← GrowLeader Podcast with Chris Hodges
GrowLeader Podcast with Chris Hodges
68 | Ed Mylett – The Power of One More
00:51:35
How can leaders use their influence to build a legacy that transforms lives and inspires the next generation? In this episode of the GrowLeader Podcast, we’re highlighting a powerful session from the 2024 Impact Leadership Conference at Highlands...
Loading summary
Transcript84 lines
- [00:00]
Ed Mylett
You know what qualified this guy to help my dad get sober? Think he's a psychologist? Huh? Think he's got an mba? No. You know what qualified him to help my dad? Here's your life's about to change right now, this moment. You ready? Watch. Is what qualified him to help my dad. You ready? He was also a drunk. In fact, he'd only been sober 31 days. He was a drug addict and a liar and lived in the shadows just like my dad. Why? Because in life. Here we go. You are most qualified to help the person you used to be.
- [00:33]
Podcast Host
Hey, everybody, and welcome to the Grow Leader Podcast, where we grow leaders who grow churches by helping them reach their full potential. If you're in vocational ministry, then you're probably getting ready for your Christmas services at your church. And I know all of us are getting excited to celebrate the birth of Jesus with those we love the most here at Grow Leader. As a gift to you, we wanted to share a very special session from our 2024 Impact Leadership Conference, which hosted by Highlands College. This conference brings together some of the most influential leaders to inspire and equip others to make a lasting impact. And so we wanted you to hear from Ed Mylett, who's a renowned speaker, author, and entrepreneur, as he shares profound insights on leadership, legacy, and living with purpose. Get ready for an inspiring message that's going to challenge you to lead at a higher level and create generational influence. Let's get started.
- [01:27]
Ed Mylett
Thank you. Thank you. Okay, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. All right. Thank you. Grab a seat. Thank you. Okay, let's get it out of the way, off the top. The video's a little cheesy. I know supposedly every speaker is supposed to have one, but I watched Maxwell. He didn't have one, so maybe I need to rethink that. So let's restart who I am, since that kind of. By the way, if you kind of look at that, if you knew me really well, you would know we serve a mighty and powerful God. For any of that stuff up there to ever happen to this dork right here, just so you know. But here's who I really am, okay? Number one, I'm a sinner, saved by the grace of God. Number one. I think I could say that with my peeps in here. And number two, though I am the son of a drug addict and an alcoholic, and even at 53 years old, I kind of carry that with me everywhere I go. Anybody grew up with any dysfunction in your families? Any of you? Just a little bit got Some brothers and sisters in here. Cool. Yeah, I relate to that. And so I'm really honored to be here today. Chris, thank you for having me. Chris has come into my life recently through my hero, John Maxwell. Get emotional. If I even look over there at John and Chris, this is mind blowing. It's overwhelming, Brother. And I'm so honored that you and I are becoming friends. And if there's anything I can ever do for you. And I've got some ideas today of some things I can do for you, but probably involves writing a check, but, you know, we'll talk about that later. But anyway, I love you and thank you for having me here. It's an honor to be here. What I want to do today is I want to talk about leadership. I also want to talk a little bit about how that happened. I do think it's probably important that we at least really connect. And you know me very well. I'm not known for my iq, and I don't say that humbly. I met my wife in kindergarten. Thank God. One of the first blessings of my life. And there's a running joke in our family, like, how did all this stuff happen with dad and our lives? And it certainly didn't happen because of brains. I'll share one quick story with you. My wife asked me to share this story with you because we get a kick out of it. So in our family, I have two children. My son's 23 next month. My daughter is a junior at Clemson. About every five years since they were kids. My wife loves to tell stories about funny stuff about me to the kids since she's known me since we were five. And a lot of it involves me copying or cheating off of her paper in school. A lot. I'll just be honest with you. So every year we take a family IQ test. About every five years, I. I have finished fourth out of the four of us. Every five years since my children have been alive. And so this last year, I knew they were coming home from college. I said, this is the year I'm gonna train for an IQ test. And I did. Every plane I was on, people are like, why is Ed Mylett doing crossword puzzles? There was a reason behind. I bought a device called a mendy, which is like a brain band. Some of you know what I'm talking about. No, folks, to the Mendy people. I don't think it works. So you put this headband on it. You stare at your phone for 10 minutes. Somehow it's supposed to make you smarter. So I did that they come home for Christmas. This year, we take the IQ test again, fourth out of four. And so we're at dinner that night, and my wife decides to tell a whopper of a true story. I'll just share this with you and then we'll get into the leadership stuff. Because there's either two things going on here. Number one, we have a mighty God. Number two, if you can build leaders, they can compensate for your weaknesses. And I can tell you that I am up here because of the incredible people that I've been surrounded with in my life. Because I certainly don't have the IQ thing going for me. I don't say that to be falsely funny. I truly don't. Chris has been around me for just a few days now. He can probably confirm most of this. And so here we are, third grade, we're in Mrs. Hansen's class. And I fell in love with my wife in kindergarten for two reasons. My dad tells me he was home drunk one day. I came home from kindergarten class the second day. I said, daddy, I'm gonna marry the brown girl. My dad says, what are you talking about? I said, daddy, there's a brown one in my kindergarten class going to marry the brown girl in my class. My wife is Mexican. She was the only non white kid in our class. I just thought she was gorgeous. And so I fell in love with my wife, number one, because she was beautiful. And number two, she did let me coffee off her paper all the way through high school. So it's third grade. It's the spelling test, Mrs. Hansen, sweetest teacher I probably ever had. And I know the day before I copied off Christiana's spelling test. I know this because I don't know how to spell. And the next day we come into the class. I'm just getting goosebumps telling you the story right now, just to you tell. Tell you. I come in the next day and Mrs. Hansen has this scowl on her face. And my heart's starting to race a little bit. She says, everybody sit down. We've got a problem. And my heart's racing a little bit more. And she says, somebody cheated on the spelling test yesterday. And I know somebody cheated on the spelling test because I have two identical tests here with three words misspelled exactly the same way. So I know somebody cheated on this test. And secondly, I'm pretty sure I know who did the cheating. Now my heart's