Reckless Ben's Life Is In Danger - H3 Show #288

Summary

H3 Podcast Episode #288: "Reckless Ben's Life Is In Danger" – Wednesday, July 22, 2026

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Overview

In this lively, humor-filled episode of the H3 Podcast, Ethan Klein and the crew dive deep into the escalating, surreal drama between YouTuber Reckless Ben and a group of allegedly villainous Lego store owners in Utah—focusing on corruption, police overreach, and straight-up wild, villainous accusations against Ben. The show also features a hilarious Marching Band Drum Major Salute Challenge among the hosts, a deep-dive into conspiracy content courtesy of Big Nick and his "demon eraser" guest, and plenty of the classic H3 banter about everything from EverQuest Legends to the demonic power of spelling and grammar.

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Key Discussion Points

1. The Reckless Ben Saga: Why Is His Life "In Danger"? [48:00–92:10]

• Background: Reckless Ben, a YouTuber known for pranks and persistent viral investigations, is currently embroiled in a wild legal conflict with Bricks & Minifigs store owners in Utah.
• Main Drama: After Ben was jailed (seemingly for the “crime” of trying to serve court papers to the store), the store owner, Eamon, called the police, making outlandish, false accusations: claiming Ben is violent, dangerous, possibly a sociopath, runs “fraudulent raffles,” and is a physical threat requiring the staff to be armed.
  • “If we let this guy out of jail, he's gonna kill our staff. Like, how can you possibly think of letting this guy out of jail?” – Eamon [56:10]
  • “He's cutesy and determined. And guess what, Eamon, you are the bad guy. Look at the lies you're telling.” – Ethan [54:08]
• Ethan’s Take: The hosts are equally amused and outraged by the rapidly escalating nonsense, noting Ben is harmless and the real villain is the owner Eamon, who seems to be trying to set up a “self-defense” narrative (“He's starting to build this narrative with the cop…” – Hila [56:30]). The police are shown on bodycam collaborating with Eamon to “stack charges” on Ben.
• Corruption and Police: The bodycam footage is jaw-dropping, with store owners and police brainstorming how to keep Ben in jail or “arm up” in anticipation. The panel points out how ridiculous it is to have direct lines to cops, and how police seem overtly biased.
• Ridiculous Accusations: Eamon brings up a Benjamin Schneider convicted of child porn in Ohio and tries to link Reckless Ben to that, simply because they have the same name—a tactic the crew mocks for its paranoia and stupidity.
  • “Their research is: Google ‘Ben Schneider, pedophile, Ohio’.” – Tamara [76:40]
• Audience Reaction: The crew and chat are horrified and fascinated by the “demonic” behavior and the projection involved in the store's narrative.
• Ben’s Response (from his video): “My official response to Eamon is Goo Goo Gaga, because I feel like that's the appropriate way to respond to someone who's acting like a baby.” [84:00]
• Overall Tone: The segment blends comedy, outrage, and social commentary, making it clear the crew sees Ben as the victim and Eamon as the clearly dangerous party.

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2. Marching Band Drum Major Salute Challenge [92:20–168:10]

• Setup: Suggested by a subreddit post and Tamara, the crew dives into the strange and flamboyantly serious world of drum major salutes. Both Dan and Tamara reveal their bonafide high school marching band backgrounds.
• Sample Videos: The group analyzes a series of drum major salutes, laughing at both the mundane and the over-the-top, theatrical performances.
  • “This guy showed up like Zorro. What is this?” – Ethan [96:03]
• Crew Competition: The hosts each take turns dressing up and creating their own salutes, judged by Dan and Hila based on outfit, innovation, and precision. Standout moments include:
  • Zach: “He put a lot of focus on the watch.” [143:17]
  • Tamara: Slick traditional salute with “slayage outfit.” [146:51]
  • Ethan: Extraordinarily over-the-top, including a faux nip-slip and innovative moves, earning a “9.9” from Dan and nearly a perfect “10” from Hila: “I'm really struggling to find any reason not to give it a 10.” [159:15]
  • Dan: Nails the assignment as an exhibition, described as “poetry in motion” and receives several perfect 10s.
• Quoteable Moment:
  • “Sex appeal is something that a lot of these marchers are missing.” – Ethan [163:59]

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3. EverQuest Legends Hype & Username Banter [97:16–106:07]

• Mini Segment: A lengthy, deeply H3 tangent as Ethan and Dan geek out over the relaunch of EverQuest Legends, including username brainstorming, reminiscing about old games, and debating the superior comedy of “Poop Feast” vs “Shit Feaster.”
• Notable Moment: “In EverQuest you need a minimum of four letters. And back in the day, whenever someone had like a four letter name, that was some OG status shit.” – Ethan [99:50]

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4. Big Nick Conspiracy Theory Video (with "Demon Eraser"): The New Wave of Anti-Semitic Paranoia [173:45–221:31]

• Big Nick’s Latest: Ethan and the crew react, in disbelief and mockery, to a new Big Nick video where he and a guest claim spelling, grammar, and Instagram are all tools of Satanic/Jewish witchcraft, rooted in “spelling” as curse-spells, and link everything from the Grammys to grammar school to Satan. New pyramids? Devil. Instagram? Witchcraft. Magic? "Gay." (Seriously.)
  • “This is the dumbest conspiracy theory, brain-melted, paranoid, delusional shit I've ever heard in my life.” – Ethan [183:58]
• Running Jokes:
  • “That makes sense in a lot of ways. That's super cool.” – repeated to lampoon Nick’s mindless agreement [208:43]
  • Demon paranoia reaches its zenith with discussions of the Illuminati, triangles, Harry Potter turning kids gay, and “ghost writing” being demonic possession.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “Cursive is not a language.” – Tom [191:24]
  • “Words mean something. And power. Magic is gay.” – Ethan and Tom [201:52]
  • “You know what Dangerfield said? Take my wife, please. He was trying to get demonic technology.” – Ethan [224:47]

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5. Assorted H3 Banter & Classic Segments

• Teddy Fresh Blush Showcase: Hila demos new blush shades on Ethan (21:00–24:40). “I feel like I'm a teddy glow, you might call it.” – Ethan [22:47]
• Audience Interaction: Frequent shoutouts of “Dan’s cool” and jokes about being “scared of the hoes.”
• Sidebar Tangents: Riffs on biblical bears mauling kids for calling a prophet “baldy,” the non-existence of juicy Mormon asses, and silicon foreskins found on Amazon.
• “What does it mean to have a boner?”: Brief segment featuring a nonsensical Gabe video, lampooned by the crew [17:05]
• Closing Banter: The episode careens into a discussion on demonic symbolism, linguistics, more Reckless Ben follow-ups, and community superchat acknowledgments.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “If we let this guy out of jail, he's gonna kill our staff. Like, how can you possibly think of letting this guy out of jail?” – Eamon [56:10]
• “My official response to Ammon is Goo Goo Gaga, because I feel like that's the appropriate way to respond to someone who's acting like a baby.” – Reckless Ben (clip) [84:00]
• “Cutesy is the most terrifying.” – Tom [51:43]
• “He acts really, like, cutesy. Like he's clearly got some form of sociopathic disorder...” – Eamon [57:26]
• “This aiming guy is genuinely, like, a danger to society. Like, he. He actually needs to be arrested because he's just committing, like, felonies on. Felonies on felony.” – Ethan [76:00]
• “Sex appeal is something that a lot of these marchers are missing.” – Ethan [163:59]
• “Words mean something. And power. Magic is gay.” – Ethan and Tom [201:52]
• Running Gag: “Interesting. That makes a lot of sense in a lot of ways. That's super cool.” [208:43 and throughout Big Nick segment]
• “This is the dumbest conspiracy theory, brain-melted, paranoid, delusional shit I've ever heard in my life.” – Ethan [183:58]
• “Listen, demon, this plot point doesn't make any sense. Can we try to reach out that, please?” – Ethan (re: automatic demonic writing Harry Potter) [194:49]
• “You should have stayed in his garage.” – That’s what happens when you read 30 books a day, let’s not talk about me or whatever it was.” – Tom [224:31]

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Key Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------------|-------------------| | Reckless Ben Story Begins | 48:00 | | Eamon’s “Kill the Staff” Calls | 55:50–57:10 | | Child Porn Name Confusion | 68:29 | | End of Reckless Ben Segment | 91:10 | | Drum Major Salute Comp Segment | 92:20–168:10 | | EverQuest Legends Banter | 97:16–106:07 | | Big Nick/Demon Eraser Conspiracy React | 173:45–221:31 | | Memorable Superchats/Outro | 227:01–End |

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Highlights & Memorable Bits

• The “Arm up against Reckless Ben” call: Eamon’s paranoia about Ben possibly killing staff, leading to a discussion about clear projection and prepping for a "defense" narrative [56:10].
• Drum Major Salute Madness: Each host brings their own flair, including Ethan’s over-the-top nipple flash, Tom’s precise march, and Tamara’s traditional routine – all lampooned and celebrated in slow-motion replays.
• The “Goo Goo Gaga” Response: Reckless Ben’s ultimate retort to underhanded villainy [84:00].
• Big Nick & Demon Eraser: The melting pot of unhinged anti-Semitic/satanic conspiracy, mocked mercilessly by Ethan and the crew as prime modern internet paranoia.

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Conclusion

This episode is a quintessential, maximalist H3 Podcast: part internet true crime, part long-form improv, part old-school internet culture deep-dive, part parody, all delivered with Ethan Klein’s signature blend of cynicism, Jewish neuroticism, and millennial meme wisdom. The show oscillates between righteous fury on behalf of Reckless Ben and playful, irreverent self-parody during the marching band challenge and Big Nick’s conspiracy meltdown. For new listeners, it’s a crash course in H3’s unique brand of layered internet commentary and crew shenanigans.

If you missed this episode, you missed:

• The wildest escalation yet in the Reckless Ben Lego Wars,
• Classic H3 bits and self-aware, silly contests,
• A masterclass in how not to run a conspiracy podcast,
• Reminders that sometimes, “that makes a lot of sense in a lot of ways. Super cool,” is all you can say in the face of cosmic stupidity.

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Listen for the laughs; stay for the justice for Reckless Ben... and maybe rethink your local Lego store membership.

Transcript

[Tamara]

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[Hila]

like a deep breath of fresh air.

[Kate]

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[Tamara]

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[Kate]

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[Tamara]

and bring an airy feel to your daily moves. Shop the Breezily collection [e-mail].

[Ethan Klein]

guys, it's me, Ethan Klein, host of the H3 show live podcast. Whatever you want to call is what it is. And here we are. It's Wednesday, baby, July 22nd, and we are here with another banger. You might say the show is frozen solid because it is so cool. Today we're sponsored by Fume. Thank you so much. To Fum. Tom is here. It's been so long since I've seen Tom's beautiful face.

[Kate]

See, everybody?

[Ethan Klein]

So nice to see Tom, isn't it, guys? Look at him. Just look at him.

[Zach Bernstein]

Oh, yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yes. We have such a fun. What's going on over there, Tommy boy?

[Zach Bernstein]

Sorry, it's my first time on air.

[Kate]

Yeah, yeah, I freaked out a little bit.

[Ethan Klein]

Everything okay?

[Zach Bernstein]

Everything's okay with your stream opens up. Yeah, I was streaming this live, trying to try to get some views.

[Ethan Klein]

You're restreaming me right now on Instagram Live.

[Kate]

I'm trying to blow up.

[Ethan Klein]

That's crazy. We got so much to talk about. We got a new Big Nick. Oh, you guys, you know I love Big Nick Facts. And he's teamed up with someone even crazier than him, like by far, somehow, right? And they're talking about black magic and stuff. And of course, it's basically, if you want to know why black magic exists and. And why any problem in the world exists, say it. It's obvious, you Jews. It's the Jews. It's just like this hour long, psychotic, anti Semitic Jew obsessed rant and it's absolutely fantastic. Millions of Jews, Big Nick. So we'll be talking about that. It's such a fun video. It's just bananas

[Tom]

Jews.

[Ethan Klein]

See here, a friend of the show, Reckless Ben dropped a new video which we're gonna. We're gonna take a look at. Absolutely bananas. What these people are up to somehow topping themselves in villainy. This guy Eamon is such a freaking Amen. Amen. Amen.

[Tom]

Amen.

[Tamara]

Amen.

[Ethan Klein]

He needs to go to jail.

[Zach Bernstein]

Amen.

[Ethan Klein]

Because the shit he's getting away with now on camera that Ben found is mind blowing. So we'll show you guys that we're also having. We'll be doing a. Our own cheer. How do I explain this? Dan, this is your cheer.

[Tom]

Did you just call it cheer?

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know. That's why I threw it to you.

[Kate]

Oh.

[Tom]

Well, I mean, it's a lot to sum up, but basically, there was a suggestion on the subreddit that. That Tamara actually saw that she was just delight by suggesting that we all do saluting like a drum major in a marching band. Here's the post, just to see what we're talking about. Segment idea. Ethan and the crew give their best drum major salute. Now, what did you. Why did this tickle you? Like, why did you immediately run to insist that we do this tomorrow? What is funny about this?

[Hila]

Because.

[Tamara]

Actually, it's because.

[Tom]

What is funny about this?

[Tamara]

One of the. Well, one of the top comments was just about how Dan would eat, and I agreed, and I wanted to see that.

[Tom]

Okay, well, I do have some drum majoring experience. Although this is the big leagues. I never did anything quite on this level.

[Ethan Klein]

What in God's name is that outfit, lady?

[Tom]

Anyways, so more on that later.

[Ethan Klein]

We'll.

[Tom]

We'll. We'll talk. We'll talk marching band a little bit, and we'll. We'll do a little explainer on all of this. And then those brave enough to try might take. See if they have what it takes.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll be there.

[Tom]

You'll be there.

[Tamara]

I've already tried to be cowards.

[Ethan Klein]

And who's got it? Who doesn't want to do. I mean, it's fine.

[Kate]

You don't want.

[Ethan Klein]

I won't pressure you tomorrow.

[Tom]

Tried to back Tamara, who was very excited. The entire thing about five minutes ago was like, guys, I was thinking about it, and I think I'm just gonna let you guys do it.

[Tamara]

Before the show started, I was like, dan, just so you know, there's a chance I might not do it. Don't. Don't pressure me. And then. And then I hear Zach go, oh, okay, then I'm not doing it.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I mean, the whole thing was your suggestion.

[Tamara]

I know, but. Because it's funny when you guys do it.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, what is your concern? That you're too cool?

[Tamara]

Well, I want.

[Ethan Klein]

Potentially.

[Tamara]

I'm not. No, it's not. I'm too cool.

[Ethan Klein]

You are very.

[Tamara]

I'm not cool enough.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, don't take a lie to this tomorrow. What? I said don't take offense to this, but you are the most band coded person here.

[Tamara]

That's not true. That is rude.

[Tom]

And I. And I did marching Band for four years and somehow you managed me. It's pretty wild.

[Tamara]

So what are you trying to say?

[Ethan Klein]

I said what I said.

[Tom]

You have band kid energy.

[Tamara]

No, I don't. And I'll have you know.

[Ethan Klein]

What's wrong?

[Tamara]

The one year I was in band.

[Tom]

Oh, and there it is.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes. The leader. No, the mvp. The valedictorian.

[Kate]

I.

[Tamara]

You know what? Never mind.

[Tom]

You can't do that.

[Tamara]

I was gonna say I was very high.

[Ethan Klein]

That's not contradictory.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Hila]

Okay.

[Tom]

We know you were in marching band. Yeah, it's fine.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. No, you can be high.

[Tom]

We were all high the entire time.

[Tamara]

And then I quit, and I. But she made a whole scene of it.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, because she knew you were meant to be there.

[Kate]

She.

[Tamara]

No, because I was in the.

[Ethan Klein]

She knew.

[Tamara]

No, she was.

[Ethan Klein]

You need to be in band.

[Tamara]

No, I wasn't in band. I was one of the twirling dancers.

[Tom]

She was in color guard. She was in color guard, bro.

[Tamara]

Not that funny.

[Tom]

No, there's nothing to be ashamed of, being in color guard.

[Ethan Klein]

You were like a wand, bro.

[Tom]

A flag, Right?

[Tamara]

It was all right.

[Tom]

It was a.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes. What kind of flag?

[Tamara]

I don't know what that means. Like a gay one.

[Ethan Klein]

What?

[Tamara]

A pride one.

[Ethan Klein]

Was it a pride flag?

[Kate]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

Then why?

[Tamara]

What was it?

[Tom]

It's usually just like a color or something.

[Ethan Klein]

There's nothing like that. I mean, flags generally mean something.

[Tom]

These don't. They're generic flags Must have just been a color.

[Zach Bernstein]

Can we see an example of what she's talking about?

[Tom]

We'll watch a bunch. We're getting ahead of ourselves.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Like, overall.

[Hila]

What?

[Kate]

My favorite flag. Hezbollah.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Hold on.

[Tom]

No, that's what they were flying.

[Kate]

They were.

[Tom]

They were spinning. I'm not even kidding.

[Kate]

It's actually a dope flag.

[Ethan Klein]

Tamara, you weren't flying. Spinning a Hezbollah flag.

[Tamara]

That would be awesome.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, just make sure.

[Kate]

Hezbollah.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. Dan, would or Hasama put together a marching band with, like. You can. You can imagine. I don't even need to say the kind of flags you'd see on the field there. So that's what we got going on here today. I'll also say, you know that me and Hila are leaving tomorrow morning to go to Oliver Trees Memorial in Santa Cruz. I invite you all to tune in on Saturday night at 7pm I'll be sharing a link as it becomes available on my social media stories, my Instagram stories, and in my absence, the crew is going to be stepping in. Tomorrow will be a members only crew only episode. Thank you so much to the crew or the gang.

[Tom]

Very welcome.

[Ethan Klein]

Friday I will not be here, obviously, but After Dark is going to be stepping into the main slot boosted and they'll be taken over from there. So thank you to them as well. And I'll be back on Monday like Nothing ever happened. A.B. and Harley are currently en route to Shambhala. How you feel about that, Lena? You're away from your man for a fair bit of time.

[Hila]

For the longest since we've known each other.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. What?

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, it's like five, six days or something. I mean, it's a long time.

[Hila]

I dropped him off at the airport today. He was wearing a cowboy hat. I guess it didn't fit into his

[Kate]

suitcase, so he had to go a little bit.

[Ethan Klein]

Is that part of his outfit for the event?

[Hila]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Kate]

He looked cool, though.

[Hila]

I liked it.

[Ethan Klein]

You did? Okay. Yeah.

[Tom]

That's very. That's interesting.

[Ethan Klein]

On a plane is kind of like, okay, rotten carpok.

[Hila]

It's a bit much.

[Ethan Klein]

It's a bit much.

[Tom]

But did you tell him that?

[Kate]

No, because I liked it.

[Tom]

Oh, you were into it.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tamara]

Right.

[Tom]

Okay, fair enough.

[Ethan Klein]

She likes that. It was a bit much.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

You've always been kind of into the bad boys like that. Cats, Mustangs.

[Tom]

That's what you always say.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah. And I still don't get that.

[Hila]

But.

[Ethan Klein]

What? AB is the quintessential bad boy.

[Tom]

He's a bad boy.

[Ethan Klein]

If you say so. Well, like, he's sweet, but exterior.

[Tom]

Bad boy with a heart of gold.

[Ethan Klein]

Exactly that. And that's the bad. That's the bad boy that every girl dreams of.

[Kate]

I like it.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

You're the only one he likes and loves in this world. Nobody else understands him.

[Kate]

She fixed him. She fixed him.

[Ethan Klein]

Might say. Well, fixing him is a lifelong journey. And luckily he's not here to defend himself. Hold on. Luckily he's got someone there for him. But, you know, I was talking to AB last night. So they're. So he's meeting Harley at an airport and then from there they still have to drive nine freaking hours. I was like, who goes to this thing? They have to drive nine hours.

[Tom]

It's going to be.

[Ethan Klein]

Holy God.

[Tom]

An interesting set of characters.

[Ethan Klein]

And then once you're there, you stay there for five or like four days. How long is he going to actually be at the event? It's like three or four days.

[Hila]

Honestly, I don't know anything about it. Or like, I don't even know where he's staying. I don't know how it works. I Don't know if he knows either.

[Ethan Klein]

It's so long to be camping. I feel like I'd be over that so fast.

[Zach Bernstein]

Well, first hour.

[Ethan Klein]

First hour. Yeah. I mean, may. Maybe I could last a few hours of, you know, like. Okay, I get it.

[Zach Bernstein]

People watching.

[Ethan Klein]

Five days. Well, unfortunately, he's stranded there with Harley and a very, very unbalanced looking gentleman who's their Sherpa, But I guess that's who you want leading.

[Tom]

Unbalanced? Hold on. That's rude.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, he did look it. He did that.

[Tom]

What does that mean?

[Ethan Klein]

Show the picture.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Just because he looked high and was covered in face tattoos, I don.

[Zach Bernstein]

May or may not be so what?

[Ethan Klein]

A Juggalo may or he did look Juggalo coded. And I think we love Juggalo. I don't think he would take offense by me saying he looks unbalanced.

[Tom]

You're unbalanced.

[Ethan Klein]

Some people say that you're about to drop that.

[Tom]

That fume. More on that later.

[Ethan Klein]

No, my fume is balanced. Hila just stepped in. Hi, Hila.

[Hila]

Hello.

[Ethan Klein]

How are you?

[Tom]

You look fine, everyone.

[Hila]

Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, give it up.

[Hila]

Dance. Wardlove chacha pati cha cha tea cha cha tea.

[Ethan Klein]

It feels like Friday, but it's not. It's Wednesday. Oh, yeah.

[Tamara]

Here.

[Ethan Klein]

This is his Sherpa. Now you tell me this is the pinnacle of a fucking man, a grounded individual or what? This man, his feet is nailed to the ground. Eh?

[Hila]

I love it.

[Zach Bernstein]

But I wouldn't. If I was going to Shambhala, which you could not pay me to go to, I would trust this man with my life.

[Tom]

What do you mean you can pay You. You take a million dollars just to go to Shambhala? You wouldn't take a million.

[Ethan Klein]

He would take way less. He would take way less. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

Come on.

[Ethan Klein]

Although I honestly, I do like the idea of Zach being forced to endure that for five days. That would be so goddamn funny.

[Zach Bernstein]

Not gonna happen, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

For a million bucks. I'm not giving you a million bucks. What about 10 grand?

[Kate]

No.

[Hila]

Not enough.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I feel like that's 20.

[Kate]

No, no.

[Zach Bernstein]

20 grand.

[Tom]

You wouldn't for 20, 000.

[Ethan Klein]

I believe him. I don't believe him. Where is it at? Like 50. 50's got to be close to, I

[Zach Bernstein]

think, like 100 grand.

[Ethan Klein]

I believe him. I'm not obviously paying you that. But it. But I'm. It might be worth it.

[Tom]

Turning down $50,000 for four days at Shambhal.

[Zach Bernstein]

It goes quick, dude. Bills, food.

[Ethan Klein]

It goes like that in LA these days. In la?

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

These days.

[Ethan Klein]

Right.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Cool.

[Tom]

Fair enough.

[Zach Bernstein]

I mean, six months of rent, like,

[Ethan Klein]

where the you staying?

[Zach Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

But anyway, nobody's paying you, so that's all right. We don't have to worry about that. So, yeah, we got all kinds of stuff in the works. And then also next week, I've got a big master plan coming to fruition. Big master plan that I'm so excited about, you might say. The Empire Strikes Back. Although they were the bad guys. What's one of the. How could I say that? Where I'm the good guy.

[Zach Bernstein]

You're the rebel.

[Kate]

Return of the Jedi.

[Tom]

You're about to lose horribly next week.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Tom]

About to have your arm cut off.

[Ethan Klein]

No, it's Return of the Jedi. I'm Luke Skywalker showing up at Jabba's.

[Tom]

But that's chapter three. Is this the third part?

[Ethan Klein]

Might be. I don't know. It depends how he plays with it. I'm making my next chess move against James Charles next week, and I'm so excited.

[Tom]

Well, that's like part like 30, then.

[Ethan Klein]

Is it 30? I don't know who's keeping track, but, yeah, last time we put up the billboard, which. Which was a huge success, but it was only up for. I don't even. Was it even up for a whole day?

[Zach Bernstein]

About a little over 28. Four, I'd say.

[Ethan Klein]

36 hours before he made some calls and they removed it, and then they refunded me the full amount. Full amount. So I forwarded that to our next project.

[Zach Bernstein]

But not only that, you got content, like, three shows out of the whole saga. Emails back and forth from the guys.

[Ethan Klein]

So this time,

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

he.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know how he's gonna get to undo this, but if he manages to. I'll just take that money and set. Send it to the next person.

[Kate]

Fuck you.

[Ethan Klein]

What's that meme? Do you want one kiss or do you want me to send it to the next. Do you want a hundred dollars or should I give it to the next person? Double it and see those videos. Yeah, it's like that, but flyers about James Charles being a predator. Do you want this flyer of James Charles being a predator, or should I double it and send it to the next person? And every time he takes it down, he's basically looking me dead in the eye and saying, double it and send it to the next. So, anyway, look forward to that.

[Kate]

He forgot my chips.

[Ethan Klein]

He's not gonna win. He's not gonna win. How about that?

[Kate]

You.

[Ethan Klein]

You scumbag.

[Tamara]

You.

[Ethan Klein]

Stop talking to young boys. Stop using your social media. Like a. Like a cookie jar where the cookies are young boys. You know what I mean?

[Tom]

That one always gets me.

[Ethan Klein]

James. People are starting to, I feel like, turn a little bit on James. I mean, obviously a lot of us. No, but you've been turned on. TikTok. He has a fortified, like, fan base and a platform that's really, really defensive of him. But I'm starting to see some, you know, chinks in the armor, as it were. And I'm about to bust this armor wide off James Charles.

[Zach Bernstein]

I'd be, like, getting with the hottest dudes ever.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, what's. What's the deal? Why you. Why.

[Zach Bernstein]

Why is that controversial? Oh, yes.

[Ethan Klein]

You could get the best cock in L. A, and there's a lot of

[Kate]

good in L. A. Oh, yes.

[Zach Bernstein]

There you go, Zach.

[Ethan Klein]

Oceans of it. And, like, the fact that he. He needs to pick people up in his Instagram and Snapchat DMs. Come on, bro.

[Kate]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Ethan Klein]

The cock that man could get. I'm telling you, bro.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Something a man could only dream. Let me take a call. Hi, this is Ethan Klein speaking. How can I help you?

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Hello?

[Ethan Klein]

Hi, how are you?

[Kate]

Oh, my God.

[Hila]

How are you?

[Ethan Klein]

I'm very good. How are you? What can I do for you? 73,000 cheese pizzas, please. All right, I'll take care of that for you.

[Kate]

All right.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, sounds good. All right, thanks, guys. All right.

[Tom]

Do you think he was ordering?

[Ethan Klein]

Sometimes they hit, sometimes they miss. Yeah, 73,000 cheese pizzas he requested, so that's no problem. Let's see here. We got a banger from Gabe. Yes, Uncle Gabe is delivered again. Once again, he's on the beach this time, enjoying his life, and he brings us this special message. Gabe, go ahead with it.

[Kate]

To have a boner. What does it mean to have a boner? What does it mean to have a boner? What does it mean to have a boner?

[Tom]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

What. What does it mean to have a boner? What does it mean to have a boner? What does it mean to have a boner?

[Kate]

Have a boner.

[Ethan Klein]

What does it mean to have a boner? So that's Gabe. Everybody's on the beach, and he's wondering, wow, he's having deep and deep thoughts. Mystical thoughts. Yeah, he must have been taking some, like, peyote or something.

[Tom]

Ayahuasca.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, ayahuasca. To reach those levels of consciousness. Yeah, but what does it mean to have a boner? Well, I think it just means when you're. When someone with a penis, you know, fills up And I didn't think you

[Tamara]

could break a penis.

[Ethan Klein]

Gross. Is that what you want? Do I. Does he want me to explain to him? Does he. Should I call Gabe and tell him what's a boner?

[Tom]

No, that's all right.

[Ethan Klein]

He seems like a genuine.

[Tom]

No, no, Ethan, that's something we all need to figure out for ourselves.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, well, he. I mean, he's in his 50s, so I'm. I'm just a little. And he's trying to get.

[Tom]

We all. We all move at different speeds. That's okay.

[Hila]

Fair.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll leave that to his. His nephew. That's. Oh, also. Hila, Teddy.

[Tamara]

Go.

[Ethan Klein]

New blush.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Is dropping. When is that dropping?

[Hila]

This Friday at 9am that's so soon.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, there's no link here. I'll just show.

[Hila]

I have them.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, you have it with me? Let me show that.

[Hila]

They come over every.

[Ethan Klein]

You could show it there. It's the same. Why you want to put it on me? You have the same camera. Oh, that one. Yeah, yeah, my.

[Zach Bernstein]

Why don't you grab that handheld here?

[Ethan Klein]

Hey, hey, come on.

[Tom]

Just take the whole thing. It's stuck on there.

[Ethan Klein]

Where? Oh, it's a story. Here, let me show you the. Wait, where's the story? Oh, it's on. Not on. Teddy Fresh.

[Tom]

There we go. Perfect.

[Hila]

All right. Hi, guys. How we doing today?

[Tom]

We're doing so good.

[Ethan Klein]

Doing fantastic. Thanks for asking.

[Hila]

So I wanted to show all four together. Where's the camera? Where am I?

[Ethan Klein]

Camera's right here.

[Hila]

I am here. Okay. All right, so here's the previous shades. You see that?

[Tom]

I do. I do see that.

[Hila]

Toss him off. I don't know. It's hard a little bit to tell. And this doesn't seem to help either. And this is sunny.

[Tom]

Sunny.

[Hila]

I don't think the light. The phone light is helping.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not helping.

[Hila]

And this is peachy moment.

[Tom]

Yeah, that's flaring right into the camera now. It's actively. Actively making it worse. You're actively making it worse.

[Hila]

Do you want some blush?

[Ethan Klein]

You want pestle? Mummy going to play sun? Yeah, I really like the. What was it? The sunny moment, I think, or the sunny. Hold on.

[Hila]

These are the two new ones.

[Ethan Klein]

This is here. Why don't you do one cheek and. Yeah, yeah, do one. Well, I don't want both.

[Hila]

No, they go together.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, I want one on each cheek so I can decide which is my. Which is my look.

[Tom]

How else is he gonna know?

[Ethan Klein]

So what is it called? A peachy moment. Yes, I love a peachy moment. I Like moments. I like bad, mystical moments. Here you can take a look at what I have on screen.

[Hila]

It's very blendable.

[Ethan Klein]

You can see it on different skin tones. The peachy moments versus the sunny moments. All the moments in between. And here you can see. Thank you. Here you can see the process made right here in la.

[Hila]

Peachy moment. Makes it look like you just heard a big laughter from them, you know,

[Ethan Klein]

and you're like, oh, okay, I'm feeling peachy. We good on that one? So easy on my nose. Okay.

[Tom]

What was that?

[Zach Bernstein]

That was you laughing.

[Ethan Klein]

I know, but the odd one right on the nose. Eh?

[Kate]

Little on the nose.

[Ethan Klein]

I kind of with that. I think that looks nice.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Hila]

I'll add a tiny bit more, like on camera. Yeah, like you don't see it as much.

