Revealing Our $600k Studio - H3 Show #284

Summary

H3 Podcast Episode #284: Revealing Our $600K Studio

Date: July 14, 2026
Host: Ethan Klein (+ Hila & the H3 crew)

---

Episode Overview

In this milestone episode, Ethan, Hila, and the full H3 crew triumphantly return to podcasting after a break, broadcasting from their stunning brand new $600,000 studio. The show is a high-energy mix of gratitude, behind-the-scenes studio reveals, personal updates from the crew, playful roasts, and H3’s classic absurdist humor. The team celebrates everyone’s hard work and gives fans a detailed visual and emotional tour of the new space—complete with custom set pieces, upgraded lighting, and creative design input from professional friends and the crew who all poured themselves into the project.

Beyond the studio, the episode includes updates on the crew’s vacations, wild stories about concerts, Disney World, viral TikToks, and a typically wild table of segments from fireworks fails to political death conspiracies. There are candid moments, inside jokes, and a lot of love for each other and the community as H3 opens their next chapter.

---

Main Segments & Timestamps

1. Welcome Back & Studio Reveal (00:00–18:53)

• Celebration of the New Studio
  Ethan, Hila, and the crew open by expressing gratitude for the fans’ patience and for the break, then heap praise on Dan (Studio Chief) and collaborators Nate, Zach, Love, Tamara, and Cam.

  • “Special shout out to my boys, Nate and Zach and Love... but yeah, I've been cracking at it basically this whole time that we were on break.” —Dan [01:01]

• Tour & Design Details

  • Custom stop-motion backgrounds created by Tamara and Cam (nature scenes, “mixed media”, ‘ad city’ in the distance)
  • Hila’s yet-to-arrive decorations; shelves set to be filled up and “lit with some nice lights”
  • Ethan: “We have a stage area here for guests or bands or games or whatever.” [07:51]
  • Shoutouts to Gabe, Kate, and especially to Ben (TechniDesign) and his creative partner Michael Heller for professional set support (“...top of his field, refused payment, helped out an immense amount…” [18:20])
  • Puppet-theater banter with crew: coasters on the new “stainable” wood desk, and “respecting the wood”.

• Crew Playfulness
  Gabe’s return (“Playa shirt on,” jokes about player/playa status [03:25]), zany banter about lighting making Ethan look “younger”, and glowed-up shots of the hosts.

---

2. Studio Lighting, Set Features, and Production Upgrades (16:32–18:53)

• New lighting effects (“God shot”, adjustable colors for bits/segments)
• “Big, beautiful desk” with activity space
• Library of inside jokes and visual bits; playful faux-Illuminati references

---

3. Life Updates—The Crew’s Breaks (24:06–46:57)

Each crew member rates their time off on a 1-10 scale; highlights include:

• Gabe: Spent quality time with his dad (helped post-surgery, casino trips, family bonding)
• Zach: Chilled in San Diego, family time, watching World Cup, guitars, and Lego talk
• Nate: Parenting, milestone with daughter Mia starting to talk
• Dan: Set build, sweltering NYC trip ruined by “historic heat wave”
  • “All my worst fears about New York have been confirmed. Awful place. Hell on earth.” —Dan [45:17]
• Love: Pokemon card collecting, standing in lines, nostalgia
• AB & Lena: Family time in Dearborn, house flood/disrepair, summer school woes, AB catches a child predator ([51:05]), "house falling apart" [50:27]

Classic Quotes:

• “You had to walk a whole hallway just to figure out, oh, that’s not going where I need.” —Hila [73:21]
• “I had to drive my dad to the casino a few times...that’s what he loves.” —Gabe [24:33]

---

4. Sponsors & Cat Litter Tech (31:08–36:54)

• Whiskers Litter Robot: Staff genuine testimonials, extended discussion of this “automatic kitty litter box,” plus wild asides about cat allergies and bizarre cat food science
  • “It weighs your cat and tells you whether your cats have gone off in weight...” —Love [33:20]

---

5. Crew Chatter, Roasts & Quick Segments (39:08–56:51)

• Banter about audience responses, Ethan’s look, new set controversy/history
• Ethan’s luxury watch “Tiffany blue” color debate (“No, it’s not. It’s made of platinum. What’s more masculine?” [27:52]), playful crew call-outs for “feminine” tastes
• Discussions about hands looking “masculine”, crew opinion battles, and prior set change trauma
• Flirting, poking fun, and debates about vacation quality
• Introduction of new recurring segments and schedule changes (see [82:28] for new weekly structure)

---

6. Disney World & Vacation Rants (56:51–73:34)

• Family Disney Trip Recap:
  Hot weather, broken AC, hotel “for transient drug addicts,” food woes, rain with no cover or plan, Disney LA vs Disney World debate, new ride reviews (Pandora/Avatar, Guardians), funniest character breakfast stories, Tigger/Tigger joke anxiety
  • “Why does dad get the big piece of chicken? You know why.” —Ethan [07:36]
  • “They offered us these plastic ponchos. When we got there, I was like, oh, I don’t care if I get a little wet on Splash Mountain… I didn’t even realize what it was for.” —Ethan [61:07]
  • “I just felt like a buffet hostage!” —Hila [74:19]

---

7. Internet News & Absurdist Headlines (81:14–110:54)

• Mitch McConnell Death Conspiracy:
  Wild speculation after his absence (“photo proof of life”), dissection of possible AI/Photoshop artifacts, reference to “Dave” (the film), and Kentucky puns
  • “I'm going on the record. This photo is AI generated. He's on the record.” —Ethan [97:59]
• Lindsey Graham Death & Outed by Ex Trans Worker:
  Reading eulogies and discussing hypocrisy, gender, and viral confessionals ([107:25])
• Chinese Girlfriend TikTok:
  Infectious new memed song, call-in ambitions, playful queries about his love life ([176:23])

---

8. Viral Clips, Fireworks Fails & World News (158:03–175:47)

• Fireworks Mayhem:
  Wild 4th of July fireworks videos, “patriotic sparklers” setting trees on fire, Russian box-firework chaos, upside-down mortars blowing up in the sand
  • “That's what America's all about right there in a nutshell: drop the bomb.” —Ethan [160:50]
• War as Spectacle:
  Russian military training video fails, smooth segue to Ukraine war stats (losses, drone warfare)
  • “Average of 20 minutes on the front line before you die.” —Ethan [174:44]

---

9. Internet Culture & H3 Antics (189:08–245:45)

• Crew shenanigans:
  Smelling your own poop (the “Harley confession”), bidet talk, wiper tribalism (“front wipers and back wipers”), and gross-out polling [144:03]
  • “You know what? It’s AI for sure. That photo is AI.” —Ethan [97:59]
• Pooping at the Concert Viral Story:
  In-depth breakdown, behind-the-scenes, legal theories on distress lawsuits, audience code of conduct
  • “Never trust a fart at a concert!” —witness [200:40]
• Keemstar’s Wedding:
  Fake objections at weddings, the importance of the bald dome, crew pranking David’s upcoming wedding
• Boogie + Ricky Berwick’s Road Trip:
  Eating pizza with reckless abandon, cracked veneers, and border crossings

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tamara on the set art:
  “It’s all mixed media. The vision of Tamara and Cam...a beautiful nature setting…” [02:27]

• Dan’s brutal honesty:
  “You look old. Why are you being so passionate about this, Dan?... I just tell it as it is.” [10:19]

