Andrew Tate Sent Me A Death Threat - H3 Show #292

Summary

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H3 Podcast #292: “Andrew Tate Sent Me A Death Threat”

Host: Ethan Klein (with Hila, Dan, Zach, Tamara, others)
Date: August 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of the H3 Podcast is a hilarious, chaotic, and at times surreal mix of gaming obsession, pop culture commentary, infamous internet personalities, and a supposed “death threat” from Andrew Tate—though as is typical for H3, things may not be exactly as advertised. Ethan and crew bounce between deep EverQuest addiction, the bizarre antics of Tate from prison (including his poetry), viral stunts aimed at James Charles, the infamous “Popeyes fried condom” story, and a riff-heavy, biting deconstruction of online legal grifters and culture warriors. There’s a ton of riffing, inside jokes, and live interactions with both audience and gaming guild.

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Main Topics & Key Discussions

1. EverQuest Obsession: The Legend of the "Family" Guild

• Ethan and Dan reveal their deep, ongoing addiction to the classic MMO EverQuest, with stories of forming their guild, "Family," unexpected officer promotions, hilarious player names (e.g., Cozy, Dang, Fika), and tales of in-game exploits.
• The H3 duo immediately derails the show into guild updates, gear gifts, and epic plans.
• Ethan: “This is truly my family, Tadpole. This is my real family. I can’t wait for my kids to go to sleep so I can finally spend time with my real family. I run down into the basement and go, I’m finally home.” [04:34]
• Timestamp: Start – 08:18
• Big live shout-out to the in-game fans watching the show together at the East Commons Tunnel.
• The team gushes about the serotonin hit from EverQuest’s classic "ding" sound on level-up [49:13].

Notable Moments

• They later show the massive in-game guild meetup live on the podcast [145:00-148:49].

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2. Andrew Tate in Prison: Melodrama, Poetry, and “Threats”

• Day 16 for Andrew Tate in jail: The crew alternates between mocking Tate’s poetic dispatches and seriously considering his legal troubles, with commentary on extradition to England, Trump’s tenuous connections, and Tate’s chances in prison.
• They riff on Tate’s “slammer poetry” from solitary, reading his tweets/letters aloud with heavy sarcastic commentary.
• Dan: “This is a creative writing exercise. This is so interesting.” [55:28]
• Ethan: “He’s sending me incredible death threats... but honestly, everything pales in comparison to the seriousness of EverQuest.” [08:32]
• Extensive satire about Tate’s possible fate in prison, including a lengthy bit about him writing poetry to his dead father and “finding true love” behind bars.
• Dan: “Really? Andrew Tate is like Mandela, but better. Better, but way better.” [132:11]

Key Segment

• Where’s the death threat? It slowly emerges that Ethan told the title backwards—HE was the one who DMed Tate with “I want you to die” as a bit, not the other way around. Much laughter about the reversal and misleading episode title.
• Ethan: “It’s not a threat. It’s a wish. To wish, like Geppetto.” [155:25]
• Timestamp: 27:21 (topic introduced), 54:16-57:01 (poetry), 151:45-157:14 (the “death threat” bit resolved).

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3. James Charles Viral Postcard Campaign

• Ethan updates on sending out 12,000 postcards calling out James Charles, linking to a BBC article, with debate about the campaign’s viral impact and collectible status.
• Fan and online reactions are read out live, with the crew speculating on TikTok censorship and virality.
• “I put my heart and soul and my mouth and my money and everything.” [11:34]
• Notable shoutout to “Coconuts Girl,” a fan legend for her guerrilla marketing in Miami.
• Timestamp: 11:00 – 26:09

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4. “Popeyes Fried Condom” Saga & On-the-Ground Activists

• Houston man allegedly finds a fried condom in his chicken; activists Brother Quanell X and Dr. Candace Matthews (dressed for protest) confront Popeyes management.
• H3 breaks down the video, hilariously debates whether the object is really a condom or a glove/finger protector, and plans a Mythbusters-style test.
• The crew riffs on the activists’ over-the-top “choking the chicken” double entendres and failed attempts to rally customers to outrage.
• Timestamp: 158:01 – 188:49

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5. Legal Grifter Watch: Andrew Tate’s Lawyer & Podcast Grifters

• Ethan and Dan break down a low-view podcast clip of Tate’s lawyer, mocking the lawyer’s demeanor, his improbable “we are framed” defense, and his vain hope for a Trump rescue.
• Extended impression and friendly roast of host Sean Kelly; brief debate about anti-water conspiracy guests.
• [101:13] – “Egg on his face” via Ron DeSantis and a deep dive into elevator boots.

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6. Random Riffs & Audience Calls

• Mini-debate on antisemitic business stereotypes and humor.
• Live calls from H3 fans, including advice on video editing, birthday shoutouts, and bizarre fan stories.
• EverQuest tangent breaks occur throughout.
• Notable: Ethan jokes about being more of a “DOC” (drinks of color).

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7. Big Nick & “Demon Rap Battles”

• Close to the end, Ethan introduces a new Big Nick video and launches into an impromptu H3 rap battle about Nick, EverQuest, and inside jokes.
• Standout line: “If you want to walk in my shoes, make sure you have a size four.” [195:36]
• Zach steps up with rapper bravado, followed by Ethan’s and the crew’s own rollicking attempts (all admitting their rhymes are pretty weak).
• Timestamp: 190:05 – 206:18

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8. Miscellaneous & Running Gags

• Donations and “the fairy”: Frequent interruptions for recognizing live viewer support and naming a large-breasted fairy GIF.
• “Don’t yuck yums,” “jug girl,” “buxom,” and recurring jokes about caffeinated drinks and whiteness.
• Extended Shout-outs: From EverQuest guildmates to “Myron’s ex,” to Taylor’s missed birthday message.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Ethan on EverQuest: “This is my real family. I can’t wait for my kids to go to sleep so I can finally spend time with my real family.” [04:34]
• Dan on Tate Poem: “This is a creative writing exercise... so interesting.” [55:28]
• Ethan (Tate Death Threat, reversed): “He sent me a DM that he wanted me to die.” … “Wait, that’s actually what I sent HIM.” [152:23-156:24]
• On the fried condom: “I have an interesting proposition – would the condom not melt in boiling oil?” [164:12] (The crew plans a live science test.)
• Dan on podcast grifters: “This guy does not have a real show by any metric at all!” [105:21]
• Zach’s Big Nick rap battle: “I feel insane in the membrane like I’m Little Nick, I got a big dick up in your face…” [202:44]

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Key Timestamps

• 00:04 - 08:18: EverQuest talk, guild antics
• 08:32: Andrew Tate prison/demise intro
• 11:00 - 26:09: James Charles postcards
• 27:21: Andrew Tate “death threats” storyline
• 30:00 - 56:00: Tate poetry, Twitter gabs, prison musings
• Most of 54:16 - 62:08: Mocking Tate’s poetry/reading his messages
• 151:45 - 157:14: Death threat reveal (the “flip” where Ethan admits HE sent it)
• 158:01 - 188:49: Popeyes “fried condom” video & analysis
• 190:05 - 206:18: Big Nick demon rap battle

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent, bit-heavy, meta-humor: Ethan, Dan, Zach, and the crew riff, roast, and mock nearly everything—especially their own show structure and each other’s participation, with heavy self-deprecation.
• Zany fandom: The episode blurs lines between online/real life community as fans meet up in-game and interact via chat/donations.
• Satirical commentary: On internet grifters (Tate, podcast “lawyer” types), viral scandals, and social media culture.

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For Listeners: In Summary

This episode is less a structured news hour and more a wild, comedic ride through the H3 universe—an unfiltered look at group dynamics, fan culture, internet beefs, and how loose podcasting can get when everyone is sleep-deprived and MMO-pilled. Major takeaways:

• Don’t trust Ethan’s show titles (he’s the one “sending” death threats to Tate).
• EverQuest is more important than real life—at least this week.
• Bizarre scandals (fried condoms, James Charles flyers) get dissected in maximal, satirical detail.
• Don’t ever try to “yuck someone’s yum” or expect anything to stay remotely on-topic.

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For more structured shows, this is not it. For riotous, inside-joke-saturated, gaming-and-culture chaos? It’s a classic.

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Transcript

[Ethan Klein]

What's up, everybody? It's Ethan Klein, not Bradbury. It's Monday. Come on, get in the mood. Whoa. Yo, this is like Vape Nation days era. That's what's up. Welcome, everybody. The HD show coming at you live from Los Angeles, California, August 3rd. When that happened. Time just flies right by, doesn't it, folks? 2026. Had a good weekend. How's everyone's weekend gone? Don't answer that yet, because before you do, I want to thank our sponsor, Monarch.

[Zach]

Yes,

[Ethan Klein]

give it up for Monarch. I am so tired. I'm so tired. And it is. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God, I've been up so late every night playing fucking Everquest. And Dan, I mean, you know, you're there with me. We started our guild.

[Dan]

We did. The guild is active. I'm proud to report that I am a senior officer of the guild.

[Ethan Klein]

Of course you are.

[Dan]

Yeah, it's true.

[Ethan Klein]

It's you and Dirt, you and Dirge. Who, by the way, who. We have a guild member, very active guild member. He's already level 50.

[Dan]

Huh. What's his name?

[Ethan Klein]

Dirge.

[Dan]

That's incorrect.

[Ethan Klein]

D, E, R, G doesn't start with the D. I mean V. V. Verge. Sorry.

[Dan]

Letter.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, it is. I told you I'm not slept. Anyway, I want to give a shout out to Verge. This guy's legendary. Not only did he hand us a flowing black silk sash plus four, but he far. He helped me speedrun and farm be fallen all day.

[Dan]

That's very. That's very kind of him. Yes. I've been trying to pay it forward. I've been gifting many of the H3 fans that have joined the guild various pieces of equipment and money.

[Ethan Klein]

I gotta start. I'm gonna start saving all the good stuff that I don't need because I get a lot of it. I just merchant stuff these days, but I'll save for the noobs. But guys, we made a guild. Now, come on, guys. It's family. Family. Family. That's the. That's the name of the guild that I made. And people log on and they go, oh my God. Is it actually Ethan? I go, dude, you're. We're both just addicted every quest. I'm not any different than you. But

[Dan]

we're all equal in the land of Norath.

[Ethan Klein]

I love all equal here too, to be fair.

[Dan]

But. But that's also true.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, you know, less equal in this office. Wow. In Nora, you say to your guild that meets frozen solid, the gift. The guild is live. Someone said, I don't know what this is. Oh, this is Verde. No, this. Wait, what? This? No, not Verde. There is confusing. I invited this guy Verde because I thought he was Verge. I don't know who Verde is, but he seems like a good sport. But I officered him because I thought it was Verge. And then. And then 10 minutes later, Verge was like, can I get an invite? And I was like, anyway, I don't want to. I don't want to get too deep into the Everquest stuff, but we're on there. And by the way, not only on there, the guild is watching in game right now. They did a guild photo. All got together at the east commons tunnel. Why you laughing?

[Dan]

Why you laughing, Zach,

[Ethan Klein]

by the way, I barely even mentioned it. This is all word of mouth. And we probably already have one of the fattest guilds on the server.

[Dan]

Look at this crew.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude. A rag.

[Dan]

I recognize some of those Gobo.

[Ethan Klein]

Shout out Gorbo. Some dude hit meo. Listen to this. Some dude hit me up last night. He's like, I've tested every available four letter word that still I can use and I want you to pick for me. And he actually had a really good short list. I was surprised with the amount that were still available, but the one I chose for him. Cozy.

[Dan]

Oh, that's a good name.

[Ethan Klein]

C O Z Y. But there are other really good ones that be surprised. Derp was one, I think. Or Dang. I mean, Dang was one of them.

[Dan]

Dang. Dang.

[Ethan Klein]

I never said on the show, but I got Fika, which I'm very happy. That's really good.

[Dan]

Yes, he did.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at these. The dude. Yeah. Gob family. I mean, I love them all. This is truly my family, Tadpole. This is my real family. I can't wait for my kids to go to sleep so I can finally spend time with my real family. I run down into the basement and go, I'm finally home. And what do you like, accomplish in this game? Shut up, Zach. No, this is legit. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. So, like, I. I don't know about Everquest.

[Dan]

Like, what do you.

[Ethan Klein]

Is there a goal? Yeah, the goal is to get as powerful as you possibly can and kill the the craziest. Slay dragons and get the best loot and gods.

[Dan]

You literally slay gods.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Really?

[Dan]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Have you slayed a God?

[Dan]

Have you slayed any gods lately?

[Ethan Klein]

I can't say I have.

[Dan]

Yeah, I didn't think so.

[Ethan Klein]

But I feel like we're so. I feel like we can actually get into some sick endgame raids. Because I want to farm Nagafan. I want to farm the Plains Lady Vox. And then before we know it, Dan, they're going to add Kunark. And we'll be doing some sick crazy ass. Before we know it, they'll be adding values. We'll be killing the sleeper.

[Dan]

That'll be the day. That'll be the day, sir.

[Ethan Klein]

I know. I think. I think they've got a real winner on their hands. Here I am. So how are you? Isn't it so fun, Dan? Isn't it?

[Dan]

Yeah, I've been enjoying it. I. I played quite a bit this weekend too. Less yesterday because I felt bad about myself after Saturday because Saturday I like fully no lifed it. Allison's out of town this weekend too. So bad.

[Ethan Klein]

What do you. What are you else are you going to do? I mean, what the fuck?

[Dan]

I. I played EverQuest from probably like 10 in the morning until about midnight.

[Ethan Klein]

I would have done the same thing if I could have.

[Dan]

So Sunday I took it easy. I. I don't. I still played some, but, you know, I tried to accomplish a few other things.

[Ethan Klein]

There it is, guys. We're so. And Tom is talking to them today. So don't sign up or spend any money until. So we get the word on that.

[Dan]

A little late for that, judging from this screenshot.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, these are just the homies. These are the ones that just kidnap.

[Dan]

These are the OGs.

[Ethan Klein]

Nobody sign up, nobody buy anything until. Until we hear from Tom.

[Dan]

Oh, I see somebody in our guild has the name family.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah, one of them.

[Dan]

Oh, that's good.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, that's real good. That is all right.

[Dan]

Let's get off. Let's get off this shit.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, we got to. But man. Oh God, it's so fun. Here is the guild chat tripping out because I'm there. Of course I'm there. Where else do you think I am?

[Zach]

Wait, so we're not getting off this shit?

[Ethan Klein]

Well, I just thought this is the last one. This is funny. I'm excited. Blah, blah, blah. Verde says we should all gather somewhere for the show. Slow says, hell yeah, that's me.

[Dan]

Yeah, we got that.

[Ethan Klein]

And then someone says, wait, is that actually Ethan? And then Fupa said, just sodomized by. I was just sodomized by a sand giant. Irrelevant. And I said, yes, sir, Slow Poke. First name Slow. Surname, Pokemon. Do we love it?

[Dan]

Oh, that's good.

[Ethan Klein]

Thanks.

[Dan]

Yeah, that is good.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you. So that's all I have to say about that for now, but thank you. Shout out to all the homies out There chilling in the East Common Land tunnel, watching the show right now. Shout out. Wish I was there with you boys.

[Hila Klein]

Dan, he's a good guy.

[Ethan Klein]

You can real quick say hi. Oh, my God. That's such a good idea. They're all there. I should go say hi.

[Dan]

No, no, please. Maybe later in the episode. Later in the episode. We got to get on to something else. And I'm saying this as somebody that is also hopelessly addicted to this game right now. We have to move on.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right at the top is tough. Yeah, exactly. At the top is.

[Dan]

Let's, let's.

[Ethan Klein]

But I'm so forward. I'm delirious.

[Dan]

Besides, we have something fucking huge to talk about today. Andrew Tate is threatening to kill you from a prison cell.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. He has operatives on the outside. He's sending me to create incredible death threats. Yes, we'll get into that. It's actually pretty insane, but honestly, nothing pales in comparison. Everything pales in comparison to the seriousness of EverQuest. Anyway, so what time you been staying up?

[Dan]

Zach.

[Ethan Klein]

Zach, Bro, I'm very tired. Yeah, like 5:00am Type. Not that late. Not that far off. Short up, huh? No, no, I'm not gonna shortchange y'. All. Today on the show we got RFK crashes out on cnn. Love that. RFK is actually in studio, so we'll be able to get his comments.

[Dan]

Nice.

[Ethan Klein]

Andrew Tate is writing poems and death threats from prison.

[Hila Klein]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Quanelle X and Dr. Candice pull up to Popeyes over a deep fried condom. That is, of course, good. The beloved duo. She pulls out a brick. Exactly. Who was in the parking lot of elementary school? And by the way, they're calling in, I believe, on Wednesday.

[Dan]

That is right. That is right. Are you preparing?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah. Are you.

[Dan]

Are you bracing yourself?

[Ethan Klein]

I'm ready to joust.

[Dan]

You're gonna be brutally.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, to be frank, I think we are probably going to agree on most things.

[Dan]

Really.

[Ethan Klein]

Except for the fact. Well, there's one other little small dispute we might have. But okay. Tiny like condoms. I don't think you should serve condoms at Popeyes.

[Dan]

That's true. I'm with you on that.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't think teachers should be taking nudes from their classroom.

[Dan]

I find it hard to disagree with either of those.

[Ethan Klein]

So they're kind of on the money on those two, at least.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

You know they said the Jews are cheap, right? What does that have to do with anything when it comes to doing business with other people other than a Jew? See, Jews definitely rip off other Jews.

[Hila Klein]

Is it true?

[Ethan Klein]

I've experienced that many.

[Dan]

That's the part that you want to correct?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. You think? Yeah, like, because, you know, one of the anti anti Semitic conspiracies that you hear is that like, Jews are very in group and they. They benefit each other and all that stuff. I've been ripped off by Jews plenty of times. Trust me on that. True that. Jews always try to Jew people down. What does that mean? Is it true?

[Dan]

It just. Is it true?

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, everybody is trying to get the best deal possible, aren't they? Is it true? I guess in the sense that everybody is trying to do that. You don't like getting the best deal, sir. Have you heard that, though? I have heard that, yes.

[Zach]

Oh, okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. Anywho.

[Dan]

Anywho.

[Ethan Klein]

Lots of goofs and gaffes. Oh, an announcement. I know everybody was very upset about the camping video we made being short. So for members up right now we have the uncut bonus content of us sitting around a bonfire talking. That's right. You can see us. Did you edit that tomorrow?

[Zach]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

That was you, love.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

And you can.

[Zach]

It's like, not really. It just. It's not really edited.

[Ethan Klein]

It's just. It's just us talking.

[Dan]

Yeah, it's just literally a raw.

[Ethan Klein]

How long is it? Like 30 minutes, I think. Look at that.

[Dan]

It's uploading right now. I had to re edit a little part so it'll be obvious.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what people like. They just like us to be talking. So that's what we got you. And there's all. There's so many things in that that you are gonna find incredible. So shout out members. We have some James Charles flyer updates that I want to share with you guys. People are starting to get their postcards. I believe this is going out till Wednesday or Tuesday still. So obviously we're. We're still mid in it. And I'm just curious. I'll be honest. It hasn't really popped off the way that the last one did, but maybe it's just we're still getting there, but it is what it is. I mean, listen, I put. I'm putting my heart and soul and my mouth and my money and everything. Random people are posting their postcards. Let's take a look at this. This. I love this. I'm crying. Why did I get this in the mail,

[Hila Klein]

brother? Hold on, man.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Hold on.

[Ethan Klein]

Hold on, man. Please, please, please, please, please. Who is that coming out? How is this not going viral? This is so funny. Y' all got that in the mail. Unless Tik Tok is Like, you know, running defense for him. Still. Tennis producer got one and posted on a story. Shout out. I mean, listen, if nothing, I just love the joy and excitement and the surprise and shock that I'm able to give everybody there, you know, there it is. I just realized we don't have any of them. The guy, a fan, asked for one and I was like, yeah, of course we can get you one. I don't have any. People are trying to buy these. It's collectible. H3 fan. Surprised to get one. Well, listen, you live in Encino, There's a good chance you're getting one of these. I haven't seen today's episode, but I live in LA area and just got this in the mail. Guessing this is the work of Ethan Klein. This is from three days ago. It has to be. Anyone else get one? Can't wait to watch. Disgusting. That is disgusting. Disgusting, disgusting. April. This article, by the way, I'm just realizing, is from April 1st. Hitler's birthday is on April 20th. So 19 days difference. That's the age. That's too old for James. Connect the dots, triangulate. Figure it out. Anybody following? Yeah, I am. I'm very tired, guys. So, 4:00am I don't want to answer that. I stopped looking at the clock at a certain point.

[Hila Klein]

Damn.

[Zach]

Because I can tell you I went to sleep at 2, so you were not even coming up.

[Ethan Klein]

I meant to log off at 2. I did.

[Zach]

Like, you meant to go to Gaza?

[Ethan Klein]

I did. I thought about going to Gaza and I thought about logging off it, too. I thought about donating my entire wealth to cancer research. Everything we have. I thought about it.

[Dan]

You would much rather spend your time going after someone who is actually considering genuinely going to Gaza?

[Ethan Klein]

Did he go? We got to check in on the guy. We know he considered it.

[Zach]

He didn't go. And no, we don't need to check in.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, well, you're right about. You're right about that on both counts. So, like, when you. When you're sitting there playing the game, do your legs ever fall asleep or

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

do you get up?

[Ethan Klein]

It's ridiculous, bro. You think this is my first rodeo? Like, what do you. How do you get circulation going? You just. I. You just. I mean, you get up to go pee. I put my legs up on the table. Okay. To be honest, though, I start late, so I don't play that long. Like Dan did. Sounds like 14 hours. Like, I don't. I don't have. I wish I had the opportunity to do 14 hours of EverQuest. I would.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Zach]

Zach, when you do the sound bites, do your fingers get tired?

[Ethan Klein]

They do, yeah.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

They do.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. I have to do little finger exercises. You do? Yeah. I have to go like this. I was taught to turn the doorknob. That was a good. Turn the doorknob. And I was in typing class in, like, fifth grade, which I shredded, by the way.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

And they. She said, do this.

[Dan]

Turn the doorknob.

[Ethan Klein]

Turn the doorknob. Yeah. Like a. Like a big titty twister, I guess.

[Zach]

Massive.

[Ethan Klein]

You won't. Well, it depends how big you make your hands, I guess.

[Zach]

I mean, okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know. I just wasn't trying to make it sexual. So I'm like, well, tomorrow's like, oh, big ass titty. Zach was. Nope, my hands are closed. No titties.

[Hila Klein]

I didn't.

[Ethan Klein]

Mara said that.

[Zach]

But you said you. No, I did. I didn't bring up tits.

[Ethan Klein]

I have no recollection it was Zach actually recalling how this all came to be. But anyway. Yeah. That's supposed to prevent carpal tunnel, man. I heard that, like, 30 years ago, so I don't know if it's true.

[Hila Klein]

Hmm.

[Ethan Klein]

But it might be the first time

[Zach]

my hands ever actually hurt from gaming. Was God of War and they were, like, cramping up.

[Ethan Klein]

That's recent.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Good for you. You're really becoming a real gamer.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Proud of you.

[Zach]

Yeah, yeah. And I just pushed through it.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Dan]

I mean, anytime your. Your body is telling you that a repeated action is probably like, it's hur. The best thing you can do is just push right through.

[Zach]

Yeah. Yeah, I did double down. Yeah.

[Dan]

Putting more.

[Ethan Klein]

Play harder.

[Zach]

I mean, I would stop for like, a few seconds and shake it out.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Dan]

That's amateur. My guitar teacher told me to tough it out, so that's probably not.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what I tell myself. He said that to you?

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I was like 8.

[Dan]

He called you a pussy.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, he's like, tough it out. Are you talking about the finger pain? No, because the wrist. I feel it in my wrist, you know? So was he right? Yeah, I tough it out.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I knew he was right. Good guy. Rest in peace. He's dead. No, he's not. He's a good guy. Just been a while. We're getting old. Yeah. I just assume everybody from when we're eight is dead. Getting like that, you know?

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Yeah, it is.

[Ethan Klein]

Tamara is. I was saying she has a Steam Deck you can play on. Steam Deck. EverQuest. There's a way to do it. I don't know how, but there's a way.

[Zach]

Oh, I thought you said you couldn't.

[Ethan Klein]

No, it's like you have to like reverse engineer and hack it. I would never go through the effort of doing that. You have to like install like third party software and.

[Zach]

Yeah, I don't.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't want to get. I don't want to do that.

[Zach]

Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. No, sorry, I'm not. I just remember I had a dream last night I was addicted to nicotine again. But. Yeah. No, I don't want a game. I don't want to. I can't. That just reminded. I'm trying to not. What are you saying? Because I.

[Ethan Klein]

Are you afraid of becoming addicted to EverQuest and you had a yes. About being addicted to nicotine?

[Zach]

Yes. And that triggered yes.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

You want to Zen?

[Zach]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Zach]

Thank you though.

[Ethan Klein]

I could hit one. I don't have Zen. I got the ones Uncle Brian gave me. Yeah, I want one.

[Dan]

You want one?

[Ethan Klein]

I thought you said you don't like them. I'm off EverQuest and I need something in between. I am so stoked on this game. You guys don't know. This is the best game ever made. Thank you. People look at it and they go, oh, okay. I'm not doing it, brother. Yeah, I'm not doing it. Ooh, what is this flavor? Smells fruity? Blueberry lemonade. Blueberry lemonade? This is illegal in California, you know that.

[Hila Klein]

Them.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude, you're not. You're not allowed to have flavored nicotine in California. They're. They're running this across the border.

[Zach]

Don't mention it on a live.

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, this is. This is. And I'm going to call you out, Zach, because this is a. Everything we do here is legal in this office.

[Hila Klein]

I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

This is interstate contraband.

[Dan]

Well, this is your brother in law. That would be liable then.

[Ethan Klein]

Fuck. You know, listen, I am not. The law applies to everybody equally, Dan. If they need to go to jail for bringing flavored Zen, blueberry lemonade, flavored Zinn, then so be it.

[Hila Klein]

Ice.

[Ethan Klein]

Ice.

[Dan]

Blueberry lemonade.

[Ethan Klein]

Ice is the flavor. What Ice doesn't have a flavor. It's like a chill. Okay. Seems like a little extra Wordy. I'm gonna pop this in. What's the milligrams on this? It's a sixer. Oh God, that's a lot.

[Zach]

I found a way to hack Ethan's gaming into making me happy and not upset. And it's by. It forces me to go and paint so the more you play, I paint. And there you go. It's a happy feedback loop to the women out there.

[Ethan Klein]

Make the best of it.

[Zach]

Make lemonade.

[Ethan Klein]

Make lemonade. Blueberry ice. Zen.

[Dan]

So, apparently bringing flavored Zinn packs into California, if it's for personal use, is not illegal.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, good. Well, then I guess I'll call the police and retract my report.

