GOOD OL’ GRATEFUL DEADCAST

American Beauty 50, Ep. 9: Attics Of My Life

Release Date: December 3, 2020

Episode Overview

This marathon episode of the Official Grateful Deadcast dives deep into “Attics of My Life,” the lush, sacred-seeming vocal showpiece from American Beauty. Alongside expert breakdowns of the song’s composition, lyrical meaning, and pivotal place in Dead lore, the episode spotlights the deep interconnection between the Dead and David Crosby’s masterwork If I Could Only Remember My Name. Featuring rare audio, vocal isolations, archival commentary (including by 2/3 of Crosby, Stills & Nash), this episode is an exploration of the song’s transcendence, spirituality, and the creative flowering around 1970’s Bay Area scene.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Mystique & Evolution of “Attics of My Life”

• Origins and Setting

  • Written by Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter at Mickey Hart’s Nevada ranch, with Bob Weir recalling Jerry “took me out behind the barn and played ‘Attics’ for me. I was awestruck.” (07:09)
  • Debuted live in May 1970, with early acoustic sets and a formative period of vocal workshopping. (08:53–10:08)

• Early Live and Studio Takes

  • Early performances were faster, with looser vocals. The band honed harmonies through relentless studio rehearsal before achieving the iconic album version. (10:08–12:03)
  • Isolated demos show the song’s power even in stark arrangements. (15:10–17:16)

• Insight on Harmonies

  • The Dead’s harmonies on “Attics” reach their zenith here, with careful three-part compositional arranging by Garcia, Weir, and Phil Lesh, double-tracked for fuller texture. (25:34–35:39)
  • “Some of the best harmony work they ever recorded,” says archival engineer Brian Kehew. (25:34–35:39)

2. Poetic and Spiritual Dimensions

• Hunter’s Lyricism Explained

  • Eric Davis analyzes Hunter’s glancing mysticism, describing the lyrics as exploring “a kind of mystical Christianity, but veers away… It never really lands exactly,” instead accessing inner, liminal spiritual states in non-traditional ways. (12:03–12:19)

• Hunter's Direct Response

  • When asked directly, Robert Hunter wrote: “If I could say it in prose, I wouldn’t need to write the song… it’s a song about the soul...‘you flew to me’ is an affirmation of the concept of grace. No, the song is not about being stoned.” (18:05)

• “Grace” and Psychedelic Spirituality

  • Davis expands: “Grace is unasked for and unearned…there’s something about grace that I think is particularly psychedelic...the psychedelic version of grace is synchronicity.” (18:43–22:04)

3. The Song’s Place in Dead History

• Performance Legacy

  • “Attics of My Life” briefly disappears after 1972, only to be revived for emotional, momentous performances: Hampton '89 (42:27–43:18) and the 2015 Fare Thee Well shows as the Dead’s last encore (“the most perfect ending to the Grateful Dead,” says Gary Lambert, 43:18).

• Lasting Impact

  • Commentators note how the song’s weight grew with age, becoming a meditative favorite for older Deadheads. (44:21–45:41)

4. Technical Breakdown: The Anatomy of Harmonic Magic

• Instrumental and Vocal Layers

  • Kehew details the unusual drum panning, tight bass and guitar interplay, the shimmering sound added by Jerry’s Leslie speaker, and the construction of three-part harmonies. (25:34–35:39)

• Comparison to Other Classics

  • The Dead’s vocal layering here is likened to Brian Wilson’s Smile era. “Those layered harmonies, to me, approach some of what Brian Wilson was accomplishing.” (36:56–36:58)

5. Parallel Highways: Dead & David Crosby’s “If I Could Only Remember My Name”

• Shared Musical Space

  • The episode explores how virtually the whole Dead (Garcia, Lesh, Kreutzmann, Hart) contributed to Crosby’s album, born in the same “musical delivery room” as American Beauty. (51:23–53:33)
  • Crosby, reeling from the loss of girlfriend Christine Hinton, describes the sessions as an act of mutual support and artistic escape: “Jerry came almost every night...it was an act of kindness, but also joy.” (51:35–53:18)

• Legendary Sessions & Outtakes

  • Endless studio tape rolled, capturing jams, outtakes, and impromptu magic—documented by engineer Stephen Barncard and known among tapers as the “PERRO tapes.” (76:34–78:33)
  • The sessions blurred musical boundaries, producing “magic”—“What you see is what you get… Jerry brought joy and serendipity...moments that—did I get it? It’s in record!” (72:13)

