Perez Hilton's Disturbing TikTok Livestream - H3 Show #293

Summary

H3 Podcast #293 – Perez Hilton’s Disturbing TikTok Livestream (Aug 5, 2026)

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, Ethan Klein and the H3 crew discuss a range of internet culture topics, current events, and personal updates, but the central focus is on a disturbing recent incident involving Perez Hilton livestreaming a graphic episode of self-harm on TikTok. The team provides context on Perez Hilton, their reaction to the livestream, broader implications for mental health and platform moderation, and takeaways for the online community. The episode also features their usual mix of offbeat humor, personal stories, pop-culture tangents, and community interactions.

---

Main Discussion Points

1. Podcast and Crew Banter (00:00–13:00)

• Opening Chatter: Ethan opens with the usual sponsor callouts, jokes about EverQuest, and banter about show scheduling and crew time off.
• EverQuest Guild Updates: Playful updates on the in-game exploits of the H3 crew and listeners, including character names and legendary loot.
• Polls on Time Off: Ethan jokes about taking time off the show to play EverQuest, showing his engagement with the audience's preferences in real-time.
  • Quote:
    "Should Ethan take Friday off and play EverQuest all day? Yes or no?" (21:21, Dan)

2. Viral Culture & Podcast News (13:00–33:00)

• James Charles Billboard Recap: Ethan recounts his previous stunts targeting James Charles, including the infamous billboard and recent postcard mail campaign to raise awareness about allegations.
  • Notable Quote:
    "Unfortunately for James, we got our $10,000 back so we decided to find an even better way to bring attention to his misdeeds." (20:03, Ethan)
• Goofs and Internet Weirdness:
  • Goat chiropractor video rabbit hole.
  • Reflections on AI-generated streaming content—"AI Slop" movies on Roku.
• Mario Lopez’s Controversial AI Video: Discussion on a bizarre AI-generated video posted by Mario Lopez featuring his niece and a hot dog—met with confusion and criticism by the crew.
  • Notable Quote:
    "I found the whole thing, like, bizarrely suggestive." (114:01, Ethan)

3. Right-Wing Comedy and Internet Trends (84:00–96:00)

• Right-Wing Grifter Merch: Satirical take-downs of Rob Schneider’s “Tears of the Left” bourbon and Daily Wire grift products.
• Decline of Right-Wing Influencers: The crew reference recent NYT articles and charted statistics showing declining viewership for key right-wing media figures.
  • Notable Quote:
    "I think the MAGA media machine is fracturing." (93:37, Galia/Dan)
• Community Engagement: Lighthearted Star Wars trivia, EverQuest guild Q&A, and personal shoutouts.

---

MAIN STORY: Perez Hilton’s Disturbing TikTok Livestream (166:03–207:59)

[Trigger warning: self-harm and mental health crisis]

Who Is Perez Hilton? (167:07–168:36)

• Brief background: Perez Hilton, real name Mario Lavandeira Jr., was the OG celebrity gossip blogger with a snarky, mean-spirited flair, known for “drawing” on paparazzi photos and catalyzing early 2000s internet gossip culture.
• Past controversies include outing closeted celebrities and tabloid-level personal attacks (173:45).

What Happened? (169:31–175:59)

• On August 4, Perez Hilton livestreamed himself on TikTok performing graphic self-harm for over 40 minutes.
• Viewers described him as “looking like something out of Hellraiser,” covered in blood and making flirtatious gestures to the camera while harming himself with a serrated bread knife (171:37).
• Despite waves of audience reports, TikTok did not take down the stream for 40 minutes, and Perez only received aid after viewers called emergency services. (187:27)

Crew Reaction:

• Ethan: “It is the most insane thing I’ve ever seen on the internet… I urge you guys NOT to look for that video.”
• Shock at TikTok’s slow moderation and the possibility that human error caused the livestream to remain up so long (192:28).

Context & Build-Up (176:57–185:55)

• Perez had exhibited alarming behavior in months prior:
  • March: Hospitalized for 21 days due to sepsis from ibuprofen-induced stomach ulcers. He has since claimed to have “seen God” during his near-death experience (179:20).
  • April–June: Posts on mental health struggles, religious delusions, and feeling compelled by God to move to Miami.
  • June 28: Public admission of “falling off the wagon in every sense,” combining a relapse, spiritual crisis, and isolation.
• “He was crying a lot, talking about God saving him, going live and just documenting everything raw.” (197:36)

Viewer Calls, TikTok’s Response, and Platform Accountability (187:21–194:11)

• Call logs show police struggled to find Perez’s new address, with four hours between the first call and his hospitalization. Luckily, he survived.
• TikTok issued a statement citing “moderator error” for the slow takedown, admitting AI had flagged the stream but a human reviewer failed to act for an extended period.
  • “It got reported and picked up pretty fast. And then…someone approved it.” (202:09, Ethan)
  • “The AI can see a dick, but that’s not enough?”—on whether nudity or blood should have triggered auto-removal.

Broader Conversation: Is This a Platform Problem? (200:04–205:51)

• Crew debate whether TikTok’s failure was human error or systemic.
• Reflection: “This kind of thing CAN happen on lives—you can’t prevent everything. But 40 minutes? Unacceptable.” (200:04, Ethan)

Notable Quotes:

• "I heard about it before TikTok from my subreddit, dude." (187:35, Ethan)
• “I can’t believe TikTok is keeping this up.” (195:29, Perez as quoted by Ethan)
• "The irony of him asking for privacy now is pretty glaring." (203:51, Ethan on Perez’s team statement)

Mental Health, Compassion, and Final Thoughts (205:42–207:59)

• Ethan affirms the importance of mental health support, plans a donation to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, and posts resources for those who may be struggling.

• Crew reflects on the complexity of watching infamous internet figures face crises and urges compassion amid legitimate criticism of Perez’s past.

• Closing thoughts center on hope for Perez's recovery and for better platform policies.

  • Key Message:
    "Hopefully something good comes of it…luckily he didn’t unalive himself, and people didn’t have to see that. He’ll have an opportunity to get better.” (198:41, Ethan)

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “You’re talking about TikTok. If I say James Charles, that gets removed in five minutes. But Perez Hilton can cover himself in blood for 40 minutes?” (170:12, Ethan)
• On Perez’s snarky past:
  “This guy spent his whole life breaching, exploiting, and just shitting on people. Now it’s ‘please respect our privacy.’ The irony…” (203:51, Ethan)
• "That [God] thing—it’s a little delusional to say you saw God… but up until then, he’s been a model of mental health?" (180:42, Ethan)
• On TikTok’s statement:
  “The moderation system flagged the live stream minutes after it started, but a moderator error caused a delay in its removal. Dude, someone approved it.” (192:28, Ethan)

---

Important Segment Timestamps

• Perez Hilton TikTok Incident Begins: 166:03
• Perez’s Background & Snark Era: 167:07–174:00
• Mental Health History & Hospitalization: 176:57–181:14
• TikTok’s Response and Platform Critique: 187:21–194:11
• Crew Discussion, Reactions, and Takeaways: 198:41–207:59

---

Tone & Language

• Tone:
  True to the H3 style—irreverent, emotive, and honest. The crew balances satire and humor with sensitivity during heavier topics.
• Language:
  Unfiltered conversational style, with both compassionate and critical takes on Perez Hilton, TikTok, and the culture of online spectacle.

---

Key Takeaways/Closing Thoughts

• Perez Hilton, a foundational yet notorious internet presence, experienced a severe public mental health crisis on TikTok, exposing gaps in platform moderation and raising questions about the risks of live streaming in the age of algorithmic feeds.
• Platform policies remain ill-equipped to promptly respond to real-time emergencies, even as AI is widely used for less severe infractions.
• There is space for both compassion for those in crisis and recognition of their past harms—while also pushing for greater accountability from platforms like TikTok.
• The episode closes with a reminder to seek help if struggling, a call to donate to mental health charities, and the crew wishing Perez and others well.

---

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, there is help. Reach out to a professional, a helpline, or a loved one. You are not alone.

---

[End of Summary]

Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for, from a browse to a bike ride this summer. Find more on Facebook. What is up, people of the Internet? Ethan Klein coming at you live from. Sorry, beautiful Los angeles. That's right. August 5, 2026. Today we are sponsored by Whiskers. Oh, my cat owners. Today we've got a lot to talk about. Some funny stuff, some shocking stuff, some sad stuff, but always with an even head and a cool, collected mind. And always with EverQuest on our mind. This is the H3 show. Thank you, Zach. Now you. Now we're talking. I hear the boys are all collected in the common tunnels. Saw a picture on the subreddit. It's looking lit out there. I don't want to get too much into EverQuest here, guys. Right at the top again. But I will say that everywhere I go in the world of Norath, there is a family member somewhere. Have you noticed that, Dan? Like, we are. We are crawling the whole earth, and there's always someone there to like. I grouped up and did some amazing farming with two legendary guild members last night. Shout out to Frogu and Gobo. Yeah. Now, we did some incredible farming together. It was big. We bounced between Nagina. No, was it Nagina? We bounced from Nagina. Dan Vagina. Then we went to Kazakh Thule, and then we ended in split pot. Absolutely. Legendary farming.

[B]

Whirlwind tour. Wild it was.

[A]

You'd be surprised what three boys, what three little boys on. On Difficulty four can get done. And I'm so glad I went up to difficulty four down, because I got, like, 15 greater moats, which I desperately needed. Wow.

[B]

15.

[A]

Yeah. Yes.

[B]

Unbelievable.

[A]

It is. You know, one of those brings a level one spell up to four.

[B]

Sure does. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, that's correct.

[A]

How's your. How you doing over there? Not. That's Dan's name. Not.

[C]

Not.

[B]

Well, you wanted me to go check out the gathering of the troops again, so I'm. I'm actually logging in right now to make my way over there.

[A]

How exciting. Well, keep us updated on that.

[B]

Okay, I'll keep you posted.

[A]

Chat is clamoring for a new Ethan Hairdo. No, they're not the Buzz cut and the thumbnail really got people acting up. Let's see. What is it they. What is it they want me to look like?

[B]

No, it didn't.

[A]

This. What do you mean? This is from two years ago.

[D]

What?

[A]

Why is this here?

[E]

Who told you this?

[A]

It's on top of the dock.

[E]

I wonder who put that there. Tab.

[B]

Yeah, that's awfully suspicious.

[E]

It must be. Hmm.

[B]

You're trying to plant the seeds yourself. Perhaps you're clip for me right now.

[A]

What's happening?

[B]

I don't know.

[E]

I didn't.

[B]

I have no idea where this came from.

[A]

Chat is clamoring for a new Ethan hairdo.

[B]

They're clambering.

[A]

The buzz cut and the thumbnail. Really?

[B]

Did you open a doc from like, three years ago on your computer somehow?

[A]

It was August 5th. Hmm.

[B]

August 5th year.

[A]

Well, listen, you. I see you clicking around on it. Well, I just, you know, dang well.

[B]

Chat is clamoring for a new Ethan hairdo. The buzz cut in the thumbnail really got people acting up. And then it is a Reddit post from February 28, 2024.

[A]

What the fuck?

[B]

Okay, Kate is claiming.

[A]

She's claiming ownership of this. Kate, can you explain what's happening?

[B]

Yeah, we're going to clarification here.

[A]

You need me to get.

[B]

I does just Kate really like this haircut? That might be what's happening.

[A]

She says Chat was talking about it when she's typing. I just pulled in the hair example they wanted. So they're clamoring. That. That. Okay.

[B]

I guess you have to dye it pink and have flowers all over.

[A]

I haven't seen the clamoring, frankly, but if you say so.

[B]

No, they're clambering.

[F]

Ah,

[G]

they're slash cheering over it, bro.

[B]

They're cheering.

[A]

Oh, no. You should have said they were slash cheering, Kate. I would have. Their slash cheering got right through the bullshit.

[H]

Is fucking tired.

[A]

Just to remember. A reminder that members rejoice because there is a bonfire video up now from our legendary, if not notorious, camping trip. It's at night, and it's proof that we did sleep there. So check it out.

[E]

Technically, it's not proof saying that.

[A]

What do they want a video of us sleeping? Like, what are you panning from the night sky to someone in the tent sleeping? Like, how do you prove it? Like our time lapse with a clock or a movie?

[E]

Like inside through the tent?

[A]

Yeah, that would be good proof.

[E]

We got to do that next time.

[A]

Okay, well, we need a time lapse with a clock next to it. Someone's Sleeping. That's the only way to prove it. I. So far as I know. But even that won't prove it. You'd have to also see the sky in the same shot.

[E]

And we need some sort of like, neurological, like, measurement of you sleep.

[A]

Prove that I'm a biometrics. Yeah, true. Okay, guys, we'll prove it. We just have to bring a neurologist. Yeah, a whole biotech prove it team. We'll figure it out. Shut up, Keemstar. You proved it. Thank you. Also, I want to say that we were planning on missing Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, but we had to cancel the trip. So we will be here all week, folks. Whoa. Poor Sunny got his ear infection though, right?

[B]

You're just gonna come do a solo episode?

[A]

Listen, you want me to play EverQuest on Friday, just say so.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Do a poll, Dan. If the people say, ethan, you deserve a day to just play EverQuest, we'll take the day off. Go on, do the poll. Let's see how much they love me. I'm curious.

[B]

I don't think that's gonna go your way.

[A]

I think so. I. I don't think it might. I think. Wait a little bit.

[B]

Let him take Friday off.

[A]

Not well, this is for you guys. Don't put it on me. You, Zach and Nate all relate.

[B]

I'm taking Friday off regardless.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[H]

I'm legitimately not going to be here.

[B]

Yeah, I'm not gonna be here.

[H]

No, no, no. Like, legitimately, I'm not.

[B]

I'm not gonna be here.

[A]

Hey, the fairy's here. Samu, this. Can I get. Can I suggest we change the font because it is, like, unreadable.

[B]

Okay. You want, like, times, New Roman science, the Comic Sans. Comic Sans. Yeah, I could do Comic Sans.

[A]

It's fun. It's readable.

[B]

Yeah. Give me a moment.

[A]

Thank you for the five gifties to Sam's. All right. Appreciate you. Yeah. Zach's like, well, actually, I'm already missing Friday. I'm like, sure you are, buddy.

[H]

I told Dan weeks ago.

[A]

Yeah. And I go, dan, did he tell you? And Dan's like, on the calendar, bro. Well, nobody's going to check, so that's a good cover.

[H]

Dan put that there. I don't know.

[B]

What do you mean no one's going to check? You don't use the calendar.

[A]

I'm not going to. I'm not going to fact check him.

[H]

Bro doesn't know calendar ball. What do you know about calendar ball?

[A]

I know how to check a calendar.

[H]

Really?

[A]

And I still want to. Then you know, I Won't be taking your word for it as you should.

[H]

My word is my oak.

[B]

Your oak?

[H]

Like my bond.

[A]

Yeah, okay. No, I got. I know what you meant. I was just noodling on that one.

[B]

Are people saying it's a bad pull? I don't understand how this could be a bad pool. Should Ethan take Friday off and play EverQuest all day? Yes or no?

[A]

That's accurate.

[B]

It's a good poll.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And also, you're losing by a lot.

[A]

That's what I figured. That's what I. I know.

[I]

I.

[A]

The poll was for you guys. I was like, listen, you guys want Friday off still to ask the fans to decide. And Dan, you are working on Friday, so you are bound by the results of that poll.

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

Well, then, listen, if I. If there's no show on Friday, you know who to blame.

[B]

I am out of here.

[A]

Let's see what the caller says. Hold on. Hi, this is Ethan. Should I take Friday off to play EverQuest?

[J]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. You heard it there. Thank you. Caller says yes. Thank you to our gift, either.

[B]

Appreciate you telling you how to be resourceful. Well, well, well. Look what we have.

[A]

Oh, my God. Look at this. Ragtag team of legendary hero.

[B]

Wait, Slackers.

[G]

What do you.

[B]

What are these people doing?

[A]

Yo, wake up.

[K]

Hello.

[A]

Guys, not even in the guild. What are you doing here?

[B]

All right, forget them. All right, let's start with my. My buddies down here. We got Per.

[A]

What up, Per?

[B]

We got Fridge Pants. We got Move. We got Loot. We got Pipe.

[G]

Let's just.

[B]

Pipe. We got Magink. The legend. Slug Trail. That's pretty good.

[A]

That is very good. Slug Trail is very good.

[C]

Name.

[B]

Let's see. Let's get some love to the back row. You know Evelyn, my girl.

[A]

By the way, new players, just when you're level 20, you get to pick a surname and all you have to do is type, slash, surname, and then what you want. But you can only do it once. So peace and love. Choose it wisely.

[B]

I like how we got all the frogs in the front here. I'll sit.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Look how we coordinate. Look how the team get the fuck out of there. Blue Wizard.

[B]

Blue wizard, if you don't mind, if you could remove yourself from the frog.

[A]

Look at the team. Look at the family. Look at the family. The Frog kid. What's with all the shiny? Who's doing that?

[B]

It's just. It's just a magical set of people.

[A]

No, really, what is that? You're glowing, too.

[B]

I'm a bard and I Constantly am shiny. Maybe just all of them are bards. Look at me. My red fucking armor.

[A]

By the way, can I see the stats?

[B]

Any props? Any props for not the legend?

[A]

Yeah, gee, where'd you get all the. Wait, that's not Lambit.

[B]

That's Wicked Dan Rubicite. My. My guy.

[H]

That's that you're wearing.

[A]

But that. That chest plate.

[B]

It's rubicite.

[H]

You're a jacked frog, bro.

[B]

I look so sick.

[E]

Wait, why don't you guys duel you and I'm Ethan and Dan.

[B]

Higher level than Ethan by quite a bit.

[A]

When we're both level 50, we can have a duel.

[B]

Yeah, we'll have a duel when we both get to max.

[A]

That's going to be so the. Honestly, the PvP and EverQuest is amazing.

[E]

Yo.

[B]

Can be pretty dope.

[A]

And with three and with three classes, the fights are going to be insane. Because before they used to have what was called the best of the best tournaments and the game masters would go on every server and host a tournament and classes would duel each other and so obviously was fair, but it wasn't as dynamic. But now you have three classes going head to head. That will be exciting.

[E]

And can you one shot people you probably not this.

[B]

I think everybody has a lot of health.

[A]

Not in this. Yeah, not in this. But like if you were a warrior versus like a necromancer or something. Like if I got like a double hit with my two hander, I would one shot them.

[E]

Holy.

[B]

For me it worked.

[A]

But it's really hard obviously, because they can kite you, they can dot you. It's hard to get them.

[B]

Yeah, it's tough. It's tough out there. All right, we should probably. I'm going to close this because then you'll never be able to move on. So thank you to everybody. I have to. I have to bow out. Oh, you know what?

[A]

See you guys Lay pipe. Bow and lay some pipe.

[B]

See me bow.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

That's respect.

[A]

To the family cheer. Do cheer. That was a cheer.

[B]

That's a cheer.

[A]

Wait and do one more laugh.

[E]

Dude, the gnomes look so stupid. It's my least favorite character.

[A]

Halflings are funny. Gnomes are look dumb.

[E]

Yeah, they're so dumb.

[B]

I'm laughing. I'm laughing. All right, it's done.

[A]

Dance do dance.

[B]

No, we're done.

[A]

Oh, The legendary land of Nora. I'm with you, Ethan. Anyway, we'll move right along here. Apparently our guild there was a moment last night where the whole server dropped. I don't know if you were playing at the time. But there our guild is taking credit that the meetup was so big that the server crashed.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

And this appears to be the whole server for everybody. It just went offline for like a split second. Just. Everybody crashed. We have to be the biggest. I'm telling you, the whole world is infested with family. It's absolutely insane.

[B]

It's insane.

[A]

It is, Dan. And anytime I see one of them, I've got now a whole bag of gear that I don't need, like super high level. So if you see me, bro, I'm gonna hand you some gear. I'm gonna hand you some plat. I'm gonna set you up.

[G]

You're the Mr. Beast of Everquest now.

[B]

You are kind of the Mr. Beast of Everquest.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I'm just getting started. I also, because I have so much respect as a guild leader, I'm getting somewhat twinked out, Dan, because people are just showing. Coming to me and bringing me shit.

[E]

The dawn.

[A]

You come to me while I'm camping, Kazakh, and you bring to me a breastplate offering.

[F]

You know, what are you afraid of?

[A]

You bringing me the brutish breastplate from Split Paw. It's a very generous donation. Wow. Speed came to me at Kazakh Thul to give me the brutish breastplate. Thank you. All right, let's move on.

[B]

I show Speed.

[A]

I don't know his name was just Speed. Might have been so sick. Wow. James Charles postcard made it on spill sesh. This might be as big as we get with this one, guys. We need to talk about for some reason, but it is what it is. I guess everybody's just over it. Everybody knows. Everybody knows. And at this point, it's. You know, I think I've. I've literally done all I can. James Charles exposed. Ethan Klein warns neighbors.

[L]

The fact that Ethan Klein sent a warning to James Charles neighbors in a move that seemed to be redemption for the billboard situation that he spent $10,000 on. Yeah, we're gonna get into everything.

[M]

Yeah.

[A]

This just in spell Ch, girl.

[L]

I don't know about you guys, but when it comes to a bag of chips, I am never really eating the serving size chips. Kept seeing people on social.

[A]

You forgot my chips. Somebody messaged Tom to message Snackish, whatever that is.

[H]

Yeah, I'm right on it.

[L]

I brought some.

[A]

You on that one, Tomo?

[B]

Yeah, I would, but, you know, I got to pick my daughter.

[H]

I got my d. My dad.

[A]

All right, well, you're going to have to get to work eventually.

[H]

Yeah. Ethan, I got an ad for chips.

[A]

Okay, well, tell him about snacking.

[H]

You know, poker watches. I'm Tom Ward.

[J]

Oh yeah.

[B]

Gave those chips to my kids. I love them.

[A]

Yeah, they do.

[H]

My kids, my daughters.

[A]

I can't get enough.

[H]

I got daughters.

[A]

Poor Tom. He's getting absolutely creamed out here. Well anyway, tell them about Snackish, would you?

[L]

Good and fiber vinegar deserve Kish at Incline put up a James Charles billboard that went up in Los Angeles. The billboard called James out saying say James, I hear you text him young. And it had a James Charles allegations search bar. And in the Corner they sourced BBC the article that they wrote back in 2021 titled James Charles YouTube star admits messaging 16 year old boys. Now Ethan spent $10,000 on this billboard and it was actually this whole contest that they were doing on H3 where 523designs were submitted to that was a big deal. Immediately taken down though. But Ethan said that it wasn't because of a legal reason. He said the billboard was actually vandalized and he was extremely upset. He was posting that he was going to be getting to the bottom of all of this.

[A]

Well, as of this afternoon I can confirm we're getting the whole recap is down. This is an interesting mystery at hand. The advertisers we work with say they had nothing to do with it. In fact, they say nobody's even working. It's a three day weekend. So comfy on Monday which. So comfy. Yeah, we wearing. Am I in a robe? Yeah, might be in a robe. You look so nice. I don't know why I'm in a robe filter. I needed it. I was so. I was so irate. I needed to be robed in something soft.

[G]

Ain't no party like a Diddy party.

[A]

That is not my words. Leaves open the possibility that this was the work of a vandal suggestive of James Charles or some. Anybody else remove the billboard during the middle of the day on Sunday. We don't yet know for sure but we will find out. What with the face tune.

[E]

Dude, I remember telling Ethan maybe remove the face tune.

[A]

And you said no, you look like a Newt Gingrich.

[E]

You want it? His wife.

[A]

That's the tick tock vibe.

[E]

No, it's not.

[A]

That was their auto beauty. No, that ain't. Yes it is. No, I didn't add that. That's their auto beauty. They have an auto filter that's on you.

[E]

That ain't the auto, brother.

[A]

Look at me. That's what I look like. That's who I am. That ain't the auto Sorry sorry Beautiful beautiful not beautiful pick Elaine Jordan beautiful thank you Jordan. Hold those responsible Sorry thank you. Doing this to protect regardless what how do I look like Newt Gingrich, bro. You mean because my airbrush it's more

[B]

the the bra the vibe with the wife oh she said she famously like

[A]

face tunes the Wait what the Bro, her lipstick is crazy. Yeah she just cruised around with lipstick like that that looks like deranged

[N]

this

[A]

is not the end this is only the beginning Remember it's not just about James it's about those that enable him those that work with him age 3

[L]

video shortly after he gave an update saying that they had they're calling you

[B]

E girl climb to be you girl

[A]

climb I with that this crew that

[L]

went to remove the billboard they were speculating if it was the actual advertising company that they paid to put the billboard up in the first place because they were saying it was the same machinery Lamar advertising company used to put it up in the first place but the advertising company at first was saying that it was not them that took it down and said that it had to have been vandalized and they even stressed that it was their first amendment right to put this bill yeah and they wouldn't be picking sides in the situation here but it did seem that later on as the conversations I listen kept going we know took advertising recent Friday through made the disregarded if you

[A]

offered it doesn't matter either way but

[L]

people that live in James Charles same zip code and he basically turned this billboard into a postcard that he sent to people's mailboxes with their zip code same as James to warn them about James who is literally living in their

[A]

area I sent a postcard to every house in James Charles zip code you've got mail earlier this year we put up a billboard detailing James he just sent his extra explaining what we know Charles inappropriate actions with miners online but it was quickly and mysteriously taken down I wonder who that could have been unfortunately for James we got our $10,000 back so we decided to find an even better way to bring attention to his misdeeds and it turns out $10,000 is enough to send approximately 12000 physical postcards so that's what so mischievous to every house and James Charles zip code and hey check your mailbox you might have a surprise now all of his neighbor why do you guys think this one didn't pop off like the billboard Just cuz it's been done already and people are just everybody already knows

[N]

but

[A]

like the postcards I think it did pop up.