really racing. She says, I know who did the cheating because I have two tests here from Christiana and none from Eddie. So I Am so stupid. I copied her name on the test as if it was a spelling question. So that'll give you some idea that if you can build leaders, great things will happen. So what I wanna do first is I wanna actually give you five things that I believe in building leaders that's required to do it. And then we'll talk a little bit about my journey in building leaders and how that had happened. The number one thing I think that goes untalked about in building leaders and to becoming a leader yourself is you've gotta sell a big old dream. You gotta sell a God sized dream. And I don't think enough people are cognizant of having. Listen to me, okay? Big thing here. It takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams. And everybody you meet has got a dream of some type. That dream may be as simple as just feeling better about themselves. But everybody's got a dream and they're looking for a leader to help them with that. It takes a leader with some vision. And I don't know that enough leaders work. You show me anything in this world that's successful and thriving, I will show you something being run by a leader. A church, a business, a country, a boy Scout troop, a donut store. It's being run by a leader if it's successful. And one of the requirements of being a great leader is you've got to expand your vision. You've got to sell a big God sized dream. People say, well, I run a chain of tire stores. Yes, and you should sell a big old dream and a bigger vision. Big enough in fact. And here's the requirement that all of the dreams of the people that are within your stewardship can fit inside the dream you're selling. That they can somehow see their dreams, their vision becoming a reality in the big one you're selling. Everybody with me on that say yes. Amen. That's number one. Number two, you gotta back it up with your example. It's not good enough. You validate your vision, you validate your mission with your example. I'm around an awful lot of business leaders who, man, they've got a big old dream, but they show up late, they don't live by the principles and characters that they're describing to their folks. But you show me a church which many of you are building or businesses like, many of you, you've got to validate that. One of the things I of the things that I don't do well, one of the things I do well is I work my tail off. So when I told my kids, the Myletts are going to do something awesome. We're going to be a family that helps people meet Jesus. We're going to build wealth. We're going to give most of it away. The Mylettes are going to do something great. And I would sell this dream to my kids because the most important job is I have as a leader is in my home. But I would back it up because before they'd get up in the morning, dad was up. I'm here today. Once we became wealthy, we didn't stop. And so I backed it up. I'm not saying I do very many things well, but I do that well. So you had to back it up with your example. Number three, and this is something that I think is unsaid as well. What are you against? What are you trying to eradicate? What's the problem? Maybe even who is your enemy? Some of you that run a gym in here, your enemy could be obesity. But a great leader has that contrast of what we're for. They set an example. And third, what are we against? What's the contrast? What's the opposite? You know, a tire store. It's the guys who don't do it right. It's the guys who price gouge. It's the guys who replace tires that don't need you. But you have that in your vision. Number four, I'm going quickly today because this was an hour talk. I got to give him 30 minutes. So here we go. So I hope you'll appreciate the pace difference between John and I here. Just a little bit. Just got to go quick. Number four, repeat it. You got to do it over and over and over. See, most leaders suffer from something called leadership fatigue. They get sick of hearing themselves say things. And oftentimes as a leader, it's not about saying new things to old people. It's about saying old things to new people. You've got to get more people, and you've got to be repetitive. And the more you repeat it, the more it's over and over and over and relentless, the more that has a chance of coming to pass. And then number five, and lastly, my favorite movie of all time is Field of Dreams. In fact, I just booked Kevin Costner to come on the podcast. I'm super excited about it, and I love the last scene of the movie. If you all know the movie I'm talking about. Hey, dad, can we have a catch? You know that it's such a powerful scene in that movie. I wish I could have a catch with My dad, by the way, I miss him thinking about my dad walking out here today. But the big thing of that movie is they say if you build it, they will come. Okay? In leadership, if you build leaders, people will come. See, you have to build leaders and the people will come. You have to be obsessed, as John said when he was up here, about building leaders. You want a large following, a large group of people. It comes from building leaders. If you build leaders, the people will come. Does that make sense to everybody? Yes. Let me show you an example of what I'm talking about. Was that a yes? I know, you're right. And quick, let me show you an example of this. Have you ever heard of a guy named Steve Jobs? I've been fortunate to get to know Timmy Cook, who runs that company now. And I've also got to know Wozniak a little bit. Steve's come and spoken with me several times and I'm always. I've got this little mini obsession lately with Steve Jobs because how did he build the most influential company so far of our time? And one of the things he did is he embodied this idea of selling a big enough dream and repeating it over and over again, by the way, even when he didn't know all the steps of how to get there. See, most people think, well, I can't sell this dream, I can't sell this vision if I don't know every single step. Can you imagine if when Henry Ford founded Ford Motor Company, he started to think through all the obstacles that would be in his way, like where are we going to get all the tires from? Nobody makes tires. Who's going to fix all these things? There's no repair shops because there's no daggum cars. If you thought through every single thing. What about emissions once environmentalists come? If he didn't have to think through all that stuff, he had to get started. This is a video. It's a one minute video of Steve Jobs describing something called a Mac called an iPad. 10 years before it existed, 10 years before. And I want you to hear how he describes it, how he packages and frames the fact that they don't know how to do it yet. What he's against, which is the way the competition does it. Most everything I said here will be in this one minute video right here. If you guys could play it.
- [12:24]
Steve Jobs (via video)
Apple strategy is really simple. What we want to do is we want to put an incredibly great computer in a book that you can carry around with you that you can learn how to use in 20 minutes. We don't know how to do that now. It's impossible technically. So we had three options. One was to do nothing. The second one was to put a piece of garbage computer in a book. And we can do that, but our competitors are doing that, so we don't.
- [12:45]
Ed Mylett
Need to do that.