[Ethan Klein]

Sure, sure. Yeah. You showing. Show my screen so you can see the whole. Yeah, there you go. Look at this right here in Los Angeles, baby.

[Hila]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at that formula.

[Hila]

It is made right here.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, it's actually.

[Hila]

I was at. Yeah, actually, I don't know. I shouldn't say who they work with, so never mind.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, don't say.

[Hila]

I buttoned myself.

[Ethan Klein]

IRL button.

[Hila]

IRL button.

[Ethan Klein]

So this is peachy. And we're moving on to the sunny moment now. And who doesn't like the sun? I mean, it's the whole reason we're here, folks.

[Tom]

Goth kids.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. They say, am I right? I mean, sunshine, but they do. You know, where would we be without. Where would we be without the sun? What would be like, cold and miserable place that would be.

[Kate]

If they like the moon, they have to like the sun.

[Ethan Klein]

That's right.

[Tom]

Who said they like the moon?

[Kate]

I'm assuming they like nighttime, right?

[Ethan Klein]

Let me see.

[Tom]

Ever heard of a new moon?

[Ethan Klein]

Dude, I kind of slaying right now, eh?

[Kate]

I don't want to fight right now, Dan. Not on stream.

[Ethan Klein]

Slaying.

[Tom]

We'll talk later.

[Ethan Klein]

Can I get some slaying in chat, please? So there that is. Oh, that looks fantastic.

[Tom]

Chat. Are we slaying right now?

[Hila]

It gives you, like, a slight glow.

[Ethan Klein]

I feel like I'm a teddy glow, you might call it. Eh. All right, all right. I'm feeling nice for the show here. Fantastic. Look at me. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I think this one pops more for my skin tone.

[Hila]

So I've been wearing both.

[Ethan Klein]

You do both?

[Hila]

Yes, because I do the sunny on the, like, outer side. I do sunny more like.

[Ethan Klein]

Can I hear her?

[Zach Bernstein]

Not really.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

You got to talk right in that.

[Hila]

Okay. I do sunny more like on the outer side. And then I go with Peachy more in the center. And they look together so nice. So you could wear both.

[Ethan Klein]

You wear both. Guys. Thank you.

[Zach Bernstein]

You look younger.

[Ethan Klein]

I know. I know. It's just. It looks fantastic. I'm glowing. I'm blushing. I'm.

[Hila]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

What is that called? Alopecia. Ing. Not really. That's when your face gets red, right?

[Zach Bernstein]

That's rosacea.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, I'm getting rose. But in a good way, you know, not in, like, a ginger way. No offense. I'm good. Thank you. Thank you. Hila. So, yeah, that's coming out on Friday, and that's pretty much all I have to say about that. Remember, you can head on over to Teddy Fresh.com and have one shared cart so you can get free shipping.

[Hila]

Oh, yeah. Galia asked if we could swatch all four on someone's hand.

[Ethan Klein]

You want to do me? I mean, I'm right here.

[Hila]

Okay,

[Ethan Klein]

we've got the cutting board. Oh, there's still more cutting boards. Oh, that's. That's lucky. Yeah, we restocked, so we have more cutting boards. We got these tie dyes that everybody loves. So add it all to a cart and get yourself some free ship in there. Hey, come on. No, you can't. All right, you keep doing that, and I'll move on. So basically, we have. There's three stories we want to get to. We've got Reckless, Ben and the band story, maybe. Where should we start? You want to do Band first or Reckless?

[Tom]

We have to do our ad in about five minutes, so why don't we actually do either and just do a quick little goof, like perhaps looking in our little goofy.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, this. I want to revisit this. I saw this clip again, and it's so fucking funny every time. But what I really wanted to is revisit this for a sound bite. It's a shame that Kid Cudi isn't on our soundboard, and so I wanted to watch it again to enter the collective consciousness again. I'll show it to the overhead when you're done. So here is Kid Cudi ruining Selena Gomez's day here.

[Kate]

You think I can go live on Facebook? Could I do that? I mean, you can do that. That's what some people do. Is that what the people do? You remember that lady that.

[Hila]

So we got, okay, Peachy at the top and then Sunny and then Tosti Mauve and then Papu Berry.

[Ethan Klein]

There it is. Lovely. All right, back to Kid Cudi and Selena. Yeah, you could just. Gonna smear everywhere If I leave it there.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

This is one of the best clips ever. Kid Cudi, I don't know what's his deal, but something ain't right with that guy. The way he handles himself in this clip.

[Kate]

You think I could go live on Facebook? Could I do that? I mean, you can do that. That's what some people do.

[Tamara]

Yeah. Is that what the people do?

[Kate]

You remember that lady that went live on Facebook?

[Hila]

What?

[Kate]

She got pulled over by the police and they shot her husband.

[Ethan Klein]

Actually, I do. I think I do remember what he's talking about. It was really horrific. Like, you watch the guy bleed out in the passenger seat.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Yeah, it's terrible.

[Ethan Klein]

She's like, screaming. It's horrible. I don't. Crazy horrible.

[Kate]

Okay. She had the whole thing on FaceTime Live.

[Hila]

That's.

[Kate]

No, yeah, it was gnarly. Okay. Three years ago.

[Tamara]

I don't.

[Kate]

I don't like that. Yeah, it was crazy.

[Tom]

That is so funny.

[Kate]

It was like, when.

[Ethan Klein]

But he also was going on. But it's like, they're so not understanding each other, and he. He doesn't get. He thinks she's, like, into the story and that she's like, wow, that's so interesting. I hate that that happened.

[Kate]

Please.

[Tom]

Why are you telling me?

[Ethan Klein]

This is cr. Like, please stop talking about this. He's like, no, yeah, I'll tell you more about it.

[Kate]

Like, you know, cops just killing.

[Tamara]

Right, right, right, right.

[Kate]

I don't like that. Yeah, it was crazy. It was really sad. It was like, when. When all that shit was going on with, like, you know, cops just killing.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

But.

[Ethan Klein]

Right. So, I mean, listen, I don't know what's the nature of the relationship or what exactly is going on there?

[Tamara]

They seem super high to me.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes, that's.

[Tom]

Yeah, I believe so.

[Kate]

I say this respectfully. That's peak Scaring the Hoes energy.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it. I don't know. I think that's. I think that's Cudi's vibe. I think he'd just be scaring hoes three years ago.

[Kate]

I feel like you would do that, too.

[Ethan Klein]

Me?

[Kate]

Cudi said I could see you doing that.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, un. Like unaware something.

[Kate]

You bring something horrific up. It's like, oh, yeah. You see this weird thing that happened in these fucked up.

[Ethan Klein]

But, like, unaware. Just straight scaring the host for no reason.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

That's love of the game, baby. That's not. That's not me. Tell them, Hila.

[Hila]

It's not him.

[Tom]

I don't know if I believe that.

[Zach Bernstein]

That sound bite reminds me of this

[Kate]

whenever we talk about burning the witch.

[Zach Bernstein]

You know the era where we used to burn the witch.

[Ethan Klein]

I do, yeah.

[Kate]

Era never really stopped.

[Ethan Klein]

Really.

[Zach Bernstein]

Type of witch we was burning changed.

[Ethan Klein]

It did.

[Zach Bernstein]

And then it also reminds me, which I made this comparison quick.

[Kate]

I was with Tristan Tate and we were drinking. We were drinking and like, I was. It was crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

It was. It sounds crazy.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

It was. It was crazy.

[Hila]

Why are we watching this all?

[Ethan Klein]

Because. So it came up and I was like, oh, my God, I love this clip. And then it occurred to me that we don't have it on the board. The soundboard.

[Hila]

Oh.

[Ethan Klein]

I wanted to re. Enter the collective consciousness so that we

[Zach Bernstein]

could add it back to the soundboard. Let's hit. Hit the gong.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow. It's crazy. Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Kate]

I mean, you can do that. That's what some people do.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. We also. Yeah. There's a story. Who was this Unate. The bear story.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

Are you.

[Tom]

Dan brought this up randomly.

[Ethan Klein]

So there's a story in the Bible that's actually, you know, listen, I'm not a religious guy, and I can definitely acknowledge the importance that, you know, the. You don't have the Bibles.

[Tom]

You don't have to do this.

[Ethan Klein]

The Bibles have. Have played in our, you know, our coming of age as a species. Right. I'm generally not like the. I'm not like a Bible guy. I don't read the Bible.

[Tom]

Yeah, we know.

[Kate]

So I found this story.

[Ethan Klein]

This story did speak to my soul.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was crazy. I found it by just gemini ing. Top 10 up Bible stories.

[Ethan Klein]

Was this number one?

[Kate]

Yeah, it was number one.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. I don't know how you top this.

[Tom]

I don't know why you guys think that this story is fucked up. I'm actually kind of. Are we talking about the same story? We're talking about the bear story. Right. Because this is heroic. This is divine.

[Ethan Klein]

It's called Elijah and the Two Bears. Yeah. Now, you guys expect. You didn't really do me any favors here. This is a very long.

[Tom]

All that matters is the beginning. Just read from the top.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. So then he went up from there to Bethel, and he was going up, by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said, go up, you bald head. Go up, you bald head. When he looked behind. Terrible. Saw them.

[Tom]

That's terrible.

[Ethan Klein]

He cursed them in the name of the Lord.

[Tom]

Good, you bald gnome bastard.

[Ethan Klein]

Curses upon you in the name of the Lord.

[Tom]

Curse those young lads.

[Ethan Klein]

It says young lads. So what are we looking at maybe

[Tom]

like 13, 13, 14 years old. Raps a bunch of little rascals.

[Ethan Klein]

The thing is, you know, at that age, obviously we're all immature. But the good thing is we have time to learn and to mature and to be good young men.

[Tom]

Read on.

[Ethan Klein]

When he looked behind him, he cursed him in the name of the Lord. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up 42. 42 lads crazy. He killed 42 of them. 20, 25. And he went from there to Mount Carmel. And from there he returned to Samaria.

[Tom]

I love how it just moves on. He's just like, yep. So that happened. And then he went on to the next city.

[Ethan Klein]

So they. So a few of them, it sounds like, called him Baldy. And then God sent two female bears. I don't know why they have to be female, but I guess they're especially ferocious this time of year, right?

[Tom]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

They're in heat. They're in heat.

[Tom]

They're in heat.

[Ethan Klein]

Those damn women. Women be maul. So two female bears comes and violently eviscerates, tears up 42.

[Tom]

42 children.

[Ethan Klein]

Sounds like a few of them called this guy Baldy.

[Zach Bernstein]

I'm in agreement.

[Ethan Klein]

He's got massacred.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

And then he just walked on. He didn't even. Barely even acknowledge it. The event describes in verses may seem repulsive to many.

[Zach Bernstein]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

And totally out of character with the person.

[Tom]

This is editorial. No, this is editorial.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, let's see how they spin it. Maybe it's an analogy. A man who was more peaceful and personal than Elijah. Eliza. Elijah. Similar names. As Krumasher remarks. A deadly burst of vengeance upon a troop of wanton youth. A curse pronounced upon them in the name of the Lord. How characteristic of the legal dispens. Dispension.

[Tom]

Dispensation.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, but how opposite to all we have said of the character and call of Elijah. As a messenger of the kindness and love of our God.

[Tom]

Very kind. It was very kind for him to stand up for that bald man. Dan, I fear you just described yourself.

[Kate]

Yeah, I'm well aware.

[Ethan Klein]

You are bald. Yeah. Though I wouldn't. I shall never joke about it again.

[Kate]

Never ever.

[Tom]

Tell me to go up.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm afraid.

[Tom]

Never tell me to go up anywhere.

[Kate]

I like Dan.

[Tom]

Dan's cool.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you. Dan's cool. Dan's cool. We must remember, however, that the word of God, which is alive and active like those female bears, is also the mighty channel of the spirit of God. Uses to bring men out of darkness and into the faith of Jesus. Well, they're dead. Two years ago, you killed 42 children. I. When are they gonna have a chance to find the spirit of God?

[Tom]

Well, they were lost. They were lost.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Their children were damned.

[Tom]

Their souls were damned at that point.

[Ethan Klein]

Also, it's not like they just called him baldi. It's not like they broke into the house and did some unspeakable crime.

[Tom]

Excuse me, you want to button that? I was highly fucking offense.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what this tells me? You know what this tells me? God is bald. Dude, he's so defensive. He has no hair, bro.

[Tamara]

That's so true.

[Ethan Klein]

He's so angry at chill.

[Kate]

He's gonna send the bears here.

[Zach Bernstein]

If you're a God and you can make anything, wouldn't you have bomb hair? I mean, come on, let's be real.

[Ethan Klein]

Apparently not.

[Zach Bernstein]

Why would you not have hair? That's crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

Why is he so defensive for the ball?

[Tom]

Because.

[Zach Bernstein]

Because he knows we're awesome.

[Tom]

Hold on.

[Ethan Klein]

Take it sounds insecure. That's all I'm saying.

[Tom]

Listen to your own logic. It's not insecurity. Yes, God is bald. But yes, with him being all powerful, that is clearly he's bald by choice.

[Zach Bernstein]

Dan, I have a question.

[Ethan Klein]

Why is he so defensive about it?

[Zach Bernstein]

Are you familiar with the term imago dei, the Latin expression? No.

[Tom]

Please elucidate me, my friend.

[Zach Bernstein]

The image and likeness of God, that is you. Dan.

[Ethan Klein]

Dan is gone.

[Tamara]

What about Tom?

[Ethan Klein]

What about.

[Tamara]

What about Tom?

[Zach Bernstein]

Tom is Jesus. Dan is gone.

[Tom]

Yeah, we're actually the same being and the Holy Spirit. Different aspects.

[Ethan Klein]

You're saying that Dan looks older than Tom?

[Kate]

No. Come on.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, I mean, that's what you would be implying.

[Tom]

That's fine. I'll be the big guy. I'll be the big guy.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay?

[Zach Bernstein]

He's God, he's enlightened. He's bald by choice. It wasn't an age thing, it was a.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen, maybe in all this universe of everything in God's creation, there's one thing he cannot find for some reason, the cosmic ability to control. And that is the fucking baldness. That crept on over his head over the millennium, over the billions of years in which he's resided as God and prince and king of this creation, this whole. All of the universe and all multiverse is within.

[Tamara]

He's probably not bald. He probably just had like a close secondhand. Like how Dan is to you.

[Ethan Klein]

You think he's getting that defensive for a second hand?

[Tamara]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Nah, this motherfucker is bald.

[Zach Bernstein]

And he gave his son long luxurious hair.

[Ethan Klein]

Right? Because that's what he Wish he had.

[Tom]

Yes, because he's the junior partner.

[Ethan Klein]

All I know is he sent two bears to slaughter 42 children for calling him baldy.

[Tom]

Exactly.

[Kate]

Jesus.

[Zach Bernstein]

Number two in the funnel.

[Tom]

Watch your fucking back. Listen, listen to this. This super chat is important for understanding Dan. You're welcome. From Block Chicken. Thank you, Block Chicken. As a bald headed Jew, I'm 10,000% on board with the bears protecting the balds. Praise be to the bald heads.

[Kate]

Hey, hey, hey.

[Ethan Klein]

Protecting.

[Tom]

Don't interrupt. Praise the bald heads. Dan and Tom. Thank you, Adenoi. Jesus Allah who protect the balds. Shalom alakam. Salam alakum.

[Hila]

Please.

[Tom]

Praise be to the bald heads. Thank you so much, Block Chicken. That was beautiful. That was a beautiful prayer, buddy.

[Kate]

I like Dan.

[Tom]

Dan's cool.

[Ethan Klein]

I believe. What is that? Queso?

[Tom]

Yeah, that is.

[Ethan Klein]

I believe he is also bald, isn't it?

[Tom]

No, I don't think so.

[Ethan Klein]

Take it back. I don't know anything. I don't know. Google it.

[Tom]

He's a good guy, you fake queso fan.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm not a fake. I'm not a queso fan. I mean, I don't dislike. I just don't know anything about him. I don't even know if he has hair or not.

[Zach Bernstein]

And there's a lot of good in LA so quick with it.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, listen, it's a city of 5 million. There's got to be a lot of good cock. The gospel.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's see here. You know that these may be deeds of ignorance, of apathy, or of out and out rebellion or a combination, but regardless, it often results in hatred of the light that is manifest in one form or another. Yo, I'm sorry Bible.comorg but y' all are coping hard to defend God on this one.

[Tom]

I think actually what they're saying is that God, the way that they're framing it, which this is just their opinion, but the way that they're framing it is that it's sinful to mock someone for something that they have no control over.

[Ethan Klein]

Kill them.

[Tom]

And they're basically the, the. What they're telling me is the Bible is woke because it's anti ableism.

[Ethan Klein]

So you're anti Bible now?

[Tom]

No, I didn't say that. I'm not, I'm not anti woke. I'm just identifying.

[Tamara]

You say the Bible, this is a

[Tom]

woke passage right here.

[Ethan Klein]

And they like also explode a city of people for having gay sex.

[Tom]

Yeah, but you got to like, you know.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, it was crazy running through the sodding gomorrah.

[Tom]

It was crazy it's crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, it's gnarly. Years ago, a few years ago on Facebook live, Solomon Gomorrah.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

God sent fire and brimstone. Crazy. Destroyed the whole city. Crazy.

[Kate]

Crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

Just because there was like three gay couples having sex.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was gnarly.

[Ethan Klein]

It's so gnarly.

[Tom]

It's gnarly, man.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Three years ago.

[Ethan Klein]

Anyway, that's what that is, guys. And shout out to the Bible, of course, for inspiring us through the ages.

[Tom]

Shout the out to the Bible, man. Shout out to Moses.

[Kate]

Thank you for understanding, Dan. I really appreciate that, man.

[Ethan Klein]

You're welcome. There's one more thing before the the sponsor. This is short a new song for Kate from our. One of our resident performers. I love this guy. I got to know where he's from because his accent is very unusual and I just got to know what's his native language, if anyone has that.

[Tom]

Why do you have to know that?

[Ethan Klein]

I'm curious. But anyway, here is Kate. This one's for you.

[Kate]

I love that part. And I hope to make new friendship.

[Ethan Klein]

Basketball, Women basketball.

[Kate]

I like watching women.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. You know, I heard that WNBA is looking for a new theme song because it's getting. It's growing in popularity.

[Tom]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is getting big.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Hila]

I didn't know there was a dance involved too.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

But that's his second song about women's basketball.

[Hila]

I always just hear it.

[Tom]

He's a big fan.

[Hila]

Let me see you do the dance.

[Tom]

If they hit the. The bts. Yeah, he was hitting that.

[Hila]

Oh, that's what that was.

[Tom]

I think so.

[Ethan Klein]

I wonder if he's into tall chicks. Like super tall chicks.

[Tom]

Yeah, they are quite tall.

[Ethan Klein]

Because he's probably what, like three foot?

[Tom]

I. I don't know.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

That's like a big size difference. I wonder what. How would that even go? You know what I mean? You ever wonder that? Damn. No.

[Zach Bernstein]

Like sexually?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, of course.

[Zach Bernstein]

I'm very mad.

[Ethan Klein]

Like what do they. I wonder if that's ever happened. Like a. A seven foot woman with the three foot guy. Like, what's the logistics?

[Zach Bernstein]

How many billion people are there?

[Ethan Klein]

It's got. Have happened. It's probably happening right now somewhere.

[Hila]

Happening right now?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Hila]

And they're loving it.

[Kate]

She pulls out her breasts and she's juggling them. Look like she about to fall over. Then she bends over and pulls down.

[Ethan Klein]

Is that what happens, Ennis? Sounds fun cheeks.

[Kate]

I'm not lying. I'm telling what's on the video?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah.

[Hila]

Dump them out.

[Kate]

Stripping down butt naked.

[Ethan Klein]

Did we reached out to these two? Are they really. Have we really not made any leads on getting them to call in? I thought these people rushed to the.

[Hila]

Oh, I love this look.

[Ethan Klein]

Rush out to get on the show,

[Kate]

you know, and showing everything on the video and all you could see was cellulite hanging in.

[Ethan Klein]

Pubic hair, pubic hands, cellulite. Lord help me, Lord, help me. Save me, Lord, from that cellulite and pubic hair pennies. Let's thank our sponsor. I love some sponsored. And I love the product today. I mean, fume. I'm fuming, baby. Now, what is a fume? This is going to help you quit vaping. Smoking is going to keep you on the right track, and it's going to help you quit for good. Chances are you've probably tried to quit more than once already. And let me tell you something, you are not the problem, okay? It's how you're trying to quit that's the problem. Because the truth is, smoking and vaping, it's a habit. It's not just about the nicotine. You know, it's about the whole ritual of holding it, of going outside, of fidgeting and tasting something. It's the whole. And so what the fume has done that's so genius is they've brought you the ritual that's made it so hard to quit, and they've made it really enjoyable. So you've got like. It's like a fidget. It's like nice and heavy. You change out the. The air. It's a flavored air cartridge. So this one I have in right now is cinnamon. It's very easy to pop out and change. I don't know if I have any here on my desk, but it just looks like this. And they last for a really long time. It's just a black tube, right? Yeah. You swap it right in here. And you pop the top back on. And then it's got this really nice magnet action so you can fidget with it, which is really good. It's got a really just. You hear that?

[Hila]

Ooh, I like that sound.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, no, it's very satisfying. And then it also has here, you can twist it so you can control how much air you want in.

[Tamara]

Watch.

[Ethan Klein]

See, I'm really bad at this. See that? Yeah, that's what's going on with fume, right? You know, the patches, the gum. It only deals with the chemical side of things. But what you really need to break and what fume helps you is the gosh darn ritual. You know, sometimes you Got to reach for. Yeah. Is Brain Fume is a flavored air device that gives your hands, mouth, and brain a better habit when cravings hit. There's no nicotine, there's no vapor, there's no batteries. It's not a vape. It's a device designed to distract you from cravings when your willpower isn't enough. And there's tons of. There's 10 different flavors. Classics like crisp mint spear ice maple pepper, peach blush. I've tied. I've tried a bunch of them. They're all really good. And it's nice just to get that variety going, you know? I saw this. Oh, God. And it comes with this. This incredible magnet.

[Hila]

I love it.

[Ethan Klein]

It goes on your desk and it's so fun to fidget with.

[Hila]

Wait, you're nodding. Okay. No, yeah, Yeah. That's so satisfying.

[Ethan Klein]

Come on. It's. There's no friction. There's barely any friction. It just glides around so you can play with it. It's like a. It's its own fixation just right there on your desk. Keeps you distracted from the. From the cravings. And you pop it open, hit it as hard or gentle or whatever you need to do with it. Ah, Fuck trick. Feels so good. Check this out. This lady does a really good job of. Where's that lady? I saw a lady on their website that was really good that I wanted to show you guys. Lady, where are you? Well, anyway, I did a fine job, didn't I?

[Zach Bernstein]

Fantastic as always.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at this hot doctor. This guy's this hot ass. Young doctor. Dream stud is telling you it's time to fume. You know, this is for md the experience was similar enough to replace the ritual behavior, but different enough that I wasn't constantly reminded of what I was missing. As a doctor. I can't say that any particular strategy, technique, medicine, or surgery is going to work for every patient, but I've seen incredible results myself. And you'll see, every time I talk about it, there's people in the chat who are saying, I have had tons of success with fume. People love it, who have tried it, and they stick with it. And you're going to see the results. Really? And guess what? They got an offer for you. If you're ready to break the habit, now's a great time to try Fume. Right now, when you grab a journey pack, you'll get a free fume topper just for using our code H3. The Fume Topper adds a soft, replaceable, chewable mouth piece, providing something Safe to chew on when the cravings hit. Cover you in the office and at any time, frankly, grab this offer while it's available. Head to try fume.com h3. That's T-R-Y-F-U-M.com and use code h3 to get your free fume topper with your journey pack. Thank you so much. To fume. Give it a shot. I think that there's a good chance that this could really help you quit. What do you got to lose, huh? Thank you, guys. All right, let's see where we are at here. We got so much to get to. So what should we do? I guess let's do Reckless Ben first. Yeah. This came out yesterday and the story.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

It was crazy. And it just continually surprises me the depravity that these so called Mormons, these pious God fearing individuals will go just to like and just to avoid because they could have paid this guy off and it could have ended so long ago. Now it's just straight up Vin. Vin Vengeance. It's just been. He just wants to Ben over. Which again, I believe that's a sin. Wrath, Right? Are you not supposed to lie? Is that a sin?

[Kate]

That's gotta be one of the ten commandments.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Thou shalt not lie.

[Zach Bernstein]

Bangers.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

And then also. So that's one of the big ones. He's breaking a lot repeatedly. But wrath is also a sin, I believe.

[Tamara]

Amen.

[Ethan Klein]

Amen, brother. So he. This guy is really all over the board. He's going to hell. I'm sorry. If there is a Mormon God, this man is going to the infinite void and he's just gonna float in space forever. So anyway, check this out. So Ben continues to get.

[Jeff]

That's what's going on.

[Ethan Klein]

He continues to get body cam footage from them. And every time it's just remarkable. So here's the first one. And I recommend you guys all go watch the whole thing at Reckless Ben YouTube channel. But I'll show you some highlights here.

[Kate]

That's.

[Jeff]

That's what's going on. But at this point, I. I just need some information so I can tell our staff what is going on. Because if I need to go and get some of my staff armed so that he can't threaten them, that's what

[Hila]

I need to do.

[Jeff]

Or they're gonna go find him and rearrest him because he clearly had to have violated some kind of rule. There's gotta be something to stop this guy.

[Kate]

Sure.

[Jeff]

Continuing to intimidate our staff.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

How'd you guys let this guy out of jail. This is a.

[Kate]

This.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

If we let this guy out of jail, he's gonna kill our staff. Like, how can you possibly think of

[Kate]

letting this guy out of jail? You watch this. I feel like you're just like, dude, this is hilarious. I'm like, dude, this pisses me off. Yeah, it's pretty funny. Yeah. Like, he's literally lying through his freaking teeth.

[Jeff]

I don't know what has been done since he was arrested yesterday.

[Kate]

Sure.

[Jeff]

Like, we. We all signed a big sigh of relief.

[Ethan Klein]

The context is he's upset that he got out on Bailey. He wanted him to be held in jail indefinitely, bail denied. Which, by the way, is a pretty extraordinary situation to deny bail. I mean, it's not for someone like Ben, certainly.

[Kate]

Right.

[Hila]

That's for the Tate brothers.

[Ethan Klein]

Right, right. And they actually. And unironically. Yes. Because they. They're accused of severe crimes and they have the means to escape.

[Hila]

To escape.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

This morning, knowing that he was arrested last night and then to have this happen all over again, like, everyone's feeling some pretty. Pretty significant trauma that he's just not going to stop.

[Kate]

So it's not the police or the. Or corrections that let him out. That's.

[Zach Bernstein]

That's going to be a judge.

[Kate]

Right. And so that would be a complaint that would have to be directed towards their office to find out what, like, what. What's the deal? Why would you let this guy out when he's stalking us? Right, That's.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

So.

[Jeff]

So, yeah, really quick. Sorry, let me grab a pen. Who do I. Who do I contact for that?

[Kate]

He's like, dude, what are you talking to me about this for?

[Tom]

Talk to the judge.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Police officers. Like, we tried to keep him in jail until his court case for a month, but stupid judge let him out. So, like, don't complain to me, complain to the judge.

[Kate]

What are you doing? I suggest you put all. All evidence that you have against this guy on that.

[Jeff]

He acts really like Cutesy. Like he's clearly got some form of sociopathic disorder because he. He lies through.

[Hila]

Clearly.

[Tamara]

For being cute.

[Hila]

Clearly.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Have you. I've never. Cutesy is the most terrifying.

[Tom]

Cutesy. Call them cutesy.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, did we see the part. Did we miss the part where he says his staff needs to get armed?

[Tom]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Hila]

No, we don't.

[Ethan Klein]

Cuz he said something about how they're all.

[Tamara]

That was in the very. We.

[Kate]

Listen, that was the beginning. The first thing he said.

[Ethan Klein]

Cuz I feel like, like we.

[Kate]

He asked that they should.

[Tom]

I think you just spaced out. We all heard it at this point.

[Jeff]

I. I just need some information.

[Ethan Klein]

Hold on. I. I feel like I want to show a little more context on it.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

And I get out of jail, and

[Jeff]

now it's not this thing. He was.

[Ethan Klein]

I love this whole. This whole call. So, yeah, he. He finds out that he got out on bail, completely normal, and he calls the cop to cry and. And just make the most outlandish lies about this dude who's completely harmless. Like, Ben is not going to kill anybody. Like, what are we talking about? It'll be so funny if he did. I was like, let my boy Ben out and he just slaughters everyone at the store. No, of course not.

[Tom]

That'd be bad.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I'd be like, I was wrong. I was so wrong, guys. Yeah, they should have denied him bail. It was crazy.

[Jeff]

So he was arrested and it's. I think he was booked into the Utah County Jail, and he. He must have been released. Even though he's an out of state, you know, like flight risk.

[Ethan Klein]

He was released.

[Jeff]

He's a YouTuber that does this stuff.

[Tom]

He's a YouTuber,

[Hila]

like, that's a mob member.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, to be fair, he's generally. That is a. No, that is a red flag.

[Tom]

Yeah. Horrible reputation.

[Ethan Klein]

YouTubers. He's not wrong.

[Jeff]

And clicks.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Jeff]

He was arrested in California for doing this kind of trespassing and kind of stuff, you know, like, before, just, I think in 2024.

[Hila]

Right.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

My first time getting arrested ever was for serving my court papers. My first time ever being arrested. This is my first time ever getting arrested.

[Ethan Klein]

But I think I love Ben. He has a clip for every thing.

[Hila]

That's also what's so frustrating about this whole series. It's all on video.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, this guy is. Eamon is not getting away with this. I'll tell you that. And if there's one person that I would not want to with ever, like this reckless Mr. Ben Schneider, because this guy makes me look like.

[Hila]

Because he's all cutesy.

[Ethan Klein]

A boy scout.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Tom]

He was right.

[Hila]

He's so cutesy. He is YouTube videos cutesy.

[Ethan Klein]

He is cutesy, though. He's just determined. He's cutesy and determined. And guess what, Eamon, you are the bad guy. Look at the lies you're telling, thinking, oh, he's not cute. He's the opposite of cutesy. But that dumbass mustache.

[Tom]

Mustache is not cute.

[Tamara]

Amen.

[Ethan Klein]

Amen. That's so funny.

[Tom]

Amen.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll tell you Amen to amen.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Well, if I lie to the Police and make it seem like he's a criminal. Maybe they'll just keep him in jail this time, you know, so.

[Jeff]

So that's what's happening. And so. But we, we like, he's also been. Been passing fraudulent gift certificates to financially harms.

[Kate]

Fraudulent.

[Ethan Klein]

They're like, what the fuck? They're.

[Kate]

Does he mean the. The Guinness World Record?

[Tom]

Oh, I was so confused.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

I've watched that part like five or six.

[Ethan Klein]

I feel like he must be talking about the voucher or he did like a giveaway for Legos so he could file 10 different small claims.

[Kate]

No, first video.

[Tom]

That was separate. That was between Ben and all of his collaborators or whatever.

[Hila]

Oh, no, not that one. He did like, where a kid won.

[Tamara]

There was like a raffle thing and.

[Ethan Klein]

A raffle.

[Tom]

Yeah, maybe that. Maybe that.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, he's doing fraudulent rap.