• Gabe on dating:
  “She brings me breakfast or always asks me can I do your laundry? I say, yeah, sure… Perfect. I call that appreciation.” [04:22]

• Ethan on set upgrades:
  “I've been suffering from poor lighting because we had a green screen behind me. Now that we have a big, beautiful, practical set, the green screen is gone…” [09:55]

• Harley’s confession:
  “One of the first times I got high, I took a shit, wiped my ass, and instinctually brought it up to my face and I stopped—it hit me, what am I doing?” [139:34]

• Disney World Recap
  “They do this thing at Disney World where they spread all the good rides out across the parks. If you want Star Wars World, you gotta go to Hollywood Studios. Like, why you even trying to compete in that space?” [58:36]

• On U.S. Fireworks Culture:
  “Somebody in chat said we are way too reckless for not having free healthcare.” [169:31]

• Ethan on Orlando:
  “There should be nothing built there. And the only reason people go to Orlando is to go to Disney World…” [69:35]

• On Pooping at Concerts:
  “Number two should be the first rule, frankly. Don’t shit on the floor.” [203:50]

• Jay Shetty running joke:
  “I'm over the Shetty.” [21:47]

---

New Weekly H3 Show Schedule (announced at [82:28])

• Monday: Traditional H3 Show
• Tuesday: True Crime Tuesday (“True Twos” with Kate, Harley, and crew)
• Wednesday: H3XL (combined extended episode w/ team, segments from Kate & Harley)
• Thursday: Members-Only episode
• Friday: Double Header: H3 + After Dark, back-to-back

---

Crew List—Roles & Acknowledgments

• Ethan Klein: Host, “chief wood coaster officer,” self-appointed king of desk respect
• Hila Klein: Co-host, set design mastermind (“glowing, gorgeous, aging backwards” [11:46])
• Dan: Studio producer and lighting czar (“ready for vacation,” “truth-teller,” NYC survivor)
• Tamara & Cam: Set artists (stop-motion, backgrounds)
• Love: Tech/lighting/pokemon czar
• Gabe: Recurring fan-favorite guest, “Playa”
• Zach: Soundbites, set builder
• AB & Lena: Family, house-fighting, and crime-busting
• Kate & Harley: New recurring co-hosts and segment leads

---

Final Touch: Community, Gratitude, and What’s Next

• Thank yous to sponsors, TechniDesign, fan art shoutouts, and the H3 community for making the new era possible
• The show closes with a reminder that the team is “still adjusting, improving, and adding bits” as the new studio era dawns

---

For First-Time Listeners

This episode is a perfect microcosm of H3 Podcast energy: chaotic, affectionate, self-aware, and constantly breaking the fourth wall. You’ll feel like you’re in on the jokes, see how the sausage gets made, and get a sense of what makes the H3 crew one of online media’s most beloved and bizarre families.

TL;DR:
The H3 team returns with tales from their wild time off, unveils a massive new studio, celebrates the entire crew’s effort, and spirals through a spectacular array of internet stories, roasts, and classic H3 weirdness. A must-listen for fans and anyone in need of a laugh.

---

Notable Timestamps

• 00:28 – Studio gratitude parade
• 03:25 – Gabe “Playa” intros
• 10:19 – Ethan vs. Dan, “Do I look younger?”
• 16:32 – God shot/lighting demo
• 24:06–46:57 – Crew break/vacation ratings
• 56:51 – Disney World blow by blow
• 81:14 – Mitch McConnell “AI corpse” conspiracy
• 158:03 – Fireworks fail compilation
• 176:23 – “Chinese Girlfriend” viral song
• 189:08 – “Harley poop confession”
• 203:50 – “Don’t shit on the floor” at concerts

---

Polls & Debates

• “Do you intentionally smell your poop?” [144:03]
• “Is Mitch McConnell dead/alive or AI?” [104:37]

---

Endnote:
Stay tuned for True Crime Tuesdays and up-to-date H3 antics in their brand new, $600k studio home!

Transcript

[A]

Los Angeles, everybody's back in studio. But not the same studio. New studio, same great taste and new bold flavor. We're back. And I'm using coasters now because this desk is stainable, which is different. And I'll respect. I'll be respectful to the wood. Can they see the wood? Do we have a shot where they can see the wood? I'll be.

[B]

They can see the wood.

[A]

Be respectful to the wood this time. Welcome back, guys. You know, thanks, everybody for patiently waiting around for us. You know, I really appreciate that. But, hey, we need a break every now and then again. But some of us weren't on break. Some of us were working our butts off. Dan, cheers to you, huh?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And everybody, a special acknowledgement. First of all, most very much big acknowledgement to Dan who worked his butt off getting this set up. And then. Who else? Who else?

[B]

Everybody pitched in. But I guess special shout out to my boys, Nate and Zach and love. They were here for a lot of it this last week, but yeah, I've been cracking at it basically this whole time that we were on break.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Yeah, it's been a whirlwind. I'm ready for vacation now.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Well, you deserve to definitely take some time off. We'll have to have AB fill in or something for you a couple days here coming up. But I mean, take a look at this, huh?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. And there's still. Still quite a bit to do. Hila has a bunch of decorations coming in that aren't here quite yet, so it's going to get filled out a little bit more. And then all of our shelves back here, I just threw stuff up randomly. We got to fill these up and light them up with some nice lights and everything. But, you know, we're here. That's the important part.

[A]

I also want to say a big thank you to Tamara and Cam, of all people. Yeah, you know, worked on this. I mean, Tamara made the art. She made this wonderful, beautiful stop motion background for us.

[B]

Not one, but two. Let's show a shot.

[C]

Well, it's my art and Cam. Cam was amazing to work with. Cam. Cam did you know it's both of our art, so, yeah, it was lovely working with him.

[A]

It is gone, but not forgotten. What do we have here? This is like a beautiful nature setting and it's all mixed media. The vision of Tamara and of Cam and Camillee. Can we see a close up of them? Because like, you could see the ad city out there. In the hila shot out in the distance.

[C]

There's a lot of small details that we're going to be adding, which I'm very excited about. But I actually was working a lot of the break myself.

[A]

Yes, you were. So I'm giving you a special, which

[C]

was awesome to do. I super enjoyed doing it, but there's gonna be more things coming to it.

[A]

Well, you worked your butt off and I'm very grateful for it and it looks fantastic. Yeah. So we've got. And also Gabe is here in town. What's up, Gabe? Playa with the playa shirt on.

[D]

The playa.

[A]

Playa shirt and hat.

[D]

All right.

[A]

Are you a playa, Gabe?

[D]

Of course. Playa. Playa.

[A]

Oh, you're a playa. What's a playa?

[D]

It's a famous street in Culver City called Playa Street.

[A]

Oh, so it's not a playa?

[D]

A playa.

[A]

Are you a player or a playa?

[D]

Player.

[A]

Oh, you're a player.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Are you a player? Are you? How's the dating going over in the Philippines?

[D]

It's doing good. I've been, she's been saying, hi, how are you? Yeah, she's been contacting me almost every day. I think she's into me. I have to say hi and all.

[A]

Are you into her?

[D]

I'm kind of into her.

[A]

Kind of, yeah.

[D]

She appreciates me a little bit more. When I was visiting the Philippines, like every morning she always asks me, what do you want for breakfast?

[A]

Oh, she's cooking for you?

