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Pinna
Pinna.
Adam Gidwitz
I just learned about something really cool.
Narrator
Maybe you've heard of Carnegie Hall. It's the famous concert hall in New York City where all of the best orchestras, singers, soloists come and perform. There's an old joke, how do you.
Adam Gidwitz
Get to Carnegie Hall?
Narrator
Practice, practice, practice.
Adam Gidwitz
Though my favorite version of the joke is how to get to Carnegie Hall.
Narrator
The Q Train.
Adam Gidwitz
And nobody likes that version, but I like it anyway.
Narrator
I've just discovered that Carnegie hall has.
Adam Gidwitz
A kids website where you can learn.
Narrator
All about classical music and world music. You can take quizzes and figure out like is it an animal sound or an instrument sound? They have an awesome epic game where you can find all these instruments as guided by Benjamin Britten's Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra, which is one of my favorite pieces of music in the world. It's a really an amazing website, not.
Adam Gidwitz
Just with the resources, but to teach.
Narrator
Love of the beauty of classical music.
Adam Gidwitz
I really recommend it.
Narrator
So now there's a new way to.
Adam Gidwitz
Get to Carnegie Hall.
Narrator
Start the musical journey early and go to kids.carnegiehall.org to check out fun child friendly games and quizzes. Or you can take the Q Train, but try the website.
Progressive
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Adam Gidwitz
To celebrate the new season of Grim Grimmer Grimmest, which is coming out on June 12th, we're gonna start reposting some of the episodes that you all have listened to the most. Now, many of these episodes I actually haven't heard in years, so I'm gonna listen to them too. And at the end of each episode, I'm gonna share with you some things that occurred to me while I was listening. Stuff I'd forgotten or never even realized or memories I had from making that episode. Also, we're doing a live show in Brooklyn on June 14th at 11am at the Brooklyn Public Library on the steps in.
Narrator
And I'm going to retell whichever episode you all vote for as your favorite.
Adam Gidwitz
Check the show notes for details on how to vote. Okay, so let's find out if this one is your favorite. If it is, don't forget to vote.
Narrator
Hi My name is Adam Gidwitz. I'm an author.
Adam Gidwitz
I'm also a storyteller.
Narrator
I like telling all kinds of stories, but I especially like telling grim fairy tales. You may think you know grim fairy tales, and you may think that they are sweet and boring, but listen, those tales you heard were the cute, happy little kid bedtime versions of the Grimm tales. The original Grimm fairy tales aren't like that at all. They're weird and sometimes gross and often scary. In other words, they're grim. And I'm about to host a virtual storytelling session and tell one of the original grim, grim tales to a bunch of kids.
Adam Gidwitz
Do you want to join me?
Narrator
Do you want to hear a grim fairy tale?
Adam Gidwitz
I don't know if you said yes or no, because I can't hear you.
Narrator
So let me help you decide. On a scale of Grim, Grimmer and Grimmest, this story is Grimmest. There's a very evil dude who does some very evil things and also some very strange things.
Adam Gidwitz
Like, very, very strange.
Narrator
If I get to a part of the story and you start to feel scared or uncomfortable, this is what you could do. You could turn down the volume and count to five. Then turn the volume back up. If it still seems like a part you don't want to hear, turn it down and count to five again. You know how much weird and gross and scary you're ready for? You know what you need? Okay, I'm about to join the session. There are kids inside waiting to hear a grim fairy tale.
Adam Gidwitz
So, are you coming in?
Narrator
Grim, Grimmer, Grimace.
Pinna
I'm excited. I am, too.
Adam Gidwitz
Me, too. So this is a story by the Brothers Grimm.
Narrator
Quick reminder.
Adam Gidwitz
The Brothers Grimm were two brothers who lived in Germany hundreds of years ago. 200 years ago. And they traveled around Germany doing what?
Pinna
They collected fairy tales.
Adam Gidwitz
Yes. And they wrote them down. And those fairy tales were mostly pretty. What?
Pinna
Nice.
Adam Gidwitz
They were pretty nice.
Narrator
Okay.
Adam Gidwitz
And the fairy tales were also pretty weird. Yeah, they were pretty weird. And what else were they? They were also pretty disgusting. Yes, they were often quite disgusting. And they were often grim. Yes.
Pinna
Fairy tales.
Adam Gidwitz
Let's get started. This story is called the Wizard King.
Narrator
Once upon a time, there was a king who was also a wizard. So he was a wizard king.
Pinna
Wow.
Adam Gidwitz
Wow. Which is just an awesome thing to say.
Pinna
Okay. Yeah, it is definitely.
Adam Gidwitz
Right?
Pinna
Yeah. Wizard King.
Adam Gidwitz
But this Wizard King was not awesome.
Pinna
Oh, no.
Narrator
He was evil. The Wizard King had great power, but he only used it for himself. People were poor and suffering in his kingdom, but he didn't care.
Pinna
He was super Evil. He's selfish. True.
Adam Gidwitz
Yep.
Pinna
He is evil.
Adam Gidwitz
Selfish and evil.
Pinna
A selfish, evil jerk.
Adam Gidwitz
Selfish, evil jerk is right.
Pinna
He's beef jerky.
Narrator
He's beef. He is so beef jerky. The wizard king's magic was powerful enough to provide everything he could ever need and to keep him safe from any enemies. But he certainly wasn't going to use his magic to help other people solve their problems. So the wizard king had nothing challenging in his life, and therefore he was bored.
Orpy
I'm so bored.