• Song Stories & Collaborations

  • Accounts of how tracks like “Cowboy Movie,” “What Are Their Names,” “Laughing,” and “Kids & Dogs” came about, reflecting on lessons in improvisation and camaraderie. (63:38–73:37)

• Crosby on Fitting in with the Dead

  • “I wanted to play in the Grateful Dead really badly. I tried several times and failed every time. You can't just step into that band…” (89:20)
  • Nash and Crosby reflect humbly on their own musical limitations and the Dead’s unique group improvisation style: “It’s like four streams of melody going at the same time. Nobody else does that.” (89:20–91:22)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On first hearing “Attics”:

  • Bob Weir: “I was awestruck. I didn’t know he had that kind of stuff in him...I was blown away.” (07:09–07:46)

• On what “you flew to me” means:

  • Robert Hunter (via email): “I guess the best I could say is that you flew to me is an affirmation of the concept of grace...No, the song is not about being stoned. It’s a song about the soul.” (18:05)

• On the Dead’s harmonies:

  • Brian Kehew: “Some of the best harmony work they ever recorded...Putting these parts together is very different than the basic skill of songwriting. Arranging harmonies...is not something you improvise and throw together so quickly...” (25:34–35:39)

• On experiencing “Attics” live & on record:

  • Gary Lambert: “It was an absolute revelation. I think it is the absolute high point of the Grateful Dead’s ensemble singing in the studio...Those layered harmonies, to me, approach some of what Brian Wilson was accomplishing on Smile.” (36:56–36:58)

• On the song aging with listeners:

  • David Lemieux: “Addicts of My Life...struck me as a deeper version, instrumentally, musically, and mostly lyrically of Brokedown Palace. It took me four or five years before I really got into it. And then...it really started speaking to me.” (40:20–42:27)

• On creative openness in the studio:

  • David Crosby: “Every time that he and I sat down with two guitars [Jerry Garcia], that’s what happened—completely experimental...completely going wherever the fuck it was gonna go and full of joy. That song [‘Kids & Dogs’] is a perfect example of me and Jerry.” (80:48–86:10)

• On Crosby’s attempts to join the Dead:

  • David Crosby: “I wanted to play in the Grateful Dead really badly. And I tried several times and I failed every time. Because you can’t just step into that band…” (89:20)

Important Timestamps

• 03:30: Jerry Garcia sings opening lines of “Attics of My Life” (Isolated track)
• 07:09: Bob Weir recalls Jerry playing “Attics” for him for the first time
• 12:03: Eric Davis on mystical themes and lyrical ambiguity
• 18:05: Robert Hunter’s email response about “Attics” and “grace”
• 25:34: Brian Kehew’s technical breakdown—constructing the song layer by layer
• 35:39: Three-part harmonies isolated and discussed
• 36:56: Gary Lambert on hearing the studio version for the first time
• 42:27: 1989, “Attics” returns to the live set (Hampton, VA performance)
• 43:18: Gary Lambert on “Attics” as Fare Thee Well encore (July 2015)
• 51:23: Discussion transitions to David Crosby’s “If I Could Only Remember My Name”
• 53:33: Crosby, coping with grief, finds solace in studio with the Dead
• 63:38: Graham Nash and Crosby discuss versions of “Cowboy Movie”
• 76:34: Garcia’s 1971 thoughts on playing pedal steel
• 80:48: Crosby on spontaneous jams with Garcia (e.g., “Kids & Dogs”)
• 89:20: Crosby on the impossible challenge of fitting in with the Dead’s musical flow

Final Reflections

Attics of My Life stands as a uniquely spiritual, hymn-like creation even within the Dead’s kaleidoscopic repertoire—its power drawn from both the fragile closeness of three voices, and Robert Hunter’s liminal, grace-haunted poetry. This episode not only breaks down how the song was constructed musically and emotionally, but further situates it within a moment of fertile cross-pollination—where the Dead, David Crosby, and their musical family spun grief, longing, and mystical optimism into beacons of lasting meaning.

For anyone who has aged with the Dead’s music, “Attics” is revealed in time as a rare, nourishing prayer—not just a period piece, but “essential part of the Dead canon.” And as the tapestry of American Beauty, If I Could Only Remember My Name, and their session-mates is unfurled, the episode testifies to a group spirit where community, loss, and creativity met—sometimes in “magic,” sometimes in the everyday exchange of a joint or a joyfully-strummed chord.

Listening to the isolated harmonies in this episode will truly deepen any fan’s connection to “Attics of My Life.”