[D]

She does my laundry and stuff.

[A]

Oh my God. Wait, you guys were in the same house or what?

[D]

She has a house like down the street.

[A]

And she would bring you breakfast?

[D]

Sometimes she brings me breakfast or she always asks me, you want, can I do your laundry? I say, yeah, sure.

[A]

Oh, that's so nice. She come over, does she do the laundry at your place or she takes it back to her place?

[D]

She takes it usually to her place

[A]

and then brings it back.

[D]

Uh huh. Folded. Folded, organized. Perfect. I call that appreciation.

[A]

That's what I call that. She. And so what's the deal? You sound like she's more into you than you are into her. It sounds like it.

[D]

Sounds like it, yeah. She text me almost every day. Hi, how are you? Good morning.

[A]

Well, why, why are you not more into her?

[D]

I mean, I'm starting to get into her because I feel the way she treats me.

[A]

You feel appreciated?

[D]

Yeah, I feel appreciated.

[A]

What's holding her? What's holding you back?

[D]

Well, I'm here, she's there.

[A]

That's A good. That's a very good reason. Long distance is tough.

[D]

I'm planning to see her. I want to see her on like towards the end of September.

[A]

Why don't. Can we 90 day fiance her out here? We could you down.

[D]

I'm sure. I'm sure I could. I'm sure I could.

[A]

All right, all right. Maybe I'm prying too much. I will let you work out the details of your future marriage there.

[D]

That takes patience. Yeah, patience.

[A]

So it sounds like you are a player.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You got women cooking breakfast and doing your laundry. Shit, forget them, dude. I want to fucking suck his dick. No.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

I wasn't going to ask that or comment on that. Any who. Oh. Today's episode is sponsored by Whiskers. Yes, sir. So let's just kind of show what we've got here. So we have. We have one backdrop here where Hila's sitting.

[C]

You want a camera?

[A]

Sure. Yeah. Whatever is the best way to show it off.

[C]

Okay,

[A]

so here's part one. It's Hila's part. And we have three windows here. David is working on setting up the camera. What you twist in there? David, David, David. Caught on a twisty feature here.

[E]

This is not a quick release.

[A]

Not nothing quick. Okay, David, we're free. We're free. David, David, David, David, David.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[C]

It's a lot pressure on.

[A]

It's a fast release, if I'm being honest. Or a flow release.

[E]

Sorry, I missed the mark.

[A]

So here's. Here's part one.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Zoom out a little bit there, David. Zoom out a little bit still. There you go.

[B]

Swipe face.

[C]

Hila.

[A]

Oh, and it's supposed to look like windows. I don't know if the effect is happening.

[E]

It is.

[C]

Why are you presenting it like that?

[A]

Because I want feedback.

[E]

Well, there's nothing we can do.

[C]

You're gonna get feedback.

[A]

No, there's a working. There's a. Yeah, of course we could tweak. Not. We could tweak everything.

[E]

We could make a real window there. If you guys don't like the digital ones, we'll make a real one.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

And.

[C]

Oh, my God. And then I can make an actual physical thing behind it. Yes, yes. Tell them to redo it. And then.

[A]

So then here's my shot, which has got the big window and me. Why'd you get the most important fixture?

[E]

Why'd you get the big window?

[A]

I could sit there. I could sit there. But I mean, let's be honest. Why does dad get the big piece of chicken? You know why I love all Right.

[E]

Can I. Can I get a small window? Like a tiny one?

[F]

Super small.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

Thanks.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Maybe when you turn 18.

[A]

And then we have a stage area here for guests or bands or games or whatever.

[E]

Gabe is chilling right now.

[A]

Gabe is absolute max chilling right now, and I love to see it. He's in town and I hear, Gabe, you're moving back in October.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That's fantastic.

[D]

That's my goal.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What a goal to have. I fucking love it. And if you want to go show the crew situation here, full dark back here right now, which is fine. We don't need them in light. The less light, the better on them, frankly. Yeah, true. Let me see what Dan's shot looks like. Like, not that. Not like that, but like his real shot. Oh, yeah, that looks fantastic. Dan, of course, as always, has the best lighting. And his blue eyes are shining.

[B]

I. I don't know if this is actually that good.

[A]

Like the. Like the depths of an infinite blue. Oh, there you go.

[B]

Thank you. David, you can show.

[A]

Damn, you making me want to bend

[B]

over on blast with tremendous knock. TV's in the dash. Wheels just won't stop.

[E]

Can we see all that?

[F]

Nobody.

[E]

Can we make that happen?

[A]

Cut to me. Wait, cut to me, but show that, David.

[E]

What?

[A]

Show the camera. Oh, that's Dan's cam. I see. Can you get behind my camera and show me, please, through the camera. Let's take a look. See how that looks. And maybe you could stand there for the rest of the show and see. That's not working.

[C]

Hold on.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Oh, great.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

There you go.

[E]

You have, like, a monocle.

[A]

So there it is. It's right. It's zoned in on my left or my left eye only.

[E]

We asked it to capture your right eye.

[C]

I feel like that's some kind of a tale that you're an Illuminati.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

You do this, the one eye square

[A]

and you stick your tongue out or something.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, my God, you're going to drop dead tomorrow.

[A]

No, it's not drop dead. I'm Illuminati. I'm giving a shout out to my boys in the Illuminati screenshot that. The Jilluminati? More like. Am I right?

[D]

Oh.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Thank you, David. So that's what's popping over here. You know, we've been suffering from poor. I've been suffering from poor lighting because we had a green screen behind me. And now that we have a big, beautiful, practical set, the green screen is gone. And the lighting, I feel, is. I feel like I'm looking a little bit healthier, maybe a little bit younger, A little more.

[B]

You don't look younger.

[A]

Crispy. I saw people saying I looked younger.

[B]

Where did you see that?

[A]

On the subreddit

[G]

already.

[B]

We just.

[A]

No, no, the photo. Stop. The photograph I posted as a teaser

[B]

that could have easily been photoshopped. That's not lying.

[A]

It wasn't photoshopped. It was. Exactly.

[B]

It was probably photoshopped to make you look younger because you don't look young and beautiful.

[A]

You look old. What? Why?

[B]

Significantly older.

[A]

Why are you being so passionate about this, Dan?

[B]

Because I'm after the truth.

[A]

Like, I've just made an outf handed like, comment. Like, oh, maybe I look a little. Maybe I look a little bit good, a little bit younger. And you're like, no, no, I tell

[B]

people the truth even if they don't

[H]

want to hear it.

[A]

Okay. Asmin Gold. Yeah, Asmin Gold over here, my producer. You know, guys, got. Yeah, it was this one here. Because you don't believe me. Truth, justice.

[B]

I just tell it as it is,

[A]

you know, Listen, sometimes Dan needs a break. Things are better left on.

[B]

I do need a break. Oh, also, Kate's here.

[A]

Kate is here. We love to have Kate here, the wonderful lamb. Hey, Kate. She's here. You're going to be joining us today. And this is, by the way, Kate. Do I look younger? I mean, you tell me.

[G]

Not a day over 45.

[C]

Oh, my God. What is it with this crew?

[A]

Ken, why are you clapping so loud?

[G]

Hila, by the way. Glowing. Hila. Gorgeous.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, hila looks amazing.

[E]

100%.

[B]

She's, like, aging in reverse. It's insane.

[A]

Show my hands because I swear they look bigger.