- [12:46]
Steve Jobs (via video)
The third option was to design the computer that we want to put into the book eventually, even though we can't put it into the book now. And right now it fits in a bread box and it's $10,000 and it's called leasing. The next thing we will do is we will find a way to put it in a shoebox and sell it for like $2,500. And that'll be the next step. And finally, we'll find a way to get it in a book and sell it for under a thousand dollars.
- [13:12]
Ed Mylett
How about that? 10 years. Gosh, I got gooseies again. This is gonna be good today. Holy spirit. That was 10 years before that even came out. You see how he sold the big old dream, didn't know how to do it. How he packaged what the competition was doing? That's the traits of a great leader. And he repeated it over and over and over again to where this day, they still repeat things within that company that that great leader said throughout the organization. So pretty cool stuff. Yes. How did it happen with me? If I don't have any. If I don't have that intellect thing going for me, what do I have? I'm gonna brag and I'm gonna tell you where it came from. And I hope this is illustrative of leadership, but also life. I. Did I mentioned my dad was an alcoholic? Yeah. I have two gifts, only two that I'm aware of, by the way. I believe that I'm not just talking about gifts of the spirit for believers. I'm talking about every human being was born with giftedness sewn into them. If you can look for Christ in every single person you meet. I'm going to talk about that in a minute. You'd be blown away by what you'd see if you just get quiet and look for it. It could be their gift of discernment, strength, humor, intellectual resiliency, their touch, their smile. People are wired with these great gifts. My hallucination is that in my case, it came from pain. I think God wants to give you a great gift when you go through pain. That if you can survive pain. And by the way, all pain is temporary. That if you can survive the temporary, that on the other side of that temporary Pain. There's a gift revealed to you. A relationship, a new friend, a new emotion, a new thought, a new talent, that something's revealed to you. I say that to you because oftentimes in life, our journey through this life can be painful. And if we don't know why we're going through it, if we're not looking for the gift, it can be a very difficult life we lead. But if you look back on your life at the end of most difficult things, if you were looking, the Lord sewed into you this, oh, my gosh, I met this person. I'll never do that again. I've got this new emotion, this new decision I've made, this new way of viewing the world. And I know that many of you online and in this room, you come here today potentially going through something difficult, something painful. And if you're not currently, you're gonna. And in my life, the difficulty of my life, the biggest one was my father's drinking. Now, I have two talents. I'll tell you where they, what they are, and then I'll tell you where they come from. And I want you to see your own life and the life I described. And as you lead, people maybe remember this when they need your help. See, my dad would leave on these drinking binges. I had three little sisters. My dad would literally tell me, hey, you're the man of the house. Anybody comes through this front door, you protect your mom and your sisters. Any bad guys. What I did not know as a five year old was most of the time that bad guy was my dad coming back. And so, by the I have two talents. Here's what they are. Number one, I love people. I love people and I read them well, I feel them. If you were my Uber driver, a server in a restaurant, maybe your experience may be a little bit different. I'm present with them. I see them unusually so, and I connect with them. I think that's why my podcast is good. You could see one person on my show interviewed by the same day. It'll be a different conversation. I'm not bragging. I'll tell you, that's my giftedness is I love and I'm present. I read people. My second giftedness, if I have one, is my ability to communicate, to shift people. And they feel things when I speak or I talk or I write. Those are the two gifts. They come from my dad's drinking. By the time I'm five years old, my dad would leave. He'd come through the front door, we'd come back through the front door. I had to immediately protect my mom and my sisters. So I would have to read my dad when he would come through this front door. Immediately when he walked through. There's my daddy. Number one thing I was doing is I was loving him. Even at five years old, he's my. It's my dad, my only one. Supposedly the protector of our family. And I would just love on my dad if I could just love him enough. Maybe he won't do anything tonight. And I would read him. And I don't talk about this a lot. I'm doing this because it's Highlands and I'll begin to read my dad. Got smell any alcohol on daddy?
- [17:18]
Ed Mylett's Father
Is his tie still tied? How's he walking? What's his body language? What's his facial expressions like?
- [17:24]
Ed Mylett
And if he was drinking, if I could sense it, I would say, mama, take Andrea and Erica and Mimi and go upstairs. I'll stay down with Daddy. At five. In fact, I got so good at reading my dad that by the time I was about seven or eight, I could. I could tell by the sound the key made in the lock. Before he'd come through the door, mom would take Mimi and Andrea and Eric upstairs. And my mom would go because she knew half the time I could do the second thing. If he was drinking, I would immediately begin to grab my dad's hand and talk and talk to him and let him know I saw him. And I loved him and I believed in him. Well, my whole job was to get my dad away from the liquor cabinet. Was the end of the hallway. Cause he's already drunk. My dad would make a beeline to this liquor cabinet. All that booze was there. But my dad's drink of choice, Beefeaters gin. To this day, no matter where I go, any restaurant, any bar. About three weeks ago, there was a fan of mine. And a friend of mine in an airport took a picture of me. And it was a selfie. In the background was the whole bar behind us. Guess what I saw in the background of all the alcohol bottles up there? Beefeaters gin. It's in my reticular activating system, in my brain now. Burned in there. So I tried to get my dad because he would drink eight of these Beefeaters. When he would come home. I had to get him away from there. So the way I would do is I talk. Daddy, how was your day? He's already. I say, well, you know, you didn't have any good meetings.
- [18:40]
Ed Mylett's Father
No, no.
- [18:40]
Ed Mylett
I said, well, Daddy hit a home running. Baseball actually Hit two.
- [18:43]
Ed Mylett's Father
What? You hit two? Yeah, dad.
- [18:45]
Ed Mylett
First one was up and in. I stayed back like he told me to. I kept my hands inside, turned on.
- [18:49]
Ed Mylett's Father
Pulled right over the right field fence. It was awesome. You're kidding me.
- [18:52]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [18:53]
Ed Mylett's Father
We didn't have any great days, Daddy. You're too powerful. You're too amazing. Well, my second meeting was pretty good.