[Jeff]

He's.

[Ethan Klein]

He's a felon. Yeah, right, that.

[Tamara]

Yeah, he was part of the guys collection.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Kate]

It was crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

It's crazy.

[Kate]

I think he means the world record certificate. This is an award for most Legos stolen by Fanning company in the world.

[Jeff]

That's. That's what's going on. But at this point, I. I just need some information so I can tell our staff what is going on. Because if I need to go and get some of my staff armed so

[Ethan Klein]

he can't threaten them. We need to arm the staff.

[Hila]

This part crazy.

[Jeff]

That's what I need to do. Or they're going to go find him and rearrest him. Because he clearly had to have violated some kind of rule. There's got to be something to stop this guy.

[Kate]

Sure.

[Jeff]

Continuing to intimidate our staff.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

How'd you guys let this guy out of jail? This is a.

[Ethan Klein]

This.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

If we let this guy out of jail, he's gonna kill our staff. Like, how can you possibly think of

[Kate]

letting this guy out of jail?

[Ethan Klein]

How can he, on one hand say he's cutesy and then on the other hand say he's gonna slaughter. I mean, he's gonna slaughter everybody here with his cutesy attitude.

[Tom]

Well, he was saying he pretends to be cutesy, but he's really a dangerous criminal or whatever. I like Dan.

[Kate]

Dan's cool.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Thank you.

[Hila]

This part was mind blowing to me because it's like he's already starting to build this narrative with the cop.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, well, it works if at some

[Hila]

point he ends up shooting him. He's like, I talked to you guys.

[Tom]

He was threatening me.

[Hila]

The whole time he was threatening me. And we armed up.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. He continues to build on that like

[Tom]

seeding the defensive argument he wants to kill Ben? I think so, yeah. I think he really does.

[Kate]

I feel like you're just like dude, this is hilarious. I'm like, dude, this pisses me off.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Jeff]

We saw it like we all sign a big sign, a sigh of relief this morning knowing that he was arrested last night and then to have this happen all over again. Like everyone's feeling some pretty, pretty significant trauma that he's just not going to stop.

[Kate]

So it's not the police or the, or corrections that let him out.

[Zach Bernstein]

That's, that's going to be a judge.

[Kate]

Right. And so that would be a complaint that would have to be directed towards their office to find out.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, here we are.

[Kate]

Complaint have against this guy on that

[Jeff]

he acts really like cutesy. Like he's clearly got some form of sociopathic disorder because he lies through his teeth.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, I know, I know you are, but what am I? This guy Ayman has got a fucking. He's a psychopath. I mean what he, he's doing a felony lying to the police like this.

[Kate]

Amen.

[Hila]

He's been lying the whole time.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Brazen, shameless, bald faced, mustache twirling lies. Yeah, it was gnarly buzz or he

[Jeff]

can to just get away with whatever he wants. Again, multiple arrests I think in the past in different states.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

So obviously if you look in the police record.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, we saw this.

[Tom]

Until he leaves.

[Kate]

So I want to guess, you know what I mean?

[Tom]

Charge over your evidence.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Doesn't.

[Tom]

Doesn't make any sense.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

I don't know.

[Kate]

That's, that's another charge obviously. I mean we'll, we'll stack him until he leaves you guys alone, I guess keep them, you know where they put

[Tom]

him in jail, one or the other.

[Kate]

Dude that literally. That's so insane saying to freaking say.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Basically I think Ammon lied to them saying that there's a restraining order when there wasn't. And so he's like, oh well that's another charge. And we're just gonna keep making up charges about me until I'm in jail for, for good. Is kind of what it sounds like. Even though the evidence goes against everything you say. I want to help you out, Ammon,

[Kate]

because I can stack.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll.

[Zach Bernstein]

I'll try to stack it on this stocking case.

[Kate]

Oh my God. Did you not know that he's recorded?

[Zach Bernstein]

I am just going to.

[Ethan Klein]

Well he, the cop thought it was all going to be redacted. They messed up.

[Hila]

It's crazy to see them basically like having a brainstorming session on how they're going to get Ben. Yeah, you know, the aiming guy.

[Ethan Klein]

And the police, there's no consideration for what happened at all. It's just like, hey, this guy, we need to get him back in jail. And he's like, all right, we're going to figure it out. We're going to stack charges. We're gonna get him, put him back in jail. And also, like, the severity of the accusation that he's, like, threatening them.

[Kate]

It's.

[Ethan Klein]

It's like they don't even care that they're basically trying to pin a, like a really serious felony on him.

[Hila]

They want him gone forever.

[Ethan Klein]

It's just evil. I hope these cops all get fired, too. And it's the least that could happen.

[Kate]

Figure this out here. Okay, sir, I'm gonna call the jail.

[Ethan Klein]

Sound. When you're plotting to ruin a young man's life for. Let me figure this one out

[Zach Bernstein]

and

[Kate]

then I will meet you over there.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Okay?

[Jeff]

Okay, perfect. Yep.

[Ethan Klein]

Hey, it's Abrams. Zach. All right, listen, if you want to meet me at the police station, we can. We can collaborate on lying to arrest this kid. Head on over to down the police station. We'll do some corruption together. Love it.

[Hila]

Thank you.

[Kate]

How you doing? You guys let a guy go this morning. It sounds like me. Was released from the jail today. Officer Abrams.

[Jeff]

Nice to meet you.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, he met him at Midi Fig. What a service. Yeah, I'll come down to your spot. We'll do a little.

[Tamara]

First time they were meeting.

[Ethan Klein]

Sounds like it.

[Tamara]

That's crazy that they were having that talk on the phone like that.

[Ethan Klein]

So intimate.

[Tamara]

Yeah, you would think they were so trusty. You think they went way back.

[Ethan Klein]

They might. They might.

[Zach Bernstein]

Hey, real quick, this is a weird observation, but where's his ass? Go back to that shot. There's no ass.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, explain that.

[Kate]

He's a big guy.

[Zach Bernstein]

Where'd it go?

[Ethan Klein]

Whoa. Explain that. I don't think marmots have asses.

[Tamara]

Okay, that's.

[Kate]

You can't.

[Tamara]

You can't make a.

[Ethan Klein]

You. No, I'm serious. That's part of the.

[Tom]

No, you sound like a fool.

[Zach Bernstein]

There's got to be a juicy ass. And you toxic.

[Ethan Klein]

Not in no church. Not in the church.

[Kate]

Come on, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

Only when you leave the church, you're ask.

[Tom]

You're so ignorant.

[Hila]

Have you seen them with the glaze?

[Ethan Klein]

They're basically. Their faces are glazed. Their asses are light.

[Tamara]

You don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

Damn, I would like to eat. Why do you. What do you know about what I know?

[Tamara]

I know you don't know about Mormon ass.

[Zach Bernstein]

You watch Salt.

[Ethan Klein]

How do you know that?

[Zach Bernstein]

Salt Lake Housewives.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. You've never even seen some Real Housewives of Salt Lake.

[Tamara]

Yes, I have.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, really? What happens in it?

[Hila]

Not who's Ja.

[Ethan Klein]

Stop.

[Hila]

Girl, don't lie like that.

[Tamara]

I've seen. It's been on. My mom has watched it.

[Ethan Klein]

Stop. You're out of your element.

[Tamara]

You're out of your element.

[Ethan Klein]

You are so far out of your element.

[Tamara]

I'm gonna put together a PowerPoint of asses and you tell me which ones are the Mormon asses. No fucking idea.

[Ethan Klein]

Easy, easy.

[Kate]

Taking my body camera.

[Ethan Klein]

Hey, come on back here to the corruption room. I'm gonna turn the body cam off. We'll do a little Corruption together. Nice to meet you, by the way.

[Kate]

First time setting it down for a second so I can use the bathroom. He shouldn't be doing this stuff, you know what I mean? All five of them should be charged.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Basically what they're saying now is five of them put Ben in jail for like, for forever. For trying to serve these court papers. We should put all five of his team members in jail for trying to take you guys to court. You guys don't deserve to go to court. And anyone that tries to take you to court, we're gonna put him in indefinitely.

[Jeff]

They started threatening to kill some of the staff.

[Ethan Klein]

That is great. You are a monster, bro.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Look at this.

[Ethan Klein]

That's a demon. Amen. You're a demon. Look at that. And your name means demon.

[Hila]

It's all on video.

[Ethan Klein]

Amen. Amen.

[Kate]

The.

[Ethan Klein]

Did you just say about Ben Schneider? Genuinely like one. A nice, genuine, honest man.

[Kate]

Amen.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

We're going to put him in jail indefinitely.

[Jeff]

They started threatening to kill some of the staff.

[Ethan Klein]

Shut the up. It's all on tape. You show me that clip of Ben threatening to kill the staff. Come on. Come on, buddy. Let's see it. Surrounded by children's toys. Shame on you. All right, this is. This is actually a holy church. The Lego back room.

[Zach Bernstein]

Lego's for all ages. It's not a children's store.

[Hila]

Right.

[Ethan Klein]

Backstop.

[Hila]

Right.

[Ethan Klein]

It's cool.

[Zach Bernstein]

Was it 5 to 99 on there or something?

[Ethan Klein]

Like 5 to 99?

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

But yeah, you gotta stop at 99 that it gets dangerous past 99.

[Tom]

Do they say that on the box?

[Hila]

So wrong? Because it's gonna be very good for your brain to do Legos when you're old.

[Ethan Klein]

Not by 99. I heard. I've heard of several 99 year olds eating and choking to death on Legos.

[Zach Bernstein]

I've heard that too.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, they just can't see, they can't think. God, I'm gonna be such a miserable old man.

[Zach Bernstein]

You already are.

[Tom]

You already are.

[Zach Bernstein]

What do you mean? You mean gonna be.

[Ethan Klein]

They'll be like, oh, dude, I'm gonna be like the most like out of my mind driving danger to.

[Hila]

Let me show you. Let me show you how wrong you

[Ethan Klein]

are about a fat ass woman. 97 year old grandma.

[Hila]

Open that, please.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, she's 97. What do you. Yeah, what's your point? It says 99.

[Hila]

Look at her, she looks awesome.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, she's 97.

[Hila]

She built that.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, what's your point? She's in the age bracket.

[Zach Bernstein]

She's got two years.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, she still has two years and

[Hila]

she's gonna go beyond.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you know how quickly your brain deteriorates from 97?

[Hila]

She's gonna go to 99 and beyond.

[Ethan Klein]

Find me one 99 plus year old LEGO builder and I'll show you a liar.

[Zach Bernstein]

Hilo. I gotta say, I was expecting juicy Mormon ass. Yeah, I was too, kind of disappointed.

[Hila]

This disappointed you, Tom?

[Zach Bernstein]

Sorry, I was expecting something else. You're not into bills?

[Tamara]

Tom is looking like a crazy tech bro right now.

[Hila]

Look at him.

[Tamara]

He's set up, but he's so overexposed. I love it.

[Ethan Klein]

Anyway, back to this demon. Look at his face, bro. I saw you. The demon on your face, brother. That's a.

[Tamara]

That's a reptile.

[Ethan Klein]

That. That right there ain't from this earth.

[Hila]

That's the.

[Tamara]

Like that. Those eyes. That's a reptile eyes, Dan.

[Ethan Klein]

No, sir.

[Tamara]

You know what I'm talking about. When you look at a reptile and there's. Yeah, you can see there. Yes, my brain.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, you don't got to explain yourself to me. I know all good well about the reptilian.

[Tom]

I'm just trying to. I'm not trying.

[Ethan Klein]

Immunology is a Grand Marquis of hell who governs 40.

[Tom]

The Grand Marquis of Hell.

[Ethan Klein]

Infernal legion. So that's like 46.

[Tom]

Look at this guy.

[Hila]

My God. That actually looks like him.

[Ethan Klein]

That's. Amen.

[Hila]

That could be him, you know.

[Tom]

And also Nate, can you fade, dissolve

[Kate]

between the two, please, please?

[Ethan Klein]

Now a man, he. He manages 40 infernal legions of hell, which sounds like really a deeply managerial.

[Tom]

It's a lot. It's a lot of task.

[Ethan Klein]

And so I think that lines up also with Eamon, who's CEO.

[Tamara]

No wonder he's so stressed.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. So I think another evidence that, that he is the demon as described real

[Zach Bernstein]

Quick, this is a weird observation, but where's his ass?

[Ethan Klein]

No, I can't see his whole body.

[Hila]

He's got a giant tail.

[Zach Bernstein]

Calm down, Zach. Calm down. Yeah, and there's a lot of good in LA that is true.

[Ethan Klein]

They're not in la. But point. Yeah, I hear your point. Anyway, go ahead. Aon Liar.

[Jeff]

And so they're just like, hey, if you don't, we're going to. We're going to kill you if you don't get this guy his money back and all this other stuff. And like all these things. And so we're like, dude, like, you guys have to go through the appropriate legal.

[Ethan Klein]

He's so obviously lying.

[Kate]

Yeah, we're.

[Ethan Klein]

We're going to kill you if you don't give him back his Legos, dude.

[Hila]

You guys got to go through the appropriate channels. Meanwhile, he gets to have police in his back room, in his store call him up while. And telling them what to do, bro.

[Tamara]

Look at him.

[Ethan Klein]

He's such a little. Why are you sitting on a little fold out chair, bitch? Look at him. This is your store. Look how the cop is dominating you.

[Tom]

Holy God.

[Ethan Klein]

The red, crooked red line is crazy right now on him, on his posture.

[Jeff]

This guy has nothing to do with it other than he just gets off on. On making videos and, and like he

[Tom]

gets off on it, dude. Sexually.

[Kate]

Oh my God.

[Jeff]

And he films himself doing illegal things all the time. And then he gets his videos taken down. Do all sorts of.

[Ethan Klein]

Sounds like a fan. How many bids you watch? Probably on his patron too.

[Jeff]

That's what we're dealing with is a guy who like honest to goodness, he's associated. Okay. Because we've done some additions.

[Ethan Klein]

Takes one to know one.

[Hila]

How is he lying like that on God's name?

[Ethan Klein]

This is a devout Mormon.

[Tamara]

He said honest to goodness.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Tamara]

Is that something that religious people say?

[Jeff]

We're dealing with his time and then he gets his videos taken down.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, regardless, he's lying.

[Hila]

I think, I think basically that's what he's saying.

[Jeff]

That's what we're dealing with. A guy who like honest to goodness. He's.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, who's goodness. Who's the ultimate goodness God?

[Hila]

The G, the top G. Top G.

[Ethan Klein]

He worships Andrew D. Top G. Yeah, you're so. Not only are you lying now, you're lying once again. And the other guy already lied on God's name. He go, I swear to God. Swear to God. So thank you. I mean, amen. What are the Mormons doing? You know? Come on, get your people, get them in Order.

[Jeff]

As we've done some additional like searches on him, he has like. It appears that a relative of him of his because he's originally from Ohio and then he moved to la. Shout out some relative of his with the same name. Like, based on what we can piece

[Ethan Klein]

together some relative of his, same name, the child.

[Kate]

Spoiler alert.

[Jeff]

Like, of like child porn?

[Tom]

No, he hadn't said it until just now.

[Ethan Klein]

No sexual like

[Jeff]

contact, some of these other types of things. So there's a very real chance that he may have been abused as a child, but.

[Kate]

Whoa, whoa, hold up.

[Hila]

What?

[Tamara]

Very sorry, I didn't get to pre watch this. What?

[Hila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tamara]

What? He just jumped his inks to where he was actually raped as a child. So.

[Ethan Klein]

And that's what we're dealing with here.

[Hila]

And that's why he is a real bad guy.

[Tamara]

That's why he's cutesy and dangerous.

[Ethan Klein]

He's trying to. I'm just trying to explain to the officer the psychological profile of this psychotic, murdering rapist, child predator murderer also. And he's from Ohio. Even worse than all that.

[Tamara]

Oh my God.

[Tom]

White boy. White boy.

[Ethan Klein]

White boy. White boy. Yeah. IO has a lot of interesting exports, I'll be honest.

[Tamara]

Yeah, so does everywhere, Right?

[Tom]

Yeah. Including tomorrow. That's right, yeah.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, just cheerio old Iowa. What'd I say? I already forgot.

[Kate]

Ohio.

[Hila]

Ohio, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

Whatever. It's like the same ass state. Same ass white people.

[Tamara]

No, totally different.

[Ethan Klein]

Anyway, look at it. Look at this demonic face. Look how he lies in the face of God.

[Hila]

Honestly, all I see now is that demon that you showed.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah. 40 infernal legions he manages. 40 norm. Another higher level managerial demon than that.

[Tom]

There's very few.

[Ethan Klein]

Very.

[Tom]

He's near the top. He's near the top of the hierarchy for sure.

[Kate]

I like Dan.

[Tom]

Dan's cool. Kill Jaden, perhaps.

[Ethan Klein]

Kill Jaden. What is about Beelzebub? Is that the devil or is that like a high level demon? I don't.

[Tom]

I think Kil Jaden's from the World Warcraft.

[Ethan Klein]

Seems fake. All right, sounds fake.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Sounds fake. I got to hear this again because it's so outrageous. It just.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

It leaves you in your tracks.

[Jeff]

And he films himself doing illegal things all the time. And then he gets his videos taken down, do all sorts of research on him. That's what we're dealing with is a guy who like, honest to goodness, he's a sociopath. As we've done some additional like searches on him, he has like. It appears that a relative of him of his. Because he's originally from Ohio and then he moved to la. Some relative of his with the same name, like, based on what we can piece together, was like convicted of.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, how is this. How is this relevant at all?

[Tamara]

This is the research, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

It's so sick.

[Hila]

This is the writer's room.

[Ethan Klein]

This is a sick, sick puppy right here. It is kind of right child, you

[Jeff]

know, sexual, like contact, some of these other types of things. So there's a very real chance that he may have been abused as a child.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, him. He had it coming. You know, most commos kids of child abuse don't deserve it. But Ben, he had it coming. What a Look at his crazed face he is.

[Hila]

You know, somebody in chat said, is this accusation a projection too?

[Ethan Klein]

That's a very good question.

[Hila]

Very good question.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm such a decent human being, I'm not even going to go there. I'm not even speculating something like flashbacks.

[Tamara]

That's what's going on in his eyes.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, look. I mean, something's going on. His face. He's been consumed by something demonic. Big Nick. We need Big Nick to exercise.

[Kate]

I'm gonna explain. This will make more sense once we watch the Big Nick video.

[Ethan Klein]

True.

[Jeff]

Through a mental disorder, kind of. Whatever the case may be, he's clearly a sociopath and does not care about the system.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

My whole family is like pretty close and I'm like 99.9999-99-9999 sure there that's not true. But if it is true, I would like to know who that is. So. Because I. I would. That's probably important information for me if there is someone in my family that's like that. But just a really quick update. I think we found the guy that Ammon's talking about.

[Kate]

Athens man is sentenced after he was found guilty of 110 felony counts for

[Ethan Klein]

recording and distributing child pornography from his home.

[Kate]

Benjamin Schneider is sentenced to eight years in prison.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

So, yeah, I guess this guy also got charged in Ohio and he has a very similar name to me. It's actually the exact same name as me.

[Ethan Klein]

And well, that's what he said. He said someone with the same name as him in Ohio. Deep, deep, deep research they've done here

[Kate]

clearly hired the best that this person was me.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Maybe that explains why he's saying I have been arrested multiple times. I mean, clearly this person is not me. I mean, it's. But also, maybe Aman's not the smartest person in the world, so maybe he thought that we were the same person. I. I don't know, but this is the closest I was able to find of what Ammon could be talking about.

[Jeff]

We know this guy's a sociopath. And so we're. We're.

[Ethan Klein]

By the way, this employee is just like, yeah, yeah, we've all been threatened to be murdered. Happens. Yeah, yeah. Still little mitts, like, he's just down. Who knew that Legos was such a corrupt, dirty, dark business? Eh? You know that about this world, Zach.

[Zach Bernstein]

I try not to blame LEGO itself,

[Ethan Klein]

but it's not Lego's fault. But the people. You wouldn't. You wouldn't expect it. But this is a. This is a deep, dark business. There's a dark, deep hole in the hearts of Lego people.

[Hila]

I would have expected this to be the most wholesome people.

[Zach Bernstein]

You know, I didn't know what I was getting into.

[Ethan Klein]

It's never too late to get out.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Very afraid for our staff.

[Kate]

Yes, sir.

[Jeff]

And these guys coming in, they've threatened people before. They don't care about the law.

[Ethan Klein]

Right.

[Jeff]

And that's. That's what. What makes us very scared is because, again, like, do I. And I'm kind of asking a serious question. In your opinion, would you go get a shotgun?

[Hila]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, what, What? What? By your opinion, should we set up laser turrets inside of our sword?

[Kate]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

Vaporize Ben Schneider a few steps foot in.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was gnarly.

[Tom]

Trap doors, electrified floors.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes. We need trapdoors or maybe logs hooked to chains attached to the roof.

[Tom]

Maybe. Maybe like a giant boulder that gets released and rolls you over. Raiders of the Last Ark.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Tom]

I like Dan.

[Kate]

Dan's cool.

[Zach Bernstein]

All right.

[Ethan Klein]

What about me? I said the same thing. I even started the conversation. What about me? Queso.

[Kate]

I like this guy.

[Tom]

He's a good addition.

[Ethan Klein]

Why everyone got to be talking? Oh, talking Dan up.

[Tom]

W. Dan.

[Kate]

He's a good guy.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, he's just. I mean, listen, he's obviously just lying to. Well, he wants them to do something. He wants him to sound as dangerous as possible to the police. And also he wants to. He's kind of building an alibi if he kills him.

[Tom]

Right. That's kind of what I was feeling.

[Hila]

That's exactly what I feel.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Hila]

Crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

That's why he's in danger.

[Hila]

Insane.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

No, but this. This aiming guy is genuinely, like, a danger to society. Like, he. He actually needs to be arrested because he's. He's just committing, like, felonies on. Felonies on felony, and he's using the

[Hila]

police like they're just his little minifigs.

[Tom]

Oh, very good.

[Ethan Klein]

They are not your minifigs, sir. Well, and the police should, should, you know, they're like riding so hard for him. Y' all should stand up for yourselves. This man just played you for fools. Yeah, and you are fools, by the way.

[Hila]

There could be hundreds of Benjamin Schneider in America.

[Ethan Klein]

Of course they're acting like the thousands.

[Hila]

The only other one has to be related to this guy.

[Ethan Klein]

It's no, it's obviously the most brain dead.

[Tamara]

They obviously just looked up on their phone. Ben Schneider, pedophile, Ohio. Yeah, you're convict, Ohio.

[Ethan Klein]

There's probably literally thousands of Ben Schneiders in America. It's me. I mean there's over. There's like 350 million people here, so.

[Zach Bernstein]

And there's a lot of good in LA.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, you should. 350 million. I mean imagine how much good in the country.

[Zach Bernstein]

Every state juicy ass is

[Ethan Klein]

here.

[Tom]

Check it out. This is just a white pages search. 311 Ben Schneider.

[Ethan Klein]

How many are pedos?

[Tom]

Who knows?

[Ethan Klein]

The pattern is there. Listen, officer, I'm just saying there's 10 of them that are pedos, so statistically it's extremely likely that he might be one of them.

[Tamara]

Related?

[Ethan Klein]

No relation? No relation, just same name.

[Kate]

Everybody know a pedophile?

[Ethan Klein]

Think so.

[Kate]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

No. Okay, so why'd you say it? We ain't doing that. That's a good idea. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I know a pedo. I guess the point is we know John Schneider.

[Tom]

We know John. John Schneider?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Well, I don't know him. But you're right though. Wait, John Schneider?

[Hila]

Who's John Schneider?

[Ethan Klein]

Papa, he's a pedophile.

[Tom]

I just love people. I wasn't trying to imply.

[Ethan Klein]

Why would you say that about Papa?

[Hila]

It sounded like.

[Tom]

Yeah, I said don't misconst me.

[Kate]

Damn, you're stupid.

[Tom]

You're stupid, Dan.

[Kate]

Oh no, you're dumb.

[Ethan Klein]

Queso's back.

[Tom]

Sorry bro.

[Ethan Klein]

You up? You up? Queso's back. I like Queso. Queso, you're a great man.

[Tom]

I did like him.

[Kate]

But you're dumb.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Asking like so like you're the police officers. Do you think it's a good idea that we should have guns to defend ourselves next time Reckless Ben comes in.

[Hila]

Right.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

I think what he's trying to do is cuz Josh Johnson said he was going to shoot us just for trying to serve him papers.

[Kate]

Holy so crap. Dude seems like insane. So he's basically asking hey officers, do you think it's a. It's a good idea for me to have a gun, a shotgun in case this guy comes around again so he can get the okay from the police officer. So he's like, hey, the officer said I can. Insinuating that he can kill you.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

The police officer that told me to do this, like I'm just within my rights.

[Ethan Klein]

I was, listen.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Trying to kill me and I'm just defending myself.

[Ethan Klein]

He's not wrong. I think that's the only way to stop Ben, you know? Oh, I think that's the only way to stop this man. He is truly the most dedicated hater. Ass if you. I don't know if that moniker belongs to him because he's really a vigilant.

[Hila]

Really cutesy though.

[Ethan Klein]

So it's cutesy man. You're Damon. You got the biggest, most dedicated hater. I don't know. Again, I don't like hater for him because he's not really the right energy

[Kate]

because he's not like he's for.

[Zach Bernstein]

He's for good. He's fighting for.

[Ethan Klein]

He's a vigilante. Can we say that?

[Zach Bernstein]

I think that's better.

[Ethan Klein]

The most dedicated vigilante of all time.

[Tom]

Well, vigilante is. It's illegal.

[Kate]

He is the second best.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, vigilante is someone that bends the rules for the for to get to pursue justice.

[Hila]

But I don't think he's bending rules, Schneider.

[Ethan Klein]

I think that's like his whole shtick.

[Tamara]

No, he's doing illegal things.

[Ethan Klein]

No, not illegal things, but he's. He's taking justice into his.

[Tom]

You're gonna want to walk that back.

[Tamara]

Yeah, I think you're gonna want to walk it back.

[Kate]

He is the second best Batman.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Okay, fair. Let me define vigilante. It's someone who takes the law into their own hands.

[Tom]

Yeah, I don't think you can do that. Yeah,

[Ethan Klein]

well, he. Okay.

[Kate]

Or you're self starter.

[Ethan Klein]

Well then what is he?

[Hila]

I don't know. He's cutesy though.

[Tom]

He's. He's a. He's cutesy.

[Tamara]

He's a.

[Tom]

That's his defining feature. No, I mean he's a.

[Ethan Klein]

He's the most dedicated. Cutesy.

[Tom]

An activist, a truth seeker.

[Tamara]

Once he brings them to justice, he'll

[Tom]

be a hero, an investigator.

[Hila]

He's a truther.

[Tom]

A truther.

[Kate]

A journalist.

[Zach Bernstein]

You're all describing Batman. I can't stop.

[Ethan Klein]

He is in a sense, cutesy Batman.

[Hila]

Yeah, A red headed Batman.

[Ethan Klein]

And cute.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

See? Really cute.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was crazy. It's crazy.

[Tom]

He's so cute.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Yeah. He's trying to come up with a reason to justify murdering us, I think,

[Kate]

which this is actually insane.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Yeah, it's a little scary.

[Kate]

But in a situation like this where

[Jeff]

some people we feel like are in

[Kate]

danger, I personally encourage people who are able to carry legally to carry.

[Ethan Klein]

Everybody needs weapons, personally. How many employees you got on staff? Four. When you have four weapons in store,

[Tamara]

what's four times 12?

[Kate]

That's what he's thinking.

[Hila]

The way that the police just like totally play into whatever Eamon wants them to say and do.

[Ethan Klein]

It's crazy to me as an impartial observer here, I guess I'm not impartial, but outside Eamon is like raving like a lunatic. Like I would be very suspicious. Like this guy sounds like he's maybe a little off his rocker. Maybe look into. Maybe I'll look into this a little bit.

[Tamara]

Maybe somebody he's related to distantly was convicted of something related to pet.

[Ethan Klein]

Honestly, if you go back far enough, it's inevitable and vis a vis, therefore follow the route. Amen. Do the math. I'm not going to say it, but it's obvious.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

State of them freaking out. And I think that kind of explains why because a few hours later we do the Go gofundme. Sheldon gets arrested just for promoting this gofundme. And then they sent a whole SWAT team of police officers to my house to just arrest everyone. So basically Ammon's doing what I like to call the three year old method, which is basically if a three year old really wants something, they're not getting it. What do they usually do?

[Kate]

Whine, cry, Kick the back of the kick.

[Ethan Klein]

I think they're being generous. It's more like the Charles Manson method where the cops are his followers.

[Tom]

I don't know, that's a bit of a stretch.

[Ethan Klein]

It's better than three year old method. That's being way too generous.

[Tamara]

Leave the analogies to Ben.

[Ethan Klein]

I didn't think, I thought it was a better one.

[Kate]

Back of the seat when they're in the car.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Basically this. That's kind of what Ammon's doing.

[Tom]

Oh yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

At first isn't really getting.

[Tamara]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Nailed it.

[Kate]

Oh my God, he nailed it.

[Tamara]

Crazy how similar that was.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Really this. That's kind of what Ammon's doing. Like Ammon at first isn't really getting what he wants. It's like, I mean, I guess he got me arrested, but then I get out of jail and he's like, oh shoot, if I Just keep saying he's stalking us. They're not gonna keep him in jail for stuff. I gotta make up some story to put him back in jail. It's exactly what a 3 year old would do.

[Jeff]

Right.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

And then he said is we're gonna murder him.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what I'm saying, guys.

[Tom]

He's right. A three year old would, would call in a false police report.

[Kate]

Yeah, I like Dan.

[Tom]

Dan's cool. Thank you. I. We're so bad.

[Ethan Klein]

This Queso guy is very like hot and cold, man.

[Tom]

I'm just trying to, I'm trying to win him over.

[Kate]

I'm doing this.

[Tom]

Thank you, man. Thank you.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

We're, we're threatening him and he's not

[Kate]

getting what he wants. So he just keeps like whining and crying. He's like, they're doing this. And we, we keep threatening.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

And we can't. Honestly, we can't really get mad at Ammon for doing this because, I mean, we used to do the same thing also. Right. Like, like literally everyone used to do this.

[Kate]

True.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

But then we turned like five years

[Kate]

old and we grew out of it.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, yeah, I used to call the police. I used to do false reports at 3.

[Tom]

I would call 911 every day.

[Ethan Klein]

When I was a toddler, I did used to prank call911 on payphones because I'm so fucking old. There used to be payphones in the park and the only number you could call is 9, 1, 1.

[Kate]

Oh, shit.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, oh, you're like, hi, there's emergency.

[Tom]

You dial it and then you ride away on your bike.

[Ethan Klein]

Really just panic. You didn't say anything. You just jet. Yeah.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Like we turned five and then we realized that this was not the correct method to get what we want. Yeah. Basically, the person that sent me all this body cam footage asked if I could respond to what Ammon's saying. So I'm saying my official response to Ammon is Goo Goo Gaga. Because I feel like that's the appropriate way to respond to someone who's acting like a baby. And send. So right after this phone call, they arrest Sheldon for just promoting our GoFundMe and sent a bunch of SWAT team members to like Swatter House. Which kind of makes that make more sense to me now of what Ammon was saying.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes. The swatting thing in the first one where they like went to his house with their guns drawn didn't make any sense. But now it's still so dumb of the police to like take his word for something so outrageous. And show up to someone's house with their guns drawn like that. But at least it makes more sense now, right? Yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

But anyways, let's fast forward a little bit. We posted the video and this is, I think five days after we posted the video. Now Matt McNeff, Ammon's brother, calls the police. I don't really think he had a crime. He's just kind of like complaining about our video.

