thought I was good at. But I always had this gnawing feeling that I was supposed to be doing something else. I had some greater purpose that I just couldn't put my finger on. I couldn't, I couldn't really get past all of the baggage that I was carrying, I guess. And know I finally quit my job. It'll be 10 years this year. I quit my job 10 years ago. I was burnt out, I was tired. I felt like I needed to be doing something different. And I didn't know what that different thing was going to be. I Had zero clue what I was going to do. And I quit my job, started a business and 10 years later, here I am. But three and a half years ago, I, even though I had quit my job and I'd started, I have a couple of businesses, actually started a couple of businesses, I still didn't feel like I was walking in my purpose. I didn't feel like I had really was. I just again knew that there was something greater that I felt called to. I just couldn't figure out what it was. And I. And the reason I couldn't really figure it out is because all of the baggage was in the way. And so I started sort of this process of not just healing, but sort of unbecoming all of the things that I believed I was supposed to be and that I believed that I was. And peeling back those layers and trying to rediscover the person that I always was. I just had become something I think other people had conditioned me to be. And so I talk a lot about that. I sort of started chipping away, not on purpose. When I first started making videos and content, I was just making them for me. I was, you know, they were therapeutic for me in a way to just start talking about these stories and memories that I had and trying to reconnect with a time when life did feel good. And I started chipping away a little at a time at some of those tougher, I guess, maybe even taboo topics or topics that people maybe suppressed and buried. And I know that I did. So, yeah, I started telling some of the. So what I consider to be just truths. You know, I think there's a lot of what you see online, you see a lot of people creating, you know, videos that are making, that'll make you laugh or they're doing dance trends or they're, you know, they're talking about this thing or that thing. And there's not a lot of real. And you have, I guess, the luxury when you create content to edit, right? Just like a movie that you make a movie, you can have the luxury of the edit and you get this well curated feed. Pictures are perfect or the video is well edited. And a lot of there's. You just wonder sometimes how much of that's real. I, when I started making content, I was just doing that. I was just being myself. I was just finally for once being like, this is me. And not the corporate version of me, not the version that everybody had raised me to be. I wanted to be raw and real and true to myself. And so that's what started to pour out of. Of me and through these videos, like I said, that were therapeutic for me in the beginning to just sort of really step into my authenticity and say, you know what? I'm tired of tempering myself and quieting myself or shrinking myself to make other people comfortable. And that's what I did. And what happened was millions of people apparently enjoyed that. And I'm not for everybody. You know, I get that. I get that. I'm not. I joke, I'm not everybody's cup of tea, but it's a good thing I drink coffee because I don't really care. And. And it feels good to just, you know, finally just honor myself and who I am. And in doing that, I think I honor a lot of other people, a lot of other people that wish they could have that kind of a voice or feel brave enough to speak their truth. And what's come of it is just this amazing ride of. Of nostalgia and truth and. And again, authenticity and this sense of freedom, really just enjoying the ride and be, you know, the freedom of being who I am and then also discovering friendships and again, this collective of people that are like, hey, you know, we were the generation that everybody. We were the forgotten. They call us the forgotten generation. Right?
- [11:15]
Jonathan Fields
Invisible generation.
- [11:16]
Sherry Dindall
Yeah, invisible generation. You know, forgotten. We get. We still get skipped. You know, there's still TV shows that. Or. Or news shows that'll put up the generations. You'll see Boomer than Millennial. They just skip right over us even now. And we're in our 50s, and the oldest Gen Xers are turning 60 this year, you know, which is crazy to think about, and so to think that all this time we've still. We're still being glossed over or forgotten. And I love being able to breathe life into our stories and to give. Not that we want attention, because Gen Xers are not one to want attention. Just to, I think to. To allow us. To have space, to allow us to feel like we can take. We're allowed to take up space. We were raised on, you know, tough love and were to be seen and not heard and brush it off, suck it up, rub some dirt on it. Like, we weren't, you know, we weren't allowed to complain or whine or. We often were, again, just kind of invisible. And we were taught to be that way. And I think we've gone through our lives, for the most part, living in that space and being okay with this is all the space that I'm allowed to take up. And we've accepted that and Now a lot of us are coming into this middle age of life. The ones that have survived that made it this far. I joke that our generation's the smallest because a lot of us didn't survive. And so the ones that are arriving at this point in life in their 50s and now turning 60 are like, you know what, I don't necessarily like that I have to live in this box that you've put me in. I want to take up more space and I hope that I give people the courage to do that.
- [12:42]
Jonathan Fields
I mean there's so much that I'd love to dive into there. And I'm nodding along also because for so many people our age this has been an experience. But it's also because part of the experience is that we don't talk about these things and we don't talk about them in a public way, in a public forum. It's because we were the latchkey kids. We were the kids who were, you know, like whatever the opposite of helicopter parenting is like, that's what we expect as kids. You know, it's like you get on your bike in the morning at some point you, you wander home, hopefully not too bruised and banged up. And it was really just the generation that was largely in the early days left alone. And then as you described as we sort of rose through life, became largely invisible as somebody. We both started a number of companies and nobody markets to Gen X. Nobody runs demographic groups or for Gen X. There are very few products and services that are really focused on that sort of 45 to 60 age group. It remains to this day largely invisible in the world of commerce and in service and in solution providing. And a big part of that experience when you're younger is the expectation that you're not really here to take up space. And I'm curious for you, like how did that actually show up on a day to day basis in your life?