Narrator
So to stave off his boredom, he invented a game. It was kind of like hide and seek. And it went like this. Anyone from anywhere in the world was invited to challenge the wizard king at his game. The game would start, and the wizard king would close his eyes and count to 1000 while the challenger hid.
Orpy
1, 2, 3, 4.
Adam Gidwitz
Oh, boy.
Orpy
I've gotta hide.
Narrator
Oh, no. What if he finds me? Once the wizard king got to a thousand, he would search for. For the challenger.
Orpy
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Narrator
If the wizard king couldn't find them.
Adam Gidwitz
Then the challenger would get to take.
Narrator
The wizard king's crown and his throne and become the king forever. Which sounds like a pretty good deal, right?
Pinna
That's like the best deal ever, right? I think he's gonna cheat. Yeah, definitely.
Narrator
Yeah.
Pinna
There's no way he would give up his throne and crown for a silly game.
Narrator
There was just one catch. If the wizard king did find the.
Pinna
Challenger, he would murder them.
Narrator
He would put them to death in the most horrible way imaginable.
Orpy
Aha. There you are.
Adam Gidwitz
Here's my question for you. What is the most horrible way imaginable that he could kill them?
Pinna
Explode. Their head explodes.
Adam Gidwitz
Explode their head? Is one option.
Pinna
Maybe making them drink liquid iron.
Narrator
Oh, whoa.
Adam Gidwitz
What would happen if they drank liquid iron?
Pinna
Pretty sure they would die.
Adam Gidwitz
They would die.
Pinna
Organs would melt.
Adam Gidwitz
Their organs would melt.
Narrator
What's another horrible way he could kill them?
Pinna
Get pushed into a bottomless pit.
Raven
Ooh.
Adam Gidwitz
Pushed into a bottomless pit. Do you ever even die or do you just fall forever?
Pinna
You would just starve to death.
Adam Gidwitz
Oh, you starve to death while falling forever. That's an amazing punishment. What's another way?
Pinna
I don't know. Maybe he just disintegrates him and his eyes are just left there and he's like, really, bro? Really?
Adam Gidwitz
You're disintegrated and only your eyeballs are left behind. I like that one a lot. Okay, what's one more horrible way he could kill them?
Pinna
Be trapped in a room with mice and they slowly eat you away.
Adam Gidwitz
Should we combine some of these? What do you think?
Narrator
Should we.
Adam Gidwitz
Should it be like, so if the wizard king couldn't find you, you got his crown in his kingdom. But if he did find you, you would be pushed into a bottomless pit, and you'd fall forever until you would almost starve to death. But just before you starved, you would have to drink liquid iron while still falling somehow, and your organs would melt. Then your head would explode. Only your eyeballs would be left, and they would land at last and sit there until they were eaten by millions of mice. How's that?
Pinna
That is disgusting.
Narrator
Now, the wizard king didn't cheat, exactly. But the game also wasn't fair. You see, the wizard king had built himself a tall tower in the middle of his palace. And at the top of the tower was a room with 12 windows that pointed in every direction. These windows were magical. If the wizard king looked out the first window, he could see farther and more clearly than anyone else alive. If he looked at the second window, he could see even better than that. If he looked at the third window, he could see even more clearly. And so on until the twelfth window, through which he could see the very poor particles that make up all of nature.
Pinna
What? Yeah, that's pretty cool.
Adam Gidwitz
It is cool. I agree.
Narrator
Now, whenever a challenger decided to play the wizard king's game, the wizard king would look out the first window of his tower. Usually, he'd find the challenger right away.
Adam Gidwitz
Aha.
Narrator
Gotcha. But if that didn't work, he almost always found them by looking through the second window.
Orpy
Aha. You can't hide from me.
Narrator
One time he had to look through the third window, which was very exciting for the wizard king.
Orpy
Well, this is different.
Narrator
But then he found the guy who was hiding, and the guy was pushed into a bottomless pit. And he fell until he had almost starved. But then he had to drink liquid iron and his organs melted and his head exploded. Finally, the guy's eyeballs landed, at which point they were eaten by millions of mice.
Pinna
That's very gruesome. Disgusting. Right? Very grim.
Adam Gidwitz
Well, you guys made it up.
Narrator
It's your fault. Many people had played the wizard king's evil game because many wanted to be king, but every single one of them had died in that same, same gruesome, disgusting, horrible way.
Pinna
Wait, do they know about do the magic windows?
Adam Gidwitz
Yeah. Yeah, they do.
Pinna
Then why would you play that game since you know you can't win?
Adam Gidwitz
Yeah, good question. Does anyone have any guesses?
Pinna
Cause they want to be king.
Narrator
Okay.
Pinna
Greed.
Adam Gidwitz
Mmm.
Pinna
Explain like, they're like, ooh, I could get the throne. Like, that wizard king can't be that good. Even if his tower can see through the particles of nature. I'm the best hider in the kingdom. I have camouflage clothes.
Adam Gidwitz
Right. As if that's good enough. I think that's exactly how it happens.
Narrator
Well, the Wizard King's palace was in the center of the kingdom's capital city. And at the farthest, poorest edges of that city, there lived a little orphan boy named Orpy. Orpie's a cute name, right?
Pinna
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna rename my dog Orpie.
Adam Gidwitz
I would be honored if you named a dog Orpie after this character.
Narrator
Orpie lived on the streets and he was always starving. Now, the Wizard King had plenty of food, but did the Wizard King share his food with the orphans and beggars of his kingdom?
Pinna
Nope.
Adam Gidwitz
Why not?
Pinna
Because he's cruel and greedy.
Adam Gidwitz
Because he is a cruel and evil.