[Ethan Klein]

Let me see. Lucy.

[Tom]

Yeah, so it's my, my brother, I

[Kate]

have a franchise called Bricks and Many

[Tom]

Figs that we run. He was filming and making this. This, you know, pseudo journalistic document or document documentary that he, you know, that's what he's claiming it is.

[Kate]

He released that documentary on Friday and

[Tom]

our lives have been nothing but hell since then. Once this YouTuber released this video, our franchisees are getting a real quick.

[Zach Bernstein]

He needs a fume in his hand.

[Tom]

Yeah, he's jonesing, right?

[Kate]

He really is.

[Zach Bernstein]

Dude,

[Ethan Klein]

get himself a free topper.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yep.

[Tom]

Destroying people's lives and making like it has been.

[Kate]

It has been a nightmare.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

He's not even reporting a crime to the police.

[Tom]

Yeah, okay, so I don't have like a ton of police interactions.

[Hila]

Wait, wait, listen to that sentence.

[Tom]

Oh, I'm sorry. Talked over.

[Hila]

I was waiting for that one.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. Oh, yeah, okay.

[Kate]

He's trying to say that the American Fork police, our company, and the LDS

[Tom]

church are all colluding now in.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, aren't you. Aren't you

[Tom]

protecting our franchisee? And it's one big giant conspiracy.

[Jeff]

I mean, it's.

[Kate]

It's insanity. It's. It's just rage based.

[Ethan Klein]

Anyway, I'll see you on church on Sunday. Thanks for your help there, Jeff.

[Hila]

Anyway, if you could come by my store later so we can talk more about how we're gonna take him down. Right.

[Tom]

And the point that I was gonna make was kind of. Kind of related to that. I haven't had to deal with the police too much, thankfully. But is it normal to just like have a direct line to an officer that's like out on patrol like that?

[Tamara]

I've seen the same thing.

[Hila]

No, not to my knowledge.

[Ethan Klein]

Ever. I. I'm assuming maybe from. He had his, his follow up number from the camera.

[Tom]

I guess it could be. Maybe this is a detective or something that we're seeing the body cam footage.

[Tamara]

I don't know. Usually from all the videos I watch, it seems like it's usually pretty difficult to. To get a hold of someone directly.

[Hila]

We know.

[Tom]

That's been my experience.

[Ethan Klein]

He's probably calling his Personal phone number.

[Zach Bernstein]

Well, the only thing I can think of, like, Ethan Healey. You guys have been to my house. Like, I live in a real small town, like, within la, and I could see, like, neighbors. There's. We have police force and there's probably like 10 people on it. So, like, they live in the area. So I could see, like, one of my neighbors knowing a cop and, like, being able to.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah, I can see.

[Tom]

Maybe this is a small town kind of vibe.

[Hila]

Maybe.

[Tamara]

But we saw the video of them literally meeting for the first time. They said, it's nice to meet you. So they don't. They don't intimately know each other.

[Ethan Klein]

He probably. He could have got it from someone in his church or something or his community.

[Tom]

Hey, you got the old Jeff's number.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, that's right. He's a good Mormon boy. Over there. Get your number.

[Tom]

It's Utah. It's not like the Deep South.

[Kate]

Just.

[Ethan Klein]

I could tell you ain't from around here. Better get he. They. But the cops did literally say, like, that's not how we do around here in the first one.

[Tom]

He is significant, serious harm.

[Kate]

This has gotta slow down.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

What?

[Kate]

Remind me.

[Tom]

Do you know the title of the video?

[Ethan Klein]

Just pay him. Just pay the guy. Just Pay the guy.

[Kate]

I'd like to include that link on the report. The YouTube creators, his

[Tom]

like, again, we

[Kate]

feel like we've tried the whole way

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

through to do the right thing here this entire time. Bricks and minifigs, they say they've been trying to do the right thing the whole time. And it's literally just been as easy as give the dude his Legos back.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, right.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

They're just sitting in an empty store right now that you guys aren't even planning on selling them anymore. It'd be so easy for you just to give them back, but that would fix this whole thing. But they didn't.

[Kate]

So. Wait, wait.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

So it's because they've caused so much, like, punitive damage now, like, so.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. At any rate, I think that's the end of the. The body, the footage. So go watch this whole video if you want the whole scoop on it. But I'm just continually stunned by just the brazen scenes, like, full interviews.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

I just posted it.

[Ethan Klein]

We're just witnessing, like, crimes, felonies. So the demon. Amen. Hard at work, eh?

[Kate]

Amen. Amen.

[Ethan Klein]

Amen, Amen.

[Kate]

Amen.

[Ethan Klein]

This series is going so crazy for him. Amen. Two million and twenty hours.

[Kate]

Wow. Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

The other one, 6.7 million, two weeks. Damn good for him.

[Tom]

I mean, it's been quite the saga. Gotta hand it to him.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, that one got more than his original one. His original one is a 6.7. Then his newest one is at 6.7. After two weeks, this one might even pass it. Man, they're fucked anyway. Go get him, Ben. We're all on your side.

[Tom]

By go get them, you mean get the Legos. Not like go assault and threaten.

[Ethan Klein]

I meant that. Yeah.

[Kate]

He is the second best Batman.

[Ethan Klein]

I meant to, you know. By any means necessary, Dan.

[Tom]

No, no.

[Ethan Klein]

Make a real vigilante take. Hey, Ben. Take the law into your hands.

[Kate]

That's what I'll.

[Ethan Klein]

So anyway, that's what's going on with Reckless Ben. That's right. Yeah, it was.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was lonely.

[Ethan Klein]

This is my favorite part. I'll just play it again because it's so damn good.

[Jeff]

This guy's a sociopath. And so we are very afraid for our staff. And these guys coming in, they've threatened people before. They don't care about the law.

[Ethan Klein]

Right.

[Jeff]

And that's. That's what makes us very scared, is because again, like, do I. And I'm kind of asking a serious question, in your opinion, would you go get a shotgun and bring it in the store?

[Ethan Klein]

That's crazy.

[Tamara]

Come and get some.

[Kate]

Come and get some.

[Ethan Klein]

So that's what's going on in Mardagh. And now we got. Let's do our drum salute challenge. Ah, right. And then we'll move on to the story.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

More demons.

[Ethan Klein]

Excited about more demons.

[Tom]

Yes. This is a very demon themed episode, actually.

[Kate]

What does it mean to have a boner?

[Ethan Klein]

Well, that and more coming up on H3 puck.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

So basically, yeah, you kind of touched on this in the beginning. I'll set it up again.

[Tom]

Sure.

[Ethan Klein]

Somebody suggested on the subreddit that we. That we reenact these incredible drum major salutes. So these are the heads of the bands. And I didn't know this, but they have their own special little salute flair.

[Tamara]

This one time at band camp.

[Ethan Klein]

That they. That they do.

[Tamara]

Wait, are they the heads of the bands or are they just the drum majors?

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know.

[Tamara]

I guess. I don't know what a drum major is. They're in high school.

[Ethan Klein]

It seems like they're leading whatever is going on here. No.

[Tom]

Yeah, they conduct the band from the sideline.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. I mean, this is like an ice skating outfit.

[Tom]

Yeah. A lot of them are pretty, shall we say, flamboyant.

[Ethan Klein]

There's no rules. Right. You could just do whatever you want.

[Tom]

Well, it's not that there's no rules. But I mean, they all match and are on. You know, sometimes it's thematic. Like, if they're playing music from. I don't know, they're playing, like, Pirates of the Caribbean music, then they'll all have pirate outfits.

[Ethan Klein]

Lots of interesting.

[Tamara]

Wait, is there only one of them, Dan, or. There's multiple.

[Tom]

There's multiple, but there's, like, one main one, which is the one that. That conducts from the sideline and who

[Tamara]

chooses that person in.

[Tom]

It's like a. There's, like, tryouts. I'm pretty sure it's, like. It's, like, fiercely competitive. I'm sure.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Tom]

To be clear, I didn't participate in this level of it. This is like the. This is the major leagues of. Of marching bands. Yeah, I was. I was just at the high school level. I didn't even do college, so this

[Ethan Klein]

is the big time, so. And you could see how seriously they take it.

[Tom]

So you just described yourself. I did, actually.

[Ethan Klein]

So let's. Let's see what they've got then. We're gonna try to do our own and see kind of who.

[Tom]

Yeah, well, we'll figure it out. We got a lot of examples, and we also. Both Tamara and I were participants in this in our youth, and we. We have some. Some photos and some videos of that time to share with you to prove our credentials.

[Ethan Klein]

So here it is. What was that? I just.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

What is that?

[Tamara]

That's beautiful.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, at first, it's a headache.

[Hila]

Yes, it's the headache move.

[Ethan Klein]

That part's crazy to me.

[Tom]

A pretty simple one overall, you know, just arm out, salute, and. Oh, my God, my migraine.

[Ethan Klein]

Well. Oh, is it? They always end with, like, a really flamboyant flare. They keep it, like, military, you know,

[Tom]

keep it real tight, and it's just very kind of straightforward. But then I'm getting really elaborate with it.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

By the balls. We said that yesterday or the day before.

[Tamara]

But you heard me say it.

[Ethan Klein]

No, I said it.

[Tamara]

I had said it. Apparently, loved had said it.

[Ethan Klein]

That's true.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Tamara]

But it was only funny when Ethan said it.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tom]

I don't know about that.

[Tamara]

Well, you only laughed when Ethan said it, Dan.

[Tom]

No, I laughed when love said it. I just didn't laugh when you said it.

[Tamara]

Because I'm a woman.

[Ethan Klein]

Bad delivery.

[Tom]

Well, it's just. Yeah, I didn't want to say it, but Ethan is on this.

[Tamara]

I honestly. I understand. According to Dan, it was something Indian.

[Tom]

I didn't say that.

[Tamara]

Yes, you did.

[Ethan Klein]

But anyway. Yeah, he is. Finishes really theatrically. That's what that is. This motherfucker showed up like Zorro.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

What is this telling you? Why does this fit? He looks like Puss in Boots.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah, he does.

[Ethan Klein]

What's going on here? Looks like no coincidence, dude.

[Hila]

Right?

[Kate]

No such thing as a. Oh, you're right. He does.

[Ethan Klein]

No such thing as a.

[Kate]

There's no such thing as perfect.

[Ethan Klein]

Major drum salute. Oh, no, wait. Is that a. Oh, there's lots of ladies. We've noticed in the.

[Tom]

I have noticed, and I gotta say that is. That's a very progressive development from my youth, because. Not saying that is fair, but in the early 2000s, when I was doing this, it was all dudes, not in the band, but, like, doing the drum, majoring.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen.

[Tom]

But you think by the 2000s, we'd be over that.

[Ethan Klein]

But women in drums.

[Tom]

We still had a long way to. Women in drums. Women play drums.

[Ethan Klein]

Women are taking over. They're all in college. They're in stem now they're in our drums.

[Kate]

It's getting out of control.

[Hila]

We're taking over.

[Ethan Klein]

All I need is for you ladies to stay out of my video games.

[Hila]

We're taking over and men need to be scared.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Be really fucking insecure about it.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, I just do not want to see you in EverQuest.

[Tom]

Oh, God.

[Ethan Klein]

No girls allowed. No fucking girls allowed.

[Tom]

Not allowed.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, I wanted to tell you guys that I'm. My new obsession is Everquest Legends. It didn't come out yet, but I'm already obsessed with it.

[Tamara]

I thought it was cow world.

[Ethan Klein]

That's just. That's tiding him over such a difference.

[Tamara]

I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, why would you even.

[Tamara]

I don't know. Whatever. What is that?

[Kate]

Yeah, we know you don't know. Whatever question.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's keep it that way, toots.

[Kate]

We know you don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

It's like a. It's like a old school.

[Tom]

It's like World of Warcraft, but even older.

[Tamara]

It's kicking you out of the boys. That game chat.

[Tom]

Whoa. Are you an administrator of that?

[Tamara]

I made that chat.

[Tom]

Oh, no.

[Ethan Klein]

There's a reason I don't participate in it.

[Tamara]

You did. You were messaging in it recently.

[Ethan Klein]

I wasn't.

[Tamara]

Yes, you were.

[Kate]

You were when I sent the EverQuest.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

EverQuest legends spiked my interest. But I asked. I said, nate, remove it before the girl. See, it's like the first big mmo. Change the whole game.

[Tom]

Change the game.

[Tamara]

I don't know what MMO means.

[Ethan Klein]

It's like a massively multiplayer online game. Like. Like World of Warcraft. More. More popularly Known as. And so it was such a freaking great game. Everyone that played it as like, like constant reminiscing about it because it's just such a magical time.

[Tom]

It's goaded.

[Ethan Klein]

It is.

[Tom]

It's goaded with the sauce tomorrow.

[Ethan Klein]

It is and it is. And so the company, they've. They've heard the call and they're relaunching the game in its original form in about a week. The beta has been open for a month and I tried it and everybody's tried it and they, they made the game. It's fully original but they made all these little changes so you can basically quality of life and you can play three classes in one and the drops are better and it's just they, they

[Kate]

basically made it so every person who played it who's now older has time to play.

[Ethan Klein]

It's. But I love the changes they made. It's so fun. And they have difficulty levels. So even if you do want to do end game raiding, you can still do it. You can. Solo farm Nagafin. Damn.

[Tom]

That's sick.

[Ethan Klein]

That's fucking sick, bro.

[Tom]

Y' all don't even know how sick that is. That's so sick, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm gonna get so many cloaks of flame, bro.

[Kate]

Boner.

[Ethan Klein]

So I hope anyway. No, but I hope everybody actually looks into Everquest Legends because it's going to be such a great gaming experience. I'm so excited.

[Kate]

You make me want to try it.

[Ethan Klein]

You should. It's going to be so fun.

[Zach Bernstein]

Why are they not sponsoring the show? What is the Everlast. What is it?

[Ethan Klein]

Everquest Legends.

[Tom]

You want to get Legends to sponsor the show? That'd be sick.

[Ethan Klein]

Why not look into it, Tom. Thank you.

[Tom]

Did you reserve. Did you get a name?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Tom]

What'd you get?

[Ethan Klein]

Slow.

[Tom]

Right? Slow.

[Ethan Klein]

Did you get one?

[Tom]

I got one last night.

[Ethan Klein]

What'd you get?

[Tom]

I got Bobo.

[Ethan Klein]

Bobo's good. Bobo. B O, B O.

[Tom]

B O, B O.

[Ethan Klein]

That's very good. Yeah. We were talking yesterday. In Everquest you need a minimum of four letters. And back in the day, whenever someone had like a four letter name, that was some OG status shit because you, you can't have more than one name on the server, so. And everybody knows each other kind of, you know. So on the, you know, on the test server, my name was Fart and I thought I wanted that name.

[Tom]

That would have been so strong.

[Ethan Klein]

The minute I logged in, I was getting DMs from people telling me how great my name was. Seriously.

[Hila]

So you can't keep it.

[Tom]

Well, so Somebody else must have snatched it first.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah. But what I'm hoping is that.

[Tamara]

So you reserved the name slow.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Tamara]

You chose. You typed that in yourself?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Is that a problem?

[Tamara]

No. Was that the first thing you tried?

[Ethan Klein]

Well, the first thing I tried was

[Tamara]

fart and it was gone.

[Ethan Klein]

And then the second thing I tried because I place this giant ogre and they are like really doofy and dumb. And so I said slow and it worked.

[Tamara]

So slow was your second one. Did you have a third one ready?

[Ethan Klein]

I tried a bunch. There's other ones that I tried. Like Toad I was able to get.

[Tom]

But you should have sat on that. That's a good one.

[Ethan Klein]

Toad still available. Someone wants Toad is cute.

[Tamara]

And Dan, you. You went for Bobo.

[Tom]

Yeah, I tried a bunch of things. It.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not.

[Tom]

I couldn't get. I couldn't get anything that I actually wanted. So I just started trying like funny sounding ones.

[Ethan Klein]

What did you, Bobo, what you want?

[Tom]

Huh?

[Tamara]

What's one that you really, really wanted?

[Tom]

I would have loved Toad, if I'm being honest.

[Ethan Klein]

Was Toad taken?

[Tom]

It was taken. I thought about you for some reason. I thought you were.

[Ethan Klein]

I gave it up. I gave it up.

[Tom]

Toad would have been sick.

[Ethan Klein]

But anyway, what we're talking about is if you pre order the game, you can, you can reserve a name. So you can, you can put dibs on that name and you'll be the only one. I also was playing with some other ones like Kimo Sabe or Baba Ganoush. They're both available. But ultimately I needed the old school credentials of the four letter name. So I'm thinking, and then at level 20, you get a surname. So sick. So I'm thinking, Slow poke.

[Tom]

Somebody in the chat. Somebody in the chat is coming at me. They said, how about bald?

[Hila]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Tom]

Are you telling me to go up bald man? Are you telling me to go up right now? Because I got bad news, buddy. There's two bears at your front door, Right?

[Ethan Klein]

Check your window. Two female bears coming to slaughter your family.

[Hila]

How about these?

[Kate]

Oh, these would be so good.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, Yo, I need to go.

[Tom]

We got to end the show.

[Ethan Klein]

Can I do. Oh, I need to log in to get it.

[Hila]

Definitely.

[Ethan Klein]

No, I gotta go home.

[Hila]

Sorry.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm going.

[Kate]

Hila.

[Ethan Klein]

Where were you yesterday? I told you to come to the basement, Bro. I need to go home and preserve these. Oh, my God. I mean, it might be taken. I don't know.

[Kate]

I feel like it's got to be.

[Tom]

Somebody took it. Like it's such a good one. That somebody must have thought about it.

[Ethan Klein]

Who's got the. I'm so sad I didn't get Fart, though. I feel like that's just such a fart would have been. Well, I'm hoping is that. Because there's going to be several servers and you can have one name per server. Right. It's not like a global thing, so hopefully maybe you can shop around for. Exactly, exactly. Shop around. See where I can nail it. But I like slow. It's not bad. It's not. It's not perfect. I'll be honest.

[Hila]

Not perfect.

[Ethan Klein]

Fart is my dream name.

[Hila]

It's so on brand. Whenever Ethan plays, it's always like, poop Fart.

[Tom]

Poop Fest.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, Poop Feast. I should have.

[Tom]

Yeah, should have reserved Poop Feast. It's too long, though.

[Ethan Klein]

No. Poop Feast is so funny. That is so funny. Poop Feast. Feast on poop. That's so weird.

[Tamara]

What's my whisker that you gave me, Tom? I named it Shit Feaster.

[Ethan Klein]

No, that's not as funny. It's not even close.

[Kate]

No.

[Zach Bernstein]

Why'd you shoot her down so quick?

[Ethan Klein]

No, because Poop Feast.

[Tom]

Not even close.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, first of all, no, it's not. And I'll tell you why. Is vulgar.

[Tamara]

Right.

[Zach Bernstein]

Poop is funny.

[Hila]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

Right, yeah. Poop is more innocent Eater. It sounds like

[Tamara]

Feaster.

[Ethan Klein]

But anyway, the Original one is Feast 420. Right, right, right, right. That's the original.

[Hila]

So is like way worse than poop.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not as funny as Poop Feaster, in my opinion, because it's. It's just more vulgar. It sounds serious.

[Hila]

It sounds more vulgar, though.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, of course.

[Kate]

Poop Feast sounds the same.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Poop Feast sounds way silly. Shit Feast is like. You want to eat shit. Probably.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Zach Bernstein]

Sounds like it's going to get.

[Ethan Klein]

Sounds serious. Yeah.

[Tamara]

He sounds passionate.

[Ethan Klein]

Passionate. Well, that's not. That's not a passion I want.

[Tamara]

My wife is passionate.

[Ethan Klein]

What's a whisker?

[Tamara]

One of your sponsors, bro.

[Zach Bernstein]

One of our great sponsors. The kitty litter.

[Kate]

Oh, okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, you name. I didn't know you name it.

[Tom]

She was saying, yeah, in the attic.

[Hila]

You can.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, that makes sense because it is literally feasting on. On poop. So that makes sense. I thought you were talking about like a Tamagotchi or something. Right?

[Tom]

It's not shaped like a Tamagotchi.

[Kate]

It's kind of cool.

[Ethan Klein]

Big egg, women like.

[Tamara]

It'll say, ship Feaster is full.

[Hila]

That's funny.

[Kate]

Full of poop.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Kate]

And this one is eating the Poop all over the place.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, okay, that's fine.

[Kate]

And then they eat it and the other person is poo.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Pooing.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, man. Yeah. I don't know. Slow. It's okay, but it's just not. I keep going down there and trying other names. Last night I was trying.

[Tom]

Yeah, it took me a while. I was sitting for like 20 minutes trying different combinations.

[Ethan Klein]

And well, you know, when Bobo went

[Tom]

through, I was like, you know what? Bobo?

[Ethan Klein]

Bobo's not bad. Bobo.

[Tom]

Except eating.

[Ethan Klein]

Because when I started original EverQuest back in like 1999 or whatever, I was far from the first person to be playing that game. And so sitting down there and trying to figure out a name. That's good. It's so hard.

[Tom]

Yeah. Everybody snatch.

[Ethan Klein]

And right now, you know, my name back then was Bam Nation, which is made up. It's good for made up name.

[Hila]

Bricks and Minifig Nation.

[Kate]

What the hell?

[Tamara]

That's very weird.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

What? Bam Nation?

[Tamara]

Yeah, they were supporting bricks and minifigs

[Tom]

all the way back then.

[Ethan Klein]

Bam Nation.

[Hila]

Yes. Bam.

[Ethan Klein]

No, it was spelled. It was spelled with an N. No, it's not related to that. Hilo. It's not related to that.

[Tom]

They were making. They were making a joke.

[Ethan Klein]

I know, but still. Don't make fun of my old character. It's meaningful to me.

[Zach Bernstein]

You're upset you don't have Ds. That'd be so good.

[Ethan Klein]

Because you know what your surname would be.

[Kate]

Of course.

[Hila]

Come on, you don't even need to say it.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

You know, you don't even need it. You can. You don't have to get a surname.

[Zach Bernstein]

I think it's funny if you leave it off these.

[Ethan Klein]

What?

[Hila]

Exactly.

[Ethan Klein]

But anyway, I just recommend people go check it out because I think it's going to be such a great gaming experience.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

I'm so.

[Ethan Klein]

I haven't been excited like this about a video game in so long and it sounds really fun. Really, really fun. And the thing, EverQuest was like known for being such a hardcore game.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Like corpse runs. You can lose all your items. If you don't get your corpse fast enough, you. You lose a ton of experience when you die.

[Hila]

But they're gonna start being like a gaming raging.

[Ethan Klein]

No, they're getting rid of all that is my point. And so they made it much more

[Tom]

palatable for modern day people in their early 40s who have a lot of things to do.

[Ethan Klein]

But. But it's so fun because you can do all these endgame raids that you always wanted to do, like just with your cool ass. 3 class fighter.

[Tom]

Cool as, man.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, cool as. Me and Dan are gonna be on the same server, so look alive, people.

[Tom]

Look alive.

[Ethan Klein]

Bobo and slow.

[Tom]

Not the Bobo.

[Kate]

I like Dan.

[Tom]

Dan's cool.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, Chill.

[Tom]

All right. Yeah, we got way, way, way, way, way.

[Ethan Klein]

I wanted. I needed to shout out EverQuest Legend.

[Hila]

Can you put in your order, please?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, we're ordering.

[Tom]

Oh, boy. We were about to get back on track.

[Ethan Klein]

I can't eat this place, dude. So over this place.

[Zach Bernstein]

Damn, it's love.

[Ethan Klein]

Let me look at the menu. I. This suit is kind of a problem for me.

[Tom]

Which.

[Ethan Klein]

The yellow suit?

[Tom]

Show the screen, please. Nathan.

[Ethan Klein]

Nathan, wake up. What do you think?

[Kate]

I thought you said yellow soup.

[Ethan Klein]

See, yellow soup on my desk.

[Kate]

I was like, I can't show your. Where you're ordering from. Oh, I've been working.

[Ethan Klein]

This is the spirit of Atlanta, apparently. A little scoop at the end there.

[Tom]

She was so proud of herself there. She thought she ate.

[Ethan Klein]

They really. It's, like, subtle, it's understated, but it's powerful. They really put their whole spirit.

[Hila]

So it's only one person that gets to do this.

[Tom]

It's only one person.

[Ethan Klein]

The leader.

[Tamara]

Boring.

[Tom]

Boring. You see that?

[Ethan Klein]

Like, what is. Like, you could just make this up on the spot. I don't know why they don't put more effort into it. Like, what the fuck?

[Hila]

Because some people just want to play music.

[Ethan Klein]

No, they would have got rid of the tradition if it didn't matter.

[Tom]

It's true. Traditions are what bind us in society.

[Ethan Klein]

This guy's in.

[Hila]

Wow.

[Tom]

Oh, yeah. Okay. He had some pizzazz.

[Kate]

Boom, boom.

[Ethan Klein]

Why do you smile that, though? I like how serious he's being and, like, formal. But then he cracks his smile.

[Tamara]

I don't know. Yo,

[Tom]

Aura, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

What are these outfits? Where are they? Who is making this? Dude, it's like giving. Like Superman at a formal event. Superman at a wedding. The. Is this.

[Kate]

Oh, damn.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Tom]

Oh, and look at that intensity, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. Ferengi swag or.

[Tom]

Oh, there's another one later. Okay, so that was the first compilation. I found a more in depth one. Although you might want to also show me and Tamara's. So let's look at the experience in here, just so you can. Here's Dan and see that we're credible on this topic.

[Ethan Klein]

Take a look, Hunter.

[Tom]

I really struggled to find some old photos, but I did manage to find some group photos.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's see where you at?

[Tom]

So I am all the way in the back with the low brass. Of course you are. And you'll notice that I am wearing a white beret.

[Hila]

Yes.

[Tom]

Instead of a green beret.

[Tamara]

Wow.

[Tom]

And that is because I was one of the drum majors.

[Hila]

Oh my God. Wow.

[Tom]

I like Dan. Dan's cool. Thank you. Thank you, brother.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at all these guys with blue hats, right?

[Tom]

Green. Green.

[Ethan Klein]

That is not green in any universe.

[Tom]

Well, it's just.

[Hila]

It's just a photo.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, hold on.

[Tamara]

Do you have a special one?

[Tom]

Our school color was green, so we have a green uniform.

[Ethan Klein]

They had to. They gave him padding and special stuff when he was going up and down stairs to be extra careful with them.

[Tom]

Now if you zoom out.

[Ethan Klein]

Special. Special.

[Tom]

You'll see the full scope of it. And you see all of the ladies in the middle there. That's the color guard. So that's what Tamara did. So that's kind of the other component of this.

[Ethan Klein]

You have to be. Wait, hold on. This is very like classes or gender is. No dudes are allowed in the color guard. What's going on here?

[Tom]

Well, their kind of captain or coach is the gentleman all the way on the right.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

This guy.

[Tom]

Yeah. And so just one dude. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Leading a bunch of ladies.

[Tom]

I mean, in the professional one, you'll see it's mixed gender with the color guard. But yeah, it's true. We had all ladies in our color guard.

[Ethan Klein]

Y' all are so serious about it. Fuck with that.

[Tom]

Yeah, I included. We took a silly photo too. That's very fun.

[Ethan Klein]

Is that below?

[Tom]

Yeah, it's down below.

[Ethan Klein]

Silly.

[Kate]

Oh.

[Tom]

So actually. Right. And then this one is actually from when I was a freshman, before I was a.

[Ethan Klein]

This one is pretty bad. Librez.

[Tom]

Yeah, it's pretty low res.

[Ethan Klein]

Let me try to find you.

[Tom]

But you see, I was just a plebe with a non white beret in this one.

[Ethan Klein]

So where are you?

[Tom]

Well, if you know what instrument I play, that should. Should give you a big clue.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Tom]

At the top there I am.

[Ethan Klein]

This.

[Tom]

Yeah, that's me. That's me.

[Zach Bernstein]

Who's homie in the white shirt?

[Tom]

He's like 14 or something there.

[Tamara]

This guy, he's got some big thoughts going on.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm getting bad, bad vibes.

[Tom]

I don't. I don't remember his name. He was just like an assistant coach or something.

[Kate]

Our.

[Tom]

Our main guy.

[Ethan Klein]

There's a pretty good chance this guy's dead now.

[Tom]

I wouldn't say that.

[Kate]

He wasn't that old.

[Tom]

I mean, I guess you could say that. About anybody.

[Hila]

Anybody could be dead.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, what's he pushing here? Maybe 40?

[Tom]

I honestly don't remember. I don't remember that guy at all. Really? Yeah, well, he's dead, so.

[Kate]

Scaring the hoes.

[Tom]

Yeah. You're doing a Kid Cudi right now, I'm sure.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Yeah.

[Tom]

If you could zoom out again. Is he in this one? He was in the top one. If you scroll back to the top, the. The first photo we were looking at.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Tom]

The guy on the left, the bottom left, that was our music teacher. And this guy is actually a legend

[Ethan Klein]

as Dr. K. He's probably dead, too.

[Tom]

No, he's still alive. I'm friends with him on Facebook.

[Ethan Klein]

Is he doing okay? Is he helping?

[Kate]

He's doing good.

[Tom]

He's like. He's running, like, a college music program or something now. Yeah, he's killing it.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm worried about him.

[Tom]

Yeah, no, he's. He's doing well. He's doing well.

[Ethan Klein]

Shout out to Dr. K. What's so legendary about him?

[Tom]

He just was a. He had a very big personality, I guess you could say.

[Ethan Klein]

Definitely not a big heart. That's not healthy.

[Tom]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[Ethan Klein]

His personality was bigger than his heart. Oh, this is silly one.

[Tom]

Oh, yeah, we're being real silly there. Yeah, we're being super silly.

[Hila]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Let me see. Where's Dan being silly?

[Tom]

Oh, right, right. We're. We're all punching the other drum major because he was like. He was the one that was in charge of, like, disciplining everybody, so everybody kind of hated him. But I. I was buddies with him, obviously.

[Hila]

This stuff looks so official.

[Tom]

It was very official. It was very. It's so wild. I haven't thought about this shit in so long. And because we were doing the segment, like, I was looking at these pictures and stuff, and, I mean, I'm sure many of you have the same kind of experience. You know, I'm. I'm pushing 40 now, so this was a long time ago that I was in high school. And thinking back on it, it's like there's these periods in your life, especially, you know, in school, where you do stuff like this. And at the time, it's such a big part of your life. Like, this shit was, like, really important to me at the time, and it just feels like a different person did it at this point. It was, like, so long ago. Like, I barely remember it.

[Ethan Klein]

That's high school, like, nutshell. And middle school, too. I always tell people, like, this thing in 10 years.

[Tom]

Yeah, I mean, you. You were into water polo in high school. And that. Does that not feel like imagining you playing water polo now? Just seems right.

[Ethan Klein]

So for me it's like the worrying about the grades and the AP tests and the extracurricular activity. The. What was I doing? The Rotary Club.