- [14:01]
Sherry Dindall
Oh gosh, it showed up in I think almost every way. You know again going back to that idea of not just of being invisible but being taught to keep yourself like small and quiet. And you know, we again that that standard phrase, I thought it was just a phrase that I heard that we were to be children are to be seen and not heard. And then I'm discovering millions of people who, who follow me are like, you know, that is so commonly shows up in my comments of. Yeah, you know, I touch on a, a topic that, to what you said we don't talk about, we just, you know, we've gone through life, we've Sucked it up, we accepted it. That's what we were taught. And for me, it showed up in a lot of ways of just sort of masking. You know, I think that it taught me to mask, it taught me to stay quiet, to keep secrets, to not draw attention to myself. It definitely taught me to be apathetic. And I think apathy is sort of our hallmark of our generation, you know, taught me to be apathetic, it taught me to be sarcastic. And a lot of those, what I've come to realize later in life is that those were, those were survival techniques, those were ways that helped me get through life and face you know, all the, not just challenges in life, but the ugliness of the world. You know, it helps your invisibility cloak to be even stronger, I guess. You know, I think about how we as kids and then, you know, the way a lot of us were raised and the messaging that we heard from not just our parents, but from society in general. You know, it wasn't just the people that were directly influencing our lives, but it was even that, just the general population. It's religion, it's your teachers, it's other role models in your life that have in ways passed on conditioning that as I talk about wires you a certain way. And it wired me that way and it showed up in my life every single day. And it's still, I'm still unpacking a lot of that. I'm still having to peel back layer by layer, trying to get to the root of who maybe I really am. I never really knew that version of myself because it became buried under all that conditioning. And again, that hardwiring, it's almost like going in and ripping out those wires and allowing myself to believe that I deserve to feel happiness and joy and peace and I deserve to feel a sense of freedom that I'm no longer bound by those that set of rules that were given to me and that were given to a lot of us. I mean, I think about that for the time most of us came up with boomer parents, some had silent generational parents. But a lot of us thinking about latchkey kids and when a lot of moms were going to work, you had dual, dual income households that were really starting to evolve in the late 70s, early 80s. A lot of kids spent time with their silent gen grandparents. And so you had that conditioning and sort of a little bit of an even tougher love, if you will, in some ways, which is a lot of why the boomers are the way they are. But they, you know, A lot of that was handed down from generation to generation. And, and the way that it shows up, I think for a lot of us, if we're truthful with ourselves, which I've had to really come into being not just telling truth, but being truthful with myself, is that that still shows up today in a lot of ways. You know, it still makes us question ourselves. We might, it might make us hesitate more. It, it might make us again. That masking that I think a lot of us, especially Gen Xers are so good at is, you know, putting on that tough face or that mask so that we show up the way we think other people expect us to or what makes other people comfortable. That was very much a taught. What would be the word. Sorry. Words are hard because I'm 52. It was sort of a taught behavior or trait, if you will. And so it's know, it's learn, it's, it's. I hope to share with people that you, that's, that's not your destiny. You don't have to carry that around. That foundation that was built for you, you can tear it down and start with a new foundation that you're never too old, you're never too far, far gone, if you will. It's never too late to sort of reinvent yourself. And that's what's happened for me. It's just. And I never, never planned it that way. I didn't expect to be here where I am going from a person who was an investigator most pretty much my entire adult life and towed a very hard line working closely with law enforcement and just this. I was married to a cop and we both just pretty rigid people. You could be very rigid and you show up, you know, sort of in a. More can be a little bit more aggressive and assertive when you need to be, but also only when, only when you need to be. And I think coming up in that world made me even more. I was well conditioned for it, but I even conditioned myself even more to conform and show up in the world in a very particular way. And that just gets. Eventually you get tired of that, that that mask or that armor you wear gets heavy. As I moved into my 50s, I just was like, I don't, I don't want to carry this around anymore. I'm tired. It was, you know, it just was weighing me down and I wanted more. And I try to share that with others and in hopes that they'll find that discovery.