Narrator
Jerk face is why. Well, it was hard for all the beggars in this kingdom, but it was especially hard for Orpy because Orpie was such a kind hearted little child that he could never refuse anyone a scrap of bread if they asked him for it. So even if a kind stranger gave Orpy a loaf of bread, half the time Orpy would give it to some other starving beggar. I'll share with you.
Raven
And you. Oh, and you too.
Narrator
Which meant Orpy was always, always hungry.
Pinna
Aw, this dude is too kind for his own good. Yeah, he is very selfless.
Adam Gidwitz
Yes, selfless.
Pinna
Very kind.
Narrator
He's very kind.
Adam Gidwitz
Now, it's interesting that you use the word selfless because it.
Narrator
What is the opposite of selfless?
Pinna
Selfish. Selfish.
Adam Gidwitz
So I guess never occurred to me. But, like, who are the opposites in.
Pinna
This story, Orpy is the opposite of the king because Orpie is selfless and the king is selfish.
Adam Gidwitz
Wow, that never occurred to me. But it's totally true.
Narrator
One day, Orpe was walking the streets of the capital city, hungry as he had ever felt, when he found a small loaf of stale bread lying in the gutter. Orpie quickly picked it up and was about to take a bite.
Pinna
Ew.
Adam Gidwitz
I know you're like, ew. Why would you want to eat a stale loaf of bread from the gutter? But why would Orpie be willing to eat that?
Pinna
Because he's hungry. It's like his only hope.
Adam Gidwitz
Yeah.
Narrator
Orpy was about to take a bite of the bread from the gutter when he saw a raven who was crying with hunger herself.
Pinna
Please, please.
Adam Gidwitz
Cried the big Blackbird, share some of.
Pinna
Your bread with me.
Narrator
Orpie was so hungry, he was afraid he'd fall over dead at any moment. But he didn't hesitate to rip off a large chunk of the bread and hand it to the raven, saying, here you go, raven. The raven grabbed the chunk of bread in her beak and flew away to her nest. After that, little Orpie walked to a small pond where he could eat his remaining bread in peace. But just as Orpie was about to take a bite of the bread, a fish raised its head out of the water and burbled, oh, please, I am so hungry.
Orpy
Please share some of your bread with me.
Narrator
Without even thinking, Orpy ripped off a large chunk of the bread and threw it to the fish and said, here you go, fish. The fish swallowed the bread gratefully and disappeared under the water.
Pinna
The dude's too nice.
Narrator
Now, Orpy, so weak with hunger he could barely lift his hand to his mouth, was just about to eat the remaining rump of the stale loaf of.
Pinna
Bread when another animal came and asked for the bread. And he was too kind to say.
Narrator
No when a fox came trotting by, crying with hunger. Please, please, may I please have your bread? If I don't eat now, I will surely die. And without a moment's hesitation, Orpy tossed the fox the last piece of bread and said, here you go, fox. The fox gobbled up the bread and ran away. Well, now Orpie was certain that he would starve to death. He wasn't likely to find any more food anytime soon, and he was feeling so weak that even standing up was getting difficult. Just as Orpy was about to give up all hope, he looked across the city and up at the palace with its tall tower far in the distance. And Orpy thought, if I'm going to.
Raven
Die anyway, I might as well die playing hide and seek.
Pinna
That's a good way to die.
Adam Gidwitz
Might as well, right?
Narrator
So Orpy made his way to the palace and told the guard that he had come to play hide and seek with the wizard king. The guard said, uh, are you sure?
Orpy
You're definitely going to die.
Pinna
Good luck, Orpie.
Adam Gidwitz
Good luck, Orpy.
Pinna
He's gonna win.
Narrator
Orpie said to the guard, I'm going.
Raven
To die of hunger anyway.
Narrator
So the guard let him through. Orpy climbed the hundreds of stairs to get to the room at the top of the tower. He was fighting hunger, an exhaust, and he was on the verge of death. When Orpy arrived in the room with the 12 windows, there were already two other people there waiting to play hide and seek with the Wizard King. The first person was a thief who had been condemned to die as punishment for his thievery. But he had been allowed to choose between being hanged by his thumbs until he was dead and playing hide and seek with the Wizard King. And the thief had chosen hide and seek because there was a chance, however slim, that he might win.
Pinna
It's a die, die situation.
Adam Gidwitz
You're right. It's probably a die, die situation.
Narrator
The Wizard King began to count.
Orpy
One, two, three.
Narrator
The thief ran out of the palace into the jail. And he hid inside a jail cell, thinking that surely the Wizard King wouldn't think to look for him there.
Orpy
998. 999. 1,000. Ready or not, here I come.
Narrator
The Wizard King hurried to his first window. And he looked east and west, north and south. And the first window's magic power allowed the Wizard King to look straight through the walls of the jail where he saw the hiding in a cell.
Orpy
There you are.
Narrator
The Wizard King cried happily. The thief was dragged back to the palace where he was thrown into a bottomless pit. And eventually he nearly starved to death. While he fell, drank liquid iron. His organs melted, his head exploded. His eyeballs finally landed. And they were eaten by mice.
Pinna
Oh my God, it's mice.
Narrator
The next man who was waiting to play hide and seek with the Wizard King was a prince from a distant land who had so many older brothers that he knew that he would never get to be king in his own land. And also, he'd grown up playing hide and seek with all those older brothers. And he was pretty sure he was the best hider in the whole world. So he'd come to take his chances with the Wizard King's evil game.
Pinna
Poor Prince. He's gonna die.
Orpy
One, two, three.