- [18:57]
Ed Mylett
Well, guess what? I hit another one left, and I get him over the couch. If I get him over the couch, get him there for about a half hour or an hour, he would sober up. Mom and sisters could come back downstairs. What I did not know is what God was saying to me at that time. Little boy, if you'll survive this temporary pain on the other side of this pain, I'm gonna give you the two gifts that you will use to reach millions of people around the world and do okay for your own family as well. So be looking for this when you're going through it. It's the only two things I got. I can't spell. My IQ's not very high. I'm not six foot four. But I got these two things, and everybody you leads got two, three of these things. And your ability as a leader to see them and to tell them about them makes you an incredible. You'll be once in a lifetime, maybe twice. Earlier, John said, did you have anybody in your life that influenced you? If you're lucky, when you were a little boy or a little girl, that was that one person who looked at you and they just made you feel special. It could be your grandfather, your grandmother, a mama. I don't know who it was, but if you had that person, if I asked you to picture their face for me, it was my papa, My grandfather, he'd just look at me. Eddie, you're doing something awesome with your life.
- [20:06]
Ed Mylett's Father
I am, Big Papa. You bet. You're my favorite. You're my favorite.
- [20:10]
Ed Mylett
Do you have anybody like that in your life? When you're a little boy, a little girl, picture their face. Just a second. Picture their face. Maybe they're gone. Number one. I would tell you they were right. They were right about you. You were born to do something great with your life. And I know this is a leadership meeting and I'm gonna give you some business stuff, like my steps, but I want to remind you something. You were born to do something great with your life. You were. And by the way, you'd be surprised when you're doing it. My dad got sober, by the way. Spoiler alert. When I was 15, never drank again. The rest of his life. And I remember after my dad got sober, it was a very emotional time in my life. And I said, daddy, are you never gonna drink again? He said, I can't promise you that, Eddie, but I will promise you this. I won't drink for one more day at a time. My dad stacked up one more day the rest of his life, and, by the way, helped thousands of other people get sober himself in that journey. And I'll tell you why in a minute that's worthy of applause. Absolutely. When my dad got sober, he was trying to get sober. I said, dad, what would be any different this time? You've tried a bunch of times. He said, well, two things, son. He never said this to me before. He said, number one. And he looked at me, he was crying. I only saw my dad cry once. He said, I love you, son. You deserve a father that you can be proud of. So do your sisters. He had never said he loved me before. That was 15. And he said, and your mom deserves a husband she can respect. And he said, I also met this guy. I'm not gonna do it alone this time. I'm like, what's his name? He said, jesus. We're gonna get to know him really well in our home now. After Daddy died. My dad died a few years ago. After Daddy died, I woke up crying one night. I'd already written a book called the Power of One More kind of a little bit about this, because I believe you're one decision away from changing your life. One new relationship at any given time, one new thought, one new emotion, one speaker away from your life being different. But my dad had passed away, and I Woke up about 3am My wife, I'm crying. She said, what's going. I said, babe, someone helped Daddy. Now I'm 51 years old when this happens. I said, someone helped Daddy. She says, honey, what are you talking about? I said, I've never thought about this. Someone helped Daddy get sober, and it changed our entire family forever. I'm not on stages. I've written books. I don't have a business. We don't own an island without this person. I don't know who they are. And by the way, honey, years later, after my dad got sober, he had told me the night Keith decided to get sober, he was going to take his life. They saved my father's life. I remember we were at the church with the pastor, and I'm like, why are we here? Because they were looking for my dad. Because he had written a note to take his life. This person, this Precious human, whoever they are, intervened and saved my family. Now that's living greatly. One person at a time. The power of one more person, you help at a time. I think it's great to have the biggest church in the world, the second big. But it's one family, one soul, one person at a time. This person helped my dad. My children are blessed because of this man that helped my father. And I didn't know he was a man. I told my wife, I said, I gotta find him or her. And I found him. I'm getting gooseies everywhere telling you this story now. By the way, I don't have a cool name. It's Ed. Let's just be honest. I don't even look like an Ed. I look way cooler than an Ed. Let's be real, right? I don't know what, I look like, a dak or something, you know? I don't know. I'm cooler than Ed. My dad's name's Ed. My grandfather's name's Ed. With my son, we stopped that crap. He's Max. We named him Maximus Gladiator. And that's my kid. Middle name's Ed. Middle name. I found the guy who helped Daddy get sober. Guess what his name is. Of all the names, Ed. The Lord has a crazy sense of humor. What's more amazing about this man is what qualified him to help my dad. See the devil, the adversary will get you convinced. You're disqualified to make your dreams come true. It's too late. You're too old. No, it's that sin you've committed. It's your divorce. It's your bankruptcy. It's that thing nobody knows about. You're disqualified. You're punished. That's the adversary to it. No, no, it's not even any of that. You just always been average, so that's sort of your fate. The devil will get you to believe that you're disqualified for making your dreams come true. Nothing could be further from the truth. God wants to use those difficulties, those sins, those hardships to serve other people. Watch this. You know what qualified this guy to help my dad get sober? Think he's a psychologist? Huh? Think he's got an mba? No. You know what qualified him to help my dad? Here's your life's about to change. Right now, this moment. You ready? Watch. This is what qualified him to help my dad. You ready? He was also a drunk. In fact, he'd only been sober 31 days. He was a drug addict and a liar and lived in the shadows, just like my dad, why? Because in life. Here we go. You are most qualified to help the person you used to be. You're most qualified to help the person you used to be. He was most qualified to help my dad. Now, by the way, they both stayed sober the rest of their lives. You're most qualified to help the person that you used to be. To me, that's absolutely remarkable that that happened in my family. And what ever since that day, out of years ago, I had something happen. I'll share with you quickly. I've got to really talk quick. Unfortunately, about 23 years ago, I was very down. I mean, really down. Not like where my dad was down to take his life, but not far from that. I had been pretty successful in business, and I had lost it. And, you know when you pray, usually worshiping God. Right. That night, my dad had called me and I said, dad, I just appreciate you loving me so much. He goes, just remember this, man. The Lord loves you even way more than I do. It just kind of rang in my ears that, and I'm a grown man at the time. I prayed that night differently. When I prayed, I prayed. I asked, lord, I said, lord, tonight, tell me about me.