[E]

No, they're. We changed that.

[A]

I'm only seeing Kate now.

[G]

Okay, well, you see my little. My little baby doll hand.

[A]

She looks fantastic, by the way. But we can get rid of her.

[B]

Okay. This is important.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

As you can see, the report is on the screen now. Look at my hands. Look, they look very masculine and I think quite large and vascular. Yeah. Give me a hand, guys.

[C]

Give me a hand.

[A]

You're using.

[E]

Put them right next to your hand or head.

[A]

What do you want me to do?

[E]

Back to small.

[F]

There it is.

[C]

Yeah, that's a good proportion.

[A]

Yeah, that's a. That's a beautiful. Thank you. Elo.

[C]

Those are the proportions you've always had.

[A]

Well, the lighting made it look worse. Now it looks better.

[F]

I don't know.

[B]

The lighting changed the size.

[A]

Let's look at the comments, Dan, because you're calling me a Liar. Hold on. I'm a big fan. Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada. Everybody likes the lighting. I knew you guys were going to like. I know whenever we change the set, it's like a shit storm and. And it's like controversial because some people love it, a lot of people hate it. But I knew, and I still believe, even though I have an open chat and looked, that everybody loves this because it's better.

[H]

They do.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

It has to. It's just classy. We went all out, we got the best in the biz, we spent a fortune, and here's the result. Right? Does everybody. Why does Ethan look younger? Ha ha ha. 200 points. Wrong, sir. Wrong. They need to call Lena's mom back. That's. Honestly, I thought. I thought that as well. Can we call your mom and.

[C]

Yeah, we could.

[A]

Yeah. Let's get her on the.

[C]

She's available.

[A]

I need a rerating.

[C]

Honestly, it's not fair because it's still up to the phone.

[A]

Yeah, but the conditions are different.

[G]

Send her the link. Drop her the link.

[A]

Ethan is really handsome if the lighting isn't sabotaging him. So that's again, a top comment. Dan, you have anything you want to say about that? You want to tear me down? Handsome new lighting. People are saying, but how's the. Let me open the chat because I want to see. I think everybody's going to be happy.

[C]

They're loving it.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

See, it's super classy. It's fantastic. Really dope.

[A]

Thank God we're all a little traumatized.

[C]

Real good.

[A]

Because the last time we revamped the set.

[B]

Not even just last time. I don't like, since our original set, everybody's been unhappy that we weren't on the original set anymore. You know what I mean?

[A]

Nobody ever got over that.

[B]

Nobody ever got over that. Exactly. And that was only for like the first year and a half of the show or something.

[A]

Right? But now listen, this is it, baby. We've arrived and. Oh, oh, oh. Somebody has a.

[B]

We haven't even shown some of the features, Ethan.

[D]

Right.

[C]

We have.

[A]

Galia has a great suggestion, by the way. Fly Lena's mom out for age reveal. Would she do that?

[C]

She would.

[A]

You think so?

[C]

I guess. Really?

[A]

Let's get her on the call first and get a preview.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I asked her and then we can think. If she answers correctly, we can think

[C]

about, would you want to stay with us? Like just us? That would be. That would. That would be. That wouldn't be right. Wait, like, stay at your guys's house

[H]

as Long as she's allowed to smoke her hookah, she'll be cool.

[A]

Oh, does she smoke hookah? Let's go. I'll smoke some hookah.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

For real?

[A]

Yeah. So there it is. Everybody's. Everybody's just talking about how great I look and looking much younger.

[B]

That's what's important.

[D]

That's.

[A]

Yeah. But, yeah, the last time poor Sam, she tried to solo the set change, and it was just. It was. It was a lot.

[C]

It was a lot. It was not fair because it's like seeing now, well, we have work, it takes.

[A]

We had a whole. A whole ass business of like, cords of builders, like in a sim, like World of Warcraft. Warcraft. Three peons were building and clanking their hammers. Did work, but double.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

The minute I sat down here, test lighting, you know, the other day, I was like, everyone's going to love it. So justice for Sam. I agree. Shout out to Sam.

[C]

Shout out to Sam.

[A]

She's the best. We miss our dear friend. And she's doing. She's doing great, it seems, though, so God bless her.

[C]

Dan, what did you want?

[A]

Yeah, well, sorry, what else? What other features we got going on here?

[B]

Show the God shot.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

The lights. Oh, yeah. Dude, that's sick. No, genuinely sick. Like when we do different bits, segments, we're gonna go to green, we're gonna go to yellow, we're gonna go to red. Right?

[B]

All of the above.

[H]

Whoa.

[A]

Cut to me. Can you see it in my shot?

[H]

Not really.

[A]

Not at all. Not at all.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

Ain't really.

[A]

Turn up the white light because I feel like it. It does illuminate the set a little bit. Turn up the white light all the way. Yeah, that's where you want to be.

[G]

Amber.

[H]

Amber.

[B]

Ooh, that's. That's kind of a nice.

[C]

I like this one.

[B]

Yeah, nice. Purple and white.

[A]

Come on. So. And I. I tell you, I got this big, beautiful desk. I got shelves, I got space. Come on. I got activity space on my desk.

[C]

Come and get some.

[A]

Oh, I want to give some shout outs here to a fan of the show, a guy who's just beyond compare. Ben, who works for. He has his own business, Techni Design, and he is a professional. How would you describe what he does?

[B]

He's a professional set designer, stage designer. He works on big, big, big events and festivals, doing stages for huge artists and all that kind of stuff. And for some baffling reason.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

Dan, a man of his talents and success level, is a big fan of ours, and he helped out an immense Amount with the design process, it was largely, I would say, hila. Him and a little bit of myself. The three of us kind of working on the overall look and everything. With input from everybody on the team as well, of course. And, yeah, really couldn't have done it without him. So I think he's probably watching right now.

[A]

Ben, you're the man you love, and this guy is like, he's at the top of his field, and he refused payment. He would not take a dime. So we're trying to figure out something nice to do for him, and we'll. We'll get him something.

[C]

Very, very impressive.

[A]

Young gentleman, 27, top of his field, glazed.

[C]

A job. He's got a Mormon glaze. Even though he's not Mormon.

[A]

Yeah, he's glazed.

[C]

He's got a wife and a little girl.

[A]

Yeah, he's.

[D]

He's.

[A]

This guy's got it all happening. Yeah, he's man.

[C]

But thank you so much.

[A]

Shout out to Ben from techni Design. And also a shout out to his friend Michael Heller, who did the sketches of the set. And this is someone you can go follow, check out. If you're looking for someone to do filmmaking and art, creative content producer. Check out M. Heller art. We'll put that in the description. If you guys want to go send some love and support to this gentleman here. So thank you to him and just really happy with how it came out. So I'm just grateful to everyone who worked on it. So thank you guys, really. Very, very, very nice. Even the couch is looking good over here where Gabe is adorning it, you know, so here, basically, we have so much to talk about, so much to do. So much, I guess I should say I'm driving here on my way to work. You fucking believe this? Um, it's like this guy will not leave me alone. A giant, massive fucking billboard getting off the freeway. Like, the biggest billboard. You cannot possibly.

[B]

This is one of the biggest billboards in l. A.

[A]

The P.O. your podcast group chat keeps quoting really, really well. Maybe not for the reason that you think. Get the fuck out of my life. And everybody. Nobody's watching this shit. Jay Shetty. Nobody. Really? The group chat can't stop quoting Jay Shetty.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Like what? Oh, I'm scared. You can't even use a knife. This guy's a fucking monk and he's scared of knives.