Narrator
As soon as the Wizard King had started to count, the Prince ran down the stairs and into the cellar of the palace directly below the tower.
Orpy
999, 1000.
Narrator
The Wizard King went to the first window. And he looked east and west, north and south. But he did not see the prince. This made the Wizard King laugh and clap with glee. He squealed.
Orpy
At last a challenge.
Narrator
And he went to the second window. And he looked east and west, north and south. And this time, the second window's magic bent the Wizard King's vision around corners as well as through walls and floors. And his line of sight bent right down below his feet. And he saw the Prince hiding in the cellar.
Pinna
Bye bye prince.
Narrator
And the Prince was dragged outside. And he was tossed down a never ending pit.
Adam Gidwitz
And nearly starved and drank liquid iron.
Narrator
And all the the rest of it.
Adam Gidwitz
Until the mice ate his eyeballs.
Pinna
Yikes. He thought he was so clever.
Narrator
By the time the Wizard King had turned to Orpy, the little beggar child was trembling.
Raven
Actually, I've changed my mind. I don't want to play after all, said Orpy.
Narrator
But the Wizard King said, oh no, you came here.
Orpy
You have to play. I'll count to 1,000 and if I see you, then I'll toss you down a never ending pit and make you drink liquid iron and your head will explode and millions of mice will eat your eyeballs. So get moving. One, two, three.
Pinna
Um, he could just hide in the room because don't the windows only go out of the room or stand behind the king?
Adam Gidwitz
That's a very interesting idea.
Pinna
So this once happened to me. I was playing hide and seek that I didn't realize my friend was actually hiding behind me.
Adam Gidwitz
Interesting.
Narrator
Let's see what Orpie does. Well, Orpie ran out of the palace as quickly as he could. The little orphan boy ran along, crying and terrified, with no idea where to hide, when a raven flew up to him.
Pinna
It's the raven.
Narrator
It was the same raven Orpie had fed earlier that day.
Pinna
Oh, I think each animal that that he helped is gonna give him a good deed to help him hide. Yeah, they're gonna help him.
Narrator
Little boy, what's wrong?
Adam Gidwitz
Are you sad?
Narrator
Asked the raven.
Raven
I'm not sad.
Adam Gidwitz
I'm terrified, replied Orpie.
Raven
I'm in the middle of a game of hide and seek with the Wizard King and I'm pretty sure I'm about to be dragged back to the palace and tossed in a bottomless pit until I almost starve. And then I'll have to drink liquid iron until my organs make and my head explodes. And then my eyeballs will land at last and they'll be eaten by a million mice.
Adam Gidwitz
And the raven said, that's disgusting. And you were so kind to me.
Narrator
We must find a way to hide you.
Raven
Yes, but how?
Narrator
The raven thought and thought and thought. And then she had an idea. Any guess as to what her idea is?
Pinna
Maybe he will hide up in a tree. The nest.
Adam Gidwitz
The raven said, quick, come to my nest in this tree.
Narrator
So Orpie followed the raven to her nest. There she cracked open one of her eggs. There was a baby raven inside, almost ready to hatch. The raven scooped her baby raven out.
Adam Gidwitz
And said, you're pretty close to baked.
Narrator
Then she turned to Orpy and said, in you go. And Orpy said, what? So the Raven repeated herself.
Adam Gidwitz
In you go.
Narrator
And she nipped Orpy on the butt with her beak.
Raven
Ow.
Narrator
Orpie hopped into the egg. The raven closed the egg again and sat on it.
Pinna
How in the world does like a kid. That's like. Like a. Ravens are like this big and their eggs are like this big. How. How does a kid fit in there?
Adam Gidwitz
Okay, this is my answer. Are you ready?
Pinna
Yes. Yes.
Adam Gidwitz
It's a fairy tale. Don't ask questions like that. Okay. Continuing.
Narrator
As Orpy hid in the eg waited, a cold sweat broke out over his skin. He tried not to shiver so hard that the egg would crack.
Pinna
Maybe he won't die of hunger, because maybe if he ate the stuff that the bird was eating, he wouldn't starve. Orpy, did you see worms? Worm guts?
Adam Gidwitz
Sometimes you guys can, like, read my mind.
Narrator
Then Orpy noticed that there was a little egg white left inside the egg. Orpie gratefully gobbled it up so he wouldn't die of hunger while hiding from the Wizard King.
Pinna
That is so gross.
Narrator
Back at the tower, the Wizard King was looking through the first window. He looked east and west, north and south, up and down. But he couldn't find Orpy, because even though his vision could see through walls, he didn't think to look inside a raven's egg. The Wizard King clapped quickly and said, another challenge.
Orpy
How fun.
Narrator
He went to his second window, where he looked east and west, north and south, up and down through walls, and now also around corners. But he still couldn't find Orpy. He exclaimed, oho.
Orpy
A chance to look through my third window. What a special, special day.
Narrator
The Wizard King looked east and west, north and south, up and down, and.
Adam Gidwitz
I don't know what magic the third.
Narrator
The third window had, but it didn't help because he still couldn't find Orpy. This made the Wizard King clap and jump up and down and rub his hands with glee.
Orpy
Challenge. Challenge. Challenge.
Narrator
No one had ever made him look through his fourth window. He looked east and west, north and south, up and down. And the magic of the fourth window must have been powerful indeed, because there the Wizard King saw Orpi huddled in a raven.
Adam Gidwitz
No.
Pinna
No.
Narrator
The Wizard King laughed. And he had his guards bring Orpie back to the palace.
Raven
No, wait.
Pinna
Please.