- [26:09]
Ed Mylett's Father
Tell me about me.
- [26:11]
Ed Mylett
And I had this amazing experience for I don't even know how long. Time froze. People ask me, did you hear it out loud? I don't know if it was audible or not. I think it was, but you're my son. I love you. You're a good man. You're so strong. I'll hold you in the palm of my hand. Everything's gonna work out.
- [26:27]
Ed Mylett's Father
My DNA flows through you. You love your family so much. You're so talented. You're so amazing.
- [26:33]
Ed Mylett
And I woke up from this prayer crying, the Lord telling me about me, my father telling me about me. And I made a decision that night that that's how I was gonna lead people. That's how I was gonna lead people. About five weeks later, my son was born. He was an emergency C section. Max was born. The cord was wrapped around his neck. We were losing him and Mama in labor. And finally they just took him. And I'll never forget, they handed me Max and Christina.
- [26:57]
Ed Mylett's Father
Is he okay?
- [26:57]
Ed Mylett
I said, he's great, baby. He's beautiful. And got that look of my wife. And seeing stuff that used to be inside, outside, it's like that visual, you know? And I remember we went over. I went over to cut the cord. Now listen to this. I've screwed up a lot of things in my life. I'm certainly not a Perfect dad. I'm not even a great dad. My wife's a great mama. I'm an okay dad. But here's one thing I've done well in my life as a leader of my family. As I was cutting Max's cord, I said, maximus, let me tell you about you son. As I cut his court. You're my only son.
- [27:31]
Ed Mylett's Father
I named you Maximus. You're a gladiator. You're kind. You love Jesus. You're such a good boy. I will always have your back. You've got Daddy's blue eyes. You're so handsome. You're so smart. Your life's going to be amazing. You're a leader. You're a gladiator. You're a champion. Max, you're the greatest of all times.
- [27:52]
Ed Mylett
I cut his cord. Now, I've messed up a lot of things as a dad. If my son were here, he would tell you. He is 23, January 4th. I have told him a version of that every single day of his life. Every day. Text or phone call, every day.
- [28:07]
Ed Mylett's Father
Max.
- [28:07]
Ed Mylett
My son loves it.
- [28:08]
Ed Mylett's Father
Dad.
- [28:08]
Ed Mylett
Tell me. Give it to me. I'm a gladiator. I'm a leader. I'm a champion. My daughter. When my daughter was born, I cut her cord. I cut Bella's cord.
- [28:17]
Ed Mylett's Father
Bella, Boo. You're a superstar. I love you so much. Daddy will always protect you. You got Daddy's blue eyes. You're so funny. You're so strong. You're relentless. Which she is. I love you.
- [28:34]
Ed Mylett
I cut her cord. I've told my daughter that every day of her life. By the way. I'm not talking about. Like, I'm talking about during COVID really sick, still told her every day of her life poured in her. My son loves it. My daughter, by the time she was a teenager, like, dad, don't do it in front of my friends. Running out to school in the morning. I'm like, bella Boot, I got it, dad. I'm a superstar. Hug's not drugs. Bella. I got it, dad. Whatever. Let me tell you something about being a leader. We dropped my daughter off at Clemson. She's a freshman. Her roommate's dad is much more well known than I am. So it's a weird deal. We drop her off and there's kids gather in the dorm because me and that guy are in there. And she goes, do not do this in front of everybody, because she knows we're leaving. I said, oh, I'm doing it. I said, we can go out into the hallway. And we went under the hallway, and I'D written her a letter, and I'd put it on her bed so she'd have it every day. I said, bella Boo, let Daddy tell you about you. And it was on there. We went out of the hallway.
- [29:27]
Ed Mylett's Father
She goes, dad, please. There's people. I go, look, come here. You're a superstar. I love you. People are gonna love you here. You're so, so beautiful. Your daddy's blue eyes. You're so awesome. You're so funny. You're so tough. I love you.
- [29:42]
Ed Mylett
I'll give her a kiss. We leave about five months later. This is when I had an airplane. I don't anymore. And we're in Arizona, seeing my son. I just had this sense Holy Spirit goes, go see Bella. I said. I called her. I said, hey, what are you doing? She goes, daddy, I said, listen, whatever you're doing, clean it up, because me and your mom are gonna be there in four hours, okay? And I get there and we pick her up. When I get to the dorms, all the kids are there to meet the dad, you know, and blah, blah, blah. And as we're leaving to go to lunch, we're walking out. One of the boys says, hey, Bella Boo. Make sure your dad tells you about you. You told him? I do that. She goes, well, Daddy, when they ask me, who's your dad? What's your dad really like? That's the most important thing you've ever done for me. We went to lunch. We came back. And I didn't do it on purpose. And it was raining. I get out of. She gets out of the driver. She walks up to the dorm. I'm standing out there in the rain like out of a movie. She gets to the dorm. She's looking back. She gets to the door. She goes, this is the one who didn't like it, right?
- [30:43]
Ed Mylett's Father
I go, what? She goes, you didn't do it? I go, what?
- [30:48]
Ed Mylett
She goes, you know, this is my cool kid. I go, okay, come here. And she runs to me, up into my arms.
- [30:54]
Ed Mylett's Father
I said, come here. I said, I love you so much. You're so beautiful. You got Daddy's blue eyes. You're a superstar, Bella boo. She starts crying. I said, I'll always protect you. Jesus loves you so much. Because I know Daddy. I said, I love you a lot, but he loves you more. You're so funny. You're so smart, people. I told you. Everybody loves you. I love you.