[B]

Wait, our group chat. Our group chat quotes Jay Shetty a decent amount.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. It's not for the reasons they think. Yeah, it's not because, like, well, Jay Shetty said if you keep your mat, if you make your bed every morning, then your life will be in order. No, nobody's doing that. That self help shit can get the fuck out. It's all bullshit. Oh, Zach, where you are? I'm scared.

[G]

Where are you at?

[A]

Oh, God. You know? Yeah. There's your monk right there. He's pathetic. It's a child. Play it. Zach, come on. What do you do? What's happening here? I'm out here. I'm treading water. I'm over the shady shit, man. But I'm here treading water, bro.

[H]

It's just.

[A]

I'm just being real. It's just like, it's. Yeah, but I'm here. I'm here. You got to meet me where I'm at. I'm cool here, bro. Are you serious, bro? Like, I'm. I'm quoting the sound bites with the answer. What happened to the synergy that we have? All of a sudden you show up.

[B]

No, no, we do, dude.

[A]

We show up out of break, and all of a sudden Zach's like, I'm good on the sound bites. Like, what the are we talking about?

[D]

I don't know, man.

[C]

I'm like.

[H]

I'm just over it. I don't know.

[E]

No more sound bites.

[B]

No more sound bites at all.

[A]

I'm over the Shetty.

[B]

No, you know what?

[H]

It's looking like the golden boy position's open. I'm loving it, Ethan.

[C]

Oh, okay. Well, I see some things haven't changed.

[A]

Well, it's good to have a little reliability around here. I don't know what's going on with Zach, but I don't like it. I'm still on board with like, 99, but you're just. You back me up. You're not at the stars act. You're here to support me. This isn't the Zach Bernstein show. I never wanted to be. I. I'm just. I will ride with you to the depths of. No, you're not. But this is the border.

[B]

If you refuse, I'm at the depths.

[A]

This is Jay Shetty. I'm in Jay Shetty's kitchen.

[B]

Yeah, you're still in Hobbiton, dude, we

[A]

haven't even left the Shire. Yeah, all right, well, you know, I'm just. No Sheddy, man.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You didn't even play on why the

[B]

Shetty ones have all those are.

[E]

I'm just.

[H]

I'm just.

[G]

He's an artist.

[A]

Shetty is good. It's still good. It doesn't Tickle me.

[C]

It's still but difference if it's already happening. Like the conversation is already just kind of like.

[A]

He knows that.

[C]

Sprinkle it on top of that conversation.

[E]

It's over, bro.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

What are you hiding?

[E]

Stop pushing.

[A]

Why are you drinking so much? This is Bricksack just sitting there drinking water. You trying to ignore me?

[G]

A little.

[A]

Little parched.

[G]

Is he moonlighting for Shetty? Did he get a new gig over break?

[C]

What's going on? Do you need a coffee? Do you need a boba?

[A]

I'm cool, man.

[E]

Let's order some boba.

[A]

Just play I'm scared, please. I played it. No, you didn't. You went, ah. I don't think he said, I'm scared.

[C]

Yeah, I've been waiting.

[A]

I literally so scared to do that. Yeah, you didn't say that. You didn't do that. You just went, oh, God, that's so scary. That's your fucking.

[C]

That's the one.

[A]

That's your leader. You're my leader. No, I'm not talking now. I'm back on doing my shtick since I got derailed by my fucking mutinous sound guy. The fuck? All right, new set, same old antics. Thanks as well to Chief Technology Officer

[D]

of the United States, Dr. Ethan Klein.

[B]

What have you been up to over break?

[H]

What?

[A]

Been up to a lot.

[B]

When did that happen?

[A]

Ethan, thank you very much. You're very welcome, Mr. President. It's my.

[B]

I have no idea. Ethan.

[A]

It's my honor, sir.

[E]

Wow.

[A]

Let's check in on everybody, see how everyone's break was. And I'll rate it basically on a scale of 1 to 10.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Why don't we work our way clockwise, starting with you, Gabe. How was your break?

[D]

It's great. I have spent a lot of time with my dad. I get to know my dad. My. My dad really appreciates my company being with him. And I feel good. My dad's. My dad is walking, he's doing his thing. He's mostly independent and he feels appreciated.

[C]

Is he nice to you?

[D]

He's nice to me now. And I drove him to the casino. I'm always lawn.

[A]

Oh, hell yeah.

[D]

He needs to go.

[A]

You cook for him? You do his laundry?

[D]

No, not that. He does his own laundry.

[A]

Oh, wow. Good for him. I mean, shit, that's not easy to do.

[C]

Wow.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Accompanying with my dad to the casino. He loves the casino.

[A]

What's he do there?

[D]

Gambles?

[A]

No, but what game?

[D]

It's like Triple dragon. He plays the slots.

[A]

Is that a slot?

[D]

It's a slot machine.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And then he plays the, I think the wolf game and stuff.

[B]

Okay, the wolf or the coyote?

[D]

The coyote.

[A]

How's he do that?

[B]

Coyote, moon.

[D]

Coyote moon skin. I love.

[G]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He hit a big jackpot or anything.

[D]

I heard he did. Oh, I wasn't there and I was before I, you know.

[A]

Do you notice that in the casino like 90% are like Chinese themed.

[D]

Something like that.

[A]

It's all dragons and Buddhas and fucking samurai over there.

[D]

There's a, there's a.

[A]

It's like. I don't know, it's.

[B]

No, it's because like the slot industry and stuff is huge in Asia. Like a lot of those companies are Chinese companies.

[A]

Really? They gamble over there.

[B]

Oh, big time, Big time.

[A]

I didn't know that.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I want to bring it out here and ex, ex here. Let's see if they can make it big out here in the States.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Well, okay. Well, they're taking over. I just would like to see some white people stealing my money.

[G]

Yeah, the number, the number two through number five biggest casinos in the world are in Macau, China.

[A]

So yeah, what I figured the Chinese would be anti gambling because they're all commie. Chinese girlfriend. I need a Chinese girlfriend. I'm gonna make you my Chinese girlfriend for a week. Take you out to a casino in China.

[C]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

Now girlfriend, Chinese girlfriend. You know they have a big watch market in, in Asian. The Asian market is huge. It's bit weight. Tremendous. Yeah, it's. That's why when you go to like Japan or China, they have the most incredible second hand stores you've ever seen. But I feel like you might have an easier time going to an ad there than out here. Like I feel like it's more, there's more product. You know, there is more product, but I think. Well, anyway, who. We're not going to get into watch talk now. But if anybody's curious, I do have a nice. That tickles me. This, that tickles me.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

You want to do a headshot real fast? We'll move on. We'll move on. No, making me reach for it.

[D]

Is it.

[B]

Hold on, hold on one second. Wait, wait.

[G]

Is that, is that Tiffany here, Hold it out again.

[A]

It is, but it's. It's a turquoise stone dial. But it is, it is very similar.

[D]

Oh, oh.

[B]

It's a little wily. It's a little wily.

[A]

You want me to move or stay? You're doing this remotely, Dan.

[G]

Stay.

[A]

Yeah, our camera's on a swivel.

[B]

Well, hold your hand out.

[A]

I am, bro.

[B]

Other Way. There you go.