[Tom]

You're in the Rotary Club.

[Ethan Klein]

I was just trying to.

[Tom]

You're dork, dude.

[Ethan Klein]

I was just trying to do college. You know what I mean?

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Tom]

We were on different paths.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll be honest. The girl I like did it. I would have never done that.

[Tom]

There it is. I almost got sucked into. I almost got sucked into academic decathlon because of that.

[Ethan Klein]

There you go. But you, you remain strong.

[Tom]

Yeah. And then we ended up breaking up. So I was really glad.

[Tamara]

Part of why I joined my thing is because my boyfriend at the time was in band.

[Tom]

Ah, okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, that's so romantic.

[Tom]

So we're almost done. I have one more photo of me. It's the only close up photo that I could find of me.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, hold on. Oh.

[Hila]

I never went to schools that had anything like this, by the way.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes.

[Zach Bernstein]

My school wasn't like this either.

[Kate]

We didn't have bands have activities.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, there. How did I miss this?

[Tom]

So that was from like a special thing when I marched in the Rose Parade.

[Hila]

So iconic.

[Ethan Klein]

Still those beautiful blues. Look at him shining through.

[Tom]

I think I. I think this is me in the ninth grade. I'm pretty sure.

[Zach Bernstein]

Maybe.

[Tom]

Maybe tenth. I think it was ninth.

[Hila]

How is every picture from your childhood so iconic?

[Tom]

I mean, it just looks dorky as

[Hila]

to me, but no, I love Big Los Angeles. And the whole outfit is so badass.

[Zach Bernstein]

Clippers, vibes.

[Ethan Klein]

That's a sick photo.

[Tom]

So this was called the All City Band. And it was basically all of the bands from all of high schools in LA combined together to march in the Rose Parade.

[Ethan Klein]

Is that cool?

[Tom]

It was hard. That is long.

[Ethan Klein]

Sounds stressful.

[Tom]

The Rose Parade is really long. I don't know when you watch it on tv and if people aren't familiar with the Rose Parade, it's a like a New Year's Day parade that happens here in Los Angeles.

[Zach Bernstein]

I live in Pasadena.

[Tom]

Oh. So you know how big of a

[Kate]

deal I would get out of town

[Zach Bernstein]

that day because it would be so crazy.

[Tom]

It's a. It's a nightmare when it happens. And when you watch it on tv, they just have the camera set up at like the beginning of the parade route. So it's just like, oh, yeah, that's cool. That goes on for like 10 more miles.

[Zach Bernstein]

All the way down.

[Tom]

It's so long. And it was exhausting.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Tom]

And so I only did it one time because it was. Because it was so hard. I was like that.

[Ethan Klein]

So wait, tell me, what. What. What did your boyfriend play?

[Tom]

Oh, so here's tomorrow.

[Tamara]

He played the trumpet.

[Hila]

This is.

[Tamara]

And so this is me.

[Ethan Klein]

This is so funny.

[Tamara]

This is me learning a routine to then show the other girls that were about to. To try out.

[Hila]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

The hip. This hip move in the beginning is so funny.

[Tamara]

Hold on.

[Ethan Klein]

Go back.

[Hila]

Wait. That's cool.

[Ethan Klein]

This one right here. Hey.

[Hila]

Yeah, that one. Hey.

[Ethan Klein]

It's such a. Hey, girl. Ready?

[Tom]

Hey.

[Hila]

Okay, this part gets sick with the flat. Yeah. Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at those feet marching. She's marching. She's swinging.

[Kate]

Cheese cadet Kelly.

[Hila]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

What's that? Lena, your mic is quiet.

[Kate]

Oh, I said cheese cadet Kelly.

[Hila]

I don't know if it's.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah, they did do that.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Hila]

I don't know if you saw that movie with Hillary Duff. No.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Hila]

Did you.

[Ethan Klein]

Tomorrow?

[Tamara]

No.

[Hila]

Oh, my God.

[Kate]

Oh, my God.

[Tamara]

But thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at that flag swinging technique. Did you forget?

[Tamara]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

If you could tell she forgot something.

[Hila]

You're making it look really effortless.

[Tamara]

Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Here, look. She forgets and then she forgets to turn. Point deducted. Your head moved before your body.

[Zach Bernstein]

What are you, the Russian judge?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah. Taking points off. Wait, is there another person next to you doing it?

[Tamara]

Yes, an actor. Actually. Behind me right now in that shot is my sister Leora, who was trying out that year. She took my left.

[Hila]

You can see her.

[Tamara]

She's like. To the left.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, that and she was doing the same thing.

[Tamara]

She was trying out.

[Kate]

Hi, sisters.

[Tom]

I actually failed. I failed to point it out, but my sister did the color guard. She was in one of those photos, actually.

[Kate]

Hi, sisters.

[Ethan Klein]

Should I go back?

[Tom]

Yeah, it's fine.

[Ethan Klein]

Still haven't met your s. Have I met your sister?

[Hila]

I think one time.

[Tom]

I think you met her at one of the live shows. Briefly.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah,

[Hila]

not enough.

[Ethan Klein]

Not enough.

[Kate]

Fair.

[Tamara]

All right,

[Ethan Klein]

So did you make the cut with this performance?

[Tamara]

I was. Yes. I was teaching the girls that were girls.

[Hila]

Ethan.

[Tamara]

I was learning the routine that we were about to show.

[Ethan Klein]

Who filmed this?

[Tamara]

Another one of the. We were called Lionette.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, there's more here.

[Tamara]

So, yeah, so I want to show. So this is the outfit.

[Ethan Klein]

Hold on.

[Tamara]

I heard my friends faces because I don't know if they want to say, yeah, it's fair. So we wore these white boots.

[Tom]

That's very color guard.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Hila]

Yeah. Wow.

[Tamara]

And then that's me with my boyfriend, my first boyfriend, Michael.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow.

[Tom]

And he roped you into this, huh?

[Tamara]

Yes, dude.

[Ethan Klein]

The fucking Torah scroll vibes are crazy.

[Hila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tamara]

He was very Jewish.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, he was.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at these two Torah school lovebirds.

[Hila]

Why? What do you mean by that?

[Ethan Klein]

Just, I don't know, the whole aesthetic.

[Tamara]

Sorry, how do you mean?

[Hila]

There's nothing to do with.

[Kate]

You don't see his face.

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, no, no, not him. I'm talking about tomorrow.

[Hila]

What do you mean?

[Tamara]

What's. What.

[Hila]

Why just the girl.

[Ethan Klein]

It is what it is, dude. I feel like I've met. I met this girl at Torah school. I'm sure.

[Tamara]

Listen, I can't. Honestly, it's. It's shocking to me that I did this because I have a problem with showing spirit. Makes me uncomfortable, so. I can't believe I did this.

[Tom]

I was not, like, a school spirit kid at all.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Hila]

What is spirit? Why are you guys talking?

[Tom]

Well, just, like, getting into, like, the schools. Like.

[Hila]

Like being involved.

[Tom]

Being involved, you know, cheering for the sports teams and.

[Tamara]

Yeah. I would never in my life.

[Tom]

Right.

[Hila]

Yeah. Well, you did.

[Tamara]

No, so. No, I did.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, you did.

[Tamara]

No, I didn't cheer. I didn't like, with my voice.

[Ethan Klein]

You just. As long as you were quiet, it was fine. Yeah, this flag waved, but your heart remains still. There it is.

[Tom]

So, yeah, we. We got.

[Tamara]

Oh, yeah, this is a great. This is from the cloth and the cotton.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, hold on. This is.

[Hila]

This is fantastic.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't want to hear what the teacher's saying.

[Tamara]

Yeah, you gotta hear what she said.

[Ethan Klein]

She's. She's probably dead.

[Tamara]

No.

[Tom]

What is this?

[Kate]

Where are you going?

[Ethan Klein]

I know. It's just been a long time

[Tamara]

in the shower.

[Ethan Klein]

Would you stop? I want to hear what this teacher is saying.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Tamara]

Not put a chair in the shower.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't put a chair in the shower.

[Tom]

Don't put a chair.

[Tamara]

The cloth and the cotton seat.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't put the chair in the shower with the clock and the cotton seats and the other. What does that mean?

[Kate]

Look.

[Tamara]

Look at.

[Tom]

Well, because they put a chair in the shower.

[Hila]

Dude.

[Tom]

There it is.

[Kate]

What? That's outrageous.

[Ethan Klein]

You would do that. It's because one of.

[Tamara]

So this is at band camp, and one of my roommates was handicapped. Oh,

[Tom]

you went to band camp?

[Tamara]

I had to.

[Tom]

What do you mean? Yeah, at band camp.

[Tamara]

What do you mean?

[Tom]

Was it, like, it was required? Well, define band camp. Like, what does that mean?

[Tamara]

It means, like, it was like a sleep away. Yeah, it was like, for, like, three days. Yeah.

[Zach Bernstein]

Was it a Jewish band camp?

[Tom]

See, we didn't do anything like that for school.

[Tamara]

And you had to do it if you were in band.

[Ethan Klein]

You had to.

[Tamara]

Yeah. Oh, in this one time, so. So one of my roommates, like, she was. Yes, she was just handicapped and so. That's so funny. We needed to put her a seat in the shower and so we just put that in there. And then these dumb asses. Sorry, they were not nice ladies. And they came in there. Do not put a chair in the shower that has a cloth and that can't see. And then the other lady, who I can't stand was like, why would you. I'm like, why do you think, Stacy? Why do you think?

[Ethan Klein]

Well, I'm on your side now. Knowing that it was actually for a handicap.

[Hila]

Yeah, it's actually for a hand.

[Tamara]

There weren't other chairs and I. Oh, yeah, yeah. But yeah, it was soaking wet. It was disgusting. In this one time.

[Hila]

I see.

[Tamara]

So.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, I mean, she has a point. You did. There wasn't a chair without cloth on.

[Tamara]

Wasn't. No, no.

[Ethan Klein]

Only cloth.

[Hila]

That is a little psycho.

[Zach Bernstein]

What kind of handicap are we talking here?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, what do they look like?

[Tamara]

She was like in a full brace. Like she couldn't. She couldn't stand up on her own.

[Ethan Klein]

Seriously?

[Tamara]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Bernstein]

Why was she in the flag thing then?

[Hila]

Why would you.

[Tamara]

It was like a last minute unexpected. She still need to be there. They still made her go,

[Ethan Klein]

Do not put a chair. You gotta grab it.

[Tamara]

And then listen to the end.

[Ethan Klein]

The lady put a chair in the

[Tamara]

shower with a cloth. Cloth.

[Ethan Klein]

And the cloth. And the cloth.

[Tamara]

The cotton seat.

[Ethan Klein]

Cotton seats.

[Kate]

Why would you.

[Ethan Klein]

Why would you do that?

[Kate]

Why would you.

[Zach Bernstein]

Is that woman Jewish?

[Tamara]

Unfortunately, that last lady. Yeah.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yeah, I could tell you.

[Tamara]

I think actually, I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

Just say no.

[Tamara]

I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

For our people.

[Tamara]

No, I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, that's what that is. Thank you for sharing, Dan and Tamara. It was fun.

[Tom]

Yeah, you got it.

[Tamara]

But I only did it for like. Did you do it all four years, Dan?

[Tom]

I was gonna say yes, but I think I. I think I actually only did do it 10th through senior year. So I think I did it for three years because again, I, I. Yeah, I'm remembering now. I was. I thought I was too cool for it in ninth grade, which was stupid. I definitely was not too cool for it, but like, I was going to a new high school that didn't have, like. It was different than the one that most of my middle school friends went to. So I was kind of a loner and I. I felt like I was Be setting myself up to be like a dork ass if I joined the marching band right away. And pretty quickly I realized, like, oh, that's. That is where I'll find friends. Like, those are my people. So. So then, yeah, I. I ended up doing it the whole rest of the time.

[Ethan Klein]

Good for you.

[Tom]

Yeah, good for you.

[Ethan Klein]

Good for you. Love that. About.

[Tamara]

Oh, and this one time at band camp.

[Ethan Klein]

Mm. So that's what's going on. Here's some other examples just to get us all in the mood before we perform for you all. And then get into some demonology.

[Tamara]

And. You need to put your outfit on, Ethan.

[Ethan Klein]

I will.

[Hila]

Don't worry.

[Ethan Klein]

You think I'm gonna go half ass on this?

[Kate]

Mm.

[Ethan Klein]

This is the Boa Grand Nationals. Drum major, part three.

[Kate]

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

[Ethan Klein]

Green on.

[Tom]

We skipped something.

[Ethan Klein]

We did.

[Tom]

This is. This is a better link. Number two. If we're gonna watch another. Yeah, watch that compilation, everybody. That's some real. Some real powerful ones.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's go. Yep. On the field. Come on.

[Tom]

So this is in high school. This is the. This is the majors.

[Ethan Klein]

That's not impressive.

[Tom]

It was not.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not a strong start into it.

[Tom]

Not a strong start. But don't worry, they get better.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Just.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I want to hear that when I see them perform.

[Kate]

Give me something to play. Drum corner. National is proud to present the Blue Coats.

[Ethan Klein]

What?

[Tamara]

National.

[Ethan Klein]

Hold on, hold on.

[Tom]

Doesn't count. That doesn't even count. That was not a kiss.

[Zach Bernstein]

I think they're booing.

[Tom]

I think they were booing anybody. Now we're talking. Oh, it's the headache guy.

[Hila]

Whoa.

[Ethan Klein]

He's bald.

[Tom]

Bald head.

[Kate]

Bald head.

[Tom]

Don't tell him to go up.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo.

[Kate]

Performing their 2023 program.

[Tom]

You're pretty slick with that. Okay, this girl is the goat. She. This should be the standard.

[Ethan Klein]

Watch this poor ball grabbing.

[Tamara]

Did you just say

[Kate]

Genesis? Drum Corps International is proud to present it. Damn regiment watch.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what I'm talking. Yo. I know this girl's going to blow it. Like, what the heck?

[Kate]

Pathetic.

[Tom]

After that last one.

[Kate]

Yeah. You can't do that.

[Ethan Klein]

Disgusting. Shao Khan.

[Tom]

It is Shao Khan.

[Tamara]

I just.

[Ethan Klein]

I didn't expect like a very sweet, smiling lady expected some murderous karate master, huh? Such a twist. Oh, I've.

[Tom]

Look at this guy's hat.

[Ethan Klein]

Why don't I just use a real feather?

[Tom]

Cuz are real feathers made out of mirrors? Yeah, I don't think so.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't think so. I swear. This guy's like 70. Why he.

[Tom]

You mentioned that the other day.

[Ethan Klein]

Why? He has an old man's face, doesn't he? Look at this. Tell me, how old is this. Look? Like old man.

[Hila]

Looks a little old.

[Ethan Klein]

Like an old Englishman.

[Hila]

Like, like over 20, though, not old.

[Ethan Klein]

I see like, 50 plus. I don't know. I don't know why. I guess I'm the only one. 20, 23 program where you'll find me.

[Kate]

Drum Corps International is proud to present the Cavalier Cavalry.

[Hila]

Oh,

[Kate]

2d ch.

[Zach Bernstein]

I mean.

[Tom]

Okay, okay. Not now. We're talking. Yo,

[Kate]

He m Lady.

[Hila]

Dude.

[Tom]

He did a m. Lady. Did you see that?

[Ethan Klein]

He should have taken a handgun.

[Tamara]

Yeah, that would have been cool.

[Ethan Klein]

That. Not doing that well.

[Tom]

You could do that for yours.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Keep that in your back pocket.

[Ethan Klein]

I will.

[Tom]

Let's see what you got.

[Ethan Klein]

That outfit is ridiculous. I'm Scar. Oh.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Tom]

The salute was boring, but did you see that look? That was fierce.

[Hila]

The look was everything.

[Tom]

Yeah, look at this. Oh, the little cocky smirk.

[Hila]

Yeah, that was everything.

[Tom]

Whoa.

[Ethan Klein]

Take note, competitors. She lifted her leg.

[Tom]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know if the leg lift was really enough to bring that one home.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, I wanted that guy.

[Hila]

Whoa, look at that.

[Ethan Klein]

There was someone. They yada, yada. Who's that? That looks sick.

[Tom]

He's an assassin up there.

[Hila]

Look at this hat.

[Ethan Klein]

I feel like this is more traditional bands look, though.

[Tom]

Yes, that one is a little more traditional.

[Hila]

Awesome.

[Tom]

And a more traditional salute, too.

[Kate]

Oh,

[Tom]

Meetings at the edge.

[Ethan Klein]

What Been that? Oh, there's my guy.

[Tamara]

Wait, was he in a mask? Yeah, yeah, that was. Yeah.

[Tom]

Wait, she's. She's kind of cooking. Hold on. Swing up. Yep.

[Kate]

Oh.

[Tom]

You know, I like the idea, but I don't know if it worked for me.

[Tamara]

Completely.

[Hila]

Yeah. What is with the Arrow?

[Ethan Klein]

Are they, like, limited?

[Zach Bernstein]

Canelo Alvarez's brother, if he knew who he was, he looks exactly like him. Real quick, this is the weird.

[Ethan Klein]

Are they limited on event or time? Because I just. I don't know why they're doing it.

[Tom]

So to be honest, I'm not sure if there's really tight regulations around this. It seems more free form.

[Ethan Klein]

Because I would. I would just.

[Tom]

And I don't.

[Ethan Klein]

I would do it for a long time.

[Tom]

They get judged on the performance from, like, the moment they enter the stadium. Like, them, like, walking onto the field is supposed to be, like, really disciplined and organized, too. So they might be scored on the salute. And therefore, some might not have the confidence to do one of these. They want to keep it safe and simple and just execute it well, you

[Tamara]

know what I mean?

[Tom]

But others, they. They have some. Some pizzazz.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, if you want to be the best, you've got to take risks.

[Tom]

I agree. I. I personally, I agree.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. You know, nobody gets. Nobody gets ahead. Playing safe. Mm. Oh, a wink. That.

[Tom]

Did he wink?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, he did.

[Tom]

I gotta tell you, that's a shame that he did that, cuz I see that. I was planning on incorporating a wink into my salute.

[Ethan Klein]

Well.

[Tom]

And he kind of mogged me just now. I was gonna do just that.

[Tamara]

That probably went out to one very

[Tom]

special, very special lady.

[Ethan Klein]

You know who you are up there.

[Tom]

What is this?

[Ethan Klein]

What the hell is this? Okay, okay.

[Tom]

Performing their 2023 program, the Sound Garden.

[Jeff]

Drum corps.

[Kate]

Internet.

[Ethan Klein]

Whoa. I want to see them zoom again. Something was going on here.

[Tom]

No, I don't know why, but that one just delights me.

[Ethan Klein]

The outfit is.

[Tom]

The outfit is really something.

[Ethan Klein]

Honestly. Half assed. When an outfit like that, you need more intensity.

[Tom]

Way more intensity.

[Ethan Klein]

This first, like that was slow.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Kidding me.

[Ethan Klein]

Was that person scream?

[Tom]

Performing their 2023 program, Violent Delights.

[Hila]

Violent.

[Zach Bernstein]

That's.

[Ethan Klein]

That's sinister.

[Zach Bernstein]

Ooh,

[Hila]

I don't know about that.

[Kate]

Hi.

[Tamara]

That was really good, Dan.

[Tom]

Hi.

[Hila]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't like the vibe switch up. It makes me uncomfortable.

[Kate]

It's giving.

[Tamara]

Bipolar.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes, exactly. It's giving. I don't want to be insensitive to the. You're mentally ill, but I won't say anything. But I am mentally ill, so. I mean, technically I've got all kinds of problems, but I'm still not going to say it. Dan, you know, you're coming off a little special needs.

[Tamara]

Is that what you were gonna say?

[Ethan Klein]

No, that was Howie Mandel.

[Tamara]

I know, but.

[Hila]

Okay.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

I think so.

[Kate]

Don't you think so?

[Tamara]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

Hello?

[Kate]

No, I know what you mean.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, who is he? Is he the second part of the first part? I, you know, never know. These are two wolves inside of him. Whoa. Jojo Siwa.

[Hila]

Whoa.

[Ethan Klein]

This person's in a plastic bag.

[Tom]

Majors Jonathan Chanel and Hannah Miller. See what you got, Jonathan.

[Ethan Klein]

Just a salute.

[Tom]

Core ready.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Tom]

This guy's a Chad.

[Kate]

Boom, yo.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, baby.

[Hila]

Oh.

[Ethan Klein]

He's like, yeah, my hair fits the form of my hat. That's Sick.

[Tom]

Performing their 2023 program.

[Ethan Klein]

It genuinely looks like he did. Yeah.

[Zach Bernstein]

Real quick, this is a weird observation, but where's his ass?

[Tom]

Why are you asking? We're seeing him from the front right now. Performing their 2,023.

[Ethan Klein]

There it is. Oh, actually you do. Vulgar, but yes, there it is, Tom.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yes.

[Tom]

Hey, that's against the European regulations.

[Ethan Klein]

Please, listen. They took the shot. I'm allowed to ogle. It's up to them to prevent it. It's up to them.

[Kate]

You're stupid, Dan.

[Ethan Klein]

This is not a child college.

[Hila]

No, it's.

[Tom]

It's actually beyond college.

[Ethan Klein]

It's beyond college.

[Tom]

This is like. This is the MLB of.

[Ethan Klein]

This is a fully formed adult ass.

[Tamara]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[Tom]

I'm positive of it. You don't get to this level as a teenager, you understand?

[Tamara]

Level of what?

[Hila]

Ass?

[Tom]

No, of dci, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

How many years it takes to pack on an ass like that?

[Kate]

I like Dan. Dan's cool.

[Tom]

Program Revival Drum Corps International is proud to present.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh. He's like.

[Tamara]

And you stay down hat. You stay down.

[Tom]

Sam, throw that in the Seattle Cascades.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, now, that was the best one because it had different parts, was more thought out.

[Tom]

Huh?

[Ethan Klein]

I like that.

[Tom]

Huh.

[Ethan Klein]

Huh. So. So what do you call this? The.

[Tom]

What do you call it?

[Ethan Klein]

The drum salute?

[Tom]

Well, it's just. It's just a salute. The drum major salute, I guess.

[Kate]

All right, so what do we do?

[Tom]

How would we do it?

[Ethan Klein]

Sig Heil.

[Zach Bernstein]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

I thought I heard you say Zig Heil.

[Tom]

Not me. That was Zach using his soundboard.

[Zach Bernstein]

Don't know what you're talking about.

[Tom]

Don't deny it.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's use. Let me see. Whoa.

[Tom]

Commute it.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. All right, so you guys get the idea. So who wants to go first tomorrow?

[Tom]

I think tomorrow should probably lead us off.

[Kate]

It was her idea. She was really pushing for it.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I'm okay with that.

[Tamara]

I was pushing to see you guys do it.

[Tom]

Well, yeah, exactly. If you missed it tomorrow, after spending the last two days convincing and hyping this up about five minutes before we went live, said, I'm just going to watch you guys do it, actually.

[Hila]

What?

[Tamara]

I'm a coward. I've said it before.

[Tom]

She got scared. You don't have to be scared.

[Zach Bernstein]

What if I go first, you go second?

[Hila]

Okay.

[Zach Bernstein]

Okay.

[Tom]

Okay. Well, Zach's ready, and Zach has an outfit and everything ready. And, Ethan, why don't you start slipping into your.

[Tamara]

Your.

[Tom]

I'm.

[Ethan Klein]

Start changing. Just don't show me because I want to watch that.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Tamara]

Oh, and also, Dan and Hila both have yes to score on.

[Kate]

Oh, nice.

[Tom]

You have one of these. We've decided you. You and me are going to be judging these.

[Hila]

Yes. But I didn't know that Tamara had experience.

[Tamara]

I don't have any. Any experience.

[Hila]

Should you be judging you and them because you have experience with this?

[Tamara]

I don't, but I Don't have it. I was in the band for a year. I don't, I didn't. I don't. I don't know about any.

[Tom]

Hila. You understand fashion, though, and this is really not. This is like a. Yeah, well, this is like. This is like a Runway model.

[Tamara]

Everyone has chosen their own get up.

[Tom]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And which I, I, I have my beret on, but I'm going to have to put the. The rest of my uniform on real quick, so get this shiny shirt out.

[Zach Bernstein]

Are we ready?

[Ethan Klein]

Good.

[Zach Bernstein]

Are we good?

[Tom]

Let's take. Well, one second.

[Hila]

Whoa.

[Tom]

Let me. Let me change what's on the background here. Set the mood a little bit. You know what I mean?

[Zach Bernstein]

That's good.

[Ethan Klein]

Right here.

[Tom]

How about this one? There we go. That's more appropriate. All right, Zach's going in.

[Kate]

Are you starting?

[Tom]

He started. Okay, Ethan, eyes up. Wow.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Tom]

Pretty good.

[Kate]

Pretty good showmanship.

[Tom]

I liked how he put a lot of focus on the watch. That seemed to be the primary thing he was concerned with. I am gonna have to docu points because you did not actually salute, bro. Which is the. The primary requirement of the salute is to salute.

[Zach Bernstein]

That's okay.

[Tom]

Would you like to give it another try and salute this time?

[Zach Bernstein]

I can.

[Tom]

I'll let you take a mulligan.

[Tamara]

There's also a stick you can hold.

[Tom]

Take a mulligan.

[Zach Bernstein]

Okay.

[Tom]

I think you're gonna do even better on your second try here. All right, here we go. Round two.

[Kate]

Ayla's not watching. Hold on, hold on.

[Tom]

Oh, Ela. Oh, my God. Ethan is causing a whole disaster over there.

[Tamara]

Dude, Ethan. Hila was trying to shove the shirt on over him, and then some. A bunch of beads just flew into the air.

[Kate]

Like Sonic.

[Tom]

I believe that was a custom outfit that was assembled.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't. Show me. Oh, you can show me. I put all my. I take a bunch of pills in the morning and I. Oh, that was

[Tamara]

your pills that flew out?

[Hila]

It was in his pocket, and he forgot to take it. And all of a sudden, I see, like, stuff fly everywhere.

[Tom]

Flinging medication around, medication just flying out of his pockets.

[Kate]

He took damage by happening, right.

[Tom]

It's like rings coming out of Sonic. All right, do you have it together? Can Hila properly judge now, please?

[Hila]

No, I cannot. It's distracting me.

[Tom]

Ethan, stop stalking around.

[Hila]

I don't even. I don't feel this was fair to. To Zach, to be honest with you.

[Zach Bernstein]

You're not distracting.

[Kate]

Back and forth. Just proceed.

[Ethan Klein]

What's the problem?

[Kate]

It looks like he's lost, bro.

[Tamara]

He Looks like Shrek. After he takes the medication, he wakes up and he's all confused.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Hila]

So then how are we scoring? Is it okay?

[Tom]

I think we should score on. On aesthetics, of course. On innovation, you know, how original it is. I would give it some aspect of that. And then I would say precision. How precise the salute is. Does he look confident up there? Does he look like he knows what he's doing?

[Hila]

So you had outfit. And what was the other thing?

[Tom]

Are you taking notes?

[Hila]

Yes, I am.

[Zach Bernstein]

She's taking this seriously.

[Tom]

I was just kind of rattling it off. There isn't really a strict guideline. I was just gonna rate them out of 10.

[Hila]

You had three factors, though. There was outfit. There was.

[Tom]

Yeah. So outfit, like in general, aesthetics, Precision.

[Hila]

Yes.

[Tom]

And innovation.

[Hila]

Innovation.

[Tom]

How original it is. I think those are three good metrics to judge on.

[Kate]

Okay, so does that.

[Tom]

Are you gonna give three scores for each of those?

[Hila]

I will make one in the end.

[Tom]

One overall score. Okay, fantastic. I'm so glad that we got this score.

[Hila]

I'll have three scores internally, but not

[Tom]

to tell you that.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Absolutely.

[Hila]

I'll make one in the end.

[Tom]

Okay. Well, if you're ready.

[Hila]

I wish I could replay it. Is it possible to replay it?

[Tom]

Sorry, what was that?

[Hila]

Is it possible to replay it?

[Tom]

To do what?

[Hila]

Replay it.

[Tom]

Oh, replay it. Might be able to figure out.

[Zach Bernstein]

I'll just do it again.

[Tom]

Well, he is just. I mean, yes, he could just do it again.

[Kate]

Do it slow motion.

[Hila]

Okay.

[Tom]

I'll pull up the stream and we. We can put it in slow mo and review. How about that?

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Tom]

All right, we'll do. We'll do that, too. Like an instant replay thing. I'm so glad. Okay, are we finally ready, Zach?

[Zach Bernstein]

Let's do it, baby.

[Tom]

Let's do it, baby. Let's see what you got. He's going up there. First up, Zach Bernstein from the Zilly Zonks.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Wow.

[Tom]

Not bad. Not bad. I thought he looked fantastic in that red coat. What about you?

[Hila]

Hila. I agree. The outfit is my favorite element on Zach.

[Zach Bernstein]

Thank you very much.

[Tom]

The hat complimented it as well. I really felt like I was swimming through a chocolate river watching him do that. I appreciated, on the innovation front, the highlighting of the wristwatch. Clearly, it's something that he's very proud of, and it really brought out a contrast between the seriousness of the salute and the silliness that is inherent to a character like Zilly Zonka. Oh, yeah. Let's. Let's see it in slow mo. Stand by. Ethan is looking fantastic. Cannot wait. To see how that goes.

[Zach Bernstein]

It looks like the music man.

[Tom]

All right, so we're gonna put this. It's. It's playback speed.

[Kate]

Real low.

[Tom]

Here we go. Let's take a look at the instant replay.

[Hila]

I don't know if no time, but

[Kate]

get the full crazy.

[Tom]

All right, here we go. Fist.

[Hila]

Nice Fist.

[Tom]

Nice cross.

[Hila]

Macarena cross.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

A little reminiscent of the Macarena salute.

[Kate]

Smile, smile.

[Tom]

Look at glistening smile. Look at that. Real good. Look at that. Watch.

[Kate]

I hold it for a while.

[Tom]

Nice hold. Nice hold time. A second. Salute. Ooh, I might have to dock him for that. One of the metrics, like I said, is precision. And I have to say, saluting twice is technically a violation, so I'll have to dock him a few points for that. I am ready to reveal my final score. Hila, how about you?

[Hila]

I am calculating, and I. I think I am ready. Okay, you go first, please. Okay. Are we doing. We're doing points, right?

[Tom]

Like, I am doing points. Yeah.

[Hila]

Okay.

[Tom]

Because I have rated him an 8.1. He's getting 8.1. I think it was really solid.

[Zach Bernstein]

Thank you, Dan.

[Tom]

I think it was really solid. He would have if he hadn't biffed the second salute. I think it easily would have been in nine territory, but unfortunately, I had to dock some points for that second salute.

[Hila]

I've only seen one, so I guess I was more generous, and I got to 8.7.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you very much.

[Zach Bernstein]

Thank you very much. Thank you, judges. I appreciate that.

[Tamara]

Thank you, Zach, for participating.

[Zach Bernstein]

Now, Tamara, please, you're up.

[Tom]

Let's see what you got. All right, Tamara is making her way to the performance stage. And with that kind of hat, could we perhaps hear some of that intense magician music?

[Zach Bernstein]

Yes, we can.

[Tom]

Well, I will let the audience be the judge of that one.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Okay.

[Tom]

Take it away.

[Ethan Klein]

Is there music?

[Tamara]

Ooh.