- [31:15]
Ed Mylett
And I kissed her. Now, why do I tell you that? Tell you that whole story? To tell you this. That's my business philosophy. I tell people about them. I believe a great leader finds the two or three things in somebody. Doesn't just see it, tells them. And then you link that thing to what it is they should be doing in your company or your business. So by the way. And by the way, it takes a little work. What's their thing? Is it their humor, their beauty, their intellect, their relentlessly the way they process information, their problem solving? What's the thing? A great father, a great mother, a great business leader. The call and books are great. Get people on the right bus, right seats, all that stuff. Right bus, right seats. And then they gotta know what you see in them. Because you will be one or two people in their entire life that have seen Christ in them. And you'll be yoked to them in a way that's different than going, hey, you're stud, you're a superstar, you're amazing. Those are just bloviations that mean nothing. But when you go, you're amazing because. And you link it to the thing, now you got something going in your life. As a leader, you. If we had a world where leaders told people about them and looked for Christ and other people, we would transform the planet. By the way, I believe lay people, I believe entrepreneurs, business people could be the biggest ministry in the world. No offense to Chris or anybody else, but people see churches coming, they don't see a businessman coming. And quietly, every day, you know what you do? You help people. And you help people the way that man helped my father. By just saying this, I can help you. I used to be like you. I used to not know the Lord, now I do. I used to not know about business, now I do. I used to not know about tires, now I do. I used to know about real estate, now I do. You're most qualified to help those you used to be. Can I get an amen to that? Last thing I want to tell you about is my dad. Did I mention I was a son of an alcoholic? Okay. It's my dad. Great picture of me. Thank you, team. That's actually my dad when he was still drinking. I'm gonna be really honest with you. I've given this talk before. Not like today. I really miss my dad. Had a hard year, my health. I would love to tell him I was here today. I'm sure he knows. Miss my dad.
- [33:33]
Ed Mylett's Father
I don't know what to say.
- [33:35]
Ed Mylett
That's me and my dad at my sister's wedding. I'd just like to put something there to prove we were both pretty good looking at One time. No idea what happened to me. Dehydration. I don't know. Look at that mug today. My. Can we not throw a filter up there?
- [33:48]
Ed Mylett's Father
Hodges?
- [33:49]
Ed Mylett
My gosh. That's the three Ed Mylettes. That's my dad. To the left, that's Big Papa I told you about earlier. By the way. You know that person that made you feel that way when you're a little boy or a little girl, make them proud of you if they passed away. Honor them with the man or woman you become. That's Papa. Papa's a stud. Papa didn't finish the fourth grade. The reason he didn't finish the fourth grade, it's real simple. His dad died. The way my great grandfather died is he drowned in a gutter in front of a bar in South Boston, Massachusetts. Drunk. That's what I come from. Papa quit school, but he's a pretty big stud. Stormed the beaches of Normandy on D Day. We've got that going for us. And that was the guy in my life that believed in me. Not a wealthy man, but a good man. Three days after this picture was taken, Papa passed. And I remember thinking instantly how much I loved him and I missed him. How much I wanted to make him proud of me. But the other part that occurs to you. Oh, my gosh. Dad's in Papa's seat. Now I'm in Dad's seat. This is flying by now Dad's in Papa's seat. He's the head of the family. This is me and my dad playing golf. My favorite thing to do in the world was to golf with my dad. Neither one of us were great players at all, but it was five hours with my best friend. My dad is my hero. Not because he was perfect, but because he changed. See, I don't think people can change their lives. I 1000% know they can. I know they can because I watch my father do it. I also know when you partner with Jesus Christ in that change and in that transformation, the seeds that are sown are so much greater than just individually changing in your life. Because he changed our family. He changed our family. I love playing golf with my dad, by the way. It was just more about the conversations. We didn't agree on politics, about anything. But my dad couldn't care. I had a jet. In fact, my jet was parked about a mile from my dad's house for eight years. He's never been on it. I'd say, dad, let's fly to Maui and play golf. The great courses you and I were. My dad would Say, I don't care about the golf, Eddie. I just want to be with you. This picture right here is at El Prado Golf course, next to Chino Prison in California. That's where we played our golf. My dad's like, I don't care about the golf, care about being with my son.
- [36:06]
Ed Mylett's Father
I don't need to fly anywhere.
- [36:08]
Ed Mylett
You're my son. You giving most of your money away.
- [36:11]
Ed Mylett's Father
You calling your sisters, you being a good man.
- [36:13]
Ed Mylett
You understand this is all a blessing.
- [36:15]
Ed Mylett's Father
This money isn't yours.
- [36:16]
Ed Mylett
That was a conversation with my old man that day. My dad was. My dad had a deep voice similar to mine. That day was, hey, kiddo.
- [36:24]
Ed Mylett's Father
I said, what is going on with you? He goes, yeah, I had this pain in my chest.
- [36:27]
Ed Mylett
He's playing really slow.
- [36:28]
Ed Mylett's Father
I said, hey, pick it up, man.
- [36:29]
Ed Mylett
My dad was a dude's dude. You know, I'm that kind of guy. Like, a dude. And I said, how long you had this thing? Like most men of his generation, he.
- [36:36]
Ed Mylett's Father
Said, I don't know.
