Podcast
GR8 Relationships
Hosted by Hermann Eben with Paul Moore · EN
Pursuing Their BEST - Freedom in Relationships
20episodes
Episodes
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Freedom V Principle
1w ago00:30:02Tap to summarizeThe Freedom V is an excellent tool and principle because it helps you grasp the relationship between freedom and self-governance. The Freedom V graphic is largely self-explanatory. The two most essential elements are the V shape and the arrow in the middle.The V ElementsFirst, the V shape. The lines on the right and left are boundaries that define the limits of acceptable behavior. These boundaries are best when they are clear and bright. Nothing is left to speculation or conjecture. And they need to be easily known and advertised, if possible.Second, the space inside the V represents the area of Responsible Freedom. That is where you use your freedom responsibly, within the structure’s accepted norms. The amount of freedom increases as you move up the V shape. The structure can be malevolent or benign, but there will still be a V shape. Even in the most disgusting dictatorships or gangs, some gain more freedom by not crossing the boundaries set by the structure.Third, outside the V are consequences for crossing the boundaries. Once you cross the boundary, you move into the area of Irresponsible Freedom. Again, this applies to both good- and bad-value organizations or structures. Even evil organizations have their boundaries. Hopefully, the consequences are clearly stated when the boundaries are set.The ArrowFinally, the arrow in the middle represents self-governance. The color on the arrow represents the degree of self-governance being demonstrated. At the bottom, it needs improvement. The yellow and green represent the increase in self-governance as you move from bottom to top. And the colors directly correlate with the narrow or expansive freedom allowed.So, you can see that for any of us, in the structures in which we live, the more we abide by the rules of the structure and stay within the boundaries, the greater freedom is provided. In other words, the more self-governance is demonstrated, the more freedom is provided.The TableIn the graph above, the table to the right provides some additional ways to look at the Freedom V. For example, you can divide self-governance into three distinct levels that overlap.Self-absorbed - From the bottom in the red into the yellow area. That would be someone who is either inexperienced, lacks knowledge of a topic, or ignores what is right. That is the Learning Stage, which is the same as the first stage of the GR8 Leaders coaching model. At that stage, people need specific rules due to tighter controls. That does not mean you ignore the “why” of the rules.Self-controlled - From the middle yellow area into the green. That would be someone who demonstrates adequate self-governance. This can be measured generally or specifically for individual work or life situations. They are in the Apply Stage, where they mostly need guidelines since they understand the rules.Selfless or Self-denial - The top area of self-governance that tends to work to benefit others. That is the Serve Stage, where people operate on principles and know how to apply them to various life situations.The Freedom V will work with any relationship or organization and is especially well-suited to families and businesses with strong values.A person with self-governance considers others and the impact of their actions on others. They will stay within the V if the freedom inside the V is about excellent and Godly values.
Transcribe →What Is The Highest Principle?
2w ago00:30:02Tap to summarizeThe Antonov 225 is a very large airplane—350 tons and can carry 300 tons of cargo—but it flies! That must mean that gravity is not real OR there is a principle higher than gravity. Of course, gravity is real, but Bernoulli's Principle shows us that speed combined with the shape of a wing creates lift "defying" gravity.
Transcribe →Correcting Lousy Behavior in Relationships
3w ago00:29:56Tap to summarizeJudging other people is so easy, isn't it? All it takes is to look around at all of the "other sinners" and start our judgmental engine. And, what is best about it, even if we don't know something that they are doing that's wrong, we still can speculate about how bad they are. When we are judgmental, we are not willing to accept someone the way they are—flawed, depraved humans just like us. Our "Flashing ME" wants to elevate ourselves above them to make us feel better.
Transcribe →Three Actions To Blossom Relationships And Help People Change
4w ago00:29:55Tap to summarizeWhen you operate with freedom toward others, you do not judge them. You can be disappointed with their behavior, but you recognize that any change they make will not last unless they decide to change.
Transcribe →How Can I Accept Them When I Hate Their Behavior?
Apr 2800:29:55Tap to summarizeWhen you want to be accepted by others you will be controlled by them. Now think about it, it’s their choice whether they will accept you—you must meet their standards (probably multiple standards) and even if you meet their standards, they still may not accept you. Ultimately it comes down to whether they want to accept you or not. And, if you really want to be accepted, you may compromise or ignore your values and beliefs. That's one reason why gangs work and good people do bad things they did not think they would do.
Transcribe →Have To or Want To?
Apr 2100:29:57Tap to summarizePast promises or goals you made can become obligations. It is no longer what you "want" it is now a “have to do”. Now all obligations are not evil, that is not the point. When you start sensing the "have to do" you begin to ignore that you still have freedom to do it or not. You have taken a desire or want, a good goal or commitment and now it requires compliance, blocking any sense of choice or freedom.
Transcribe →Are You Good But Up To No Good?
Apr 1400:30:00Tap to summarizeAs with most of this relationship material, I represent the way to NOT be doing relationships. And, for this control people item, that's me! I speak control fluently and will tell you it severely damages relationships.
Transcribe →Is God Free?
Apr 700:30:00Tap to summarizeIt's a very old problem, kids blaming their parents for how they turned out. And from the parents side, taking credit for the kids turning out well or feeling like losers when the kids don't. God speaks directly to that issue in Ezekiel 18.
Transcribe →Controlled, Controlling, Or Concerned?
Mar 3100:30:00Tap to summarizeYou are "concerned" that you see sin in their life and you know from God's Word that the consequences of sin are never good. What should you do? Since they are free to sin, do you ignore it and hope they make another choice? Do you get involved and tell them about the sin and hope they change? Do you tell them about the sin and try to make them change? What if they never change?
Transcribe →Without This Tool, Relationships Become INTOLERABLE
Mar 2400:30:00Tap to summarizeOur working definition of freedom is "Acting without force or manipulation or acting without controlling or being controlled." Freedom is often not easy for us to understand, especially how it works in relationships. Without freedom in a relationship, you will never know if someone is relating to you simply because they want to. Go listen to "The Third Tool" on the Radio page to help you start understanding how freedom works in relationships. And, watch the "Freedom and Choice" videos in chapter 8.
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