In today's episode, I’m talking to Amber Trejo, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in complex trauma and attachment, about what might be under the perfectionism, shame, and self-loathing. Amber explains how complex trauma often forms when there was never a true baseline of safety growing up, how, while it can be painful to realize we might hurt our kids, the repair matters FAR more than perfection, and so much more.

Healing from complex trauma and things like perfectionism, shame, and self-loathing doesn’t start with “being better,” it starts with awareness, curiosity, and support. Whether that’s therapy, learning, or simply beginning to ask yourself gentler questions, please know you are not broken, and you are NOT alone!

In this episode, we cover:

Amber’s journey into understanding & working with complex trauma
What complex trauma (C-PTSD) is + how growing up without a baseline of safety impacts the nervous system
The key difference between PTSD and complex trauma
How emotional neglect often goes unrecognized, even in childhoods that felt “good”
Why shame is central to complex trauma + how it often shows up
How complex trauma affects relationships, conflict & nervous system capacity
Why repair matters more than perfection in parenting
How to support yourself + loved ones when navigating complex trauma

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Find the complete show notes here: https://terryndrieling.com/under-the-perfectionism

Connect with Amber:

Follow on Instagram @integrativetraumatherapist
Connect on Facebook
Follow on TikTok
Check out her website
Send her an email at ambie0406@gmail.com

Connect with Terryn:

Follow on Instagram @terryn.drieling
Check out my website
Send me an email at terryn@terryndrieling.com

Resources & Links:

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
Join The Draw
Schedule a free consult and see if 1:1 Good Movement Guidance is right for you
Check out my merch shop
Join the waitlist for the Good Movement Collective
Good Movement music by: Aaron Espe
Podcast produced by: Jill Carr Podcasting