[A]

Can you zoom?

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

And hand. Stan.

[A]

This is such a nice piece there.

[B]

Hold your hand up a little further, bro.

[C]

Stop.

[A]

You're fucking with me, Dan. I already got it from Zach. I don't need you.

[B]

I supported you.

[C]

David agrees. No, A little feminine.

[E]

What the.

[H]

Whoa.

[F]

What?

[G]

And what's wrong with that?

[A]

You think it's feminine? No, it's not. It's made of platinum. What's more masculine? It's Tiffany blue. I was just saying it was a very vibrant color. Turquoise.

[B]

Tiffany is a woman's name.

[A]

What did he say exactly tomorrow? Did he say feminine or vibrant?

[C]

I think it looks a little feminine. And he goes, yeah,

[A]

don't lie. I didn't. Don't lie. Tomorrow. What?

[C]

No, I'm not lying.

[D]

That is.

[C]

Let's see this vain reaction.

[H]

That's what happened.

[C]

You chuckled and you said. Yeah, and then you said. You said the.

[G]

The light blue.

[A]

I'm not talking to anymore. Go ahead. David, you dressed up in lingerie before your mirror. The color's pretty vibrant. That's all I said. That's completely different than what she said you said.

[G]

Well, I heard say it looked gay, so I didn't.

[C]

When did I say that?

[A]

I. I heard.

[D]

I know.

[G]

I heard it.

[A]

I didn't hear it, but I 100 believe you said that. And I agree.

[C]

I said this. That looks a little gay. Not the watch.

[A]

What. What's that then?

[C]

You know what? I take it back.

[A]

It's too late. What's wrong with being gay? Exactly.

[C]

Yeah, what's wrong with a gay watch? I never said anything. I never said the watch was gay.

[A]

You said that's gay.

[C]

So tell me, when did I say that's gay?

[A]

Didn't you just say you said that?

[F]

No.

[A]

That means you're gay. Not about the watch.

[D]

It's about being happy as gay.

[A]

Thank you.

[G]

That's right.

[D]

Happy watch. You're happy and you're gay.

[A]

I don't. I don't think it's feminine. I think it's. It's extremely masculine because it means you're flat. A woman could never wear this. Right? Hila.

[C]

I mean, I'll wear it.

[B]

A woman cannot wear platinum.

[A]

No. It's too heavy and masculine of a metal. Try it. Hila. It's heavy. Feminism is a problem today, boy. Oh, yeah. Try this on. You're gonna tell me, like, yeah, it's not for me. It's too heavy.

[E]

Careful.

[B]

Hila. I hear.

[F]

I hear.

[B]

I hear it might kill you to put that on. It's platinum. Women are Allergic to that element.

[G]

Don't put it near your uterus.

[C]

Hila.

[A]

Be honest. Go back to your studio. Basketball.

[B]

That's.

[A]

I love that song. For you, Kate. Women for basketball. That's her theme song. Yeah, we're gonna play that for you.

[C]

I love that.

[A]

All right, go ahead.

[C]

Hila. So, yes, it is heavy, but I could wear it.

[A]

You could. I could shit in my pants right now. You know, I mean, I could. There's a lot of things that could happen right now.

[C]

1, 2, 3, 4. Links, if you would.

[A]

That's crazy. My wrist is that big. My wrist is huge.

[C]

Thank you.

[G]

Do you have a pants shitting story today, by the way?

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Okay, well, not me. Not mine.

[C]

I think it looks good on me. I like it.

[A]

All right. You want to keep it?

[E]

Keep it.

[A]

Those are ridiculous. Literally can't let me have one thing today. Yeah, maybe it is gay. Tomorrow.

[G]

Yeah, tomorrow.

[A]

And I like that about it. That's something I like about it. You're dressing up in lingerie, so. Thank you, Gabe. It sounds like you had a good break. I'm gonna give that a 10 because you're taking care of your dad.

[B]

Yeah, it is a 10.

[A]

Zach, what about you?

[B]

Now, before we move on to raid other breaks, I have to let you know that we are already 31 minutes.

[G]

Holy.

[C]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

You know, I want to thank.

[C]

Talked about one break.

[A]

Well, we're just getting into it, but that's okay. We're just. Because I want to thank our sponsor today, who's such a wonderful, incredible product that everybody's loving. I know. Tamara, you. You got your kitty on the. On the whisker, right? And let me show you what it is. Oh, yeah. You're gonna. Yeah. David's here. Thank you. You plop that up on the desk. It's huge.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Whoa. This is a machine. It is auto. It's a kitty litter machine that automatically cleans it. Now, Love, also Love was raving about it. I'm still. I'm.

[E]

I'm over here.

[A]

Yeah, you're right in front of me.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

No, this shit is legit. I've used it for two and a half years now.

[H]

Wow.

[E]

So way outdates the sponsor. And it's really convenient. I. I'm a dog person. And when I got cats, I was like, I gotta pick their up inside.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And I was like, nah, we ain't doing that. I bought this. You know, it's a little bit of. Really just solves that whole issue. You just do it once every four or Five days or something like that. Could probably go longer if you have one cat.

[C]

It's been okay. So it's been so awesome for me, cuz I. Okay. So yeah, my cats always just use a normal litter box. And then we got this and I was like Baku, you know, and he was not. At first it was difficult, but then I once. I actually just took away his old litter box. He started using it and it will weigh him and it tells. It tells me when I need to. When it's like full and I need to change it and it keeps it smelling fresh the whole time.

[A]

It's just no stink.

[C]

No stink. It's been so awesome.

[A]

And it gives you like, it checks on your cat. It's like tells you when the cat is going pee. So what's the weight of the cat? It has what the cat's thinking about.

[E]

Damn. It has a scale in the bottom. It's sick. So it not only weighs the. The clean litter, it weighs the used litter. And then it also weighs when the cat goes in and it uses all that data to first of all tell you when the litter goes low, but it also weighs your cat and tells you whether your cats have gone off in white opposite. And it's really convenient. It's pretty sick.

[A]

That's really cool.

[E]

It saves you a lot of money

[A]

on litter too, I've noticed. I remember the litter lasts longer.

[E]

A lot longer.

[C]

I have heard about this before. We had them as sponsor like a couple years ago from friends who I just overheard the conversation because we don't have cats, but so many people do. And they were talking about they were telling somebody else how they should get it, that it's worth the money people love. Yes.

[A]

Now I don't have a cat, as you guys know. I want a cat someday. But there's lots of cat people here in the office and in the audience and everybody I know that use this thing loves it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

There's no going back.

[C]

It's like afterwards. Yeah. Quality upgrade.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And you know, I've had cats my whole life and have been, you know, scooping litter boxes for going on 40 years at this point. And I was deeply skeptical of these things. You know, I thought like, you know, the cats might not want to use it or how gunked up is it going to get or whatever. But I'm very impressed. This thing, it just, it just works smoothly and it just makes that entire chore just disappear from your life.

[A]

God, that's amazing. I wish that's something you can never do with dogs. I have four dogs now. And the amount of.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That you have to pick up on a daily basis.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Is unreal.

[C]

Disgusting.

[A]

You know, so the scientists are still working on that one. But cat owners, you guys are lucky because you got this, you got this unit here. Imagine, by the way, if you're a pregnant mom and you're starting a family and so you can go no touch with this, right? And it's going to save you time when you're building a family. You don't have to worry about, you

[C]

know, one less thing to.