- [19:13]
Jonathan Fields
And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors, Good Life Project is sponsored by Airbnb. So a little while ago, my wife Stephanie and an old friend stayed at this fantastic Airbnb in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and it was tucked just off the main square, offering a retreat while really still being close to everything. They walked into a spotless home with beautiful decor, and Stephanie couldn't stop raving about how comfy the beds were and how how great the host was at creating such a warm environment. And one of the highlights, a rooftop terrace with sweeping views of the city. Perfect for unwinding. And the off street parking made getting in and out a breeze without any parking stress. And it got me thinking about how our own homes really hold similar potential. While we're out exploring the world, our space could become someone else's perfect temporary home. It's such a natural way to earn extra cash when you're already planning to be away, whether for a weekend or a longer adventure. Or your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much@airbnb.com host good life project is sponsored by Buffy so you know that feeling when you discover something that just feels so good you want to tell everyone about it? That's how I feel about Buffy bedding. So when I first put their sheets on the bed, I actually called my wife over. I was like, you have to feel this. They're that impressive picture. Just incredibly soft, luxurious bedding. And then imagine it's actually keeping you cool while you sleep. So as somebody who tends to overheat easily when I sleep, Buffy's eucalyptus fabric has just been this revelation. It naturally draws heat away from your body, helping maintain the perfect sleep temperature all night long. And the sheets are microscopically crafted for incredible smoothness and they're completely chemical free and gentle on your skin. Get 20% off your first Buffy order using the code GoodLife at Buffy code that's 20% off when you use the code GoodLife at Buffy Co Buffy Code Good Life Good Life Project is sponsored by Shipstation. So you know that moment when you're waiting for a package and you get those clear, thoughtful updates about where it is and when it'll arrive. That's the kind of shipping experience that turns someone from a one time buyer into a loyal fan. We're crafting some pretty cool new physical offerings here at Goodlight Project and Shipstation. It stands out for creating that seamless, trust building shipping experience that we want our community to have. So picture having every order from all your selling channels flowing into one clean dashboard with automation that cuts out manual tasks and mistakes. Plus they Offer amazing shipping discounts. Up to 88% off carriers like UPS, DHL Express and USPS, and up to 90% off FedEx rates. When shoppers choose to buy your products, turn them into loyal customers with cheaper, faster and better shipping. You go to shipstation.com and use the code Good Life to sign up for your free trial. There's no credit card or contact required and you can cancel anytime. That's shipstation.com goodlife or just click the link in the show notes and use that code Good Life for you. Is this a gradual evolution? Was this a slow build towards a moment or happening? An incident that just shook you and said, I can't live as this person anymore. This is not me. There's a part of me, or maybe parts of me that I know are in there, in my private time, in my own mind, or maybe with my closest friends. I get to share that part of me, but I'm not actually living as that person. I'm not showing up as that person. And that's a heaviness that so many people carry. Whether you're Gen X or not, that's a heaviness that I think especially deeper we get into life and we feel the responsibilities of life or maybe being a parent, you know, we kind of bury a lot of our identity in the name of toeing the line of being, quote, a responsible adult and fitting into, like, whatever communities we're around. And like you described the heaviness of that, it just builds and builds and builds. So I'm wondering, in your experience, was there a moment that just woke you up and said, no more, or was it kind of like a gradual unfolding?
- [23:20]
Sherry Dindall
It's actually a little bit of both. For me. It was always sort of this. There's always sort of been this something, but I never could figure it out. It was almost like there was this doorway that was locked. I knew it was there, but I couldn't figure out how to find the key or how to open the door. So there's always sort of this longing for something on the other side, but I couldn't find my way. And then there was this moment in time, and that was 2021 for me. I got sick with COVID I was pretty sick. I came out on the other side of that thinking that, yeah, I just was looking at the world through a different lens. You know, I. At that time, everybody was feeling the weight of the world, you know, this pandemic and people were dying and families were being torn apart where they were losing, you know, Multiple people and their families to this pandemic. And. And I just came out on the other side that. Being very grateful that I had made it onto the other side, that I was here. And it was sort of a second chance for me. It kind of felt like a second chance, but it wasn't like my first second chance. You know, I had had a moment in time in my 30s, early 30s, where I had a horrific car accident. I was run under a semi, and I walked away from that unscathed. Car was totaled. You'd have thought whoever was in that accident died. And I somehow walked away from that with a cut on my knuckle. I should have. And I was too, I think, too young to appreciate that moment. I knew I was lucky, but I. I didn't really stop and appreciate all that had been given to me, that I had had the second chance. And so I just sort of got back, I called somebody at work. I was in a company car. Come get me off this freeway, got into another car, and went right back to life. I didn't pause to really appreciate that second chance, you know, it didn't. It could have been a moment. I don't regret it. But I look back and go, man, if I had just figured it out in that moment, I could have got back another 18 years of my life, you know, that I wouldn't have wasted in that place, that I didn't have happiness and joy and the freedom that I have now. And so when it happened again and I felt like I'd had a second chance in 2021, I didn't want to waste it. And I started doing the really deep work, the hard work that I had always wanted to do. I just didn't know how to do it. I couldn't figure out how to get past certain things. And so I. I started really doing that deep, meaningful work, if you will, and let. And just realizing the things that were holding me back was what I was holding on to, you know, that I couldn't find a way. Yeah, well, you know, just the trauma that I had gone through and things that were still haunting me as an adult, you know, that I just. That had somehow kept showing up in my life, you know, these flashbacks and things that I think, if I'm honest with myself, I couldn't let go of, because in some way, they were the only connection I had to the person who I was. Right. Like, this person that I lost through all of that. And so it was learning to let those go. It was learning to that. Learning to let Go. Learning to forgive, understanding and teaching myself that forgiveness is not a weakness. It's a gift you give yourself. It frees you. And it was coming to terms with those types of things and understanding that in the letting go process, I could start to find pieces of myself that I actually wanted to reconnect with. And that journey of healing. I used to think that healing was something you just did, and then you were done. It's not. There's no finish line. It's not something that you just are. You. You're done with one day, and then life is just great. No, it's. It's more linear than that. It's. It goes on forever. It's a process that you do day in and day out. And the healing itself gets easier, but you are always sort of in this process of evolution and rediscovery and learning about yourself. And it's the willingness to connect with that. It's the willingness to say, this is who I am. And these things happen to me, but they don't define me anymore, you know, and letting go of that. And I think a lot of people really struggle to get to that point of where they're okay with just letting go and forgiving and finding a place where they can be at peace. And that's what I had longed for my whole life, was just a sense of peace. And I finally have found that. And it. Like I said, it's still a process. I've. I've come to terms with the idea that I'll always be in that. Some phase of that, but that it gets easier with time and letting go, being willing to let go of those. That armor that had been sort of woven into me through the conditioning and the trauma and all the beliefs, you know, the belief system that, you know, if you think about it, and a lot of people don't, the belief system that most of us carry was given to us. It's molded through your experiences and things that you do in life. But your early belief system is sort of given to you by someone else through the lessons they teach you and the expectations. And so it was like coming to terms with the idea that I could still take parts of that belief system, that some of those things still are true to me. But I was allowed to start writing my own. I was allowed to start rewriting my own story and my own belief system in doing that. It's been amazing to come, you know, come out of that and go, oh, this is. This is what happiness feels like. This is what peace can feel like. And again, I hope for me, in the stories that I share and some of the things I talk about is that I don't only affect my generation. I do talk a lot about my generation, but that I maybe will touch or reach or even older people sooner for the young people that they get there. I wish I could have done it in when I was 32, when that accident happened. Like if I had 18 years, or actually at this point, it's 20 years ago. If I had that 20 years, like what, maybe where, where would I be now if I had already had discovered peace and happiness and what joy felt like? Because I used to believe that happiness was for other people, you know, and that joy was just like a joke, like it wasn't real, you know, I didn't believe that it was something that existed. But it does. And you can find it. It's just often buried, like I said, underneath all this other stuff, you know, the baggage that we carry around that eventually gets very heavy.