- [36:37]
Ed Mylett
Nine months. I said, hey, we need to get this thing checked. This is serious. So he went in on Monday, Tuesday. Tuesday had a tumor the size of a football removed from his chest. And he was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called liposarcoma, especially in men. Rare. My dad that day said to me, he said, hey, by the way, that was the last round of golf I could ever play with my father physically. That was it. My dad said, because, look, I'm gonna fight this thing once, but if the Lord calls me home, he calls me home. I'm fight it once, Eddie. I said, okay, because I'm not doing the hair shrink. Shriveled up. I'm not doing all that, but I'll fight it once. That's not what happened. My dad fought it for eight years. Chemo, chemo, chemo, proton therapy, surgery, surgery, chemo, radiation, radiation, surgery, chemo, experimental chemo. I'd say, dad, there he is. Every time I'd see him, he was smaller, and I was losing him and was suffering. And I said, daddy, why are you going through this? He goes, I want to get home to the Lord, Eddie. But he goes, when you're threatened with not ever having one more day with your wife of 50 years, you want one more day? He said, I'll do anything to get to one of my granddaughter's weddings. You know what I would do to go watch little Max play golf? My dad would walk the golf course, going through Kemah, watching myself. I'd go to Little Jack's basketball Game, little Lexi, softball game goes. I'm going to get home to the Lord. I'm going to be there forever. I want one more day. Because you don't know what you'll do for one more day with your beautiful family. Now, as I tell you this last story, I want you to do me one favor. I want you to not think about my family. And I want you to think about your family. Will you do that for me? Yes. Your precious, beautiful family. By the way, I want you to notice what my dad was wearing. White golf shirt and his glasses. He wore that every day. You want to know why? He played golf with me every day for the last eight years of his life. I taught him all the visualization techniques I teach in my book. And while my dad would go through chemo for six hours, he would play every shot, every dimple on the golf ball. My ball, his ball, my ball, his ball. We'd play 18 holes of golf every day. My father did that for eight years. Every single day for eight years. Got dressed to play golf with his son. This is one year. I'm not gonna look at that one. That's one year later. That's my dad. See what he's wearing every day. And he was suffering every time. I'd say, dad, you don't have to go through this. I'm getting to Jewel's wedding.
- [38:59]
Ed Mylett's Father
I'm gonna make it to Lexi's wedding.
- [39:02]
Ed Mylett
I learned a lot about my dad and about life during these years. About faithfulness. You think about your family, not mine. You think about your life, not mine. Wearing his golf outfit. This is my dad in the hospital. That's my dad. My only one. See what my dad's wearing in the hospital. He would get up every day and shave, put his golf outfit on. It kept him alive. That day he called me, I was. We're not. I'm not allowed to come up and hug him. They wouldn't let me touch him. I couldn't come see him. His granddaughters, his grandchildren couldn't come see him. His wife of 50 years, not allowed to get near him as he suffers. I'll never forget that. This day, that day, this picture, my dad called me.
- [39:47]
Ed Mylett's Father
What you doing?
- [39:49]
Ed Mylett
I said, I'm down in the parking lot. Pomona Valley Hospital in the parking lot. I'm writing a chapter of the book. What you doing?
- [39:55]
Ed Mylett's Father
He goes, just play golf with my best friend.
- [39:59]
Ed Mylett
If you'd have known my dad before. So gentle and tender compared to the violent man before. Jesus entered his heart and he transformed. I said, cool. Good.
- [40:16]
Ed Mylett's Father
He goes, man, I played great.
- [40:18]
Ed Mylett
I said, awesome.
- [40:19]
Ed Mylett's Father
I shot 67.
- [40:20]
Ed Mylett
I finally birdied a dang par five. I said, that's awesome. He goes, yeah. I go, what?
- [40:28]
Ed Mylett's Father
He goes, you played like crap.
- [40:33]
Ed Mylett
I said, you crazy? Because I got to go. My lunch is here. That's the lunch. Hour later, my phone rang again.
- [40:49]
Ed Mylett's Father
Hey, what you doing?
- [40:51]
Ed Mylett
Just down here, right? What are you doing? I'll never forget this the rest of my life. I give you this for your family.
- [40:59]
Ed Mylett's Father
Yeah, kiddo. I'm not doing so good. Wasn't honest earlier. Not doing good. I said, you okay? I want to go home. I said, what?
- [41:11]
Ed Mylett
My stomach sinks.
- [41:13]
Ed Mylett's Father
I want to go home. I want to be with Mom. Please get your sisters, come over, come get me.
- [41:23]
Ed Mylett
I said, dad, you're crazy. You're going to rally. Get you another steroid shot. You know, I'll never forget this. He goes, all the one mores.
- [41:29]
Ed Mylett's Father
He goes, eddie, listen to me. I have one more day. I want to be home with mom and my children. Please. Those one mores. I'm going to stay sober one more day at a time. I'm going to try it one more time. You're one decision away from changing your life. I have one more day.
- [41:55]
Ed Mylett
I said, I'll call your doctor. I called the doctor, said, doc, Dad's talking crazy. What's the deal here? He goes, he goes, ed, they know. I said, who's they?
- [42:06]
Ed Mylett's Father
He says, ed, someone who's going to die.
- [42:09]
Ed Mylett
I take him home, send an ambulance. Hung up the phone. This is three hours later. That's my dad coming home one more time. That's my mom watching her husband of 50 years come home one more time. Someday you're going to come home one more time. Who do you want to be in that moment? What do you want to, felt, given, contributed? The memories, the people you've helped, what you've done for the kingdom, what you've done for your family. Who do you want to be when you have, by the way, that person you love? You will see them come home one more time or they will see you come home one more time. What do you want to share it as a family and become. Someday you will have one more day. And I know you think everybody else is going to die. And you pray for it all the time. You just don't think it's coming for you. The fact of the matter is it's coming for you sooner than we think. Who do you want to be when you have one more day? By the way, that's the same front Door. When I was a little boy, I was terrified of this man to come through. Now watch them come home 40 years later, a completely different human being. Kind, gentle, tender, generous, loving, giving. Love the Lord. Help thousands of people get sober. Live thousands of people to the Lord. That's my mother watching him come home. That's the liquor cabinet next to the paramedic. I would keep my father away from. You could change your life one decision away. What's the decision? What's the decision you need to make? What's the next level of leadership for you? Pouring into people. Seeing their giftedness. Telling people about them. Looking for Christ in people. Selling a big vision. Repeating it. Being an example. Recruiting people and building teams. That's my precious father with one more hour left. Someday you'll have one more hour. Watch this. Please watch. You see that? Right there. Flicker, flicker. Just yesterday he was there. Just yesterday we were in the kitchen. Just yesterday we were on the golf course. Just yesterday we were with Papa. Just yesterday we were at the wedding. Just yesterday I was a little boy in his arms. Life flies by. It's like a flicker. And the older we get, the faster it goes. Am I right or am I right? Who do you want to be with one more day? What do you want to feel as a family, as a man, as a woman, as a child of Christ? What do you want when you have that one more day? Because it's a flicker. Like a flicker. That's his life. That's that man's life. That's his life. One hour left in his life. About 20 minutes after that, my dad woke up. You have to understand, when you're terrified of somebody physically, and this is the tenderness. My dad would not take morphine for the pain because it would violate his sobriety.