[A]

One less thing to worry about. Really? Yeah. I mean, what are we, what are we doing here? Right? Come on.

[C]

What? A specific scenario?

[A]

Yeah, they wanted me to talk about that.

[C]

That specific scenario.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Interesting.

[A]

Yeah. They want the moms to know it's a common concern.

[B]

It makes sense and it does help.

[C]

So, you know, somebody in the chat said we should get a office cat. Is that a possibility? No.

[A]

Well, what, what is it?

[H]

Allergic.

[A]

What does the cat do during the night?

[C]

That's what I'm saying.

[H]

Get a cat.

[C]

What?

[H]

I said. Or you can get rid of us and get a cat. That's a possibility.

[A]

It's you or them. Yeah. We've got our first ultimatum on this hypothetical cat.

[E]

I'm also allergic to cats, but I feed my cats eggs. A certain kind of egg that removes their allergen.

[A]

What the hell?

[E]

It's like some high tier interesting stuff. I'm just gonna let you know.

[A]

That sounds silly. No, dude, I'll tell you guys after the ad read. But okay. You give them egg.

[E]

Should I?

[A]

It's like a. Yeah, it's just an anecdote.

[E]

So cats who eat eggs from hens, that has been around cats.

[A]

Huh?

[E]

For some reason the hens developed some sort of thing and then like some enzyme or some shit. And then when the egg comes up

[A]

and the cat eats that shit, the

[E]

allergen goes down by 60%.

[A]

You need a hen that's been around. A cat.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And there are places like that that is interesting. So that made a big difference for you night and day.

[E]

And my mom, who's insanely allergic. Like, like crazy allergic. Fully gone.

[A]

Oh my goodness.

[E]

Some pretty cool shit. And it's just egg. It's not like some crazy ass.

[A]

Where do you get an egg like that?

[E]

There's food with it in.

[A]

They're like these.

[B]

It's like an additive that's put into. Into some cat food.

[A]

Oh, it's like an enzyme they add.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Interesting. Well, how about that? There you go. So let's get an office head and an office cat.

[B]

Let's get a hen.

[A]

Get a whole ass petting zoom here.

[D]

Do it.

[A]

It's like goats roam the office. Well, we already had chief in here, which is pretty much a go, and it didn't work out too well. Yeah, but you're going to absolutely love this thing. And guess what? Maintaining your cat's litter while focusing on growing your family. Make. Sorry, let me try that again. Maintain your cat's litter while focusing on growing your family. Learn more about Whiskers litter robot models and starter kits today to get set up before your new baby arrives. Take an additional $50 off bundles with code H3 when you shop whisker.com H3. That's an additional $50 off bundles with Code H3@Whisker. Thank you so much to our wonderful sponsor, Whiskers Baby. All right, let me take this off the desk. It is.

[B]

David will get it. Don't worry.

[A]

David. David. Primo numero David. So, Zach, you were about to tell me about your break. Yeah, it was pretty good, Pretty relaxing. Didn't do a whole ton. Went down to San Diego and then just chilled. And then last week just was helping set up the audience. What'd you do in San Diego? Visited family. And what did you. What were you doing to pass the time in your off when you were at home watching TV movies, playing guitar? Lego didn't do a bunch of Lego. Nothing really sparked my interest that has come out recently. Although I do want to get the World cup trophy.

[E]

Looks pretty cool.

[A]

That's still happening, right? Nobody won that thing yet. There's four teams. I don't know. I'm like. So I see like the riots and stuff and I think that's cool. And I saw all the memes about that guy. Holland Holland.

[B]

Yeah, the Viking dude.

[A]

Yeah, but he loves everybody. Well, he does seem cool.

[B]

He does seem cool and he was quite impressive to watch play. But unfortunately he has been eliminated.

[A]

Yeah, I heard. But he was. I saw his post interview as a very great sport about it. Strange looking dude on what he really. Norway.

[B]

He's from Norway.

[D]

And.

[B]

And I feel like he really is just like the. The platonic ideal of like a Viking warrior, basically.

[A]

Erling Harlan and his dad, I think was a pro soccer player too, or football player, whatever you want to call it. Strange looking guy, though, but seems like a very cool guy. Very chill guy, Very athletic.

[C]

He's very fashionable. He's got a whole.

[A]

His watch collection is insane.

[C]

He's got a watch Collection. He's got a bag colle.

[A]

Yeah, he's. He's one of the top players, so he's rich as fuck.

[C]

I keep getting reels of AI.

[A]

Whoa.

[E]

Hey, now.

[C]

Him as a girl.

[A]

Hey, now.

[B]

Wait, What?

[C]

For some reason, there's so many videos of, like, him as a girl. Like, makeup tutorial.

[A]

What? I have not seen a single one of those on. What the fuck's on your face?

[C]

Weird stuff. Yeah. I've been seeing, like, professional hairstylists posting, like.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

How they style his hair, hairstyles on him.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like a whole world.

[A]

Obviously, I'll be. I'm not gonna give many. I'm not gonna tell this guy how to look. He's got his own thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like he could do something better with his hair, frankly, but no,

[B]

that's so integral to the look, he can't cut it.

[E]

That's all the juice comes from, bro.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

The juice comes within.

[C]

It's a very rare occasion. But I do like the hair.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know. I think he's like, is it Samson whose power comes from his. His long locks in the Bible? Yeah, yeah, it's definitely. There's something pent up in there.

[A]

I don't know about all that, but.

[C]

Oh, shame, Sean.

[A]

But anyway, I've been. Yeah, I've been seeing lots of memes

[B]

from him, but, yeah, unfortunately he was eliminated by the English. Very sad to say that might should

[E]

be replayed for the record. Bullshit.

[A]

Is America still in?

[B]

No, no. America absolutely disgraced themselves. We had the most embarrassing game I think I've ever seen.

[A]

It's good because of the controversy with Trump, Colin.

[B]

That was the thing. If they had won, it was a lose. Lose for us by Trump putting his finger on the scale like that. If we had won, everyone would have hated us for it anyways. So I guess it would have been better to just lose honorably. But instead we lost in, like, dishonorably. We lost very dishonorably.

[A]

Yes. Well, it is what it is. It ain't what it ain't. Yeah. I think England's gonna take it, dude. It's coming home.

[B]

It's coming home. As they say.

[H]

Our. Our.

[B]

Our old compatriot Ian has been hitting the British pubs here in town.

[A]

Oh, yeah, You. Are you following the World Cup?

[B]

He's very.

[A]

Harry Kane.

[B]

Yeah, Harry Kane.

[C]

Kane.

[A]

He always catch the World cup there, brother. That's a little different one. A succulent soccer game.

[B]

That man is Australian.

[A]

You're right. He has a Very. You're right. Anyway, Zach, I give it. Let's be honest. I mean, I appreciate that you're spending the time to relax. You can't. You can't, you know, overstate the importance of that. Just taking your time and enjoying yourself. That being said, no Legos were built. You went to San Diego, but only to visit your family. You didn't do anything fun down there. I mean, you go to Legoland. I'm not going to that place. Why? You act better than that. Zach, you've changed Legoland, bro.

[E]

Come on.

[A]

You're not better than Lego.

[D]

Nah, bro. That's some.

[A]

You can't. I don't even know why they call that Legoland, Why? It's like Shit Land, you know, it's made of Legos.