- [29:26]
Jonathan Fields
You use the word forgiveness, which is, I think it's an interesting word because a lot of times when we hear that word, what we're thinking about is, well, who am I forgiving? It's another person, somebody who's done me wrong in my past. That may be a part of your story, right. But so often, like the forgiveness that actually really unlocks so much of what we yearn to experience and feel is self forgiveness. It's the parts of us that we feel have done other people harm or done ourselves harm that we can't understand often. And we just hold onto this blame and shame, and it's not directed at someone else. It's literally directed to a part of us that we've kept down inside. And we're just. We were carrying that heaviness. So the forgiveness, I think a lot of times when people hear that word, it's like, well, who am I forgiving? Who's the person out there? But so often it's a part of us that actually gives us the greatest relief. And also, in my experience, is often the hardest one to forgive.
- [30:25]
Sherry Dindall
I would agree with that because guilt and shame are two really big ones. And they're more internal. They're emotions that you feel for yourself. Right. And so carrying around shame and guilt, I recently learned that shame is. Is one of the strongest, if not the strongest emotion to overcome. And it encapsulates many other emotions that feed into shame. And so learning to shed that or learning to forgive yourself. For me, the shame and the guilt that I carried around wasn't something that I did. But I still felt some form of guilt and shame around that, as if I somehow had played a part or it was somehow my fault. And I know now is one of the biggest things holding me back in my healing journey. I had thought, you know, back in my 40s, early 40s, I called myself healing. You know, I was working on myself. But I realized that I, I hadn't, I wasn't, I had no idea what I was doing and, and wasn't being really honest with myself about what I needed to work on and what was really getting in the way of me finding joy and freedom or this feeling. Because freedom means a lot of different things for people, right? Like, freedom can mean what you feel is a sense of free. Like we live in the United States and there's that sense of freedom, but then there's also this sense of freedom of just being able to do what you want whenever you want, or the freedom of being who you are and showing up for yourself first. And this is especially true for moms. We tend to not show up for ourselves. We show up for our families and our children often first. We will sacrifice ourselves. It's like the biggest sacrifice that moms make is for their kids, right? And so there's all these things that you can call freedom. But for me, freedom was just that. It was this ability to step into a place of peace and free from all the things that sort of. I held for so long that, that just continued to pull me back into a past place that I didn't want to be. And I couldn't control that. And so that for me was freedom was like, oh, I can, I'm free of that. It has a place now. I, I have the power to control it. It doesn't control me any longer. That guilt and shame that you're talking about are two really large, big emotions that are hard to overcome, actually, and they are rooted in forgiveness.
- [32:41]
Jonathan Fields
And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.
- [32:47]
Sherry Dindall
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Jonathan Fields
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- [33:24]
Sherry Dindall
The Boost Mobile Network, together with their roaming partners, cover 99% of the US population. 5G speeds not available in all areas.
- [33:32]
Jonathan Fields
Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store. Find us online@boost mobile.com Customers who cancel.
- [33:37]
Sherry Dindall
Within 30 days of activation will have Boost service fees refunded, activation fees if applicable, and phone payments will not be refunded. Listen up. You can get the new iPhone 16e with Apple Intelligence for just 49.99 when you switch to Boost mode. We pulled so many all nighters to give you this deal and hey, stop messing with a mic.
- [34:00]
Jonathan Fields
I'm just helping this catch people's attention. This is a great deal.
- [34:04]
Sherry Dindall
Exactly. So it doesn't need all that. Fine. Get the new iPhone 16e available at Apple Store locations and the Apple Store Online.
- [34:13]
Jonathan Fields
Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store for full offer details. Apple Intelligence requires iOS 18.1 or later. Restrictions apply. A Dog's Love Letter to His Squeaky Avocado Dearest Squeaky Avocado, my heart yearns to chew thee. Alas, I've devoured a small action figure and have taken ill, unable to partake in our jubilant squeakings. Worry not, as I am on the mend and Lemonade pet insurance covered 90% of the veterinarian's cost. I recommend all the cats and dogs of the land. Get a'@lemonade.com pet soon my tummy will be unburdened and we shall frolic once more. Yours, Jerry. When you make the decision, then in 2021 says, this has been a slow build. You have this. You get really ill with COVID and you recover and then you look around and realize so many others have experienced the same thing and are not here anymore or have long term struggles. This becomes a wake up call to you. This becomes the second big moment where you're like, okay, I'm still here and I can't do the next season of life the way that I've done what's come before. So you make an interesting decision. I'm sure there are a lot of other things that you started changing and thinking about and people you were talking to. But one of those decisions that you described is I'm going to start just filming video and putting them online. So you're, I guess, around 49 at that point.