- [45:08]
Ed Mylett's Father
I'm so proud of you. I can't believe God gave you to me as my only son. I love you.
- [45:18]
Ed Mylett
And he closed his eyes. Do you know what it felt like to be in that moment for my father? No, Dad. I got it. Dad. I got it. It's covered. Family's gonna be okay. What? I know he knew everything was gonna be okay. And about 20 minutes after that, my dad took one more breath. One more breath. And he was gone. After my dad passed away, my sisters were in the other room. And they didn't want to be in the room with dad while the Hearst was on its way. So I had the honor of being with Dad. I just want to say this to you about leadership and faith. When I walked back into the room, it was the greatest confirmation of my faith in my life. There was my dad. That wasn't my dad. That was his body. My father. It was so obvious my father was gone, that his soul had gone to heaven. It was so obvious to me that that was not my dad. We are not our bodies. Hey, by the way, you know where else we were? We were in my dad's house. His car was parked in the driveway. We're not our possessions either. My dad's awards were in the very room he passed away in. Were not our achievements or our accolades either. When my dad died, he had problems and worries and fears. Didn't take any of those with him either. You aren't your problems, your fears and your worries. So what did he take with him? And by the way, a better question might just be, what do you want to leave here? My father left the people that he helped. The spirit he did. The people that became followers of Christ. The people that got sober. My question to you is, I know you know where you want to go, but what do you want to leave here? Because when my dad was dying, you know what he didn't say? When someone's dying, bring me my awards. Bring me my pile of money. Bring me all the achievements. Please, bring me all my stuff. You know what my father said to me from the hospital bed? Bring me my family. Bring me my children. At the end of it, in those last moments, it's gonna be you and that precious family of yours. And you and only you and them will know whether you led the life as a leader you were capable of living. Not just about you. Not just you getting saved, not just you getting wealthy, not just you building a business. But who did you bring with you? Are you gonna be celebrating those memories and those emotions? Or at the end of that life, you're gonna be. I left some in the tank. I didn't help as many. I didn't answer the call. See that ad that helped my Ed? He answered the call. The Holy Spirit always tells you, go help him. Go help somehow. That man, I don't know was in the alley, a bar. He walked over and helped my daddy. And as a consequence, I'm here with you today. That's leadership. Leadership is helping somebody when you're called to do it. When the Holy Spirit tells you, answering the call unfearfully to do it, just remember this last. I've enjoyed our time so much. By the way, they bumped my time up. Wasn't that nice of them? Hey, they did. Chris must have sent a text. Give him 10 more minutes. Hopefully it was worth it. I don't know. So, but just remember this. When you see a family that's wealthy or just loves the Lord, just remember this. Or is happy. I remember as a little boy, these happy family. I'm serious.
- [48:19]
Ed Mylett's Father
What is that like to be a. No one's yelling.
- [48:22]
Ed Mylett
There's no worry or fear in that home.
- [48:26]
Ed Mylett's Father
I wonder what it'd be like to live in that house.
- [48:28]
Ed Mylett
Just remember, when you see those families, somewhere back in their lineage, they weren't. They weren't. And in every family, the one shows up. Of all the ones in every family, there's the One. And that one changes that family for generations, forever. Every family. You can get an amen to that. Yes. In every family. There's the One in every family. In my family, I don't know if it's me or my dad, but we're the ones. The world's not gonna have their thumb on the mylets anymore. We know, Jesus, we make mistakes every day, but we're trying to make a difference in the world. We're trying to make a difference in the world. I know you're trying to make a difference. If you felt any emotion when I was speaking today, you're the one. If you didn't feel anything, I'm worried about you. But if you felt something when I was talking, you're the one. It's never who you pick. I was the quiet, not so smart one. Short one, not that bright one, whatever. Introverted one. You wouldn't have picked me and our family. Dad's a drunk and a drug addict, afraid of everything in his life, by the way. And it's not too late. I don't care if you're 75 or 85. Here's what I do know. No matter how well you're doing, there's another level. New level. New devils, by the way. And if you're going to get to that top 10% and make a difference, just know this. When you're 90% of the way there, you're 50% done that last 10% in life. To really live a great life is so much more difficult, so, so much more work, so much more focus than you could possibly imagine. You have to decide you're going to tee it up at this stage of your life and get after it in ways you never have before, to separate in that 10%. And if you do that, you'll permanently be the one in your family for generations. And I think there'll be a long line in heaven, in the kingdom for people to thank you for the difference you've made in their life. As a leader, I went way over on my time. God bless you all. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- [50:19]
Podcast Host
Hey everyone, thank you so much for listening to this episode. And also a big thank you to all of our partners that help make the Grow Leader podcast happen. For over 80 years, Wesleyan Investment foundation has helped churches with their borrowing and investing needs. And whether you're dreaming of new opportunities or seeking wise resource management, we think WIF can help you. You can learn more about this them@wifonline.com growleader for over 30 years, One Hope has partnered with churches and ministries to impact the lives of children and youth with the message of the Gospel of Christ. Through collaboration with local communities worldwide, One Hope has reached over 2 billion young people in 112 countries. Discover how you could partner with them@1hope.net growleader if you're looking for ways to know your people better and also grow your church at the same time, you need to know about Studio C. Studio C combines strategy, technology, and communications to maximize church member engagement. You can bridge the engagement gap and transform your church's impact with Studio C, and you can learn more about them@the studio c.org growleader.