Adam Gidwitz
Okay, does anyone have a theory as to what the magic of the third and fourth windows were to look through?
Pinna
Eggs. Specifically eggs.
Adam Gidwitz
Specifically eggs.
Narrator
When Orpy was brought back before the Wizard King, he began to beg.
Raven
Please, Wizard King, don't kill me.
Narrator
The Wizard King laughed.
Orpy
Kill you? I won't kill you. That was the most fun I've had playing hide and seek in my whole life.
Narrator
Orbee exhaled with relief.
Raven
Will you let me live and go free then since you had so much fun?
Orpy
No. I want to play again.
Narrator
What?
Orpy
And if I find you, the mice will feast on your eyeball calls. One. Two, three. You better get a move on.
Progressive
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Adam Gidwitz
Did.
Narrator
You know that you can listen to Grim Grimmer Grimmest without any ads interrupting the story? Just subscribe to Pinna. Not only will you get to hear me tell these fairy tales straight through the way I tell them to kids, you get access to tons of other awesome original shows and audiobooks. All ad free. Subscribe to Pinna at Pinna fm. That's P I N N A and use code grim with two M's to get 30% off an annual subscription. And remember, it's not a Smurf. Orpy ran out of the tower. Where could he hide now? He stumbled along, terrified that the Wizard King would see him instantly now that Orpie had eaten a little bit of egg white and regained Some strength.
Adam Gidwitz
He'd decided that he didn't want to.
Narrator
Die, and he definitely didn't want to die by falling down a never ending pit, drinking liquid iron, his organs melting, his head exploding and his eyeballs being eaten by mice. That mice thing was really upsetting. Anyway, Orpy began to run.
Pinna
I think he's going to see the fish and the fish is going to ask him to come live in the coral reef to hide. Yeah, and hide him under the water.
Narrator
Orpie ran until he came to the pond where he'd fed the fish. The fish he'd given the bread to emerged from the water and saw Orpie's desperate expression.
Orpy
What's wrong?
Narrator
The fish asked.
Orpy
Are you thirsty?
Raven
No, I'm not thirsty. I'm terrified.
Narrator
Orpie explained that the Wizard King was about to start looking through his 12 windows. And if he saw Orpy, well, more terrible things would happen than Orpie wanted to think about. The fish cried, we must save you. And Orpy said, great.
Orpy
Oh, what did we do? What could we do?
Adam Gidwitz
The fish wondered. Any guesses as to what the fish will do?
Pinna
Disguise him as a sea creature.
Adam Gidwitz
Oh, I like that idea.
Pinna
Fish is gonna eat him. I think that the fish will gobble him up and then when the lizard can't find him, the fish will.
Narrator
Just.
Adam Gidwitz
Let'S find out.
Narrator
The fish said.
Orpy
I have it. Quick jump in my mouth.
Narrator
Orpy said, what?
Orpy
No time to argue.
Pinna
I did it. I guessed the right thing.
Adam Gidwitz
You did.
Narrator
The fish opened its mouth as wide as it could and Orpy jumped in. Then the fish closed its mouth and swam to the bottom of the pond with Orpy in its belly. Orpy waited there in the dark, cold, wet fish's belly. Then Orpy noticed that in the fish's belly there were flies and other insects at the that the fish had eaten but were only partially digested. And while the half digested bugs looked absolutely revolting, well, Orpie didn't want to starve to death, so he ate them just as he had the egg white.
Pinna
Oh, that's disgusting. I thought eating fish was gross.
Narrator
Back at the tower, the Wizard King figured there was no use starting with the first window. Orpy was too clever for that. The Wizard King walked right to the fifth window and looked through it. He looked east and west, north and south, up and down, but he couldn't find Orpy. This made him very happy. He went to his sixth window where he looked east and west, north and south, up and down, but he still couldn't find Orpy. He slapped his knee and Laughed with pleasure as he moved to his seventh. When he looked east and west, north and south, up and down, but he still couldn't find Orpy, the Wizard King threw his head back and bellowed with glee.
Orpy
Oh.
Narrator
He went to the eighth window and looked east and west, north and south, up and down, and there he saw Orpy huddled in the belly of the fish at the bottom of the pond.
Adam Gidwitz
Ha ha.
Narrator
Ah. The Wizard King laughed, and he had his guards bring Orpie back to the palace.
Raven
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Adam Gidwitz
Any guesses as to what the eighth.
Pinna
Window'S magic was specifically made for? Looking inside fishes stomachs.
Adam Gidwitz
A very specific window. He got very lucky with that one.
Narrator
Orpi begged the wizard king, no.
Raven
Please don't kill me.
Narrator
And the Wizard King replied, kill you?
Orpy
That was even more fun than the first time.
Raven
Will you let me live and go free then, since you had so much fun?
Narrator
Orpy asked. But the Wizard King said, no.
Orpy
I want to play again. One, two, three, A thousand. Just kidding. I'll start again. One, two.
Narrator
Or be ran out of the tower. Where could he hide now? Orpie stumbled along, terrified that the Wizard King would see him. As Orpie ran, looking desperately for a place to hide, a fox came up to him. And wouldn't you know it, it was the same fox Orpie had fed earlier in the day. The fox stopped Orpy and said, what's wrong? Do you have to pee really bad?
Raven
No, for goodness sake.
Narrator
Orpy explained about the Wizard King's game.
Adam Gidwitz
And the stuff about his head exploding and mice eating his eyeballs.
Narrator
And the fox said, oh, no. We must find a place for you to hide.
Raven
I know, but where?
Narrator
The fox thought and thought and thought. And then she had an idea. Come to this little stream I know that wanders through the wood and jump in.