[N]

It was, like, all over my feed.

[F]

On.

[A]

Yeah, people were posting about it. Okay. I guess I didn't see any that went, like, super big. I, I, I'm, I'm not on social media, so I, I guess I.

[B]

How would you know?

[A]

Well, usually I'll see one that went, like, super viral on the, on the subreddit or one you guys will send me. Oh, it's not good. That was on your feed.

[K]

I think, like, the fact that it was in such a public area.

[L]

We're gonna be giving him.

[A]

It was a. More of a spectacle.

[K]

Yeah.

[A]

Billboard.

[C]

Yeah.

[M]

Yeah.

[A]

Do the blimp. The blimp, dude, is the only option.

[E]

No balls, bro. No balls.

[A]

No balls.

[K]

The BIM should say James Charles has no balls.

[A]

Why? What?

[H]

He's a Castro.

[E]

It's like a daring thing. You never. Am I tripping?

[K]

No.

[M]

No, you're not, Ethan.

[K]

You don't. You know what that means?

[A]

Yeah. No balls.

[H]

You got no balls.

[A]

No balls, bro.

[K]

Like, do it or no balls.

[E]

Do the boom.

[A]

I've never heard that in my life. No balls. What, bro?

[H]

Don't know ball.

[E]

Guess what? Nope.

[A]

Guess what, bro? Don't know balls.

[B]

Not no balls.

[K]

Your balls have officially been confiscated.

[A]

That just.

[K]

You just mean you're now ball less.

[A]

You just, you just, Just go for it. That's like. No, it's like a dare.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

I guess you don't have no balls. Like, no, like, no balls.

[B]

What is happening?

[A]

No balls.

[B]

You've got no balls. You're pussy.

[A]

No, I know that, but. But the way love used it, he goes, no balls.

[E]

I used to perfectly.

[H]

That's the Swedish no balls.

[E]

I just. Yeah, that's just.

[B]

I can just put a little.

[K]

Scarlet.

[A]

I've never used that as, like, an encouragement. Like a, Like a. No, I said no balls. No balls. No balls. No balls.

[E]

He's never heard a Swedish person say it. That's what he's saying.

[G]

You know what? No penis now, too, bro.

[K]

Your penis has officially been confiscated. Welcome to womanhood.

[H]

You're castrati, bro.

[A]

That's not how that works. Tomorrow. Nice try. It did this time turn red. Gymnastic.

[B]

Gymnastic.

[L]

Because they know exactly who they are living near. And honestly, he probably was like, oh, my gosh, I should have just left the billboard up because clearly Ethan is going to find any way to let people know who James Charles really is, and he is not going to be stopping at anything to do.

[A]

So this is something that's going to be being disseminated from yesterday till July. August.

[B]

August 4th.

[A]

August 4th. So. Oh, it's over. So we've reached capacity. That's it.

[E]

All right.

[A]

So they're all gone. They're all out there. Check this out. Did anyone. This is from Confused neighbor on the next door app. Did anyone else receive this in the mail? I'm confused. This is a postcard that was put in every mailbox. And his zip code. 12, 000 Hobes and James. That's what I said on this show very recently. You probably remember it. Zip code. Fire one of these flyers.

[B]

It looks like you are wearing the same shirt.

[A]

Yeah, it's potentially the same shirt. I don't know if it's a slightly different color. Say, James, I hear you texting.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that one might be perfect.

[N]

BBC.

[A]

James Charles. YouTube started Mitts. The question for you is they. They just put. Yeah, thanks. Shout out. Spill set.

[B]

Yeah, we. We know. We were there.

[A]

Were we?

[B]

It was literally you.

[E]

You did.

[A]

You did that. People are saying this is me on Tick Tock. I don't think that it's the same here. Pull up my photo and compare. Pull mine up and compare side by side. That's ridiculous. Also, I think she looks great. What's the problem?

[K]

It said it doesn't look like and like her, it does.

[A]

She has beautiful skin. That's what she looks like in real life.

[E]

She's like you.

[A]

Sorry that you're jealous that her skin looks that good at that age. Where is the video? Someone get the picture of me and compare it. It head over face over face. Anything, Anything, anything, Anything. Ethan Klein speaking. How can I help you? Oh, my God.

[B]

Nobody wants to talk to you.

[A]

Ethan Klein speaking. How can I help you?

[J]

I just wanted to actually thank you. I've been wanting a whisker robot for. For years, but I was nervous to take the plunge and I've had it for about a month now and I really love it.

[A]

Oh, I'm so excited that you said that. They're actually our sponsor today and I'm so excited that. That you tried it and love everybody. I know. Thank you, Dan, who's. What an opportune moment to thank our sponsor. Yeah, what can I say? Yeah, maybe I'll just thank them now while you're on the phone with me. Oh, thank you, Dan.

[J]

Thank you.

[A]

Listen, one of the selling points is not that it's compact, okay? Everybody that uses this thing absolutely loves it. Your cat goes in it. It's auto cleans. The love. You tell me you're. You're a seasoned vet.

[E]

Yeah. Your Cap poop in it and it spins and then it puts the poop

[A]

in a bag, bro.

[K]

It's genuinely.

[E]

It's honestly sick.

[K]

It's been life changing for me.

[A]

Yeah. Tomorrow. You recently got on the. On the Whiskers train too. Yeah.

[N]

Yeah.

[K]

It's probably been one of the biggest perks of this job.

[A]

Just the whiskers.

[K]

I got that for free. Yeah. Because it's really. Yeah. And like, it doesn't smell like. And it just does it. It lets me know when it's full of. And it needs to be changed.

[A]

And it doesn't smell. Huh?

[K]

It doesn't smell. And I. I think it's great.

[E]

And it doesn't complain. It just loves to do this.

[A]

It's a robot.

[K]

Loves eating it.

[A]

It lives to eat your cat's shit and piss.

[E]

Yeah.

[K]

And it weighs your cat for you. It's great.

[A]

Yeah. Weighs your cat and basically make sure your kitty's doing good. When you're getting ready for sleepless nights, diaper changes. Maybe your parents. Oh. So caller, do you agree with everything they said?

[J]

Absolutely. Honestly, I do really love it. I'm like mad I didn't get one earlier.

[A]

Right. Don't be upset with yourself, like caller here for not getting it sooner. Your life could have been better and you blew it by not getting it sooner. And that's what. That's how Great Whisker is. Right, caller?

[J]

100%, honestly.

[A]

So how does it work? This. Your cat goes in. There's kitty litter here, and then it spins slowly and so all the. All the.

[K]

All it filters it out.

[A]

Yeah, filters out and save. And then the clean kitty litter ends up on the bottom.

[E]

Yeah. You see the grid right there?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

The. The clean sand goes through the grid.

[A]

Right.

[E]

The poop stays on it, then it keeps spinning. And then on the right top, right. You see a hole.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

When that hole is at the bottom, the poop falls in through the hole. And then if you lift it up a little bit, the step. Right. All the, all the way there, you can pull that out. And that's where the poop is stored.

[J]

And you just have the litter hopper, which is amazing. It fills it up for you.

[E]

The attachment.

[J]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh, yeah. So there's a couple attachment for the machine too. It's like, like a video game. You can upgrade it.

[A]

That's crazy, bro.

[J]

Yeah.

[A]

Dan, you have one of these, right? Dan has one. You love it, right? Everybody loves Whisker. Now, I'm not a cow owner, so. But. Hold on a sec.

[J]

So it's like a Reason.

[A]

Yeah, I had to butt she

[K]

also, I want to say that it won't. If your cat is starts to go in it as it's rotating, it will stop. So I know I, I used to. There were some other. Yeah, it's very safe. It's very aware, it's sensitive of your calf. It's in there and it's just super great.

[A]

Yeah, it's a lot of time and effort to save, scooping, maintaining, cleaning up. It's just a one time thing and you don't have to think about it. And best of all, you know your kitty's gonna be happy in there. And what it, what kind of like health checks does it do? It checks its weight. Does it check frequency?

[K]

Yeah, it tells you how often they go. There's also there's a little camera on it. So sometimes I've been using it just when I'm not at home. Oh, just to see Mr. Baku.

[A]

Oh, that's good. Yeah, you can see when he, when he needs to go pee, you go, Mr. Baku, you just went pee. I know about it.

[K]

But yeah, cats, you know, they don't like use it. They're very clean. So you want to change your cat's litter as frequently, you know, as they go and this way you don't have to worry.

[A]

It's always clean for them.

[K]

Exactly.

[A]

Every time it's like a brand new kitty litter experience for your cat. That's great.

[E]

Yeah. I've had cat sitters like if you go away from the, the weekend they asked, do I have to clean the litter? I was like, no, you don't have to.

[A]

Don't even trip.

[E]

I clean it before I leave and then it's good for the weekend.

[A]

Wow.

[M]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. From single cats to cats, five cat families. The the litter robo is good for works for you and your family, you know. Also it's going to save you money. It makes the kitty litter last longer. You can also get all kinds of different models depending on how many cats you have. But the point is if you're your cat owner, everybody loves it. Maintain your cat's litter while focusing on your growing family. Just any time you want to spend on yourself. Learn more at Whiskers Litter Robot models. Learn more about whisker litter robot models and starter kits today and get set up before your new baby arrives. And that might even be Everquest. Might be your new baby. All good. Take an additional $50 off bundles with code H3 when you [e-mail] H3. That's an additional doll dollars off bundles with code H3Whiskers.com H3. Thank you. Thank you, caller for that beautiful endorsement.

[J]

Oh, my gosh, you're so welcome.

[A]

It was so good. We had to segue into our sponsored. But. But now we get to have continue on and any other comments before I uncere ceremoniously dump the call?

[J]

No, I love the Fed dir sound bites. They're so funny.

[A]

They are so funny. Shout out to Zach.

[D]

All right.

[J]

Also, we want to see scanline. We want more scan line.

[A]

Sorry.

[E]

The game.

[K]

The game.

[A]

Oh, Scam Line. We could do that tomorrow. That was fun. We could also have.

[B]

We actually have another game that we're lining up for tomorrow that I think people are really going to enjoy. I did have a lot of fun with Scam Line, though.

[A]

I know what game it is, Dan.

[B]

It's not that. Please stop playing that.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

No, it's. What was it called again, Nate?

[G]

It's the Big Walk.

[A]

We'll be playing that.

[B]

No, that's not the one I'm talking about.

[H]

Oh, that's the one where you, like, walk until you drop.

[B]

No, we're not playing the Big Walk, dude.

[A]

You know.

[B]

No, you know what? I'm talking about the one with the dubbing where you where the ADR game.

[G]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I forgot the name of it, though. You know what? I played the Big Walk. That's when I walked from Oock to Neriac. It's not the same. It's the Big Walk.

[B]

Turn off the music.

[H]

He told me I can't.

[G]

What?

[B]

When did he tell you?

[H]

He's like anything everquest like, Zach, I need you to do that.

[A]

Keep the dings coming, Zach. No, that's dings.

[H]

I don't.

[E]

What?

[C]

The level up.

[A]

The level up.

[J]

B.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Also, the game's called Choicer Voicer.

[B]

Choicer Voicer is what we will be doing on the stream tomorrow where we will all be redubbing some classic scenes.

[A]

Oh, it's so much cinema. Yeah, that is actually so much.

[B]

It looks super fun.

[H]

I look forward to that.

[A]

I look forward to it as well. So that's. That sounds great. All right, thank you. Let's see here. Before we get into the Paris Hilton stuff, which is kind of heavy duty and serious, let's take a look at some of the goofs we've got here on the top. I know. I know it. See, we got all kinds of goofs. I want to catch up on the goat chiropractor. Is it actually a goat?

[B]

No, no, no. The greatest of all Time. And I think we've seen this guy.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Let's fucking go. This is literally medieval torture device. Yeah, I've seen illustrations of this. I've seen, like, YouTube videos about this medieval manuscript.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

We're gonna start again.

[B]

Commute the audio.

[H]

It didn't get claimed.

[A]

What?

[H]

Yeah, there's no claim on.

[A]

Let me hear that dramatic AI song. Oh, my God. You're the magician. Honestly, this guy probably has more legitimacy than, like, the normal type of bone cracking, because at least he's, like, stretching their muscles.

[E]

I doubt that.

[A]

I don't know about that, but I don't think the bone cracking does anything well.

[B]

And then equal levels of no legitimacy.

[A]

But he's strapping. This guy looks terrified.

[B]

This seems like it will actively.

[A]

I recognize this guy. Is he a reality show guy?

[H]

I don't know.

[B]

I. I got the impression that because he posted this video himself, I think he went to this guy. I will go to him to, like, make content. I don't think you should do this.

[E]

It's probably in Russia.

[B]

I think you could seriously injure yourself.

[A]

Let's say. Let's keep watching before I volunteer.

[B]

Yeah, I don't think you should do this.

[A]

Cut me in half make the woman in doubt don't stand on me oh, that's. That's what I need. Punch me in the chest. Oh, he looks terrified. What is this song? What is this? What the. Am I listening?

[F]

What?

[A]

Why did you spin? Why did you somersault? How does that help him? My God, man. He's just freestyling, but we can't. He looks confused and scared and. Oh, my God. God. Why are you standing on his head, man?

[E]

Oh, my God. That's one of my biggest fears, someone

[A]

standing on your head.

[E]

Like, getting my head crushed.

[B]

For some reason, I get really irked up by bad.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like I need to watch this again. We were thinking about doing something on chiropractors tomorrow. This could be a good. Honestly, a good resource for me for. For the video we're planning. Did you see it?

[M]

Yeah, I know.

[K]

You want to go to this specific

[A]

guy, though, if he's in. If he's local, right?

[E]

I think he's, like, in Russia.

[A]

I don't think he's local.

[B]

I mean, sign is in English, because

[A]

I know this guy is an influence. American influence.

[B]

Oh, maybe it's. I mean, I could see people doing this in LA for sure. Not this guy.

[E]

No, no, no.

[B]

He's not Indian.

[A]

I'll. I will do this. I will legit do this. For the video, for the memes.

[B]

I don't think you should. Okay.

[A]

I mean, why. But there's certain parts here where I'm have to be like, don't do this, please. Well, punching me in the neck is good. I want that. Standing on my chest is fine. This part, I have to say, I don't understand why he somersaults.

[B]

He gets extra torque by spinning around before he double flying kicks you in the chest.

[A]

But it's not like he. He lands heavy. Just he's doing like gravity jumps on.

[B]

He's doing cool playground ninja moves.

[A]

Dude, this part. This part looks odd. I'm not going to lie, buddy. This part looks like you don't know what you're doing. Oh, man. Hila. I'm going to do this.

[E]

Oh, it says Topanga in the back.

[A]

Topanga. That's right here.

[H]

Frozen the Valley.

[E]

It said, like, Tanga Pets something.

[M]

Is this what I sent this morning?

[A]

I don't know.

[H]

Yeah, this is the one he's on,

[M]

so I want to do it too.

[A]

You do?

[M]

Yes.

[A]

Holy.

[M]

I woke up so, like, my back is so sore.

[A]

You realize this is just some. Some dude's backyard.

[H]

I think he might be in the Valley.

[A]

Yeah, no, he. He is. Because like I said, this guy. This is a reality TV show. This guy's probably broke, if I'm being honest. No offense. I mean, he's not traveling internationally for. For content. Whoa, baby. Let's go right now. So wait, what's his page? Because this is the influencer, Justin Glaze.

[B]

I think Gallia just sent the page.

[E]

Yeah, he's at the Topanga Pet Resort.

[A]

Oh, he probably little pop up. He probably throws doggies in there in between wooden hills.

[E]

Dude, I think he's just doing a pop up. I think this dude is not.

[A]

Okay, well, hold on. It says Siberian sauna. Ice Plunge. That's not what I saw. House of the Sun. A space transformation. A soul, body and mind loss. It says they're in Los Angeles. VIP spot.

[G]

Woodland Hills.

[B]

Woodland Hills.

[C]

Right there.

[A]

No, this isn't a pop up. This is the real deal.

[B]

Well, I mean, looks like it's their house.

[A]

Yeah, that's a backyard. There's just. There's no way around it. You're just doing this in someone's backyard. Well, that guy's.

[K]

All right. Well, I guess we're going there.

[A]

So I see lots of like, spa stuff. I'm trying to find the torture. Yeah, that. That's more like it.

[M]

Okay. I was wondering if girls do it too. So here we go.

[A]

This is of course da Vinci. We've. We've learned nothing of science since da Vinci sketched that makes me trust him. The.

[B]

He was a pretty smart guy.

[A]

No, I know, I know, I know. He was smarter.

[B]

Smarter than you, dude.

[A]

I agree. I don't know if we've learned a lot from science since then. I will say. And that's not a, that's not a dig at da Vinci. She looks happy and healthy and human. Not much is happening right now. Hila, you say? So you actually have back issues where I don't.

[M]

Yes.

[A]

I was just gonna warn you. This may has a good chance of harming you. It may make your back good chance,

[B]

like probably like 80%

[A]

most likely. You know, it would be funny to bring an actual doctor to comment on it as it's happening.

[M]

Yeah, yeah, Maybe I should just exercise.

[A]

Like bring an actual doctor who just freaks out when he sees what's happening.

[H]

Like an orthopedic back.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, this looks. This looks good. I mean, I can't think of a better. Can't think of a better chiropractic experience, frankly.

[E]

You should bring a doctor and a lawyer.

[A]

It seems like most people are doing the spa. I don't actually see a lot of people in the torture device.

[B]

It was like. It's probably just one component of, of the retreat.

[A]

Yeah, but if you go back here and you're like, oh, yeah, I'm here for the spa. And then you see this like crazy ass jungle gym fucking torture device in the back and you're like, what is that? Why is that there? Oh, you can also get tortured in their house.

[B]

Oh, it's just some, some bowl chimes.

[A]

Welcome to the house of the.

[B]

What was the.

[A]

Oh, here's the guy.

[B]

AI generated ritual.

[A]

This is the guy. Hold on, I want to hear him talk. I want to see if he's full of shit or if he actually knows

[F]

I just showed up.

[A]

It's such a beautiful aesthetic. Setting candles, flowers, you know, everything's there. What is happening? Guru sitting there doing all that stuff. Well, what is happening?

[E]

I think it's auto translated.

[A]

It's dubbed. Yeah, this is the guy, but this is the guy that we saw doing it. Yeah, he's Serbian, but he's talking in third person. And who brought this guy to LA for this?

[M]

No, this is what.

[A]

It's a. It's part of the Russian conspiracy to destabilize America. We're all going to be walking around, our joints and backs are going to be all up.

[J]

This is.

[M]

Orthopedic terrorism it is.

[B]

Then they all hug, and that's just

[F]

how it all goes down with them.

[A]

And it seems like, why is he talking third person? Everyone left happy. In our case, a retreat. Stepping outside your comfort zone, your limitations, your conditioning. So I am somewhat speechless.

[E]

The. The thing is, traditional Russian body alignment. That's $120 for 45 minutes. It's a good price.

[A]

45 minutes on that thing? Oh, that's a challenge.

[B]

Oh, it didn't work.

[M]

What?

[B]

I changed it to Comic Sans, but it's. I had to save. What the hell?

[K]

You try to change it.

[M]

Why are you changing Ethan one Comic Sans?

[B]

What, you couldn't read the text? Change it to comics?

[A]

Like, totally.

[M]

You didn't run that by the art department?

[A]

I ran it by my eyes. I couldn't fucking read it. Oh, this is perfect work. Anyway, they have a rebirth package. That's what I've always been after, a rebirth package. Christian rebirth. From death to life. All right, you guys can bet your ass you're gonna see me in that torture device.

[B]

That's so I could have, like, lifelong consequences, you know?

[M]

Yeah, that's starting to scare me.

[A]

I mean, I feel like.

[K]

I don't know.

[A]

I feel like I'm pretty flexible. And, like, generally speaking, my body doesn't take that permanent damage. Like, I don't have back problems. I don't have, like. I mean, everything's working pretty good. I don't know about afterwards. Yeah, I don't know about.

[B]

Fair enough.

[A]

But he's a doctor, Dan. He swears that it helps.

[B]

Did he claim to be a doctor somewhere?

[A]

He's a healer. He's a healer.

[E]

Just look at him.

[B]

Well, that's different than a doctor.

[E]

He's wearing those white scrubs, too.

[A]

Caller, should I do the torture device?

[J]

Oh, my God. Yes, he should.

[A]

That's what I think, too.

[B]

Okay, well, it's settled.

[A]

All right. Thanks for calling. Oh, go ahead. Go ahead.

[J]

You. Did you know that a chiropractor can make your neck. Can injure your neck and make you have a stroke?

[A]

Yes, thanks for calling. Yeah, we talked about that a lot. They basically can do all that stuff to you and. And worse. I'm very.

[E]

Why is she giggling? Why?

[A]

She's saying that I'm very appropriate. I'm very anti chiropractor. I have been for a long time. Twitch training Amazon AI with streams. Huh? Twitch and Amazon are apparently planning to use streams to train generative AI. Multiple sources tell me it'll be announced in the coming months. Despite some internal Friction against it. Creators may be able to opt out. Well, I mean, they own your ass.

[B]

Why? Why would it? Like,

[A]

why are you surprised?

[B]

No, why wouldn't anyone. Why wouldn't everyone just opt out? Like, what. What possible benefit could be offered?

[A]

I don't think you can opt out because you're right, Dan. And they own you. You're making content like Google owns us. They can use all of our content to train their AI.

[E]

And YouTube already does that. Right?

[A]

And they do it, presumably. Yeah.

[E]

And you. You have no choice.

[A]

Yeah, you have no choice.

[E]

Twitch. Giving the option to opt out kind of woke, bro.

[B]

That is kind of.

[A]

We'll see if they do it. I don't believe they will.

[B]

Well, and it said some training data, so probably not everything.

[A]

You know, in the comedy world, they say we're the last line of defense. To be fair, if you're on Twitch, you should want this because you at least should want to give them some value for your work, because that place is just losing money hand over fist. So, yeah, you should be begging them to do it so that you don't lose a job. Speaking of AI the future is here. Oh, is it? So you say the future of entertainment is here. Let's see. AI Slot movies playing on a channel dedicated Internet to AI Slot movies on Roku right now. Yes, they're running ads on this channel. And yes, the ads are also A.I. what the hell?

[B]

The future is so great, isn't it?

[C]

Welcome, sire.

[A]

What the is this?

[C]

French scoundrels.

[A]

Lord Renfrew. Forgive me, sire. What?

[B]

I don't want to ruin it with a catapult set.

[A]

The men at work to construct a ram. Yes, sire. We are at your command,

[C]

your majesty.

[A]

I want to watch Richard lays. And so it begins.

[C]

Send the French army to meet him, Sire. Kill him and let's be rid of him.

[A]

Richard is not so easily killed, my friend.

[B]

So true.

[A]

I have seen this with my own eyes.

[B]

Got a lion heart.

[A]

This is genuinely.

[M]

Look at the animals.

[A]

But by the way, just as a reminder of where we are. It was only a few years ago that Will Smith. Will Smith eating spaghetti.

[M]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, right? This is crazy.

[M]

It is crazy.

[A]

Yeah. No, like, it's obviously silly and goofy and there's all this uncanniness going on, but, like, yeah, in another two years, we are not gonna be able to tell the difference.

[B]

Well, the. Visually, I feel like it's almost there.

[A]

Yeah. But once the AI like, watches every movie ever made.

[H]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't know. I've seen a Lot slower improvement on the. On the making anything compelling argument. The photorealism for sure is crazy impressive though.

[A]

Here you can see.

[B]

And you're probably right. In another couple years. Yeah, it's gonna be like indistinguishable.

[A]

But the fact that it wrote a whole movie script that even if it's like a tiny bit coherent, which actually I don't know if it is.

[B]

Yeah. Didn't really seem very coherent, but check that's what I mean is like, you know. I've yet to see that side of

[A]

Will get there though. Maybe this is 23. 2023. Here's Will Smith. And everyone was like, ah, that's so funny and crazy and creepy and weird.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

2024.

[D]

All right.

[A]

And it's still pretty weird. 25. Getting a little spooky because that obviously it still looks uncanny, but it ain't that bad for at night. 26.

[B]

So.

[A]

Have you heard of cling 3.0? I heard it can create multiple scene

[G]

cuts like this with a single prompt. And it knows when to cut to whoever is talking.

[A]

But did you know all this audio was also generated with the same prompt? I, I, it's obvious. Yeah, it's quite obvious.

[H]

I guess I didn't.

[F]

Sir.

[A]

Study harder, kid.

[B]

Eat your spaghetti. Will Smith. Kind of a dick. Dude, what the hell?

[A]

But the point is, why is he

[B]

talking to that young man like that?

[A]

The point is, Dan, that their point was made. Come on.

[B]

I couldn't even understand the point because I was so pissed off at the way that Will Smith.

[A]

It's great. It's the, it's the visuals.

[K]

Totally. Dan. I, I feel I was also like, he's acting.

[F]

Who does.

[B]

He is.

[A]

He's acting.

[B]

He could be like, no, that was candid.

[K]

That was.

[B]

Yeah, that was candid. He was not acting. That was the real AI what does

[K]

that AI know that we don't? Dan?

[A]

How come he don't want me, man?

[E]

He knows everything, man.

[B]

I guess, I guess that could, could have a lot.

[A]

What does the AI know that you don't? Everything. Yeah, I mean like literally obsolete. That's what you are.

[K]

Sorry, that was harsh.

[A]

It's true. It's true. It's time to face the facts, all of us.