[Dan]

Probably should do that. How about distributing like Zach just did? Sold it to him. It'd be a problem, but him just lending him one, I think is probably okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, no, I guess it is a crime, because I. I gave it to him.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, you dealt.

[Dan]

You're a dealer. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Let me ask you this.

[Dan]

You're a pusher, man.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you have a scale in baggies on you?

[Dan]

Maybe some dime bags?

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. Because I said the I told you did. Maybe this thing is. This thing is intense. I told you said you don't like them. Burns my lip.

[Zach]

I know.

[Ethan Klein]

Tough it out.

[Zach]

Tough it out.

[Ethan Klein]

Put it back down. I've done a lot of these in my time. I don't know why. Go bottom this. Because it's real.

[Zach]

Burn your gums because it's real.

[Ethan Klein]

As opposed to what?

[Dan]

Oh, because it's not.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not like, a sin. What do you think I mean? The Matrix? What do you mean it's real? It's real, bro.

[Zach]

Maybe it's illegal for a reason.

[Ethan Klein]

No, it's the flavored one because it appeals to kids, not. The thing itself isn't illegal. It's all nicotine. It's vapes.

[Zach]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Hookah. I think, even.

[Zach]

You know, I was telling Tamara about my paintings, and I really discovered I did it all wrong. Like, I did every possible mistake when I started these paintings, and that's why it's taken me so goddamn long.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, you're learning.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Yeah.

[Zach]

I don't. I think, though, I like the mistakes that you made. And they add to it a.

[Ethan Klein]

I think they suck, and you need to do better.

[Zach]

Have you even looked at it? Ethan? What do you think he did? He actually complimented me.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh. They look really good. I like them a lot.

[Zach]

I think I'm finally almost about to finish those two that I've been working on since last year.

[Ethan Klein]

I think you should put them up in our house.

[Zach]

Or you should give me one, or.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, I. I honestly thought. I was like, man, you could sell that. You could do, like, a Hunter Biden thing and sell your art.

[Zach]

That would be cool.

[Ethan Klein]

Anyway, who cares? I mean, not that I care. No, sorry, that came out wrong.

[Zach]

Nobody cares. Get to the topic.

[Ethan Klein]

That's just. What?

[Zach]

What's the topic?

[Ethan Klein]

That's just what I say when I want to.

[Zach]

The topic.

[Dan]

What's the topic?

[Ethan Klein]

In loving memory of Ethan. Post after that.

[Zach]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

GG to Ethan. All right, where are we at?

[Dan]

All right, let's go, Ethan.

[Ethan Klein]

Come on. Yeah, there's more. James Charles. Things instantly blocked after asking about the flyer on live. I mean, that doesn't surprise me. I asked James if he heard about the postcards sent to his neighbors. I was scrolling through TikToks and James Charles painted was the next slide to appear. I don't follow him or painted brand. Oh, really? You expect us to believe that he was live selling. He was live selling his gear. And I asked in chat, James, have you heard about the postcards that were sent to your neighbors? I got muted and blocked immediately. I thought it was funny enough to share with the family. He seemed very much aware based on his reaction. Wish I screenshot it to share it too. Lol. Peace and love. I mean, he probably got one, you know? I mean, he should have got one. Yeah. Based on. Based on our campaign. Coconut girl spreads the news. I don't know what the that means. Let's find out. Hashtag Ethan Klein again. Oh, this is the girl. This is the girl that. That hit up coconuts in Miami. This is our operative in Miami. That's Coconuts Girl. Wait, Ethan Klein. Pay for a billboard calling James Charles.

[Zach]

Is this also the girl that had the teddy fresh bag? Yeah, this is. Oh, my love. This girl. She is such a legend.

[Ethan Klein]

She. Yes, her name is Bridget on TikTok.

[Zach]

Fearless. Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

I didn't say he's a pedophile, just for the record. All right, I'm going to correct.

[Zach]

Wait. So she's. She's from Miami.

[Ethan Klein]

If you want to see what I said, just read it. It's very specific language with an asterisk and sourced and everything. Yes. Well, I mean, I don't know. I'm assuming because she keeps running people in Miami.

[Zach]

She's great. She's.

[Ethan Klein]

And within 24 hours, James got it taken down. You thought that was. She said, I can hear. She's at a party again. I can tell you can hear everyone in the background. This girl's living her best life. I don't know what's going on, but. Shout out. He wasn't done.

[Zach]

Guess what he just did.

[Ethan Klein]

Check me. He sent out 12, 000 postcards. Was on the billboard. Say, hey, James, I hear you text

[Zach]

him Young with a QR code to the BBC article. 12,000.

[Ethan Klein]

There you go. To everyone that lives in James Charles. Tell me that's not amazing. Did it again. Thank you. I appreciate the excitement because I. I feel that. I feel like it is pretty incredible. You ought to be paying her enough. Good. I'm ready.

[Zach]

We need her to do Boots on the ground in Miami. Are we in contact with her or not?

[Ethan Klein]

I don't believe. I don't talk with her. No.

[Zach]

Yeah. At least send her a care package.

[Ethan Klein]

No, we should have boots on the ground in Miami. I. I agree. Let me see.

[Zach]

Okay. Like, just to go back to the

[Dan]

Madison Rudy of it all.

[Ethan Klein]

Madison is in. Don't think we can play.

[Zach]

And she's gorgeous.

[Ethan Klein]

Of course she's doing girly stuff, which we need. We need the girl, I mean, really

[Zach]

confident to do that video in bikini. Oh, yeah. She. She knew what. She knew what she was doing. I love her.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow.

[Zach]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Well. Well, we should try to. Someone. I don't know who's logged into Tick Tock socials.

[Zach]

I'll message her from my Tick Tock. Well, we gotta do it from the podcast.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, do it from the podcast.

[Zach]

I don't have the podcast.

[Ethan Klein]

Ticked up. Does.

[Dan]

Yeah, I got it.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what I mean? You can do that also, if you want. You know, if you're looking for friends

[Dan]

Tomorrow, fans aren't normal, bro.

[Zach]

They are.

[Ethan Klein]

That's true.

[Zach]

They are.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, they skew towards what's special.

[Zach]

Watch it.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm a tomorrow fan. So am I. And I'm just saying they skew a certain way. You do. You do. Oh, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not offering a job, just for the record. I just want to make contact. Yeah, that's it. I just want to make contact and say hi.

[Zach]

I just think having an agent in Miami could be useful, though. Yeah, for, like, covering, you know, clavicular. I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

Whatever. Who cares? We're gonna go contact them. Shout. Andrew Tate has been drafting me death threats from prison.

[Dan]

Hold on. I don't want to get into that quite yet because we're at 27 and a half minutes, so we got to

[Ethan Klein]

do such a good point, Dan. I want to thank our sponsor today,

[Dan]

Monarch.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you love money?

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you love keeping your money?

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Zach]

I like spending it too, though.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, well, of course you do, but you want to do both. You want to spend it and you want to keep it. You know what I hate is wasting my money more than anything, right? Regretting spending your money. Monarch is a financial app that syncs up to your bank automatically sorts through all of your spending your credit card bills, your reoccurring payments, categorizes it and like clothing, entertainment, food, reoccurring payments, etc. EverQuest EverQuest in game currency purchases. And it. Can you pull up the, the, the flowchart, Dan?

[Dan]

Sure.

[Ethan Klein]

I love that flowchart. Yeah. Just to give people an idea of, of what it, what it does, but essentially it helps you plan for the future. It's time to get serious with our money and how we are saving and what are we doing. We're not that young anymore folks. Did you hit your savings goal this month? What about your net worth milestone? Will Monarch set those up for you and helps you hit them? You know, did you learn that a large percentage of your income was going somewhere unexpected like for example, postmates. You're like oh my God, I spent 90% of my disposable income on postmates. Maybe eat ramen a couple of times a month and you're going to be saving like a few hundred dollars, maybe even $1,000 a month. That adds up. Did you realize your monthly savings rate had quietly fallen short as your lifestyle expenses crept up? Has Monarch taken the mental load of tracking your financials off your plate? Yes. Well guess what? They have a weekly AI recap to catch a spending hike before it becomes a problem. They've got easy to read diagrams to help you visualize exactly where your money is being spent every month. Like for example, if you see here how it flows, please show their website. Dan. Yeah, so you have a pie chart here. It tells you this is like your savings, your net worth you can see on the right and then transactions. So it automatically sorts all your transactions through your bank with some really well trained proprietary software that they've set up there. And it's so accurate too. Other times when you connect financial software to your bank, it takes a ton of time because it doesn't. It makes all kinds of mistakes and you have to correct it. Monarch is practically flawless in its execution of that. This person is rich, eh, Whoever's portal that is. Then look at this. Paycheck, income, savings, mortgage, loan. I can't. It's very small from where I'm looking, but you kind of get the idea. It helps you keep track of basically where your money is. And the best part, you don't want to waste money. It's going to tell you all the reoccurring payments, for example, that have been silently eating away at your savings and making a fool of you stars is making a fool of you right now. Charging you $20 a month for something you didn't even know you're paying. Stars. Showtime. No offense, Showtime. You know how many reoccurring payments are hiding in our. The depths of our account? So they can tell you which ones you're using and so you can intent intelligently turn off the ones that are just eating at you for no reason. And that's why I think you're even going to save money by signing up. They have an AI assistant. You can ask anything, like, how much did I spend on travel last summer? Or can I afford this vacation without touching my savings? That's great. You know, write your own money story with Monarch. Guys. Use code [e-mail] to get your first year of Monarch Core half off at just $50. That's insane. That's $50 off your entire first [e-mail] with code H3. You are going to make money with all the reoccurring payments you're probably going to find hiding in there. Save money. So that's 50% off your first [e-mail] with code H3. Thank you so much to our wonderful sponsor. Please consider supporting them. This is a beloved software. Five stars, millions of customers go check out. What's all the hype? It's Monarch, baby. Let's go, let's go, let's go, Let's go, let's go. All right. Andrew Tate is saying, dead, fetching foam. Yeah. So here's.

[Dan]

So.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow. It's already been day 16. He's in prison. Eh. And apparently he's really like, fuck this time. I don't think. I think it's setting into that. He's. He's toast. Like, this is it. He's being extradited to England. He's being charged with rape and trafficking. And it's just. It's. It's really over for him. I think his only. His only backup plan was that Trump was going to pardon him or something bizarre like that.

[Dan]

But, well, Trump can't pardon him for a crime in England.

[Ethan Klein]

Or. I mean, not. He would deny the extradition request.

[Dan]

Right. I guess that's probably pretty unlikely to

[Ethan Klein]

happen, but he already said he's not going to. Well, then he's.

[Dan]

His word is as good as. As good as gold. Pinky Herman.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, I don't think he promised he would.

[Dan]

No, I'm just saying whatever he said, I mean, it could still. I'm saying it could still happen.

[Ethan Klein]

He could flip.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Ethan, thank you very much.

[Dan]

Change his mind about Things all the time.

[Ethan Klein]

That is a good point.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

That would be a bizarre move though, I have to say. Ethan Klein, day 16.

[Dan]

Well, I do wonder what. What happened. What happened between them?

[Ethan Klein]

Why were they. Were they homies?

[Dan]

Well, not necessarily, Trump, but the tape brothers, they seemed in tight with. With. Not with two of the sons. With Baron, the youngest son, who totally seems like he's just like into the maniverse. Remember there's that photo.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Of him with the Tates and tight pants.

[Ethan Klein]

Yep.

[Dan]

But I believe Tate was also buddies with Don Jr. Really? Yeah. I think they had a relationship.

[Ethan Klein]

I think. I bet you Trump is like, dude, you ruined my son.

[Dan]

I don't think he gets a. About his sons.

[Ethan Klein]

Probably not.

[Dan]

And how would he ruin him?

[Ethan Klein]

Probably. Yeah. I mean, I think Trump probably co Signs.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

A lot of what he teaches, but. Well, he said he's not.

[Dan]

He's the grab him by the pussy guy.

[Hila Klein]

Remember?

[Ethan Klein]

It just seems like an unnecessary, completely unnecessary waste of social credit for him. You know what I mean?

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Nobody.

[Dan]

I don't really expect him to do anything to stop it either, but I'm just. There is still a chance.

[Ethan Klein]

Probably he wires him enough money. Probably.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Kissing my ass. Well, here, let's see how Andrew's doing. Day 16 and special housing unit. This is punitive housing for people who murder their cellmates. Well, I mean, you're also being charged for really, really heinous crimes, buddy. Just because you've been out walking around doesn't mean that you don't belong there. No commissary. No commissary. This dude can't even buy Doritos.

[Dan]

No commissary, yo.

[Ethan Klein]

No bitches. No commissary. No phone calls. No yard time. No. You believe him? No yard time. Well, no phone call. You're tweeting, man. You're tweeting right now.

[Dan]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[Ethan Klein]

Explain that one, bucko.

[Dan]

I could believe the no yard time because I have to imagine this is some sort of holding facility. This isn't like a long term. He's not in prison, he's in jail, you know what I mean? Awaiting extradition. So.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, he's also like a high profile inmates and they usually separate them from general pop so they don't get killed, I guess. Yeah, I can see Andrew Tate getting killed in prison, like genuinely.

[Dan]

Well, anybody can be killed in prison. It's a dangerous place.

[Ethan Klein]

It is, but especially for someone like him who's like a tough guy and then people want to test him, you know what I mean?

[Dan]

Yeah, I could also see him quickly running the place, to be honest, I'm a bottom. You don't think so?

[Ethan Klein]

No. He's way more likely to get stabbed.

[Dan]

All right, fair enough.

[Ethan Klein]

Fair enough. Andrew Tate's not running shit in prison. He's nobody there. Ok, dudes, what the is he going to do? I'm the one getting clapped.

[Dan]

I don't know. He's like, he's a fast talker, you know, He's a con man. He's made his whole career. Like, I feel like he might be able to, you know, do a charisma check.

[Zach]

I feel like you would. You would try and get stabbed very quickly.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Dan]

All right, maybe you guys are right. I don't feel very strongly about this. I just saw a scenario where he organized like a. Like a cult in there.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't think in prison they care about Andrew Tate, you know, I mean,

[Dan]

all right, suck a little bit.

[Ethan Klein]

I could see him, he's, like, already handing over, like, his cookies at lunch.

[Zach]

Yeah, he's probably asking, give me a cookies.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what I mean?

[Dan]

Yeah, maybe. Maybe.

[Ethan Klein]

Are you gonna eat those biscuits, boy? No, no, you can have them. Are you gonna say Tamara?

[Zach]

I just feel like the only thing in there he would fight for. It's like a fresh cup of bubble water.

[Ethan Klein]

Bubble? That's an old school meme, you know,

[Zach]

I don't know if they're bubble water in here.

[Ethan Klein]

Are you serious? Are y' all gay and poor?

[Zach]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

Bubble water in prison.

[Zach]

There's no bubble water.

[Ethan Klein]

Bubble water, sparkling warm. The worst possible conditions the U. S. Government provides to terrorists and psychopaths. Ding, ding. All right, Sounds like you belong. I am innocent until proven guilty, extradition, detainee, whatever. Shut up. Suck it pizza. I mean, you're standing trial, right? That's pretty normal. If you can't. If you're a flight risk, you can't post bail. You definitely are a flight risk. Let's not even try to argue against that. Right? You have the means, you have the money, you have the access to outside. You know, you can fly to Romania or whatever other fucking crazy ass country you have ties to. I am wanted by a foreign state. You mean England?

[Dan]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

This the country.

[Dan]

Which he goes on to say, I am an American citizen. He's also a British.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan]

Can he. You can't reasonably call it a foreign state at that point.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, it's your.

[Dan]

It's your country.

[Ethan Klein]

Wasn't he born in England?

[Dan]

I get confused. He has dual citizenship.

[Ethan Klein]

He lived there long enough to do a Bunch of crimes there.

[Dan]

I believe he was born in the US but he grew up in Great Britain for most of his childhood, I think. That's right. Nothing great. Gallia's confirming. Yes. Born US I was born in the United States. His mom is a British. Was British.

[Ethan Klein]

I've never been to the UK It's a foreign state. Yeah, he acts like he's being deported to Somalia or something.

[Dan]

Yeah, no, he's. He's going back to jolly old England.

[Ethan Klein]

That's the game. What do they call their officers there? That we were goofing. Constables. Oh, but the constable is coning the

[Zach]

constable area until you find out that that's also a thing in the state.

[Ethan Klein]

Not California. Not in any serious state.

[Dan]

It was like 39 of the 50 states had constables.

[Ethan Klein]

Not in any serious states.

[Dan]

There's only, like, nine serious states.

[Ethan Klein]

Constable. What the fuck is that? Nobody says constable in prison. I'm pretty sure you get stabbed for saying constable in prison. Shit. Sounds dumb as hell. Nobody. Nobody's scared of the constable. You know, it makes me think constipated. This is how dumb it sounds. Did you actually say that, or was it sound bite?

[Zach]

I said, got him.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Zach]

You like that?

[Ethan Klein]

Nate thought that was funny. That Ethan couldn't tell was a soundbite. Well, because it had that certain, like. It doesn't matter. Nate, are you gonna play EverQuest? You just gonna keep talking over there in the corner?

[Dan]

What are you talking about? It.

[Ethan Klein]

Talk about Everquest play. I don't got time. Yes, you do. No, I don't.

[Zach]

No, he does.

[Ethan Klein]

What do you. I was playing Splatoon Raiders right now. Exactly. You have time. You have to swap. That's a serious game. Splatoon.

[Dan]

Splatoon. This guy tried to get me to play splatoon. I was like. I didn't even humor. I was like. I'm gonna be honest. I'm definitely not playing that.

[Ethan Klein]

Why the are people hating a splatoon? Look at this.

[Dan]

It looks so dumb.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude, look at this.

[Hila Klein]

It's good.

[Ethan Klein]

You want to see a baby? Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me show big boys. Hold on.

[Dan]

It's game for little kids, Nate.

[Ethan Klein]

Hold on. Standby. You want to see the new Resident Evil? So what do you do? What do you do in that game? This is basically what you do.

[Dan]

You shoot bosses.

[Hila Klein]

It's like.

[Dan]

It's just like EverQuest actually. Really?

[Ethan Klein]

Let me show you Cyprus with paint. Let me show you how fucking dumb this game looks, Alex.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Sick, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

Right? Okay, now let me show you what you could be playing.

[Dan]

This looks fake.

[Ethan Klein]

No, it's not good. Original 1999. The whole squad is there. Bro squad the up. I don't think this is real. You know, on my PVP server there was a ogre only guild. It was so silly. Ogres for ogres, it was called.

[Dan]

I didn't know that. No, started that with. Did you know?

[Ethan Klein]

It was very silly.

[Dan]

I don't know how I could possibly know that.

[Ethan Klein]

Because ogres, they can't be enough classes to be make a useful raid. So it was just very silly. Thank you. Everyone's making fun of Splatoon Raiders. It's fucked up. Listen, if you don't want to be made fun of, play EverQuest.

[Dan]

You should have gif I sent you.

[Ethan Klein]

He continues I'm wanted by a foreign state. Why am I? I'm an American citizen. Why am I here? Now you're asking why am I here? You don't even know why you're there. Where. Where am I? What's happening?

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Dan?

[Ethan Klein]

What are you doing here? Bro probably has a. I forgot the word. What's it called? A prion. He probably has prion disease. Idiot. Mad cow. Loser. Prion? Yeah, it's like a brain. It's like a brain disease.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Prion.

[Ethan Klein]

Prion. Where do you get that from? Like mad cow disease. I just saw a video about it. Extremely rare. Only a few in a million get it, but it's devastating. Like a brain bacteria type. Not even. It's like when one specific protein cell folds the wrong way for some fucking reason and then every other one starts folding the same way and your whole brain just disintegrates. There's no cure. Wow. It's very rare.

[Zach]

It could happen to any of us.

[Ethan Klein]

Kind of. Yeah. A lot of. A lot of them are unexplained. Some of them are like contagious from like mad cow. Some of them are genetic, but the vast majority are totally unexplained.

[Zach]

And how fast does that.

[Ethan Klein]

It could be. So the thing is, it could be inside of you for a long time and you don't know it, but from the time it starts showing symptoms, it's like. Like a month to a year. But it's like a really horrible progressive disease. Man

[Dan]

Laughing

[Ethan Klein]

I'm talking about prion disease and you're laughing.

[Zach]

I was thinking about nothing.

[Ethan Klein]

Were you?

[Dan]

Weren't you studying neuroscience?

[Zach]

Yes. And maybe I laughed through that too.

[Ethan Klein]

Anyway, if you want to go, if you want to miss some sleep, look into prion.

[Dan]

Yeah, I mean, that sounds horrible, man.

[Ethan Klein]

Why'd you bring that up because he has it. Because he's like, where am I? Ah, where am I? He's confused his brain.

[Dan]

Alzheimer's, dementia. You could have gone with any of those.

[Ethan Klein]

He's not old enough for those.

[Dan]

Young people can get dementia.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm pray. I'm praying on the prion. I'm not actually. I prefer he doesn't have it so he could stand trial for his crimes. So I don't. I don't.

[Dan]

Very noble of you.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't. I don't wish prion on anybody. Back to all go on the record with that. So let's see here. Totally.

[Dan]

Yeah. The people with anxiety in the audience are very thankful for you educating them on that.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, there's a new. There's a new YouTube video that just came out about it. It's really interesting. This doctor, he makes a video every month detailing like real medical cases and kind of how they're investigated. Let me show you. He's really cool.

[Dan]

Find out more about prions.

[Ethan Klein]

It's just a really high quality channel that I think I deserves a shout out.

[Zach]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Prion disease science. All right, hold on. Stand back. Standby. Stand back.

[Dan]

Is it Chubby Emu?

[Ethan Klein]

That is not him.

[Dan]

You sure?

[Ethan Klein]

There he is. It is Chubby man. What the. Why is his name Chubby Emu? Yo, you're a doctor, bro. Act serious. Why is your name Chubby Emo? What are you doing?

[Dan]

I mean, that's a Chubby Emu.

[Zach]

Is.

[Dan]

That's kind of cute.

[Ethan Klein]

Anyway, so I'll show you. I highly recommend his channel. It's really good. Two days ago, somebody just super chatted

[Dan]

and wrote, it's prion. Not prion, but like prion. Well, I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

No, you can hear him say.

[Dan]

The thing is, is that you can't really communicate a presentation by just typing the word.

[Zach]

We know it's not prion.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, here's a doctor. He's saying it. Listen.

[Dan]

63 year old woman presenting to the emergency room with hallucination. I don't trust this guy.

[Ethan Klein]

No, he's a doctor. It literally happened to his friend. He's with her in the thumbnail. Listen how scary this is. Watch.

[Dan]

Turned dark. The deck that she was standing on morphed into a tongue as the boat became a demon that swallowed her alive. When it was over, she could sound

[Ethan Klein]

fun to you, Dan?

[Zach]

I don't get it. Reminds me of God of war.

[Dan]

Realized that this was just a hallucination, at least for now. But why did that happen? One month earlier Na was celebrating her 63rd birthday. It was a fun celebration with friends.

[Zach]

Everything was great.

[Dan]

Nothing was out of place.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at this.

[Dan]

Was driving. When suddenly all the cars started driving backwards. They were zooming towards her. She didn't know what was happening.

[Ethan Klein]

She panicked.

[Dan]

She stopped on the side of the road to catch her breath. She could have sworn that she saw something weird.

[Ethan Klein]

But everything looked fine now. She did. That's why he's saying he has prion disease. Because he's like, where am I, idiot. I don't know where. He actually says the word bacteria and

[Dan]

fungi and this is joke.

[Ethan Klein]

Needed a 30 minute explainer video.

[Dan]

He just said it.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, he just said it.

[Dan]

Fungi.

[Zach]

And this is where prions and prions.

[Dan]

I think he's mispronouncing. It's an easy way to solve this.

[Ethan Klein]

He's a doctor man.

[Dan]

Pronunciation.

[Ethan Klein]

You go into the doctor's office and then tell him he's mispronouncing pre.

[Dan]

It's pre on.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Is there the French guy that can say, hey, stop acting like a peon and fudgeing. Listen to me. It's prion. Today we're going to announce the prion. What? Like the French guy?

[Dan]

He's not a.

[Ethan Klein]

He's not French. I don't know what's happening. I don't know what you talk about. I'm going to read another Andrew Tate tweet.

[Dan]

Read the one where he threatens to kill you.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm getting there. I'm getting there. It's. It's a. We're building up to.

[Zach]

He mentions Ethan specifically.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes.

[Zach]

That's so dope.

[Ethan Klein]

He says he wants me to.

[Hila Klein]

He's.

[Ethan Klein]

He's literally gonna. He says he wants to kill me, bro.

[Zach]

He's thinking about you all alone in that cell.

[Ethan Klein]

I know. You thinking about me. Is that true, Little Angie?

[Zach]

Is that true you think about me?

[Dan]

I thought. I figured just knowing you, that it was like he made some vaguely like, threatening thing and you interpreted to be about you.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, why don't you wait and find out then instead of making a fool of yourself and guessing ahead of time?

[Dan]

Okay, yeah, you're right. I shouldn't get ahead of myself. I guess I don't know you that well.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, why don't you find out?

[Zach]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

What do you got prion disease?

[Dan]

I hope not. That seemed horrifying. I don't want to drive backwards. What's the big deal? Really?

[Ethan Klein]

Well, you know, he goes, she was on a boat and then being swallowed by a demon. I was like, oh, big Nick, right?

[Dan]

That's just Big Nick's every afternoon. Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, we have a big. We have a new Big Nick music video, too.

[Dan]

We do.

[Zach]

We.

[Dan]

We do.

[Ethan Klein]

So exciting. My God. There's too much excitement.

[Dan]

A lot of exciting stuff.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God, you guys, really. It's such a good show today. So much fun. Hold on. I need to heal. Can you hit me with clarity, please, Doc?

[Dan]

Yeah, you need some clarity. All right.

[Ethan Klein]

What? Whoa, bro. Why'd you just fucking edge me like that? Oh, my God, bro. I felt that. I did. Oh, yeah, baby. By the way, there's lots of new players in our guild. They confirmed that the level up sound, the ding. Is like straight fucking serotonin crack. Boom. No game is. No game has replicated that.

[Dan]

True.

[Ethan Klein]

Play it again, Zach.

[Dan]

No, don't overdo it.

[Ethan Klein]

Just one more time. No, don't overdo it. What was better? The sound. Does it even make a sound? I even remember it. Yeah, it's way better. It's not that one. What is the sound it makes. I don't remember.

[Dan]

I'm pulling it up.

[Ethan Klein]

It's way better. No, it's not. You're gonna feel it. Oh, my God. That's not better. No, it is. No, that's. That's so generic. It's so like modern. Like that's. Your whole body vibrates, bro. Let's talk about Andrew.

[Hila Klein]

Tape.

[Ethan Klein]

How long we've been going, Dan? That was good.

[Dan]

Three and a half hours.