Raven
No, I was already in a fish's belly. The Wizard King will definitely find me at the bottom of his chest.
Narrator
But the fox said, just do it. So Orpie followed the fox to the stream and then jumped in, and the fox jumped in after him, and Orpy felt very strange. And the next thing he knew, the fox was lifting him up out of the water. Except that the fox had turned into a human woman and Orpy had turned into a fox.
Pinna
A fox? A fox?
Adam Gidwitz
No, a hamster.
Narrator
What?
Adam Gidwitz
I have no idea why it's a hamster. I didn't make this up. This is in the original Grimm story. The original Grimm story is literally called the hamster from the water, which is just so weird.
Pinna
Yeah, it is.
Adam Gidwitz
So Orpy turned into a hamster.
Narrator
The fox, who was now a human woman, took Orpy, who was now a hamster, to the market. And she cried, come one, come all and see my amazing hamster. So everyone gathered around to see. They wanted to know what was so amazing about a hamster. So the fox woman said, watch this. Stand up, hamster. And Orpy the hamster stood up on his hind legs. Everyone said, ooo oo. Sit down, hamster.
Adam Gidwitz
Said the fox woman.
Narrator
Orpy the hamster sat down. Everyone said, twirl around, hamster. Orpy the hamster twirled around. Everyone started clapping wildly for the hamster who could do tricks.
Pinna
Yay.
Narrator
Meanwhile, back at the tower, the wizard king figured there was no use starting with the first window, or even with the fifth. He went straight to the ninth window and looked through. He looked east and west, north and south, up and down, but he couldn't find Orpy. He felt very excited to use his 10th window, but also a little nervous. He only had a few windows left. He gazed out the 10th window and he looked east and west, north and south, up and down. But he still couldn't find Orpy. So with a pit forming in his stomach, the Wizard King advanced on the 11th window.
Adam Gidwitz
Why does he have a pit in his stomach?
Narrator
Why does he feeling nervous?
Pinna
Because if he went one more window, he's gonna lose his throne. He's gonna lose his crown.
Adam Gidwitz
His crown?
Narrator
His throne?
Pinna
Yeah, crown, throne, everything he owns.
Narrator
The Wizard King looked out his 11th window, east and west, north and south, up and down. And he still couldn't find Orpy.
Pinna
Yeah.
Orpy
Oh boy.
Narrator
Suddenly the Wizard King was feeling very scared indeed. What if he couldn't see orpy through the 12th window? He didn't want to lose his whole kingdom. But just then he happened to glance down into the market and he saw a hamster doing tricks. He thought to himself, oh, I've never seen that before. So the Wizard King forgot all about looking through the 12th world and he hurried down to the market. There the fox woman was saying, hamster, do a backflip. And Orpy the hamster did a backflip. Hamster sing an aria. And Orpy the hamster sang a very short part of the Queen of the Night aria.
Adam Gidwitz
Does anyone here know the Queen of the Night Aria from the Magic Flute? Okay, it goes like this. You ready? You might want to be careful of your eardrums. It's quite high.
Pinna
No, I know that.
Raven
No, stop.
Pinna
I would ever heard it.
Narrator
You're welcome.
Pinna
You're a lovely Singer.
Adam Gidwitz
Ah, thank you so much. So Orpy sang that.
Narrator
Everyone was cheering and whooping for this amazing little hamster. The Wizard King walked up and said.
Orpy
I want to buy that amazing hamster.
Pinna
Uh oh.
Narrator
The fox woman replied, you can't afford him.
Adam Gidwitz
The Wizard King said, if you don't.
Orpy
Give it to me, I'll have you killed.
Adam Gidwitz
And the fox woman said, sold.
Narrator
Sold.
Pinna
That's how you do business.
Narrator
So the Wizard King took Orpie the hamster from the fox woman, and he lifted Orpie up and stared into his little black eyes. And Orpie thought, I'm dead. But then the Wizard King smiled and patted the little hamster's pink nose and put Orpy the hamster on his shoulder and carried him back to his tower. When the Wizard King arrived back in the tower, he realized that he had forgotten to look through the last window. If he didn't see Orpy through that, his kingdom would be lost.
Pinna
Orpy was behind his yonder or beside a shoulder. He doesn't even know it.
Narrator
So the Wizard King moved to his 12th window, and through it he could see everything in the world, down to the tiny particles that make up all matter. He looked north and south, but he didn't see Orpy. He looked east and west, but he didn't see Orpy. He looked up and down, but he didn't see Orpy. Why can't he see Orpy?
Pinna
Because he's only short order.
Narrator
The Wizard King was now truly afraid. He looked north and south and east and west and up and down again and again and again. But no matter where he looked, he couldn't see Orpie anywhere. The Wizard King was absolutely terrified now. It had never occurred to him that someone might actually win his kingdom from him. It was impossible. His whole body trembled as he bellowed.
Orpy
Where could he be?
Narrator
And just then, a tiny voice right beside his ear said, here I am. The Wizard King screamed and he stumbled forward, so startled by Orpy's tiny high pitched voice by his ear that he lost his balance and went crashing through the 12th window. And he plummeted down and down and down to his death.
Pinna
And then there was explosion of blood.
Adam Gidwitz
Yay.
Pinna
His head exploded.
Adam Gidwitz
His head exploded.
Pinna
Wait. But if the hamster was on his shoulder.
Narrator
Luckily, Orpy the hamster had jumped off the Wizard King's shoulder just before he fell. And when the Wizard King died, Suddenly the other 11 windows all shattered at once, and Orpy somehow turned back into a little kid.