- [35:39]
Sherry Dindall
I was actually 48.
- [35:40]
Jonathan Fields
Okay, you're well into life, people know you in a certain way, you've got a certain reputation among the community. And then you're like, I am going to start creating videos now. For anyone who's seen your videos we're having a grounded, calm conversation here. This is not the way that you show up in your videos online. You're funny, you're snarky, you're wise, you're throwing in tons of nostalgia points so that so many people can relate to so much of what you share when you decide. And it feels really apparent that this is not sort of like a made up character that you step into. This is just a part of you that was being tucked away until that moment. So when you decide, okay, I'm half a century into life almost and I can't keep doing it the way that I'm doing, I need to actually show up as myself and I'm going to start to just put up videos. Was this really just you? I just need to do this for myself and maybe five people will watch this. Or, or were you thinking to yourself, maybe I can show up and like inspire an entire community or what was going through your mind when you're like, I'm gonna start just creating videos that are very different than the way a lot of people probably know me and just put em up.
- [36:53]
Sherry Dindall
It actually didn't start that way. So I had, while I was healing from COVID you know, I hadn't been on TikTok before that. I've been on some social media for years, I use them for my business, but I hadn't been on TikTok. And I think like a lot of people my age were like, that's for teenagers and dance videos. My map got a couple of teenage young kids myself. So I knew was aware of it. I was like, yeah, I wasn't interested. But I found myself lying in bed for a month, you know, scrolling through that was what entertained me. And I remember thinking I could do this. Like, you know, not the dance part, but they were starting at that time people were starting to make content that wasn't just dance videos, you know. And so I was like, I think I could do this. And then originally I thought I would use it for my business. I was like, oh, I'm going to start making videos for my business. And it never turned into that. I, in trying to figure out how to use the platform and learning the technology, you know, the first few videos I made out, they were just funny. They were just funny videos. They had nothing to do with my generation. I did not set out thinking anybody would see them. I honestly had zero expectations. I was just trying to learn the technology. And then one day, I don't remember why I made it, but I made a video that was the sounds only Gen X hears. And it was just opening clips, like few seconds of opening sounds to songs that would resonate, like, would get you. They're like a dog whistle. As soon as you hear them, you know, you stop. And I made this video and it didn't do much at first because I was an investigator. My brain is wired to just go down the rabbit hole very, very easily. So I was down the rabbit hole trying to figure out how this stuff works, and somebody said, hey, if a video doesn't work the first time, just repost it. So I did and that. I went to bed and I woke up and the. That next day, all of a sudden I had 40,000 new followers off of that one video. I have no idea what's happening. I also fell into the trap early on, listening to people who are like, oh, you know, TikTok wants to put you in a niche. You know, if you try to make any videos or outside of that niche, then they are not going to perform well. So I was like, oh, oh, then I need to make another Gen X video because that video did really well. And so I started making videos about Gen X. I started just talking a little bit about, just early on, a little bit. Just funny stuff about our generation. And slowly that built into storytelling. I've always been a Chatty Cathy, I guess, and I love storytelling. I never really considered myself a storyteller, I don't think, but I could tell a good story. And. And so I started making Gen X, went right down into that niche and started making more videos for our generation. And that's really what started to take traction. So I thought, oh, that's true. You really just have to be in a niche and only do this one thing and those videos will do well. Well, what came from that was I got. I get bored very easily. I can't only talk about this one thing. I don't have enough to talk about because of the trauma that I've. I endured as, as a child. I don't have a lot of memories, you know, a lot of. That's really just not. It's just a blank. It's just blank. And it's more like a movie reel, you know, little clips of stuff. I early on had a really hard time connecting with a lot of Gen X content because I was like, I don't remember that much. But the lot of people would surprisingly, comments would unlock a memory where I was like, oh my gosh, I completely forgot about that, you know. And so it's been. That's where the therapeutic side of it came. I was like, this is very. This is good for me. It's helping me remember good things, right? I wasn't only holding on to the dark memories. And so it was good because it was helping me to reconnect with the good of my childhood. The stuff I really did love about growing up. In the time that we grew up, you know, I mean, we were feral, but we were free. It was a lot different world. And that's been one of the most joyful things for me is that being able to reconnect with the nostalgia and the memories and the good times, right? I got bored and I was like, I can't just talk about this one thing. And I'm not a believer in be. I don't like being told what to do. So that's just. I don't. Just don't. I don't like to be told what to do. And so I was like, you know what? Screw you. I'm not only going to do this one thing, I'm going to do what I want to do. And it felt genuine to make that content, but it also, some didn't feel as genuine as I wanted to be because I was like, I don't remember enough. And so I started talking about the one thing I could really talk about very authentically, which is aging. So I started talking, making videos about aging and midlife. And just. Why didn't anybody tell us that this is. What the hell happens to you when you get to be this age? And I, you know, I've always been funny and very sarcastic, but I never considered my. I never really considered myself to be that funny. But I mean, if I look back, I'm like, okay, I've always been kind of funny. You know, those videos didn't take off right away, but then eventually those really started to do well. Also. Also still connecting with the same audience, just through a different genre, really. You know, it's like, oh, we're all still at the same age. We're all going through it. We've all grown up the same way. And then menopause hit me, and so I started making videos about that. And those are hilarious because menopause is just ridiculous. And so you can make fun of that all day. And I just broke the rules of the algorithm, which was that you're only. A lot of people do. Only just do one kind of thing. And I do multiple things. Things. And through that, what came out of that was that I started making these Daily Dose videos because I was. Again, they were Therapeutic for me. They were funny, nostalgic, but then they were also somewhat healing. I was telling my own stories, but also the stories of others at the same time. And so what I recognized after a while of doing that, especially through the comments, was that there's this really brokenness to a lot of our generation. You know, a lot of them haven't found a way out. They can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. They still are very much living in a place where I lived for so long. And so I started making these Daily Dose videos. They're kind of a tough love, kick in the pants, you know, wake up type video. And they were really chipping away at some of the really tougher parts of life, you know, talking about the letting go and the finding peace and happiness and. And all of that. And so I ended up just being sort of this hodgepodge of content, you know, and it somehow worked. It somehow broke the rules. It somehow. Not just on one platform, it wasn't just TikTok. That's where I started. You know, I started putting content on Instagram and Facebook, and next thing you know, now I've got, like I said, Almost 6 million people, where I'm still struggled to believe that there's almost 6 million people that care about one thing that I have to say.