[Ethan Klein]

I gotta get home to Nora. I'm tired. Sorry. Oh, Nate sent a really good sound. Modern Warfare.

[Dan]

Yeah, that's a great level of sound.

[Zach]

Let's hear it.

[Ethan Klein]

Modern Warfare. Yo, that's dope.

[Zach]

Play that again. Play that again.

[Dan]

That was so over the top than I thought it was going to be.

[Zach]

Yeah. Can we. Can we hear it again, please?

[Ethan Klein]

That was so over the top.

[Dan]

I will.

[Ethan Klein]

Give me a moment to comment on it. Bro, this is a show. I can't just play level up sounds without commenting on it. Play one more time. That's way too long. No, that's so sick, bro.

[Zach]

That was dope. I mean, it depends how often you're leveling up.

[Ethan Klein]

It's distracting if you're. If you're on the battlefield. No, no, no, it's in the.

[Dan]

Dude, you just got a fucking sick kill. Maybe a three piece calling you uav, bro.

[Zach]

Dude, that's so cool.

[Ethan Klein]

Who cares about leveling up in Modern Warfare? Is that even a thing?

[Dan]

Yeah, it is. You get prestige, bro.

[Zach]

You don't get kazum.

[Ethan Klein]

What?

[Dan]

Excuse me?

[Ethan Klein]

Don't say that. She's told that to me this morning. Don't say that anymore. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Don't say that tomorrow.

[Zach]

Because it's such a white woman thing.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know why we don't do that in here.

[Zach]

Well, don't do it.

[Ethan Klein]

We don't yuck yums here. Don't.

[Zach]

Don't do. You were doing it, though.

[Ethan Klein]

Why did you say that?

[Dan]

Well, it's. I like that saying.

[Ethan Klein]

I said it was fun.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Who invented that? Don't yum. My classic saying. Listen.

[Zach]

Thank you, Nate.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm saying I don't like it and I don't want it anymore.

[Zach]

Why does it scare you?

[Ethan Klein]

Doesn't scare me. It sits me. Because he likes yum. Because I don't like. I don't like yuck. And you liked it. All right, let me read this. Let me read this tweet. Thank you, Andrew Tate. In the pitch black of night, somewhere around 3 or 4am don't have a clock. A prisoner calls out through a steel cell door. Does anyone want to talk? Pause. Anyone want to talk? After 30 seconds or so, another prisoner replies. Yo, yo. Hey, man, what you in for? Don't ask me what I'm in for, you broke ass. N word. I asked if you want to talk. N word. Why can't I ask you? We both in jail. N word. Shut up, pussy. N word, I'll kill you. Sounds like they had a conversation in the next 20 minutes, both were screaming death threats at each other at the top of their voices. Eventually, a demonic roar erupted from another cell. I don't know what that sounds like. Wow. Boom, boom, boom. And a death metal shriek. Big Nick comes jaunting in from the. Big Nick appears in my cell. How did he get here? Wow. He turns at me. With his cloudy eye. He says, look upon the world. You've built it. Gaze into my cloudy eye and see your future behind. Really behind the cloud. I realized it wasn't cloud. It was smoke. The inferno. The fires of hell had been burning in that eye.

[Dan]

That's so.

[Hila Klein]

I didn't know that.

[Ethan Klein]

When I looked deeper, I saw myself wandering upon the seventh layer of hell, walking upon the lake of fire. I heard the rattles of all the women I had trafficked. I realized when I looked into that one smoky eye that the demon was me. Wait, hold on. So he. Back to the actual poem here. He says, eventually, a demonic roar erupted from another cell. Play that. That would be scary. A deep and raspy scream coupled with furious bangs on his cell door.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Boom.

[Ethan Klein]

Boom. Where you read this? Part thing. The two original prisoners arguing argued for another minute or so until eventually subsiding to the banging and the roars. I thought this demon just wanted them to stop fighting, but I think they simply woke him up. He continued to roar in bang. For hours.

[Dan]

This is a creative writing exercise. This is so interesting.

[Ethan Klein]

Till the sun rose.

[Dan]

Till the sun rose.

[Ethan Klein]

I was unable to sleep and it was too dark to read, so I can Ed the bricks on the wall. Wow.

[Dan]

That does have.

[Ethan Klein]

This is. This dude knows. He's.

[Dan]

Yeah. That he cooked, you mean.

[Ethan Klein]

It's all right. It's kind of amateur, but I. I appreciate the. The real genuine expression of angst and, you know, he's expressing himself. It's nice. It's nice to see.

[Dan]

It is nice.

[Ethan Klein]

He's looking inward.

[Dan]

Yep. Nowhere else to look.

[Ethan Klein]

Do I think this happened? No. Definitely not. Reading like a beta. He continues better. You don't have much else to do in prison other than read, bro. Read? I thought you said reading was for losers. Dummies. Don't be afraid. Sit there and learn from life instead. So Andrew says I'm way too smart to read books. Whoa. But this is from early in the year. Books are for dummies. Oh, my God. What did you hear? Did you hear about what I read? No, I didn't. Your wife's ugly. Why the are you reading a book? You don't think dudes with hot wives read books? You don't even own a jet. You're poor. Kill yourself. So that was the beginning of the year.

[Zach]

Now.

[Dan]

Oh, we got a fairy. Whatever, dude. Gifted.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

20.

[Ethan Klein]

I saw the fairy.

[Dan]

The little fairy came.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you. Who was it? The Gifties.

[Zach]

Holy poop.

[Ethan Klein]

Holy poop.

[Dan]

Something dudes. Whatever. Dudes with a z.

[Ethan Klein]

Whatever, dude.

[Dan]

Epic spelling like that.

[Ethan Klein]

What is our threshold for the fairy?

[Dan]

I'll look.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you for the gift. 10. 10 gifties.

[Zach]

10 gifted.

[Ethan Klein]

What about a dono? Is there a dono threshold?

[Dan]

A what?

[Ethan Klein]

Like a Super Chat. A Super Chat.

[Dan]

No, it's a. This is just for gifted.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, you're making one for Super Chats.

[Zach]

I'm making one. Yes.

[Dan]

All right.

[Zach]

10 gifted.

[Ethan Klein]

Poop. 10 gifted. Okay. Reading books is for losers who are afraid to learn from life so they try and learn from the life of others. Others have lived. God forbid, humanity have been writing book for thousands of years. Who was it that said books is like the closest thing we have to magic? You can read the. And you can read the internal thoughts of someone that lived thousands of years ago in a book. Who said that? Because this is like the depth of a. Of ignorance.

[Dan]

Stephen King.

[Zach]

Never mind him.

[Ethan Klein]

He said that. That was Stevie.

[Dan]

It was the first thing that popped up.

[Ethan Klein]

We just got another gifty. Dan.

[Dan]

No way.

[Zach]

It was for.

[Ethan Klein]

I missed it.

[Zach]

It was Jen. Jen.

[Dan]

Oh. It was for five.

[Zach]

Six. Six for five.

[Dan]

So it actually. I guess the threshold is fine.

[Zach]

Yay.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you for the gifties.

[Zach]

Holy poop.

[Ethan Klein]

Did holy poop 10.

[Dan]

Holy poop.

[Ethan Klein]

What's the quote? I'm trying to remember, Dan, because it's quite good. What was that quote again?

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Whoa.

[Dan]

Books are a uniquely portable magic is how he.

[Ethan Klein]

That's good. That's not the one I'm thinking of. Read that one. Is that it? Stephen King.

[Dan]

I don't know, man.

[Ethan Klein]

Just read the whole quote.

[Dan]

I'm bored.

[Ethan Klein]

You want to go home?

[Zach]

Sure.

[Dan]

I couldn't find the exact quote. I just kept finding, like, excerpts, so. Oh, what was that one? I couldn't read that name. It was.

[Zach]

I think it used to be tsrv.

[Ethan Klein]

I think it's be on screen a little bit longer because we keep missing it.

[Dan]

Well, I can just see it right here. Yeah, it's GTSRV for 10 gifted podcast memberships. We gotta name the fairy.

[Zach]

It's the H3 fairy with the fat tits.

[Dan]

Okay, that's not a name, and that's very objectifying and misogynistic.

[Zach]

I made her so I can do that.

[Dan]

Tits are fun.

[Zach]

I don't know. Look. And she's actually right here.

[Ethan Klein]

Tits are fun.

[Dan]

Oh, there she is. Oh, and she's on screen again. Whatever, dude. Another 20.

[Zach]

Yay.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah. Carl Sagan. It was Carl. Carl Sagan quote. Of course it was Carl Sagan.

[Zach]

Okay, thank you, Addison.

[Ethan Klein]

But one glance at it and you're inside the mind of another person. Maybe somebody that's been dead for thousands of years. Books break the shackles of time. Why are you not.

[Dan]

Addison, thank you for the five.

[Ethan Klein]

Cha cha. BT is my life up right now? Rip in chat. Oh, here. Across the millennia.

[Dan]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

An author speaking clearly and silently inside your head directly to you. It says, I can't reproduce the entire copyrighted passage, but here's the center line. Shut up, dude.

[Hila Klein]

This is.

[Dan]

I was running into similar issues. So since what I said I was bored and I give up.

[Ethan Klein]

It becomes less useful by the day.

[Dan]

Yeah, I'll give you a quick.

[Ethan Klein]

It literally said. I don't know. Google it. I'll give you a quick one.

[Dan]

The tesseract has the space stone in it.

[Ethan Klein]

Did you know that?

[Dan]

I guess it's good that it's not producing copyright contact, though, like we should be.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, how long is that?

[Dan]

About that, right?

[Ethan Klein]

Kind of cool, huh? Just creating more work.

[Hila Klein]

The car.

[Dan]

The Carl Sagan estate deserves your money.

[Ethan Klein]

Nobody's buying the book just so that they can get this one quote.

[Dan]

That's exactly. That's the problem with the modern publishing industry.

[Ethan Klein]

Here we go. But you never really learn unless you lived it. You must feel it to believe it. Books are a total waste of time. Education is for cowards. I mean, that's obviously like.

[Dan]

I mean, he's been doing that forever.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, he's fucking rapid.

[Dan]

That's his whole, like, thing.

[Ethan Klein]

But the guy has a point, though, because you really have nothing to do about reading prison. So. Yeah. Oh, but no, I mean, that's a good response to his poem. It's like, what do you want me to read that, bro? Who cares? What are you, gay?

[Dan]

Big John Six with the five memberships.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you, Big John. Thank you. Love that about you.

[Hila Klein]

Oh, no.

[Ethan Klein]

Nuclear levels of another Ne Neo girl.

[Dan]

3319 gifted 5.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you so much. Shout out to the fairy and the neato girl.

[Dan]

Oh, that's a. Nobody suggested Titiana for the. Oh, you're. She's saying. Absolutely not.

[Zach]

That's objectifying.

[Dan]

Her tits are fun. You've literally called her the big boob fairy.

[Zach]

I'm uncomfortable with the audience objectifying.

[Ethan Klein]

What about buxom?

[Zach]

That's. What is that. That sounds nice.

[Dan]

Here's edge girl. Thank you for the gift.

[Ethan Klein]

It literally means someone with big tits.

[Zach]

I'm not into that. Then

[Ethan Klein]

you never heard of a buxom. A buxom lady.

[Dan]

Buxom.

[Zach]

She kind of. She could be like a Beth.

[Dan]

Just the. The name Beth. Like Elizabeth.

[Zach]

That's. What. What about Bethany?

[Dan]

Bethany and Beth are just nicknames for Elizabeth here.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen, Buxom, you liked it. It means having a full, plump, healthy body shape. Often used describe women with large.

[Zach]

No, I don't like that anymore. I'm sorry.

[Ethan Klein]

You liked it when you first heard it.

[Zach]

I guess. You know, she's. I guess I need. Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Showing every time I see that fairy.

[Dan]

Juggiana, people.

[Zach]

Juggiana. That's pretty funny.

[Dan]

Oh, she likes that one.

[Ethan Klein]

Someone put Jugga Jane. I do like Jane.

[Hila Klein]

She pulls out her breasts.

[Ethan Klein]

I gotta be honest.

[Hila Klein]

Juggling them.

[Ethan Klein]

When I. When I see her, though, I don't think like, oh, there's a big tittied fairy. Like, it looks normal.

[Hila Klein]

I look like she about to fall over.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know if that. If you're going for that.

[Hila Klein]

Then she bends over and pulls down her pennies.

[Ethan Klein]

That's crazy. I don't remember seeing that.

[Hila Klein]

Spreads her cheeks. I'm not lying.

[Ethan Klein]

The hell kind of stop motion did you make? It's perverse. Okay, so here's Andrew.

[Dan]

That's the one where he threatens you.

[Ethan Klein]

Work. That's the last one. Me. One day, you will all be glad this happened. Tristan, everyone knows we're innocent. We went down as heroes.

[Zach]

Juggabell. That's perfect. Sorry.

[Ethan Klein]

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

[Dan]

Try not to interrupt so much tomorrow.

[Ethan Klein]

This man's fucking life. Excuse me. This man's life.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Dan]

No, his life is in shambles.

[Ethan Klein]

This is his moment. This is slam poetry. Play the NOIR MUSIC.

[Dan]

Nick Boris, 81. Thank you. For the five members.

[Zach]

Ganon's on a roll today.

[Ethan Klein]

Please hold the subby donos until I'm done with the slam poetry and slammer poetry, more like.

[Dan]

Pretty good, dude.

[Ethan Klein]

Pretty good.

[Zach]

Took me a second. It took me a second.

[Dan]

Yeah, this

[Ethan Klein]

dude. I requested the best.

[Dan]

Stop.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, I'll start over. I'll start over.

[Dan]

Zach, you think. You think you're helping, but it's not. It's actually extending how long we are.

[Ethan Klein]

No, he's not. No, he knows he's not helping. He's just making. He's just playing fun somebody.

[Dan]

No, he's trying to play it to trigger your. And I don't know what you're talking about. So that you want to wrap up the show.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, that's not worked.

[Dan]

That's what I'm saying is that if anything, it's like, slowing things down.

[Hila Klein]

I don't.

[Dan]

I having the opposite. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay. All right, well, hypothetically.

[Ethan Klein]

You think I'm that easy to manipulate a complicated, beautiful mind up here?

[Hila Klein]

Not at all, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

You think I could just. You could just reverse engineer this? No, bro, I can't. You can't? I can't. You can't.

[Dan]

I can't.

[Ethan Klein]

You can't. All right, I'm gonna read Tate me one day. We'll all be glad this happened. Tristan. Everyone knows we're innocent. We went down as heroes. More importantly, we went down together.

[Dan]

Thank you, Rainbow Bright for the five gift. Sorry.

[Hila Klein]

The fairy.

[Dan]

You might want to. You probably should start over. Barry was flying on the screen, so I just. I had to shout them out.

[Ethan Klein]

More importantly, we went down together.

[Dan]

You start from the top? No, I kind of lost my place.

[Ethan Klein]

No. Best thing ever. I'm already glad it happened. Don't ever try to reassure me again. Oh, my God, bro. This is pathetic.

[Dan]

What is?

[Zach]

Tristan said all that to him.

[Ethan Klein]

Then I slapped Tristan in the face and called him gay.

[Hila Klein]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

Are you trying to fuck me, brother?

[Dan]

I was with Tristan Tate, and we were drinking. Yeah, we were drinking. And, like, I was. It was crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

He wasn't even with Andrew. He was. He was gushing over Tristan. Everyone has access to Tristan.

[Dan]

Yeah, Nobody cares about him. Imagine being Tristan Tate.

[Zach]

God, he has that cool hat arc going for him. You know what I'm talking about?

[Dan]

I do know what you're talking about. And I guess that. I mean, that was one of the only memorable things he's ever done.

[Zach]

The only member. That's the only thing I remember about him.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, he tweeted. Now he's tweeting about Epstein. Let's see. I'm famous and accused of sex crimes, but I'm not on the Epstein list.

[Dan]

Bro, do we think every criminal, every sex criminal ever has to be on the Epstein list?

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you to Christine Elena for five gimpies. Thank you. I love that.

[Dan]

Thank you, Christine.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. So if you're not on the Epstein list, you're innocent. Like, what are we doing here?

[Dan]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Ethan Klein]

Also, he's. I think he's too young to be involved in all that.

[Dan]

And not rich enough.

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, he says. Okay, so this is proof he was framed. Apparently. Go ahead, Zach. I need that noir music really makes it. I'm famous and accused of sex crimes, but I'm not on the Epstein list because I'm. I'm being framed. They all walk free. I sit in jail. This motherfucker is sending poetry to his lawyer to tweet for him.

[Dan]

I sent in jail.

[Ethan Klein]

This is literally. You know why the lighting's so bad? Because he's in solitary.

[Zach]

Wait, they. They. Dan, they must. They give you a. Like, a paper and some pencils or crayons in there.

[Ethan Klein]

This isn't Olive Garden.

[Zach]

So do you. Do you think.

[Dan]

And Nina Psycho for 20.

[Hila Klein]

Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

For the gifted.

[Zach]

Is he just. Remember, he just keeping these in here, or does he have something to write on?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach]

I mean, it's a serious question.

[Ethan Klein]

He probably does. He probably has a notepad. Yeah, they're probably allowed to write and read.

[Zach]

Writes poetry all day.

[Ethan Klein]

My heart breaks. Another poem for Andrew Tate. This is so fun. We're just making fun of him and he's. His life is ruined, bro. It's awesome. Locked away as a political prisoner. No, you're wanted for rape, bro. What do you mean, political prisoner?

[Dan]

I Mean, he's. Yeah, he knows all of this.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Dan]

You know what I mean? Like, he's just obviously trying to manipulate his audience. And that's kind of what I was saying earlier. Again, I can absolutely see it going the other way too, where, you know, I don't want to say he gets killed in prison, but he has a rough time in prison.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, he's having a rough time, buddy?

[Dan]

Yeah, he's having a rough time, but, yeah, I don't know. I could see him, like, selling courses from a jail cell.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what I can see? You know what I can see?

[Dan]

How to maximize your income at the license plate factory or whatever, you know?

[Ethan Klein]

You know what I can see? This is what I see in his.

[Dan]

Okay, that's really dark. It's quite dark.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo, by the way, genuinely, this is one of the weirdest things ever. What the. Is this cell? Well, he's dead, so

[Dan]

what's so weird about it?

[Zach]

Where's the one about you, Ethan?

[Ethan Klein]

I'm. Guys, I told you at the. At the end.

[Dan]

Oh, okay. Just that I see we're approaching the end.

[Ethan Klein]

No, we're not. We still have. Yeah, we're approaching the end.

[Dan]

Thank you for the five gifted. Gonna do that every time.

[Ethan Klein]

If you don't mind, Andrew.

[Zach]

He wishes he could be with someone like Juggabell. He could never, though.

[Ethan Klein]

Did someone say Titter Bell at all or was it Juggabell?

[Zach]

I. I per. Listen, I've given her to you guys, so you.

[Dan]

She doesn't. She didn't like the tip.

[Zach]

You can objectify her.

[Dan]

She likes.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't actually mind Juggernaut.

[Zach]

I like Juggabell.

[Ethan Klein]

Tit King Tinder Bell is in a. Because you're calling.

[Dan]

A juggle isn't a Jezebel, like, promiscuous? No, it's a fucking slut demon.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, we learned that recently from big names. We learned it from big name. Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Russia gave 20, by the way. Way, wow.

[Zach]

Who.

[Dan]

Sriracha. Sriracha. Good. Thank you. For the 20 gifted

[Ethan Klein]

unironically. Thank you guys so much. It's so generous, all the gifties. Thank you, guys. Here's another one. The energy of prison cells. Cells are small rooms hypercharged with negative energy. This is the plot to Persona 5, full grown man.

[Dan]

Did you play that?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I played it a lot about a while ago.

[Dan]

I don't think I knew that you played that game.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Cells are small rooms hypercharged with negative energy. Don't do it, Dan. Don't read it. Let Me finish this poem.

[Dan]

Mindy78 coming at you with a five gifted. I shouldn't be doing that. The whole point of the fairy was to not interrupt the show.

[Zach]

I know. People are going to start being like, we got to stop that.

[Dan]

It's a. You know, it's just a gag. I'll stop, I'll stop. I won't do it anymore.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, to me, it's just like when. If I was reading, like, Robert Frost's finest work, would you be interrupting it with Tit McGee the fairy? No.

[Dan]

He used a lot of long pauses, an unusual structure to break up.

[Ethan Klein]

Would you. Would you interrupt T.S. elliot?

[Dan]

Not T.S. eliot? How about a no, but Robert Frost,

[Ethan Klein]

but don't interrupt Andrew Tate. Then how about E.B.

[Hila Klein]

cummings?

[Ethan Klein]

I'm gonna come all over you.

[Zach]

Oh, my God, Zach, Run for your life.

[Dan]

For sure. You could interrupt E.B.

[Ethan Klein]

cummings.

[Dan]

He would have, like. He would have, like, a whole page blank, you know, so you could just like, insert, like an ad read mid roll right there.

[Ethan Klein]

Or a load. Or a load.

[Zach]

Insert. Load here.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, it's a. Create your own adventure book. Like Mad Lib blank page point. You do a tribute to your favorite Keemstar photograph. All right, I'm gonna read this now.

[Dan]

You didn't think Block chicken, by the way.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you. Block chicken. What do you donate?

[Dan]

5.

[Ethan Klein]

Thanks. Thanks for the 5 gifting. Those are the brothers doing the.

[Zach]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Love them.

[Dan]

Oh, dude,

[Ethan Klein]

that's good. All right, all right. Enough, Enough. Cells are the center of every nuclei.

[Dan]

Cells within cells.

[Ethan Klein]

Cells are small rooms hypercharged with negative energy. Full grown men crying tears after murdering their wives. Suicides in the middle of the night. Takes constant chi to repel the spiritual attacks. Thinks it's in an anime. No, you're in prison.

[Zach]

What's chi? Yeah, what's chi?

[Ethan Klein]

Chi? Yeah, like Eastern chakra. Yeah, chakra body energy.

[Dan]

It's what. It's what Goku uses to fire a Kamehameha beam from his hands.

[Ethan Klein]

Hey, guys, are you try. I'm just curious. Do you want to make something that people can watch?

[Dan]

Spooky Kabuki. Thank you for the 5K.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, the idea is that people can watch and listen to this, right?

[Zach]

Oh,

[Dan]

Greg Gook.

[Ethan Klein]

So they use a key in Dragon Ball Z, not K I.

[Dan]

Different spelling and pronunciation. It's the same concept, right?

[Ethan Klein]

His dad's ghost in the cell. All right, this, I believe, is a Shakespearean sonnet written in the, ooh, Iamic pentameter.

[Hila Klein]

Ooh,

[Dan]

I love a pentameter. A pentameter. If you will.

[Ethan Klein]

We walked back and forth in the cell together all day long. I haven't heard him so clearly. He's been in here since the day I arrived.

[Zach]

There she comes.

[Ethan Klein]

Dad tells me to never give up.

[Dan]

Ichu. Thank you for the five gifted. I wait until the end.

[Zach]

I wait for.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude is literally seeing his dead dad in prison. Daddy.

[Hila Klein]

Papa.

[Ethan Klein]

Papa.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Please.

[Ethan Klein]

Papa. I'm sorry.

[Dan]

Save me.

[Zach]

Daddy.

[Ethan Klein]

Where is my daddy?

[Zach]

Daddy, are you in the chat?

[Ethan Klein]

Daddy, would you please hold me like you did when I was a boy? It's actually sad.

[Dan]

I think the.

[Ethan Klein]

That's actually really sad.

[Dan]

I think the account is that his dad was terrible.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Horrible absent father.

[Zach]

That doesn't surprise me even remotely.

[Ethan Klein]

And then the mom, who is a single mom, by the way, who like. You know how single moms, they do. They give everything to raise these kids. And now he's writing poems to his dad, Right?

[Zach]

Mommy, what the hell?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, what the fuck did your dad do for you? Other than lifetime trauma? You're probably in jail because your dad fucked you up so bad.

[Zach]

You said. Now you're sounding argument like. I mean, Big Nick and that guy saying that one thing.

[Ethan Klein]

Huh?

[Dan]

You're gonna have to be way more clear than that.

[Zach]

When about how they're not stupid.

[Dan]

Oh, they're dumb. They're dumb.

[Hila Klein]

Blonde.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, you think he was just blonde? You've probably been molesting that like, that

[Zach]

kind of logic, right? Thank you so much. Sweet victory.

[Ethan Klein]

Andrew Tate in prison. Be like, papa, Papa, are you there? Hold me like you did when I was a child. Would you teach me how to ride a bike? Papa, Papa, would you tuck me in? Tell me a story, Papa, please. It actually makes me sad as a father of kids. Like, if Papa actually loved him. I mean, honestly.

[Hila Klein]

Yo.

[Dan]

Seymour Cox, gifted five. I. I had to read that one. Seymour Cox. Come on.

[Zach]

You should say something. You should. Do you have any words? If Andrew could see this as a father.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, I'll say this. He's gonna be seeing some more cocks where he is at. You know what I mean?

[Dan]

You making a joke about prison? Rape?

[Ethan Klein]

No showers.

[Zach]

That's so dark.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, I didn't make.

[Zach]

Yeah, I don't know why you would say that.

[Dan]

I'm a bomb.

[Ethan Klein]

They shower nature together. What do you mean? He's definitely gonna see more. I mean, that's not even like, questionable. That's like. He's probably gonna see all day and night in prison because it's just the bullies. Literally. Andrew falling in love. Andrew falling in love and finding a conjugal moment. Go ahead with the conjugal moment. Here's Andrew and his new lover in prison. He's never experienced love like this before. Pleasure like this before. I've never known. Known. I've wasted my whole life having sex with women on the outside. But I had to come to prison to find true love. The irony is I had to be locked up in a prison to find the freedom of loving another man.

[Zach]

Can you imagine a guard walking by his cell, they hear these sounds.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Zach]

Making these sounds from just masturbating. He's justly masturbating.

[Ethan Klein]

I finally achieved happiness here in prison. I can love another man, Papa. I don't. I no longer have to hide my heart here in prison. Papa. It's just us boys. Would you like to hear me loving my new. My new boyfriend? Papa,

[Hila Klein]

stop.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God. Just dudes. Just two bros exercising in the garage.

[Zach]

What do you mean the sound of

[Ethan Klein]

the sound of ecstasy? I've never known ecstasy before. I've gone to prison, Papa. I've never achieved these heights of pleasure before. I've only scream up to the clouds.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Holy. Holy.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah,

[Zach]

no, that one's messed up. I don't like that one.

[Ethan Klein]

I scream up to the gods. Hear my pleasure. Never known pleasure before. I realize I've never known love or pride. Pleasure before. All right, all right, rewrite my poem. The cells were filled with the moans of ecstasy and pleasure. We all loved each other here. And we made love to each. Never come quite that hard before. Oh, man, I'm glad he's actually. He seems like he's doing. Yeah, I mean, like, it's ironic, right? He. He's locked up, but he's found freedom in a sense.