[Ethan Klein]

Who?

[Kate]

Who?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh.

[Zach Bernstein]

Oh,

[Kate]

wow, wow,

[Hila]

wow, wow.

[Tom]

Now, Tamara, surprisingly, for being such a sort of wacky character here on this show, took a more traditional route, but I have to say, it was all on the execution. And my goodness, that was performed excellently. I was very impressed. Hila, let me send it over to you for your comment commentary.

[Hila]

Okay, so outfit Slayage.

[Tom]

Major slayers, Total Shrek.

[Hila]

Slayage. That I'm definitely writing right now. Innovation and precision. I'm a little bit confused there, because I feel like the. The multiple dab.

[Tamara]

Well, I thought Zach did it more than once, didn't he?

[Tom]

He was. He was penalized for that.

[Tamara]

Oh, he was.

[Tom]

He was.

[Tamara]

Yeah. I wasn't paying attention. So I, I, yeah.

[Hila]

Should we do the replay? Cuz maybe tomorrow doesn't remember.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tom]

I mean, it looked like she blacked out perhaps when she got up there. So let's take a look at the instant replay here. Here we go.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

He's stepping up onto the stage. Okay, slow mo, let me get it up to speed. Just, just till we get to the salute part. Okay, she's taking the position. Here we go. She's asking us if she should start. We say yes, go ahead. She starts giggling, breaking character.

[Kate]

There it goes.

[Tom]

One, two. That was a double salute. She breaks a little bit. She laughs to the side.

[Zach Bernstein]

Excellent.

[Tom]

Twirl down. Really smooth.

[Hila]

Very professional.

[Tom]

She pivots and she walks.

[Zach Bernstein]

Great posture.

[Tom]

Right off the stage.

[Tamara]

Thank you, Tom.

[Hila]

Thank you.

[Tom]

Very nice, very nice, very nice.

[Tamara]

Okay. I practiced that for hours.

[Tom]

Did you?

[Tamara]

I did.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Tom]

Okay. I think, I think I have my final score. I think I'm ready. What about you, Hila?

[Hila]

Why don't you go ahead, please?

[Tom]

Okay, here we go. It was tough. It was a tough decision. I had to think really hard about it. I'm giving her an 8.9. I almost gave her a 9.

[Hila]

My God.

[Tom]

I almost gave her a 9 again.

[Tamara]

You know me. Wow.

[Tom]

The double salute unfortunately knocked it down a few points as well as the giggling that took place. The giggling is not really what we're looking for, but the precision was excellent. The innovation was. Was there.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, why is that? Sorry.

[Tom]

You know, it was great.

[Tamara]

Oh, thank you.

[Tom]

And I love the outfit too, so. Fantastic. What about you, Hilo?

[Hila]

I ended up with an 8.5.

[Tamara]

Less than Zach.

[Hila]

Less than Zach, unfortunately. Because I think there was a bit of a hesitation when the like, the like smile and like looking to this side, but then walking off to that side was a bit confused at times, but the outfit was a winner. So overall it got rounded up to 8.5.

[Tom]

The outfit was a big winner.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Tom]

And yeah, I think between the two of us, the average scorer is very slightly ahead of Zach. So for the moment, Tamara has taken pole position in this competition. But it still anybody's game. It's still anybody's game. Who would like to go next?

[Kate]

I could go next.

[Tom]

Nate.

[Ethan Klein]

Dan.

[Tamara]

Nate. Do you want me to.

[Ethan Klein]

The. The stream is open on the X.

[Tom]

Oh, it's because I was doing the.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, there you go.

[Tom]

Instant replay up there.

[Ethan Klein]

I see. Thank you for that.

[Tom]

All right, so Nathan is making his way up. This is our first Latino competitor of the game.

[Kate]

Very inclusive. Oh, it is.

[Zach Bernstein]

And a Fun fact about Nate, he has a child.

[Tom]

And our first father competitive today as well.

[Ethan Klein]

One year old daughter.

[Tom]

Yep. So he's making his way to the stage right now.

[Hila]

This is a married man now.

[Ethan Klein]

Is there is part of the equation's sex appeal? Is that factored in at all?

[Tom]

Maybe a little bit. Also, I feel like we've been on this for a while. I'm gonna. I'm gonna switch this up. I don't know, maybe. Oh, how about this one?

[Tamara]

Nate, do you want a pair of white gloves? He's like, I've rehearsed it a certain way.

[Tom]

Judges, are you ready?

[Hila]

Yes, we are ready.

[Tom]

All right, we're locked in. Let's see what you got, Nate.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, oh.

[Tamara]

Tickle the balls.

[Ethan Klein]

No.

[Tom]

Devastating mistake though.

[Tamara]

He forgot the salute.

[Kate]

He didn't salute. Holy.

[Tom]

Oh, my God. He was blowing my mind. And then it.

[Kate]

Hold on.

[Ethan Klein]

Did it Zach get him all.

[Tom]

Did he get a mulligan?

[Hila]

We can allow it. We can allow it.

[Ethan Klein]

You gave it a mul again. Kelsey, grammar.

[Tom]

Here we go. Boom, boom.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Whoa, wait. There is no salute again.

[Tom]

No, he saluted. He saluted. He got the salute in there. Would you like to see the instant replay? Because I have it. I have it queued up here. So please, please, please just stand by for a moment. This is round two. Yeah, this is round two. All right, here we go. He's getting ready. And we're gonna take it into slow motion as soon as he turns around. Here we go. The head snap the spin. Fist to the face. Balticle fist to the face. Oh, I'm sorry. This was the first one.

[Ethan Klein]

No salute.

[Tom]

That was the first one. That was the first one.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, well, you better show me that.

[Tom]

Okay. All right, hold on. We need to.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm rooting for you, Nate.

[Tom]

No, for sure, for sure. All right, here, here. Here's attempt number two. All right, spin. Oh, very fierce. Tickle face salute. Right there. There it is.

[Ethan Klein]

And I'll say. I'll say second one. The ball tickle felt less convincing.

[Tom]

It felt rushed. It felt rushed.

[Ethan Klein]

There was only one. Personally, I prefer two ball tickles before and after.

[Tom]

Yeah, no, no, you're making good points. And it's unfortunate because everything about that first performance was impressive to me.

[Hila]

Absolutely.

[Tom]

For that critical air where they didn't

[Kate]

salute up there, it was a sloppy ball tickle.

[Tom]

It's unfortunate. And they did get that second try, but the performance was just not as tight that second time. Mila, let me send it over to you.

[Hila]

If I could add outfit, the aesthetic. I like the jacket. But I feel like he did not commit. Just having it over the shoulders and slightly drooping off. A mistake for me. He should have worn it totally. And really commit to the jacket.

[Tom]

That's a fantastic point, Hila. And I will add to that point by pointing out that he was not wearing a silly hat. Our first competitor today that was not wearing some sort of silly hat.

[Hila]

I'm.

[Tom]

That's going to hurt him.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm going to disagree a little bit. Not that it matters, but maybe to lobby it for nice perhaps. I really enjoyed watching his sleeves move. Turn with his body.

[Tom]

That was a highlight of the performance. Ethan.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. So you got unquestionable. You got to pick a lane, then.

[Hila]

It wasn't for me.

[Ethan Klein]

It wasn't. Okay. You are the judge. Literally. I. I personally found that to be one of the most striking moments of his performance.

[Kate]

I don't got enough dick for only fans, bro. You know, straight up.

[Tamara]

Did you know he said that, Tom? No, you said you didn't have enough dick, bro.

[Hila]

I am ready.

[Tom]

You ready to reveal your score? Would you like me to go first?

[Hila]

I can go first.

[Zach Bernstein]

All right.

[Tom]

Why don't you go first this time?

[Hila]

I landed on a 7.8.

[Ethan Klein]

Brutal.

[Tom]

I think that's. I think that's fair. And you know what? We almost had the exact same score. I landed on 7.7.

[Tamara]

This is because he's. This is wrong.

[Tom]

It's still a good score. It's just the competition,

[Ethan Klein]

guys.

[Tom]

You laid out the rationale very clearly. Very clearly.

[Ethan Klein]

If that was a white man, that would.

[Tamara]

Yeah, if that was a white man, that would have been a 10 out of 10.

[Hila]

Honestly, it would have been less if he was a white man.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God. Okay.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Tamara]

So you're saying your score. That was affecting your score.

[Tom]

Yeah, but it helped him.

[Hila]

I don't repeat myself.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, listen, guys. Guys.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Enough fooling around.

[Tom]

Is it time for you to step up there?

[Ethan Klein]

It isn't. Dan, you know the video I want on screen, please?

[Tom]

I believe you requested. Where is it? This?

[Ethan Klein]

Yes, sir.

[Tom]

Is that right?

[Kate]

Okay.

[Tom]

All right. Ethan is making his way to the stage now.

[Kate]

You're not in frame.

[Hila]

Wait, you're not in frame.

[Tom]

You're just in the God shot.

[Ethan Klein]

I can't see.

[Tom]

Okay, yeah, you're good now. You're great.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Zach Bernstein]

Like a young Freddie Mercury.

[Tom]

Wait, was that it?

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, no.

[Hila]

Oh, okay.

[Ethan Klein]

The parachuter.

[Tamara]

Oh, okay, wait, let's actually do an announcement like they were doing in the video.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Tom]

All right, ladies and gentlemen, to the stage now. For his salute, Ethan Klein.

[Tamara]

It. Wow.

[Kate]

Wow. Powerful.

[Tamara]

Outstanding ovation.

[Tom]

I went, wow.

[Kate]

Wow. I'm giving it up.

[Tamara]

I'm not standing up for that.

[Kate]

Someone else.

[Zach Bernstein]

Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Appreciate.

[Tom]

Oh, my goodness. What is there even to say after your performance like that?

[Hila]

Hila, I need a moment to collect my thoughts.

[Tom]

I, I agree. And unfortunately, we. I wish we had all of the moments to collect our thoughts after that, because that was incredible. That was one of the most stylish salutes I've ever seen. If I had to give it any criticism at all.

[Ethan Klein]

Can we watch the. The replay?

[Tom]

I suppose we should. I suppose we should. Ethan, real quick.

[Zach Bernstein]

This is a weird observation, but where's his ass?

[Tamara]

That's. I was thinking the same thing.

[Zach Bernstein]

I'm not a judge, so it doesn't matter.

[Hila]

I, I, I have O, I, n, P on my categories. I don't have ass.

[Zach Bernstein]

It's not.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Hila]

We have outfit, innovation, precision.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, I see. Well, if you did have ass, it'd be a good score. Trust me.

[Tom]

All right, here we go. The replay is on. So he's in the starting position. Elegant extension there. Look at that extension.

[Tamara]

The nip has slipped.

[Tom]

The nip has started.

[Tamara]

So that's.

[Tom]

Now, that's all part of the act. Cross sexuality down hips. Macarena spin. You stir it up a little this, a little that.

[Hila]

Wow.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Whoa.

[Tom]

A little row.

[Tamara]

Did Hila put blush on you, on

[Kate]

your face, and then looks like that.

[Tom]

The fake out.

[Hila]

The fake out was very innovative.

[Kate]

He's doing like a bimec.

[Ethan Klein]

I wasn't gonna forget the salute.

[Tom]

Oh, my God. The knee cross also.

[Hila]

What a good usage of the space.

[Tom]

Absolutely.

[Zach Bernstein]

Oh,

[Ethan Klein]

thank you, guys. I'm so glad. Yeah. What was your. You, you did have a nice. No, I'm curious.

[Kate]

So you.

[Tom]

I, I have to point out that the second salute fake out did not hit as hard as the first, and of course, it couldn't. Right. But I'm really. I'm looking for something to criticize here. Believe me, I was blown away.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you, sir. I appreciate that. Thank you, judge. Oh, one second.

[Tamara]

Aim in one second.

[Ethan Klein]

Love is giving it one second. That is a high. Thank you, Love. That's the highest praise possible.

[Tom]

So let me. Let me really think about this, Hila. In the meantime, share your thoughts, please.

[Hila]

Now, I thought the outfit was stunning.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you.

[Hila]

And it went all in, including the pants, the gloves, the sparkle.

[Kate]

The nipple.

[Hila]

Yeah, the nipple.

[Tom]

The nipple.

[Hila]

I'm really struggling to find any reason not to give it a 10. And I don't want to seem biased.

[Tamara]

Yeah, you do seem a little bit.

[Tom]

You are married to the contestant, which is hard to get around that.

[Hila]

But for that, just for that, I'll take down a point.

[Tom]

Let me. Let me point.

[Zach Bernstein]

That's.

[Hila]

No. That's like a. No, like a tenth of a point. A tenth of a point. So I'm gonna give.

[Tom]

I think that's more than fair, especially considering the score that I've given him. I'm just gonna go ahead and share mine now. Oh, it's a 9.9. It's a 9.9. 9 9. Repeating.

[Tamara]

Oh, he's going for seconds. He's going for seconds.

[Tom]

He's going back up there. He's going back up there.

[Zach Bernstein]

Real quick. This is a weird observation. Ass.

[Kate]

That's an ass right there.

[Tom]

Go back to him.

[Hila]

What's happening there on the screen?

[Tom]

That's an encore, everyone. That's an encore.

[Hila]

I stand.

[Tamara]

I'm excited to see your performance.

[Tom]

I. I mean, that is an impossible act to follow. And really, because I'm a judge, this is more of, like, I'm doing more of an exhibition. Yeah, an exhibition, if you will. So let me. Let me go ahead and get up.

[Ethan Klein]

What's this video y' all put up on screen?

[Tom]

This is something Tamara found. Would you prefer one of the others that I pulled? Like, perhaps?

[Tamara]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

This is what the I wanted behind me.

[Hila]

Oh, my God.

[Tamara]

You actually. Okay.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Lindsey Graham.

[Tamara]

You actually literally asked for something else behind you.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, no, I got what I wanted. Yeah, I just. The first one, which is what mattered. I got what I wanted. Thank you. You know.

[Kate]

All right, Dan's going up.

[Hila]

All right.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, Dan, do you want us to give you a cue? You seem like you're in charact. You're in the zone already.

[Kate]

We can't see Sword Love.

[Hila]

Go ahead. We are ready. Yeah, Nate.

[Kate]

I like that. Dan Swirlet from Canoga Hills. Oh, I don't know where he's from.

[Zach Bernstein]

Canoga Park, California.

[Ethan Klein]

Woodland Hills.

[Hila]

Woodland Hills.

[Ethan Klein]

Daniel Spring right now.

[Hila]

Woodland Hillshire.

[Ethan Klein]

They can't see you, Dan.

[Tamara]

So he knows what he's.

[Ethan Klein]

Get your sparkle.

[Zach Bernstein]

Fun fact about Dan. He likes going to the mall.

[Hila]

Is he nervous?

[Kate]

38 years old yesterday, and this is his birthday wish.

[Hila]

All right.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow. Wow.

[Hila]

Whoa.

[Ethan Klein]

Whoa.

[Kate]

Whoa. Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

That was good. He really knows his stuff.

[Hila]

Wow.

[Zach Bernstein]

Whoa.

[Ethan Klein]

He really knows his stuff. Guys. Happy birthday, Dan.

[Tamara]

Oh, my God.

[Kate]

Happy birthday.

[Ethan Klein]

He really knows his stuff.

[Tamara]

Guys, stand up for dad.

[Hila]

Dad, stand up for Dan.

[Ethan Klein]

Really got his.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

That was awesome. Also, I just want to say rest in peace to Lindsey Graham, of course. This was a memorial performance.

[Tamara]

I knew he would kill it.

[Hila]

Dan, wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow. That was inspiring.

[Hila]

Honestly, that was so perfect.

[Zach Bernstein]

You did Lindsay's ladybugs proud in honor of Lindsay Graham.

[Hila]

Also, I love the shirt. The beautiful blue compliments your eyes beautifully.

[Tom]

Thank you. Thank you. That's really.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm gonna give you a sport because you can't judge yourself.

[Tom]

Okay, Here, let me bring you the whiteboard.

[Ethan Klein]

Bring it here, Dan.

[Hila]

Innovation was off the charts.

[Ethan Klein]

So what is.

[Hila]

What's precision?

[Tom]

Precision, innovation, and aesthetics.

[Tamara]

I mean, that was insane.

[Hila]

That was.

[Tamara]

Tom, what do you think?

[Zach Bernstein]

I mean, personally, I loved it. It was precise. It looked like he knew he had direction. He. He wasn't winging it. This was something he's worked on.

[Kate]

He. He had flair.

[Zach Bernstein]

He had panache. I liked it. You know, for me, it's a 10. You don't get more perfect. And it was compact, too. It didn't drag on too long.

[Hila]

There was no hesitation, too, with any of the moves, transitions. He knew what he was going to do, and he went for it.

[Tamara]

And he didn't have to use his nipples.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Tamara]

Degrade him.

[Ethan Klein]

Sex appeal is something that a lot of these marchers are missing.

[Tamara]

Okay, well, dan had a 10 out of 10.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. Why are you getting aggressive about. Yeah, why are you slut shaming? You think I need to hide my nipples? Like, what is your problem?

[Kate]

Why are you nipple shaming him?

[Ethan Klein]

Just call me a slut. Do it. No, call me a whore. I know you want to.

[Kate]

You're not Jamie.

[Ethan Klein]

Here's what I've got there.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Now Precision is a 10. You came out there.

[Tamara]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

You put your heart out there on the line. Let's every move was. Yeah, let's replay it. Every move was fluid. It was on point. That's a 10 here.

[Hila]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Innovation again. I got to give you a 10 because basically, the conga. The rolling Conga or whatever you want.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Tamara]

What was that?

[Ethan Klein]

That was fantastic. We haven't seen that before.

[Hila]

Another really good use. Usage of the stage. The whole space was used.

[Kate]

True.

[Ethan Klein]

You commanded the space.

[Tom]

Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Here, let's take a look here.

[Tom]

Yeah, here's the replay here.

[Tamara]

Holy. I can't believe we caught on camera. Look at him.

[Ethan Klein]

Didn't even start.

[Kate]

Wow. He's amazing. Whoa.

[Hila]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

That's the part that really.

[Kate]

I didn't expect that.

[Ethan Klein]

That's.

[Hila]

And that was crazy.

[Kate]

Oh, my God.

[Tamara]

Oh, my God.

[Hila]

Do you see that? Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

The rolling conga really took us all by hesitation whatsoever. And also, I'll say The salute. Just when you thought it was done, it kept giving again.

[Zach Bernstein]

It had excellent bounce recoil to it. Stellar.

[Kate]

Thank you.

[Tom]

Thank you. You guys are too kind.

[Ethan Klein]

You guys, I will say this.

[Tom]

Here it comes.

[Ethan Klein]

The aesthetic left a tiny morsel wanting. Not enough nipples were shown. I didn't glimpse your ass one time. Did you turn around? Did we see your backside at all?

[Tom]

Saw it. Even better. I was from the side. Dude, you got that full profile.

[Hila]

Yeah, I. I did not have an issue with.

[Ethan Klein]

Did not see any dick outline, but. And also, I just think, you know, although you are in a beautiful blue blouse,

[Tamara]

the bbb.

[Tom]

Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

I felt like wearing a white hat was a disservice to your beautiful, beautiful blue eyes.

[Tamara]

Oh, my.

[Hila]

Completely disagreeable. Holy.

[Tamara]

He's just trying to tear you down.

[Tom]

Why don't you say anything, Dan? You're stupid. You're stupid, Dan.

[Zach Bernstein]

You're dumb. Oh, no.

[Ethan Klein]

So although. But here's the other thing too. Birthday. Make a wish.

[Hila]

Yep, yep, yep. About to turn 40.

[Ethan Klein]

40 almost.

[Hila]

So for me, I have my score already ready.

[Ethan Klein]

Go ahead.

[Hila]

Hila. And I will say that this comes at a great risk for me.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't do it.

[Tamara]

Do it.

[Hila]

Great risk.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't do it.

[Hila]

Causing trouble here.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God.

[Hila]

With the office dynamic, you know, being

[Ethan Klein]

married, there's no way it's better. It's. It has. It's a perfect 10. Don't say that.

[Hila]

Listen, the only reason I had to take a point from you is because they would have said, you know, that I'm compromised.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, well, you put a crown next to mine, so now you can give me a 10. Because. Go ahead, just say your rating.

[Hila]

You still got your crown and I'm not taking it away.

[Ethan Klein]

But you are.

[Tom]

Let me remind you, Ethan, I. I was not.

[Tamara]

I.

[Tom]

It was an exhibition.

[Zach Bernstein]

Can we let have Dan have his moment for 10?

[Ethan Klein]

Well, I didn't get my grade. Yeah.

[Tamara]

Do you guys want to go to Fate? Galu off.

[Ethan Klein]

I did not. We can, but I didn't give my grade yet.

[Kate]

You're not judged.

[Ethan Klein]

Perfect 10.

[Kate]

Oh, my God. Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Perfect 10. Perfect 10. You embody everything that we love about drum cheer. The legacy, the prominence, the precision, everything that we stand for. You stood for, and I salute you.

[Hila]

Nice. So mature.

[Tamara]

Really touching moment. Even David's in the corner crying.

[Kate]

What does it mean to have a boner?

[Tamara]

Go hug on the stage, buddy.

[Tom]

I like Dan.

[Kate]

Dan.

[Hila]

School and. Oh, wow.

[Tamara]

You think I mogged you just then.

[Tom]

I like dan. Dan's cool.

[Zach Bernstein]

It's like the ending of Titanic.

[Kate]

I'LL never let go.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow. I did not expect such incredible beauty and just poetry in motion here today. Incredible. Incredible. Unbelievable. Wow. Well done, Dan. Well done. Remarkable. And now. Well, that was so much fun. That was really a lot of fun. So. And, well, it only gets more fun from here because we're gonna go do some demonology now.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Is this Almond God.

[Tom]

That ended up taking a lot longer than I expected, though. Ethan. We are at 250. 50. So.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, let's, let's. Let's just.

[Tom]

I think we still do it, but. Yeah, we thought that was going to be like a 15, 20 minute thing, but we. We just were having too much fun.

[Ethan Klein]

We were. We were. We needed that. We needed that. Oh, my God, we needed that.

[Hila]

Amazing.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, so I guess I'll do the rest of the show like this, huh?

[Kate]

Hey, why?

[Ethan Klein]

Nothing more. I mean, what better way to present. I mean, the demonology.

[Hila]

I could help you put your shirt back on real quick. That's all they do anyway.

[Tamara]

Are those normal sized nipples?

[Hila]

Let's put it back on.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, what. What do you think they're small or big?

[Tamara]

Yeah, they're.

[Ethan Klein]

They seem dark, to be honest.

[Kate]

Are you cold? Color?

[Tamara]

Are you cold?

[Ethan Klein]

No. Excuse me.

[Tamara]

Cover up.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, hold on. You want to call me a slut? So bad.

[Hila]

Jealous.

[Zach Bernstein]

Thank you for tuning into the H3 show. Ethan is dressing, changing outfits. I don't know where Dan went. He might be doing the same. My name is Zach Lewis on the ones and twos. Nate, Tamara, Tom, love. How you guys doing?

[Tamara]

Thank you. Thank you so much, Zach and Nate, for participating. Sorry, I almost backed out. This is me. Goodbye.

[Tom]

Sorry, one second. I'm dealing with a frozen Nate right now.

[Tamara]

Get away from me, Nate.

[Zach Bernstein]

Is that why I called on you, Nate, and you didn't respond?

[Kate]

Yes, Dan. As you can, Zach. I mean me. You can see I was frozen.

[Zach Bernstein]

Well, you're pretty cool. Dealing with some tech stuff. How's everybody's afternoon going? I hope everyone's having a pleasant Wednesday. Pleasant Wednesday afternoon. Thank you so much for tuning into the H3 show.

[Hila]

And don't forget, after dark.

[Kate]

Dan.

[Tom]

Want me to do some super chats?

[Zach Bernstein]

Dan, please.

[Tom]

I was fixing the camera. I missed. What happened? And did he go to the bathroom?

[Zach Bernstein]

No, this is the midnight hour.

[Tom]

He's just changing.

[Tamara]

All right.

[Tom]

Anyways, let me thank some of the fine people who've been donating today.

[Zach Bernstein]

You disrupted the midnight hour, Dan.

[Tom]

Officer Butt baby said, hey, Reckless Ben. Why don't you become very careful, Ben, pal? Reckless Ben. More like Reckless has been. Hey, Ben, why don't you make like a tree and supply oxygen to the environment, Officer Butt baby. That was quite a comment, ma'.

[Ethan Klein]

Am.

[Tom]

You really. You really brought it with that one. Hey, fam. I'm attempting to get my driver's license tomorrow. It's been a long process since I am disabled in a wheelchair and had to do a bunch of training and fight with the state over funding. Wish me luck. That's from my dad, Smokesthaza. Well, don't mention marijuana during your driving test. That's my advice to you. Yeah, just leave that out. But good luck.

[Ethan Klein]

I believe it's important to disclose right now. I am high.

[Tom]

Right, Right. First thing. First thing out of your mouth when

[Tamara]

you hop into the car.

[Ethan Klein]

And I did have a beer, but it was like a few hours ago, so I should be.

[Tom]

It's like a bunch of hours ago.

[Kate]

All right.

[Tom]

What do you got there, there, Ethan? What's happening? Struggling with something?

[Ethan Klein]

It's just some food.

[Tom]

Okay, what you got?

[Ethan Klein]

I don't even know.

[Kate]

Describe the taste.

[Tom]

You don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

It's like a. It's some kind of salad.

[Tamara]

All right.

[Ethan Klein]

Frozen salad.

[Hila]

Me.

[Ethan Klein]

Who's ordered for me? What is this creamy meat Frozen salad? It's creamy. Cummy.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

I don't know.

[Tom]

But let me remind you, we are are low on time and I think you're gonna enjoy this Big Nick stuff, so you should get to it.

[Ethan Klein]

You want to? Actually, I'll do it. All right, let's. Let's. Let's.

[Tom]

Let's dive in.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's thaw this meat out, eh?

[Tom]

Let's thought.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, Big Nick learns about the dark arts, guys. And guess what? As we know.

[Tamara]

Amen.

[Ethan Klein]

Who really is behind the dark arts?

[Tom]

Satan.

[Ethan Klein]

No, you choose close.

[Tamara]

Oh,

[Tom]

right. Thank you, Charlie.

[Ethan Klein]

So here's Big Nick with somebody called the demon Eraser.

[Tom]

Okay, well, we're not fans of demons around here, so hell no getting rid of them. That sounds.

[Ethan Klein]

What if I told you demons were just Ashka?

[Zach Bernstein]

Well, I was going to ask that. Is he just the Jew killer?

[Tom]

Like is Eraser Eraser. But yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

So I don't need to watch the

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

beginning of the people are using these children also based on.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh yeah, we saw this.

[Tamara]

Subscribe.

[Ethan Klein]

We got the channel down below if you are new and I got you. I trust you, Nate.

[Kate]

Choose.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Why?

[Ethan Klein]

Follow your lead.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Thanks.

[Tamara]

Well, let's do it.

[Kate]

What is.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's do it. What is witchcraft?

[Tom]

All right. Yeah, we'll set up Jews.

[Hila]

All right.

[Tom]

Let's set a baseline.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Yeah. So witchcraft Actually, a lot of this was taught to people by the Nephilim. The Nephilim was kind of the origins that we believe, that we love, that came from that. It's like, let me remind you all.

[Ethan Klein]

Diablo. Yeah, go say it.

[Tom]

No, not Diablo. Clowns. Don't you remember my conspiracy presentation that we did a few months ago? The Nephilim are clowns.

[Ethan Klein]

They are.

[Zach Bernstein]

Thank you, Dan.

[Tom]

Do you. You really don't remember? You don't remember my presentation?

[Ethan Klein]

But all that love and effort about Nephilim being clowns. Maybe. I guess I do.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yeah, I do remember. And just to back your point, Nephilim are Jews, according to Jordan Peterson.

[Kate]

He's this crazy Israeli clown comedian, right?

[Ethan Klein]

Therefore.

[Tom]

And therefore Nephilim. Therefore. Yeah. So it all ties together.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow. Terrifying.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

In the Book of Enoch, specifically. It's also found referenced in the Dead Sea Scrolls and other texts where it alludes to things like in the Book of Jubilees as well. And I think the Book of Jasher also mentions some of this stuff.

[Ethan Klein]

But I like Jubilees.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

The angels that came down that mated with humans, essentially creating the Nephilim.

[Zach Bernstein]

When he's talking about Jewish clown, are we talking about like a Krusty the Clown?

[Ethan Klein]

No, that was. Damn.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, no, that was Jordan Peterson.

[Zach Bernstein]

Jewish clowns.

[Kate]

Like, isn't it crazy?

[Tom]

Confusing, Tom.

[Kate]

I'm sorry, I'm.

[Tom]

No, I'm sorry.

[Ethan Klein]

He calls me a clown because I had all these props.

[Zach Bernstein]

A secret clown community. He's talking.

[Ethan Klein]

No, he's talking about me.

[Kate]

Oh, okay.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Tom]

No, that was in reference.

[Ethan Klein]

He liked me. That's when he liked me. I liked you. Heed my warning.

[Zach Bernstein]

But where's his ass?

[Ethan Klein]

You're the first Jew I ever liked. Heed my warning,

[Kate]

Jew.

[Ethan Klein]

Actually, I'll say to Jordan Peterson's credit, he's never been on board with the anti Semitism weirdness on his side of the aisle. His great credit. His great, great, great credit.

[Kate]

So in what way is predator is real? In what way is dragon real?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, the only thing you hear from Jordan Peterson these days is beep, beep, beep.

[Tom]

Very good, very good.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

I have that controlling of demons.

[Ethan Klein]

That's quiet.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

And this is the origin of witchcraft. Witchcraft is essentially manipulation and control. It's called. It's called witchcraft.

[Ethan Klein]

It's.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

It's from like. It's not. It's not arts and crafts, it's magic. Arts and witchcraft.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, I thought witchcraft was finger painting, moron. I didn't realize that my toddlers were participating in dark magic. Idiot.

[Kate]

Typical Jew kind of Stems from.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

And so it is a. It's a form of manipulating things to your own will. It's not about like sounds allowing the will of God to take control. It's about allowing your will.

[Ethan Klein]

Sounds dope.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

That's in control.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

So yeah, it's pretty. There's a lot of. There's a lot of parts to a lot of witchcraft and spelling and everything else.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Spelling?

[Kate]

Really?

[Ethan Klein]

This doesn't know how to spell. So let me get this straight. You think witchcraft is about spelling and arts and crafts? Go back to kindergarten. Small brain child spelling.

[Tamara]

You're talking about like the language. Because I have looked into that as well. There's a lot of stuff in the English language that is kind of like the way that they spell it is you're actually speaking curses over yourself.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Hila]

Oh yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

And that. And it's bro. Here's the crazy part. So like spelling is not like our language is very occultic. It's actually. It's actually called witch tongue. And there is a lot of stuff to the English language that is English is derived from English which is supposedly Anglo Saxon. But yeah, Anglo don't sound. Sound like angler, which means fish and Saxon means sect of or part of. That's where we get the word sex. Okay. Yeah. Anglo Saxon is not.

[Ethan Klein]

This guy is so goofy.

[Kate]

Dude, we're reaching. This is just surface level right now.

[Ethan Klein]

This is. Yeah, we're only. I know, but it's sect. He said sect. It comes from the word sex. Did you say that? You said that right?