[K]

Like, the only person that could go against AI at this point that we know personally is Brian. Because that guy knows a lot of stuff.

[A]

Brian.

[M]

Yeah.

[K]

Remember when he was on here? He just kept knowing things.

[A]

Oh, Brian Pickroll. No, he, he's so Brian. My uncle.

[M]

I thought you meant because he's kind of Like a handyman. Like, he knows everything in that regard.

[K]

No.

[A]

All right, let's not get. Let's not get on a Brian tangent. He is very handy because those people

[M]

are actually going to be the ones with something against AI that AI can't do.

[A]

No, they'll be gone.

[M]

The handyman.

[A]

Yeah, but they're gonna be. They already have the robots that can basically already do all that in your house. Hell, yeah. The robots are going to show up and fix your house in, like, 10 years. Absolutely.

[B]

Wait, no, those are two different statements. You said, hell, yeah. There are robots that can show up

[A]

and fix your house in 10 years. In 10 years. Well, I mean, they are already. Like, the technology already exists.

[B]

So they're not.

[A]

It's expensive.

[B]

I don't think that there's any robot that could come and just like, there is. You could give a list of household chores happening. Show me.

[A]

I forget where I saw it, but.

[B]

Oh, you forgot.

[M]

I'm going to have Michael Jackson commercial. Yeah, the AI robot commercial. Marshall.

[A]

It's happening.

[M]

I think we almost talked about it on the show.

[A]

The only person that will be safe from AI is me. I'm a creative. I'm an intellectual.

[B]

What you do is so easy.

[A]

I move and think on my feet. I. I generate from place. I am the last frontier of human greatness.

[M]

It's the plumbers and the handyman.

[A]

Oh, no, it's not, ma'. Am. No, it is not.

[M]

Let's all take bets

[A]

the gambling will be taken over by the AIs, too. So all you have to do is sit and stare at the wall in darkness. Every man's dream.

[B]

So real quick, I want to rewind just a minute. And Tamara said something about Brian, like, knowing stuff.

[A]

Yeah, he does know a lot. He's definitely a seasoned person.

[B]

I feel like I'm the guy here that, like, knows.

[K]

Do you not remember when he was here? He knew things. And he knew things in a way that you didn't. And what? It's okay because you won the title?

[A]

Hold on, let me step in. Tamara, please. Lord have mercy. Tamara, you're. You don't know what you're doing right now. She not forgive her dance. You know not what she does.

[E]

We don't agree.

[K]

You know, I. You know, I always go to you. I always go to you before Ethan, Dan, always.

[B]

Yeah, but why not?

[K]

You're the person I'm scared of.

[B]

You go to Brian from now on.

[K]

No, I'm not going to Brian for anything, okay? I'm just. Stop. Stop. I mean, you could I know I could.

[A]

That's not true. Dan has him completely outmatched when it comes to tech and, like, video and audio and all that stuff. He doesn't hold a candle to Brian. But he doesn't. I know Brian.

[K]

Dan didn't know about the G forces, and he did.

[A]

How is that related to technology?

[E]

No, Dan knew it. He just. Just didn't want to outstate.

[B]

Let others shine. Tamara.

[A]

But I will say, as someone who's known Brian the longest. Thank you. You've known him, like, one day. Okay, calm down. He. And everything else. When it comes to, like, anything else, including, like, gadgets or manual labor type of thing or instruments and stuff. He knows. He knows. He definitely knows more than you, Dan, about all this. But that's not your domain. That's not your lane.

[M]

Then may I say that you're the

[A]

master of your lane.

[B]

I think he knows more about instruments than me.

[E]

And gadgets. What kind of gadgets?

[A]

Like, I don't know. Name them. Something.

[M]

He.

[A]

Yeah. He knows more than you.

[M]

Yeah, he does.

[D]

He helps me with the. The hitch on my Jeep.

[M]

But, Daniel, it is important to stay humble. And you already won two recent contests.

[B]

Yeah, for my physical appearance. What about my mind?

[M]

Oh, and for your talent.

[K]

You're so much more than that, Dan.

[A]

He just said he's not.

[M]

I mean, being humble is a really important lesson. Then you know Brian is older than you.

[K]

We could have a knowledge.

[B]

Listen, I'm not trying. This is not meant to disrespect Brian in the least.

[G]

Okay?

[B]

All respect to Brian, I'm just saying.

[C]

Thank you for understanding, Dan.

[B]

You know, tomorrow made it sound like she did.

[A]

She did. And that's like, I'm not good enough. No, no.

[B]

You know what I mean.

[K]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You know what, Tara? Tamara, you've done enough. That's why I stepped in. Dan, you are the master of your domain, and there's no question about that.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you for saying so.

[A]

There's no question now. On every other topic, he's a clear winner.

[B]

Every other topic. I'll concede the jackhammer point, but I take great issue with the instrument.

[A]

Name one thing you think you know more than him, and I'll call him right now.

[M]

Would you know what to tell Ethan to buy if he wants to? To put out fires around the house and be prepared to stay back at home in the next fire?

[A]

Yeah, he was a firefighter before Brian was.

[M]

I'm asking, then. Would he know to tell you what to buy right now?

[B]

A fire extinguisher what kind to put out a forest. The ones for forest fires.

[A]

Exactly. GG concede. He just conceded.

[B]

It's probably a K type. It's probably a K type.

[A]

Stupid name.

[B]

K type fire extinguisher. Look it up. Look it up.

[M]

You're dumb.

[A]

Name one thing you think you know more than him that's not related to stuff.

[M]

Then we get electricity, go out a lot. What kind of generator do I need to buy for our house?

[B]

Diesel, obviously.

[M]

What does that mean? Like, send me a link.

[B]

Okay, I got you.

[A]

No, this isn't.

[D]

I will say Dan does always amaze me how much he knows about. He knows something about everything, at least a little bit. Even when it comes to like religion, Islam. Like, he'll answer questions sometimes before me, and I'm always surprised. It is impressive.

[K]

It is impressive. Dan knows. Listen, Dan is the go to get me on Jeopardy.

[A]

Okay, Dan, give me a topic. Give me something you know a lot about.

[B]

A lot about or something that you'd be surprised that I know a lot

[A]

about something you know a lot about that you feel you know more than Brian about. That's not related to something in this office.

[B]

That's not related to something in this office.

[A]

That's. That you're obviously better than him at.

[B]

You know.

[A]

That's your.

[B]

Well, I know he's like a big Star wars nerd. I bet you I could probably beat him in a Star wars trivia.

[K]

That's huge.

[H]

I bet I could beat you both.

[A]

I think you're probably right. I think you probably take. Okay, all right, whatever. Who cares? We're watching AI Slop, which is actually more entertaining than whatever the this is. So clearly the AI has an edge on us already. Yeah.

[K]

So entertaining.

[A]

Oh, oh.

[K]

On the edge of my seat.

[B]

It's so NPC coded.

[K]

But this is a video game, bro.

[B]

It feels like one. What an idiot. Okay, you got shot in the back or the front?

[G]

How's the king out by himself?

[M]

Is this an actual movie on the tv?

[B]

It's on Ro. Some Roku channel.

[A]

Apparently there's. There's a Roku channel that is just playing AI movies and then with AI commercials.

[E]

Well, you know, the boomers watch that without noticing anything.

[A]

I mean, if you're like 80 plus, maybe. Just look at that.

[E]

I think you gotta lower that. I think you could do like 65 plus, bro.

[D]

No, I'm with you, love.

[M]

Damn.

[E]

Thanks.

[D]

We put on this movie called Velociraptor for Lena's mom as a joke and she actually watched it all the way through how.

[A]

Well, how old is she? 90? Yeah, it goes both ways.

[D]

No, she's like, she's like, how old is she, Lena? Like 60?

[J]

I don't know.

[N]

No, maybe close to 60, but not 60, but.

[E]

Do you remember when you pulled up that dog video pulling the big tree?

[H]

I do.

[A]

Oh yeah. Stop ready? Talking to me. You're talking about the image that I thought was a joke based on of a Yorkie. The joke. I didn't think the Yorkie was pulling the tree. There's a joke.

[E]

It was real.

[A]

It could have been. I still think it could have been like, you know what I'm saying? I've seen the meme with the big chain, you know, big dog leash that looks like a giant metal chain. It's that gag. You're like, oh, do you really think a little Yorkie could pull a 80 pound metal chain? Wow.

[E]

I know the meme.

[A]

It's not like so I didn't know that.

[E]

Same vibe.

[A]

Here is a robot that's doing, let's see, they're doing vacuuming, wiping services and organizing clutter. Take a look here.

[M]

What is he wearing?

[A]

$30 per hour to catch your data. Well, that's so funny, bro. Look at this dumb idiot. Tao.

[B]

Yeah, he looks terrible at this.

[G]

Yeah, he's kind of at it.

[A]

Look who the would hire this guy to do that job. Like imagine this is a person, right? You get like an 85 year old bro can't even pick up a Windex.

[M]

This feels like a shitty Amazon product. You know, you, you buy it and then you're like, why did I buy this scrap? Throw it out.

[A]

No, but in five years this thing is going to be fucking. You'll be able to fuck it when it's done cleaning your house, right, Dan?

[B]

I didn't hear what you said.

[M]

Just say yes. Just nod.

[A]

What else we got here? Trump on Japan. Oh, how exciting.

[B]

Wait real quick before you move off the robots, did you see the thing about the guy who made a bionic wheelchair for his dad with legs?

[A]

No, I would like to.

[B]

This shit was actually pretty cool.

[A]

Oh, here's another clip of the eight robots. House slave, hold on.

[F]

For you.

[A]

San Francisco Robotics Company is offering a new home cleaning service using humanoid robots.

[B]

J Laser video.

[A]

You see, the robots can vacuum, pick

[B]

things up off the floor. Wait, look, I can go like off roading and wait.

[A]

Oh, that's one of the.

[B]

Yeah, so it's one of these dog robots and he modified it to be a wheelchair for his dad.

[A]

Hopefully it's safe and doesn't up because I.

[B]

Well, throughout it, there's a lot of testing and it does fall over at certain points, but they get it working pretty well. And I mean, even if it's just like early days.

[M]

Yeah.

[B]

He takes him hiking and he's like, yeah, I haven't been hiking in like years.

[J]

Oh my God.

[A]

Honestly, I think the kid might be onto something.

[B]

It's pretty cool, man.

[A]

Pretty legit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let me see. Play it. Play a club. I like how it's got a big old light, like a choo choo train.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

I can like go upstairs and stuff.

[A]

So finally we don't have to fucking be controlled by the disabled American.

[B]

Stop, Stop.

[A]

No, they, you know, they rule with the iron fist. And now I don't think they. They can go up and down stairs

[B]

with an iron fist.

[A]

Yes, bro. The ada. Yes, bro.

[B]

People are suggesting you get me this as a, as my chair for work. Replacement for the scorpion chair.

[A]

Dan no longer has to move or

[B]

walk around the office.

[M]

Dan. You know, Cool. Also, if it could go up. So like if you want to fix a light, you don't need a, you don't need a ladder. It just kind of like.

[D]

Let's get you one of those lifts.

[A]

What are they called?

[G]

Scissor list.

[D]

Yes. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Okay. So I could just lord over everyone

[J]

mobility.

[A]

All righty. Here's Trump on Japan. Let's see what enlightened, well informed statement he has here.

[F]

To support who?

[A]

To support the Japanese currency because we

[C]

have a good relationship with China.

[J]

Japan.

[A]

We're very strong, Very, very strong financially. And they are, you know, they have

[C]

a weakening yen and they wanted a little bit of help. And we're always there for Japan. Japan's been very good to us, with

[A]

the exception, of course, of Pearl Harbor.

[K]

Mr. President.

[A]

He's right. Financial benefit. I like that. We, we haven't, we haven't forgotten about Pearl harbor fan. We still got our eyes on you.

[D]

It was a little.

[B]

Brings that up really often. It's very funny every time Japan comes up. Pearl harbor.

[A]

We love. We love Japan. Hate Pearl harbor. The terrible tragedy, what they did. But we love them now. He's. He can't help it. He's just like, just goofball brained.

[H]

I thought the Pacific theater was a movie, not a war. The Pacific.

[A]

I was very disappointed. Very disappointed.

[H]

What kind of film is this?

[A]

It's.

[H]

It Big Land, Ocean.

[E]

True.

[A]

I went to sleep pretty decently last night with Norath. Although I'll tell you, I came up early. I got out of Norath, went Up early, same time as Hila. And then right as I was about to get in bed, Chief took the biggest fucking piss in the middle of our room. And he's so big, and his piss splashes everywhere. It literally covers the entire floor. My God, it took me so long to clean, and it was just so gross. I don't know why he does that. He doesn't do it often, but he. He'll do it, like, once every few months for no reason.

[B]

Dogs, cats won't do that.

[H]

So are you. You have flooring in your room or is it carpet wood? Okay. Do you have.

[M]

We used to have carpets until the dogs destroyed everything.

[D]

That was.

[H]

Cause Bambi will go in the corner and piss and shit in the middle of the night.

[M]

Yeah.

[H]

Do you have the Swiffer wet?

[A]

No, I just. I'll use paper towels. Or in this case, I use, like a. We have, like, laundry towels.

[H]

Okay.

[A]

That I wiped it up with. And then I have a dog spray I had to coat the whole fucking floor with. And then Hila's like, ah, the coat stinks. So she got.

[M]

At this point, I'm so disgusted with the smell that, like, even the smell of the spray just makes me want to die.

[H]

Yeah, I. I get that.

[M]

When I woke up, I could still smell it. I don't know if it's in my head now or what, but I could still smell.

[H]

I know what you're talking about. Yeah, we. We love them, but we hate them. Yeah, I get it.

[M]

God damn, Chief. Say something like, I don't know why we did that to ourselves.

[D]

Yeah. I feel like, honestly, anytime I'm feeling stressed with Rocky, I'm like, you know what? I just need to toughen it out because you guys have kids and the dogs. Like, that is. That was a big commitment all at once.

[A]

No, Chief is worse than, like, all the dogs and kids combined. He's gotten better. A little better.

[M]

Slowly. Like this much better.

[A]

He got kicked out of the room real fast, though, last night. And then he opens the door and comes back.

[M]

Yeah. He finds a way to get back,

[H]

and then you feel bad.

[M]

Yeah.

[H]

You know.

[A]

Well, I was gonna let him back in, but I was just cleaning and doing all my bat. My bed stuff, and I was just. I wanted to. To him to feel like he got punished for it. And then he just open. He just lets himself back in. He can open every door.

[G]

Seeing Chief open the door for the first time at the house, such a crazy experience. He just walks up and just.

[M]

Literally, first try, by the way, he broke our Doors to the backyard because we would sometimes put him outside and lock the door because that's the only way to keep him outside.

[H]

Oh, my God.

[M]

He broke it. Now we can't lock the doors.

[H]

Oh, my God. What a big boy.

[M]

Yep.

[A]

He is such a softy, though.

[M]

Yeah.

[A]

But he's such a fucking menace. And he has, like, these toys now. His thing when he gets happy, like when we get home, he just goes crazy. He wants to play. He gets a toy and he just darts everywhere.

[E]

That's.

[A]

That's how he expressed himself. But we have these big, like, water buffalo horn that he'll get in his mouth and he'll run all over the place. And it's dangerous.

[M]

Basically. Like running with a weapon.

[A]

Yeah.

[M]

100 miles an hour, pointy end.

[H]

He turns into a buffalo.

[M]

Yeah, basically.

[A]

He's a friendly buffalo, but a buffalo nonetheless.

[M]

You know how in Obsession, the. Whoever watched the movie, it's like, careful what you wish for, because the wish may come true. So I always wanted, like, a super cuddly dog that was, like, what I really, really wanted. And now I'm like, living the obsession thing because he. He wants to be in the bed on us.

[D]

Oh, man.

[M]

And he weighs so much. And, like, you can't move him.

[A]

He thinks he's the size of ducky.

[M]

So sometimes I really. I can't sleep or I wake up with a terrible back pain. Yeah, but I got the cuddles.

[A]

Yeah, you got the cuddles. You did. Anyway, why the am I talking about chief? We're talking about Trump. And let's talk about dogs instead.

[B]

Hold on. Found out that that robot dog wheelchair. The Robot starts at $75,000.

[A]

Wait, you could. Can you. Is that for the dog or the robot dog chair?

[B]

The chair was, like a custom thing.

[A]

So I can buy the dog for 75k?

[B]

Yeah. And then we can hire somebody probably for another 20 to $30,000 to modify it into a.

[A]

You can do a lot with those dogs. 75K. You have to get someone who can. Knows how to program it, but you can basically program it to do anything.

[G]

You give it a gun?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know, attach a gun to it.

[H]

I'm pretty sure Brian could program it.

[A]

Honestly, might be able to.

[H]

Sorry, Dan.

[M]

Brian installed our DDR in the basement.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[M]

Brian, that thing came in pieces.

[H]

I need to get his phone number because I want to be on a texting basis with Uncle Brian.

[A]

I have it, Zach. I'll give it to you.

[B]

Yeah, I have it, too.

[D]

We're actually in a group chat.

[H]

Oh, yeah?

[B]

Yeah. I've been in a group chat with Brian for a long time actually.

[H]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

What do you guys.

[B]

Not that big a deal, to be honest.

[H]

You talk about like cool shit, like

[G]

a lot of cool stuff.

[D]

It started with the camping trip, but we just became buds after.

[G]

That's cool.

[A]

My favorite influencer's back. He's. He's back doing what he loves, what he's good at. Oh, boxing. He's boxing. And Aiden Ross's next big event against Phase Temper. Oh, the dude who hit me up

[D]

last minute's like, hey, so he's good.

[A]

Face Temper actually seems like he's good.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think Austin's lost all of his fights, right?

[D]

No, he won against. Was it Bryce? Let me double check.

[A]

Let's see here. He came with that bag. And I appreciate you, my brother. Just know how much money is he getting this dude? This dude seems stoked. I think he's gonna get his ass beat. Based on what I understand about Temper, that when I fight this coming up month, the end of the month, that I'm gonna put on a show for you, bro. Not just for you, but for everybody watching. All right? Okay. It's gonna be well worth all the money you paying me. How much money is he getting? Putting on some dope events?

[D]

Yeah, I know I should have asked more questions.

[A]

He's really giddy about that paycheck. It's got to be a few million, I'm assuming.

[M]

You think so?

[A]

Well, look at that smile. I mean, maybe it's been a long time since Austin McBroom got paid by anyone, so maybe, you know, a less than that.

[M]

I was thinking like 400,000

[A]

maybe. You're probably right. Maybe. I think I'm maybe payday. Yeah.

[M]

Yeah.

[A]

Especially for someone who hasn't been. Actually, that's not true. He makes a fuckload of money on Snapchat.

[C]

Fuck.

[A]

I'm the only influencer doesn't make money on Snapchat.

[D]

My dumb ass didn't even ask me more questions because I was loyal to the creator. Clash fucked up. I would have got my SB for 400,000.

[A]

That's. Well, yeah, I don't think we're going to get that, but you might have got a. Wow. I don't know. That's a good question. I wish. I wish you did ask that. Would you have done it for 50 then? I think you should ask that. Might have been on the table.

[B]

Maybe it still is.

[A]

Maybe come back, say hey, you guys need anyone else reply in the same text thread too?

[B]

Late to accept, like years later.

[A]

But you could say, hey, if you guys need some cannon fodder. Yeah, you need a fall guy. Frozen solid meat. The meat's frozen solid. Meat's frozen solid.

[K]

Oh,

[A]

Vitali's also boxing. Oh, my God. You know, would be the dream fight. Vitali versus a child. A convicted child predator who's jacked straight up, straight from prison.

[D]

Dude, the guy he's fighting is massive. He's.

[A]

He's huge, this guy.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Aiden Ross. Get the out of here, bro.

[B]

What a dork.

[A]

Why is he even. What is this nonsense? This silly assness. What's his name? I want to see. How big is he?

[E]

Larry Wheels.

[A]

Yeah, Larry Wheels, bro.

[B]

Larry Wheels.

[A]

Oh, my God. But that guy's on drugs.

[B]

Nah, that's natural, dude.

[A]

Okay, he's big, but he looks like.

[B]

Oh, he's running with the water guy.

[A]

He's like big in the dumbest, most useless way.

[E]

Exactly. He's a power lifter.

[A]

Like, this dude can't even probably swing his arms, you know, he's probably gonna topple over like a bowling pin.

[D]

Well, it's gonna be a battle of steroids versus coke.

[A]

I think coke wins that foreign. We'll see. He is definitely pretty lean there. Did they weigh in? I'm fed up and exhausted with all this. Fake Vitaly has a really insane energy too, which I wouldn't. I wouldn't discount.

[B]

He's gonna bite off his ear or something, right?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Yo, this him? He's tiny. What are you talking about?

[D]

No, that guy must be disgusting. That guy must be like the mountain.

[A]

Yeah, I'm kidding for sure. All right, well, very cool.

[B]

Good luck.

[A]

Good luck, sir. I know. Back up. George Janko's childhood dog story explains a lot. This is Logan, Paul's ex. Impulsive host, who I guess they made fun of him for finding Jesus. Or Logan, I guess got into a whole bunch with him and then he went and made his own Jesus podcast, which ended up being like, it's really weird. Red pill Pro Andrew Tate. Like, again, I don't know how Jesus. I don't think Jesus would be pro Andrew Tate.

[B]

I don't think so. I don't think so.

[A]

I don't see how Jesus is Tate's number one fan. He would be, but they figured somehow they rationalize it where he's the hero. I don't know. But here is a funny little anecdote from George Janko, this time with audio

[F]

for like six months. And I'm in love with this dog. My best friend. I had no friends. I only have this dog. My mom was like, yo, we gotta get rid of this dog. We have to figure out a way to get our son to let go of it. My dad sat me down. This is not an exaggeration. My dad sat me down at a young age and said, george, this is blind woman that keeps getting robbed. And she used to have a guard dog. And that guard dog passed away, and now she needs a new guard dog. George, are you willing to give her your dog so she can go to sleep?

[C]

What?

[F]

And she was like, yeah, she. She's unfortunate. She lives in the hood. You know, they have a lot of robberies. And God has blessed you with such a beautiful home and a family. Like, how do you. What do you want to do? I was like, can I talk to her? This is the weird part. I got on a phone with a lady. I asked her one question. I said, do you really not sleep well? And she just started crying on the phone. And then I started crying on the phone. And then.

[A]

This is a real lady.

[D]

This was real.

[F]

I cried on the phone and I said, please take care of my best friend. I love him a lot. He's the only friend I have.

[A]

How did he know this person?

[F]

Dude, I found this out the other day. We're eating, and my dad goes, yeah, it was the biggest regret I ever had selling that dog off and watching. Oh, so sad. And I looked at him. I literally, I'm 30, bro.

[B]

And I go, what?

[F]

And he goes, oh, yeah, it was a big mistake of mine. I. I listened to your mom and

[A]

I tried to buy back the girl.

[F]

Wouldn't let me buy back dad. Till this day, I think about that woman. I go, was she blind?

[A]

She goes blind.

[F]

I was like, are you serious? I had a German.

[A]

It is very funny.

[M]

Oh, my God.

[A]

But also insanely up. And again, you'll notice that this religious family, right, his dad exploits, he goes, God would want you to help this lady. God blessed you with a house and a dad and everything, you know, and so let's use God. Let's use God to fucking.

[B]

To lie to my son.

[A]

Void my children's weaknesses.

[D]

I love the thought of him. It's very funny with the lady. Yeah. His dad's just like, oh, I can't see.

[B]

Yeah, it sounds like what it was.

[M]

Oh, God, that's.

[A]

Would you ignore how terrible it is? It is funny.

[M]

Yeah.

[A]

He was, like, thinking about this lady his whole life and how he did this selfless thing for her. Who sells a dog, by the way? Who buys a Used dog, Sylvester Stallone. That's alone. Well, there's no said no.

[B]

Maybe. That lady went on to produce an inspiring story. Down and out, taking on the champ. And though he doesn't win, finding love in the process.

[A]

Do you buy.

[B]

Look at that.

[A]

Caller, do you buy it?

[H]

That's. That's Rocky.

[E]

Hold on.

[J]

Hello?

[A]

Oh, they might be behind.

[B]

Yeah, they're behind.

[A]

Caller, what can I do for you? Hi.

[J]

Oh, my God. Hi. I can't believe I actually made it on. I'm a big fan.

[A]

All right, hang up on her.

[D]

I have an important update.

[A]

No, no, stop. Go ahead, go ahead. What do you got for us?

[J]

Yeah, I've got a quick question for you.

[A]

Go on, I'd love to hear it.

[J]

How many Jews died in the Holocaust,

[B]

Ethan?

[A]

I mean, it's approximately 6 million.

[J]

Oh, great answer. Perfect answer.

[A]

You testing me? Testing me?

[B]

No, it's good. It's good. It's good to be tested. Yeah.

[J]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Have you seen Schindler's List? Are you Jewish?

[J]

I'm not Jewish.

[A]

Oh, my God. The nerve. Hang up. The nerve of someone not even Jewish to try to pull that on me. It's outrageous. Come on, bro.

[B]

I think it's good to just test. What if you forgot?

[A]

Well, listen, nobody has.

[B]

Keep yourself fresh.

[G]

Can I say, you saying used dog

[B]

is kind of crazy?

[I]

He buys a used dog.

[A]

Well, you can't get him from the pound. But I'm not buying a dog. A used dog for my neighbor. Or some like, hey, I got this dog. You want to buy it? It's like, no, he doesn't want anyone talking about it.