[Zach]

When did he say that? Play it again, Z. Oh, okay, I see.

[Ethan Klein]

What do you mean, when did he say that? Excuse me. No, that's the wrong song. There we go. Yeah. What do you mean, when did he say that? Oh, my God. That is so graphic. All right, all right, all right.

[Zach]

Sounds like he's had enough.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, now, next up, we have the death threats. Comes after this part with his attorney.

[Dan]

Oh, boy. Wait, it's coming after the. So did the attorney send you a death threat?

[Ethan Klein]

No, it's Andrew, but I saved it till the end because there's no skipping allowed. Watch through the end because there's surprises throughout.

[Dan]

Usually you're not able to hold surprises back. Famously.

[Ethan Klein]

You famously?

[Dan]

Yeah. I mean, if you have something exciting you like, can't help yourself, and you have to.

[Ethan Klein]

I currently am holding an exciting announcement Right now. You know exactly what it is. You know what it is.

[Zach]

Is it changed, man.

[Dan]

Dan, that is true.

[Ethan Klein]

We have an incredibly exciting announcement.

[Zach]

Oh, God.

[Dan]

You only haven't been able to hold back because you haven't thought of it.

[Zach]

Great.

[Ethan Klein]

No, I'm not gonna say it now.

[Dan]

Look at you.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm not gonna say.

[Zach]

Is it what I'm thinking of?

[Ethan Klein]

I think we all think in it. What do you think?

[Zach]

That is very exciting.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll type it in.

[Zach]

And we're all holding it. That is the most exciting thing since I've been here. And we're all holding it in here.

[Ethan Klein]

I wrote it in.

[Zach]

Okay. Oh, that would be.

[Ethan Klein]

I think we're all thinking the same thing. I wrote I'm getting breast implants. But that's not actually it. You don't gotta type it. Yeah, I know. We all know. We all know.

[Zach]

Yeah, we know, obviously. Why'd you even type it?

[Dan]

Look how caught up.

[Ethan Klein]

Dan said I can't do it. So I'm just saying I can't do it. Prove him wrong.

[Zach]

You're just playing into his bullying.

[Ethan Klein]

Dan's bullying me?

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Dan, are you bullying me?

[Dan]

I'm not trying to. Sometimes some people just. They just attract the bullying.

[Ethan Klein]

Dan just likes bullying. Some people are just.

[Zach]

Especially when he's got the hat backwards. You know, some shit is about to go down.

[Ethan Klein]

That's not Dan. That's Duff.

[Zach]

That's Baby Bold.

[Ethan Klein]

That's Du. Here comes Duff the Bully.

[Hila Klein]

Baby Bold.

[Zach]

You didn't wear your shirt, Dan.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, enough, guys. Can we please stay on point here?

[Zach]

That's not Dan. That's Dean.

[Ethan Klein]

I need to go to the bathroom.

[Zach]

Okay, Goodbye.

[Dan]

He just said, bro's got a laptop set up.

[Hila Klein]

He's going to play.

[Ethan Klein]

He's going to play everybody.

[Zach]

He's like, fuck it.

[Hila Klein]

No,

[Zach]

He's gonna set up that. It's gonna set up that little desk from David's station in the bathroom.

[Dan]

All right, let me. Let me thank some of these people that have been donating while we wait for Ethan to get back. What's today? August 3rd. Here we go. Shout out to the FUPA troopers I met in manga library at Otakon this weekend. Hope you made it home safely. Okay, this is just like a lost connections type thing. The manga library at Otacon. Okay. I don't know what that is. Maybe it's like a convention or something. Well, hope you had fun. Hope you had a lot of fun. Can I get a shout out from my father in law? We watched the podcast on a Road trip this past weekend. He seemed to enjoy the show and even said that Ethan has the gift of gab. Wow. Aw, so true. That's from Danny Lopez. Thank you very much. To connect with your father in law a little bit. Shout out to John. Shout out to John. Danger said, if you or a loved one are dealing with cancer, ask your doctor about molecular residual disease tests. That sounds like a signetera. Sequences DNA of the tumor, searches that DNA in your blood, gives knowledge of remission and recurrence, and informs treatment. Why does this straight up reads like the disclaimer at the end of it?

[Ethan Klein]

It does if you've been experiencing diarrhea.

[Dan]

I thought it was heading towards a joke.

[Ethan Klein]

Red flag face.

[Dan]

Call your dad.

[Zach]

I know it sounded like a commercial.

[Dan]

Yeah, that was straight up a commercial. But I mean, I guess good information that's from danger and danger knows a thing or two about danger. So shout out. One white child said, phase up. And shout out Dan for gearing me up this weekend. Phase up, my friend, always. Always and forever. BoxOfDemons said, this guild has been super fun so far. Dan, crowning my character Frag as king of the Frogs is such an honor. Okay, so this worked out really fucking well. The dude who screenshotted Ethan cheating and drinking those potions, his name is Frag. Right? So he wound up in the Guild. And when I played all day on Saturday, I had a ton of, like, extra stuff. And there was a bunch of these people that are just trying out the game for the first time in the fan base. So I said, who. Who's a newbie and, like, wants some gear? I mean, I'm giving out free stuff. And so a bunch of people came and met up with me and I was handing out all this stuff. And then lo and behold, Frag is there. And Frag is a frog like me. He's a frog lock. So I see him and I write. I'm like, yo, it's the legend Frag. You're the one who. Who fucking screen capped Ethan. I gotta give you something. I go into my bag and I have an item called Crown of the Froglock King. And I'm like, I got the perfect thing for you.

[Zach]

That's epic. You didn't want it for yourself.

[Dan]

No, he's the king. He's the one that got Ethan. You know what I mean? So a crown for a king. Shout out to Frag. Keep doing what you're doing.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow.

[Dan]

Fleck says, can I get a guild invite? My game, my in game name is Fleck. I Tried doing backslash. Who on slow verge not and everyone else I could think of, but it always came back with no results. You have to do backslash. Who all little little trick for you. Who only searches your the zone that you're currently in if you do who space all searches the whole server. But I'm sure I'll be on this evening, so if you're around, just shoot me a message. I'll invite you. Snorkel said. Sorry to hear about the credible death threats to Ethan. If you need it, I know a licensed financial advisor who might be able to help. A licensed financial advisor, huh? Not sure how they're gonna help. Not sure how they're gonna help. Tyler van Sant sent $20 and. And no message, so I don't know if that was a mistake, but thank you. Thank you for that. Jonah said Ashran's call is better than everquest. Well, where's the classic Ashran's call server then, huh? Oh, it doesn't exist because nobody gives a about that game. Sorry. I remember I got that game. I wanted to try it out when I was a kid and it wouldn't run on my computer. This was in like probably year 2000. So that game, that game. Tom de Ripper says bro hates on Fallout but talks big on a game that has characters made with two pixels. Crazy work, dude. Tom Derippa is. He's triggered. When did Ethan.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I was confused by that.

[Dan]

He ever shit off? I don't really. I don't recall that either. I guess we can ask when he gets back if he's got some beef and Fallout.

[Ethan Klein]

Unless he means the OG Fallout.

[Dan]

Did he mean the. Did he maybe not like the show. Talking about the show.

[Ethan Klein]

Sounds good.

[Dan]

Well, when he gets back, we'll find out. Habanero Sriracha said hello, y'.

[Zach]

All.

[Dan]

I literally just screwed with Microsoft scammers to the point where they block me from calling them. Kip Boga taught me well. Very nice. You're doing a public service with that. Please shout out for my girlfriend, Alexis. She's such, such a big fan of the show and absolutely loves you guys. That's from Matt B. Will I be happy and honored to shout out Alexis? And here I am doing that right right now.

[Ethan Klein]

Shout out Scubal Bro.

[Dan]

Is that the pitcher from Detroit?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, dude.

[Dan]

Shout out Scubal Shout out.

[Ethan Klein]

Ruining baseball. One trade at a time, baby.

[Dan]

Yeah, sorry about that. Everyone else that cares about baseball other than the Dodgers, sorry about that. Greetings from Colombia. You guys need a Spanish speaking correspondent? You can't Imagine how much you miss from down here. Sending love to you all. That's from NAT cnn. I mean we. We do have a Spanish speaking employee. I guess he's not correspondent though, is he?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, you gotta. You guys want to send me down there for a bit?

[Dan]

Colombia.

[Hila Klein]

Oh, Colombia.

[Ethan Klein]

Nah, I don't want to go there.

[Hila Klein]

Why?

[Ethan Klein]

I just want to go to Oaxaca.

[Dan]

What's. Hold on. What's the problem with Colombia?

[Hila Klein]

Nothing.

[Ethan Klein]

I just want to go to Oaxaca.

[Dan]

Cuz you're from there?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. This is a family.

[Dan]

Correspond a bit and then go back. Correspond. Nice shame. Okay, fair. Enter Chazban said. Zach, can I please hear Ninya yell? It sues me. Shout out to Ninja. Congrats again on the little ninja. The Ninjito. Splatoon Mogs the out of Everquest Nate gang rise up and tell Dan and Ethan they could go up with peace and love. I can't deal with any more lady bears. Dan. For real? For real. Well, that's on you. You just told the bald man to go up. I know you tried to pass that responsibility on to Nate, but it doesn't work like that. God is all knowing, but everyone should play Splatoon Raiders. Harley was triggered by us talking on Splatoon and he sent in the our group chat. He said. I thought Splatoon looked like an absolute dumbest game ever. Slept on it until Splatoon 2. It's so much better than you can imagine though. Swear on my life it's true.

[Ethan Klein]

Look, I've been playing Splatoon since Platoon 1 in 2014 on the Wii U, bro. I was probably the only guy playing it.

[Dan]

God's Platoon two, God's Platoon three and then Raiders smacks. Very nice, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

Where did Ethan go?

[Dan]

Yeah, is he online? He said he needed to pee and he's been gone for like 10 minutes. Can you see if he's online, like in EverQuest? You really think he might be doing that?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, well, he just said something about Steam Deck and Everquest so he could be fooling us.

[Dan]

God. I mean, I can message him. Where the fuck you at? All right. That's all I can really do. Gingersnap said sending this to Dan. Thanks for being a level headed normal person on the crew w. Dan. There's more. I'm not the only normal person that was backhanded. Yeah, that feels like an insult to the rest of the crew. Yeah, the hell? I mean, Love's pretty level headed.

[Ethan Klein]

I thought so,

[Zach]

I guess.

[Ethan Klein]

No, that's it.

[Dan]

That's the only purse.

[Ethan Klein]

I just Love.

[Dan]

Shout out from puke in Freeport says Technorton. Okay. Shout out. Shout out to puke. Are you saying that's your name? Because that's a pretty. That's a good one. Nocturnal donated and said. I wrote tter bell earlier. Don't take this from me. It's a bid taken. I'm sorry. Tamara made the fairy and she hated the titter bell suggestion.

[Zach]

I don't know what to say. I feel like I'm not into the.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, there's one tit and then.

[Zach]

I'm sorry.

[Ethan Klein]

Hate the word tit.

[Zach]

I. I'm not crazy. Like, you know, like, tits.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, that is kind of a guy thing, right? Saying tits.

[Dan]

Tits are fun.

[Zach]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dan]

Tamara's a jug girl.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Dan]

She's all about jokes.

[Zach]

Thank you, Dan. You really understand me.

[Dan]

She plays in a jug band.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes, I do.

[Zach]

I don't know what that sound indicates, but yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Chug jug.

[Dan]

Oh, it's the chug jug sound.

[Ethan Klein]

Chug jug.

[Zach]

Oh, I like this poll. Who. Who did that?

[Ethan Klein]

David?

[Dan]

Let's see. What is the poll?

[Ethan Klein]

Hi.

[Dan]

I didn't do a poll.

[Ethan Klein]

Did I hear David? Am I tripping?

[Dan]

Should. Oh, I do like this poll. Oh, hey, there's an important poll that you should see.

[Zach]

Love. Did you do that?

[Ethan Klein]

No, I don't know what you're talking about.

[Zach]

What?

[Dan]

Somebody made a poll?

[Ethan Klein]

I wouldn't know.

[Dan]

I don't know how to do Pulse. Okay, well, that's a lie. So that makes me think you did do it.

[Ethan Klein]

What's the poll, guys?

[Dan]

The poll says, should Ethan order boba for the crew?

[Zach]

What's the topic?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, probably says no, right?

[Zach]

Let's see.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what?

[Dan]

It's overwhelmingly.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes. You know what it says?

[Zach]

It's 91%. Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, yeah. Everybody loves spending my money. Well, I didn't listen to Big Nick. Imagine every one of those is a little boba at the bottom of the cup of your cup. So it's a Big Nick boba. That was a fan suggestion.

[Zach]

Are we doing that, Ethan? Because I was just about to place a different order. But if we're doing the boba for everybody.

[Ethan Klein]

You guys want coffee? Because we're just gonna order coffee. Do you want La Higantes? I prefer coffee.

[Zach]

And you guys want Olivia's blended coffee special. That's what I was about to.

[Ethan Klein]

This is the caramel one.

[Zach]

It's. I think it's vanilla blended.

[Ethan Klein]

Is that what you're getting me? Yeah, I prefer mocha, no offense. Olive. A little too white for me.

[Zach]

That's where you Draw the line.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, I'm more of a. I don't

[Zach]

know if they even have them.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what? You know what a POC is? I'm a doc. Drinks of color, stupid. Well, it's just, you know, I'm more diverse than some. Please, you can laugh.

[Zach]

I know. I wish. I wish I could fake laugh. I wish I could.

[Ethan Klein]

You don't. You shouldn't have to fake laugh. That was quality.

[Zach]

You know what? It was. It was very fun. I think there's just one kind item, so you either get with the program.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, why you're forcing me to get this white ass, fucking colonial ass drink? What's next, bro? You expect me. You want me to go full throated Zionist,

[Zach]

his brain broken?

[Dan]

What happened to the bathroom?

[Ethan Klein]

She. She. She's forcing me to get a white drink. I just want to.

[Zach]

What do you. You don't like the vanilla part?

[Ethan Klein]

No, there's other flavors. I want mocha, bro.

[Zach]

I don't know if they do. I don't see it.

[Ethan Klein]

Of course they do. What place. What place has vanilla and not mocha? That's literally impossible. You know that, right?

[Zach]

They do have mocha. Who's they?

[Ethan Klein]

Of course they do.

[Zach]

That place Olivia gets from the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Oh, they do, okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Of course they do.

[Zach]

Don't yell at your wife.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm just. I'm mad at everybody.

[Zach]

I know, but don't yell at you. I didn't see it.

[Ethan Klein]

The only reason I'm angry right now is because I'm not.

[Zach]

You Want to play EverQuest? I'm telling you, this show is under attack and you guys are not seeing what I'm seeing.

[Ethan Klein]

I like it.

[Zach]

I'm seeing.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm enjoying this.

[Zach]

Okay, love. Do you want a coffee drink or do you want Boba? Because those are separate places. What?

[Ethan Klein]

Just do one, though. We're not. Yeah.

[Zach]

Ethan wants coffee. So do you want coffee?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, is there something like really sweet and caramelly? Yeah, yeah, of course. That's like the whole point. Yeah.

[Zach]

Tamar, do you want to take this mission on?

[Dan]

Oh, thank you.

[Zach]

Okay. I can do.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I'm.

[Dan]

I'm really thankful for this.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you guys want to play or do you just want to order coffee all day?

[Dan]

You on EverQuest now?

[Ethan Klein]

Is that a sound bite?

[Dan]

No, it's me.

[Zach]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

Is that a sound bite? It's not a sound bite. It's me talking. That sounds like a sound bite.

[Dan]

It's literally just me talking. How would it be a soundbite?

[Zach]

It does sound like a sound bite.

[Ethan Klein]

Right. It's so confusing. I don't know if it's Nate or if it's just a sound bite. I don't know. It's Nate. Even there. Is Nate real? Just played zero sound bites. That's the sound bite. That's the sound bite. You would play, Bro, you're stuck. You're done. You don't even. Probably a sound bite. Exactly. Anyway, he sounds pretty cool to me.

[Dan]

That's creepy.

[Ethan Klein]

I told you that ambience is crazy. I haven't made it out of the fucking orc like, oh, you are playing thing.

[Dan]

I'm level five.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah. So I'm farming this. These hill giants. I'm not gonna actually play. I want it. You know what I wanted to do is go to the common lands to say what up to all the guildies out there?

[Dan]

You think they're still there?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, they're all there watching the game right now. I can run there, actually. Hold on. I don't want to run.

[Zach]

Did you open the game right now?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, of course.

[Zach]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, but I'll close it, but Dan has to go say what up to the Guildies.

[Zach]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

Dan is gone.

[Zach]

Where is Dan?

[Ethan Klein]

Only taking a break. Only Zuil is here. We're gonna continue on, and then Dan will go say hi to the homies in East Commons. The whole guild is watching right now. You don't want to say hi to them?

[Zach]

To who?

[Ethan Klein]

To the homies in. In game. The whole guild.

[Zach]

There's more people watching the podcast. They already get you the whole night long.

[Ethan Klein]

But they don't matter. They don't get me enough. All right, moving on to Tate's lawyer. I'll go through these sound bites. Sound these timestamp. Because the whole thing is 37 minutes. So who time stamped this? Probably Kate. Oh, I'm just wondering if it's worth watching. Let me just click it and see what it's like here. Wait, what?

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Andrew and Tristan have been deposed. The wrong.

[Ethan Klein]

What the is this video? He's. It looks like a. Isn't this, like, the fake podcast guy? Oh, it has 2, 000 views.

[Dan]

He's in Mexico.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, this video has 2, 4000 views? That's it. Dude, Andrew is so irrelevant. What? Bro, nobody even knows you exist.

[Zach]

Damn it.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, this guy. He. He's this one of these guys that makes, like, fake podcast clips. Look at this.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Deposed. The wrongful accuser's been Constitution applies to everybody, and it protects all American citizens. Andrew and Tristan have been deposed. The wrongful accuser has been deposed. Other people have been deposed. We were supposed to go on with that process and go to trial in about six months. That, of course, has been delayed because, Sean, if we win that case, and we have a damn good chance that we will. If we do, then the entire.

[Ethan Klein]

God damn it. Every lawyer says we have a good chance of winning. That's when you realize you really. He does not have a damn good chase of winning this. Like, you know, that lawyer's lying against

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Andrew and Tristan blows apart. So the United Kingdom is doing everything it can do to stop that from happening. Ron Desantis had, as we say, egg on his face. He looked like the complete that he is.

[Ethan Klein]

What?

[Zach]

Egg on his face.

[Ethan Klein]

Why'd you call him that, though? Yeah, egg on his face. He got arrested. What do you mean? They got arrested in Florida and. What are you talking about? What egg? Listen, the only egg on face is the one on Andrew's face with his new lover. Hit it, Zach. He's free to be me. He's free to be him. Not me. Him.

[Zach]

Oops.

[Ethan Klein]

That's the sound of egg on the face right there. Boy.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

And had an axe to grind ever since. I've spoken to many people in Washington.

[Dan]

Ron DeSantis is 5 11.

[Ethan Klein]

He's not even. He's, like, completely not short by any metric. How tall is this lawyer? Because he doesn't seem that tall to me. To be. To be saying that about people. Wasn't Ron the one who was wearing those weird shoes? Yes, he was wearing high heel boots.

[Dan]

I don't think they were high heels.

[Ethan Klein]

No, they were. They were.

[Dan]

No, they weren't.

[Ethan Klein]

Look. Look it up. There's a picture.

[Dan]

Are we talking about different things?

[Ethan Klein]

No, no. Desantis had covert high heel boots on. I'm so serious. You're right, love. So serious.

[Zach]

I don't know if I've seen it.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, it was a big thing.

[Hila Klein]

This is it.

[Dan]

This is the image.

[Ethan Klein]

I think that's why he's calling him that, because he's.

[Zach]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

He's lying about his height. Well, so it's like an X ray of. Yeah, look at his. Look at his boot. You see, his foot goes like this. His heel is right there.

[Hila Klein]

Wow.

[Dan]

See that? That is compelling.

[Hila Klein]

That is compelling.

[Ethan Klein]

He's probably, like, five.

[Zach]

But what makes you guys think that there's a huge heel inside. Look.

[Ethan Klein]

There's no other way to explain it.

[Dan]

Look at the way it's. The way the toes are flopped. Like, it doesn't look like.

[Ethan Klein]

This is a clown shoe. It's empty.

[Dan]

Yeah, it's like empty right here.

[Ethan Klein]

And then also here's the heel. Where's his foot? If not, you could see his foot is smashed against the top of it here, right?

[Zach]

Oh, yes.

[Ethan Klein]

So what's.

[Zach]

Oh, yeah. Oh my God.

[Ethan Klein]

No, that's the. That's the only explanation for that.

[Zach]

Whoa.

[Ethan Klein]

So he's probably like 5, 9, 5, 8 maybe.

[Zach]

Whoa.

[Ethan Klein]

I know. Pretty funny, eh?

[Dan]

Where do you even like.

[Zach]

Yeah, where do you even get those? Like a special order boots?

[Ethan Klein]

I think there's. You'd be surprised. There's probably a lot of demand for that. I mean, if I rock clothes, I could be like six too, you know what I mean? Yeehaw.

[Zach]

Oh my God. Now that you said it, I cannot unsee it. Yeah, it looks so awkward.

[Ethan Klein]

His legs probably look sexy as under that, eh?

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow.

[Dan]

Elevator boots, I think are what they're called. Elevator.

[Ethan Klein]

Can I try those? Cuz I'll be so tall.

[Dan]

But yeah, I was kind of wondering if.

[Ethan Klein]

Get me a pair of those, please. Look at these.

[Dan]

Seems so uncomfortable.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at these. Silly ass. Oh, yeah, they have to be incredibly uncomfortable. But this is. You have to be deeply insecure about your height to walk around in the.

[Zach]

Those look so weird now.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I found some Dan.5 5 in taller 5 inches. I'm about to be dunking on people

[Zach]

that's legitimately walking on heels literally so much.

[Ethan Klein]

It seems like most of them are like 2.8 to 3, but the biggest

[Zach]

they have is 5.

[Ethan Klein]

Get me that.

[Dan]

Send me the link to that.

[Ethan Klein]

I need that, dude. Y' all are going to be fucking looking up from now on.

[Dan]

We should all get them, honestly.

[Ethan Klein]

So wait, Potentially, if he's 511 and he has 5 inchers, which is possible. This is a very short man.

[Zach]

Not that there's anything wrong with it.

[Dan]

Maybe Andrew Tate is innocent.

[Ethan Klein]

Good point. It's all goes back to that, see, and in Miami.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

And this guy's fingerprints are all over it. Andrew and Tristan are pawns in a much higher political game. And sure, they're going to serve him up to the uk, but the decision as to whether or not to extradite them, which is a Rubio Trump decision, is what they're trying to force to make it hard, hard for Trump.

[Ethan Klein]

It's the digital social hour, so watch this guy. You've probably seen clips of him. He does not have. Hey, guys. Joseph, this guy does not have a real show by any. Any metric at all. Look.

[Dan]

What do you mean? We're watching show.

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, look at him. We're watching Take it in.

[Dan]

Yeah, it looks like you.

[Zach]

Looks like a regular guy,

[Ethan Klein]

bro. Look at all the in his hair.

[Dan]

It's you. If you had never met Hila.

[Ethan Klein]

No, it's not, bro. Look at all the shit in his hair.

[Dan]

Yeah, that's what you would look like. You'd still be playing everyone's full time.

[Ethan Klein]

I've met this dude at the celebrity poker tournament. This guy? Yeah, he's really nice. He always comes and says hi.

[Dan]

Sean Kelly.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, this guy. I've never seen him there.

[Dan]

You met celebrity podcaster Sean Kelly? You didn't mention it.

[Ethan Klein]

He asked me to be on his show.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

That should tell you just how fast I said yes. That's how low tier that show is. He doesn't even go straight to ab. He's like, yo, dude, you be a huge guest. I'm sorry, I was just. That was rude.

[Dan]

It's so rude.

[Zach]

You've been rude to everybody. I have no problem with his hair. I mean, maybe there's a little bit of.

[Dan]

It's a lot of dandruff.

[Ethan Klein]

He's not flea. He's got lice. I think that's just like, light.

[Zach]

You know what I mean? But I like the haircut.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not a haircut.

[Zach]

It is a haircut.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Yeah.

[Zach]

Love. I think it's.

[Ethan Klein]

I think it's light.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Really?

[Ethan Klein]

When did you see this guy at poker?

[Hila Klein]

Pubic.

[Ethan Klein]

I legit have his number. He's the one that right now call him. No, but his thing.

[Hila Klein]

You don't have to.

[Ethan Klein]

He basically, from what I've seen only exclusively interviews like shit bag.

[Dan]

So that's why invited me.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Does.

[Dan]

Oh, Harley saying. Yeah. He remembers meeting him at that celebrity thing in Vegas.

[Ethan Klein]

He never said hi to me. Well, I'm approachable. You know the guy when me and Harley called in? The dude who, like, masturbated like 10 times a day. Huh?

[Dan]

Do you remember that?

[Ethan Klein]

When we did the call in. When did I call in? Anyways, that guy left the celebrity poker tournament and Sean Kelly's the one who called him back. Just can't stop.

[Dan]

I think you're fucking losing it.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm masturbating right now. Like, look, Adam Carolla. Like, who the fuck wants to take. Talk to Adam Carollo? Holy.

[Dan]

Hey, he's from Loveline.

[Hila Klein]

Dude.

[Ethan Klein]

I know. He turned into, like, such a insane, conservative, crazy ass mega grifter.

[Dan]

Yeah, that. That is a weird one. I mean, maybe it shouldn't have been surprising. I guess it's just the association with Jimble Kimball in My mind from back in the day, they went. They went on very different paths, didn't they?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Anyway, I'm glad he got his lawyer to call in. That's. That's deposed.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

The wrongful accuser's been deposed six months that we. So the United has had the grind.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, guys, Joseph McBride back on the show. We actually had this scheduled for a while now before. Well, I've been trying to get this lawyer and I can't get him to call in. What is.

[Zach]

Maybe you should be friends with it, Sean.

[Ethan Klein]

What's his name? Joe McBride. What does he have that I don't? He asked AB to be on his show. That's not his name, but I just.

[Dan]

Just.

[Zach]

I'll leave it at that.

[Ethan Klein]

But that's not his name. Sean Kelly. Yeah, do that. Like. Yeah. Do you have his number, baby? Will you call him right now? Yeah, like, I want their. I want the lawyer's number.

[Dan]

You again, Joseph.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

It's good to see you, brother. You know, it's good to see you, brother.

[Ethan Klein]

Andrew Tate is going to get free for sure. We have a very strong case

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

to be here. Wish it were under different circumstances.

[Ethan Klein]

That man is bald and proud. Though I will say to his credit, that is a bald, proud man right there beard.