- [43:29]
Jonathan Fields
I wonder if part of that also, you said you broke the rules of the algorithm, right? Which, yes, you did, because everybody tells you, choose your niche, stay really just boom, boom, boom. And you hit a point where you're like, all right, I can't actually be me and do that thing, even though it seems like the algorithm is reminding me. But when you decide I just need to start talking about and sharing who I am and what I see and what I'm experiencing, you didn't just break the rules of the algorithm in no small way. You also broke the rules of culture, of society, about what a quote, woman of a certain age, the expectations about how that person would show up. And you're like, oh, hell no. Like, so it wasn't just the algorithm. It was bigger than that.
- [44:12]
Sherry Dindall
Yeah, you just reminded me. I mean, especially early on. So, I mean, I have blue hair. At one point, my hair was purple. I have tattoos. I'm 52. You know, I cuss like a sailor. Even though I'm being nice here on your podcast, I got a lot of hate early on, you know, and I still do occasionally. I've learned to ignore it. You cannot dwell in the comments. It'll tear you down. But I Used to see those comments and they would bother me and, and I started, I started at first they did bother me and almost for a while made me even reconsider what I was doing, like putting myself out there because people can be so mean or, you know, I come from a time where if you talk trash, you get punched in the mouth. And now everybody does it behind their keyboard, you know, so it's different. And so I was. I didn't know how to deal with that, you know, this, but these key keyboard warriors, if you will, the trolls. And so it almost discouraged me. And then there was a part of me that was like, no, that's not who I am. Like, that just was more fuel on my fire. And so I started doing these clapback videos and started sort of snapping back at people of like, what, you know, that their idea of ageism. I realized that in those moments that ageism was alive and well and how real it was and especially for women. And so I use that as content. That for me that was like, you are low hanging fruit. Like you are making this so easy for me. Like, I can use this all day to chew you up and spit you out. And I did that for a while and I don't do them as often anymore. I don't, because I a. I don't get in the comments that much for that kind of content. But I also recognize that I. The clapbacks, although people love them, my clapback videos always generally do very, very well. I realized that it wasn't really who I wanted to be. I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want to be. Here I am talking about living your. In your authenticity and being kind to yourself and finding peace and happiness and that this next, the next video, I'm handing somebody, you know, their entire dignity, you know, in one little video, 30 second clip. And I realized that it sort of was a little bit of a conflict for me. It made me come across in some ways almost as maybe being disingenuous, you know, that I was saying one thing and doing another. And so I'll still occasionally do it if it catch me on the right day, just rageful enough on the right day, I will still clap back. But I just, you know, I realized that that wasn't early on it served its purpose. And people still say, oh, I really miss your clapback videos. But some people thrive on that. Some people just thrive on the negativity. And I didn't want to be perceived as negative, negative. And those videos tend to be a little more in the negative space. And so I don't do them as often. But you're absolutely right that I did break all those rules, and not just what I say and how I say it, but just in how I show up in general. Right. The belief that, like, you know, they're like, okay, grandma with your blue hair, you're trying too hard. You know, those kind of comments, you know, and I'm like, I'm not trying any. This is just me. I'm not. I don't have to try. I'm married. I got kids. I'm not planning to have any more kids. I have my own business. There's nothing that I need. But they don't get that. And some people just. They're just in such a bad place in their own lives that they would like to drag other people down with them. And so I tend to. I, like I said, I just try to ignore those people now. But, yeah, they. They are out there and they come out in full force sometimes.
- [47:22]
Jonathan Fields
Yeah. And I mean, it's really when you. And again, as you were saying, like, women are judged very differently than men, you know, especially on social media, where somebody can hide behind a screen or when there isn't sort of like this direct thing. I mean, it's like. Yeah. I don't know if you read Miranda July's All Fours, which is this tremendous book, but if you look at the reviews on that book, it's a novel about a woman in her 40s who's really just completely rediscovering who she is and what she wants out of life and sexuality and relationships. And a lot of the reviews on that book are like five stars and one star.
- [47:53]
Sherry Dindall
What's it called?
- [47:54]
Jonathan Fields
Miranda July's book, All Fours.
- [47:56]
Sherry Dindall
All Fours.