[Kate]

I think so. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Because I feel like that's not true.

[Kate]

But Anglo Saxon.

[Ethan Klein]

Anglo Saxon.

[Zach Bernstein]

Is that what he got? I don't know. I zoned out.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean I'm asking Cha cha bati. It's thinking a lot demonic

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

at angular sex. It's angel sex. It literally means really nephilim.

[Ethan Klein]

It's like the resemblance is a coincidence. Sect comes from Latin secta meaning a school falling or way of life. Sex comes from Latin word sexist referring to biological sex. The resemblance is coincidental. Idiot.

[Kate]

Dumbass.

[Ethan Klein]

Idiot.

[Tamara]

Dude.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

G. Nephilimized language.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Anglo Saxon.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Angel sex in it's sect of angel.

[Tamara]

That's so. I didn't know that.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Yeah, so. But yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Cuz he just made it up, bro. This guy just be Shay and Nick's like, oh my God. God. So when are we finger painting?

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Like when you try to google some of these stuff, you have to read some like really old stuff to figure out these roots. Because they bury it.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

And that's what the art of spelling is. Spelling is manipulating the.

[Ethan Klein]

That's why you can't find anything about it. It's because it's buried. Not because you just make. You just saying

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

meanings and the understandings of a word so that you don't understand its roots. Okay, so like, the root word for witchcraft is actually grimoire. It's actually the view right now. Type in grimoire. That's what the old books of witchcraft were called. They're grimoires. Like the Brothers Grimm, the Grimm fairy tales. Okay. Grimoire Grimm is the word witchcraft. Okay? And so that's why we call it insta. Grim Instagram.

[Hila]

Okay.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

This word, Graham, is also a root derivation. Grim Graham. The Grammys, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

This is the most dumb. That's not even true. Like telegram. You know what I mean? It's a. It's a. It's a form of communication.

[Kate]

No, it's witchcraft.

[Ethan Klein]

Nick is. Honestly, I don't blame demon eraser, but to sit across from this guy, just be like, wow, that's crazy. Instagram. Nick, you are the dumbest. You are so. You're dumber than him. You are like.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

That's why it's called the Grammys. They're telling you that it's witchcraft. Or telegram or the program the programmed into witchcraft. Basically, pro means four and gram means witchcraft program.

[Tamara]

Wow.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Get with the program.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Someone ever said that to you?

[Tom]

Because they cursed you forever. You're cursed, buddy.

[Ethan Klein]

Get with the program. Demon.

[Kate]

You

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

know, on that note.

[Hila]

Wow.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

That's how, like, they're. They're manipulating us with these words and these terminologies. This is what spelling is.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

And then. And then there's like this. This aspect of being, like, oh, well, that's not where it actually came from.

[Tom]

Like, if you look up this.

[Kate]

Blah, blah.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, no, no, that matters. That does matter. The root of the word does matter because it just means you're full of shit, doesn't it?

[Kate]

Yeah. Oh, it says it came from this.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

No, fool. Like, they control the Internet.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, dude, the Internet is not where words came.

[Tom]

Oh, Galio makes a good point. That's why Americans don't use the metric system with grams.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, nothing, it's just grams. Not even hidden in a word. Like insta.

[Tom]

Yeah,

[Ethan Klein]

bro, Religion has literally melted your brain.

[Zach Bernstein]

Dude, I've been sitting on this. What's with his hairline? He has like a double hairline. Like, he has the one below. And then is there like a wig sitting on top of it? Like a mo from the Three Stooges? Wig on top of the low hairline. I've just been staring at, trying to figure out what's going on.

[Ethan Klein]

This man can't even decide on a hairline. How's he gonna decide on a God? Nick. I keep trying to get Nick to call in, and last time we talked about. He's like, dude, why are you so mean to me? Just leave me alone. And now he's like, jews are demons and they all need to be killed. I. I don't know, but we'll watch it. But yeah, this is. What?

[Tom]

Don't put words in his mouth.

[Ethan Klein]

He says that basically. I mean, more or less. Let's see.

[Tamara]

Yeah, like.

[Tom]

Like, yeah, like, straight up, bro.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Of course they want you to think that. That's not the origins.

[Tamara]

Right?

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

But it's all over your. Dude, Instagram Telegram said that.

[Ethan Klein]

You keep saying the same ones.

[Kate]

These words.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

The. The television program you watch. The shows are the program. Okay, like, the channel, because you're channeling a message.

[Ethan Klein]

What about if you talk about it, like, in German or any other language where it sounds different, doesn't matter.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

And it's like. And it's like, it's called the cast because the people on the show that you watch are called the cast. They're casting a spell on you when you watch it. It's called the broadcast because they're broadly casting a spell on everybody who watches.

[Ethan Klein]

This is like, not even. This is, like, the dumbest conspiracy theory, brain melted, paranoid, delusional shit I've ever heard in my life. It's not even clever. Like, it's not even enough pretense to entice anyone other than Big Nick with this.

[Hila]

The chat is pointing out. Lindsay, grab.

[Ethan Klein]

Boom.

[Kate]

Oh, yo, yo.

[Tom]

Rest in peace.

[Ethan Klein]

That's why he's dead. That's why he's dead.

[Tom]

Well, that's been his name his whole life.

[Ethan Klein]

I know, but we just caught up with him.

[Kate]

Yeah, okay.

[Ethan Klein]

That's why he died so young.

[Zach Bernstein]

Gone too soon.

[Ethan Klein]

Gone too soon. Rest in peace. Late ladybugs. I miss his ladybugs.

[Tamara]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Right there in, like, front of your face. But people are. It's like. It's very deceptive because they'll try to misillude the terminology and be like, oh, it doesn't actually mean that. It's spelled. Oh, that word's spelled differently. That's the art of spelling. That's why it's called that. The root term is spelling and grammar.

[Kate]

It's called grammar.

[Tamara]

Yeah, I agree.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't like grammar. Grammar's. Yeah, grammar. Samadic. Anyone who's in school right now, if anyone tries to correct your grammar, call him a demon, because that's what they're trying to do. It's trying to lower your AP score. With grammar that.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

It's Graham, it's grim. It's the grim reaper. It's. It's death, it's grim. This is where these sort of words come from. Yeah. So grammar, Gramoire, Graham, grim. This is all witchcraft. And so that's why it's called spelling or cursive. You write in cursive?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tamara]

You're like, it's a curse.

[Kate]

Basically, they're telling you you should be

[Ethan Klein]

glad because they stopped teaching cursive. So we're going in the right direction, it seems.

[Tom]

Absolutely. Absolutely. And people's grammar these days is pretty poor, so.

[Ethan Klein]

Horrible.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Jesus is right around. He's coming. He knows Jesus hates grammar.

[Kate]

Dude, what they're telling you, bro.

[Tamara]

That's insane.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

It's a cursing language.

[Tamara]

Actually, this actually reminded me of something that I want to ask you about. So in a lot of our spelling today, there are, like written curses in the language. But it seems like majority of the popular languages all come from Latin. And what's so interesting about Latin is I saw a video where the majority

[Tom]

speaking in demonic popular languages.

[Zach Bernstein]

Like the Romance languages.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, that.

[Tom]

What he's talking about are we just. I guess if we're just talking in the number of languages. But shouldn't, like, the amount of people that use those language matter more?

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, you have Latin and you have. What's the other one?

[Tom]

The Romance languages are like Spanish, French and Italian, Romanian.

[Ethan Klein]

It's like a lot of other. A lot of other ones.

[Tom]

I mean, between India and China, that's like most of the world, and they don't speak any of those.

[Ethan Klein]

So they probably say something that sounds like. Graham.

[Tom]

Yeah, you know what?

[Ethan Klein]

Probably, you know, they're getting their curses.

[Tom]

That's a great point.

[Ethan Klein]

They're working them in tongues, and the

[Tamara]

demonic tongues were in Latin. So I guess I want to ask you, why do demons choose the language of Latin whenever they're trying to communicate?

[Ethan Klein]

That's such a good question.

[Tamara]

When they're possessed.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Well, it's. It's really interesting, actually, because there's. Okay, so like, in the Freemasons is a totally an occultic organization. People don't know it. I mean, it's a filtering.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah. Nobody's ever heard that.

[Tom]

Nobody.

[Ethan Klein]

Nobody ever heard that the Freemasons are occultic. They're the first one. Dude, you're like a conspiracy trailblazer, buddy.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

But in demons use multiple languages. They don't care a lot of times what the language is. But there is a lot of heavy emphasis on Latin because that's when the witchcraft, like, was born and started, like, brewing into our society. And so there will be a lot of stuff that is occultic related to Latin. But the. I guess. I guess the. It's just the chosen language at the time that permeated that sort of environment. Yeah. But really fascinatingly, where's the smoke for the.

[Tom]

For the Catholics then why is it all the Jews?

[Kate]

He's gonna. He's gonna fix it right here.

[Tom]

Oh, he'll fix it.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Zach Bernstein]

Oh, sweet.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, he has smoke for the Catholics.

[Kate]

Nope.

[Ethan Klein]

No, they did it. We didn't do that.

[Tom]

He's gonna redirect it. Yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Like in Freemasonry, they read out of these books. Yeah. And they have to memorize these words in Latin. It'll also be in Hebrew. I know. And.

[Tom]

And Jew.

[Ethan Klein]

Whoops. Oh, I fucked up. I was gonna say it's also in Hebrew, which, as you know, is a much more popular language historically than Latin.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes, yes, absolutely. Of demons stuff.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

So I lost my spot.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Nc aga when they might. Well, it's. It's really interesting, actually, because there's. Okay, so like, in the. Freemasons is a totally an occultic organization. People don't know it. Filtering. See who's vulnerable.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I went back a little bit.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

In. Demons use multiple languages. They don't care a lot of times. And so there will be a lot of stuff that is occultic related to Latin. But the. I guess. I guess the. It's just the chosen language at the time that permeated that sort of environment. Yeah. But really fascinating Latin, though. You'll. He'll hear, like in Freemasonry, they read out of these books. Yeah. And they have to memorize these words in Latin. It'll also be in Hebrew or Arabic, by the way. Side note. And they memorize these phrases, but they don't know what the phrases mean. But if you break them apart in different word sections, they will spell out different phrases. Like they might chant a. A word. They. They. That sounds like gibberish. But when you put the emphasis on a different part of the words and you join them in different ways. Like Balenciaga. Right. So bal. Nc Aga.

[Ethan Klein]

This guy just discovered syllables. I really think this guy's just desperate to go back to elementary school. He wants to finger paint, wants to learn how to spell he just is mind blown about syllables, bro.

[Tom]

Is hooked on phonics.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's get him.

[Tom]

He's hooked on phonics, man.

[Ethan Klein]

For real, dude. Let's get him back, man.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Is king. NC is the ball. Ball is the king. But. But you. They put it together in one word, like Balenciaga. And they try to make.

[Tom]

So if you change it and say it differently, something else. Yeah, right. Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Did you know if you change a word into it and say it totally wrong and say in a different word,

[Tom]

it means something different.

[Ethan Klein]

Balenciaga.

[Hila]

So is Balenciaga cursed?

[Ethan Klein]

Yes.

[Tom]

Yeah, well, it has ball. Ball is. Ball is. He's up there. He's tighter than Amon.

[Ethan Klein]

Balls are gay, too.

[Tom]

Balls and balls are gay.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't thought about that. Baba Yaga. Yeah. Baba Yaga. That's a good one. Galia said spells.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

And this is. You know, they do these things in Latin. They do these things in all kinds of different stuff.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Let's see. I got.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

They're spelling all kinds of confusion spelling that they do. I mean, incursive is a channeling language, by the way. It's actually.

[Tom]

Cursive is not a language.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Put the pin on the paper and

[Kate]

never pick it up remotely.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

And they would be like. And they zone out.

[Hila]

Right.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

And this is called ghost writing.

[Tamara]

That's automatic, right?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. People go,

[Tom]

that was the craziest thing he said so far.

[Ethan Klein]

You ever write in cursive and then your eyes roll back? I don't know about you, but I gotta put my whole focus into that. With these people, is that they're very dumb.

[Tom]

Yeah. No, that's the starting point of all of us.

[Ethan Klein]

And unfortunately, that's the one. One of the few. One of the things in the world that you absolutely cannot fix. Now these guys.

[Tom]

I might get a drug for that at some point.

[Ethan Klein]

A lobotomy. I mean, I don't know. Like.

[Tom]

No, that goes the opposite direction.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. But if they're so dumb and we just gotta, you know, nip it in the bud.

[Tom]

Okay, well, yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

No, and they would be like. And they zone out, right? And this is called ghost writing.

[Tamara]

That's.

[Kate]

No, it's not.

[Ethan Klein]

That's not what ghost writing is.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

And so it's ghostwriting.

[Ethan Klein]

That's not what ghostwriting is.

[Tom]

Knock it up like 20 seconds.

[Zach Bernstein]

Because this.

[Kate]

This statement is, put the pin on

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

the paper and never pick it up. And they would be like. And they zone out.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ethan Klein]

Never seen that in my life.

[Tamara]

Ghost writing, that's automatic writing, Right.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

You know it. Yeah. You know it's ghost writing. But also is the term. Because ghost writing isn't just having someone write something for you. The persons that were writing the things for you are like that one. Who's that? That one dude that, like, wrote, like, all the songs. You know what I'm talking about?

[Tamara]

Oh, guy.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

He's like a. I don't know what he is like a Ukrainian dude or something. He wrote, like, most of the pop songs that we have today that are, like, super popular.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Okay. And so that dude is a channeler.

[Ethan Klein]

He practices some Ukrainian dude that wrote every pop song.

[Zach Bernstein]

Ukrainian.

[Tom]

With a bunch of question marks in the chat. So I don't. I.

[Ethan Klein]

There are a lot of very popular, like, producers involved.

[Tom]

I think he's talking about the Swedish guy. I don't know where he's getting.

[Ethan Klein]

Ukraine, which is the Swedish guy.

[Tom]

What's his name? Max Martin.

[Hila]

Yeah. Isn't he talking about intuitive writing? Like, it's like a writing exercise where you just.

[Ethan Klein]

Nice. Spin.

[Zach Bernstein]

Stream of consciousness.

[Hila]

Yes, that one.

[Zach Bernstein]

But you still lift up your pen in between sentences.

[Hila]

But why is he calling it ghost writing? Because I don't think that's what it's called.

[Ethan Klein]

I know. He's saying you zone out and the spirits are writing incantations or something.

[Zach Bernstein]

Eli, you know this is discussed every Thursday at the Jew meeting, right?

[Tom]

Wyatt,

[Ethan Klein]

you're gonna get excommunicated.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

You're not careful panic writing, which even J.K. rowling admitted to doing. That.

[Tamara]

I was gonna bring that up.

[Tom]

So the.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

What are they referring to? Wait, can we. Spine. She.

[Tom]

She goes.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Tom]

I think she's. He's saying that J.K. rowling admitted to having a ghostwriter.

[Kate]

No, no, no. I think what he's saying is that when she wrote, she said once she got the story down, she just kind of went. And they're. They're implying that she got possessed by a devil. They go into more depth. You'll see.

[Ethan Klein]

You're the fucking.

[Kate]

Okay. They know this part, by the way. All right, all right.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Like, zone out. And they, like, scribble, and then they look at their scribbles and they try to read the words out of it. That's what cursive was.

[Ethan Klein]

I'd be like. I'd be like, listen, demon, this plot point doesn't make any sense. Can we try to reach out that, please?

[Tom]

Can we try and come up with a better name for the single Asian character than Cho Chang, please?

[Ethan Klein]

Are you. Are you really telling me you wrote this whole book and then all of a sudden it just Gets resolved with some artifacts that were introduced in the last book. Like, come on, you can do better than that. Devil.

[Tom]

Yeah, come on.

[Zach Bernstein]

Devil

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

was a. What school did we send children to? Grammar school.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, is that a thing? Grammar school?

[Zach Bernstein]

Yeah, like. Like old people used to call elementary school grammar school.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, again, the world is moving in the right direction because I ain't never heard anybody called dude.

[Tom]

Grammar is done.

[Zach Bernstein]

Done.

[Ethan Klein]

Just showed your age, Tom.

[Zach Bernstein]

I know.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know about it. I'm not that old.

[Zach Bernstein]

Real quick, this is a weird observation, but where's his ass? I don't see.

[Hila]

We can't see it.

[Ethan Klein]

That's honestly a demonic question.

[Hila]

Something tells me the hair is like an overcompensation problem.

[Zach Bernstein]

You don't think there's a juicy.

[Ethan Klein]

No, he's probably got a mane on his ass.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

No. Ass. No. No. God, no. Magic. This guy has no magic.

[Tom]

This guy has no magic.

[Tamara]

Right, bro, you already did that in your children.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

To which school? To. It's like friggin Harry Potter, bro, but

[Kate]

you don't even realize it. I want you to bring up, you

[Ethan Klein]

know, how soft you have to be to be, like, scared of the Harry Potter book. Like that makes you the softest, most pathetic.

[Tom]

No, because brainwashing the youth.

[Ethan Klein]

I know, but even, like, there's got to be worse things.

[Kate]

I will say Nick brings up an excellent point by Harry Potter in a bit.

[Zach Bernstein]

Okay.

[Tom]

I'm excited.

[Ethan Klein]

They just watch.

[Tom]

As an avowed hater, I'm excited you'll

[Tamara]

see everything in the J.K. rowling thing. Because I had looked into this, I'm fully convinced that Harry Potter was directly inspired by Satan. Because when you look at J.K. rowling, she was on a podcast a long time ago, like back in the 90s, basically saying that under the spells in the 90s.

[Kate]

Yeah, no, podcast didn't start until the ipod.

[Ethan Klein]

You're so dumb. Yeah. So I was listening to podcasts when I was five. Or well, I would have been five. He probably wasn't even born then.

[Hila]

Or maybe she spoke about something back in the 90s. I don't know what he's saying.

[Ethan Klein]

She's on a podcast. Listen to him. He's a demon. He's lying to me.

[Tamara]

I say to him, because when you Look. Look at J.K. rowling. She was on a podcast a long time ago. Like back in the 90s, basically.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

He's saying that you're so stupid. This guy just thinks everything's a podcast.

[Tamara]

He's saying that a third of the spells that she wrote in the book were done through automatic writing.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Oh, really?

[Tamara]

And for those who don't know what automatic writing is, it's where you let a demon take over your body.

[Tom]

I thought that was called ghostwriting.

[Ethan Klein]

Many names for the same phenomenon, Dan.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Hila]

It's just like, I remember even at school, it was like an exercise that the teachers just told us to do it. You can call it intuitive writing or free writing. You just try not to think about it, and you just write whatever comes to mind.

[Ethan Klein]

Of course. That's why. That's why they have the kids doing it.

[Tom]

That's how the demons get in.

[Zach Bernstein]

Or you hear those stories about McCartney writing a song. In the middle of the night, he hears something and say, yeah, Michael Jackson.

[Hila]

Something like will come to his mind. That's just being creative.

[Tom]

That's Beast.

[Zach Bernstein]

He's like, being inspired.

[Tom]

That's bezel boat.

[Zach Bernstein]

What are we talking about?

[Tom]

Lord of the flies.

[Tamara]

Exactly. When you're. When you're watching these movies that are glorifying the occult and glorifying witchcraft, a lot of people think that, like, the spells are just fiction. It's just fables. But these are actually being inspired by demonic spirits. So you can participate in.

[Ethan Klein]

In it.

[Tamara]

And check this out, too. A lot of people who end up getting into the occult or a lot of people who even struggle with homosexuality, you ask them what their favorite movie was.

[Hila]

Such a struggle.

[Tamara]

Guess what they'll say.

[Ethan Klein]

He just said homosexuality. And I was like,

[Kate]

you didn't hear?

[Tom]

No, he's saying it's gay to, like, Harry Potter.

[Tamara]

Homosexuality. You ask him what their favorite movie was as a child. Guess what they'll say.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Harry Potter.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Harry.

[Ethan Klein]

Every. Every gay man, Every gay person on earth. You ask them. You ask them what's their favorite movie as a child? Well, that means you're gay.

[Hila]

Isn't Big Nick right now letting a demon speak through him? Because he's not reading something that he pre wrote. He's just vomiting about a bunch of words.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen, we have a gay person at our disposal. Kate, what was your favorite movie growing up?

[Zach Bernstein]

Oh, good question.

[Hila]

Good question.

[Ethan Klein]

He's in. She's in Discord's hallway.

[Kate]

I feel like we know hates Harry Potter. He's pretty straight.

[Tom]

I think the straightest male, Dan is very straight.

[Hila]

I feel like all this is this demon talk about these two guys. They're. They seem demonic to me. Like, if anybody is demonic in this world.

[Tom]

I agree.

[Ethan Klein]

Devil's a trickster. He does not come as he appears.

[Tom]

So true.

[Ethan Klein]

Kate's typing. So stand back and stand by no, that's. Well, Kate is also thinking about typing.

[Kate]

She's scared to admit it.

[Ethan Klein]

Her hand is trembling.

[Kate]

The demons are fighting.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Writing.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God. My favorite movie is Harry Potter. She said, I read the books in middle school and they were my favorite. Oh, my God.

[Hila]

Wait, I read it too, and it was my favorite. Does that mean I'm gay?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, you tell me. You tell me.

[Hila]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

That means you're gay. Sounds like I'm married to a gay.

[Hila]

Terrifying.

[Ethan Klein]

How do you think I feel?

[Tom]

That means very, very.

[Kate]

The books and movies make Kate gay.

[Tom]

That does sound like. Like that's what it is.

[Ethan Klein]

How come it didn't make Hila gay? Or is Ela gain?

[Tom]

I think we might need. We have some questions for Hila.

[Hila]

I might.

[Ethan Klein]

Kate says, I read the books in middle school and they're my favorite. And I also enjoyed the movies, but by that metric, AB is gayer than me.

[Tom]

Well.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, AB is definitely the gayest person, for sure.

[Zach Bernstein]

I would also like to say I've never watched a movie or read any

[Kate]

of the books, so.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, and you're straight as everybody's.

[Zach Bernstein]

Well, to. To describe why Hila is not gay. From the books. The Jew overpowers.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Zach Bernstein]

Of course.

[Ethan Klein]

That makes perfect sense.

[Tom]

He was immune.

[Kate]

Well, did you read the books in English? Hila?

[Hila]

Hebrew.

[Kate]

Oh, oh. Even more of a spell.

[Tom]

Demonic, dude.

[Kate]

OG Copy, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

You read Harry Potter in Hebrew. That's great.

[Kate]

She read the original text.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't even know if I could trust.

[Zach Bernstein]

Trust you anymore.

[Tom]

Dark Arts right there.

[Zach Bernstein]

And doesn't Hebrew read from right to left?

[Hila]

Yes, sir.

[Zach Bernstein]

It's even more of a spot.

[Tom]

That's demonic.

[Ethan Klein]

Weird. It's Wrong way.

[Tom]

Yeah, super spooky.

[Hila]

Maybe said in a random chat. Yeah, I agree, but I don't even know what he's talking about. But maybe he's talking about what you said, that he's the guest in the office. Possibly. He agrees with that.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah, he would. He would agree with Potter every time.

[Tamara]

So I feel like that was almost like a gateway.

[Ethan Klein]

A gateway.

[Tom]

Yep. He just went there. Words are power.

[Ethan Klein]

Words mean something.

[Tom]

And power.

[Ethan Klein]

Magic is gay.

[Tom]

Magic is gay.

[Ethan Klein]

And keep following that thread.

[Tamara]

And witchcraft do the math in our society. And J.K. rowling admits it out of her own mouth.

[Tom]

Mouth, dude.

[Hila]

Out of our own mouth. No way.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

So it's so involved.

[Ethan Klein]

Where did you expect her to admit it from? Her ass?

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

These guys are so funny. This is such a great. This. Honestly. This is honestly, legitimately, really good entertainment. These guys should Make a podcast together.

[Kate]

It was hard to time stamp because of the nonsense.

[Ethan Klein]

It's every. Well, everything's good.

[Kate]

Yeah,

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

it's everything, man. It's like, you know, we were just talking about, you know, Sephiroth in like the video games.

[Tom]

Oh, Shout out. Final Fantasy 7, dude.

[Ethan Klein]

One of the great villains.

[Tom]

Yeah, he's demonic as Dude.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, the hero in that story does magic.

[Tom]

They all do magic. It's super demonic. And you know what else is demonic? The fact that Sephiroth is such a beautiful man that it arose feelings in both of these guys.

[Kate]

Yep.

[Tom]

And maybe a little bit of myself too.

[Ethan Klein]

Who wasn't.

[Tom]

I had to go burn a Harry Potter book in order to straighten myself out.

[Ethan Klein]

True, he's bad boy.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Emperoth is literally derived from. He's a character in Final Fantasy and. But who's also derived from the biblical term for the Seth Roth and which is like an occultic kabbalistic thing. But people don't even know about this stuff. Like, they don't know that. Like probably these words most integrated into stuff like.

[Ethan Klein]

Have you seen all the Sepho.

[Tom]

No, just in like what he's saying of it being like. I mean this is as demonic as it gets.

[Ethan Klein]

Who doesn't want that? It appeal appeals to all sex.

[Zach Bernstein]

For sure.

[Kate]

It's demonic.

[Zach Bernstein]

I'm so hard, I can't even stand up right now.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't stand up, Dan.

[Zach Bernstein]

I can't.

[Ethan Klein]

Vulgar.

[Kate]

Can't, bro. Dan is getting risky.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

What do you mean?

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, he's fine. Sephiroth is fine as hell.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Like symbolism in Mario.

[Kate]

Mario.

[Ethan Klein]

Mario's demonic now. Mario, bro, come on, save something for us. God.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Like the checkerboard floor and all this stuff.

[Tamara]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

It's like, it's like all of this like symbolism that's like witchcraft related occultic stuff unwillingly, unknowingly absorbing. It's making you numb to this stuff. It makes you so numb to it that you don't recognize it, which dulls your spiritual awareness and senses to be able to be like, hey, that's. That's not right.

[Tamara]

Yeah, like I want to talk about symbolism for a second too.

[Tom]

Me too.

[Tamara]

Because you see a lot of people in the Hollywood industry and in the occult and it's laced with symbolism. Whether it's like the, you know, covering their. It's like whether they're covering their face with their hand and it's like the one eye symbolism or the hand signals that they do. And a lot of people don't really know what symbolism is. The symbolism can Be traced back to the Tower of Babel. Because when God confused their languages and divided them by language

[Tom]

knowledge. Oh, my God. I can't believe this is just online. About the. About the hidden symbolism here on this. I think I'm on the dark web right now on final fantasy.fandom.com. sephiroth is a plural noun in Hebrew. Oh, my God.

[Kate]

I just admit it, dude, right up front.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, that's right. Nobody. He said nobody knows with like a real.

[Tom]

No, I. Well, nobody does know. This. This is like a.

[Ethan Klein]

This is.

[Tom]

I had to get on an Onion browser to even access.

[Kate]

Zach actually sent him the link.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, really?

[Tom]

He got it at the meeting.

[Zach Bernstein]

Well, I also want to draw another conclusion. This album behind me is Kiss Love Gun, right?

[Tom]

Yeah, yeah, sure is.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, Larry.

[Tom]

Yeah, it's pretty glared, but. Yeah, we get it.

[Hila]

Hold on.

[Zach Bernstein]

Standby, let me take it out.

[Tom]

No, you. You really don't have to.

[Zach Bernstein]

Okay. Kiss Love Gun.

[Tom]

Okay, got it.

[Zach Bernstein]

What does Kiss stand for?

[Hila]

Kiss Ass.

[Zach Bernstein]

Knights in Satan's Service.

[Tom]

No way. Is that what it stands for?

[Zach Bernstein]

And what is Gene Simmons and Paul.

[Ethan Klein]

He's Jewish.

[Zach Bernstein]

They're Jews. Also, you see this house picture?

[Tom]

Kind of.

[Hila]

It's out of.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, hold on, hold on. Stand back up. Hold up. The. The record like you were doing. Lean over. Now move the record. Now move the record out of the frame and stay still. Star David.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yo.

[Kate]

My God.

[Zach Bernstein]

My point is though, who was wearing an outfit like this earlier?

[Hila]

The devil.

[Zach Bernstein]

You were my friend.

[Hila]

You were me today.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, just right now. Showing my titties. Well, I'm Jewish Jew, bro. I don't really have any way out of this, man.

[Hila]

I'm disturbing.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm

[Tamara]

communicate with one another. But they have all these different languages. So what symbolism is. Is basically them recreating the Tower of Babel language. But the language is symbolism itself. So a lot of people don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

He had no idea what he just said. You're so full of shit. You all just pretend to understand each other and then say your own bullshit. And then the other person.

[Tom]

So much of this world, it really is all of the conspiracy world. And you know, the kind of weird intersection between like the spiritual guru people and this kind of stuff. Like they'll just like ramble to each other and like there's no shot any of them know what the other thing. But they all just. Yeah, it's just not along.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what that reminds me of my own psychotic.

[Tom]

Right, exactly. It's just they're waiting for their turn to share their psychosis yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Fantastic.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tamara]

But when you see like all of these occultic people doing all of these different rituals, all of these same hand motions, this is basically the devil's plan on reuniting all of these people to rebel against God in one common language. And that's why symbolism is so big in the occult.

[Tom]

Why is vulnerable to a common language. That doesn't sound very all powerful to me at all. Everybody. If everybody speaks Spanish, he's in trouble.

[Kate]

Like

[Ethan Klein]

God. How do you say God in span? I don't know. Oh yeah, boy. Verito miyamo es dios de la morte. Be careful.

[Tom]

That's all I can say. Ethan, be careful.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen, there's nothing I can't get more demonic than already I am. So.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Yeah, that's, that's. That makes a lot of sense in a lot of ways. I could see that for sure.

[Ethan Klein]

You deliterally. That's what you say when you didn't understand anything he just said. Wow, that makes sense in so many ways. Really? How many ways? How many ways does that make sense in?

[Tom]

Count them.

[Zach Bernstein]

666 ways, bro.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Tamara]

Rebel against God in one common language. And that's why symbolism is so big in the occult.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Interesting. I've

[Ethan Klein]

mind blown.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Yeah, that's. That's. That makes a lot of sense.

[Kate]

A lot.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude, he had no clue what he just said.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Ways. I could see that for sure.

[Ethan Klein]

In a lot of ways. Yeah, tons of ways.

[Tom]

Yeah, dude, for sure.

[Ethan Klein]

It makes sense in a ton of different ways. Thousands of just ways and everything.

[Tom]

Count them. How many ways?

[Ethan Klein]

In some ways it doesn't make sense, frankly. But in a lot more ways it does.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

That's super cool.

[Ethan Klein]

You know, that's super cool. Actually. Imagine describing someone like breaking some mind bending altered reality truth where you just unlock the secrets of Satan. That's very cool.

[Tom]

Yeah, that's actually pretty cool.

[Ethan Klein]

That's actually very cool.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense in a lot of ways. I could see that for sure.

[Ethan Klein]

Zach.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yeah, I'm. I'm.

[Tom]

Do you think he's gonna pick this one apart? I'm pretty sure.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Super cool.

[Ethan Klein]

That's super cool.

[Tom]

Super cool.

[Ethan Klein]

What's cool? Demons taking over humanity, bro. You want to revise that? That's super cool.