[G]

It's pretty common for people to sell their dogs. And usually it's from my experience, from people I know, the parents bought the dog as a puppy. The kids not take care of it,

[A]

so they just get rid of it

[G]

because the parents don't want to deal with it.

[A]

Dude, that's what it's not, right? No, it's not. When you want to get rid of a dog, you drive to the middle of nowhere and you let him out of the car, and then, no, it's not love. Because then somebody finds them, and then they don't have to buy a used dog. They get to save them.

[E]

Right?

[A]

Everybody knows that.

[B]

Or they join up with a bunch of other stray dogs and form a feral pack that goes on to maul young children in the neighborhood.

[A]

Or that.

[B]

So, you know, there's lots of ways it could go.

[A]

It is what it is. It is what it is. What's this? George?

[D]

Janko, X Jeff, it's an important update.

[F]

I just found H3, and that did not work out.

[B]

H3, Ethan Klein's podcast.

[F]

Dude, I don't think he likes me. I randomly saw.

[A]

Well, okay, I'll. I'll hear him out.

[D]

Hear him out first.

[A]

Hear him out.

[F]

Somebody sent me a clip of him saying something bad, and he just cracks jokes on everybody. I like watching his stuff. I think he's really funny. I even invited him on the show, and I invited him on the show, and that week I brought it up to somebody, and I was like, yeah, I invited, you know, a guy on the show, and they're like, oh, he. He doesn't like you.

[M]

So what? Do they really.

[B]

No, he would go on for sure.

[A]

Well, here's the thing. It's not that I don't like you. I just think you're kind of insane and, like, you host like Andrew Tate, which, again, you seem like a nice guy and whatever. Although you also seem homophobic and have a lot of weird.

[B]

I don't think you like him. I think he's right.

[A]

Wait, it's not personal, right?

[D]

He said you were funny.

[B]

What does that mean?

[D]

Keep that in mind.

[A]

And he seems misogynistic and.

[B]

Right. That sounds personal. And he said personally, don't like, probably.

[A]

Let's be honest, George. If I asked you about the Jews, you'd probably have some pretty interesting answers, including how many you want to call in. We could screen you. He did say I'm funny, though, which is important.

[M]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Bridge.

[A]

I feel like he only said that because he's scared.

[B]

You know, I don't know about that. That seemed genuine.

[A]

Well, everybody thinks I'm funny, so I guess that checks out.

[E]

True.

[A]

It's not personal. It's just. Yeah, it's based on his personality.

[B]

But, yeah, that's like. That's what I mean.

[A]

I don't like his personality or anything he believes or his aesthetic or the way he looks or anything. It's not. Is not. Yeah, his face.

[D]

He's rectangular.

[A]

Yeah, I just. Not a rectangular hole, buddy. I fit in oval holes. That's my whole human face shaped.

[B]

I think you liked him when Logan was bullying him on the show. I think that was the only time

[A]

that you were like, well, I didn't really know much about him because when he went solos, when he went off the rails, I think Logan, frankly, was keeping him on the rails.

[B]

That's exactly what I was about to say.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think in retrospect, Logan, he's the hero. He should have bullied a martyr.

[A]

He should have. But here's the thing, Mr. Janko, if that is your real name. Why don't we set up a call and I'll screen you and then we'll see kind of if we hit it off.

[B]

Why do you keep saying screen? What do you mean?

[A]

Well, I'm. I'm going to screen him to see if we hit it off. And if we do, then I'll go and.

[B]

Oh, the conversation. I thought you meant, like, screening a caller.

[M]

But you'll have, like, conversation with him.

[A]

Well, we'll talk. Well, we'll feel each other out, see if we mesh.

[M]

Yeah, okay. Screening is kind of weird.

[A]

No, it's a preview. It's like. Yeah, no, it's a screening. It's a pre. It's a pre Interview screening.

[B]

Doesn't really. But that wouldn't happen live on the show.

[A]

Right.

[M]

Is like behind the scenes. That's why this is not a screening. You just want him to call in.

[A]

Yeah, but it's a screening for the. For the main event.

[M]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. For the friendship.

[H]

He also said he reached out to you.

[A]

That I don't remember, but it's likely. If he did, I would. I would say no. I mean, again, not personal. I don't do anyone's show.

[B]

Okay. That part might be true.

[A]

I only do your show once. I feel so fucking guilty because you've probably done my show that I feel like I can't possibly say no. And you know what? I mean, it would just be so scoundrelly for me to say no. So at that point, I'll do your show. That's it. Shout out Jeff, though.

[M]

Yeah,

[A]

you know, shout out Jeff Wittek, everybody.

[B]

You, Jeff, then Cock.

[A]

Shout out to Hugh. Jeff and Cock, everybody.

[E]

Jeff Housenbold, by the way. Both callers today, same person. I'm gonna just keep going.

[A]

Let me test that. Let me test that.

[E]

Watch it.

[A]

Hi, caller. How can I help you? Yo, what the hell are you? First time. How you doing? What can I do for you, sir? Not much, man. I just think you're really funny.

[J]

Been watching you for like 10 years, dude.

[A]

You're just.

[J]

You're great. You're doing great. Dan is great. Oh, keep Dan on the team. Dan is the best.

[B]

Oh, thank God.

[A]

Somebody's gonna fire him.

[M]

Who's smarter?

[A]

I was just gonna fire him today after the show.

[J]

Don't do that. Don't do that. Dan's great. Dan's.

[A]

Good call.

[B]

What did you ask, Eloquence?

[M]

Who's smarter, Dan or Brian?

[J]

Dan, obviously. Easy.

[A]

That wasn't the question. To be fair.

[B]

Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want to care.

[A]

Brian is.

[B]

Who's really smarter than anyone else.

[A]

Brian is incredibly smart guy, though, so probably lose that too. No, than. I mean, you are very smart, Dan.

[C]

He's a good guy.

[A]

And you're a very good guy, Dan.

[B]

You're stupid.

[A]

All right, well, I appreciate all the kind words there, caller. Thanks for.

[E]

For.

[A]

Thanks for sharing all the positivity.

[J]

Hey, no problem.

[A]

All right, real quick.

[B]

Wait, real quick. Before you go. Did you call a minute ago? Was that you?

[E]

Huh?

[A]

I've been trying to call all day.

[J]

Yeah, what's up?

[B]

But this is the first time that you got through.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's the first time I got.

[B]

Okay, just making sure. Thanks. I appreciate that.

[E]

So we've had two callers and show history.

[J]

It's these.

[A]

These, by the way, these.

[B]

It's deez de's. What?

[J]

Yeah, it's these.

[A]

I hung up.

[B]

I think he was gonna do a Deez Nuts joke.

[M]

No, no, no way.

[E]

Oh, maybe he's saying that he's deets in the game.

[M]

Oh.

[A]

Oh my God. Are you deets in the game?

[B]

It's too late.

[A]

Oh, no. Can we bring them? Can we call him back?

[E]

Yeah, I just picked the phone back up. It's gonna connect to the same person.

[A]

Let's look at you guys. Remember? Of course you do. I'm happy, I'm healthy. I'm a human being. Yeah, he was in Spider man, bro.

[B]

Spoilers.

[A]

Here he is. I wonder if anyone will notice a happy neighborhood human with Spider man today. And I'm assuming that's him on the left. That's him on the left. Yeah. I wasn't even sure. Yeah, that's.

[F]

Huh.

[A]

Because he does like clothing for movies, I think, right?

[B]

Oh, yeah. He was like a wardrobe guy.

[A]

So I guess he has to be put in there.

[E]

Wow.

[B]

Just as like an extra or something.

[A]

Look at him beaming.

[E]

He's happy.

[B]

Of course he's happy.

[A]

As long as he doesn't show his teeth. He looks perfectly in place. Healthy, happy, healthy, happy, healthy, happy, healthy, happy, healthy, happy, healthy human being.

[K]

Boom.

[A]

That's my boy. I hope. I wish him all the best. Good guy. Rob Schneider's back. Love my boy, Rob Schneider. He's always here with comedy gold. Intelligence gold. Gold. Gold. He sells gold.

[B]

That's probably true.

[A]

And today he's unveiling his new passion project that he's poured countless hours into.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes, of course. That is something no other celebrity has done.

[B]

Before it's a sequel to White Chicks.

[A]

It is a bourbon called Tears of the Left. They have to have a right. The hot chick. Because if you take that right away, then the government is the one who

[N]

is deciding what is and doesn't or

[A]

what doesn't doesn't count as hate speech. And in what right mind, what person in their right mind could think the government would make a decision that would agree with you all the time?

[C]

It's giving into the. Mm.

[A]

Now what it is? No, wait, what did he say? Was it censored with you all the time?

[C]

It's giving into the.

[A]

Giving into the pussies.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Or maybe even maybe cut himself off. No, no, he was blurred. I think he may even said the T slur. Could think the government would make a decision that would agree with you all the time.

[C]

It's giving into the.

[A]

It's giving into the. No, what it is. No, what it is like.

[C]

And that's.

[A]

That's not as fun as it sounds. The gays giving it to the gays. Something like that.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not sure.

[A]

Oh, I think. Honestly, I think he said the T slur. If I had to guess, maybe he is edgy like that.

[D]

That's an interesting outfit to be homophobic in.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. What is happening?

[A]

I never seen a man covered in so much diamonds. Okay, that was straight.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Since Elton John. Let me tell you. Elton John is not straight, my friend. He's beautiful. Talented, great voice. Beautiful.

[B]

What a player.

[A]

Piano player. Wow. Wow. The guy's a pianist who knows how to play a pianist. Letting the most sensitive members of society being the ones deciding what everybody else gets to listen to and watch.

[C]

Yeah. But luckily we have something for that.

[A]

Tears of the Left Bourbon.

[J]

Wow.

[K]

He.

[G]

He.

[A]

He saw a spot for a plug and he was like, I'm taking it.

[M]

Amazing.

[C]

It has a nice aroma of January 6th. Yeah.

[A]

And you can if.

[B]

What does that mean?

[A]

You. You thought that was good. Wait, Tears of the who's crying after that? You guys were all the ones crying after that. Ah, got arrested. I got shot to death. Ow. Idiot. Like the left wasn't crying after that. It was all you guys in jail. You need to top me off. The second glass. The second glass of it, though, actually, you can. You can actually smell Hillary Clinton's concession speech.

[J]

I'm not.

[A]

I can't imagine actually making such a dumb, passe, unfunny hack joke. And at the year. Is it exactly like Tears of the Left? Are you serious? Rob Schneider? You're a professional comedian, man. That's so hacky. Nobody's buying this by the way. Also like alcohol is supposed to convey like class, like dignity, craftsmanship. Tears of the left. Nobody wants to be caught with that fucking bottle of Tears of the left for a hundred bucks.

[B]

A hundred dollars? Oh, it comes with a Patriot Tearstone.

[A]

What the fuck?

[D]

What?

[B]

It's to like to chill it. Instead of using ice, you use one of these like stones.

[A]

Wait, you don't want to put ice. You're too much of a degenerate to water it down. Just a touch.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Yai, what is that? Clip art, brother. You're trying to sell me a hundred dollar bottle of alcohol and you're putting clip art on your shit?

[D]

Looks like a piece of shit.

[A]

Yeah, it is AI. It's not even. It's worse than clip art. It's AI Clip art made by AI.

[C]

Right?

[D]

This reminds me of when Jeremy Boring from the Daily Wire had like the. Jeremy's razors, the anti woke razors he was gonna sell.

[B]

Right. I think they sold a lot of those razors. I hate to say it, really.

[E]

I.

[B]

That was, that was when they were like peeking over there at the Daily Wire.

[D]

Maybe that funded his movie that failed.

[B]

Maybe. Which one? There was quite a few that failed.

[D]

The anti woke one.

[B]

Oh, so all of them.

[A]

It's sold out. What?

[C]

Get out of here.

[B]

Well, the globalist tier stone edition is sold out. Okay, you can pre order the feminist tier one. Would you like me to the DEI tier?

[A]

Can you tell me what's the difference?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

Other than that the clip art comes

[B]

with a DEI tier instead of a feminist tier.

[A]

But in the picture they look identical. No other different color.

[B]

This one's gay with purple hair and this one's a woman.

[A]

Well, you don't like women?

[B]

Well, not feminists obviously.

[A]

Women are obviously gay, bro. All right, well there it is guys, you know, awesome. So happy for.

[B]

I'm ordering. I already ordered. It's on its way.

[A]

What a hacky dope bitch. Loser. Holy fuck. God, there's nothing funnier than like right wing comedy. Like that has to be the worst genre of comedy of all time. I mean, who's doing right wing comedy? It's Rob Schneider, the guy from Half Baked.

[B]

Joe Rogan.

[A]

Yeah. Honestly, his comedy is bad enough to even make the cut. Who's the guy from Half Baked? Oh, Jim Brewer. God, he is so. He's even hackier maybe than Snyder.

[B]

That's tough. I don't know. They're both.

[A]

Pull up some of his bits. Dude, I'm telling you, it's skin.

[H]

It is just Roseanne Barr.

[A]

Roseanne Bar, Fox News. She used to be funny. That's the crazy thing, right, man?

[B]

Until she became right wing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's see.

[A]

Oh, that's what. So Shane. Shane Gillis is probably like right wing. Those comedies not like about being.

[B]

Yeah, he probably leans a little right. But I don't know about his comedy. Yeah, his necessarily like leaning into that, you know.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Tim Allen is listed as a right wing comic.

[A]

Yeah. He's not. He's not really out there doing.

[B]

I don't even think he really does stand up anymore. Dennis Miller. I mean, is he alive? Dennis Miller still alive.

[A]

Of course I remember this.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

24 million views. People were so hyped about this.

[B]

It's the greatest commercial ever.

[A]

I. I am always trying to run down my employees in my car. Do you remember when there were two genders and only one and a half of them had to shave their mustaches? Oh, sick. You remember when there was only two genders? Those were the days. Yes. Hi, I'm Jeremy Boring, CEO and God king of the Daily Wire. Harry's raised. This is so cringe, bro. Used to advertise on our shows. They're a great product and we were happy to do it. That's before some peon who works for. For me went and said that boys are boys and girls are girls and that was just too much for Harry's.

[B]

Shane Gillis is more center. Center left. Okay, fair enough.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't listen to this podcast, so I don't have like a. I think an insight into it.

[A]

I think center is more accurate. Center left might be a little cold.

[J]

Okay.

[A]

Held by millions of Americans and virtually every human who's walked the planet till about 15 minutes ago as inexcusable. And they dropped their ads to. From our network because of what they called values misalignment. You're damn right our values are misaligned. And it's not just Harry's either. Gillette Razors used to be the best a man could get. Then they decided that men are too toxic. 24 million views on this thing, man.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

Now let's check in on the data.

[B]

It's the greatest commercial ever, though.

[A]

So that's what they said.

[B]

It's literally called that.

[A]

The last upload is the Odyssey Review. Wait, what? Oh, they're fighting. The boys are fighting over.

[B]

Boys are fighting. 29k views in 4 days.

[A]

This one got.

[B]

This is the main channel.

[A]

Yeah. The Daily Wire.

[B]

That's the late, you know, I saw. Who was it? I think it was actually like a New York Times article I was reading where somebody did like a pretty broad analysis of the right wing sort of Internet sphere of the Daily Wire and, you know, Benny Johnson and all of those kind of channels. And across the board, huge nosedive in viewership for all of them. For all of them even. I was surprised to see even Candace Owens views are way down.

[A]

How? No way.

[B]

I mean, from where they were. I think she still does well, but

[A]

where they were when?

[B]

Or like end of last year.

[K]

It feels a little fake again.

[B]

It's like in 2026. Specifically, it like cratering numbers for that entire ecosystem. Let me see if I can find the article because the charts were pretty wild. Oh, Galia's got it.

[E]

I think

[A]

the MAGA media machine is fracturing. Login.

[B]

I think I'm logged in over here. I'll open it for you.

[D]

Sec.

[J]

Foreign.

[B]

So this is for like the top 12 right wing influencers overall, like combined numbers. So you can kind of see the trend. I mean, it's cut in half on YouTube from this.

[A]

Honestly, I don't. I don't think this is a big. I think with these types of influencers it's always like a cycle with basically what's going on and.

[B]

Well, it's a midterm year. This is the year that it should be going up, not the other way around.

[A]

It's still not till. Well, I guess it's coming up here pretty soon.

[B]

It's coming up soon. I mean, it's. The primaries are actively happening right now. Rumble views even way down. And then. Yeah, here's like Benny Johnson here. Candace Owens, she's on here.

[A]

Oh, she's. Wow.

[B]

Yeah, she peaked. When is this? October of last year. And it's been a steady decline.

[A]

Who's still up there at the top? Is that Tucker.

[B]

Tucker.

[A]

Wait, Benny Johnson.

[B]

Benny Johnson's at the top. That's. I mean, I would say it's shocking, but I don't know.

[A]

Have I had a run in with him?

[H]

Yeah, on Piers Morgan.

[A]

Oh yeah, Piers Morgan, right.

[G]

Damn.

[B]

Tim Pool is in the dump, but he's been in the dump.

[A]

Crowder, all those fucking rejects. Like, the dude legit is fake.

[B]

So. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. It's probably a combination, a bunch of things. It probably doesn't help that Trump is the least popular he's ever been, so.

[D]

Oh yeah, that. That month was a month after Charlie Kirk died.

[A]

So hot.

[D]

So that's probably why her numbers were

[A]

super so hot for them. Gotta be a conservative influencer after Charlie Kirk was assassinated. What a gold rush.

[B]

Well, Candace was the one that benefited the most by embracing the all the conspiracy theory angles. But yeah, maybe that's starting to wear thin too.

[A]

All right, let's move right along here too. Say new AI campaign for Republican running for for governor. Let's take this. Take a look. What? Yo, this AI is so ridiculous right now. Oh, can you pull up what George Lopez posted of his niece at a Mario Lopez? That shit was weird, bro. And that's once again your brain on Jesus. The machine rules California. Nothing will ever change the holistic. This problem continues to worsen in California. Gas prices in the state have reached a record high. Another local fever has closed down in Santa Monica.

[J]

Things have just gotten so expensive. I don't know if we can continue living here. We just want someone, anyone to hear us.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

We've got to figure out this governor thing. I do it forever, but it's my

[B]

turn to be president. Bring in the machine.

[A]

The Democratic nominee is Javier Becerra.

[B]

The Biden guy who lost all those kids.

[A]

Can't be right. Run it again. Becerra. Welcome. The machine picked you.

[I]

The machine.

[A]

The thing we created to make sure nothing ever changed. I just unwatchable.

[B]

Too long.

[A]

Just unwatchable. Honestly, this.

[C]

God.

[A]

So enough is enough. Let's fix California. The you talking. You didn't put any effort into this. How you going to fix? You going to have AI do all your work for you? Ass. Charles Curran. Yeah, right. Idiot. And finally, crazy ukulele guy in his car for the goofs today. Let's take a look. Oh yeah. This is my find. I'll say. I'll say it. Well, I'm proud. When I found this, it had like 100 likes. And I couldn't believe that I found this type of gold on my feed. It's just so fucking bizarre. And I was one of the first people to get it. So I'm very happy and proud to say that

[B]

you're taking credit for that.

[A]

No, I'm not taking credit for blowing up. Taking credit for being early. That I'm. I'm I'm kind of speak it out though.

[B]

It just showed up on.

[A]

Yeah, no, I know, but I'm saying I'm a trailer. I'm a trailblazer. In terms of like what? I'm ahead of the curve. Like I'm at the bleeding edge.

[B]

But it's by no action of your own.

[A]

Only that I've Curated my content.

[K]

Yeah, that. Yeah, that's his algorithm, Dan. That's something special.

[A]

It is. Thank you. Tomorrow they cure it. The company based on my interest. What?

[B]

I mean, they decide your interest for you.

[A]

Okay, then why isn't this on your feed?

[B]

Dude, I don't look at my feed. I don't use Instagram.

[A]

Exactly. If your mother didn't fuck your dado, you wouldn't be here.

[C]

I said.

[A]

Now. You might think he's kidding or doing a character. He's not. I've looked. I'll check. Look at his titty right here.

[B]

No, this is. This guy is very much himself. Yeah. Spark up, brother.

[A]

Swing. That's the wrong way to play guitar. He actually has a slide on. What are you gonna say, Dan?

[B]

He's wasting that joint.

[A]

He's got plenty.

[B]

Hit it or pass it, bro.

[A]

So let's see what else he's been up to. He's just. This is very kind of content he makes. This is just. Yeah, here he.

[H]

It kind of sounds like Primus. Like, a little bit.

[A]

What you mean? What you mean kind of?

[H]

You.

[A]

You almost see the harmony. The dissonance, rather.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. No, there's beauty in that dissonance, sure. Oh, he plays the full size guitar.

[A]

Too fretless.

[B]

So that is.

[A]

It says, no man, alive or dead can play better than I on the fretless.

[B]

So that's. That is not a fretless guitar.

[A]

Well, it might just be lines, but it does. Yeah, it might just be lines.

[B]

I don't. I don't think so.

[A]

It does seem like there's a rise here. Yeah, well, maybe he's just. Maybe he's talking about this one with the slide.

[B]

I guess you could argue it's fretless. It's not using the frets with the slide.

[A]

That's probably what he means. Could just be talking about a different guitar.

[B]

Yeah, maybe.

[A]

I mean, what do you think, Zach?

[H]

Genius. I bow to thee. Really?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

You actually are into that, huh?

[A]

Well, Instagram. I'm the only one on the lake out here. Except for toty frogs. Yellow Grand Bigfoot.

[B]

I wasn't expecting to be on the shore.

[A]

Only one. Well, in. I'm the only one. What a.

[B]

What is his. What is his life?

[H]

He's living, dude.

[A]

Yeah. This is a nice shot.

[B]

What does he do for work?

[A]

You know, raising the old balls up.

[M]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Balls.

[M]

Whoa.

[A]

You have to have a ball extraction. So he's right about that, actually. Like, for example, in. In. In the car. Now you get out of the seat. There's Like a lip, you know, at the edge. So you have. I've noticed that I've had to start getting out more carefully because your ball can get caught on that ledge. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Because I know exactly what you slide out.

[B]

No, I. I'm really not. What is the MC Zach knows talking about on the edge? Like the left.

[A]

So a side. A seat is shaped like this. Look.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then it goes up a little bit sometimes more like in Hila's car, it's more sharp. So when you're getting out, if you slide out, you're. If you slide, your balls can get stuck on the lip. See, that's the part smash you. You are.

[D]

You shouldn't be sliding anymore. Jolly Ethan. I understand, but I find the slide interesting.

[A]

Why scooter? I scoot out. Especially if I'm holding a bunch of stuff. So I have to. I just go, okay.

[M]

You're like.

[A]

Like, yeah, I'm scooting out.

[B]

I still don't understand what's.

[A]

How's it getting?

[B]

It's not like it's hooked.

[I]

No.

[A]

Well, it stops it, and then your body rolls over it.

[M]

I think I understand that. And I don't have those.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Zach knows.

[H]

No. You know ball balls.

[A]

I know ball ball. You know ball balls. Dano.

[H]

You know bubbles.

[M]

You want me to draw it for you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Actually, this guy explains it. You just listen to him. Well, he's Instagram. I love that he plays guitar all day and still sounds like that. It's sick. Also, he pulls those pants up so damn high. Live for it. This guy knows how to be chubby. You know what I mean? No's. I am raising the old balls, okay. Because that's what the doctor said. Because if you sit on your balls, you have to have a ball extraction. Now I'm not.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I'm not sitting on your balls. Which. Listen, I get that it's different. That again.

[A]

Well, I'm not at the point where I'm sitting on my balls.

[B]

That's good.

[K]

What's a ball extraction? When they remove the balls.

[A]

I think he didn't use the right word. I think a contortion is probably what he was.

[E]

Right.

[J]

Yeah.

[H]

It's when the vaz deference get twisted.

[K]

It happened to my brother.

[A]

It did.

[M]

Oh, my God.

[A]

How did it happen?

[K]

I don't know. But I know he was in pain for a really long time before he said anything to my parents.

[M]

Oh.

[A]

And then he had to have surgery much younger.

[K]

Yeah, he was. Yeah. He was a child.

[A]

Oh, that's so scary. What a poor.

[B]

What a. No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

Oh, my God. No, no, no, no. Poor guy.

[E]

Horrible.

[B]

Yeah, we didn't like that.

[K]

Yeah.

[M]

Yeah.

[A]

So what happened? He did a surgery. They got it all worked out. Your brother.

[K]

They untwisted it.

[A]

They're untwisted?

[M]

Yeah.

[H]

Does he have one testicle now, or were they.

[K]

No, he's.

[A]

No, stop it, Zach.

[H]

That's a legit question.

[A]

No, you don't. No, because you want to call.

[B]

I don't know if you could.

[K]

Does he want to What?

[A]

Does he want to call in and talk about hurting?

[H]

Is.

[K]

He'll probably be like, why did you.

[A]

Why have you done this?

[B]

Could you not have shared that?

[K]

No, like, it's fine. He definitely would be.

[A]

It's just a matter of.

[M]

I think I made a little drawing for you to explain what. I'm.

[B]

Okay. Thank you.

[M]

That's happening.

[B]

Yeah.

[M]

So, like, you're trying to get. Trying to slide out of the seat when you do, like. Like this motion.

[B]

Yeah.

[M]

It can go, like, under leg. Is that what you mean?

[A]

The drawings a little get caught on your leg.

[B]

See, that's different. That she say. Makes it more sense, actually. No, that's not right on the lip.

[A]

The lip is what you need to lift yourself over the lip.

[B]

I feel like it would just slide right on over.

[H]

You get dragged.

[A]

Dude, what is he talking about? Dan?