[Zach]

It should apply to the next bald off.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah, he definitely. We thought I'd lose for sure, honestly. He's got a really smooth dome.

[Dan]

Yeah. And it's glistening.

[Ethan Klein]

She had a metal wax that morning.

[Dan]

Was this totally unexpected for you when you got the call about all this?

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Completely unexpected.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah. We had no idea that Andrew was wanted for crimes internationally.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

I've been traveling the world for three years without incident. And every now and again we'll go into a country and they'll have a question about this outstanding tacker warrant, which is a warrant from the European Union. And we explain this.

[Ethan Klein]

You ever heard of the European Union? It's a little country. It's a little continent country. They. They want him for rape. Other than that, we haven't heard of anything.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Situation.

[Dan]

This accent.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what he sounds like.

[Dan]

No, it doesn't.

[Zach]

It's so bad.

[Dan]

You are done doing any place on earth. It's so unique what you're doing. It's actually fascinating.

[Ethan Klein]

Do a poll. I'll do. I'll wait.

[Dan]

What is the poll?

[Ethan Klein]

Is it good?

[Dan]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you like it? Do you like. Don't ask.

[Hila Klein]

Is it good?

[Dan]

That's different.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't ask.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Do you.

[Dan]

Don't ask because I kind of like it. Say, I just don't know what place on earth sounds like that.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you like it?

[Zach]

I think that I need to take Ethan on a trip across America. We gotta.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Zach]

Take away one year off the podcast, but it will be for a good cause.

[Ethan Klein]

I need to take you on a trip around Nora.

[Zach]

A trip around America. And we're gonna. We're gonna really soak in every place. We'll stay for, like, one month in each place.

[Dan]

Wow.

[Zach]

So you'll have, like, so many accents in your head, but you'll really know what you're talking about.

[Ethan Klein]

Let me do the math. Hila. We're gonna travel for a year and spend a month in every place.

[Zach]

Every major. Every major place that has an accent.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. That'd probably be fine.

[Dan]

You could, like, 12 regional accents.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Sure.

[Zach]

There you go.

[Ethan Klein]

How will you play EverQuest? That's obviously why this is not happening. Yeah, Gallia said there's a great moment from this guy's podcast.

[Dan]

All these cows are vaccinated, too. Exactly.

[Ethan Klein]

You also believe he's anti vegetarian?

[Dan]

Yeah, it's very hard to find. Actually, raw, unsalted cheese.

[Zach]

It is.

[Dan]

You got to find that zombie cow, man.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan]

All these cows are vaccinated, too. Exactly.

[Ethan Klein]

This is your guy. This is your guy. The cows are vaccinated. This is your bestie right here. When did I go on? All the cows are vaccinated, bro. That's your fucking homie you are pow wowing with. Fuck it.

[Zach]

When did you guys text last time?

[Dan]

Yeah, that's my guy I'm writing from now. I'm done writing for you.

[Hila Klein]

Shout out.

[Dan]

John Kelly. You just hate him because he's tall.

[Ethan Klein]

You believe water's a scam.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Dan]

All these cows are vaccinated, too. Exactly. You also believe water is a scam. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, okay, without an ounce of. Without a drop of irony. Go. Water's a scam. Go.

[Dan]

Water's a solvent, so it's dissolving your body.

[Ethan Klein]

Math. Fucking math. You just got science, bitch. Science.

[Dan]

Water, okay? Yeah. I mean, water's a solvent, so it's dissolving your body. The fact that people say it's hydrating your cells is crap. It's. That's not a carbohydrate. It's not a fat, it's not a protein. Literally a solvent. If you put any type of material in water, it dissolves it. That's what it's doing to your body.

[Zach]

He's so close. He's so close. And then just. And then. No, he just.

[Ethan Klein]

This is. What do you call this the Dun and Krueger give a little.

[Dan]

No, this is not.

[Ethan Klein]

Not even that.

[Dan]

It's not even that.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, this is just somebody who's the dumbing Kruger, yo. Let's go right now.

[Dan]

And same thing with water weight. And you're drinking all this water and bloating. There's actually no.

[Ethan Klein]

You ever get bloated when you drink water? That's just a scam, bro. This guy doesn't drink water. That's. That's obviously not true.

[Dan]

Benefit to it if you want to hydrate. You have fats, you have juices, you have something that your cells can actually utilize.

[Ethan Klein]

I drink juice.

[Zach]

Kidding me. Fat, fats and juices to hydrate.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, juice can hydrate you.

[Dan]

I mean, yeah, it has water.

[Ethan Klein]

It's just water with sugar.

[Zach]

Yeah, but it's so bad for you.

[Ethan Klein]

I. Well, he's like, I don't drink water, I drink juice. But the juice is water.

[Dan]

I was never, you know, a super science sciencey student or anything.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I know,

[Dan]

but the fact that water is a solvent is like the reason that water is essential to life. Right? Like he's saying it like it's a bad thing. But like, I believe that's what your body. It like every part of the biology of your body uses water to like help break down things.

[Ethan Klein]

Why then, Dan, is our body not breaking down?

[Dan]

Well, it does. We. We die.

[Ethan Klein]

Why is our body not dissolving in the water?

[Dan]

That is a little beyond my pay grade. Yeah, it's all beyond my pay grade. But I'm pretty sure that, yeah, water, you need water. I think you need water to live.

[Zach]

You need water. Yeah, you need water. You do not need juice, though.

[Ethan Klein]

He's sitting here, so. I mean, you guys are obviously been disproven just by the mere fact of him sitting there.

[Dan]

Well, he's just, he's hydrating on juice. He's just slamming apple juice all over.

[Ethan Klein]

He's so fucking thirsty.

[Zach]

Juice and fat.

[Ethan Klein]

I need bacon. I'm so thirsty.

[Dan]

And this is probably the craziest thing. I've been saying this for three years, everyone on the Internet, like most of the clips are me just, you know, pissing people off. But if you actually look behind it and you think logically about it, water does not hydrate you, it dehydrates you. And I know it sounds crazy, but we can dive more in the topic later. But.

[Ethan Klein]

But hydrating is that to the act of taking water by its death, by definition it's hydrating. Right.

[Dan]

This is such a fascinating pivot for the manosphere. Yeah, I'm anti water.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, listen, let's see how whatever you're

[Zach]

consuming that's hydrating you, it's because of the water.

[Dan]

It's because there's water in it.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, not sure about that. He says it's dehydrating, so. L. Lamara. Ly. Let's see what. Let's see what Sean Kelly has to say about this water.

[Dan]

For the most part. No, I don't really need to.

[Ethan Klein]

Maybe for the most part you drink some water here and there. Maybe.

[Dan]

I mean, water is in raw meat. When you cook meat, what happens? Steam comes off of it.

[Zach]

Right, right, right, right, right. That's.

[Dan]

That's H2O right there. That's hydration going into your body. If you.

[Hila Klein]

Raw meat.

[Dan]

But if you're eating a bunch of cook food and all this, you're gonna get thirsty and it's just an addiction.

[Zach]

Whoa.

[Dan]

He's right. If we get addicted to water and then you stop taking it, the withdrawals will kill you.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Dan]

Yeah. So you need to just stay. Fucking stay clean.

[Zach]

Dude, look at me. I already finished my water.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm literally degenerate.

[Dan]

Literally. The tribes in the world, they don't drink water. Even the Maasai tribe in Africa, they don't really have water. Actually, what they do is they take.

[Ethan Klein]

Even the Maasai tribe, have you been there?

[Dan]

They photosynthesize down and they suck on them. I've seen that. Yeah, that is same thing in Australia.

[Ethan Klein]

They tell you to drink a gallon

[Dan]

a day to be.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, in Australia, they don't drink water.

[Dan]

Well, that's exactly what all the unhealthy Americans in all these countries that have terrible looking people do.

[Hila Klein]

That's what happens, man.

[Dan]

You're still eating only raw meat right now? Yeah, for the most part. Right now I'm in real conversation.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, this is what I'm talking about. About, you know, this is. This is pretty big. Also AB. This your guy? He interviewed Mr. Tight Pants himself.

[Dan]

Oh, yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

You need to give this man his

[Dan]

credit as a host.

[Ethan Klein]

How would you navigate that conversation? Oh, I would love to talk to that guy. Are you crazy? Please. Actually, let's reach out. Kate, if you're watching, I want to talk to him. Whoever that guy was, the no water guy. I really want to talk to Justin Waller.

[Dan]

Many feelings, they. They take things way too personally. People have forgotten that just. Man, 15, 20 years ago, that's how men bonded is calling each other names. Oftentimes even racial names.

[Ethan Klein]

Fifteen, 20 years ago, we used to call Each other. The N word. Nothing brought us closer together than that, boy. Nowadays we just took all each other off. Boring stuff like. Dude man. Stuff like that. No kind of bonding. Ain't no kind of bonding. I can't call my homie the N word. And health is going down the drain.

[Dan]

Obesity rates are at an all time high.

[Ethan Klein]

I saw you talk about kids being obese.

[Dan]

That's child abuse, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

Right.

[Dan]

If you have an obese child is child abuse. He doesn't have a thyroid problem. Like, you're feeding him horrible food.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Yeah.

[Dan]

And you're allowing it. The only time I've ever been tested for Kobe was in Dubai.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Dan]

They made you test so you get on the plane. It's the only time I've ever tested.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I usually. Yeah. That's sick.

[Dan]

So cool.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo, I've only been tested once, bro.

[Zach]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Just so you know. And it was to go to Dubai, which is cool. Which dope place. You want to go there. You want to be there. But anyways, what you've been working on.

[Dan]

Shouldn't they not like the UAE if they're like so tight on Covid restrictions?

[Ethan Klein]

No, the UAE is sick. They have slaves in Ukraine. Be rich there. And.

[Dan]

But they test you for covet.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, but they had to. It was at the peak of high hysteria.

[Dan]

Interesting.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, we're.

[Dan]

Yeah, man. So we've been doing a lot of podcasts. We're doing three a day while we're here.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, call me then. Coward Justin Tight Pants Waller. You know, if you call, I'll showed up with tighter pants. That's why he's scared.

[Dan]

I think we're doing 62 days.

[Ethan Klein]

Nice.

[Dan]

And then I shoot back to Louisiana. We have a real estate closing.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Dan]

So doing that. And we have the construction company and everything with the channel and everything we're doing with the real world.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Trying to help those young men make some money, make their lives better. Get them off to a good start. And is this like a big show?

[Zach]

I know.

[Dan]

Look at that LED screen.

[Zach]

The vibes are so low.

[Ethan Klein]

It's a fake show, dude. You know, I think it may be

[Dan]

shot with the celebrity poker tournament.

[Zach]

Like in that.

[Ethan Klein]

Like in that studio.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Because this audio is like crazy. Yeah, it's a really good, really nice studio. That screen is very expensive.

[Ethan Klein]

But also like this. This studio and then him just this hater. I am hating on this guy, dude.

[Zach]

Wait, what did he do to you again? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.

[Ethan Klein]

Nothing. I don't like what he does.

[Zach]

What does he do?

[Ethan Klein]

Everything bad really?

[Dan]

You articulate one thing.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen, you're. What are you about? We watching?

[Dan]

We're just giving what you say.

[Ethan Klein]

No, she's not.

[Zach]

I was. I wasn't paying attention, so I was asking.

[Ethan Klein]

I actually know that she wasn't paying attention.

[Zach]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

You know, you can't just jump in the middle of a conversation on a live podcast and ask to be caught up.

[Zach]

Okay, that's fair.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you. I know it is.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

I'm here.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude.

[Zach]

Amazing.

[Dan]

And I was.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Amazing.

[Ethan Klein]

Construction company seems like it's doing very well. Very well.

[Dan]

On pace for 30 million this year.

[Zach]

Right?

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Hell, yeah.

[Zach]

Incredible.

[Dan]

I mean, how are you?

[Ethan Klein]

Dude.

[Hila Klein]

Dude.

[Dan]

I would say the first eight to 10 years where it was really figuring out how to get it all put together, get the system.

[Ethan Klein]

Shut up.

[Dan]

Obviously, people out there that might accept some of the things that you don't agree with in your hometown, so I

[Ethan Klein]

think it's very important. Bro, you're so boring. Oh, my God.

[Zach]

Making me sleepy.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, back to this bald idiot. Sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that.

[Zach]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm sorry.

[Zach]

I'm so sorry that.

[Ethan Klein]

I didn't mean it like. I didn't mean it like that. I meant this. I mean, he is. He's very bald. He's very bald. He's, like, very. Well, anyway, it doesn't matter.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Pull relevant documents. We give them whatever we carry on us. And they say, oh, yeah, you guys are telling the truth. And they let us go. So. But, you know, this time. Yeah, so. But.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, let me go to the timestamps. Paul's Desantis. A M word for a little person. You know, kind of crude, if you

[Dan]

ask me, because last time he came

[Ethan Klein]

to Florida, when you got Andrew on

[Dan]

my podcast, I think he got arrested that time, right?

[Ethan Klein]

What's like a year ago or so?

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

So he wasn't arrested. What happened is when they arrived. Arrived. Ron DeSantis got on stage and spoke about them in very ignorant fashion. I don't even think that he realized that they were they. That they are American citizens. So he gave this big speech about how Andrew and Tristan were not welcome here, meaning Florida, I don't think. And how that they were going to open.

[Dan]

Not to defend Ron DeSantis too much, but I don't think he gave a speech about it. He was.

[Ethan Klein]

There was a press conference. He mentioned them in.

[Dan]

I think he got asked about it.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan]

It was like an impromptu thing.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan]

He's making it sound like he came out and made, like, a Declaration about the Tate brothers. It was like at Oppressor. Somebody in the crowd asked him about

[Ethan Klein]

Andrew Tate, and he responded, what is this, Zach? Is this just like a GMT or what? Looks big. I think it's a Seiko watch. It's a Seiko. No offense. I mean, no offense. Seiko is a beautiful watch, but if you're gonna be Andrew Tate's lawyer, could be.

[Hila Klein]

I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

You better have something nicer on than that. Could be Seiko. Could be, like an Auris. No, it doesn't look like Aviator gives

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

a. Santis and James Uthmeyer, the state attorney general, we're going to investigate them and see what hooks that they can get into them to make their.

[Ethan Klein]

They're going to see what charges they can make stick. These damn district attorneys. Shut up.

[Dan]

You know what? The closest thing that you're doing?

[Ethan Klein]

No, it sounds just like him. What about the poll? Do people like it?

[Dan]

It's 54. Say they like it.

[Zach]

I voted yes, by the way.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, you asked, do you like it or no?

[Dan]

I said, do you like Ethan's accent?

[Ethan Klein]

And only 54 said yes. Yeah, the. Why you guys watch this show, then?

[Dan]

Well, you could either just not do an accent, or you could do like, a. I don't know, vaguely Jersey or New York accent, like that guy actually has.

[Zach]

I think that's what he's trying to do.

[Dan]

Okay, I realize you kind of are doing the Bernie accent.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, he's from close, which is like.

[Dan]

Yeah, I guess that is from Brooklyn.

[Ethan Klein]

Right?

[Zach]

But this is New Jersey.

[Ethan Klein]

New Jersey's, like, right there, bro.

[Dan]

No, it is, but it's not like a.

[Zach]

It's just like. It's.

[Dan]

It's in that direction.

[Zach]

They have a different accent in New Jersey.

[Ethan Klein]

Not where I. Not the ones I know, exactly.

[Zach]

We need to take a year off.

[Dan]

They talk like Tom Ward.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Hell.

[Ethan Klein]

Hey, Dan, I got sponsor today. He doesn't sound like that guy.

[Zach]

Wait, that was so good.

[Dan]

Listen, man, I got daughters, okay?

[Zach]

I'm.

[Hila Klein]

I'm. I'm.

[Ethan Klein]

Hey, Dan, I got an ad today. What? Wait, why are you laughing? That doesn't sound anything like him.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

Dude, Zach's killing it.

[Zach]

It sounds just like him.

[Ethan Klein]

What? Do it again. Do more of it. Hey, Dan, we got an ad today. Okay. I see the Kate. There's a decadence. Omaha Steaks. And, you know, I'm a father. I got daughters.

[Dan]

I got daughters.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm a. I'm a dad. My name's Tom Ward. Tom, I'm not. I'm not supporting this you're way more dynamic than fucking cool and interesting. I love Tom, you know. Oh, Tom's with him.

[Zach]

It's just surprised me. Have you been exercising this?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I come in every day and I do my Tom for. For Dan.

[Hila Klein]

Ethan.

[Ethan Klein]

I can chat. It doesn't sound like him, bro. Yes, it does. No, no, no. I'm with Tom. I'm with. I ride. Yeah, I'm with Tom.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

And wipe the floor with him.

[Ethan Klein]

Because I wiped the floor with him.

[Zach]

That's Bernie.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Now he's state Attorney General. We're going to investigate them and see what hooks that they can get into them to make their life hell. We, of course, mocked him and wiped the floor with him.

[Ethan Klein]

We wiped the floor with him. Bro, you're a lawyer. What are you talking about? You're not WWF Fighter, idiot. Your boys are going to jail for life. Blizzard Wolfie said. Oh, my God, your Tom Ward is amazing. I don't shout out to. I don't hear shout out Wolfie, bro. He's the fucking. Has Tom heard your accent before for.

[Dan]

Should I call him Black Hole song? Thank you for the five gifted.

[Zach]

He's working.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't bother him.

[Zach]

I like us.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Okay.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Because of that, Andrew and Tristan had shown up here in South Florida. Specific purpose of number one, participate.

[Ethan Klein]

Shut up. Next. Admits he lost friends when he voted for Trump. Huh? Why is he talking about that? But he cares, bro. Here it is. And that moment of danger there. But we got through it, you know.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Hey. And a lot of us took up for Trump at great personal expense. When I voted for Trump in 2016,

[Ethan Klein]

he's trying to get Trump to save his.

[Dan]

Yeah. To intervene.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Trump, I love you. I've always loved you.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I've always loved you, Trump. This is what I sound like. I.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Before then, I was a part of the liberal establishment in New York. I lost friends.

[Ethan Klein]

He's a New Yorker relationship.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Some. Some that were 10, 15 years old. I lost employment opportunities. You name it, I lost it because I stood on principle and I believe that he was the best guy for the country. I obviously litigated all that stuff during January 6th when. When I led the charge on that.

[Ethan Klein]

And it's a little more controversial. These are good people. They did nothing wrong, By the way. Yeah. I mean, if you want a preview of how his clients do, I mean, all those guys are in jail. He didn't save any of them. Well, some are out now a lot. They're all out. They're all out now. Yeah.

[Dan]

I got pardoned.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Yeah, we defended Trump a second time.

[Dan]

I didn't really.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

During even more. Even arguably, times that were more difficult and more unpopular after the insurrection narrative was proffered to the public in 2021. We stood by him, we fought for him during very inconvenient times. I had an attempt on my life because of it.

[Ethan Klein]

Right, so you didn't shut up. Oh, yeah. What happened? Exactly. Exactly. Argument for their release from jail. Let's hear him out here. He's got a plea to the audience here.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

They've been accused of some pretty bad things. But none of the accusers have been identified. We just have. We have ghosts, we have phantoms, and we have the names of a prosecutor and a member of the Crown Prosecutor Service in. In England who hates the brothers. They've long been on the record saying they hate them, and. And they've got an ax to grind. Without more, they'll walk on extradition. They just. They have to provide something else. Their position is going to be, we don't need to provide you anything under the treaty. Our position is going to be, that's nice, but you need to make a sufficient probable cause showing here in the United States in order for them to go, and you haven't done that. They're not going to give their papers, probably to the last day, because they're just going to be scumbags about it. So our position at the bail hearing is going to be, look, there's no reason for these guys to sit in solitary confinement for, you know, 60 days. This is insane. Let's them out. They've been traveling the world for the past three years. They have conditions under which they've been released in Romania. It doesn't matter if they're in Australia, Antarctica, the North Pole, they make. They fly back to Romania every month to check in, and they've never missed a beat. The government's going to say there are flight risks. We're going to say that's a speculative analysis.

[Ethan Klein]

Normally, yeah. It's always. It's always speculative. How do you know? Until they flee? Oh, my God, bro, this guy's boring. I was expecting this to be more fun, but he's so disappointing. Spent a Romanian trafficking. She was only there six days. Okay, true. Seems like a flawless defense there by Andrew Tate's lawyer. Romania.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

The girl from Florida who went to Romania was there for six days. You know, you can't be.

[Ethan Klein]

You can't be raped in the six days. It's impossible. Identical.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

He found out that she wasn't gonna be Tristan's One and only love and

[Dan]

can't endorse this accent that you're doing.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

A bunch of girls over there. She accused him of human trafficking. We dug into that and we sued her for defamation. We've survived motions to.

[Ethan Klein]

They threatened to sue me for defamation. They did not. They were terrified, as they should have been. But now he's sending death threats, and that's like a whole nother spectrum we're gonna have to deal with.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Dismiss and we're in discovery. Because defamation claims is meritorious, it means to some extent, that we have already shown a case.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God. Dude, where's the flare? Where's the pizzazz, bro? Hey, Dan, you know what this episode needs? This needs a sponsor. He doesn't have a Minnesotan accent, but it's Tom Ward. I got daughters, you know. No, I know he has daughters. Yeah, he has daughters. I know that. He does mention that he's got daughters. Yeah.

[Hila Klein]

I'm a dad.

[Ethan Klein]

I can't be going out like that. Yeah, I know.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Think about the Julian Assanges of the world and the Snowdens. Every time there's a situation like this,

[Dan]

government tend to setting aside anybody's feelings about the Snowden or the Assange cases. How is Andrew Tate comparable to either of them?

[Ethan Klein]

He's in prison, that's how.

[Dan]

Both of them were wanted by governments for leaking of classified documents. Did Andrew Tate do that?

[Ethan Klein]

I don't.

[Zach]

He could.

[Dan]

I guess he could. Maybe through Baron. You get passed off something and leak that they're.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you, Zach. I'm getting low on energy. They're all political prisoners. Thank you. Hold on.

[Dan]

Really? Andrew Tate is like. It's like Mandela, but better. Better, but way better.

[Ethan Klein]

Mandela doesn't even go halfway to what Andrew's done for young men in the world.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

The wrong decision. I hope they've learned from Snowden. I hope they learn from us.

[Ethan Klein]

Bro, I can't do this.

[Dan]

I think that there's something here. I think that you're fucking Everquest brained and you just can't focus.

[Ethan Klein]

What? He's so boring.

[Dan]

I could find things to pick apart, you know?

[Ethan Klein]

All right, so here you go. You react, then. Go ahead.

[Dan]

I mean, it's fine. Really. What I want to hear about.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Anyways, you know, look, that you said you were going to get to after this is how Andrew Tate threatened to kill you.

[Ethan Klein]

Can you do me a favor? You log in and go to the East Common Tunnel to say what up to the homies. Otherwise I'm gonna have to do it on the air.

[Dan]

Okay? I guess I would rather.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, you can do that. All right, good. They're in the cave there. You know where the.

[Dan]

Yeah, I know where the East Common Lands tunnel is.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude, no, not the tunnel, but they're in the. You know the big.

[Dan]

Where the Shady Merchant is. Yes, I know.

[Zach]

Wait, so there's a fan meetup right now?

[Ethan Klein]

All the clan, all the whole guild is there watching the show in the game. Yes, that's what I'm saying. We gotta go say what up. Okay.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

We elected these guys for times like this to do the right thing and to. And to do the. Not to do the wrong thing. Because, make no mistake about it, we

[Ethan Klein]

got a screenshot of it. We gotta do the right thing. We gotta not do the wrong thing here and do the right thing. We're not the wrong thing. Open the post.

[Dan]

Oh, we just have a screenshot. Yeah, yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God, bro. Look how many people there are, Yo. That is so sick. That's great. That is so sick, dude. You could be there with him, bro. Well, I'm doing the show. You gotta go say what up, Dan. You have to.

[Hila Klein]

Okay.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

The manosphere. Gen Z abandons the Republican Party. AOC will be president. There's no way.

[Dan]

Oh, God, no way.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

A Republican.

[Dan]

Oh, God.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Anybody from that. From that party, from that. People who are currently administrative now in the. In the administration now, how could they possibly win if they betray two of the guys that have got. Who are they gonna be?

[Dan]

So all of this.

[Ethan Klein]

It all.

[Dan]

It's dawning on them that Trump is not coming to save them. And they're trying to not quite threaten, but, I mean, there is some truth to that. Trump's coalition, especially in the last presidential election, like, he got in on a wave of support from young men.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Like, that was one of the biggest swings and constituencies, like, the whole manosphere is maga. The whole manosphere is super maga. And that I. Many people, even I think Kamala has said that, you know, that that was a big factor in her losing.

[Ethan Klein]

So free my boy. Is that. Is that what you're getting at?

[Dan]

Well, I'm just saying that it's not totally unfound. Like, they're can't necessarily laugh off and dismiss what he's saying entirely because it is true. That will be a giant betrayal. You know, Tate. I'm not saying Tate got Trump elected, but he was part of. Of an online movement that radicalized a lot of young men towards MAGA and free him. And if they. If they let him go down, I mean, that is probably Gonna piss off a lot of those people.

[Zach]

I think. I think Tate is trying to intimidate with whatever cards he has. You know, for sure, that is definitely one of them, because he could tell his fans he's no longer supporting Trump.

[Ethan Klein]

He's not gonna do what he did to me. He's not gonna threaten the. Kill the president. I could bet you that. And what did he do to you? Kill me.

[Dan]

Can we.

[Ethan Klein]

Are we going to talk about that? Yes.

[Zach]

Oh, Trey.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Next, Joe Rogan for his podcast. If they betray these guys after everything, nobody will ever believe in them again. No. How could you? How could you?

[Hila Klein]

You're right.

[Dan]

This is a very, very pivotal decision because they've already lost a lot of support on the right. They've lost Shawn Ryan, they've lost Candace.

[Ethan Klein]

So this.

[Dan]

This could be the devastating blow, I believe. You know, it's.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

It's crazy. You know, there's either going to be a. A real moment of solidarity here or there.

[Ethan Klein]

No. No moment. They're going to jail, bro. Forever.

[Dan]

Yeah. And, yeah, I mean, that's like, these people are dumb. Everybody's dumb. To hitch their wagon to Trump with some expectation that he's going to, like, return the favor. The guy does not give a. Like, how is that not apparent to all these people? He only cares about himself, period. End of story.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Like, there's either going to be a. A real moment of solidarity here, or there's going to be in a kiss of the cheek, and he's going to. We're just going to say, I. I know it was you, Fredo.

[Zach]

Whoa. Tell.

[Dan]

What he did was kind of threaten him, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

I know it was you. That was. That was a death threat.

[Zach]

Yes. Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen, Mr. President, I know what is your freedom?

[Dan]

He actually said we were ready, man. We were ready for this moment.

[Ethan Klein]

There will become a day, one day when we will count on you for a favor. And if you do not give us that favor, there's gonna be a problem. You like to row, Mr. President? You like to go on Lakes?