- [47:57]
Jonathan Fields
It's so raw and visceral and powerful about, like, what happens when a woman basically says, okay, I need to actually do this part of my life in the way that makes sense for me. And I know. I've heard Miranda interviewed also, and she said she's taken a lot of heat. Some people absolutely love her and what she wrote and resonates so deeply in their. These All Fours group chats going on around the world. And then other people just fiercely reject the whole notion that a woman in the middle years of her life could talk about things like this, and she show up in a particular way and consider these ideas. And I see what you're doing as it's so compelling in one way, because you're basically saying, just deal with it. This is me.
- [48:43]
Sherry Dindall
Yeah, I tend to phrase it a little differently than that, but, yes, you're absolutely right in a kind way.
- [48:47]
Jonathan Fields
It's like you're not saying that overtly at all, but what you're saying is in the way that you show up, you're basically saying, okay, so I know who I am, and for decades of my life, I didn't show up as this person, at least in this way. And now I'm going to bring it all forward. And some of you may like that, some of you may love it, some of you may be inspired by it, some of you may hate it, some of you may be threatened by it or offended by it, but that's not going to stop me from showing up in this way because I know who I am and why I'm doing it, and it feels right to me. I mean, does that land? Because that's the way it feels when.
- [49:22]
Sherry Dindall
I'm nodding, because I'm like, that's. That's absolutely. You know, you captured that very well, because that's exactly where I'm at. And for me, it wasn't until I was close to 50 for me to finally step into that space. And it feels right. It does. It feels good. It feels good to say, you know what? You said it way nicer than I would, but screw you. This is who I am. And you don't have to like me, because I don't care if you do or you don't. You hit a point in life, especially women, I think finally hit a point in life where the. Especially the menopausal years for women where you just are like, I, yeah, this is who I am. Take me or leave me. But I don't want to be the version of me that you want. I don't want to be that person anymore. I live that way for so long. I refuse to dishonor myself any longer for other people. For me, that deep sense of freedom in finding that of like, you know what? I refuse to dishonor myself any longer. And if you don't like that, that's a you problem. It's not my problem. And it feels. You feel lighter. You feel good to know that I feel good to know that I show up every day as who? This person, who I am, the person I've always been, but tempered or hid or contorted for other people. That I get to show up as this person every day. And. And that there are people out there that do appreciate it. You know, there are people that look for that. They're looking for that little nugget of wisdom, something that breathes life into their day, something that helps them find courage, something that helps them to evolve, helps them to wake up. So many women, especially now that I'm on tour, so many women who come up to me and tell me that story of, like, you saved my life. You have breathed life into a part of me that I thought was dead. And that I don't take that for granted. It gives me purpose, you know, I told you in the beginning, I didn't know it was this, but I always felt some sense of purpose that I wasn't fulfilling, that there was something greater I was supposed to be doing. I didn't know it would be sharing, you know, sage wisdom. In my 50s, I had no idea it would be that. But it feels right, you know, And I don't know where it's going to take me, you know, I will continue, you know, And I received the award that I received. I couldn't believe that I deserved an award like that. Like, I really struggled. I was like. I was up for, like, three awards initially. One was for comedy, one was for motivational, inspirational, and the other was for the Cheer of the Year. And the first two felt okay. I was like, okay, comedy, sure, I can take that. Motivational, inspirational, I'll even give you that. But cheer of the year just really made me step back. I was like, I don't. I didn't feel worthy of that. I felt like there's so many people doing really, like, powerful, important things in the world that are deserving of something like that, you know, and when I won, I was in shock, naturally. But so many people that came, that either came through the comments or sent me messages that said, you absolutely deserved it. You've changed my life. You saved my life. They were near their end of their rope, you know, for. I don't know. A lot of people don't realize, but women in this age, suicide rates are the highest for women in their midlife, and especially late 40s, early 50s. And so for them to have someone that they can look to, you know, that either makes them laugh or makes them think or helps them in some way to find whatever it is that they seek, whether that be peace or happiness or whatever, I will continue to show up for those people as long as I can, because I know what that felt like. I lived that way for so long. To know that I'm helping even just one person, you know, is enough for me to keep doing it.
- [52:57]
Jonathan Fields
And also, you know, part of the way that you show up, there's this sense that, okay, so, you know, this is resonating. You know, you're building an audience in the community and you're getting to show up and share parts of yourself. But, like, a big piece of this also, at least from, like, from the outside looking in, is. It looks like you're genuinely having fun.
- [53:15]
Sherry Dindall
Oh, I do, I do.
- [53:17]
Jonathan Fields
And I think so many of us, we reach sort of like a certain point in life and we're like, oh, yeah, the fun days, the carefree days, the loose, the goofball days that left when I was 16 and I was just bouncing around with my friends. And this is not the season of life for that. And you're showing up and you're like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. This gets a seat at the table. And it looks like when you show up, it really looks like you're just having fun. And it's a reminder that says, oh, this can happen. This matters. You can show up this way. Some people may dismiss you, but a lot of other people actually won't. And a lot of other people will say, oh, like, I want some of that.