Pinna
Wait, what?
Narrator
Yeah, well, Orpy might have been a little kid again, but he was no Longer a beggar, Orpy was the ruler of the kingdom. Orpie ruled wisely and kindly and fairly, and Orpy always made sure to share with everyone who was in need, just as he always had. And the raven, the fish, and the fox became his counselors and advisors, and they all lived happily ever after. The end.
Pinna
Yay. Yay.
Adam Gidwitz
That was fun.
Pinna
This story was all about hide and seek.
Narrator
You're right.
Adam Gidwitz
It didn't even occur to me. That's a grim fairy tale all about hide and seek, hamsters and hamsters. Well, that was a fun episode. What's interesting about the Wizard King having done the Wizard King and then last week done the Stone Gnomes and the week before that talked about Rumpelstiltskin is.
Narrator
You really get to see the full.
Adam Gidwitz
Spectrum of how much I change or keep the stories the same from the original fairy tales. So in Rumpelstiltskin, you probably know that story, and the version I told is very faithful to the version that you've heard. I certainly add jokes and some details, but pretty much it's the Grimm Fairy Tale. Last week, when we talked about the Stone Gnomes, that's a story that I changed and rewrote and reimagined so much, I literally cannot remember what the source fairy tales were for that story. That happens not infrequently, too, where I am just getting an idea from the Grimm Fairy Tales. I'm taking a piece of one fairy tale and then spitting it out into a new story that I think you all would like. And I usually keep the same name.
Narrator
But not always as Stone Gnomes is.
Adam Gidwitz
Not a Grimm Fairy Tale. Name this one. The Wizard King is a really good example of something that is half and half. This is kind of usually the way it goes. So the original story, as you heard in the episode, is called the Hamster from the Water, which is just awesome in and of itself. And that's one translation of the title in, like the edition translated by Jack Zipes, who's a really important scholar of Grimm Fairy tales. The book that I usually use is translated by Ralph Manheim, and he's a really important translator of Grimm fairy tales. Also, I love his writing style. His version is called the Mongoose, and it's not a hamster in his version. It's a mongoose. Who wants a mongoose? Hamster. When you have a hamster available, go take the hamster.
Narrator
Right.
Adam Gidwitz
So we took the hamster for this one, obviously. Now, in the original story, I'm going to break your heart just a Tiny bit. First of all, there's no Orpy. I know.
Narrator
I'm sorry.
Adam Gidwitz
I made up Orpy.
Narrator
I have a friend who's a grown.
Adam Gidwitz
Up who, when I told him that I made up Orpy, he was like, what? No, Orpy is beloved enough that there are kids out there who have named their hamsters in real life. Orpy. They've told me that. And it's just one of the highest possible honors. Anyway, there's no Orpy. And the Wizard King is not a wizard king. In the original story, it's a princess who doesn't want to marry anyone. And anytime anyone comes to try to marry her, she has their head cut off and put on a spike outside of her window. And when the story starts, there are 98, no, 97 spikes with heads on them. And I mean, why did I change that? I don't know. That's pretty awesome. I could have kept it. But it did feel like it was a little weird that there was this girl and the men wanted to marry her. And I knew as soon as I read that, oh, in the end, one of them is going to get to marry her, but she doesn't want to marry anybody. And then she's going to be forced to marry somebody who beats her in this competition of hide and seek. And I don't want a princess to be forced to marry someone. So I was like, forget it. What if we change it to a wizard king? And then I was like, wizard King, that's cool. Okay, let's go with Wizard King so.
Narrator
You can see how these things change.
Adam Gidwitz
Also, in the original story, it's three princes who come to try to marry her. And the first one gets his head put on a spike. So now there are 98 heads on spikes. And then the second one gets his head put on a spikes, another 99. And the third one is going to be the hundredth head on a spike. And yet before he tries to get to her, he. Because it's not a game of hide and seek in the original, it's like as you approach her, or maybe it's unclear because later she's like, you tricked me. So anyway, he goes out hunting before he starts sort of playing the game with her, and he's about to shoot a raven, and the raven's like, don't shoot me, I'll help you later. And then he sees a fish and he's about to shoot a fish. Who shoots fish? Anyway, the fish is like, don't, I'll help you later. And then same thing with the Fox, and he helps. He takes a thorn out of the fox's foot instead of shooting it. And so similar to the bread. But I just, again, thought, like, a little orphan boy named Orpy was cuter and more relatable than a prince who's about to shoot animals and doesn't. So the structure of the story is the same. Some major details are different. And again, the prince, like, gets in the raven's egg and goes in the belly of the fish. There are a lot of fairy tales like this, where a hero meets three animals, and then later, there's a test, and the three animals unexpectedly come back and help him. Except to somebody who reads a lot of fairy tales.
Narrator
And now you all listen to a.
Adam Gidwitz
Lot of fairy tales. It's actually very predictable. Like, you're like, oh, here he's helping the raven. That raven's gonna come back and help him. So the first couple times I sort of skimmed this story. I saw the structure before I read the details of it, and I was like, I'm not gonna do that one. There's a million stories like that. It's too repetitive. And then when I actually read was like, he hides inside the raven's egg. I was like, whoa, wait a minute. That's different. And then when he goes into the belly of the fish, I was like, okay, we have a great story here. And then when he turns into a hamster in the Jack Zipes version, I was like, this is gonna be one of the most epic grim fairy tales of all time. Or Grim Grimmer. Grimmest episodes of all time. I don't have a lot more to say about this episode, though. I think it's put together really well. The folks who produced it did an amazing job. I love the sound of the head exploding.