[H]

You get dragged.

[A]

You don't know. You don't. Ball, ball, ball.

[H]

You know, ball, ball.

[A]

You know, ball, ball.

[B]

Brian would probably know about this.

[H]

Brian would know about this.

[G]

How loose are your balls in your shorts?

[A]

I'm telling you. That's why it's kind of weird. Sit on my balls. Dan is like, oh, yeah, I know what it's like to avoid sitting on my balls. That's not a problem. I have.

[B]

Okay.

[G]

It's happened.

[K]

You guys have sat.

[A]

Well, there's. I knew it can happen. There's that video that is so funny.

[B]

The best video of all time.

[K]

What video?

[A]

The old guy, he sits on and then winces in horror for no apparent reason. It's so funny. Oh, it's one of my favorites.

[B]

There it is.

[A]

Yeah. This one. Why?

[C]

Right?

[K]

But didn't he just close his legs on his balls?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, no, I think. No, he's settling in. I think he settling in. He's clearly. His pants are way too tight. The way his head flies back is. Oh, bro. Yeah. You girls have no idea, bro. You can just imagine. You can just. I'm serious. Imagine you could just sit down and face with this, you know, traumatic situation just from sitting, crossing your legs. And this guy's been around, like, he knows how to ball ball.

[B]

Knows how to ball ball.

[H]

See, what I think the situation is here, due to the tightness of the pants, the testicles went to one side.

[A]

They're all. Yeah, they're in some.

[D]

I figured because the pants are so tight, when he crossed his legs, that middle seam just, like, created a division sign with his nut sack. Straight pulled him apart.

[H]

Pemdas, dude.

[A]

Well, the problem would be if it pulls it apart. The problem would be if it pulled on one directly and it, like, smashed it. That would be the problem, that. You know what I mean?

[D]

I can see that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Awesome.

[A]

Learned a lot.

[H]

Did you?

[M]

There we go. There's then the producer, Maximus.

[A]

What's that, Zach?

[H]

Did you check out side neck? I sent him in the chat.

[A]

I'll look at that. Yeah, in a sec.

[H]

I'm about.

[A]

I have. I've seen one of his videos, but. 150ft from the lake, and I dragged.

[C]

Mike, Hi. I can.

[A]

I'm making a trail from the lake to Swift Creek, which is this way. Oh, cool. Update with that. I'll come a long way in a year. That's right. There's no. There's no talking in that one. 33 likes. 33 like. Oh, no. 30. Yeah, 33 likes. You're not saying. I am dirty. I am sweaty and dirty, but I have lost a lot of weight.

[H]

80 pounds.

[A]

Really? Good for you. Oh, my goodness, guys. Had an interesting life.

[H]

He looks like Mr. Incredible.

[B]

He also kind of looks like side neck, if I'm being honest.

[C]

Yeah,

[A]

No, he. No, he's the bad guy for Men in Black.

[D]

I swear to God. That's what I was thinking.

[J]

I was.

[D]

When you were talking about your feet,

[A]

I'm like, how do you always get

[D]

these Men in Black villains?

[A]

He's putting on the human skin, rolling down.

[G]

Thank God for that.

[A]

But just want to check in with you guys and let you know that I'm going out in the lake with the old pirate ship, the Purple Virgin. As the great Lee Smith from the UK decided, wow, his angles are cool.

[F]

Whoa.

[A]

Look at that thumbnail. 15 likes yakkadoodle doo. I'm stuck in the mud. Oh, no, the sand. But it's raining. That means it'll pack the sand down and I will get out of here.

[G]

I will yakkadoodle do.

[M]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Everything is.

[C]

What?

[H]

Whoa.

[A]

What the fuck?

[M]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, man. He's really a Passionate guitar player. I mean, look at all the times he spent on the guitar.

[M]

Seems like he's by himself, too.

[A]

Yeah. Solo. Lone wolf. Shred. There it is. He's feeling that.

[H]

It's all about the feel, dude.

[A]

It doesn't matter if you rock hard enough.

[H]

It doesn't matter.

[A]

It doesn't matter what it sounds like. It just matters how your soul feels.

[E]

Right?

[A]

Here's this first video. Best of 2016. A dark wow. A bunch of dark, empty photographs. One hand on a keyboard. A cave. A tree. Trailer. Trailer yard.

[B]

Oh, a little ladybug.

[M]

Well,

[C]

well, well.

[A]

Okay. A lady might be his dog. I don't know who's that lady was. But very well. Many years ago.

[B]

Through the thick and ascend.

[A]

Wait, what the am I listening to? The storms have come. I have one to have. Nothing on my.

[B]

Okay. Daughter.

[J]

Yeah.

[A]

Those that have been with me.

[B]

This is being a little silly there. Oh, lunch.

[A]

Mystically moving. Best.

[F]

Yes.

[A]

Best of 2016, y'. All.

[B]

Oh, April. I understand.

[A]

No, it said 2016. Best of 2016.

[B]

April twist prevailed through the song.

[A]

It can't hold me down. It can't kill me. Because I'm the strong sound of something. Something that you'll never understand. Not important, you know, because I'm the man. I'm the one.

[B]

I've been here.

[A]

I've always been here. I'm the one. All right, Get a little delusional. Thank you to the crazy ukulele guy, also known as

[B]

that Mario Lopez thing you wanted is in the discord.

[A]

Alan Marshall, Spring. Everybody walk. Viewer warning. I do not know what goes on on his page, and there's no oversight because it's very little views. So if you see some weird dick or something, don't blame me. You know what I'm saying? So can someone explain to me why Mario Lopez thought this was cool to post? He went to. Earlier, he went to a Dodgers game with his niece. Okay. And then. So that actually happened. I guess. Here's the real photo. Hila. You might want to watch this. Okay, so Mario Lopez went to a Dodger game with his niece. I mean, here's the photo.

[D]

Possibly. We don't even know that that happened. He could have just gave it a prompt.

[A]

No, I think. I think they actually did go to a Dodge.

[K]

Again.

[D]

Let me look.

[A]

But at any rate, here. Here. Here's what he posted. I can't take her anywhere.

[J]

What?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[F]

Look at you.

[C]

So good.

[A]

You're a mess. The mustard.

[M]

What?

[A]

That is what? So strange that you would post that. What? What and then with the caption, I can't take my niece anywhere.

[M]

Are we missing anything? Not that anything could really help this, but what?

[A]

Also, I found the whole thing, like, bizarrely suggestive.

[C]

Yeah, of course.

[D]

Well, yeah. Like, what was the prompt? Young girl puts hot dog in her mouth. Like, that's.

[A]

It's obviously the way she's rubbing it all over makes it.

[M]

Yeah, obviously.

[A]

I don't know, man.

[M]

But why?

[B]

So he has deleted it. I'm seeing.

[A]

Yeah, he posted and then erased it when everyone was like, that is weird, Uncle Mario. I can't take her anywhere. Oh, my God, look at you.

[J]

So good.

[D]

You're a mess.

[A]

The mustard.

[K]

So how out of touch is this? I don't really know anything about him.

[A]

I think he's. He's like a born again mega Christian. And he was in Saved by the Bell, but now he just, like, hosts really bizarre underground TV shows.

[M]

Did he say anything?

[B]

Underground TV shows? He's been the host of. What is it called?

[K]

Dancing with the Stars.

[B]

Not extra. The other one.

[H]

No, it is extra.

[D]

But also he's in every hotel room. He hosts the. Like when you check into a hotel. Like, the.

[A]

He's bizarre.

[B]

He has.

[A]

He has bizarre gigs,

[M]

but he's, like, family friendly. No.

[A]

Yes, very.

[B]

Oh, wait. He used to be the extra guy for a long time, and now he's the Access Hollywood guy.

[K]

He.

[B]

He swapped.

[H]

Changed teams.

[B]

He changed teams, dude. He got traded.

[H]

Yeah.

[M]

So did he make any apologize?

[B]

Well, I don't like that. I don't like that he posted that.

[K]

I need to know if he actually went with his niece, and if she saw that and was like, that's funny.

[A]

I think she. He posted this without showing it to her.

[M]

Is the niece even real?

[A]

No, it's real. Yeah, he has a niece.

[K]

But like AB Was saying. But I don't know. I just don't know how. Clearly. Maybe he's got to be super out of touch.

[A]

I guess it's possible he's out of touch. Or it's possible that he's just like a fucking really sick, perverted weirdo.

[H]

Well, since he's posted this, the Dodgers have lost five in a row. About to be sick.

[B]

You think he did that?

[H]

Yeah, this motherfucker did it. It's 71 Cubbies right now. The Cubs are about to sweep us. Fucking Red Sox sweep those.

[M]

I mean, that video is cursed if I ever saw a curse.

[H]

It's bullshit.

[B]

That is bullshit.

[H]

That's fucking Mario.

[G]

So Galia sent them hanging out at the Dodger game.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, it's real. So he has a niece. And they were. This is a real photograph that launched this whole bizarre. So here they are. Yeah.

[M]

Okay.

[A]

Here they're at the game before. Moments before tragedy. Dodger dog on the grill out here. But the Dodgers might be even hotter. Big moves. Let's go school. Not anymore.

[M]

Oh, my God. What? So he. Did he really just think that was, like, funny or something?

[A]

That's the only explanation total. That doesn't Boomer mode.

[B]

I mean, he.

[M]

That is the boomer is not even an explanation. Like, that's insane.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, if you have a brain, you would see that. That's just.

[M]

Why would you sexualize your niece next to you and post it?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

What's up?

[K]

You ready?

[A]

Here's my hot niece. Slamming. I wish I could see her slam a bunch of hot dogs to her dome.

[H]

It's okay. We're not blood. But she's my niece.

[A]

How's that? Like. Wait, no. How's that possible?

[H]

Something you would say.

[D]

It's his sister's daughter and actually her father's a retired NFL player.

[A]

No, it'd definitely be related to him if it's his niece.

[H]

Yeah, I know. I'm just saying that's something he would say to get out of the trouble. Not blood related.

[K]

I feel bad for her.

[A]

Yeah. Like, she's kind of the put in the middle of this really bizarre scandal.

[M]

Hi.

[A]

I'm so excited you bring him good luck today.

[M]

I can't believe it.

[A]

That is the last time you go out with Uncle Mario. I told you that guy's weird. I can't believe. Bring him luck. Let's make it another W. Have a great day, everybody.

[F]

God bless.

[A]

Go blue and salute. Yep. And then. Then. Tragic. Other than a Dodger dog on the grill out here. Let's see. He tagged Dodgers on with Mario Lopez, whatever the that is.

[B]

He's on.

[A]

Marissa Wong.

[B]

That's her. That's the news.

[A]

But then there's two girls.

[D]

That's her mom.

[A]

That's. So this is his sister. The mom got it. That's his sister.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

And then this is his niece.

[J]

Yeah.

[A]

Kalia. Who got. Who got a hot dog? AI Hot dogged. Hotter than a Dodger dog on the grill out here. But the Dodgers might be even hotter. Big moves. So that's.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

It's kind of interesting. Just bizarre and interesting. Huh. Talking about AI.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Especially because he has, like, such a clean image or tries to give off on.

[A]

The only explanation is that he's so Boomer and out of touch and like hasn't really seen AI before and he's like, wow, this is amazing. That.

[M]

But that is not an explanation because what happens in the video is sexualizing his niece.

[B]

Right?

[M]

So like I can understand being like, oh, AI is cool. And like I'm just gonna post a stupid AI meme that could be Boomer. But what, why?

[A]

I would have cut out the end.

[M]

I would have cut out the whole thing.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I'm just trying, I'm trying to help you, Mario. Okay. He was baptized in like the river of Jordan or some. You remember that video?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So what, what are you going to say to God now, huh? God's gonna be like, I want to let you in. I really want to let you in, Mario. But that AI with your hot dog video so wild, dude. I don't know. I can't take her anywhere. Oh my God, look at you.

[B]

So good.

[C]

You're a mess.

[A]

The mustard dude, that's just so weird, man.

[K]

I don't think. I don't really listen if you've watched any porn and you watch that back you. Why would you post that? Like that's such a weird.

[A]

Maybe he's never seen porn. He is your soul.

[K]

Like, I'm sorry. Like that's so like, it's so what

[A]

your uncle posts that you ever see? You ever look at him again? Thank you.

[B]

You.

[D]

I'm actually trying to replicate what he did because I. I see like when you post something, there is like a generate button.

[A]

Like I think he post if I

[M]

was his sister and he did that and that was my daughter.

[A]

It's actually even more up though. Yeah. Cuz she's going to be getting all kinds of weird attention from that.

[M]

No words.

[A]

That's a good idea. You should pick take a picture of me and you together ab and see how far it has to go before something that bizarre happens.

[D]

All right, I'll try it. But you're taking the hot dogs.

[A]

How about you and that picture of you and Idubbbz? Let me find it. We'll do an experiment. I can't hear you.

[B]

So where'd that come from?

[H]

What?

[A]

Oh, what? Nobody asked you?

[C]

No.

[A]

Wait, what did we just order or do?

[M]

Oh yeah. Oh, it's just us because you just asked Lena.

[B]

Oh, Hila did it. Okay, no big deal.

[A]

I thought I saw if you had ordered it.

[K]

Yeah, I got my own thing and then. Oh, then, then I was very. I couldn't believe it.

[M]

You want half of my coffee? Then I'll Share it with you.

[B]

Don't have to. What? Sorry.

[M]

You want half of my coffee?

[C]

Never mind.

[J]

Headphone.

[K]

She was. She was wondering if you wanted half of her cough.

[B]

Oh, no, I'm good. Thank you.

[M]

Sure.

[A]

Oh, here. Oh, this here. He's mentioning a Dodger Dog. This could be a further here.

[C]

But the Dodgers might be even hotter.

[F]

Big move.

[A]

No, no, this is the same one. Third time you've this the same one. Yeah. We've watched this many times now. Many times.

[K]

Yeah. This man is a pervert. Not that surprising, though.

[M]

You're saying boomer brain. I'm saying groomer brain.

[A]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold the phone, Ethan. Yeah, here.

[B]

Somebody. There's an alternate angle.

[A]

Oh, God. Where's this going? Oh, it's the same video.

[G]

That's a good find, Dan.

[A]

Yeah, let me watch it. Hotter than a Dodger Dog on the grill out here.

[C]

But the Dodgers might be even hotter.

[F]

Big move.

[A]

Yeah. So I wonder if this is the. Had anything to do with it.

[B]

Yeah, me too.

[K]

Maybe that was the prompt.

[A]

Anyway, you got any other angles or we could move on here? I got the. I got another angle here for you guys. This one looks new. Oh, my bad.

[B]

You know what?

[A]

I think that.

[B]

I think that actually is the same.

[A]

What is it? How about that? Yeah, I want it. Yeah, I want it.

[H]

All right.

[A]

Any new angles? I could do this for hours, bro. Don't test me.

[B]

No more angles.

[E]

No more.

[A]

And then somebody else sent me. Was it you? Zach sent me something I was asking for.

[H]

Oh, side neck.

[A]

Yes. Oh, here. Side neck. Yeah. So this is, I guess, a new thing. Like, you got long neck. You've got wide neck. Wide neck. And now you have side neck.

[H]

Side neck.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Cool, dude, they gotta link up.

[M]

Wait, what

[A]

do you think you are.

[C]

You might be on camera right now. I'm famous. I can't even help it.

[N]

When I land, switch hanging out the window.

[A]

Genuinely terrifying. Genuinely terrifying. No offense. Side note.

[M]

Wait, what happened to his neck?

[A]

I think it's probably a birth defect.

[C]

All right, here we go, bro.

[H]

And it's just me and you.

[C]

I'm pumped.

[D]

Yeah, brother.

[C]

Last time I got stuck with the worst guy.

[A]

Yeah. Look at this weather. This is a perfect day. Hey, guys,

[N]

I'm sorry.

[A]

I forgot to tell you. You have a joiner. You have a joiner. You have a joiner. Do you have a joiner?

[K]

Do you have a.

[M]

Have a join?

[A]

That's funny. I just follow.

[C]

Here we go, bro.

[M]

And it's.

[J]

Oh.

[A]

What happened to the rest of it, bro? I Was in. So that's Sideneck introducing to the world. What else is he up to? Damn side. Damn side neck.

[G]

Yep.

[A]

Let's see here. Look for something good.

[D]

Oh, my God, it's making me pay for grock. If I want to do this. $30 a month.

[A]

Just use Cha Cha Tea. Yeah, no, but you better use the 1. Use the 1 you use. Did he use grock?

[K]

Yeah, it's a creative Gro.

[A]

Versace. Versace, Medusa head on me, like.

[K]

I'm.

[A]

All right. I'm out of here. I want to watch this. Should we do the main story or. I don't know if I was wet, kind of putting it off because I'm drinking and eating. Maybe a little insensitive.

[M]

Yeah, let's finish the food.

[A]

Let's do RFK Snaps at cnn. I've actually been wanting to watch this. My boy rfk, always a pleasure. Rfk, just as a sneak peek here says he has no gag reflex. Guys. That's right. My boy rfk. We all finally know the answer. Everybody's been wondering. No gag reflex. None. Most exotic food that you've eaten.

[C]

The most exotic. I will literally eat anything because I don't have. I don't have.

[A]

But even with your anything, sir? Human flesh. Would you eat human flesh, sir? You say it like you have, Sir.

[H]

Oh, you're talking to me. My apologies. I was so entranced by what I was saying, and I'm blown away. Greetings and salutations to everybody in this room.

[A]

Hello, sir. Welcome to.

[H]

But. Yes, I stand by with what I said. I do not have a gag reflex.

[A]

No, but you said you would eat anything.

[H]

Anything. Yes.

[A]

Human. You said that like you've eaten everything.

[C]

I have?

[A]

Yes. Do human flesh.

[H]

I have?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Isn't that a crime?

[H]

Well, I mean, I'm in government, so I said the laws.

[A]

I'm not sure you're in the legislative.

[H]

Yes, I am.

[A]

Part of the government.

[H]

Yes, I am. Yes, I am.

[A]

Or the judicial. He says he is.

[M]

Do you just not puke like me?

[H]

I have no gag reflex. That is correct, yes. Did you see the movie the Odyssey?

[A]

Yes, I did.

[H]

Do you know the scene where they go to the island with the witch? That's what I do.

[A]

Which part?

[H]

The scene where I gather people that come into my home and feed them, stew and turn them into animals.

[A]

Oh, so you're saying you eat humans? What used to be humans?

[H]

Yes.

[A]

They're now pigs or whatever. Livestock. They used to be human.

[H]

I get the best of both worlds.

[A]

I see. That makes sense.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Thanks for clarifying.

[H]

No problem.

[C]

Reflex. Let me put it like that. Put it like that.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me go. He has eaten out everything because he has no gag reflex.

[C]

Reflex. I will literally eat anything because I don't have. I don't have. But even reflex. Let me put it like that. Put it like that. All I will.

[A]

Damn. Who is she?

[H]

Like to eat her out.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

Eat anything. And I'm. I love experimenting with foods. I love all different kinds of foods. When I travel, I'll eat, you know, even stuff I find on the street. You know, street vendors, cooking. So I.

[A]

But others who, you know, what have others been most impressed by about things that you've eaten?

[C]

What do you mean by that?

[A]

She wants to know the weird up you've eaten, bro. Why she got to spell it out? Tell us about when you ate a human heart. Like, is there stuff that you've eaten that people are like, wow, you ate that?

[C]

Like, something gross?

[A]

Or you mean like a dog or like a bear cub?

[H]

Been there, done that. Yes.

[M]

Like a whale.

[A]

A whale head?

[H]

Yes.

[A]

Maybe Gross for others.

[N]

Yeah.

[E]

Not for you.

[C]

Oh, I don't know.

[M]

A child.

[C]

I'm getting a signal not to answer that question.

[H]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yep. He definitely inhuman. Oh, yeah.

[H]

Have you ever been to SeaWorld?

[A]

Yes, sir.

[H]

That's my buffet.

[A]

Oh, come on. Those animals are so nice and tasty.

[M]

It was interesting how he said, I'll eat anything off the street. Like a food vendor or a child, Those two. Like, it sounded like he was going, like, anything off the street, but then he, like, reminds himself to not say anything too crazy.

[A]

I genuinely believe there's a solid chance he's tried human. Like, I actually believe that. I'm not kidding.

[M]

It kind of sounds like it.

[A]

He is the type of guy who'd be like, I just want to see what it tastes like. I've heard it included. It improves your immune system if you eat human of a child.

[H]

It does, yes.

[A]

Yeah, see, I heard that. All right, here's the full interview. Let's start with this. Lockdowns are the thing that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[N]

Secretary, for years, you have been one of the leading voices questioning the efficacy of vaccines. Do you accept some responsibility for this measles outbreak?

[C]

Absolutely not. First of all, this is an international outbreak. So. And we're doing better. Is it handling it than any country in the world?

[A]

Are we?

[C]

Mexico has 15 times the amount of measles per capita that we have. Canada has four times the amount.

[A]

Is that true?

[H]

Yes.

[B]

Not you.

[C]

Measles. England has two times the amount of measles that I cause those measles outbreaks. You're the most famous, and I caught 137,000 cases.

[N]

You're the most famous vaccine skeptic on the planet.

[C]

Let me tell you. Because actually, Anthony Fauci, in his diaries, answers the question about why we're having a measles outbreak right now. The reason we're having a measles outbreak because of the COVID lockdowns, because people didn't like children during that period, did not get vaccinated.

[A]

So it's pro measles vaccine.

[C]

And in his diaries, he says this is going to cause massive outbreaks in measles and more children. He says, this are gonna die. Let me finish because you could accuse me of something.

[A]

It's interesting seeing him get worked up because he can't really express himself. He can't raise his voice.

[M]

I was just thinking.

[A]

But the intensity. There's an intensity as murderous intent in his eyes. He's ready to eat her ass.

[H]

I was.

[A]

I know, sir. I could tell. I'm glad you kept.

[H]

I have a thing for blondes.

[A]

I know, sir. I'm glad you kept it under wrap like your sister.

[H]

Yes. I was just going to say thank you. Nice Jewish girl. Thank you for bringing that up.

[A]

What sister?

[H]

My sister.

[A]

You have a hot blonde sister?

[H]

I do. And she sounds like me. Yes.

[A]

All right. Right. She hates you, though.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is all the more reason to eat her.

[H]

She hates us because she ain't us and I want to eat her anus.

[A]

All right, sir. She is probably more like you than anyone on Earth, though, to be fair.

[H]

Yes.

[A]

You said she hates you because she ain't you and ain't kind of is you. All right, thank you.

[H]

Please get back to the video.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[N]

I got you a question.

[K]

Yeah.

[C]

Let me give you the answer. He says in his diaries more children are going to die from measles because of these lockdowns than Covid. So if you want to know, and that age group that should have got the MMR, when they're 18 months and didn't get it, they're the ones being infected, the people in this country. And we have stopped the outbreaks at record speed in South Carolina and Texas and Utah and Virginia. We've done better than any country in the world. I dispatch immediately the epidemic intelligence services to those states. I get on the phone with the governor and we stop, and they're trying to.

[A]

Is he crying?

[D]

Wait.

[A]

Is he about to Cry. I genuinely. I can't tell what's going on with him. I think he's about to cry.

[C]

Let me tell you just one last thing.

[N]

Go ahead.

[E]

The.

[C]

The communities that are suffering from measles are almost all religious communities that just don't vaccinate. The Mennonites have not vaccinated since 1796. Since Edward Jenner.

[A]

Wait, it sounds like he is pro measles vaccine. So based. I think he's just anti. Like the new. I don't know. Let's find out here. I have a fact check. Fact check. AP Fake news. But that's okay. RFK Jr says the US is limiting measles outbreak better than the rest of the world.

[G]

Scroll down. Right there, the facts.

[A]

Measles is surging around the world. Other countries have seen bigger outbreaks, including Mexico and Canada. Overseas, most world regions logged higher case counts than America did in 2025. An ongoing outbreak in Bangladesh has killed more than 100 children. But the US is getting worse, not better at protecting people against the spread of measles because vaccination rates have been falling. And public health experts have been critical of Kennedy's response to the rise of measles because instead of forcibly advocating for more vaccines, he has been reluctant to promote them and cows down on their safety and promote other untested remedies. No shot. I gotta see those clips. Declining vaccine rates have helped fuel the nation's biggest surgeon measles cases since 91. And the 26 case count is already trending higher than last year's. Second last year's record breaking total. What is he telling people to do instead of take vaccine? RFK's mixed message about measles outbreak draws criticism. Somebody read these and get back. Get back to me.

[H]

All I know is what? You know what AP News stands for?

[A]

Associated Press?

[H]

Another. Get back to the video.

[A]

Sir, I'm. I'm. I am just searching for the truth.

[H]

As am I. And I provide the truth.

[A]

We should. You shouldn't be great.

[H]

Who is the one in charge?

[A]

Here is my show.

[H]

It's my country.

[A]

You own the country.

[H]

Yes, I do.

[A]

All right.

[H]

I told you I'd eat anything, right?

[A]

Yes.

[H]

Okay, well, sometimes Donald needs his ass eaten out.

[A]

Okay, that's. That's not what I meant.

[H]

My tongue. His balls too. And I got.

[A]

That's not. You know, that's not what we meant.

[H]

Yes, it is. I'm an open book. Yeah, just like Fauci's diary.

[A]

A little bit too open, if I'm being honest with you.

[H]

Open Your legs.

[A]

No, thank you. No, thank you, sir. Although I wonder if you do give good top sloppy, toppy.

[H]

Matter of fact, I have no gag reflex. I will be the little.