[Dan]

You to go on Link.

[Ethan Klein]

Come take a row with me. I was going to make a joke. I shouldn't do it.

[Dan]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not classy like these two gentlemen.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

That's the big. We're just going to say, I. I know it was you, Fredo.

[Ethan Klein]

You know, that's crazy. That's crazy, bro. God. Godfather brained. I know it was into making a death threat against the president or there's

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

going to be in a kiss of the cheek and he's gonna. We're just gonna say I. I know it was you, Fredo. You know, that's the big.

[Ethan Klein]

This guy doesn't. Has no clue what he's referencing.

[Dan]

I don't know what that is.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah, Fredo.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

That's crazy.

[Dan]

His hair is looking pretty dangerous.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what I'm saying, man.

[Dan]

With you, man, it's not just light. I think he's got dandruffy.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

He has.

[Ethan Klein]

It's lice eggs and dandruff, ok. And it looks like it's not been washed in a fucking hot minute. You know, I tried to get him a head and shoulder sponsorship for this show. Yeah, How'd that go, Tom? Clearly not good. Clearly not good.

[Dan]

Listen, leave him alone. He's a father.

[Ethan Klein]

He's got daughter. I got two daughters. You know, it's true, it's true. I respect that.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

We, we, we still hope that, you know, we don't have Fredo's in the upper, upper echelon of our government, but, you know, let's wait and see.

[Ethan Klein]

Finally, a slur for Italian people. By the way, Fredo was Chris Cuomo, or wasn't there an incident that happened

[Dan]

where he called someone Fredo and someone. No, somebody called him Fredo. He screamed at them and said, that's the N word for Italian.

[Hila Klein]

Right?

[Ethan Klein]

That's awesome.

[Dan]

And then he apologized.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude, don't call me the F word, bro. Freda. I. I do it with that. With a soft. A Freda. What's up? My Freda. It's, it's. Italians can say it to each other, you know.

[Dan]

But are you Italian?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, partially. My kids are a little bit.

[Zach]

5%.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. I'm a dad. I'm Italian dad. Okay, so, yes, this guy, Sean Kelly, has 1314 million on Instagram, but does anyone watch?

[Dan]

Well, you got it.

[Ethan Klein]

What did I say?

[Dan]

Twice in a row.

[Ethan Klein]

12. Look at it.

[Dan]

You need to sleep.

[Ethan Klein]

I did. I don't know. Look at it. What did I say? What number did I say?

[Dan]

You said 13 and 14.

[Ethan Klein]

I went the wrong way. I meant to go down. Oh, you hear that music? Yeah, I don't play with the music on, but I know it's everquest. If you want to hit me, hit me with the ambient sound. That's the. Oh, not that.

[Dan]

It's Dan, dude, I finally. I'm getting on to the tunnel or whatever.

[Zach]

I think you have to come up when I go up, Ethan.

[Dan]

Sorry to say, you can leave it down.

[Ethan Klein]

I do need to. I do need to. Yo, last night was stupid. I stayed up way too late. All right, so are we going to see the homies in the East Commons?

[Dan]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Or I don't see it because I'm not there yet.

[Dan]

Just chill out.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm gonna watch you run.

[Dan]

No, just continue with the show. I'll let you know when I'm at the Guild.

[Ethan Klein]

Do these get views? Is the question. Of course. And the answer is probably no. No. Pretty much no. I mean, it's all hidden. And then he has one pin that has 14, 000 likes. That's a pin that was like a mega banger for him.

[Hila Klein]

14.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, it's a picture.

[Dan]

14.

[Ethan Klein]

Anyway, who cares about Tate's lawyers? Dude is so boring. Oh, my God.

[Dan]

Saying that. We've been having fun.

[Ethan Klein]

No, we have not.

[Dan]

Just keep saying it's boring.

[Ethan Klein]

Tate fan protested outside of jail and doesn't know how anything works. See, apparently Tate was shouting out some people outside. Oh, is this the guy? Okay, yeah. So this guy was outside the prison with the signs of encouragement for Andrew, and Andrew could see him from. They were looking at each other through some little prison window. Oh, wow. And this is him.

[Dan]

So the extradition process is just sending him to the UK, where he is a citizen. He faces over 40 charges, including 10 accusations or 10 charges, and then they'll be presented.

[Ethan Klein]

That's a lot of rape.

[Hila Klein]

10.

[Dan]

Well, we don't know what. They censored it.

[Hila Klein]

Wow.

[Dan]

We don't know what they were saying.

[Ethan Klein]

True. Fair. I shouldn't assume that.

[Dan]

Exonerate himself if he's actually innocent. Why would you be against that? I mean, I never necessarily said that I was against that. But you said free him from his current extradition process. Well, what I mean is free him from where he's being held right now. I'm just saying I'm not against him going to court. Yeah, and even he's not. By the way, he said himself, innocent men don't run. So how about we actually take this to court and stop dragging it off?

[Ethan Klein]

That's what they're doing.

[Dan]

The process is the punishment. They're dragging this for years. Why don't we just go to court? Let's do that. Let's speed it up. But you're protesting against his extradition, and the whole point is to send him there and he gets his day in court.

[Hila Klein]

That's the point.

[Dan]

You can't prosecute someone without extraditing them first. And you're protesting the extradition. I'm just protesting the fact that he's being held with no conviction.

[Zach]

That.

[Dan]

I mean. Okay, that's just A. Any sort of pre trial detention, but. So let's see what happens in court then, brother. But you're trying to stop him from going to court. You're saying free him? They're trying to send him to court. Stay in court. And even he said innocent men don't run. I'm pretty sure he wants to go to court and prove his innocence. But then why are so many of his allies lobbying against his extradition to be able to go through the legal pro.

[Zach]

All right, that is so stupid.

[Ethan Klein]

Enough with this.

[Zach]

Oh my God.

[Ethan Klein]

You know, this is like mining hill giants at level 40. It's just like what kind of experience are you going to get to what now? That was spot on. I mean they're going to con green. You're not going to barely get any experience. It's pointless. I mean, sure, the money's still good, but. Dan, did you pop any AA potions?

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

Why? Coward.

[Dan]

I don't need to. I don't need to speed up the experience. I'm enjoying it for what it is, you know?

[Ethan Klein]

No, but the AA process is slow, Dan.

[Dan]

Who cares?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh my God. You think you're better than me? Oh my God, bro. Oh my God. This guy thinks he's beyond drink drinking AA potions. Did you even get a satchel of fucking infinite possibilities?

[Dan]

I have not spent any additional money on the purchase price of the game.

[Zach]

That's how you're supposed to play in my opinion.

[Dan]

Right?

[Zach]

You buy the game and then you play it.

[Hila Klein]

Dan was telling you how to be resourceful.

[Zach]

Once you start spending, it's like, when do you stop?

[Dan]

All right, big news. I think, I think I'm here. Hold on. I do need to. Here, I'm just gonna quit out of. Were you resourceful? I was very resourceful.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, Ethan.

[Dan]

All right, Ethan.

[Hila Klein]

Here you go.

[Zach]

Ethan.

[Dan]

Here we go.

[Zach]

Eyes up.

[Ethan Klein]

No, I fell asleep.

[Hila Klein]

Look at this.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh my God.

[Zach]

Look.

[Ethan Klein]

I told you we had to go. I told you what? Yo, what the.

[Zach]

I. That's a lot of people.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, how do people get mounts, bro?

[Dan]

You don't see it? Oh, okay, one sec.

[Zach]

Dude, our cancelled. Hold on.

[Ethan Klein]

That's crazy.

[Dan]

Wow, look at this.

[Zach]

Oh my God. It's a whole crazy party.

[Dan]

We got back gumbo. We got.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, who's on a horse? How do you get a horse, Dan?

[Zach]

Beautiful. Why?

[Dan]

I think at max level you can buy a horse.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh my God, look at that. Look at that hot ass ogre female.

[Dan]

And they have.

[Zach]

They have a cool helmet.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo, look how good she look in white.

[Zach]

Ethan. They have A good helmet with the spikes.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I'll get that.

[Zach]

Need that.

[Ethan Klein]

I will. That's just plate. I'm going to get that soon.

[Zach]

Wow.

[Dan]

Let me take it all in. Let me take it all.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo, you literally even peak everquest. You barely see guilds this active. Look at this.

[Dan]

And they're arranged by height. You noticing this? Oh, oh, oh, my boys.

[Zach]

Look at me.

[Dan]

Look at us.

[Zach]

The frog squad.

[Dan]

It's the frog squad. Let's.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, you got plate. You got. Oh, you getting. Wait, Lampent, is that your epic armor?

[Dan]

It's my bard epic chest piece, buddy. Look at that.

[Ethan Klein]

Five, dude. Oh, no way, bro.

[Dan]

Yeah, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

What?

[Dan]

All right, well, shout out to all the frogs. Shout out gnomes. Dude. Look at this guy.

[Ethan Klein]

Shout out tomorrow. You just got in time. We just pulled up the homies in east.

[Zach]

This is actually crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

Look how many homies are there? Play the Everquest theme. Why do I have to ask? You play the Everquest theme now.

[Zach]

This is actually crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

This is exactly what I see.

[Zach]

Some of my skeleton people shout out,

[Ethan Klein]

yo, these are my homie. This is my real family. Yo, look at. We have never seen anything like this in HD podcast history.

[Zach]

No, this is. I'm glad we did pull it up because this is crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

I know all these guys. These are all my homies. I chat with all of them.

[Dan]

Every single one.

[Ethan Klein]

This is my fucking family right here.

[Dan]

I do recognize some of these names. I know I hook some of these folks up with some sweet gear.

[Ethan Klein]

Do an inspection. I want to thank. What is this?

[Zach]

Who's the best bagel and cream cheese?

[Ethan Klein]

I love that.

[Zach]

That thing.

[Dan]

Let's see.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at one of. One of the people with mounts.

[Dan]

Wait, this person has sick. Hold on.

[Zach]

Wait. That's sick.

[Ethan Klein]

It is sick. Love. I'm telling. I'm trying to tell you guys how. Bro, I'm in. Good.

[Zach]

I'm. Wait, who is this guy?

[Ethan Klein]

Why does he look so no inspect. Wait, why is he ask.

[Dan]

I think he's got a smoldering robe.

[Zach]

Dude.

[Dan]

Sick.

[Ethan Klein]

No, look at one of the. One of the ogres on the horses with plate. Yeah, that guy's pimped out on the left with the blue.

[Dan]

The cobalt deeds.

[Zach]

These nuts. Oh, it's deep. Deep nuts,

[Hila Klein]

step forward.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you.

[Dan]

Thank you, brother. Dude, this is sick.

[Ethan Klein]

Inspect him. Let's just all play for the rest of the nut. May we inspect you, sir?

[Dan]

Oh, I didn't ask. You're right. They have a skull shaped barbute and a brutish breastplate.

[Hila Klein]

Oh.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, thank you so much.

[Dan]

Tomorrow Cheers.

[Ethan Klein]

W. Cheers. Cheers. By the way, very cool.

[Dan]

Well, thank you. Everybody who came out, all the family.

[Ethan Klein]

Everybody do this. Wait. Everybody get together. And then on the. When I count down from five, it's

[Dan]

not going to work at all.

[Ethan Klein]

No, it will.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

It will.

[Dan]

We're on like a.

[Ethan Klein]

Let me do. I know it will work when they see it. Everybody. I'll count down to five, and then everybody do slash cheer. Okay? And we're going to see everybody cheer at the same time. It's like, epic. All right, ready? Five, four, three, two, one. Cheer. Oh, there's cozy. That's the guy I was telling you about that I knew.

[Dan]

Hold on. We're gonna have to wait, like, 30 seconds now for everyone to cheer.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Go back a little bit so we can get a. We could see everybody. Yo, this is so sick, you guys. This is so fucking sick.

[Dan]

Should be happening in a moment. Any second now. Everyone's gonna cheer. Any second now.

[Ethan Klein]

Come on, guys. You could go in a little bit closer. Come on. Any second now. You guys are all watching, right? Come on. Come on, baby. Any second now. Oh, there it is.

[Dan]

Oh, yeah, they're cheering.

[Ethan Klein]

Bro. Bro. I'm so excited to get a horse. Oh, my God.

[Dan]

So Paladins and shadow Knights. Get them. I'm not sure if other classes get out.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm a death knight.

[Dan]

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Then you're going to get a horse.

[Ethan Klein]

Why do they get horses?

[Dan]

Because we're cuz they're knights. Knights have horses.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Knights also have. Do they have maidens? Do they have maidens?

[Dan]

All right, I, I thank you, everybody. I'm logging off now because then otherwise Ethan will wait.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Hey. Hey.

[Dan]

This one's called Hila.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah. Hila.

[Zach]

I think I. Oh, my God.

[Dan]

I just spotted that from across the room. What up? Hila.

[Zach]

Wow.

[Dan]

All right, all right. I'm logging off.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what?

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

You know what?

[Ethan Klein]

I thought about naming my guy originally just because it's so stupid. That's kind of funny, just naming him Ethan Klein.

[Dan]

Somebody might have.

[Ethan Klein]

I think Server has Ethan. I could have got it if I wanted, but, like, literally, first name Ethan, last name Klein.

[Dan]

All right, I've logged off. I've logged off.

[Ethan Klein]

Wouldn't that be so dumb that it's kind of funny?

[Dan]

Yeah, I don't know. It's not that funny.

[Zach]

That was awesome.

[Ethan Klein]

Is it? Isn't it so cool? That's my people, dude. My people right there. Golly. What am I doing here?

[Zach]

I mean, where are your people, too?

[Ethan Klein]

Like, relax. Were. Were true. All right, I want to do something fun. Let's watch Dr. X and Mrs. Candy on Popeye's condom incident. What? Whenell X and Dr. Candace.

[Dan]

We didn't finish with Tate.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm so over that, bro.

[Dan]

Did he threaten you or not?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, that part. I forgot about that part. Yeah, sorry. There's one more love letter I forgot to show you guys. Thank you to everyone who cares. Tate wrote a love letter to his supporters. Black T shirt, blue jeans. Yeah, I never seen a hot babe like that. For never forget a. Never forget a candy ass like that. Black T shirt, blue jeans. Sounds like he's describing a hot woman. Dude, I see you doing push ups outside my window with the free Tate sign. Good work, G. DM me? DM you?

[Zach]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

You're in jail, bro.

[Zach]

Want to dance tonight?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, send me dick pics, bro. I slang dick pics, like currency here in prison. So, about the death threat. I don't. What? What? You. You can say it, Dan. You remember what it is?

[Dan]

No, I've been asking about it the whole. What do you mean?

[Ethan Klein]

He sent me a DM that he wanted me to die.

[Dan]

He DM'd you that he wanted you to die? Are you sure? Are you sure that happened? Yeah, I feel like you shown that.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, is that a threat? If he wants you to die? It just seems like a wish. It's not a threat. I guess it's not a threat. He said, are you gonna.

[Dan]

May I see it? May I see the dm?

[Ethan Klein]

Yes.

[Zach]

Where was it?

[Ethan Klein]

Twitter.

[Dan]

You're not on.

[Zach]

You're not.

[Ethan Klein]

I thought you used the platform. Well, no, I. I have it for only messaging. Just because I was getting so many messages. I was getting so many tweets and it was so annoying to open them. I got you, don't worry. Would it be the craziest if I actually did pull it up and he's like, I want you to just. I want you to die. Cobra tape.

[Dan]

What do you mean if I. He didn't threaten your life.

[Ethan Klein]

Did.

[Zach]

Why would it be crazy?

[Dan]

Did you make that up?

[Ethan Klein]

I'm looking.

[Zach]

See a lot of the typing.

[Ethan Klein]

Here.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Look.

[Dan]

I can't read that. That an overhead?

[Ethan Klein]

No, you. No, that's. That's what you said.

[Dan]

That's Tate screenshot.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Why isn't it?

[Zach]

Focus.

[Dan]

It's completely out of focus.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, that's on you.

[Dan]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, focus that, Dan.

[Dan]

Oh, second.

[Hila Klein]

Wrong way.

[Zach]

Wait, don't move.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't move. Wow.

[Zach]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, Dan, do you not out of focus? Like you didn't go to film school or something.

[Dan]

I Think it's just. It's having a hard time. It's too close and it's tiny and it appears to be.

[Ethan Klein]

Send a screenshot to the. Why can't I pull it in the right spot Here, send us. Oh,

[Zach]

I want you to die. Okay, that's.

[Dan]

That's you. That's the blue.

[Ethan Klein]

No, it's not. It's. Blue's the message you get.

[Zach]

Did you actually send him that?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I gotta rate it, I think.

[Zach]

Oh, my God. You don't.

[Ethan Klein]

You can't erase it anymore. It is what it is. I'll just say you should just change

[Zach]

the title of this episode to I Said Andrew. A Death Threat Lie.

[Ethan Klein]

Just kidding, bro. Just. I hope. Yeah, I hope prison's treating you well.

[Zach]

It was just a gag for my show. My comedy podcast is still making.

[Ethan Klein]

Or the comedy podcast.

[Zach]

It was a dare.

[Ethan Klein]

All the best to you, my bro.

[Dan]

Okay, so you threatened to kill him.

[Zach]

Just.

[Ethan Klein]

No, no.

[Dan]

It's the opposite of what you told.

[Ethan Klein]

I said I want you to die.

[Dan]

Huh?

[Ethan Klein]

It's not a threat. As a wish. To wish like Geppetto.

[Dan]

Yeah, to Geppetto.

[Ethan Klein]

I wish, my boy. I wish. Yeah. All the best to you, my friend. Say, my best friend took the phone and sent that. Dance word love sent that.

[Zach]

Oh, my God.

[Dan]

No, it's me.

[Ethan Klein]

Fuck you.

[Dan]

Don't do that.

[Ethan Klein]

Are you scared of Andrew Tate?

[Dan]

A little bit. Seems like a dangerous guy. International criminal and sex trafficker.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, dude, let's do condoms and Popeyes.

[Dan]

Okay. I gotta say, I'm a little disappointed. I feel lied to. You told us why.

[Ethan Klein]

I got it backwards. So what?

[Dan]

Well, it changes things. Pretty significant.

[Ethan Klein]

I genuinely forgot I sent the hat. I thought. I really thought he sent it to me. Okay, that's my bad.

[Zach]

No, I mean, but you sent it just now.

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, that's my bad. I mean, you made me make this thumbnail and everything and it was just like a lie. No, it wasn't. Waste of time. It's not a lie if you believe.

[Dan]

Straight up lie.

[Zach]

Do I change?

[Ethan Klein]

Look at. I apologize, bro. What do you want? No, don't change. Depends how many people are watching. Do we need to change it? GG 2000 people watching. Oh, I'm kidding.

[Zach]

18.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, 18. That's pretty good. So don't change it. No, I apologize. That's my bad. I legit thought he sent that to me.

[Dan]

And then it seems outrageous that you could confuse that. That you could look at that and be like, oh, he's trying to kill me.

[Ethan Klein]

Why don't you just take my word instead of always calling me a liar.

[Dan]

Well, I mean, you did lie. You said the opposite.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not a lie if you believe it.

[Dan]

Okay, I know that's what they said

[Ethan Klein]

on Seinfeld or whatever, but doesn't make it less true.

[Zach]

No, it does.

[Dan]

It does. It's a comedy.

[Ethan Klein]

Why?

[Dan]

Well, it's a satirical comedy show.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Of true meaning and has never been explored, expressed through comedy before. Shakespeare and other things.

[Zach]

Ethan's right.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, obviously I'm right. Thank you. Tomorrow.

[Dan]

Shakespeare's a comedy.

[Hila Klein]

He writes.

[Ethan Klein]

Written a lot of comedies. Love. Get with the program, bro. I never watched that show. Really? It was kind of like Big Bang Theory, but yeah, just a little older.

[Hila Klein]

Oh,

[Ethan Klein]

this was brought by condom incident, bro. Button, button. Who's got the button? News story. Condoms at Popeyes Houston man said he discovered what he believed was a fried condom while eating his meal. He filed a police report and sought medical attention. Well, I mean, even if it was used, even if it was deep fried, Ch, there's very little chance of getting any kind of food. Food borne illness from that. If it was deep fried. Yeah, you should be happy it was fried. Yeah. If it was raw, it was a raw Connie. Then we'd be in one more word. Who says that? That's the English thing. They call it Connie.

[Zach]

Really?

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know. Allegations I've not been independently verified. Nobody knows if this actually happened. It says the allegations have not been independently verified and authorities have not confirmed what the object was or how it ended up in the food. Popeyes has not made a comment. That brings us to now.

[Zach]

Oh, wait, did he eat it all?

[Ethan Klein]

He ate the five condom. But anyway, that brings us to Brother X and Dr. Matthews and Quinell X rolling up because it's time. It's time for a public announcement, right? This type of fucking shenanigans at Popeyes. Deep frying condoms. It has to stop now.

[Dan]

It has to stop.

[Ethan Klein]

Go on. Here they go. Oh, that's the last. That's the last pair of feet you want walking in your door, bucko. Oh, hello. Hello.

[Hila Klein]

Are you the manager?

[Zach]

Hello.

[Hila Klein]

Very serious situation.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm actually going to say something that looks like a really clean restaurant.

[Dan]

Like.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, it seemed like they're running a tight ship there.

[Hila Klein]

Extremely serious, this young man. Where's my young brother? Tell me. Young brother.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, they have him. This is the condom.

[Hila Klein]

Brother was sitting there eating not too long.

[Ethan Klein]

What?

[Zach]

You said this is the condom.

[Ethan Klein]

But he said that.

[Zach]

You just said that.

[Ethan Klein]

No, I. I meant to say this is the condom meter.

[Hila Klein]

This weekend he broke open his chicken. He bought the chicken from here. He sat down in here, in here, opened up the chicken.

[Ethan Klein]

Why are they acting like it's a hate crime like that? Why did you put a condom in this man's food? It's a hate crime.

[Dan]

Well, they're here to find out, right?

[Hila Klein]

And the chicken had a condom in it. A condom. There's the video right there of them opening the chicken. And you can tell the condom was cooked.

[Ethan Klein]

This lady does not get paid enough for this chef in the chicken. She is so over it.

[Hila Klein]

You look at the whole video. It was.

[Ethan Klein]

She is literally calculating how much she made this month

[Hila Klein]

in the chicken. When they came up here to speak to you all about it, they laughed at him. They thought it was funny.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you know what time I was, I was.

[Hila Klein]

What time was it? Young brother. It's on the receipt. Here's the receipt. Here's the receipt.

[Ethan Klein]

He's acting like he's like Malcolm X or something. Bro, you're talking. You're at Popeyes.

[Dan]

I don't think he should be downplaying it. If there was a condom in that chicken and she was the manager on duty, then that it was. That is her responsibility. Okay, but like, what action do you

[Ethan Klein]

take so that doesn't happen again? It's not like they're sabuku. I don't know. How do you say it?

[Dan]

It's not sabuku.

[Ethan Klein]

Seppuku.

[Hila Klein]

Why? What? Why the police were not called and notified the police in the kitchen? Well, did your guy that was cooked in the chicken. So you got some freak in the back in the kitchen playing with himself and choking the chicken and stroking the chicken.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, come on.

[Hila Klein]

Whoa. Come on.

[Dan]

He couldn't help himself.

[Ethan Klein]

No, these guys are the.

[Hila Klein]

He couldn't help himself.

[Ethan Klein]

They're. They're. I think, honestly at this point, I think that they're like a comedy duo and I. I think they might be just doing. Doing a set, same time.

[Hila Klein]

This is a sick individual.

[Ethan Klein]

Someone's working in the kitchen. He's cooking chicken and he's playing with chicken.

[Dan]

He's choking the chicken.

[Ethan Klein]

This man's got enough to do with chicken. Imagine being in the kitchen and you're

[Dan]

like, there's someone in the kitchen.

[Ethan Klein]

You're just. No, you're the only.

[Zach]

There's only one guy, love. There's only one guy in the kitchen. Yes. Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

And you know what? He's so wedding. Cuz it was him. He did it. Yeah, it actually happened. There is someone behind that woman, right?

[Zach]

Yeah. That keeps poking their eye out.

[Hila Klein]

We don't know what germs he's running. You need to call the gm, need to call the owner, need to call corporate.

[Ethan Klein]

We even had to go to the emergency room by.

[Hila Klein]

Be careful what you eat in this Popeye.

[Zach]

Not be.

[Ethan Klein]

Order none of this.

[Hila Klein]

Damn, the chicken is coming with used condoms.

[Ethan Klein]

You use condoms in it, don't you? Order none of that. How do they know it's used? What are they cream filled? What are they doing? Are they. Are they just trying to shake down the place for money? Like. I don't understand. What's their objective?

[Dan]

They probably got paid to do a

[Ethan Klein]

hit on the owner or some shit. Like ruin business.

[Dan]

Oh, interesting. What's the worst thing we can do here?

[Zach]

I think they're just seeking justice just

[Ethan Klein]

for the name of justice. Just for justice sake, Ethan, imagine if

[Zach]

this happened to you.

[Ethan Klein]

I'd be like you would raise hell. Excuse me, brother. Have you choking the chicken or cooking the chicken back there, boy? I have an interesting proposition for our scientists in the chat. Would the condom not melt in boiling oil?

[Zach]

Oh my God. This is our next experience.

[Ethan Klein]

That's actually a really good question. I want to say no, because it's like a very special kind of plastic, but honestly, it might.

[Hila Klein]

Is.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Maybe it's because it's.

[Zach]

I mean, for some reason I feel like. No, but. But I don't know. Why would it be built to withstand that much heat?

[Ethan Klein]

Because you've never seen me have sex before. Sorry, that was. That was a bad. That was gross. Just a lot of. Because you get the.

[Zach]

I understand. I mean, yeah, I feel like those things are very durable.

[Ethan Klein]

They do break a lot too though.

[Dan]

No, it's looking like Hila's instincts might be right.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, I said it first. No, I mean I love you, but I just say it first.

[Dan]

Well, because it's. They're not plastic. It's rubber.

[Ethan Klein]

It's latex.

[Dan]

It's latex, right? Exactly.

[Zach]

Oh, yeah,

[Dan]

let me see.

[Zach]

It's actually chichi.

[Dan]

It would soften and deform, but it wouldn't like fully like melt and like dissolve.

[Ethan Klein]

There you go.

[Zach]

Well, hold on.

[Ethan Klein]

Melting point of latex is 180 Celsius or 356 Fahrenheit, which is. I could see someone boiling oil higher than 386 Fahrenheit, right?

[Zach]

Don't ask. Chat.

[Dan]

Well, no, that's a Fahrenheit. Would it be. Let's see. Ideal deep fryer is 175 to 190. So it's right.

[Ethan Klein]

No, that's way below. No, 300 Fahrenheit.

[Dan]

You said 180 Celsius is the melting point of latex.

[Ethan Klein]

Or 356 Fahrenheit. Way under.