Narrator
We had to be careful, right?
Adam Gidwitz
Because this one of the most disgusting things we've ever described.
Narrator
The falling forever and the drinking of.
Adam Gidwitz
The iron and the head exploding and then the mice eating the eyeballs. And so the fact that the head exploding sound effect is, boop. Like, oh, is. Is brilliant because it's hilarious. And you still know what's happening. That's the magic of the production. You know, we do a lot of work after I record these episodes with the kids to make the episodes sound as good as possible. And that, pop is a really perfect example of that. The last thing I'll say is that.
Narrator
This is so far leading in the.
Adam Gidwitz
Voting for what your favorite episode of all time is. And I'm glad that you like it all so much, because in 2027 I will be putting out a graphic novel that retells three of my favorite Grim Grimmer Grimmest episodes. And I wanted to have a nice variety of stories, different kinds of stories. So the first story in that collection will be Hans My Hedgehog. The second one will be the Iron Shoes, both parts of that story woven together one story. And the last story in that graphic novel will be the Wizard King. And I'm so excited to see what the windows look like, what it looks like to look through the different 12 windows in the Wizard King. So I'm glad you all like that one too. I love it. All right, Season five is dropping very soon. Listen up, don't miss it. And I recommend you subscribe again so you can hear these without all the ads. The stories are even more fun when they're not being interrupted by ads. To subscribe, just go to Pinna fm. That's P I N N A FM.
Narrator
Grim Grimmer Grimmest is a Pinna Original Production created, written and narrated by me, Adam Gidwitz, author of A Tale Dark and Grim co written by Ali Horn Produced and edited by Ilana Milner Casting by Paula Gammon Wilson Voice direction written by Ilana Milner and Paula Gammon Wilson Sound design and mixing by Beat Street NYC Executive produced by Ann Richards Production support by Ashley Beecher and Thaddeus Dankwa Characters voiced by Alison Lee Rosenfeld, Baron Bass, Billy Bob Thompson, Kat Prittano, Sanofia Mitchell, Colin Ryan, Dylan Jones, Erica Schroeder, Kaelyn Clinton, Kylie Claxton, Lori Hymes, Michael Crouch, Mike Pollock, Nicholas Co, and Rob Moreira. Special thanks to all the kids who joined us for our storytelling sessions. You guys are awesome.
Adam Gidwitz
The Poor Knight A Fantasy Musical podcast suitable for all ages. Brought to you by Foolen Scholar Productions. Follow Nathaniel the Boar Knight and the friends he meets along his journey as he's bitten by a wereman and must break the curse before the full moon. Listen to the Boar Knight wherever you you get your podcasts or learn more@foolandscholar.com.
Grimm, Grimmer, Grimmest: Episode Summary – "The Wizard King (Adam's Secrets Version)"
Released on June 5, 2025 | Host: Adam Gidwitz | Pinna
In the "Wizard King (Adam's Secrets Version)" episode of Grimm, Grimmer, Grimmest, bestselling author Adam Gidwitz presents a captivating retelling of a classic Grimm fairy tale. Engaging a group of inquisitive kids, Adam weaves a dark and whimsical narrative filled with plot twists, humor, and moral lessons. This episode not only entertains but also delves into Adam’s creative process, offering listeners a behind-the-scenes glimpse into how traditional tales are reimagined for modern audiences.
The Tale of the Wizard King is a grim fairy tale that centers on a tyrannical ruler who enjoys inventing deadly games to satisfy his boredom and maintain his grip on power. The story follows Orpy, a selfless orphan boy, whose innate kindness leads him into a perilous game of hide and seek with the Wizard King.
The Wizard King's Deadly Game:
Orpy’s Kindness and Desperation:
The Deadly Consequences:
Turning the Tables:
Resolution and Moral:
Wizard King:
Orpy:
Supporting Animals (Raven, Fish, Fox):
Adam Gidwitz provides an insightful commentary on the creative liberties taken in adapting the original Grimm fairy tale. He discusses the transformation of characters, such as changing a princess to the Wizard King to avoid the trope of forced marriage, making the story more relatable and engaging for modern audiences.
Adaptation Choices:
Creative Process:
Production Techniques:
Future Plans:
On the Wizard King's Game:
On Orpy’s Kindness:
On Creative Adaptation:
On Storytelling and Production:
Selflessness vs. Selfishness: The stark contrast between Orpy’s generosity and the Wizard King’s greed underscores the moral that true leadership is rooted in compassion.
Cleverness and Resourcefulness: Orpy’s ability to navigate the deadly game through ingenuity and the assistance of grateful animals highlights the value of intelligence over brute force.
Transformation and Redemption: Orpy’s journey from an impoverished orphan to a wise ruler embodies the transformative power of kindness and resilience.
Adaptation and Creativity: Adam Gidwitz’s approach to retelling traditional tales showcases the balance between honoring original narratives and infusing them with fresh, relatable elements for contemporary listeners.
"The Wizard King (Adam's Secrets Version)" is a masterful blend of dark fairy tale elements with modern storytelling techniques. Through Orpy’s journey, Adam Gidwitz delivers a story that is both thrilling and heartwarming, reinforcing timeless moral lessons while engaging young listeners with its vivid imagination and humor. The episode exemplifies how classic tales can be reinterpreted to resonate with today's audience, ensuring that the Grimm legacy continues to enchant and educate generations to come.
For more episodes and to dive deeper into the world of grim fairy tales, visit pinna.fm and use code GRIMM for a discount after a 7-day free trial!