Are Your Complaints Working?

Who doesn’t complain? We all do it. And to be fair, some complaints are completely legitimate. But a surprising number of them are self-created headaches.

Ask any customer service rep. They’ll tell you stories all day long about “operator error” — people upset because a product didn’t work the way they thought it should work instead of the way it actually does.

Some customers will argue for an hour about what should happen, while ignoring the instructions sitting right in front of them.

Reminds me of a story . . .

Years ago, a friend of mine was cleaning an above-ground pool and mixed bleach with ammonia in a metal bucket. Bad idea. Not only do those chemicals create toxic fumes, but under the right conditions they can explode — sending metal shrapnel flying everywhere.

Thankfully, he survived.

Until that day, I had no idea those chemicals were that dangerous. But now I know. I was forewarned, so now I’m forearmed.

And here’s the interesting part: he didn’t call the ammonia company to complain. The warning label already explained exactly what not to do.

Life works like that more often than we’d like to admit.

A lot of our frustration comes from arguing with reality — from insisting things should be different than they are.

People shouldn’t act that way.

Traffic shouldn’t be this bad.

My body shouldn’t age.

The economy shouldn’t fluctuate.

My neighbors shouldn’t do this.

Maybe. But reality didn’t get the memo.

If you pay attention, most of our “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” aren’t backed by evidence. They’re usually inherited opinions — conditioning passed down from people whose complaints often didn’t work either.

I catch myself doing this all the time. I’ll get upset over what I think should be happening, and when I stop to really look at it, I realize I’m fighting with facts.

Reality keeps winning the argument.

And the more we argue with “what is,” the more emotional fireworks we create for ourselves.

That doesn’t mean you become passive or ignore injustice. If something needs to change, take action. Write the letter. Make the call. Send the email. Show up for the protest. Do something productive.

But endlessly complaining about reality by ignoring reality? That usually just creates more suffering.

Here’s the raw truth: many of our “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” simply don’t work. They never have. Yet we keep carrying them around like they’re laws of nature.

So maybe it’s worth asking: Are your complaints actually improving your life?

If they are, keep them.

If not, it may be time to stop arguing with “what is” before that emotional bucket explodes in your head.

All the best,

John