- [53:57]
Sherry Dindall
I hope that they do. I really. I mean, I am genuinely having fun. I look back at my early videos, where I was to where I have. Where I am now, and just seeing how I've. How that's evolved and how much fun I've allowed myself to. To have. And I think, touching on what you just said about, you know, we believe that that all goes away because that laughter and fun and carefree spirit is only for the young. We're kind of taught that. I mean, there's a video going around right now, for example, where they're, like, interviewing people on the street saying, what year do you have to be born to be considered old? You know, and it's these kids that are like, oh, you know, 2000. And I'm like, oh, 25 is old now. I had no idea. It's this idea of young, right? We're sold this bill of goods that, like, you have to do everything when you're, like, young. Because there's going to come a point when you're old that you're not gonna be able to do those things. And that's a bunch of trash. Like, that's not true. For me, the best of my life is just starting. I mean, yeah, I've got my kids. Those parts of my life will never be outdone. But I'm doing things in my 50s that I would have never done in my 20s. I would have never shown up the way that I do now in my 20s. And there's something to be said about, especially at this point in your life, of, like, showing up authentically and just really enjoying the ride. And that's one of my standard lines. I say it at a lot of the end of my videos, especially my daily dose ones of just enjoy the ride, you know, And I don't say it quite like that, but you just got to enjoy every moment of it. Life is so short, and we take for granted. Every day, every hour, every minute that goes by, we just take that for granted. And it is truly wasted on the young. And when you're young, you think you've got all this time ahead of you, you've got your whole life ahead of you. And those two second chance moments that I had taught me that I. Those could have been snuffed out like that, like that life could have been over. And all of those things I could have done, should have done, the regrets that maybe I would have had of the things that I didn't do, I don't want that for myself anymore. I just want to live and enjoy what life has to offer. And because you know what, it could be gone tomorrow. I don't want to be on my deathbed and look back and have regrets. And if I had continued to live the way that I had, I would have so many regrets. Just enjoy the ride. Whatever the ride is, you know, whatever it is, enjoy it. Do the things that scare you and do the things that make you come alive, and those are the things for me, there's so many things that held me back because I was scared. Now I'm like, whatever it is, what it is, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do the hard things. I'm gonna do those things that scare me because those are the things that, for me, they make me feel alive. And then the things that make you feel, you know, that make you come alive, what. Those are the things you're passionate about. Those are the things that, you know for. I tell with work, if you do a job that hit me you hate, that literally drains the life out of you. I used that was me get up every morning and literally cannot stand the idea of having to crawl out of bed and go to this place that feels like a prison, you should be doing something else. But find something that sets your soul on fire, that gives you life, that breathes life into your fire instead of snuffs your fire out, you know, and that do those things because life is short and you don't want to get to the end of your days, whether you die slowly or you die suddenly and look back and go, God, I wish I had done those things. That's where I was after my. My second second chance was like, man, that could have. It could have been gone. And I wasn't even 50 yet. And now I'm 50 and a 52. I started really making that content at 50, but 52, be 53 this year. And I'm doing things I never imagined I didn't have. Those were not in my cards. They were not on my being a content creator, going on tour, doing stand up comedy. None of that was on my bingo card. Okay? It wasn't on my bucket list. And here. Yet here I am in my 50s, suddenly doing all these things that I never would have done in my 20s or 30s. If you would have tried to convince me to get on a stage to do stand up in my 20s, 30s, 40s, I would have laughed and been like, there's no way. I would have never said yes. But I'm in my yes phase of life. I'm in the point in my life where it's like, say yes to everything that you possibly can. Because our days get shorter. Not just in the sense of they go by faster, but. But we just have less time on this earth. And so you just got to do everything that you want to do and can do while you can still do it.
- [58:23]
Jonathan Fields
I love that. Feels like a good place for us to come full circle, too. And so I always wrap these conversations with the same question. I kind of feel like you just answered it. But I'm still going to ask you. In this container of Good Life project, if I offer up the phrase to live a good life, what comes up.
- [58:38]
Sherry Dindall
To live a good life is not wishing that you or somebody else every time you wake up, you just wishing, not wishing that you were someone else. Live a life. The good life is living a life every day, just being who you are and not wishing you were someone else. And that's the good life for me. That's freedom for me is just being me. And yeah, I think that's. That sums it up for me just waking up every day not wishing that I was anybody but the person that I am. That's. That's a good life.
- [59:10]
Jonathan Fields
Thank you.
- [59:11]
Sherry Dindall
No, thank you.
- [59:13]
Jonathan Fields
Hey, before you leave, if you love this episode, safe bet you'll also love the conversation we had with Karen Waldron about rewriting the midlife narrative to one of joy, grace, and possibility, you can find a link to that episode in the show. Notes this episode of Good Life Project was produced by executive producers Lindsey Fox and me. Jonathan Fields editing, helped by Alejandro Ramirez and Troy Young. Christopher Carter crafted our theme music. And of course, if you haven't already done so, please go ahead and follow Good Life Project in your favorite listening app or on YouTube too. If you found this conversation interesting or valuable and inspiring, chances are you did because you're still listening here. Do me a personal favor, a seven second favor. Share it with just one person. I mean, if you want to share it with more, that's awesome too. But just one person even then, and invite them to talk with you about what you've both discovered. To reconnect and explore ideas that really matter. Because that's how we all come alive together. Until next time, I'm Jonathan Fields signing off for Good Life Project. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.
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Sherry Dindall
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Jonathan Fields
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Sherry Dindall
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Jonathan Fields
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Sherry Dindall
At this point she has walked the.
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Jonathan Fields
Entire terminal twice and has memorized every news headline on the airport tv.
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Sherry Dindall
All she really wants to do is take off. Good thing Rose has a library of free ebooks with Prime. Suddenly she's chasing bad guys, kissing hot vampires, solving murders. You know, living her best life. Free Ebooks Library it's on Prime.
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Jonathan Fields
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Sherry Dindall
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Jonathan Fields
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