[A]

But you don't like that. I looked at tomorrow. She's like, well, you don't. You don't like the thought of no RFK going.

[K]

You don't want to hear. You don't want to hear what I didn't like.

[A]

Maybe not. I won't ask. I think you're probably right.

[C]

It's hard to blame that. I mean, as much as you want to blame.

[N]

No, I don't want to blame you. I'm asking you because you have a very powerful voice on these issues. For people who are skeptical that.

[C]

Let me finish. I've never questioned the efficacy of the MMR vaccine.

[N]

Okay, let me. Let me finish. What I want you to do is please use your bully pulpit to. Right now, as we're getting close to back to school, say, are you willing to say to parents who have not vaccinated their kids that they should vaccinate their kids for measles because it is

[A]

safe and it will help AB Breaking news from AB Here.

[D]

Took me so long.

[A]

Let's see. So here. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's. That's pretty good. Honestly. Honestly, it's pretty close. His is even more. But that. This one is pretty up. So what'd you type?

[D]

Let me see. I. I copied the text from what he said. Can you make a video where the guy on the right eats two hot dogs at once, spilling and rubbing mustard on his face, and the guy on the left says, I can't take her anywhere.

[A]

Kind of didn't. Even the rough.

[H]

I can't take her anywhere.

[A]

Why do they. Why does it include the rubbing? Like, you didn't ask it to do that, did you?

[D]

Yeah, I said spilling and rubbing.

[A]

Okay, you did. So what did Mario do to get that? That's strange.

[H]

I think we need to keep talking about Mario Lopez because the dodger game at 6, 7 right now, bro, Dodgers could come back and win. I think Mario's helping us now.

[A]

Well, it could be that because we stopped talking about him that the tides turned.

[H]

Could be. Could be.

[A]

You just don't know what it is. Maybe that's.

[H]

I just need the Dodgers to win.

[A]

All right, well, here, let's spirit bomb them. Dodgers win for Zach. Dodgers win for Zach.

[B]

I don't think the audience is going to want to participate in that. People don't really like the Dodgers.

[A]

I have power by myself. Powers.

[B]

That's not how spirit bomb works. You have to use energy of a large group.

[A]

Some people are going to send me this. Not everybody. I don't need everybody's spirit. Just some. What, you don't like the Dodgers?

[B]

No, I like the Dodgers.

[A]

Send your energy then.

[B]

I already did.

[A]

Do it. Do this. No, you have to do this to send it.

[B]

The energy.

[A]

Do it on camera.

[B]

It's in the mail. Checks in the mail.

[A]

Do this on camera. I need you to do this in front of the camera.

[B]

Okay, well, just so everyone knows. Already did it. So this is just for demonstration purposes, Zach.

[A]

If the Dodgers lose, you know who to blame.

[H]

No, that was really good of Dan. I really appreciate.

[A]

All right, well, give me your energy, Zach. You send it to Dan. Send it to me. I'm doing. I'm sending it to the Dodgers. I'm doing the spirit bomb. Chicago is that way. I'll send. Chicago is that way. Oh, my God, bro. You're the Dodgers. Gonna fucking lose, bro.

[H]

Probably. We suck.

[A]

Send me your energy, bro. Send it to me.

[H]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

Don't you know spirit bomb works, dumbass Mecca.

[H]

Like a high mecha hiney ho.

[A]

All right, anyone else want to drop some energy in the bucket? Anyone? Nobody?

[B]

No takers?

[K]

I would never trust you with my.

[M]

I just walked away. I don't know what. We're sending energy.

[A]

I'm doing. I'm helping the Dodgers win.

[K]

For that, Ethan is hosting a scam right now where he gets people to send him his energy, and he's actually using it for his own reasons. He's not actually sending it.

[B]

What?

[K]

Yeah.

[B]

Is this true?

[A]

He's using it forever.

[E]

Quest drops.

[A]

There's no. There's no evidence.

[K]

Hila.

[A]

Give me your energy. It's a spirit bomb for the dog.

[M]

Hila.

[K]

Of course. You would just willingly do it.

[B]

Nice.

[K]

Get scammed. Hila.

[A]

You sent me your energy dope. And now I'm about to use it on these nuts.

[G]

Boom.

[N]

Boom.

[B]

So you admit it?

[A]

No, I'm gonna send it to the Dodgers. That was.

[E]

No, you wasted it.

[A]

No, I don't make it.

[K]

You wasted it and you literally.

[H]

I was a ruined orgasm.

[M]

And now. Your balls are going to be bigger now and droopier and droopier.

[K]

They're going to get caught on everything.

[A]

Stop. I didn't send it, okay?

[E]

Ethan isn't sitting.

[A]

Stop. I didn't send the energy. Guys.

[E]

No, bro, you're not even sitting on a chair right now. You're sitting on your balls.

[M]

Yes.

[K]

You've been sitting on your balls the entire time.

[A]

Bro, guys, trust me. I didn't send it. You guys are being dicks. I'm sending the energy to the Dodgers. Zach here for the Dodgers, everybody. Okay? Put a little bit on my balls, but just a little bit. Mostly the Dodgers.

[H]

That wasn't first nut type shit. That was second nut type shit.

[A]

Didn't nut.

[H]

You nutted first. You're like these nuts.

[M]

We all saw it.

[B]

Yeah, we all saw it, dude.

[A]

Let's see if the Dodgers win.

[B]

You rubbed it all over.

[A]

If the Dodgers win, then I sent them enough energy, okay? And you can thank me, Zach.

[H]

I will.

[A]

If they lose, then we can talk.

[D]

Okay, So I was curious if Mario could have, like, added stuff to that same prompt to make it more. So I just added another line just to see. I was curious.

[A]

Let's take a look. What the. No. What the fuck, bro?

[B]

I fucking knew.

[H]

Knew it, bro.

[A]

Oh, my God. That was crazy.

[B]

I knew it.

[A]

Dude, is that real?

[D]

There's your spirit bomb.

[B]

That is real.

[A]

So tell me, why is there an order encounter if this is Denny's?

[B]

It's one of those hybrid Denny's. No, there's no hybrid combination Denny's. Kfc.

[A]

No fake footage, bro.

[B]

Damn, you really blew that out, bro.

[A]

Straight aerosol.

[B]

Got like baby powder up in there. Tulum powder.

[A]

Yes. For. It's for the. I like the theatrics of it.

[B]

You know, you're making Nate choke over there.

[A]

You all right, Nate?

[G]

No. Not

[N]

save their children's lives.

[C]

People on my websites, my public, right now, look into the camera that people, parents should get their children vaccinated for measles. Oh, he said it should get their children. My websites, my public, right now, look into the camera that parents should get their children vaccinated for measles.

[B]

You didn't say it to the camera, but we still approve this message to get vaccinated.

[A]

To be fair to RFK Jr. The human eater. Bear dumper.

[B]

Yeah, that's fair.

[E]

That's fair.

[A]

Whale decapitator. I believe he's always been pro vessels measles vaccines. He likes the old school vaccines. He doesn't. He just doesn't like the RNA stuff.

[K]

I don't.

[B]

I don't think that's accurate.

[A]

Well, fact check me, because I don't want to give him credit if he doesn't deserve it.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, the article that you opened earlier with the fact check said that for years he's promoted vaccine skepticism.

[A]

And that's true.

[B]

I think my understanding as well.

[A]

I think in general, what he does is causes skepticism you know, fact check me, though. You know what I mean?

[H]

I really enjoy the Chris angel program.

[A]

What's that mean?

[H]

I am the mind freak.

[A]

What does that.

[B]

Why?

[A]

What does that mean? No comment.

[C]

All right,

[A]

all right. No, we're not gonna.

[B]

I mean, I like that show, too, frankly.

[J]

Okay.

[B]

It doesn't make you special or anything.

[A]

Resonating.

[D]

You just want to know if he historically has been pro vaccine.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

I'm seeing that he has in the past. I'm seeing. The controversy last year was that he misled people about the measles vaccine.

[A]

What about it? That didn't sound good.

[D]

I'll follow up with you.

[C]

Measles vaccine, it's effective and it stops measles in about 97% of the cases. People should get vaccinated.

[N]

Can I ask you. The Wall Street Journal reported that the president is pressuring you to conduct studies probing the link between vaccines and autism. Is that true?

[C]

Did you say probing?

[H]

Did you.

[A]

Did you say autism? Did you say probing? Because I've got an asshole that needs a Look. The way he leaned in that. Did you say probing?

[N]

Link between vaccines and autism. Is that true?

[C]

Did you say probing the Lane.

[B]

You got a little excited.

[H]

Tickle in my anus.

[N]

Link between vaccines and autism. Is that true?

[C]

Did you say probing the link?

[N]

That.

[A]

Did you say probing the link? He got excited, bro. He went. This man has gone from anger to tears to sexual excitement in a matter of, like, a few minutes.

[N]

And autism. Is that true?

[C]

Did you say probing the link?

[N]

I'm just quoting the Wall Street Journal that they. That the president wants you to go further to probe the link between autism and vaccines.

[C]

He certainly does.

[N]

Okay. Now.

[A]

Yeah. Yes, the president is upset about how his old. His youngest son, Baron, has turned out. Not as good as Zach. Right, sir.

[H]

Thank you very much. Dodgers are about to lose.

[A]

Well, what's the score? Tell me.

[H]

It is six, seven, top of the ninth, two out. Ookie Betts is up to bat one one.

[A]

Come on, ukie. Let's go, Ookie. Kennedy misleadingly said the measles vaccine quote does not appear to provide material immunity. Kennedy downplayed the seriousness of a measles outbreak that is expanding, though he did say the vaccine stops to spread the disease and said the government should encourage it, but not for force it. Well, then what. What does he mean then? That. How can it stop it and also not provide maternal immunity? What is a maternal. What is maternal immunity?

[K]

The mom passed on through the mother.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[H]

I had a sexual attraction to my mother.

[K]

Most people do.

[A]

That is not true.

[H]

Why would you say that?

[A]

That's sick. Tamara, please. Why the would you have said that?

[H]

And the Dodgers just lost.

[K]

I. I was just talking.

[A]

Trying to do, like, a Freud thing.

[K]

Yeah, but I was also just talking with my friend.

[A]

Like, are you. There's someone there with you now?

[K]

No, I was talking with my friend.

[A]

Rfk.

[K]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. You're backing him up.

[K]

I was just trying to make him feel less lonely.

[A]

I see you're trying.

[H]

You want to be my friend.

[A]

He doesn't like Jews that much.

[H]

I haven't had a friend.

[A]

Never.

[H]

Not once.

[K]

Well, I like. He has a thing for science that I respect.

[D]

So you might cure his anti Semitism?

[A]

I met a nice Jewish girl. I've changed my entire mind about the Jews.

[H]

Even sat Shiva with her.

[A]

Wow. Who passed away. That's crazy that you guys did that together.

[H]

Free deli.

[A]

I gotta move on.

[N]

Have you talked to him about medical research that have studied this for 25 years and found no link between autism and vaccines? And just. This is my question here, because I don't want to litigate that. My question is, why not? Because you are HHS secretary now. Why not study what could cause autism, which scientists do believe starts with fetal brain development? Why not do some studies on that? Whether there's an environmental lawyer. Whether there are environmental factors that go into contributing to a predisposed genetic situation.

[C]

Let me say this. First. We're doing all those things. And as one of the ways that we found Tylenol, there's 73 studies out there. And link and Tylenol exposure during later pregnancy and during the perinatal period to autism onset. But you are wrong when you say that this issue has been studied. It has been studied. And you're rolling your eyes.

[N]

I am, Because.

[A]

Oh, no, he's leaning back forward.

[N]

I don't want to have you use our air to say this. There have been more than 40 studies involving 5.6 million people to conclude there is no link between vaccines and autism. This is the head of the Committee of Infectious Diseases.

[A]

Well, I'm the head of the Health Services here, and that's a load of bullshit.

[H]

I just love that anytime he talks, he just.

[A]

He comes out so hot out the gate. He's like Arnold Schwarzenegger. He's catching his bearing.

[N]

This is for the American Academy.

[C]

Let me tell you what the Institute of Medicine says, which is the National Academy of Sciences, which is the ultimate arbiter on vaccine safety, in which it does not have an interest in this debate. It Says that none of the eight vaccines that are administered during the first six months of life have ever been studied for relationship to autism. It found Tuesday.

[A]

We got to fact check that I'm begging.

[C]

Is one on the DTV vaccine and showed that it does cause autism and one on the hepatitis B vaccine and again suggests that it does cause autism. The Institute of medicine dismissed those two studies because they were based on CDC's database. The studies that you're referring to are all studies for one vaccine, the MMR vaccine or one ingredient, thimerizole.

[N]

So you are using. You are actually looking at. You're starting new studies to try to link autism, but you're also telling.

[C]

I'm trying to link autism to anything. I'm trying to find out why is autism caused.

[N]

Are you also trying. Are you also trying to find out how it interacts with people's DNA? What's predisposed to have an autistic child? Are you doing both?

[C]

Yeah, but. But Dana, you probably don't understand this because you're not a scientist, but. Jesus.

[A]

Oh no. Oh, no. He set himself up.

[C]

Dana, you probably don't understand this because you're not a scientist, but you're not either.

[A]

Oh, what's the response?

[C]

Own cause.

[A]

Hold the phone, sir. You have to respond because you're not

[C]

a scientist, but Jesus.

[N]

Well, you're not either.

[C]

Genes don't cause epidemic.

[N]

I understand genes.

[C]

Epidemic vulnerability.

[N]

A gene provides an environmental. That's what I'm asking. Are you studying the environmental.

[C]

Looking at all the different environmental exposures. But your statement. You have been fooled. Your statement that this has been studied is not true. It's categorical. It is considered any of this.

[N]

It is considered by every scientist who has studied this.

[C]

That is not true. I can give you hundreds of scientists.

[A]

I know a guy named Chris, he hates vaccines and he's got a PhD.

[H]

My top scientist is that gentleman that was playing the ukulele.

[C]

He's very.

[A]

He's a high level scholar. He's actually a graduate from Princeton Medical. He's not vaccinated either.

[C]

Those who have looked at this.

[N]

So on the one hand you are.

[C]

Do you understand why people aren't getting Academy of Sciences. What greater authority.

[N]

Do you understand why people are not getting measles vaccines because they're hearing you say that it could cause.

[C]

I'm trying to change the subject.

[N]

I'm not. It's very much related.

[C]

Show me one of the studies that's been done on the first eight. The vaccines during the first six months of life. You will not find them.

[A]

Okay, we got to fact check that. There's. There has to have been in the first six months of life, but. Okay, first six months of life. Vaccines linked to autism. He's saying there's never been a single study. I feel like that has to be a whole load of malarkey balarky to autism. We've never studied the link. Right, sir?

[H]

That is correct. Yes.

[A]

What is autism?

[H]

I don't know. Google it.

[A]

Oh man, here we go. Okay, we got a. We have a thorough fact. Do you want me to read? Was that over pasted?

[D]

Dan.

[A]

Okay, one sec. Dan's. Dan's on it. Yeah, hit me with some of that waiting music because I. I gotta. I gotta fact check this.

[H]

I wonder how uncle Brian is. Is doing right now.

[A]

He's probably fine.

[H]

He is a very smart intellectual.

[A]

Oh, you liked him. He's pro vaccine. You might not like that.

[H]

Well, people are open to change.

[A]

That's true. He might. He might be open to. You can't unvax yourself. I don't think. But I have really.

[H]

I've drained my own blood then drank it again.

[A]

Oh my goodness.

[H]

I told you no gag grief.

[A]

All right, let's see. Kenny said the Institute of Medicine says that none of the eight vaccines that are administered during the first six months of life have ever been studied for relationship to autism. Here's the fact check. Major scientists reviewed by the National Academy of Medicine, which was n. Which was renamed in 2015. The CDC, WHO and other international health bodies have repeatedly evaluated childhood vaccine schedules. Large scale population studies involving millions of children, including studies looking at the cumulative. Here's that damn word again. Cumulative.

[H]

Cumulative.

[A]

Thank you, sir. Cumulative number of antigens received in early infancy have found no association between the recommended vaccine schedule and autism spectrum disorder. So I wonder what he meant when he said.

[G]

It's just.

[A]

The fuck are you doing, bro?

[C]

The National Academy of Sciences.

[N]

So if that's the. Why are you telling people to get the measles vaccine?

[C]

Because that is one of the vaccines that has been studied, okay? It's the only one that has been studied.

[N]

Do you want people.

[A]

Okay, so he's the only vaccine he fucks with is the measles one. So shout out measles.

[B]

Interesting.

[H]

Shout out measles.

[A]

Let's get backs for one. For one.

[B]

I wonder why is that one okay?

[A]

It's been studied. Damn it. Weren't you listening, Dan?

[H]

Are you a fan of the Beatles?

[A]

Yes, sir. I love them.

[H]

What is your favorite Beatles?

[A]

Oh, who could. Who can pick? I mean, my God.

[H]

Your show, your time. All right, well, mine is octopus's garden.

[A]

Okay.

[H]

I'd like to be under the sea and sticking a vaccine in my pee pee.

[A]

What? That part. I don't recall, sir. I don't recall.

[H]

I believe Ringo wrote that.

[D]

That's true.

[A]

Not that line, though. That was you, sir.

[H]

Or my other one is obladeet. Don't poke me. Yeah. Nah, nah. I won't get vaccine.

[A]

So did you rewrite a whole album of Beatles songs?

[H]

You can purchase it on that website.

[A]

Crazy bro. Did Paul McCartney green line that?

[H]

Who?

[A]

The guy who wrote the music.

[H]

I'm not familiar.

[A]

Yo. I actually would. I would probably listen.

[B]

Wait, you know Ringo Starr, but you don't know who Paul McCartney is?

[H]

Yes.

[B]

That's interesting.

[A]

Okay, well, they were both in the same band, the Beatles.

[H]

I. I knew Pete Best.

[B]

You know who Pete Best is, but you know who Paul is?

[H]

I know Brian.

[B]

Paul's like one of the main guys.

[H]

Yeah, not ringing a bell.

[A]

Okay, okay. All right. Well, anyway, I would. I would actually listen to a Paul RFK Jr. Anti Vax cover of all the Beatles songs. That'd be sick.

[H]

I read the news today.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[H]

A kid got poked in the arm today.

[A]

Oh, no. He develops full blown autism.

[D]

Here comes the tism.

[A]

The tism's on the wall.

[H]

Here comes the poke.

[A]

Ah, we could go. We could go for hours.

[H]

Yes, we could. We're having a grand old time.

[A]

We sure are, sir.

[N]

To get the. The MMR vaccine.

[C]

Yeah, I said that already. Okay, so I know you're flustered now, and it is

[A]

flustered. You're flustered. No, you're. You're flustered. Bitch ass secretary of these nuts hhs.

[H]

Wow. Good one.

[A]

Honestly, though. Honestly. You're flustered, sir.

[H]

Why don't you CDC these nuts, bitch.

[A]

Cdc. That is good. That is. That's good. That's good. I hand it to you, sir. I hand it to you.

[H]

Thank you.

[C]

Okay, so I know you're flustered now, and it is.

[N]

I'm not flustered at all. I am frustrated. The reason I'm frustrated is because I. You are the hhs. You are the HHS secretary and you are talking about things that lead to vaccine hesitancy in this country. And, and it is something that causes problems for people. I mean, when there is not anything.

[C]

Let me ask you something. Do you see your job?

[A]

I have to say I appreciate what she's trying to do. I don't think she's doing it extremely well. Because he's able to wiggle his way out with all these bogus claims about like, you have to really preempt every stupid fucking thing he's going to say. He's like, actually, the academy of science says that nobody's ever tested vaccines. Vaccines on children, ever. You have to be ready for that. Otherwise he just gets to squeak. Continue to it. You know what I mean?

[K]

I mean, I appreciate her doing Pushing back at all.

[H]

Hey, I thought you were cool.

[A]

I, I, I appreciate what she's doing, but I would have done better, basically, is what I mean. Right, of course you have. Why do you say that? I'm a good interviewer. I'm a good combative interviewer.

[B]

Why don't you have a show on cnn?

[A]

Yeah, maybe I need to look, maybe I need a new producer. Maybe my producer's holding me back.

[E]

Maybe.

[K]

Let's get out of here.

[A]

Wait, can we invite rfk? I wonder if he would actually come on our show. That'd be sick.

[B]

Don't think he would.

[A]

Why is that exactly dead?

[K]

Because of that.

[A]

Right?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I would be like, well, hello, sir. Welcome to my show.

[B]

Two or three years making fun of his voice.

[A]

What is he a.

[B]

Calling him a psychopath all the time.

[D]

I feel like we have tried.

[A]

Oh, oh, they made fun of my voice. Ah. I'm never going on. What are you a pussy? Are you a baby?

[H]

I do. I'm into that fetish. Yes.

[A]

So what's. Come on, goo goo Gaga. Okay. All right, all right. That's weird.

[C]

As ending vaccine hesitancy or do you see your job as telling the truth to the American people?

[N]

I see my job as telling the truth. And the truth is that there is is study after study after study. It's one of the most studied things out there in science.

[C]

You repeat like a parrot. You're repeating like a parrot.

[A]

That's the thing.

[B]

Literally repeats himself.

[A]

You just said the same thing twice.

[H]

Sir, you repeat like a parrot.

[B]

He's still doing it.

[H]

Yeah, you repeat like a parrot.

[B]

All right, that's enough.

[A]

Sir. That's four times now.

[H]

I'm sorry. I glitched out.

[A]

Don't you see the irony? She, she, she's doing her best, right?

[B]

But she did just kind of do what you were suggesting.

[A]

It's not good enough. I could have done better. Okay, that's the point. That's the point.

[B]

Let's get you on CNN.

[A]

I'm being held back by these shackles, these YouTube shackles. I didn't need to be prime time.

[C]

She read the science. Let's. You don't want to. You don't want to hear and debate this.

[N]

So you. I'm not debating this view.

[C]

Of course you.

[A]

No, you know what?

[D]

I wonder if Piers Morgan could set that up for you. That might be the way to do it.

[A]

Me versus rfk. I mean, they. They might try, actually.

[D]

He'd go for the juice. He's all about it.

[H]

I'd go for the Jews.

[A]

Who's in touch with them? Is it.

[D]

I believe that was you directly.

[A]

That's so funny, bro. I'll ask. I think it's an. It's like a fucking. Absolutely, astronomically.

[D]

Dude. He'll light up. His face will light up.

[A]

It's probably a little off topic for they're always talking about, like, geopolitics and stuff.

[K]

That's what I thought. No balls.

[A]

I'm gonna ask, bro. You have no balls. Literally. Checkmate. Where's your balls, girl?

[H]

Hey, don't you poke fun at my friend.

[A]

Checkmate, bro. Literally speechless, bro.

[C]

Repeat things that people told you and say, trust the experts. That's what you did during COVID Now we know that Anthony Fauci, who was the expert, was lying about everything. About mass, about social distancing, about natural immunity, about the transmission from the vaccine, about the source of the COVID He was lying, and you were punishing people for not trusting the experts. And now you're rolling out the experts again to talk about something that you have no personal knowledge of.

[N]

Okay, well, guess what? That is my job. To talk to people.

[C]

Your job is to talk to the American public.

[N]

Yes, and my job is to get as much information as I can.

[A]

And what we were doing. What we were doing.

[C]

Skeptical.

[N]

What we were doing in Covid, and still with regard to these vaccines is getting the best information, the best science that we can, and putting it out there. And, sir, what you are doing is causing information to be out there that is accurate.

[C]

Who is lying to you?

[N]

The National Academy of Sciences, which you just cited in November.

[A]

Oh, the fact check's coming in.

[N]

Said, we support the statement that vaccines do not cause autism.

[A]

Your response?

[N]

The National Academy of Sciences that you just talked about.

[C]

Look at the Academy of Science most recent report.

[A]

That was not the most recent report. Then she just say when she says

[N]

vaccines do not cause November. The National Academy of Sciences, which you just cited in November.

[A]

November. There's been much more recent studies than that.

[N]

Said we support the statement that vaccines do not cause autism. This is the National Academy of Sciences that you just talked about.

[C]

Look at the National Academy of Science most recent report.

[N]

Okay.

[C]

And you'll see.

[N]

I Want to ask you one other question.

[A]

Oh, he kind of conceded that. Look at their most recent report. Yes, let's move on.

[E]

She.

[A]

She kind of should have held his feet to the fire on that one.

[N]

Something that really did help Donald Trump get elected, and that is the Maha movement and specifically the question of processed foods.

[C]

Of what?

[N]

And the fact that people want to feel that their food is safe. My understanding is that you are pushing for reforms on food safety and ultra processed foods that have been slowed, in some cases blocked by people in the administration who are working on behalf of the industry. Is that true?

[C]

No, that is not true.

[A]

Checkmate

[H]

me.

[N]

So you feel that you'll be able to get these reforms done without any problems?

[C]

I think the grass. The two big reforms that you're probably talking about is ultra processed food definition.

[N]

Exactly.

[C]

And the grass standards. And they've both gone through extensive interagency process. I'm very confident that we will get them both out there within probably a month.

[N]

Well, I'm sorry that this. That's good news for people who are very moms, and I'm one of them who are very worried about making sure that our kids eat food and we eat food that is. That is healthy.

[A]

Oh, don't. Don't try to play nice with me now, Carol, if that is your name, help me. Zach. I am not good at this like you.

[B]

What do you.

[H]

You are doing a fantastic job.

[A]

Thank you.

[H]

I may say I'm sorry that this.

[A]

I'll leave it to you. I can't help it. His voice is so silly, really. All right, I'm gonna close this. All right. Thank you. RFK you fantastic. You're doing such a good job.