[Zach Bernstein]

You say when you're at a party, stuck in a conversation, you zone out and they stop talking.

[Ethan Klein]

You go oh yeah, that's super cool. That's super cool. I just said my grandma's dying.

[Zach Bernstein]

My bad.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, I meant that sucks or sorry or whatever happened.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

I know you mentioned the Tower of Babel. I'll mention something too. Like, people.

[Ethan Klein]

You mentioned something. I want to mention something.

[Tom]

Is it about the Tower of Babel?

[Ethan Klein]

No, I don't think so.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Okay.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

You see the triangle eye thing that they do? They make the triangle with their hands or whatever. And so like that. That symbolism, that is actually the top of the Tower of Babel. Did you know that?

[Tamara]

I did not know that.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

That's why it's on your dollar bill.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Tom]

I did not know that.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, the top of, like an obelisk is a triangle.

[Tom]

A pyramid sing crazy. Yeah. You know the shape triangle? The most basic shape that there is with three sides.

[Ethan Klein]

Circle. It should be circle. Circles are God's shape.

[Kate]

Could it really be that simple?

[Ethan Klein]

Right. You know why triangles are evil?

[Tom]

You're so right. Because they're not circles.

[Ethan Klein]

Pointy top stabby.

[Zach Bernstein]

Also, what is the Star of David, bro?

[Ethan Klein]

Lots of points. Lots of triangles.

[Tom]

Two triangles together.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what a. You know what a. Oh, you know why the stabby? It's scary and dangerous. Like God. Like the devil. Smooth round edges. That's God. Not scary. Smooth round.

[Tom]

Safe.

[Ethan Klein]

Safe. Sick.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Our bill mate has an unfinished pyramid.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Bernstein]

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Kate]

Real quick.

[Zach Bernstein]

Where's my camera?

[Ethan Klein]

You got it?

[Hila]

Oh,

[Ethan Klein]

Tom, you want to explain why you have that?

[Hila]

What's going on there?

[Kate]

Did Ethan make you get that?

[Ethan Klein]

I did not know he had that much. Why do you have.

[Tom]

I. I'm scared.

[Tamara]

Ah.

[Ethan Klein]

Why do you have that?

[Zach Bernstein]

Don't want to talk about it right now. I think I've said too. Too much. I made some poor decisions when I was younger.

[Tom]

Should we have gotten that?

[Ethan Klein]

Cut to the TV over here.

[Tom]

Side shot, take a.

[Ethan Klein]

Just watch this. Standby. This is just on the TV. 24, standby. Oh, this is. This is post. Standby. This is on the screen. 24. Standby. Good Lord, Here we go. Bosch. That's Kelsey Gmer falling off stage.

[Zach Bernstein]

What was his last name? Gram.

[Kate]

Er.

[Hila]

Whoa. Oh, wait.

[Kate]

And guys, wait.

[Ethan Klein]

Show it.

[Tom]

Lindsay.

[Kate]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God, dude. No way.

[Kate]

I'm so scared.

[Ethan Klein]

That's. It is. It's terrifying. We. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight.

[Kate]

Oh, God.

[Zach Bernstein]

What scares me is Lindsay's ladybugs. That's what scares me the most.

[Ethan Klein]

Crawling out of his gooch and into your mouth, dude. Oh, yeah. Here, Cut the. To the. Cut to the stage, please. Stand by. 24. Seven on feed. Watch. I don't know how that guy was unharmed, but. Shout out to America. But he was he was protected by God.

[Tamara]

Tower of Babel.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

That's the original Tower of Babel that they're. That they're illustrating.

[Tamara]

So it's not the pyramids.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

The Tower of Babel was a pyramid, really, but it was unfinished. And so that's why there's an unfinished Tower of Babel on your dollar bill.

[Ethan Klein]

This has 170, 000 views, which is. Which seems pretty good. Let's read the comments. Thanks for having me on. It was fun. Oh, wait, this is fun to you, Demon eraser. I'm sorry, what's fun about this conversation?

[Tom]

Yeah, what. Why are you having so much fun?

[Ethan Klein]

You should set a prayer at the opening of your podcast. Good. Good idea.

[Tom]

That's a really good idea.

[Ethan Klein]

I've been off on meds for four years. Died four times. Last time I used. I have not shook nicotine. Well, you. I have. Listen, buddy, let me give you some advice. Get back on it, because this podcast ain't gonna help. God has some kind of plan for me. He has to.

[Tom]

He died four times.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Interesting.

[Hila]

I'm shocked at the amount of views that this has.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yeah, for sure.

[Hila]

I didn't know that.

[Ethan Klein]

As a Christian, we need to be seriously careful who we choose to date.

[Tom]

Jesus.

[Ethan Klein]

I love how Nick looks everything up on the spot. You can tell he's hungry for the truth. Keep it up, bro.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Interesting.

[Ethan Klein]

We need part two. Agree. As a pastor prayer meeting this morning, I was telling all the pastor in my cities that when I got called to ministry, the very first place the Lord wanted me to minister was to my family, reconcile my marriage, be a good husband, you're loving, blah, blah, blah. I don't know if that has to do. Super interesting. Mind blown. The cigarette symbology. Mind blown. So crazy.

[Tom]

It's so crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

We do need a part two, though.

[Tom]

It's crazy.

[Kate]

I'm worried they're calling it a podcast. Yeah, it was crazy.

[Tom]

Yeah, right? I thought cast was demonic.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Interesting. Yeah, that's. That's. That makes a lot of sense in of a lot, lot of ways. I could see that for sure. That's super cool.

[Tom]

That's super cool.

[Ethan Klein]

I got to get these guys to call in. What do I got to do to get them to call in, man?

[Zach Bernstein]

Renounce your Judaism.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll renounce it. Well, listen, I'll do it. I'll do it.

[Zach Bernstein]

You have to uncircumcise yourself.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll regrow my foreskin.

[Zach Bernstein]

It stem cells.

[Ethan Klein]

No, there's exercises you can do. There's a whole movement.

[Tom]

There's exercises you can do to regrow.

[Ethan Klein]

There's men that want to regrow their foreskin, so they do all kinds of skin stretching. And that doesn't sound like that.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Interesting. Yeah, that's.

[Kate]

That makes, I think a lot of people.

[Ethan Klein]

A lot of them have found success in doing that.

[Jeff]

Really?

[Kate]

Amazon sells silicon foreskins.

[Tom]

You could buy.

[Ethan Klein]

What does that mean?

[Zach Bernstein]

How do you know that they sell

[Kate]

silicon like you can put on your penis.

[Zach Bernstein]

Wait, why do you know that?

[Tom]

Wait, wait, why wouldn't he know that? That's his job to know that.

[Zach Bernstein]

Took a walk on the wild side one day.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, how does it work? How does that work?

[Kate]

I can't test it out myself, but I'm open to bring into the office and. And put on the table.

[Tom]

I'll take it off.

[Ethan Klein]

You don't have to show it. I'm just curious. How does that work? Let's see.

[Kate]

I don't know.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Interesting.

[Ethan Klein]

Silicon. Silicon foreskin.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Kate]

I can't test out the silicon foreskin. I'm sorry.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, that's weird, bro. What the hell?

[Zach Bernstein]

Amazon?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. And it looks like foreskin. I don't think I can show. I'll put it on the screen so you can see it, but don't show it. Nate.

[Kate]

But that.

[Zach Bernstein]

That wouldn't be a effective.

[Tom]

Oh my God.

[Ethan Klein]

I genuinely don't know why you.

[Kate]

Oh, there's different types. Look at that.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow.

[Tom]

Different shapes.

[Zach Bernstein]

Like you'd lose sensitivity.

[Kate]

Like that's what you think.

[Ethan Klein]

What the is this?

[Hila]

What is that?

[Ethan Klein]

That's like the silicon realistic penis sleeve with testicle ring and vein tips.

[Tom]

A ring? Dude, sleeve?

[Hila]

Why do you need a sleeve?

[Zach Bernstein]

So pen the fourth picture, fifth picture count is a circle. Doesn't fall off.

[Tom]

This is.

[Kate]

Wait, how much skin did they take off?

[Ethan Klein]

My God. This is a whole vertical. What the hell?

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

Look at this.

[Tom]

We did get sucked into this for a number of reasons, but mostly cuz the audience can't see what we're talking about.

[Ethan Klein]

This is a rabbit hole, guys.

[Tom]

Yeah, no, this is a lot.

[Zach Bernstein]

Oh, this is a rabbi hole, dude.

[Tom]

Nice.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh my God.

[Tom]

All right, listen, Ethan.

[Ethan Klein]

Why did you tell me that? Nate.

[Tom]

Yeah, now he's.

[Kate]

He's my. I'm part researcher. I see my job.

[Tom]

It's literally his job.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't make me turn it. Don't make me stop watching this.

[Tom]

Well, we're.

[Zach Bernstein]

We're over.

[Tom]

We do need to head towards wrap up.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Interesting.

[Ethan Klein]

Obviously we're trying to fucking cover for the demons.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

We're gonna.

[Tom]

No, I was gonna suggest. We're gonna have to come back to this. We gotta keep watching this on the next episode.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Kate]

Because this is.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't want to stop.

[Tom]

No, I agree.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't want to close my eyes. I don't want to.

[Kate]

Because, I mean, some banger highlights, if you want to check those out. Or we could save it.

[Tom]

Well, we're at 3:40, right?

[Ethan Klein]

I'm gonna watch this whole thing.

[Tom]

We do have. Let me just watch the show.

[Ethan Klein]

More minutes. Two more minutes.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

The triangle finishing the Tower of Babel. That's what that is. They're saying we're the finishing piece.

[Tamara]

That's insane, bro.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Yeah, the symbolism is like.

[Ethan Klein]

He's literally just calling him crazy. He's like, you're crazy, bro. You need help.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Once you see it, you're like, dude, this makes perfect sense.

[Unknown Male Speaker 2]

See it after that.

[Kate]

Yeah, I know, right?

[Tom]

Makes perfect sense.

[Ethan Klein]

This guy legit has like a personality disorder. Like a paranoid. Yeah, personality disorder. And it's crazy how the Internet's so interesting how you can just monetize like a severe mental illness and then everybody else with the same severe mental illness just pops on in there and just everybody. It's just so sick.

[Tom]

That's how we built our audience, man.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Thank God for the Internet, eh?

[Tom]

I like Dan. Dan's cool.

[Zach Bernstein]

Thanks.

[Ethan Klein]

Queso shout out to all the severely mentally ill in the audience.

[Jeff]

Basketball.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, don't distract me. I need more of this, though.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

That's the Tower B. And that's why there's pyramids all over the world, bro. Like once they. When they Once God divided the language.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, I mean, Mexico and Egypt all over the world. I don't know if I'm missing some, but that's the only pyramids I know.

[Zach Bernstein]

They're in South America.

[Tom]

There's a couple other scattered ones.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tom]

I mean, Mexico, obviously is a big one. And other. Other parts of Central America. I think there's like some type of pyramids that have been found in North America too. Yeah, interesting.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, Mexico's in North America.

[Tom]

Oh, I'm sorry, you're right. I meant just in the United States.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

That's super cool. Interesting.

[Ethan Klein]

Terrifying.

[Tom]

So you got that.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Everyone kept building their little Towers of Babel. That's why you see pyramids everywhere. Pyramids all over the world.

[Ethan Klein]

All Towers of Babel, basically.

[Tamara]

The pyramids that they were building in Egypt, those were like a reconstruction of

[Kate]

those towers, some kind of Tower Babel

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

system that they were building.

[Tom]

And a lot of people want to

[Ethan Klein]

go, I don't know, they were power generated power generators. He's like, no, the Reasonable one that the only lightly paranoidly delusional mentally ill think was power generators. But that's for the fish or whatever.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

No, they're not. There's nothing about power generating going on there. And they weren't.

[Ethan Klein]

That conspiracy is ridiculous.

[Tom]

He says absurd.

[Ethan Klein]

It's absurd rules.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

We didn't find bodies in there. We found death related stuff there. But I'll tell you what the death related stuff was. It wasn't the death related stuff that you think it was sacrifice. Yeah, there was human sacrifice stuff going on at those towers, at this. At the Egyptian pyramids. And we know this because there's blood pools in front of the Egyptian.

[Tom]

I was right. There's a.

[Kate]

That are little in.

[Tom]

In Memphis, Tennessee.

[Ethan Klein]

Native American.

[Tom]

Yeah, there's this huge pyramid.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, oh, there's one in Vegas too, now that you mentioned it.

[Hila]

Right.

[Ethan Klein]

Pro bastia. That is demonic. That is demonic. That ain't right. That ain't right.

[Tom]

That ain't right at all.

[Hila]

It's a Babel tower.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen, if pyramids were more evil and a big scheme by the devil to get you in there, the Luxor would be way nicer. That place.

[Tom]

Yeah, it's a dump.

[Ethan Klein]

You cannot pay me into that hole.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Yeah, yeah, that's. That makes a lot of sense in a lot of ways. I can see that for sure.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, it is super, super cool.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Interesting.

[Ethan Klein]

And it makes a lot of sense in so many ways. And it's super cool.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Shallow like pool waterways. Okay. That are also existing in the Aztec space. And we know what the Aztecs use those same blood pools for around their pyramids. They slit the throats, drained the blood, filled those pools. Filled those pools with the blood of sacrificed people. And they would channel demons or gods or entities to come through the blood to speak to them. Where do you think they got their perfect calendar from? You think they just got it?

[Hila]

Just.

[Kate]

Why do you think they're practicing sacrificing people?

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, hold on. The devil gave us a perfect calendar? I guess that doesn't sound bad. Like he's actually giving us good gadgets. He's like, you know what? I curse you with perfect calendar. I curse you with being able to track the harvest every year. I will ruin your civilization and all of humanity with perfect calendar.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Well, you did.

[Kate]

Oh, let's go, Bob.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

For funsies, right? Like. No, dude, they were doing it.

[Tom]

I do it.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Knowledge and understand, by the way.

[Tom]

Well, it was very impressive for an ancient people. I'm pretty sure it was not a perfect calendar.

[Ethan Klein]

He said it was.

[Tom]

Okay, well, Dan, you're stupid. Maybe I'm wrong.

[Ethan Klein]

Back up, dude. You're out of your element.

[Tom]

No, I think it was, like, really impressively accurate for people that were just winging it by looking at the stars. But in terms of, like, perfect, That's. I don't think so.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not what he said. Okay, well, yeah. Did they have tourbillons back then? No.

[Tom]

Yeah, that's funny.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

This perfect Earth called Terra Prada that they just basically didn't have to farm.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

And that knowledge came from Kuku Khan.

[Ethan Klein]

That sounds like some silliness right there.

[Tom]

It might be a real thing.

[Kate]

I don't know. That's a Mayan God.

[Tom]

Okay, There you go.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Came from the stars. Left on the stars or came.

[Tom]

Wait, isn't the one that spelled it? I thought it was K. Yeah.

[Kate]

Is that a different one?

[Tom]

Is he just saying it wrong? Okay, that would. That tracks with everything.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow, that's so interesting. Wow. I never thought about interesting. Yeah, that makes sense in so many ways. A lot of different ways.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

That's super cool.

[Ethan Klein]

That's super cool. Super interesting. Lots of ways.

[Jeff]

Sacrifices.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

That's why they were doing it. They weren't just doing it because they're like, oh, yeah, this sounds fun, guys.

[Kate]

Let's slit everyone's throat.

[Tamara]

Right?

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

You want to get your throat slit next week, right?

[Kate]

No.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

They were killing people in exchange for knowledge. This has been the pattern society has gone through for centuries. Like, we have always.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, if we're getting knowledge that's advancing our.

[Tom]

It's cursed knowledge, though. It's cursed knowledge.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, that's a small price to pay. A few sacrifices, select for a perfect calendar.

[Tom]

I say slip the throats. Let them of those.

[Ethan Klein]

Let them bleed. Let's get those.

[Hila]

See what happened to Tai Lopez. Knowledge can be cursed.

[Tom]

Oh, my God. You think that's what happened to him? Yeah, knowledge.

[Ethan Klein]

That's a good ass point. You want some knowledge?

[Tom]

Not too much.

[Kate]

You're in my garage.

[Ethan Klein]

You should have stayed in his garage.

[Tom]

That's what happens when you read 30 bucks a day. Let's not talk about me or whatever it was.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, 100 bucks a day for knowledge.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Yeah, it was in exchange the. The fallen angels.

[Ethan Klein]

Nate gave me a stop point when they start talking about cigarettes.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

That yo, hey, give us your women and we'll give you information.

[Ethan Klein]

Done. You know what Dangerfield said? Take my wife, please. He was trying to get demonic technology.

[Tom]

Absolutely.

[Ethan Klein]

But he was doing it on behalf of all of us. It's a small price to pay and get.

[Tom]

And you know what? You Know what religion Ronnie Dangerfield was you Checkmate, Zach.

[Ethan Klein]

It always lines up. Take my wife, please. Demons

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

give you information. That's been what the angels and the demons have been doing this whole time. The fallen angels, it's just progressed. It's changed. The sacrifice, Sacrifices, they're all. They're all essentially right there in front of your face, but you don't see them anymore, right?

[Jeff]

Have you.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Have I. Have I told you about the cigarette stuff? The cigarette sacrifice?

[Tom]

I gotta show you a video.

[Kate]

I gotta send you this video or this.

[Tom]

So let's. Let's.

[Kate]

Let's stop there, pull up the graph, and then we can stop to give a tease.

[Tom]

Okay? A tease for next year.

[Ethan Klein]

Tune in guys on Monday.

[Kate]

Yes. I'm going to airdrop it to you, okay?

[Ethan Klein]

Airdrop. I mean, you think a human made airdrop? Apple Adam. Where was there Adam and Eve?

[Tom]

And what happened when Eve ate from the apple in the Garden of Eden Sacrifice. She was in him were cast out forever.

[Ethan Klein]

And then we later sacrificed her so that we could learn how to make up app.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Interesting.

[Ethan Klein]

We sacrificed so we could get ways

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

we go.

[Tamara]

Okay, so what is this?

[Kate]

Okay, what the.

[Hila]

Is this?

[Kate]

So we can stop here. We'll find out.

[Tom]

All right? We'll find out next time.

[Ethan Klein]

Camel. Is this American Spirit?

[Kate]

You guys want to tune in on Monday to find out? Definitely.

[Tom]

Hey, by the way, shout out to American Spirit Blues.

[Zach Bernstein]

Oh, yeah.

[Kate]

Are you sure you want a shot?

[Ethan Klein]

Listen, I really, really, really want this guy to call him. Please, please, please.

[Tom]

Demon Eraser.

[Ethan Klein]

You're never. You are not going to get a chance to spread your. I mean, listen, if you could switch one or even two people in our audience, isn't it worth it?

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Interesting.

[Tamara]

So true.

[Ethan Klein]

Interesting. Makes sense in a lot of different ways.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

That makes a lot of sense in a lot of ways.

[Tom]

A lot of ways.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

So super cool.

[Tom]

All right, listen, we gotta go, but let me thank a handful of the super chats. I'll. I'll try and rush this as quickly as I can, and then we're gonna send it over to After Dark for some more fun.

[Kate]

Thank you for understanding, Dan. I really appreciate that, man.

[Tom]

You got it, man. Anytime. I know quite a few former DCI drum majors out here in Ohio. If you need any perspective. That's from Napoleon.

[Kate]

Yo.

[Tom]

Knows Poly and himself. Incredible.

[Ethan Klein]

He's swimming. I'm surprised he has time doing all the swimming.

[Tom]

I appreciate the offer, but clearly. Clearly I knew what. What I was doing. I don't need any outside assistance for that after those perfect scores.

[Zach Bernstein]

Were you Good with your paradiddles. Dan on the snare.

[Tom]

I wasn't a drummer. I played the trombone.

[Ethan Klein]

Never.

[Zach Bernstein]

Never tried the drums.

[Tom]

Actually did a couple times just for the hell of it. Mostly kit, though.

[Tamara]

Though.

[Tom]

Not like doing like snare and like marching jumps. Emily said don't feel bad. I tried out for Color Garden. I didn't make it. Peace and love. I'm sorry that happened to you, Emily. That's tough. That's real tough. Ginger Snap said two weeks sober. Two months away from finishing my master's degree in cyber security. Thanks for the content and love. The whole crew. Can I get a unique sound bite that's not used often?

[Ethan Klein]

Zach, interesting demonic request.

[Zach Bernstein]

I gotta be fucking quick with this one.

[Ethan Klein]

That's a demonic request, bro.

[Tom]

All right?

[Kate]

There's.

[Zach Bernstein]

There's a too many of them. Jesus Christ.

[Tom]

All right, you think on that. I'll read this next one from Zoe. Hey, fam. My soul dog.

[Kate]

What was that?

[Tamara]

Hi.

[Hila]

Hi.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

What is that?

[Zach Bernstein]

That's you.

[Tom]

That's me.

[Jeff]

Oi.

[Tom]

Okay, well, there you go. Thank you. Hey, fam. I lost my soul dog.

[Kate]

Lola.

[Tom]

Had to be put to sleep tomorrow at 8 years old after a long with cancer. Can I get a shout out for my baby? She's watched every episode of the POD since I've had her. My true best friend forever. That's from Zoe. I'm very sorry, Zoe.

[Ethan Klein]

So sorry.

[Tom]

It's really tough. That's not fair.

[Ethan Klein]

Aid is way too young.

[Hila]

I hope that at least out of AI we will get medicine to keep dogs alive forever. Maybe. Oh, maybe a. I can help.

[Tom]

Okay. That's a noble. That's a noble wish. I can get. I can get on board with that. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. I'm so sorry though. I love you enough. So sorry for your life.

[Tom]

Well, don't. Don't cheer up yet because I have another one from Aspen. Lost my soul dog, Gucci this morning. She was 15. Spent over half my life by my side. We watch H3 together since vape Nation days. Could the crew please give my sweet Gucci girl a shout out? Peace and love. That's from Aspen. Bentley. Very sorry. Shout out to Gucci.

[Ethan Klein]

Shout out Gucci. Live 15 good long years, though.

[Kate]

There you go.

[Tom]

That's good.

[Ethan Klein]

That was a nice. That was a nice run you guys had.

[Hila]

It's not long enough, but it's good. Yeah, that's good.

[Tom]

Mocha kitten said Elisha was bold, not God. Lol. Elisha isn't God. He's just a prophet of God and called down curses. We know you seem confused. I know that you're trying to educate us, but you seem confused. We know that Elisha is not God.

[Zach Bernstein]

I set a place mat in the open chair every passage over for Elijah

[Tom]

for his bald ass.

[Zach Bernstein]

Then the bear.

[Tom]

I can say that I have the

[Kate]

pass you sent the bear.

[Tom]

The bear. The bears won't come for me. Sound bite request for Zack in Willy Wonka. There's a line where Jean Wilder goes, button, button, button.

[Kate]

Who's got the button?

[Tom]

You already had it.

[Zach Bernstein]

Damn.

[Tom]

That may come in handy from time to time. Well, he's already on it.

[Ethan Klein]

That's the elevator.

[Zach Bernstein]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

And spaghetti Legs don't even him $50 for that. And he already had it, so.

[Ethan Klein]

That's easy.

[Tom]

I mean, if you want to charge.

[Ethan Klein]

That's a value right there. Yeah. Then you have to wait. Okay.

[Hila]

Ready? Legs.

[Tom]

My boyfriend and I just bought our first house together. And first house in general for both of us. That's from Fem.

[Ethan Klein]

Congratulations.

[Tom]

Why we interest. Sorry. That's an interesting. Interesting name. Congratulations.

[Ethan Klein]

Different ways.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Congrats.

[Tom]

Hila. Can you please restock the teddy? Fresh. Never Give Up Turtle Long Sleeve tea. I was super broke when it dropped and I'm so sad I missed it.

[Hila]

Okay, okay.

[Tom]

She'll consider it.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Consider it. Let's see. Hi, family. My wonderful partner Ron is about to run 114 miles across the Jurassic Coast. The Jurassic Coast.

[Kate]

Alan.

[Tom]

Alan. He's doing it for a great charity. He doesn't know I'm doing this, but can anyone give. It would be so cool. Well, I don't know what the Jurassic coast is, but I'll look into it.

[Zach Bernstein]

Sounds like it's one of those super marathons.

[Tom]

Though an area in England you all have a coast called the Jurassic Coast. It's kind of badass. Well, good luck to him. And I hope. I hope he. Hope he succeeds. And I hope they raise lots of money. I like Dan. Dan's cool. Ly said. I feel so lucky to have a show that brings me so much joy. I'm even luckier. I don't have to ask for a big Nick sound bite today. No, you don't. You got plenty.

[Ethan Klein]

Amen.

[Tom]

We got. We got our helping taking the bar exam to become a licensed next week. The show has helped me maintain my sanity. You know. Let's go. While studying through law school and this summer. Thank you, guys. That's from J.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Man.

[Tom]

Well, good luck. I hope you pass. And happy. Happy to be of service. Let's see. Kristen, Joy, following up on my super chat From Monday. Baby Cameron was born yesterday on Dan's birthday. Oh, yeah, I remember. They donated and said that she was going into labor. Yeah, well, congratulations, baby. Camera's here. They were born yesterday on Dan's birthday. He is perfect. He is a perfect, happy, healthy human.

[Hila]

Congratulations.

[Tom]

We are so in love. Thank you for the advice and support, fam.

[Tamara]

Family.

[Tom]

That's right. Kristen. Joy.

[Hila]

That's amazing.

[Tom]

Very nice. Very nice, Cameron. Happy birthday, Cameron.

[Hila]

Correction for Zach about his Jew credentials.

[Tom]

Oh, they're coming for you.

[Hila]

The chair is for Elijah Eliao. And the bald guy is Alicia.

[Zach Bernstein]

That's a Dan up.

[Hila]

Oh, that's a Dan up.

[Tom]

Well, I was just reading the super chat. Maybe I pronounced it wrong. I'm sorry. Sorry.

[Zach Bernstein]

I'm sorry as well.

[Tom]

I'm sorry. Please forgive me. God. Allow me into the cue card.

[Zach Bernstein]

Has been revoked for three days, but

[Tom]

getting a point three day suspension. Let's see. So Memphis lore after the Pyramid arena closed is sat empty for years and the city chose a Bass Pro contract rather than turn it into an aquarium and a museum like the residents wanted. Crazy. I didn't know that lore about the Bass Pro pyramid. Well, yeah, I mean, an aquarium probably would have been cooler, but at least you have a pyramid. Still trying to look on the bright side. Could have no pyramid and then why would anybody talk about Memphis? You know what I mean? It's kind of all you guys got. No offense. Brutal, but I mean, it is, right? What else is in Memphis?

[Hila]

I have no idea.

[Ethan Klein]

The Graceland Barbecue. Feet off a be. I was walking in Memphis.

[Hila]

Right.

[Ethan Klein]

You could really tell the way I feel. There's the song. Walking in Memphis.

[Zach Bernstein]

Graceland.

[Hila]

Yeah.

[Zach Bernstein]

Paul Simon, Graceland. Great album.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

All kinds of stuff going on there.

[Tamara]

All right.

[Tom]

Shout out Memphis. My bad.

[Zach Bernstein]

It's where Paul Simon was born. In Graceland. Oh, no, no, he wasn't.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

No, he wasn't.

[Zach Bernstein]

But what is he, Zach?

[Tom]

He was raised by a Jew.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Zach Bernstein]

Thanks, Tom.

[Tom]

I posted ABH3 saving my life. Anyone see it?

[Hila]

No.

[Tom]

No, I don't know what you're referring to on the subreddit. Oh, they say been on SSRIs for a year and want to thank Ethan. Oh, it would mean a lot if they read it. Also getting an H3 tattoo soon. Any funny suggestions? I don't feel comfortable making any suggestions on tattoos for anybody. But I'm glad of my face. Yeah, just put Tamara's face.

[Hila]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Bernstein]

Don't actually.

[Tamara]

Please.

[Ethan Klein]

But I am actually really glad that you started that and it's working for you.

[Hila]

Yeah,

[Tom]

we have another one from OB24 saying, Guys, I just realized something. In Latin, Harry Potter means, I pledge my loyalty to the eternal servitude of the glorious demon lord Basil Bubble. Maybe this has some hidden meaning. Question mark.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Interesting.

[Tom]

Maybe. Fun fact, Balenciaga. I originally spelled Balenciaga. Spelled differently, obviously is of Basque origin. And Basque language, straight up, has no known connections to any other language in the world. I'm Basque. I do know about that. It's a super unique language. That. That is not have any cousin languages anywhere else.

[Zach Bernstein]

The Basque people have unique DNA too, don't they, dad?

[Tom]

That I don't know. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Are they Nephilim?

[Jeff]

Are they.

[Tom]

Maybe they're Nephilim, dude.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Interesting.

[Ethan Klein]

This is. Check out the gang, bro.

[Hila]

Wow.

[Tom]

Yo, badasses.

[Hila]

Right there.

[Tom]

Yes. That's looking good.

[Hila]

That's awesome.

[Tom]

Let's see. Latin, Hebrew, Arabic, and once again, Aramaic and Greek get forgotten. So true. That's what the Bibles were like actually written in, right? Mostly those two languages.

[Ethan Klein]

Google it, I guess. Google it? I don't know.

[Tom]

And finally, this is a troll comment tactic. Turtle Dan versus Tom Dome polish segment. When I have a professional orbital polisher that can make even the roughest surfaces glass. Like with the right wax, control post and lubricants. Love you guys, Papa. Bless. Well, that sounds dangerous. First of all, that's like to polish a. Like a bowling ball. I'm not sticking my head in that.

[Zach Bernstein]

No, I have a buffer at home for my.

[Tom]

No, we ain't doing that. We ain't doing that.

[Kate]

Let's try.

[Ethan Klein]

We should sho. Shine your domes.

[Zach Bernstein]

Happening.

[Ethan Klein]

Anyways, I would do it.

[Tom]

Thank you to everybody who donated. We have to go. We've gone way over and we got to send it over to After Dark, but I appreciate all your donations and

[Hila]

thank you so much.

[Tom]

Thank you. We'll be back for a members EP with the crew tomorrow. So, Ethan, I'm gonna send it on

[Ethan Klein]

back to you right now. Thanks, Dan. Thanks for setting that all up for me there. As the man was saying, tune in tomorrow. Do you guys know what you're doing for the crew membership? Whatever it is, it's gonna be fantastic.

[Tom]

We were cooking up a pretty fun idea.

[Ethan Klein]

It's gonna be phenomenal. Yeah, whatever.

[Tom]

I don't want to commit some. Not gonna say, but I think we. I think we're gonna have a lot of fun tomorrow.

[Ethan Klein]

So there that is. And then on Friday, although again, me and either will be gone, there'll be an After Dark at the regular slot. So tune into that. There'll be fun content for you all week long. And we'll be back on Monday for another week of a fantastic shows. But hey, don't go away, because guess what? There's a great, beautiful episode of After Dark coming up next. What are we talking about today? I don't see anything.

[Hila]

David Pakman and Hassan.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah. Oh, actually, I'm super. I'm plugged into that story. David Pakman just lightly made fun of Hassan's Mao suit, and now they're, like, trying to ruin his life. Typical business. But Kate's gonna cover that for us, so I look forward to hearing her talk about that. Anywho. Hey, guys, thanks for watching. Appreciate it. We'll see you in next time. Bye.

[Hila]

Bye.