[Dan]

Yeah, I'm still talking in Celsius. So it's right around there is the deep fryer temperature.

[Ethan Klein]

It melts.

[Dan]

It would melt. It's like right on the borderline.

[Zach]

She showed the woman something on her phone. Do we get to see what that was?

[Dan]

I sure hope so, guys.

[Ethan Klein]

No, we a thousand percent need to do this experiment and before they call. Ideally, yeah, definitely.

[Dan]

Well, they're calling on Wednesday. Do you own a deep fryer?

[Zach]

Does anybody here own a deep fryer?

[Ethan Klein]

I think I debunked that shit, honestly.

[Dan]

I mean, it will melt.

[Zach]

We got to do it tomorrow.

[Ethan Klein]

Didn't my dad give me a deep fryer for some weird Hanukkah?

[Zach]

I have a friend. We didn't take it.

[Ethan Klein]

Just threw it out immediately.

[Zach]

Give it to somebody else.

[Dan]

Threw it out.

[Ethan Klein]

No, it wasn't like. It was like, thanks a lot. No, it was like this. This game where there's like a.

[Zach]

A white elephant.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, white elephant. And so my dad, every year he gets the shittiest present. Right. You know, there's always someone who shows up with like the cheapest, lamest crap. And you show up with like a Bluetooth speaker or something. Dope,

[Dan]

huh?

[Ethan Klein]

I got like a Kirkland's $20 deep fryer. It would probably burn your house down if you actually tried to use it. So. No, I guess not.

[Dan]

Speaker is pretty lame. Gif for a white elephant.

[Zach]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

She said what she said.

[Dan]

That's a lame gift.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, there's a Bluetooth speaker. I meant. I meant AirPods, EarPods, whatever. The. The Bluetooth pods. Blue pods.

[Hila Klein]

If you eat this chicken.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude, I am surrounded by flies, ok? I showered this morning. Why are there so many flies everywhere? Bro, you're not showering.

[Zach]

Good enough.

[Ethan Klein]

No, like, what are we doing about these flies, man? You know,

[Zach]

we could get by our own air fryer.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Get down.

[Ethan Klein]

No, not air fryer.

[Zach]

I mean deep fryer. That's what I meant.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, we. Yeah, we'll have to do that. It actually sounds really a great experiment. I'm very excited about this. We don't need to buy a deep fryer.

[Zach]

Just.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah. Boil oil. Yeah, just boil oil in a pan, right? You could do it at home. Yeah, I could do it at home. I don't want to. We just need a Burner and oil. We'll do it here.

[Zach]

Oh, we could. Yeah, we could do that. Do we think we should get different types of condoms?

[Ethan Klein]

No, just get like a regular Durex, you know, run of the mill.

[Zach]

This is a good point. It's important to remember. They claimed it was shoved into the chicken, not in the oil. They were right. We need to shove it into a

[Ethan Klein]

chicken so it would be more likely to survive in.

[Zach]

Yeah, I need to see whatever video was on her phone.

[Dan]

That's a fair point.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's see. Maybe they'll show it.

[Hila Klein]

You might want to decide if you want to swallow a spit. Yeah, but that's how sick and nasty

[Ethan Klein]

the boy went to the emergency room. We got everything. Police report everything. Y' all better go to another Popeye's chick.

[Dan]

So if you like they choking chickens in here.

[Hila Klein]

If you like eating chicken with condoms in it, step right on up and get you two piece for special.

[Ethan Klein]

Make sure you get a Trojan special. Imagine, step right on up, you already made an order.

[Dan]

You're just waiting for your.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what? I'm eating it. Who are these. Who are these freaks? Like, I don't believe that. And also, what's the chance of there being two condoms in one week? Yeah, it's like lightning. Freak accident. Yeah, it's like lightning doesn't strike twice.

[Zach]

Be like a lucky ticket.

[Hila Klein]

It's funny. Matter of fact, we'll show you the video. Where is that video? Y' all come take a look at the video. Come look at it. All you customers, come look at it. Watch this video. Push pause on it for a second.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God, bro, her fingers are wild.

[Dan]

They're pretty dope, to be honest.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo, get a look at that. That's weaponry right there, boy. I ain't no fingernails that straight up. Little daggers. It's like, look at her fingers all crazy looking out. It's like pointing in all crazy directions.

[Hila Klein]

Let them all come around. Watch this. Let everybody come around. We want y' all to watch this now. Look at this.

[Ethan Klein]

Look, look, look. Condom in the chicken.

[Hila Klein]

Look. Condom inside. Fried in the chicken. Look at it. Watch it, watch it.

[Dan]

You gotta break it out.

[Hila Klein]

Look at it. Look.

[Ethan Klein]

Condom in the chicken.

[Hila Klein]

Look, look at this. Nasty, filthy. Look at this. You don't know. You don't know whose DNA you chewing on in Popeye.

[Dan]

Yeah, that did look really gross.

[Ethan Klein]

But if that was a. If you found a condom in your chicken, would you play with it that much? I'd be like, really grossed out trying

[Dan]

to figure out what it is with Their hands. It's a finger protector.

[Hila Klein]

Look at this.

[Dan]

Okay, So I had that thought.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, glove. It could be a glove. No, I sent what it is. Oh, you know what it is? It's not a condom. Hold on. Wait. How do you know it's this?

[Dan]

Because those exist.

[Zach]

Yeah, but how do you know?

[Ethan Klein]

How do you know that? Why do you say it's skinny? It's like super small, right?

[Zach]

I thought condoms come in different sizes.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, hold. Hold on, hold on, guys. Let's not jump to conclusions. Let's take a look here.

[Zach]

That looks bigger there than the chicken.

[Ethan Klein]

Look now.

[Dan]

It looks exactly.

[Hila Klein]

Look at this. Nasty. Filthy.

[Ethan Klein]

What did Nate say about only fans?

[Zach]

Oh, yeah,

[Ethan Klein]

trust me, it lines up. I don't got enough dick for only fans, bro.

[Dan]

You know, Straight up.

[Zach]

Yeah, that's right. So Nate probably uses one of those finger ones.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. No. No comment request.

[Hila Klein]

You don't know. You don't know. Whose DNA you chewing on in Popeyes today?

[Ethan Klein]

It looked like it. Look, it's kind of hard to see, but it looks like a condom to me. But it's hard to see. It's hard.

[Dan]

So I, I, I actually had this same thought that it might be one of the little finger condoms, but did look bigger than that when he was pulling it out. I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, finger. Those are tiny little.

[Dan]

They're really small. Yeah, they just. When you. It's for. If you cut your finger in a restaurant, you're supposed to put it over that.

[Ethan Klein]

And that would definitely explain the presence of it.

[Hila Klein]

Pubic hair.

[Dan]

Yeah, restaurant and all restaurants will have the little finger condom things for cuts.

[Ethan Klein]

Maybe it got loosened up from the fryer.

[Dan]

I mean, that is a plausible. It's certainly a lot more plausible than somebody like maliciously throwing an actual condom.

[Ethan Klein]

Can we go find the actual source? Cuz that video is probably online.

[Zach]

I do want to say, you know, that my. I. When I was in England, my sister did find a bumblebee, you know, in her chicken nugget. I know.

[Dan]

It happens. Stuff gets into food. Contaminated.

[Ethan Klein]

That's gross. But not as.

[Zach]

It's not. It's very different.

[Ethan Klein]

That's like.

[Zach]

There shouldn't be any condoms in that workplace.

[Ethan Klein]

That's like an act of God, right? The bumblebee sickness.

[Dan]

Look at this.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Show this.

[Hila Klein]

Look at this.

[Ethan Klein]

Y' all better get y' all money back.

[Hila Klein]

Look at this. You can tell the condom was fried and cooked in the chicken. Look at this.

[Ethan Klein]

So I wonder if it's lifestyle.

[Hila Klein]

Take a look at this. Look at this. Look at this. The condom is fried in the chicken.

[Ethan Klein]

In the chicken. I'm worried.

[Hila Klein]

I'm worried about all you women. Don't eat this chicken because you might not know who your baby daddy is.

[Dan]

That's not how that works. Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, God. These guys are something else, man. All right, so we have. We actually found the, the video. It's. See. Oh, yeah. Let's take a look, get to the bottom of this. Now, of course, I'm assuming that Quanell and Dr. K or X or whatever did their.

[Dan]

Not even close.

[Ethan Klein]

Did their. Their due diligence on this. I mean, that looks like a. It could be a glove. Could be it just a plastic glove.

[Dan]

Plastic glove.

[Ethan Klein]

But where's. Where is the specimen? Let's see the specimen. So, like here, look.

[Zach]

The bare hand.

[Ethan Klein]

It's a thick. It does. It does appear to be cooked into it. So this does appear not to be a. And obviously anything's possible, but it looks like there's a piece of the rubber here, which is why it makes me think maybe it's a glove or something else.

[Dan]

Right, I see what you mean.

[Ethan Klein]

Like there's rubber pointing this way.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, wait. That could just be. It's folded. It's short. It's too short. I feel like they're obscuring. They're be. They're being a little bit evasive. Like, just pull it out and show us what it is. Right.

[Dan]

Yeah. It's odd that it's just like cuts off.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. I don't know if it's a condom, to be honest with you guys. I don't want to listen. I don't want to wait.

[Zach]

Was that the whole video?

[Ethan Klein]

That's it.

[Zach]

That's. That's suspicious.

[Dan]

It is suspiciously short.

[Zach]

Yeah,

[Ethan Klein]

they, I'm.

[Dan]

I mean, not suspicious. It looks like there was some in his food. And that is gross.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Dan]

Like, Right. He's not wrong for being upset. But that, but condom thing. I, I.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, a glove in a kitchen. Although it's gross and, and wildly irresponsible. Makes sense.

[Dan]

Right?

[Zach]

Right.

[Dan]

You could see how that's a huge. Possibly happen. That is a very big.

[Zach]

Yeah, absolutely disgusting either way. But, you know, not on the same level. Not on the same level.

[Ethan Klein]

Something maybe with more evidence here. A chicken was killed today.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

To me.

[Ethan Klein]

No, not Mr. Beast is getting involved. So here's another video. Let's see.

[Dan]

I don't think it's.

[Ethan Klein]

It is.

[Dan]

It's the exact same footage.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, no, this one's longer, though.

[Dan]

Now the rest of it just cuts to something else.

[Zach]

Oh, what Wait, But I do feel like I see it better here.

[Dan]

It is. Better quality. Yeah.

[Hila Klein]

Let's see. Get you.

[Zach]

Wait, wait.

[Dan]

That's it.

[Zach]

Was there not another.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm gonna pause it right when you can really see it.

[Zach]

That's a glove.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh my God. The fly is on my watch, you see.

[Dan]

Shoot it with the salt gun.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm going to.

[Dan]

On your watch?

[Ethan Klein]

Yes.

[Dan]

Isn't that a bad idea?

[Hila Klein]

No.

[Zach]

Oh,

[Dan]

for a number of reasons.

[Ethan Klein]

I caught myself on that. Oh my God. I got him though. That actually hurt. I fucked it up though. Actually. It's probably. I didn't shoot my watch. I was going to, which is really delirious.

[Dan]

Yeah, it seems.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean it's steel

[Dan]

still.

[Ethan Klein]

Anyway, I did shot myself. Killed the. Fucking killed it. So here you can get a really good view of it right here.

[Zach]

I think it looks like a glove, honestly.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, that's what I'm.

[Dan]

I think it's a glove. I'm pretty convinced at this point because

[Zach]

you can see there's that finger there.

[Dan]

Yeah, that little side part.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan]

I mean it could be twisted in a weird way, I guess, but it seems more likely that it's a glove and that just makes more sense.

[Ethan Klein]

One also, that would explain why the video footage is so weirdly edited.

[Zach]

Right?

[Ethan Klein]

Like oh really, you cut it off there when you're just taking it out

[Zach]

more viral. You know, if it's a condom.

[Ethan Klein]

Not something to lie about though.

[Hila Klein]

Because

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, I think we got a chicken on the loose, man. Came from the farm. You think as someone's chickens left the Connie and the chicken

[Hila Klein]

and they thought it was funny. They did and they thought it was funny.

[Ethan Klein]

I want to know who, who the chicken clucker that's back there over here. Freaking chicken and stuff.

[Hila Klein]

Matter of fact, need to go outside and show the folks in the drive through too. Yeah, we gotta chicken and date in this damn place.

[Zach]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Come on, let's do that.

[Dan]

They are not getting the juice from this that they were hoping for. You can tell.

[Ethan Klein]

They, they, they have some good stick though, choking the chicken.

[Dan]

Yeah, he came in with some decent material, but it just seem it's just a dead crowd, you know, Sometimes that happens.

[Ethan Klein]

Tough audience, bad showing.

[Zach]

Yeah, I think the hungry people are still going to eat their food.

[Ethan Klein]

You know, I would if I was there.

[Zach]

They're trying to get them to leave.

[Dan]

Yeah, that's the thing is I, I think everybody's just kind of like, oh, that's crazy, man. Anyways, yeah, my number two is ready, so.

[Hila Klein]

And what was when the young brother called the police. The police thought it was funny and said, well, there's been no crime committed, so we can't give you a report. Dr. Matthews had to get on the cops and make them take a report. How you going to say somebody's sticking a used condom in somebody?

[Zach]

How do you know that is, like, taking it for a fact?

[Ethan Klein]

Well, it's not in its wrapper, so I guess by definition it's used if it is a condom, which I don't think it is. But, yeah, they should definitely take your report because it could have been a sexual crime if it was a condom. But the problem is they don't show it. Probably the police saw it was a glove and was like, they gotta investigate.

[Dan]

So, you know, back at this place.

[Hila Klein]

It's not a crime, you abs. That is absolutely a crime. We don't know what bodily fluids. We don't know what STDs may be in that condom from some sick human being. If he's that type of pervert.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude, look at her face.

[Dan]

She was when she held it up.

[Hila Klein]

From some stick human being. If he's that type of.

[Ethan Klein]

We are not playing around with these condoms, boy. No, sir. I prefer my chicken on the pill, boy. Ain't no condoms in my chicken, boy.

[Dan]

Stupid.

[Hila Klein]

How long he's been stroking and playing with chicken in the back.

[Ethan Klein]

He's really. He's really. He's stretching that. Yeah, that one.

[Dan]

Stretching.

[Ethan Klein]

That is good, though.

[Hila Klein]

Testing. Eat with this Popeyes. And they thought it was funny. HPD should be ashamed of themselves. So when they came back and Dr. Matthews got on there behind, then they gave him a police report. But we want a detective assigned to the case, and we want a detective to go back there and question every single employee, because that's sick. That is. Is some sick, perverted stuff. And we've seen other videos, including some at Popeyes with people doing strange things with the chicken.

[Zach]

Right?

[Hila Klein]

See those.

[Zach]

What kind of stuff is he saying?

[Ethan Klein]

Hold on. It was a pretty obscure statement.

[Hila Klein]

I mean, a secret seasoning is happening up in here. There's a lot more going on. The cops must take this seriously. We don't know what disease is being spread bread in this damn place.

[Ethan Klein]

And just the fact that it was even. It didn't even melt in the grease. It was just embedded in the chicken.

[Hila Klein]

Matter of fact. Matter of fact, it's embedded. Matter of fact, what was it? Are you the owner?

[Dan]

No, not.

[Hila Klein]

Because I know that y' all got a co op going here with Shell and with Shell and pop.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, excuse me. Yeah, get your money back.

[Hila Klein]

Y' all come on here.

[Ethan Klein]

We shutting this place down. We ain't having no freaky chicken activities going on around here.

[Zach]

None of this damn chicken in here. No freaky chicken.

[Hila Klein]

Matter of fact, if you're coming back. Matter of fact, I take my chicken back.

[Ethan Klein]

Take it back. Get your money back. Unless you want to eat a condom chicken.

[Dan]

Thinking about it.

[Hila Klein]

Did you come to get you some bird, ma'? Am. You come to get you some chicken? Don't do yourself like that. Don't do it. Don't take that risk.

[Ethan Klein]

Get your money back.

[Zach]

Look, they're still ordering.

[Ethan Klein]

God bless.

[Dan]

Oh, she is getting a refill.

[Zach]

Oh.

[Dan]

Oh, she's out.

[Zach]

Oh, God.

[Ethan Klein]

Get your money back. Bring your receipt and come to get your money back.

[Hila Klein]

If you got your receipt, you might as well.

[Zach]

Your receipt.

[Ethan Klein]

Get your money back. Y' all work too hard to be running around here eating.

[Hila Klein]

You don't know what the hell you

[Ethan Klein]

take care of your.

[Hila Klein]

Come on.

[Dan]

Oh, my God.

[Hila Klein]

Come on.

[Dan]

So obnoxious.

[Ethan Klein]

They're really. They're really, like, trying too hard, you know?

[Dan]

That's what I'm saying? Like, I feel like they're. They're having to push it because they weren't getting quite the reaction they were hoping for.

[Ethan Klein]

Miguel, whatever your name is, get your ass over here and get that taken care of. Brother, that ain't right. Hell, no. No, They're. They're forcing everybody to do it. They're not giving people their option. Kind of freaking mess they got going on here. What kind of freaky chicken y' all got going on in here? Everybody want to be quiet. Don't nobody want to say nothing.

[Zach]

What is their job?

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

This.

[Dan]

You're looking at it.

[Ethan Klein]

I. I think she's a law. Actual attorney, so I. I think they have some angle here.

[Dan]

Well, she's. She goes by Dr. No.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, she's professor. Doctor. Be respectful, Dan.

[Hila Klein]

Okay?

[Ethan Klein]

It's both United States. Dr. Ethan Klein. Take it from me, Ethan. Thank you very much. You're very welcome. Thank you very much. My pleasure. My pleasure.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Give.

[Ethan Klein]

Give her her money.

[Hila Klein]

Matter of fact, this lady's getting a refund. They getting a refund?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Got to be some refund activity.

[Hila Klein]

Going refund activity.

[Ethan Klein]

Refund activity. Condom chicken.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

That's crazy. Dr. Candace Matthews is a Houston native who graduated from Macedonia Bible College with a bachelor's degree in sociology, a master's art in Christian education, and a PhD in cognitive development. The first two sound made up, but the last one sounds legit. No Sociology is not made up.

[Dan]

I don't think any of it.

[Ethan Klein]

Christian education sounds a little.

[Dan]

Oh, yeah. Yes. Yeah. So that. That is a thing.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, but like, that's. Is that really a thing?

[Zach]

Fair enough.

[Ethan Klein]

You know, I need to go out here.

[Dan]

Oh, it's an honorary doctor.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, she has an honorary doctorate in cognitive development. What does that mean?

[Dan]

How do you wind up with that?

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, no. Honorary doctorate in humanities from esteemed Bible university. So apparently she is actual a PhD, according to what Galia just sent me.

[Dan]

Shout out,

[Ethan Klein]

Ma', am, don't buy that chicken. They had condoms in the chicken. Condom in the chicken, ma'.

[Hila Klein]

Am.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God, bro. Now they're going up to people in the drive through and showing them the

[Zach]

video, demanding they're gonna end up getting sued. Right? Like, this is kind of crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

If it's not a condom and they can prove that they did know it wasn't a condom. That's. That's pretty bad.

[Dan]

That's gonna be hard to prove, though.

[Ethan Klein]

Not really. If they're in touch with the guy, right? Which they are. He was apparently there with them. I don't think it. I think you could probably. There's probably a chance you could prove that they knew it wasn't.

[Hila Klein]

A young man discovered a fried condom in his chicken.

[Ethan Klein]

He had to go to the emergency room.

[Hila Klein]

A fried condom inside the chicken.

[Ethan Klein]

Get your money back.

[Hila Klein]

The chicken that you eating, be very careful. You. You don't know what you might be consuming. That's right. Look at this freak. There's a freak in the kitchen putting condoms in the chicken.

[Ethan Klein]

Chicken strips.

[Hila Klein]

I mean, this is. This is a whole. Another level of choking and stroking the chicken here.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. Come on. That.

[Dan]

Keep doing it, dude.

[Ethan Klein]

But also, like, I thought it was

[Dan]

great the first time.

[Ethan Klein]

What did that lady do to deserve that kind of language, right? I mean, she.

[Hila Klein]

She.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what I mean?

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I think she's laughing. I can't tell. It's dark.

[Dan]

She looked more just like, ew. Like, why are you doing this?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan]

Okay. Well, she. That was the first time she heard the choke in the chicken.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan]

We love to flavor.

[Ethan Klein]

That's right.

[Hila Klein]

You might want to give it back. I wouldn't eat from here.

[Ethan Klein]

I wouldn't eat. I got all sis.

[Zach]

Yes, ma'.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Am.

[Dan]

Because, look, the proof is so funny.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah,

[Hila Klein]

yeah.

[Dan]

That's been made clear.

[Zach]

All right.

[Ethan Klein]

I think we get it.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, how does it end? Good question.

[Dan]

We're only halfway through.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Zach]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, I don't know. Let me Skip to the end. Is this the guy? They're just standing outside.

[Dan]

Wait, this is health. This looks like a health official hhs, brother.

[Hila Klein]

They breaking a chicken up. They got a condom in the chicken. Fried in the chicken.

[Ethan Klein]

Condom, brother.

[Hila Klein]

So my advice to you, be careful because we don't know what freak in the back is doggy styling the chicken doggy style.

[Dan]

He's getting more and more extreme.

[Ethan Klein]

He's not getting the laughs. He's not getting the. Yeah, exactly. It's for the love of the game.

[Dan]

He's pushing.

[Ethan Klein]

He's ramping up. I with it still. Somebody back there is a chicken.

[Zach]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Somebody back there is using a chicken like a Fleshlight. He just the out of it all day. Who deserves fried chicken meat? Not that chicken boy. Yeah, Nobody deserved that type of chicken.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah, because you eat this chicken, you might come up with some weird substances in your system. So I want you to be safe now. If you want to grab, it's on you. After seeing this video, I mean, I've heard of two piece special, but this is sick. Hip hop gonna get away from this. I'm going without. We appreciate you, brother. Stay safe. Yes, sir. Absolutely.

[Ethan Klein]

Stay safe, bro. Any final thoughts or words? Stay safe. We waiting to hear from this general?

[Hila Klein]

Well, the bottom line is we are sending notification to Popeyes. Shut this place down and conduct a thorough investigation. You have an employee in the back doing some sick madness with this chicken. This place could face a real civil lawsuit based on the freakish nature of an employee here at this particular establishment. Until they get to the bottom of it. Stop selling chicken here because people's health is at risk. Secondly, we want law enforcement to do a thorough investigation.

[Zach]

All right.

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, if it were true, I'd be sort of on his side, but after, like, three seconds of critically looking at that video, we all kind of concluded, yeah, that's not a condom.

[Ethan Klein]

Just show us.

[Zach]

I mean, at least it's not enough.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Yeah.

[Zach]

To certainly say that it is a condom.

[Dan]

And when there's an alternative explanation that is.

[Zach]

That is way more likely.

[Dan]

Way more likely to have happened. It's kind of hard to give them any credit. But I guess we can ask. We can ask if they have any more evidence on Wednesday.

[Ethan Klein]

Ethan, you know, I'm absolutely going to ask them. Yeah, I'm going to have a lot of hard questions for them.

[Hila Klein]

Okay.

[Dan]

Not too hard though, I hope, because I do. I do hope that we have a

[Ethan Klein]

long, not hard, respectful relationship. I will be. Let's say, what's the word I'll be respectfully inquisitive.

[Zach]

Okay.

[Dan]

Yeah, that's good.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Of course. I don't want to incur the wrath of Brother X and Dr. Professor Matthews. You know, I don't need them showing up outside our studio. This poem. This man here set us up for a phone call in which he was masturbating under the. Under the desk. You could tell just looking at the way his shoulder was moved.

[Hila Klein]

Bending over and showing everything on the video.

[Ethan Klein]

I have Tourette's. Oh, he say he have Tourette's, boy, but he was masturbating under the table.

[Hila Klein]

Could see what? Cellulite hanging in pubic hair.

[Ethan Klein]

Nice. How fun is that? Oh, we got to do Big Nikki.

[Dan]

Big Nikki.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's get to the Big.

[Dan]

We're almost out of time, though, so I don't. It's just a music video, so I

[Ethan Klein]

want to do Big Nick more than anything. So we got to get on.

[Dan]

All right, we'll get on it.

[Ethan Klein]

My boy Nick. Swahili or whatever Keswani kani Nick has wanted.

[Hila Klein]

Really?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. All right, let's see. Yeah. So we've been talking a little bit about Big Nick. He went on a pretty. Pretty insane rant with his homie Demon Eraser about a lot about Jews being essentially the, you know, genesis of everything bad on earth. The language. I've offered for them to call into the show to have a fruitful and lively debate about Ashkenazi Jews role in the society, but so far, they have not contacted me. So until then, Nick is seeing demons. And again, there is a. There's another thread to pull here, which is that we noticed that Nick, he. He looks like a little demon, and he sees demons and devils and all this types of. He might be the demon because the devil is the deceiver, the devil is the deceiver, but he shall come to you. Wow. As one way. Yeah. He is another. He comes to you like a piece of chicken without a condom in it. But he is a piece of. He is chicken with the cone. Anyway, here's the video. Saw the devil. Let's see. I saw the devil, and he was a Jewish man. He was wearing a yamka.

[Hila Klein]

Amen.

[Ethan Klein]

Saw the devil, baby. Demons really heavy. The, like, big. Like, they had a lot of mass. That's a big demon, boy. He was big.

[Dan]

Think heavy, like the Back to the Future. Heavy, heavy, man.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Oh, he's the devil. Saw the devil in my beer. He just says it.

[Dan]

He just admit it.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. And that. That's the thing. They're always. What they're saying is like, oh yeah, they. Part of the Illuminati thing is they have to flaunt it in your face as part of the dark magic. Nick just started his music video by saying I saw the devil in the

[Dan]

I looked in a mirror and I saw the devil. You are the devil, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

Just admit it, bro. Demon Eraser, you're snoozing on your co host.

[Dan]

Demon Eraser did say that doing those exorcisms was also letting demons in.

[Ethan Klein]

He has not done.

[Dan]

And Big Nick played Zach a lie by omission and did not point out the fact that he was a repeated participant in that.

[Ethan Klein]

You're not going to tell Demon Eraser that you're the responsible for that sound. That's you. That's you, Nick. That's that hellish sound is you, my friend.

[Dan]

He's just thinking

[Ethan Klein]

demons really heavy up in James I used to cope with a ton of drugs for a saw the devil in my thought I was alone know what to call I was making all this money but it didn't soud tears Then I met the Lord he I'm free me from my fears Now I see a say when I look up in a mirror Kingdom got me fitted like I got a summer mirror Demons really have me up in my.

[Dan]

Why does he say mirror like that?

[Ethan Klein]

Mayor he's going to rear. Oh, wait.