[H]

Have a wonderful evening, everybody. I will talk to you soon. Bye bye.

[A]

All right. Bye bye for now. That's RFK Jr everybody. The H, H, R, R R head of the hhrr.

[H]

Close enough, yeah.

[A]

All right, let's talk about our main topic today, which is this Paris Hilton. Perez Hilton. Tick tock. That went live yesterday. I'll say up front, we're not showing the video, obviously. It's extremely graphic. Extremely graphic and disturbing. I'm gonna do a donation to the national alliance on Mental Illness. Is that the one we picked, Dan? And if you guys want to donate, we'll put it in the description, but I'm going to make a donation there so we can help people that need it. I don't know. And by the way, the number on screen, if you need help, if you feel like, you know, doing something regrettable to yourself, please Call this number and get help there. Yeah, I don't want to say that. Thank you. So I guess talking about, first of all about who Paris Hilton is,

[G]

it's

[A]

so much Perez Hilton. Now, I.

[B]

That's gonna be really hard for you. I know.

[A]

Perez.

[B]

Yeah. Like, you struggle with people's names as it is. And it sounds. And it's obviously super close.

[A]

Well, so apparent. I was reading up on him yesterday. He has. I think he's like, bet close or not, I don't know. But he's friends with her, so he wants his name to sound like hers. Perez. You got it.

[E]

Sick.

[A]

So I've heard this name floating around the Internet for so long. Like, you know, I know he's been around forever, but I have, like. I have no idea. Never seen his content. Really. I know he does, like, gossip and stuff.

[D]

He's like the OG gossip blogger. Like the very first, like, really big one, I think. Yeah.

[A]

And so did he. Is he still, like, relevant? What's the.

[D]

He sort of had a little bit of a resurgence on, like, Tick Tock. He kind of switched to, like, talking, like, about t stuff based on what I've seen recently. But yeah,

[A]

he has a very interesting history. Just, I was reading about him on Wikipedia, just beefing with different celebrities and trail blazing this whole, like, celebrity gossip online. Apparently his website used to be, like, mega. He said once that his website got like 8 million hits in a day, which is. I don't. It's not, like, verified, but, I mean, I know it was very popular, so I don't know what he's been up to recently, but I recognize his face and I know his name, but I was on the subreddit and then all of a sudden there was like, a post with a fair amount of activity that was. It was like a new post and it was. Did you see what Perez. Perez Hilton just did on Tick Tock Live? And he was stripped down naked for over 40 minutes and he was cutting himself with a knife. Sorry, I'm. It's not funny. It's just like. It's shocking. That's why I'm kind of like. And I. I ended up. It's just kind of insane. It was up for 40 minutes and, like, first I saw a picture of it and he's. It looks like he's out of Hellraiser. He's just covered in red. He's just covered in blood and just tons of cuts all over his face and his body. It was. I've never seen, like, it before.

[M]

Wow. I'm Genuinely, there's something like that get live streamed.

[A]

Well, it's Tick Tock. So he just went live and they don't take it.

[K]

Yeah, but for 40 minutes.

[A]

40, 40 minutes, though, like, you know, you know what's crazy about Tick Tock? If I talk about James Charlotte, that gets removed in like within like five minutes. But how can it be that after 40 minutes and if you just saw how graphic and disturbing and you know, for his sake, I mean, for his sake just as much as anyone else's sake. Get that thing turned off.

[M]

So it was just showing up to people on feed.

[A]

I think it probably got quite a lot of viewers because people were flooding into our subreddit, which has nothing to do with him, and asking if they had seen it. And so I was trying to learn more about it and the first thing I saw was a picture of his face and it was just covered in blood. I was like, no way. Like, that can't be. It literally looks like a scene out of Hellraiser. And then I saw someone sent me the video and it's only like a minute long video of the 40 minutes, but I really. I don't know what this guy's going through, but I've never seen anything like this. He was laying on his bed and he was like kissing at the camera. He was doing. He was doing like some kind of sexy, flirty voice while he was cutting himself. Like, like the type of thing you see depicted in like a Hollywood movie of just like almost doesn't even seem like some realistic, like snow. Like, it's just. And so he gets up. He even at one point took. Was taking calls. He was connecting with people on Tick Tock and they're like, don't do this, man. It's not worth it. He just hung up on them.

[N]

Wow.

[A]

He was using. I think he was using a. A bread knife, you know.

[M]

Oh, the ones with.

[A]

Yeah, the ridges. Yeah, yeah.

[K]

Serrated.

[A]

Yeah. And I didn't again, I. I haven't seen the whole 40 minute thing, nor would I want to. And I don't recommend anybody look for it, but I've never seen anything like that in my. In my whole time on, on the Internet. Does he. Is he someone that's been known to have like, mental health issues before this?

[G]

I think in the doc it's written the previous, like, I guess the build up to how he got to this point.

[A]

Let me read this. Some call him the original Snarker. Okay, that's interesting because I've seen he's had a lot of beefs with celebrities. Like people. Celebrities seem like some of them really hate him.

[D]

Yeah. He's one of the people that is called out for Britney Spears. Like the treatment of Britney Spears. He was really hard on Britney. Yeah.

[A]

Another thing I see that's criticism is he I guess has a reputation for outing gay people which. He's a gay guy. So I mean pretty bizarre thing to do. But I think he's just all about getting the tea, you know. Hilton claimed that in 2007 his website Perez Hilton.com had over 8.8 million page views in an hour or in a day. He had a very specific style which involved drawing on the celebrity pictures and Ms. Paint. Usually dicks coke under their nose or jizz near their mouth. The. I have not seen that. Oh, okay. So. So it seems like pretty mean spirited stuff. That would explain why ab Paula Abdul. This is a shocker. And he's drawing like cocaine marks. But Abdul. Would Paula Abdul lie about being a pill popping drunked out hoebag? Jesus, no. No, never. We refuse to believe it. However, if you think the bitch is a fucked up mess, then read more about her allegedly lying ways after the pump. So that's. Yeah. Or after the jump. Yeah, I mean that's. That's pretty snarky. It's actually good to get this conference from.

[M]

How long ago are these stuff?

[A]

Well his seems like his prime was in 2007.

[M]

Yeah, back then everything was like.

[A]

So the Internet was crazy, bro.

[M]

Wild west.

[A]

There was like. We watched a documentary about that website where. The revenge porn website where people were just uploading without any censorship or any. It wasn't illegal. A website hosting revenge porn. I forget what it was called but they all went to jail now and it got taken offline. But yeah, that, that's, that's. That's the setting for all this. Yes, cub. This one's about Kevin here, I'll zoom in. So you can't see that he calls him the F slur in the title. Kevin Federline. Yes. Club goers let Kevin Federline know what they thought about his music as they flipped him the bird at his listening party at Pure and Caesar's Palace. It looks like she's doing this. Or she. Okay, maybe she's. I don't know. Yeah, she's flipping it off. I guess. That looks like Bryce Hall. I don't know who that is. Nice manicure. Okay, whatever. So just to give you an idea. Flawed. Flawless. Okay, so he loves. Okay, we're sorry Ms. Jackson, but you are not quite there. Yet it's a shame you were doing so well. Janet. Look frightful at a Cartier event on Thursday night. We can see your back fat in that dress. Jesus. And your makeup is not very flattering at all. Your face looks sickly. Salma, on the other hand, is peppered. Our Mexican mommy always looks flawless. Here he drew Val Kilmer with cum coming out of his mouth. Nice. Hungry. Hungry. An alien abducted Val Kilmer and placed him with this fat, ugly geezer that showed up to the 15th anniversary celebration of the Doors biopic alongside his co star. Yeah, you get the idea. He was a real nasty. Real nasty. Yeah, basically. What you know this guy, it sounds like, yeah, he invented snarking, so paved the way. It says a lot of female celebrities have been negatively impacted by his coverage. He's also been sued by people. Colin Farrell, for example, for posting his sex tape on his site. That's fucked up. By Universal Studios for posting a topless pic of Jennifer Aniston. Jesus also has a penchant for outing celebrities. Lance bass from NSync, Neil Patrick Harris and more. In March, five months ago, Perez posted bizarre content from a hospital bed in Las Vegas where he was living at the time. So potentially the lead up to what we saw. So he's like super, like gaunt looking, says March Madness. Indeed. Have I got a story to tell. Clearly been through something there. Oh, wow.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

He says he got his gall bladder removed.

[E]

Something.

[A]

Yeah, I mean it has 23,000 likes, so I mean, that's not nothing, right? What happens? According to him, my stupidity landed me in the hospital for 21 days here. It's got a little bit of an explanation here.

[I]

My stupidity landed me in the hospital for 21 days and this is the most important video that I've ever shared. My stupidity.

[A]

So anyway, it's a long video, but to summarize, says he developed an ulcer in a week. Is that possible? I have no idea. He was taking ibuprofen or aspirin, which can cause stomach ulcers or bleeding. It's used frequently antiviral prescription flu drugs. I've. I mean, listen, taking overtaking ibuprofen is definitely a real thing and can definitely, absolutely mess up your body. Long term mental effects of sepsis, persistent cognitive impairment, memory loss and mental health struggles. Up to 50% of survivors face these lasting neurological and psychological effects after leaving the hospital. So he had sepsis from an ulcer. Oh, wow. So he had a. So his stomach developed an ulcer, I guess, from overtaking ibuprofen, which can Develop in a week. I just looked into if you like, if you, you have to take a lot. But I guess some people don't know that it's so bad for, for you because it's over the counter. That's one of the really kind of up things about ibuprofen. I've heard doctors say that if it was reissued today, ibuprofen would be prescription only because it is, it is very dangerous. Yeah. Yes. You can develop a stomach ulcer within a week. While most ulcers take time to form, heavy use of ibuprofen or aspirin can strip your stomach's protective lining and cause an open sore. Develop within a matter of days. So we got sepsis. That, that's not good here, he says. And here.

[I]

One of the most special things about this experience is that God presented himself to me. It was not a feeling. God presented himself to me and I grew up Catholic. I was baptized, had my communion confirmed, went to Jesuit school for seven years. But I was never a believer until now. God presented himself to me and then did something. Something that I could only call miraculous. And I was very lucid. It was real. And this has been life changing. I'm so grateful. I'm excited to start taking the kids to church every week and to just know that God is real. I had my heart open before. I wanted to believe. And I don't have to hope to believe. I know now. So that's amazing.

[A]

So this is from six months ago now.

[C]

He.

[A]

So he. This is the first time he's. He's displayed like some kind of like mental health. I mean this, this. Listen, the whole God thing can happen to anyone, but it's a little delusional to say you saw God. Not a super normal thing to say, I would think, but otherwise, other than that, he's been like a model of like mental health up until then.

[D]

I've seen that he has a documented history of mental health challenges.

[A]

So here's three months ago he posts, he posts something on to X. I feel like I should be scared right now, but I'm not. I'm definitely am worried though. God, show me the way. Paris Hilton is going through it right now. He asked for prayers for Christ to intervene sooner than later. Working on patience. The devil is trying to bring me down. This is just a copyrighted music. So old me would be floundering right now, flailing. I know God now and I love him. Knowing God and having faith are two different things. Though I may not understand everything now, but leaning into my Faith and asking for prayers. I feel like I should be. Yeah. So again, he's obviously going through something. This is three months ago. God told me to move to Miami. Wow, nice weather. God's like, the weather is great in Miami. You should go there.

[I]

This is heaven sent. God told me to move to Miami. I was in the car with my mother and all of a sudden the Holy Spirit made these words come out of my mouth, let's move to Miami. And my mom was in shock because she loves Miami. But for the longest time, for 30 plus years, I did not love Miami, even though I was born and raised there. I lived there until I was 18 and then I got out of there as quickly as I could because I had so much trauma associated with my time in Miami, amongst other reasons. And I'll get into that. But I've just told you, this video is joyous and wonderful, but it's also going to touch upon some not nice things, to put it mildly.

[A]

So here, as part of this video, he says he had trauma of a near death experience. Yeah. Again, this is three months ago.

[J]

Just.

[I]

You never think that's gonna happen. And it just was so hard, not only for me, but for my mom, for the kids, for my sister who lives in Los Angeles. But. But everybody else is in Miami and here in Vegas, which I love. I love the city, I love the people. We're so alone. But in Miami, my mother, her father had 11 brothers and sisters.

[A]

Sorry, is this the wrong timestamp? Because I feel like I just missed it. Trauma of near death experience. I feel like it started right after it just

[I]

nearly dying. That's all been released. And I am genuinely thrilled for this homecoming and final destination. I know that this move will be great for my family. Nearly dying this year twice. And the experience here, just. You never think that's going to happen. And it just was so hard, not

[A]

only for me, but for my mom,

[I]

for the kids, for my sister who lives in Los Angeles. But everybody else is in.

[A]

So the guy's dealing with. He said he had a near death experience twice. Twice. Do we have any insight into what that is? Or just. He vaguely alludes to it here, but in my cousins. Oh, he's talking about the sepsis. Yeah. So three months earlier when he was in the hospital. Hospital sounds like you've got it. He got real sick from that, but he seems fine. Well, other than the God thing being like kind of delusionally religious. And that's really hard to tell. It's hard to tell when you're like, is this guy going through something I should be concerned about, or is he just, like, super into Jesus?

[M]

I mean, a lot of times when people hit a really low low or something really difficult, they turn to religion. But, yeah, well, that's.

[A]

That's one thing. That's one thing to be like, oh, yeah, I'm finding a lot of comfort in going to the church or being like, I saw God.

[M]

Yeah, I spoke to God.

[C]

But it's.

[A]

It's hard because you'll be like, dude, I. I think you're going through something. He's like, dude, it's like, how do you argue against the. The religious thing? What is this? Perez Hilton dispatch audio reveals emergency services spent four hours responding to his ordeal. His attempt at, you know, the thing that I don't want to say. The blog was hospitalized after he appeared to himself during an alarming live stream. Police told people Paris Hilton sparked concern online. He's 48. He was hospitalized. He's okay. I mean, he's. Yeah, he's. He's in stable condition, let's say. Dispatch audio from the call made about Hill Hilton revealed new details. Yeah, I'm sure the police got like, a thousand phone calls because people were. The police got there before Tick Tock turned it off. Isn't that crazy?

[M]

I can't believe it.

[A]

People called the police. They mobilized.

[M]

Like, this is. This is the situation that you should be ready for.

[A]

I heard about it before Tick Tock for my subreddit, dude.

[M]

It is.

[K]

That's. It's so weird because that one time when I accidentally said I supported genocide or. No, that was love. What did I say? Oh, the. The immigrant euthanasia.

[A]

You got busted for that?

[K]

Yeah, they immediately, like, put, like, yes. Like, they were so, like, I. So I don't understand how he. That was live for so long.

[A]

Well, that was Instagram, right?

[K]

No, that was Tick Tock.

[A]

Oh, was.

[K]

I support the immigrant youth in Asia.

[G]

I mean, Tick Tock would drop your live. You mentioned another streaming platform. Like, you mentioned Twitch or YouTube. They'll take down your live as well.

[A]

Legit. Legit. When I was popping on TikTok, if I said anything about James Charles, it would immediately start popping off. It would get removed like, like literally within minutes. So.

[K]

And I'm sure people were reporting it like crazy. So I. I just don't understand.

[A]

Yes, there's no.

[M]

I think there is a chance that they actively made the decision to leave it up.

[A]

That's too hard to believe, man.

[G]

There's a report here.

[A]

I feel like that's way too hard to believe. That would be so crazy if that ended up being true. Or if there's just one of these people who's like in India that just gets like mass, just mass overviews Reported Content they're like this is shell next. Let's see here. Around 10:41 the audio described a On a live attempt at the address, police and fire went to an active police scene. They made entry into his home around 11:30. Responding units were en route to a local hospital. The Miami Dade Sheriff Office previously took the police four hours to get to his house. The first call was at 6:40 so everybody kind of taking their time there, eh? It may in many incidents involving a person experiencing a mental health crisis or actively harming themselves, deputies prioritize de escalation by creating time, distance and opportunities for communication, the Sheriff office added, noting that using crisis intervention techniques can help lower the risk of violence as well as any other injuries. At the time of the statement, police had said they had disengaged with the individual but would monitor the situation and stay in contact with his family. Wait, they left him? Is that what that means? And a follow up deputies confirmed that the person was safely recovered and brought to a nearby hospital. The Miami Dade Sheriff Office Crisis Response Unit and licensed mental health professionals were responded to the scene to provide support to the individual's family. In a statement shared on Instagram late on Tuesday, representatives for Hilton shared that they had not made direct contact with him despite their ongoing efforts. Our primary concern is his health and well being, they said. Reps have not commented further. Attorney Brian Friedman, a friend who previously represented him for 20 years, told people in a statement. I like many others feel very concerned for Mario's health. I'm trying to confirm, feel like a moment deserves kindness and compassion. Let's see here. The incident came four months after he underwent emergency surgery, which we learned about. Thank God that I can finally walk again slowly, he added in the video. And though the pain is still very pronounced, I can tolerate it and do this all without meds. Amen. Every day will get easier and I'll get stronger and so it shall be. Tick tock Put out a statement. Let me see. Yeah, I would like to see them explain. Apparently the police were having trouble figure out where he lived. Here is a statement from Tik Tok gossip blogger was covered in what appeared to be blood and wielding a knifelike object. It was. It was a bread knife for sure. Let's see here. Tick Tock spokesman Jamie Favaza told Wired via email that after it started. So the moderation system flagged the live stream minutes after it started, but a moderator error caused a delay in its removal. Dude, there was straight up. Someone just. I. Someone approved it. Someone approved it.

[C]

There.

[A]

It caused a delay in its removal as well as the account. Subsequent band also shared that Tick Tock contacted law enforcement shortly after the live stream was flagged. So that, that's what all they said. I guess there was an error. I mean that means someone, someone approved it, right? That has to be.

[K]

That's what it sounds like to me.

[A]

I, I don't know if it was like something intentional or if it was.

[K]

They have. They said that TikTok called the police

[A]

after they took it down, which means it was escalated to somebody who actually.

[K]

Like I thought you said after it was reported.

[A]

Here, let me read it again. They said they shared the TikTok with law enforcement after the live stream was flat shortly after livestream.

[K]

So that's weird.

[A]

Yeah, that doesn't make sense.

[K]

So you kept it up but managed to call. You knew to call the authorities?

[A]

Like that can't be what it means. That's too crazy, Right? Some speculate that the platform left the stream up for 30 minutes or more before it banned the account. Faz Fabaza denied this to Wired, saying the stream was up for half that time and that Perez subsequently streams were cut within 90 seconds. A minute and a half is still a long time to go live after that. So they didn't ban the account immediately. And then he had the chance to re go live several times and was live for 90 seconds. That's crazy.

[K]

Yeah, but Tick Tock's actually really cool because they called the police.

[A]

We'd let the police know. My aunt experienced religious psychosis after a gastric bypass led to near fatal sepsis. She ended up taking her life. I believe there's been studies on a link between the two. Geez Louise. Gastric bypass. My gosh, that's scary.

[M]

Yeah.

[K]

What a happy episode.

[A]

Well, sorry,

[H]

It's.

[A]

Yeah, of course it's the sepsis.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Not the bypass. I've never even heard of that being a thing. I'm learning about some new terrifying illness every day. So that's exciting as you get older. June 28th. I fell off the wagon in every sense. Oh no, he's back on drugs. So that's not going to help either.

[E]

Let's see.

[A]

Can I say I, I, I feel, I feel like I have to say this. Not a great endorsement for religion.

[D]

I mean, since religion began, that's there's always been that, right. People, people use it to be good

[A]

and it's not foolproof. So it's not foolproof room. Yeah, but he had a lot of confidence in it. I fell off the wagon. So this is from June 28th.

[I]

Fairly recent wagon in every sense. But I'm back. Hello, my fram. It is Perez, the queen of all media, the original influencer believer. And I went to the gym this morning for the first time in weeks. I also went to church today for the first time in weeks. And I also read my Bible today for the first time in weeks. I was in a bit of a spiral because I was overwhelmed with our move to Miami and I didn't do these things that I know are good for me. And there is a direct correlation between the effort, effort you put in at the gym and the effort that you put in with your faith. Reading the Bible, going to church, that's work.

[A]

Didn't God tell him to move to Miami? I'm just saying I think Hud did not. God did him dirty in this whole exchange, I think just seems like it.

[I]

And the harder you work at things, the more results and rewards you get. I felt really good leaving the gym this morning and I felt even better leaving church, a new church. And it was nearly a two hour service and I was a little bit anxious, but more soothed and inspired and centered than anything.

[A]

So that's. And then just yesterday he posted like normal about Ariana Grande. He's also been going live on TikTok a lot. He's been crying a lot, apparently talking about God saving him. So that's also been.

[I]

A lot of people care and are concerned about Ariana Grande.

[A]

So this is from yesterday or the day before, let's see, 19 hours ago. This was after. It was very. Within the last couple of days.

[I]

I consider myself one of them. And she is addressing all of the chatter about her health directly. Hello, my friend. It is Perez, the queen of all media, the original influencer. And Ari was in Chicago tonight where she spoke out about the statement that her team released yesterday. The statement which announced that after her tour is over, she's going to be taking a break, which means that she won't be starring in the musical Sunday in the Park.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, listen, he seems lucid. He doesn't seem like someone's on the verge of doing like one of the most shocking things I have ever seen my entire time on the Internet. And I urge you guys once again to not look for that video because it is something that I'VE never seen before. I mean, the good news is that he's physically fine.

[M]

Mm.

[A]

That's from the morning of. This video is from the same day.

[M]

That's crazy.

[A]

I wonder.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

But to me it was like. It wasn't just the self harm thing. It was like the. He was like kissing and flirting with the camera and all this. It was just. It was like such a. Just felt like a movie scene. Like, just didn't seem like a real thing. But it was, it was real. Let's see here. This isn't the first time something like this has happened on Tick Tock. December of last year, a Tick Tocker Reezy, AKA Sincerely Nyjah, died by unaliving themselves live after being bullied for weeks by other Tick Tockers. Again, this happened with other people in the live boxes with her. Just like Perez. Oh, wow. I don't know that you can. I don't know. Like if you can prevent these types of things from happening when you're doing the lives, you know, if somebody's just suddenly gonna do something like that, there's not much you can do. It's kind of the risks you take with, with the live. But 40 minutes, that's unacceptable, you know.

[K]

No, there's definitely something they could do about it. Again, I've seen them act so fast.

[A]

Well, if somebody, if somebody's just sitting there and then takes their life suddenly, I mean, you know.

[K]

Well, what?

[A]

Not mind readers.

[K]

I mean, I guess they're super quick out of nowhere.

[A]

Like. Yeah, it doesn't take long if they have a gun or something.

[K]

Yeah.

[G]

But

[A]

I'm saying, I. Listen, stuff is going to happen on lives. You can't, you can't prevent. It's the nature of the, of the format.

[E]

So.

[A]

So like.

[D]

Yeah, I was gonna say there's just too many people live at the same time. Like they don't have the amount. Like they have to rely somewhat on computers. I feel like, like they have to whatever the AI.

[A]

I wish they were depending on AI because that man was covered in blood.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like, I feel like an AI would have immediately been like, yo, this is not a normal situation. Faster than a human would.

[G]

I mean, I'm pretty sure they do use AI.

[D]

I feel like blood's a little harder to detect.

[A]

It knows.

[K]

What about the knife?

[D]

The knife?

[A]

I. I think, yeah, well, the knife was. From what I saw, the knife wasn't. He was laying in bed and again, this is just a minute and a half of a 40 minutes and he's like doing a Tick tock duet with these people and they're like, don't do it man. It's not worth it. Take care of yourself. And he's like kissing at the camera and then he gets up and goes back into the kitchen and brief. You don't see the. The bread knife for very long. And he starts like running it over his skin. It seemed from what I saw that he was. It seemed to me that he was clearly doing like. He wasn't stabbing himself, it was more just cutting. He was like running it along his skin and so it caused. He was butt naked too. His dick was out. The AI I know can see a dick. I know the AI can see a dick. Yeah, he could see his penis on stream.

[K]

Sounds like the issue though was that it went to a real person and a real person was like, they're like sick.

[M]

Yeah, I think that's what happened.

[A]

No, that. That's definitely what happened. It sounds like that. Yeah, it got reported and picked up pretty fast. And then. I'd love to know what happened there. Yeah, no, I.

[D]

Maybe I wasn't clear when this situation definitely I feel like they could have gotten it because they're just the number of ports reports alone.

[A]

They did get it. Yeah, they did get it.

[D]

But after 15 to 30 minutes.

[A]

Yeah, it's just, it's just ironic because like for them, for this like absolutely horrific situation, it's like, eh, let's. We'll give him the benefit of the doubt and we'll check on it later. But it's like James Charles is being talked. Take it down, we'll follow up later. Just seems like weird priorities. I fucking hate TikTok. You guys know that.

[M]

I do too.

[D]

This is super random, but when I first started, I don't know if you remember I was telling you how me and Lena figured out this stupid thing with the algorithm when they would change who, like what were the sponsors Each day we knew when it was and if you just had the product in the video for the first like 10 hours you would be on the homepage and it was me and Lena, some other account and Perez Hilton. Every day there was like us. Our three videos was there.

[M]

Yeah.

[D]

It was so random.

[A]

Very interesting. You're at the top of your game. Sounds like.

[D]

No, I didn't. It didn't do shit. It didn't do anything. But I just, I found it funny that he was doing that too. Like he was going through that effort every night.

[A]

Yeah. I can't imagine being a kid and coming to. That is up. That is up.

[G]

Especially because Tick Tock feeds you random lives while you're scrolling.