[Dan]

He says devil in my rear. He says in my rear end.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude, rare. Rare in my rear. You didn't say mirror. Why are you lying saying you said mirror. Hold on, hold on. There's two things happening here. I have the closed captions and his subtitles on. There's a thing like, like, bro, I get that you love God and Jesus and all that stuff, but like, this is the like fifth time you've made the same song.

[Dan]

I wouldn't really be so sure that he loves Jesus.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, you love the devil, you love one or the other. I don't know what. Yeah, but either way, you made the same song like five times. And that's the problem with these like super religious people. They just read the same book over and over and over and over and over and over. It was over. It's like, guys, how about Moby Dick?

[Dan]

You know it's Melville. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

How about some Count of Monte Crisco? Crisco. Cristo.

[Zach]

Crisco.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, let's. Let's bright broaden our horizons here, people.

[Dan]

Right? Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow. Write about something else, bro. Please. If you want to walk in my shoes, make sure you Have a size four.

[Dan]

I knew that's where that was at.

[Ethan Klein]

You ain't going to fit in my shoes. A size 4. If you have a 7 year old child, maybe walk in my shoes.

[Dan]

Wait, wait, wait. Do you want to. Do you want to wrap that in a red space like Big Nick?

[Ethan Klein]

You guys got me set up there, huh?

[Dan]

We do got me set.

[Ethan Klein]

Can you cut to it? We got fog.

[Dan]

We do.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, let me finish it. Hey, I got. I'm just. I'm. I'm just gonna be really. I'm just gonna make really dumb jokes about him being little. It's gonna be horrible. If you really saw the evil in the world, you realize there's a reason that I had to take a stance. Now I'm stepping with a spirit might just do a dance. I go pray to Jesus yeah he take me in a trance God set me free and all it took was he says Jesus put him in a trance. That sounds demonic. B. Jesus should have your ass woken up, not in a trance. Years then I met the Lord he done bring me for my fears Now I see a say when I look up in a mirror Kingdom got me fitted like I got on some demons really had me up in chains I used to cope with a ton of drugs Where I saw the devil in my ear Thought I was alone didn't have no one to call I was making all this money but it did sounded tears Then I'm in the Lord he done free me from my fears Now I see a saying when I look up. All right, Nick, I. I honestly, I don't. I don't know what to add to that. I'll be honest. I'll try. I don't. I don't know that I'll have anything good here, guys, so don't get your hopes up. I don't know what's about to happen. I'm going let. I'm just going to let. I'm going to let God pick the wheel. What's going over there? I did. I think it just needs to. To load the smoke for a minute. There you go. All right, guys, I'm just gonna let Jesus take the wheel. I'm gonna let go. How's it look? How's the lighting?

[Hila Klein]

All right.

[Ethan Klein]

Am I singing about Jesus or anything? Does it have to be about Big Nick? Oh, God. Yeah. I got the ogre warrior going through nor wrath. Gonna get a mount. Gonna mount you Little Nick. That's gross. That's bad. That's not forgot. I'm sorry, but I want to mount Nick. He's Big Nick. But I'll make him feel like my little. I can't do this yet. I'm way too tired. All right, all right. Here we go. Yeah. All right. Here was something about being yo, get together with my Jewish boys, make a conspiracy. Make some noise. I'm in Nick's closet planning bad things. I have. I put specials in his food. I put Carson, Nick, Gin's in baby food. I made Nick's closet saying, going

[Hila Klein]

to

[Ethan Klein]

the devil, speaking in the middle of the night. Yeah, this is dumb. Why do you guys make me do this with no plan?

[Dan]

No plan?

[Ethan Klein]

There's no. I had no. I have no lines.

[Dan]

Bro, you're the rapper.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm not. Okay, good point. Okay, I woke up and I saw a demon. I heard a demon. I felt the demons present on me. And then I looked around and see it's Big Nick. But he is so small. Little impish boy. And he thinks he's tall, but he's not. Yeah, Jesus, make him think he's tall, but he's not. He's small like a little mouse. You ever walk a mile in his shoes? You can, because you're not five years old. What do you have the feet of an ant? Sorry again. That's what I said. It was just going to be making fun of his. His stature. But don't worry, don't feel bad for Nick, because he really is one of the most hateful, vitriolic pieces of shit ever. Honestly, bro, I already did. That was the first thing I did. Tomorrow goes like, rap about every quest. I was like, girl, you've been. You missed. I could do more. All right, here we go. Here we go. I'm slow, Slow poke Rolling through the mountains of Nora Headed to low lower gunk Gonna mine some short swords of your cash A flowing black silk sash Gonna mine all the XP and platinum Hook my boys up it's family, Family, family, family Throw your hands up Forward slash cheer, everybody's lit Forward slash cheer, everybody's lit wow. Gonna get a cloak of flames. And then I'm gonna go through to Solacec B and I'm gonna see. What's that? It's little Nick. He's running around in Solacec B with the other D. Means. Oh,

[Zach]

wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo, this is really bad. I'm sorry. No, this is awful.

[Dan]

This is crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

Nick won the rap battle. He's not even here. Well, to be fair, he he for it's not. And by the way, feel free to take a stab at it. If everyone blame you, I Blame. I blame Dan tomorrow. You ever free?

[Zach]

Absolutely not.

[Ethan Klein]

I think maybe you wanted to. No, man. Okay, no.

[Dan]

See that?

[Ethan Klein]

Nobody. Nobody even wants to try. Okay, maybe I took a shot and missed. But you know what, Ab? Well, how many shots do you miss? 100%. Of what? How about instead of 100% of the shots you take? You always miss what you say? I said, how about instead, try, you just say, bye.

[Zach]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ethan Klein]

That's more rhyming than you did in your whole set. So. So that's your advice to the people at home.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Okay?

[Ethan Klein]

If you're going to talk about say bye. There you go. Inspirational words from A.B. by the way. Not even a great. But who picked this beat? Probably Zach, who picked this beat. It was the closest thing to his song. It's just for the same. It's like. It has. Like this. I got no motion, bro. That's what his song is. Good artists can rap over anything. This.

[Dan]

It's not about the beat.

[Ethan Klein]

Come do it then. Come rap. Who's next? Oh, let's see. Here comes that. Okay, all right. Unexpected. I mean, shout out to the. To the challenger. Here you go. Oh, he's going back. Okay. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, it's okay. He's going back to make sure it's looping. Zach. All right, Zach's stepping up. Here we go, Mr. Bernstein. I feel insane in the membrane like I'm Little Nick, I got a big dick up in your face. I'm Popeye's chicken going pow, pow, pow. The devil's right here going mao, mao, yo. I'm Big Nick. I got a foggy eye but sometimes I just say goodbye. I'm going pow, pow, pow. Chicken going cluck, cluck, cluck.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Mic drop. Wow, that was epic. Yeah, that was good.

[Hila Klein]

Wow.

[Zach]

Oh, my God. That guy is so cool.

[Ethan Klein]

You wrote.

[Zach]

Oh, hold up.

[Ethan Klein]

I got something to say. I got something. Are you guys watching? Wait, hold on. Light him up. I just want to take a moment to apologize for all my Caucasian co workers. I'm sorry for everything you just saw. I. I don't know what to say. I just had to say something. Bro, you cannot. No, no, no. That is the lamest shit ever, bro. You cannot say that. And by the way, your white ass. You literally. I can't even hear you guys. You're white ass.

[Dan]

Literally.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Now, I don't understand you.

[Zach]

I don't understand what? Just why he did. What?

[Ethan Klein]

Because he. Because he's apologizing for his white co workers? Because he is apparently Mr. He's Mr. Diversity now. You know what I realized? I am now in this office. Yes, you're one. You know, you've now apologize for yourself.

[Zach]

I bet my dad is way darker than anyone that you are even remotely related to.

[Ethan Klein]

Only a white person would say that. But my dad. My dad's darker than your dad. Yo, my dad's darker than your dad.

[Zach]

Let's have a dad.

[Dan]

Dark.

[Ethan Klein]

Hila's dad was pretty dark. Pretty dark.

[Zach]

So darker than my dad.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo, my dad is sweating.

[Zach]

Yes, he was.

[Ethan Klein]

He's probably about the same color as her dad. Eh?

[Zach]

I think darker.

[Ethan Klein]

Potentially got a dark dad.

[Zach]

So I guess AB's that guy now. Hey. Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Well done, Zach. That was. That was good. Thank you. Thank you very much. Mr. Bernstein, stepping up. Well, you know what it is? It's the Jews had to step up and DJ Dreidel, bro. We channeled Satan. Fucking drop it on him, dumbass. Little fucking Nick. Little Nick. I mean, again, don't feel bad. He's like, the biggest asshole in the world. He's like such a piece of shit like that.

[Dan]

You have to keep reminding people.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, because we are very. Being very mean to him.

[Hila Klein]

Him.

[Ethan Klein]

So if you didn't have the con.

[Dan]

I haven't been mean to him.

[Zach]

You want to go, dude, that was so cool.

[Dan]

I haven't said thank you tomorrow, one word.

[Ethan Klein]

Why do you keep saying. I mean, it was cool, but, like,

[Zach]

what I did, it was so awesome.

[Ethan Klein]

It was cool because he doesn't always

[Zach]

participate, and he did it, and he was. Then he did it, you know, he really did it.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you, Tamara. I appreciate that. Yeah, that was good. He committed. Thank you. You know, why are you just gonna keep saying, like, how cool it is?

[Zach]

I'll turn my mic up.

[Ethan Klein]

Because at a certain point, you just. You got to move on.

[Zach]

You did great, too, from what I saw. Yeah, you. I. You tried more than I did.

[Ethan Klein]

You didn't even see. You literally came up and you're like, why don't you rap about EverQuest? I was like, I already did, bro. Getting lower.

[Zach]

I'm sorry. I'm having an off day.

[Ethan Klein]

I had a pretty good. I had some bars about Lower Duck.

[Dan]

It was all right.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, Meet me in the East Common tunnels.

[Dan]

You want to try it again?

[Ethan Klein]

No.

[Dan]

That's why they call me the top funnel, baby.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo, that's sick. Anyway, what the, bro? How long we been going?

[Dan]

We've been going for three and a half hours almost on the dock. Let me thank some of our super chatters. And then we'll get going.

[Ethan Klein]

This one's funny. I'm just gonna pull this up.

[Hila Klein]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Shout out to Myron's ex who's found herself a true chatted out king. Look at that. And they all. Look at that barbecue spread. You think Myron's treating her ass to ribs? This is a man that can afford ribs, bro. You know what I'm saying? Barbecue is not cheap. Is this a skull dessert?

[Zach]

Oh, that's dope.

[Ethan Klein]

I've never seen that before. That is really cool, but also a bit. It's a bit on the nose. Gotta have them ribs, cuz. This is not a healthy looking meal, you know what I mean?

[Dan]

That is not like that heart attack restaurant, right?

[Ethan Klein]

No, but this guy lives. He's fine. That guy lives. That guy's probably on Peptides A through Z, bro. He's probably fucking. Probably running a pharmacy in his blood. Sick. Shout out. Myron bro really knows how to hold on to a lady. George Janko.

[Zach]

Whatever.

[Ethan Klein]

Who cares about him? I guess let's. Oh, rfk. Rfk. Is this one good? I never. I didn't get to watch any of it.

[Zach]

I heard it was good.

[Dan]

I mean, I'm sure it's good, but

[Zach]

I think it's probably too late to start a whole new.

[Ethan Klein]

Let me just catch a clip.

[Dan]

Oh, we should really wrap it up.

[Ethan Klein]

I just want a clip.

[Zach]

All the blame on the COVID pandemic and the way responded to it squarely with Dr. Fauci. But of course he worked for President Trump. Does President Trump also deserve some of the blame?

[Ethan Klein]

Well, Trump, as you recall, wanted to. And lockdowns. I think the thing that did the

[Dan]

most damage to our country was the lockdowns.

[Ethan Klein]

Lockdowns that shut down 3.5 million businesses. He's successfully not answered the question already. He's already not answered the question. I mean, she asked a good question. Trump was president. He goes, well, Trump technically didn't want the lockdowns, which by the way, were awful. Everybody hated them. Country with no due process, no just compensation.

[Dan]

All of our churches closed.

[Ethan Klein]

Our think of our churches, our children are still paying the price for that.

[Dan]

And we had the worst outcome of any country in the world.

[Zach]

How so?

[Ethan Klein]

We have the highest death rate from COVID of any nation on earth.

[Zach]

Well, let me just. Let me just say. Because I've heard you say that before on the death rate from COVID That's

[Ethan Klein]

not accurate because

[Zach]

public health experts say that there is a combination of factors.

[Dan]

You're not even watching the video. What is happening?

[Ethan Klein]

I'm listening. I'm totally listening. She's about to shred him.

[Dan]

The show is over. We're at three and a half hours. You're starting a new segment, and then you just stop paying attention.

[Ethan Klein]

I am. I am literally listening.

[Zach]

He was actually listening, Dan. I know you looked at. He was actually just staring at his watch, but he was listening.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Let's wrap it up. You know, when you guys try to make me stop, it just makes me want to go longer.

[Dan]

Let's wrap it up.

[Ethan Klein]

You want more hot? You want more clips, love? No, I got enough. Yeah, we can watch it on Wednesday. I do want to watch it. It sounds really interesting. It sounds like she actually shreds him pretty hard based on the tone already. All right.

[Zach]

My God.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, go ahead, Dan.

[Dan]

All right, let me just take a handful of people. I saw Big Nick at the Dallas Museum of art spending, like 45 minutes in the Greek artifacts section yesterday looking at cock. Expect some weird ancient Greek demon ritual content soon. Oh, interesting. A little insight into his future plans.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude, he was definitely looking at Greek cock.

[Dan]

Yeah, for that gay. Hey, let me call. I don't know the number, though. Well, no, you'd know the number if you were.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, I didn't take a call today.

[Zach]

Lead.

[Dan]

Yeah, too late.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, they'll. Oh, here. Hello, There's Ethan Klein speaking.

[Zach]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank God.

[Zach]

Hey, girl. How are you?

[Ethan Klein]

Hey. How are you?

[Zach]

So good.

[Hila Klein]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

You know Froggy Fresh? Yeah, Froggy Fresh. That's the sink. The singer guy. Or is that the white rapper we're talking about? That was the guy who was in Gonna be in Creator Class. Yeah, I know Froggy Fresh. He asked me for a ride home

[Dan]

from one of his concerts in, like, 2017.

[Ethan Klein]

He asked you for a ride home from his own concert? Yeah. That's hilarious. That's how we do it in Utah, baby. Even our artist ain't got Utah shout out. Utah Chat. Well, how was the. Did you give him a ride home? Absolutely.

[Hila Klein]

Thanks.

[Ethan Klein]

And how was it?

[Zach]

Oh, my God.

[Dan]

It was kind of awkward.

[Ethan Klein]

He live like an hour or.

[Dan]

Not live, but his hotel was like, an hour away.

[Ethan Klein]

The hell? Also, sorry, I have Covid right now. What the hell? I thought that was done.

[Dan]

You can catch that through the phone.

[Ethan Klein]

Ah, I know. I hung up.

[Zach]

Oh, my God.

[Dan]

I don't think that's true, but.

[Ethan Klein]

Scared me.

[Dan]

Oh, okay.

[Ethan Klein]

That's all right. That's our head of health and services there. You see? If he knows it. If he doesn't know it, somebody everybody knows. I look forward to Speaking with you on Wednesday. Did I get you at the salt? Can you feel from that far away?

[Dan]

It doesn't. It won't project that far.

[Zach]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

Miss me, bitch.

[Dan]

All right, listen up, Ethan. Ashkenazi Jews have around 50% Italian admixture ancestry from, like, the second century A.D. so you're kind of 50% Italian.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what. Yeah, exactly. Thank you.

[Dan]

So there you go.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what I meant. That's kind of what I was trying to get.

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can give a shout out to my daughter Taylor. We love the show. Y' all missed her $50 donation on her birthday.

[Zach]

Oh, no.

[Dan]

I don't know how that happened. I'm sorry. But happy birthday to Taylor Tay.

[Ethan Klein]

Taylor, we love you. Happy birthday.

[Dan]

Can see if I can find that.

[Ethan Klein]

So sorry about that.

[Dan]

Taylor. See a $20 donation from somebody named Taylor, but that's a pretty common name, so. Well, I'm sorry about that. And happy birthday.

[Ethan Klein]

Was that all it said? It's just. You missed another.

[Dan]

I said it's their birthday and they want to shout out we love you,

[Ethan Klein]

and I'm so sorry. Feel free to charge back YouTube if you didn't. If you didn't get your money's worth, but we try our best.

[Dan]

And that's from Weary Raven, so thank you. Speaking of $50, here's a 50 British pound sterling from Annie.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Mum.

[Dan]

You know they're British because they say mum.

[Ethan Klein]

Mummy.

[Dan]

Mummy used to teach sucks Ed. I think they meant. I think they mean sex ed.

[Ethan Klein]

That's one way to put it.

[Dan]

Yeah. S U, X, ed.

[Ethan Klein]

Forget them, dude. I want to suck his dick.

[Dan]

There you go. Suck ed. And had them label rubber. One kid who never tried did an amazing job. So she tried to laminate it for display the roller, squeezed it out of the pouch, heated it up and stretched it two feet long. The smell of hot lib and melted latex. I h. Are you speaking in code? Like half of this?

[Zach]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

I wasn't sure if it was the way you were reading it or what happened.

[Dan]

You tell me.

[Ethan Klein]

Thought I was having a stroke. Something about.

[Dan]

They just sent it in. Chat. You can see.

[Ethan Klein]

Mom used to teach sex ed.

[Dan]

Sucks.

[Ethan Klein]

Had them. Had them label rubber. One kid who never tried didn't. Amazing job. She tried to laminate it for display. The roller squeezed it out the pouch, heated it up and stretched it two feet long. The room so they stretched. So they, I guess, had a contest to see who could stretch out a latex condom. The furthest someone did it two feet long and her mom Who's a teacher wanted to laminate it two feet.

[Hila Klein]

Okay.

[Dan]

I think you actually decoded that successfully. Yeah, that totally.

[Ethan Klein]

I got it.

[Dan]

I followed it that time, but. All right. Good job.

[Hila Klein]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, two feet, I mean, that's pretty long. Well, yeah.

[Dan]

I mean, yeah, for it to stretch,

[Ethan Klein]

but I feel like it's not. I feel like you can stretch a condom two feet easily. Right? That's what I was getting. Maybe she means 2 meters.

[Dan]

I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't got enough dick for only fans, bro, because. Yeah, I mean, two feet, I think you could easily stretch a condom. 100%. Yeah. Holes in your story. Hopefully not holes in your condom.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ethan Klein]

Hey, come on. Come on.

[Dan]

All right, Sam Checo said, longtime fan here. I've been watching from the hospital while my girlfriend Olivia recovers from an obstruction in her bowels. Oh, no. It's been a rough couple days, but would love for a sound bite of Zach's choosing to cheer her up for a girl. Olivia.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's get those bowels clear. Clear about that. Oh, yeah. No, that's the sound of valves being cleared right there, my friend. That right there. Push that for you.

[Dan]

Here's another one. DNA is a scam. Reasons, if it's an acid and is in my body, then why doesn't it give me acid burns? And two, if DNA decodes codes for amino acids, who creates proteins? Then why am I. Then why am I not jacked? Checkmate.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, atheists. I mean.

[Dan]

Yeah, I added the atheist part, but it was kind of the same sentiment.

[Hila Klein]

Right.

[Ethan Klein]

One sec here. Hello. This even. How can I help you?

[Dan]

See, I tried to.

[Ethan Klein]

I like the. I like it.

[Dan]

Yeah, but you didn't even. You like. You just pick it up and you're holding it.

[Ethan Klein]

I know.

[Zach]

Hello.

[Ethan Klein]

Hi, how are you? How can I help you?

[Zach]

I'm good.

[Ethan Klein]

And I actually have a slight complaint. Go ahead. Reach the right number for that. I called in last week and I

[Dan]

was so excited, but we were talking

[Ethan Klein]

about Lindsey Graham's ladybug. Yeah. How do I tell people that I talk to you? But that's what we talked about. You're saying I did talk to you about Lady Graham's. Yes, and we. And you want to tell people that you talked to me about the. Why don't you say that? Say that I got to talk to you, but then they ask what we talked about. Just say lady. Just say Lindsey Graham's taint. Yeah, yeah, I tried that. But just say we talked about politics. Say we talked about politics. That's a good idea. All right. Rest in peace to. To lady Graham Gooch Family Farms. All right. Thanks for the call. Bye. Bye.

[Zach]

All right.

[Ethan Klein]

There you go. Helped her. That was odd. Strange.

[Dan]

I think I get it. We got a resolution to that. That's nice. Let's see. Tyler van Sant donated $50 and said, Dan, I messed up on the first dono. Oh, okay. Well, just read that one. Advertise with me using the grocery stores in James neighborhood. I see what you mean about you messed that up.

[Ethan Klein]

That's not going to make any sense. I saw people on the Starbucks club. They. They think I should put it on like a receipt. You know, the super long receipts at grocery stores. There's no way they're doing that. No, no. No way. Nor would I want to. Yeah, that's like. That's wild. That's wild even for me.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Or like, you know, like you can. The shopping cart ads. Yeah. Like the seat.

[Hila Klein]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God.

[Dan]

I mean, it is a.

[Hila Klein]

Funny.

[Dan]

I don't mean to fully dismiss your idea, but it's just. I don't think any grocery store would agree. Never taking on that cause, so. But I appreciate the donation.

[Ethan Klein]

Absolutely.

[Dan]

Sorry. Sorry that you. I mean, you said you messed it up, but we.

[Hila Klein]

It.

[Dan]

It came across. We understood. So there you go. Well, shout out to you. Lexi says, as far as I'm concerned, Ethan and Dan say balders. Weird. When saying Baldur's Gate.

[Ethan Klein]

Baldurs. Well, Baldur's Gate.

[Dan]

I think they said Ethan and Dan. But I don't say it like that.

[Ethan Klein]

You just. I'm saying it right. You saying like bald.

[Dan]

Balders.

[Ethan Klein]

But it's Baldur's gate. B, A, U, L. Are you sure? I know you're saying, am I? Well, let's. Let's ask Google.

[Dan]

I thought it was boulders. Gay balls.

[Ethan Klein]

It's B, A, L, D E, R, S, right? Yeah. Balders.

[Dan]

I was Boulders.

[Ethan Klein]

No, it's not boulders.

[Dan]

Boulders. Balders.

[Ethan Klein]

How to say boulders? Oh, no, it's not. Sorry, I missed notes. B, A, L, D U, R. Right? Yeah. It says Baldor.

[Dan]

Balder.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, see here?

[Dan]

Rhymes with order.

[Ethan Klein]

Or Balders. Balders. Who cares, man?

[Dan]

Yeah, I don't care.

[Ethan Klein]

Hi. That's Ethan. Hello.

[Zach]

Hello?

[Ethan Klein]

Hi, Ethan. Hi. Can I help you? Yeah, I guess that's a quick question. Everyone sound the same? Am I tripping?

[Zach]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Sorry about that, love. They can hear you now. Yeah, they can hear you. Yeah.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm so sorry about that. Go ahead with your question.

[Zach]

Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you so much.

[Zach]

So I talked to Zach earlier, actually. Hi, Zach, this is Corkerborg.

[Ethan Klein]

I have a question about future edits that I want to do. I did the boys night and the

[Zach]

poker night edit, but I don't want

[Ethan Klein]

Ethan to start doing watch talk in the middle of it. So how do I go about blurring the watches?

[Dan]

Oh, I would advise using the tracking feature in either Premiere or if it's a little too complicated, you can take it into After Effects and I would just set up some sort of track and then in After Effects you would pin the blur area.

[Ethan Klein]

But what did she edit? What did she edit?

[Dan]

She edited some fan edits of some of some of our fans favorite episodes and she just doesn't want you mucking them up with your. Your. With your watch.

[Ethan Klein]

That's your prerogative. You can, you can edit the watch. Can AI do that by now?

[Dan]

I was about to say, like, the advice I'm giving is probably a little outmoded.

[Ethan Klein]

Like on Premiere now you can just be like, edit out the watch and apparently it does it right.

[Dan]

It's that simple.

[Zach]

But I just don't use AI personally, so.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, it's not. AI is like a catch all. Like, it's just. It's a tool that. That built into.

[Dan]

Yeah, I mean it's. It's really just a more advanced version of the tracking that's been in After Effects and Premiere for years. But yeah, it is getting quite advanced to the point that you can have it quick select things. But if you really want it to be a clean job, which I encourage you to do because it is important to remove the wall.

[Ethan Klein]

Thanks for the call.

[Dan]

All right, Ethan's hanging up now. Bye.

[Ethan Klein]

We get it. I swear it's just the same person calling it. It does kind of say. That's kind of someone edit together every call. Like just a second of like a snippet of each call. This is the new dead Internet theory.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Could be one caller.

[Dan]

Just one caller over and over and over again.

[Ethan Klein]

That be cool. Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

[Dan]

Okay, you got to get out of here. I'm just going to read this final one. Thank you to everybody who donated. I'm sorry if I. I did not get to your super chat.

[Ethan Klein]

We're working on it, but thank you guys so much. If it's your birthday and you donated $50 and we missed. I'm so sorry.

[Dan]

I am sorry. In that one case, they donated again and then we retroactively.

[Ethan Klein]

We shouldn't have to do that. Yeah, yeah, all of them were. So Dan is very sorry.

[Dan]

Well, I did go look back and I wasn't able to find it. It could be.

[Hila Klein]

Sorry.

[Ethan Klein]

No, they could be doing a fast one.

[Zach]

Sorry.

[Ethan Klein]

You have one more. Come on, bro.

[Dan]

One more. Here it is. Gianna says I'm finally getting my top surgery next Tuesday. Can I get Fred Durst effed up chest in honor family?

[Ethan Klein]

Interesting.

[Dan]

That is very funny.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what I'm talking about. Let's go.

[Andrew Tate's Lawyer]

All right.

[Dan]

Hope it goes.

[Ethan Klein]

Good luck with that one there. Thanks for watching. Thank you to everybody for watching. Had a lot of fun here. We're gonna see you guys all in Noras, of course, the Mythical World of EverQuest. Tomorrow's Tuesday. True crime Tuesday. I don't know. Am I going to be there tomorrow? We have another short week because we're going to Santa Cruz on. We're going back to Santa Cruz with our kids to visit Oliver's parents and to visit the. The gravesite. But we want to take our kids there since their summer is about to end and just have, like, one more little family trip. So we are leaving on Thursday. Yeah, so am I. And I don't know. Tune in tomorrow. It's true crime. I might be there. I might not. Who knows? Google it. And also, that's about it. So Wednesday, we'll be back having a normal day, but tune in tomorrow. And with that being said, guys, is Ethan Klein in the gang wishing you all the very, very, very best. And we'll see see all tomorrow. Thanks for watching, everybody. Damn.

[Hila Klein]

Bread.

[Zach]

Bread.