[A]

Yeah, you don't even choose it. You don't pops up on your fit, on your thing, especially if it's, if

[G]

it's getting a lot of traction. That's when they start sharing it more too.

[A]

Well, to kind of even illustrate that point after it happened. So they were already on high alert. I went to Tick Tock and typed Paris Hilton and I. The first thing I saw was his face covered in blood on Tick Tock in the search result for his name, Even at one point during it, Perez says, I can't believe Tick Tock is keeping this up. He probably expected it to get taken down right away. And it's just like he was going and going and going. Even he was shocked. His team put out a statement to Du Moi. Du Moi. Many of you have reached out with concern for Perez. We are incredibly grateful for the overwhelming outpouring of love, support and prayer. We can confirm that Perez is receiving medical care and our family's focus right now is on his well being. Kindly ask that you respect his privacy as well as the privacy of his family during this difficult time. I will say just that. Although I agree, I totally agree with the sentiment, the irony of asking for that is pretty glaring. Yeah, I mean, this guy spent his whole life breaching, exploiting, and just shitting on people as mercifully as possible. Right? But now it's like, please respect our privacy that I bet you the celebrities who he spent his time trashing are just like, now you get it. If and when we are able to share any updates, we will do so with everyone as soon as we can. Thank you for your compassion, understanding, continued support. So there it is. And the top comment, of course is respect his privacy.

[M]

I mean, yeah, what a bizarre story.

[A]

I don't know, everybody's talking about how it's crazy work to ask to respect his privacy. Yeah, I feel like you kind of lost the privilege there, that one. Even though I agree, But don't expect it. It seems like a lot of people have their. They got a bone to pick. I was gonna say ax to grind, but that seemed insensitive. It's an expression, so, I mean, it's gruesome. It's heavy. I'm gonna, I'm gonna donate again if you guys want to support because it's a heavy topic. It's hard to talk about these topics, but I mean, it is current event and it happened and I, you know, hopefully something good comes of it. Luckily he didn't actually unalive himself. People didn't have to see that. And he will have an opportunity to, you know, get better. But yeah, we'll donate to the national alliance on Mental Health Illness, and I recommend you guys do the same if you want to help out. Yeah, I mean, this is the first time I learned about him, so it was all kind of interesting to see it. And then where we got here, man, talk about crying on the kitchen floor. That's ne. This is next level. Beyond that, I've never seen anything like it. But everyone's all right.

[E]

That's good.

[A]

What ab. I heard you breathe like you wanted to say something.

[D]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[A]

No, I don't.

[D]

I was just. When you said that, I was curious if him and Trisha collabed and they have collabed multiple times.

[A]

Ah, yeah, that makes sense. It seems like there's a crossover there. What did that. What have they done together?

[D]

Just like podcast episodes, few YouTube videos.

[G]

Yeah, I think he was friends with Jeffree star.

[A]

Runs in a great crowd there. Paris Hilton. Trish, it doesn't matter. I'm just genuinely curious about the guy because I don't know anything about him,

[H]

but he used to be a regular on Stern a lot.

[A]

Really?

[J]

Really?

[H]

Yeah, there's a famous of Benji screaming too much to get into. But yeah, he used to do a lot of bits with Howard.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, he was big. He was in a lot of music videos. He was in the one episode of the Sopranos. Yeah, he's been around.

[A]

That's what a way to wrap. Let's just spin it around. Spin this into something positive. Right, Right there. We get to go. We get to, you know, God bless the Perez family and Mr. Perez, everybody. It's just peace and to feel good and to recover and hopefully God helps you. Not like what God did to him. If you do want his help, I don't know, it's up to you. I don't have an opinion on it one way or the other. I do, but, you know, it is what it is. But the point is that I'm trying to make is that when I'm done blessing and giving all my well wishes. The truth of the matter is, Dan, that we get to go home and visit once again the mythical beautiful lands of Norath. Dig, motherfuckers. Let it reverberate to your whole fucking body. Let's go, baby.

[B]

That's a little. That's a little much.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

Harsh.

[A]

They're laughing at you. The skeletons. They don't think you can pull it off? Me on the other hand, I'm casting restoration spells. Damn, that feels good. One more time Zach, and we'll wrap it up. God, it's like a bliss. Well folks, sometimes life gets you down. That music, it's something strikes and gutters. Hey folks, some days you get the tiger and sometimes the tiger gets you. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes you get the skeleton. And sometimes, sometimes, well, the skeleton gets you. That's just the way it is in Norrath. But the good news is you always revive with you get no experience loss and you don't even have to corpse run. And that's like life always get a second chance. Dan, you want to read some supers?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Fantastic. I think

[B]

pronally klopakzin.

[A]

All right, Shout out is polish my game.

[B]

My game is getting published tomorrow on Steam. Can I get any game related sound bite from Zach? Oh, oh, you want an unexpected direction.

[M]

That's a good one.

[B]

All right, well, congratulations mostly. Colin said I was pretty stressed that I was gonna have to cook for lunch. But I saw I have half a sandwich and some au jus left over from yesterday.

[A]

Oh my God, that's fantastic.

[H]

That is fantastic.

[A]

There's just good news after good news.

[B]

Zach, can I get 50? Yaz. But slowed and reverberated, please.

[A]

50?

[B]

Yeah.

[H]

Half from who?

[A]

How much did they give?

[B]

$10.

[H]

What kind of.

[B]

Yeah, don't worry about it. Just play a. Yeah, there it is. No you don't. Please don't do it 50 times. Thank you. Dude. Kid. Hey. Said H3 missed connections. Someone named Jonah sent a super chat about Ashran's call. Please message me. The game is still active on custom servers. Come to La Vistra's fam. Yes. Somebody suggested we try Astron's call yesterday and I shot it down.

[A]

I'm not doing the Dark Age of Camelot. I'm not doing the Astron call. We're all in, people. Come on.

[H]

All right.

[B]

Rainbow Bright said I was up in bed until 3am I couldn't sleep and I thought to myself, well I hope Ethan is having fun playing EverQuest right now.

[A]

I wasn't on at 3am but thank you for the well wish.

[B]

On other nights you would have been right.

[H]

2:30.

[A]

I logged off at 1:30.

[G]

Wow.

[H]

Early.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Alex M just donated $20 and said orange. Word orange.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

I don't know what that's about, but

[A]

I appreciate it's the color of your energy, Dan.

[B]

No, that's amber.

[A]

No, you're not amber. Bro, you think you have amber energy?

[B]

I'm sure I have orange energy.

[A]

So you can seed how. Yes, he admits he's got orange energy.

[B]

Mike, I'm trying to get through these super chats. And keeps interrupting. Could just silence Ethan's mic.

[A]

Hi, thanks for calling. How can I help you?

[J]

Ethan Klein speaking.

[A]

Ethan, you're. Who's speaking?

[J]

Is this Ethan Klein?

[A]

Sure is.

[J]

Hello, this is Lexi with Cedars to NY Medical Center. I was calling as a follow up to your consult from last Friday to get you scheduled for your. This is the Brazilian butt lift.

[A]

What is it? What was it for?

[J]

The Brazilian butt lift.

[A]

Oh, the butt lift. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we talk about this later?

[B]

Getting that done at Cedars Sinai.

[A]

Well, they. I only work with the best. Dan, can we talk about this later? I'm actually on a public phone call here. I prefer people don't know about.

[J]

Absolutely. Please just give us a call back when you're ready for scheduling.

[A]

Thank you so much. I appreciate the following up on that one there. Thank you. Thank you, doctor, nurse, whatever.

[G]

She's. She sounds legit.

[M]

Yeah, I think.

[A]

I think that's what. And she hung up before me.

[M]

Wow.

[A]

So might have called you for. I'm about to be. I'm about to come here. Stacked as hell, boy.

[B]

I think that was real. Now Runiti said. How do I get a guild invite? I'm new and in the frog zone. You can ask slow or not.

[A]

I'll hook you up.

[B]

Or one of the other guild off officers like

[A]

Verge.

[G]

Verge.

[A]

Ver. Verde.

[B]

Verde.

[A]

And I think they. I think I heard that our boy Vagina. Vagina was.

[B]

Oh, Message vagina for an invite.

[A]

Not. You can message me slow or you can message my boy. Who I was ra. I was.

[M]

What about the guy De nuz.

[A]

No, he's not an officer.

[B]

Officer.

[M]

You should make him meet your boy.

[G]

Gobi.

[A]

Was it Goby?

[M]

What about Eli in the game Goobo.

[A]

Goobo.

[B]

Goobo?

[A]

Yeah, he's an officer now. He's legit.

[E]

Okay.

[M]

Did you make Eli an officer?

[A]

Eli?

[B]

Hila.

[M]

H I L A. Oh, I don't

[A]

know anything about them. I can't just. I can't listen when you start just handing out officer ships willy nilly because you're too lazy to do the work. That's when the guild falls apart. That's when Rome falls.

[M]

Okay?

[A]

And we will not be suffering that fate.

[B]

We will not.

[A]

You will not see me fiddling and flute fluting as the city falls.

[B]

Tess. Inora said, ethan, I want more game slash hyper fixation. Talk from everyone. You always say this is unwatchable. When someone else goes on tangents, I demand justice.

[A]

It is.

[B]

By the way, I love the Everquest talk, but I want more geeky combos.

[A]

Well, listen, that's a different show. We don't do that here.

[M]

Do you ever worry about a Trojan horse situation in your guild?

[D]

Hmm?

[A]

I mean, it could have already happened. What, like Trisha stands get in there. They get in there and document.

[B]

Let them in. Why not?

[A]

They have everybody listen. Everybody's welcome.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Monica said, my boyfriend and I are watching this together. After the discussion, he looked at me and said, you're my Dan.

[M]

And on.

[B]

Honestly, it was very sweet and meant a lot because Dan is the goat. Lmao. Love you, Kevin.

[A]

Lord have mercy.

[C]

Dan, what are you doing here?

[A]

If you really love them.

[M]

If he said that to her, that means she's doing everything in that house.

[J]

Wow.

[A]

I was gonna say if you really love them, you would have said that they're your Brian. True.

[H]

So I'm gonna tell Chantal when I get home. You're my Uncle Brian.

[A]

I love you so much.

[H]

I love you, baby. Brian.

[B]

Chetta Guap said. Anybody here familiar with Storeroar? It's a 9 million sub YouTube channel. One of the guys pled guilty to see Sam Possession.

[A]

That's a new thing.

[B]

No one knows how deep it goes. Totally rocking. It's been totally rocking. The UK parkour scene.

[A]

Oh, no, not Parkour.

[B]

The UK parkour scene, specifically.

[M]

I thought that was a whole scene. Awesome community.

[A]

Hey, can we look into that? I wanna. I wanna see what's.

[B]

Sounds like it's a big channel. Store Is store or is the name S T O R R O R.

[A]

Dude, you better be careful because that guy can definitely run from the police.

[B]

Good point.

[A]

Good luck catching him.

[E]

Good point.

[B]

Yaya Papaya said. Hello?

[J]

Hello.

[B]

Can I please get a shout out for my dog Mookie? Pets.

[A]

Mookie.

[B]

He loves watching the show.

[C]

Out.

[H]

Mookie. Pets.

[A]

Dude, shout out.

[H]

Mookie.

[A]

Hi, this is Ethan. Can I take your call

[J]

to reach Tom ward with the H3 sales department?

[A]

Oh, this is Tom. Why are you calling me Tom?

[J]

Well, I would like to do business with the H3 show, but I just have a couple notes for the.

[A]

You're talking about Tom Ward, the one who worked.

[B]

I think they're trying to reach Tom Ward.

[H]

Hey, this is Tom Ward. How are you doing?

[A]

No, she said she works with Tom. War you want Tom? Are you with Tom?

[M]

She's asking.

[J]

Sorry. Is Tom there?

[H]

Yes, I Am. You want to talk about an ad?

[B]

Make it quick because I got, you know, I have kids. I gotta get home.

[H]

I have daughters.

[J]

Yes, but to do business, I need. I have to. I have some notes about the.

[A]

Well, go on, get cut to the chase. And Tom. Tom is here. He's listening.

[J]

He can be a little bit inappropriate sometimes.

[H]

What do you mean by that?

[A]

He's got dogs.

[J]

You know what I mean by that?

[H]

I have daughters.

[A]

You're saying Tom is inappropriate or me? No, the hoop show.

[M]

Oh, the saying Tom is inappropriate.

[B]

You know, Ethan, he's a father.

[L]

You can.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, he's a good guy.

[F]

He's like me.

[B]

He's got kids.

[H]

Yeah, you, you know, you, you, you would go against Ethan like that?

[M]

I've been around trying to sell ads.

[J]

I would like to do business with the show.

[A]

Okay, well, I'll give you my.

[J]

About the ho.

[H]

Send me an email.

[A]

Well, that is the show. I am the show.

[J]

I. All I got was this number. If you could give me an email, I'd email Tom at.

[H]

Tom Ward.

[B]

That's not. I don't think that's right, Tom.

[A]

All right, thank you. I'm glad. I love. I love. I love new partners. They come in all shapes and sizes. Thank you so much for calling. That's.

[B]

That's fantastic.

[A]

Looking for Tom Ward. There our heads of sales.

[B]

Razor bat back to you says I have Star wars trivia for Dan.

[A]

What's your. Well, do they.

[B]

What is the name of the species that were immune to the Force and did not use technology? There is a lot more information I could give, but Dan should be able to figure it out from that. I do know what they're talking about. I might say it wrong, it's been a long time, but I think they're talking about the. The Yuzhan Vong, Yuhan Vong or something. It's in the books, the old books that have been decanonized. It's from the series that's set after Return of the Jedi and the galaxy gets invaded from an extra galactic.

[D]

I'm so sorry. Listening. But if you describe it to me, I'll know the answer.

[B]

It's a Star wars thing. It's in the books. After Return of Jedi, they get invaded by an alien race that's immune to the Force and they have a really weird name like Yujian Vong or something like that.

[A]

Okay.

[J]

Huge.

[M]

I don't know the answer.

[B]

It's the huge Epping cock race. Yeah.

[D]

Love them.

[B]

You fact check that?

[C]

Oh, I don't know.

[D]

The Vong.

[B]

Is it just the Vong?

[E]

No, you're right. With a name.

[B]

Oh yeah, you use on. Use on Vong.

[H]

It's the Gorn.

[B]

It's not the Gorn. It's not the corn. That's from Star Trek.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. So, yeah, that's been a long time. I read those books in probably early middle school, so it's. It's been a minute. But I do remember that better, better sequel than the actual sequel movie. Absolutely.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

So thank you. Thank you. Hopefully I. Hopefully I did you proud there, Kevin. Adoptus. Ethan says I'm so jealous for the Everquest fam. Is there a mobile version? I'm afraid not requested.

[A]

Gotta have a PC for that. Get outta here.

[M]

Apparently you can get it on the Steam deck, but we don't know how.

[A]

It's a big workaround, honestly. You probably could run it on the iPhone like it could, but it's just. It's way too complicated. But the power is there, you know what I mean? But it's just. There's way too much to manage.

[B]

It's true, it's true. But thank you for. Thank you for your interest, Kevin. Hope you're doing well. Bananahtr said my grandma gave my rabbits away. She said I could visit them whenever, but then slowly stopped letting me as they started dwindling. Found out years later that. That she was feeding them to. Oh, that he was feeding them to his pythons. That's crazy.

[A]

Your grandparents.

[B]

Yeah, your grandparents for real. That's crazy work. Well, sorry that happened to you.

[C]

Oh, I don't know.

[B]

Kylie said T5 educated robotics engineer and CTO of a robotics company. The CTO of a robotics company watches the show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That doesn't seem possible.

[H]

Yeah, Uncle Brian.

[B]

Well, they said most of the. Most of the super advanced robots for home use are not autonomous. They're robots with cams being controlled from people in the Philippines.

[A]

They're working on it.

[B]

That's a big difference.

[A]

They're working.

[B]

That's a big difference than what you were talking about. That's interesting actually. T5 educated robotic. What does that mean?

[A]

T5 tier high level.

[C]

Oh, I don't know.

[B]

T5 educated. It's like a top elite University or Level 5 Master's level teaching certification. Okay, so yeah, chill Deez said, putting down my family dog of 17 years tomorrow. I usually hate these chats, but genuinely listen to this is the only thing keeping me from bawling in the office. Well, I'm sorry, de nuts.

[A]

These dogs are just stealing our man. Sorry about that I'm sorry about that.

[B]

Sorry for your lost D. You just 17 years is cherished. That's a great run.

[A]

Years. Yeah.

[M]

Wow.

[A]

What a run. What a run.

[B]

And thank you for your support. Stephen Bradley. Just checking in and sending appreciation to tomorrow. Such a talented dude and a perfect addition to the show.

[K]

That means so much.

[M]

Thank you.

[K]

Thanks, Nate.

[B]

Catacomb Birdie said if you're experiencing thoughts of self harm, please reach out to your loved ones and local mental health support services. People care. You're not alone. That's very nice of you to say all the way from Australia. That one of our Aussie fans. Thank you. Catacomb, birdie and whoa. 101 from CG cartel. Let's get them levels. Love Luda. Family, Family.

[J]

Family.

[B]

Oh, Luda is their EQ now. Let's get them levels, dude. Thank you for the donation. 100 bucks. CG cartel. Hey, fam. This is my first super chat. I'm 33 today. Could I get a happy birthday from Wings? That's from mg.

[A]

Your birthday doesn't matter that much. It's not that most important. I didn't celebrate my birthday for 30 years. I hate to tell you, my hands. My dick's immaculate, son.

[B]

It's immaculate Chimers. We're almost at the end here. Turned 28 on Sunday. Began listening to the pod since the Frenemies area era and I haven't missed an episode since. Can I get Ethan?

[I]

I like it.

[B]

I with that sound bite.

[A]

I like it I with that.

[B]

Oh, you got it.

[A]

I like it I with that. I like it I with that. Okay.

[C]

I like that.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

All right. Amanda said Ethan read my chat a few days ago about my mom needing a biopsy. Turns out she has breast cancer.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

But we caught it early and it's treatable.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

Shout out to the family for being here during these times. Everyone check your Jugga Joe's.

[A]

Shout out. Out to early detection.

[B]

Check out your jug of Joe's. Well, that. I'm sorry that happened, obviously, but I'm very glad it was caught early and something can be done.

[M]

But if I remember, you pushed your mom to get it diagnosed, so good job.

[A]

Yeah, that's right.

[B]

That's right.

[E]

Good job.

[B]

That's on you. And Summer Rain finally. Last one for the day. Said, buy me a PC and I'll play Everquest. Ethan, thoughts?

[A]

No, not happening. Not happening.

[B]

Sorry about that. His charity went to that mental health charity today, which though I would love for you to play Everquest. Definitely a better cause.

[A]

I was gonna Disagree. I was gonna say. Oh, both are good.

[B]

Request is good too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

On the level of a National beautiful

[A]

mental health charity, potentially, if you read the stories. If you read the infamous stories, that'll prove that it's good for your mental health.

[B]

Okay. And Rhea Draconic. Actually, this just came in. And this is important. That said it was not the same caller. It was me. I schedule surgeries. So that was a real call about that. Bbl.

[A]

Hi, this is Ethan Klein speaking. How can I help you? Oh, I. Hi. Hi. Can I help you?

[J]

Hey, Ethan.

[A]

Hi there, bro.

[E]

That's the same person. I'm sorry.

[A]

It is love.

[J]

I am really upset and it's very misogynist. It's that you think all of us women sound the same.

[B]

What's your. What's your name?

[J]

It is.

[B]

What's your name?

[E]

It isn't if it's Ricky.

[J]

I'm a girl who likes horses. I frequent your stream.

[K]

Oh, my God. They were on the calendar.

[A]

Oh, you remember. Love, do you want. Well, love, you're in a unique opportunity to confront this the one caller. So if you have.

[G]

Which is why would you be truth confront this woman.

[K]

It's not. It's. I do know what love is saying. They do all sound alike. I do think love would be able

[J]

to tell you sound alike, but we're not the same person.

[E]

Okay, so half of that's half my truth.

[A]

I think.

[M]

I think.

[A]

Well, half of a truth.

[J]

Beautiful.

[A]

Half a truth is kind of still. That's a lie. And also a half truth is literally. You know, that's the way we call lie. Well, yeah.

[E]

Two girls in all is. Are agreeing with me.

[A]

We have a demo.

[M]

Okay, wait, wait.

[A]

Me and wait and G. Oh, I agree.

[E]

I guess she's not.

[A]

Say something that only you would say and no other.

[E]

See?

[A]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[J]

Something that no other girl would say. Ethan, your watch is beautiful.

[E]

That's true.

[D]

Okay.

[J]

Is that Tiffany or turquoise?

[A]

It's turquoise. Thanks for noticing.

[J]

Oh, it's beautiful. It went really well with the turtle shirt. I'll be real.

[A]

Oh, thank you. All right, let's go, Ethan. Come on. Yeah, she's cool.

[J]

Okay.

[A]

She's cool.

[J]

Sorry, Dan. We love you.

[A]

All right, thanks for the call. Love, y'. All. Yeah, love you. Yes. Love you to the one color.

[E]

I feel like my theory got confirmed just then.

[K]

What?

[B]

Well, we got a name out of her. And next caller, we like you gotta. You gotta put them on the spot quickly. And we need to answer.

[A]

Here's what we're gonna do because this is becoming a problem. Pull their. Pull their voices, put them side by side, and we'll listen to them one after the other and we can really tell what's going on.

[B]

Okay, that's one option. Or another option is that I can just look at the dashboard and see the phone numbers that have been calling. That is an option.

[A]

No, no, they're spoofing their number.

[M]

You can use.

[A]

They're spoofing the number.

[E]

It's so easy to get a phone number nowadays for these kinds of nefarious purposes.

[A]

Who wants to take lead on that? Because I'm being serious.

[E]

Someone in the audience.

[B]

I didn't. I didn't listen to what you.

[A]

I want to put all the callers. Voices one by one so we can

[K]

hear sounds like that's how you're gonna spend your night tonight.

[A]

Yeah, that's not something for me to do.

[D]

Well, this. This is love's theory.

[F]

Right?

[M]

Right.

[A]

Well, no, hold on.

[E]

It would be. It would be completely.

[B]

No, he's. I see where he's going, and that

[E]

would be completely inappropriate for me as the proposed.

[B]

He's the accuser. Yeah, he's on. He's not unbiased. It needs to be a third party.

[E]

And I'm not excusing proposing a theory.

[G]

It needs a woman's touch. So tomorrow needs to.

[A]

No, well, tomorrow. I know. She's.

[K]

I'm. I'm. I'm.

[B]

I don't think it's fair for Tamara to do it because she's. Because I'm a misogynist.

[G]

Yeah, I know she is.

[I]

A massage.

[A]

She knows she wouldn't be good at it. Just make. Okay, I'm sorry.

[M]

Well, let's volunteer the person that can't say no. David.

[A]

Yeah. That is the perfect thing for David. It is. Is David here?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Yes, David.

[B]

No, no, don't. If you bring him over, then he can say no.

[A]

No. The debate is over. He's been assigned. We have him chained in the closet. David, we have homework for you. I'll tell you after the show.

[K]

Come here, buddy.

[A]

No, I'll tell you after the show. You can't say no.

[M]

Anyway, you're gonna love it.

[A]

He can't say no, so there's no point even. Ask him.

[H]

Poor son of a man can't wait.

[B]

He says he can't wait.

[E]

Now I feel all right.

[B]

We have to go wrap it up. Thank you to everybody who donated, by the way.

[A]

Hey, I gotta wrap it up. Yep, yep. So if you want to say something, now's your time.

[E]

Pick up another call.

[A]

So I was talking to a caller.

[E]

I wasn't listening.

[A]

Come on now.

[J]

Do you have your passport,

[M]

girl? Would you like to say.

[A]

Yeah, other words? It's been a while. No, I know, though. I know the words.

[M]

Wow.

[B]

Just let her.

[A]

Do you have your past? Oh, you want her do it.

[J]

Yeah.

[B]

She's got amazing voice.

[A]

My God, girl, go. Here, play us out. Play.

[M]

You deserve better. Quality.

[J]

Thank you so much.

[G]

Keep singing.

[A]

I'm on the spot right now.

[J]

I just want to say I love you guys so much.

[A]

I love you all.

[J]

I love you all. God bless America.

[A]

Get your shots, girl. Would you like to come back with Rob to America? Yes, baby. There you go. America. All right, thanks for calling. Appreciate the kind words there. And summoning the ghost of Mr. 1A. What's his name?

[K]

He's alive.

[B]

R. Kelly.

[A]

Yeah, barely.

[D]

All right.

[A]

After Dark's coming up next, guys.

[J]

Thank you so much.

[A]

Thank you so much. I'm going to hang up now.

[M]

That was beautiful.

[A]

This button's actually so sick, I can just. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Take them, dump them. What do we got on After Dark? Let's take a look. What's on the docket?

[M]

Apparently David needs to make them laugh or else.

[A]

Or he's fired. I guess not. Before he makes this compilation David and Kate and Harley Instagram reels they've been putting off for weeks. If they aren't funny, Dave gets shot with the salt gun.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[E]

Who's Dave?

[H]

David.

[M]

Yeah. Who's Dave?

[A]

The chicken guy. I thought I saw it. I thought I saw. It was written Dave. But it's not there. It just says David.

[G]

So you lied.

[A]

It's not. But anyway, so that sounds fun. So stay tuned, guys and members actually excited that we have a really fun game for you guys tomorrow. It's gonna be a lot of fun. So enjoy After Dark with the greatest trio in the game. It's K. Harley and David. And we'll see you tomorrow for members.

[M]

Good night, guys.

[J]

Sa.