[E]

It's horrible.

[A]

When's the last time you were there? Few years ago? Yeah, something like that. You get a 3 out of 10. Moving on.

[D]

Fair enough.

[A]

Zach's pushing it today. Boy. I'm not even a Lego head. I'm get defensive for Legoland. That's where I proved my throwing chops to the world. So I have a sentimental spot for that. Nate, tell me about your break. For sure didn't do much. It was just me and Mia for the most of the week, and it's been a lot. She's a lot of work now now, so 10. I mean, get to spend time with her. She's starting to talk more. She's been kind of mimicking what I say. Love that. Well, listen, it's a 10 because you're a father and you're doing put in the work, and we love dads here on this show. Yeah, I had a great time with her. There it is. You know, Sunny's starting to potty train right now, and that means we're almost out of the diaper phase forever.

[E]

Forever,

[D]

Right.

[A]

Very nice. Well, there that is. That's simple enough. Dan, tell me about yourself.

[B]

Well, like we discussed, I mean, a lot of my break was spent in this room right here. I did get out of town for a few days. It was supposed to be like five days. Going to the east coast to visit New York City, which I have never actually been to before.

[A]

Oh, no, that was your first visit?

[B]

Yes. So I've spent a lot of time on the east coast, but mostly in Massachusetts, like Boston, New England.

[G]

Shout out.

[B]

Shout out. Shout out. Kate. But somehow my travels have just never taken me to New York City. And despite all of the playful banter here on the show, as an LA resident, I'm obligated to talk some shit on New York because they do it to us all the time. I was very excited to finally get to go and spend some time. I was going there for a wedding. And so the plan was to go to the wedding and then spend three, four days just walking around Manhattan kind of seeing the sights and museums and everything. And I got out there and it was 110 degrees with about 90% humidity outside.

[A]

It was a historic heat wave.

[B]

Genuinely hellish.

[A]

Yeah, that's hellish outside. That's fucking crazy.

[B]

And we thought we would maybe tough it out a little bit. And we went to the wedding and Ally and I and my sister who was out there with us as well, we were like, you want to just fly back to la? You want to just get the fuck out of here? Because this is awful. Because our plan was to like, walk around Manhattan.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, like, that plan was not going to be very.

[A]

That's a shame, man.

[B]

So, yeah, it was a pretty horrible, horrible experience. And all of my worst fears about New York have been confirmed. It's awful place. Hell on earth. You should never go.

[C]

You should go back again in like October.

[B]

Yeah, I will, I will, I will. Yeah. Like I said, it was disappointing because I was really excited to finally get to do the iconic stuff. I wanted to try the pizza that I've been hearing.

[A]

You didn't even get into fucking life.

[B]

No, because, I mean, all the wedding stuff was pretty, you know, whirlwind ish. And then by the time we were done with that, we were ready to go home. Get the fuck out of there.

[C]

I see that some chat people caught up to the same question that we also have because Dan went to a mysterious wedding that happened on the same day as Taylor Swift's wedding in New York. So whose wedding was it?

[B]

I would love to talk more about it, but I'm under like an ironclad contract that I'm just total NDA. I can't. I can't really talk about it.

[A]

Tell me this. Was your trash sold?

[B]

Let me put it this way. I left most of my luggage there and just stuffed the trash into my luggage.

[A]

Left clothing.

[B]

I have the trash. I have the trash from the wedding.

[A]

Get paid, baby, or die trying. Yeah, that's a shame that you had such a bad experience. You love strolling through Central park during the fall.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, we'll definitely be making our way back out there for. For another attempt. Well, shout out to New York and New Jersey because we were going back and forth, Newark and.

[A]

Yeah, I saw A video of your boy Casey Ab. He fried an egg on the street.

[H]

I didn't watch it.

[B]

It probably was that same weekend because it really was.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I heard.

[B]

Never experienced something like that.

[C]

My brother in New York. It was really hellish.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Global climate change. Let's go.

[B]

Well, it's, you know, everybody always says correctly. I think that the humidity makes the heat way worse and you know, it can be like 85, but if it's really humid it feels way worse. Yeah, it was both. Dude, it was 110 degrees. It was like Death Valley outside. And also about to thunderstorm, basically. Like it was like that muggy. So it was just. Just awful. Well, you awful.

[A]

You usually can't get up that high with that level of humidity, right?

[B]

Yeah. I don't know.

[A]

That's pretty exceptional. But I feel honor bound, Dan, to give you a 10 because you spent so much time here in the studio.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I'm grateful for that.

[B]

Honor bound. What about Mr. Lova?

[E]

Not. Honestly not. Not that much. I've been hanging out here in la. I didn't go home, but I've been getting in tune with my, my childhood spirit again. I've been collecting Pokemon. Fall break.

[A]

Anything good? No, nothing. Yo, they're brutal. We do a lot of Pokemon cards with our boys and I mean we've had one really good poll, which is that Grudon.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

But other than that. And we've opened a lot of Pokemon cards.

[C]

A lot.

[E]

Yeah, I got a couple like hundred dollar cards but nothing like extraordinary.

[A]

The problem is that.

[C]

That's good though.

[A]

The. Yeah, the prices are so inflated of everything that like if it was a normal price then it would be like much more fun and normal.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you have to spend so much like double or triple the price of shit.

[E]

I'll be getting everything retail. I stood four hours outside of Best Buy in the fucking blistering heat.

[A]

So how much do you pay for retail and how much is it like on the aftermarket?

[E]

About 3x. On the aftermarket.

[A]

Do you get like a box for a hundred something?

[E]

Yeah, something like that.

[G]

Yes.

[B]

Everybody says that you're being humble and you got some amazing.

[E]

Oh, nothing above a hundred.

[A]

Oh, but that's good.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Oh, actually the best card I got, Cam ripped.

[A]

Cam ripped it? Why?

[B]

What?

[E]

No, he just wanted to be funny.

[A]

Wait, he did that? Yeah, on purpose. That doesn't seem like Cam. That's another Cam. That's very uncle.

[B]

Oh no, that is so kid.

[E]

He was doing it for the contents.

[A]

So are you happy?

[D]

He did it?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[G]

All right.

[A]

Fair, then. I guess he read the room.

[E]

No, but I. I never got. I. I lost the Pokemon train a while because. I don't know, it didn't feel like it was super culturally relevant or whatnot. But now it's all over the place, and I get. I'm getting, like, a lot of nostalgia, and it's a lot of fun.

[A]

Good. There you go. I'm glad you found the passion. You're doing something fun, and you're getting out there. That's love, everybody.

[E]

Oh, thank you.

[A]

With an 8 out of 10.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Thank you very much for the industrious Pokemon searching.

[E]

Thank you.

[A]

We love that. We love that so much. A.B. and Lena, you guys were out in Dearborn. How was that?

[C]

I.

[E]

It was. I mean.

[H]

I'll let you go first, Lena. We had different experiences.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, I was just gonna say. I mean, it was nice, of course. Just a lot of family time, good food.

[A]

But also, it rained.

[G]

The weather was so bad.

[C]

It rained a lot.

[A]

And then our house was just coming

[C]

apart, so we were. Well, mostly avoided, I should say.

[G]

Was very preoccupied with all of that.

[H]

It sucked, Dick.

[A]

It wasn't a good visit.

[H]

I mean, the kid. Well, for one, the kids. This is the first time the kids all had summer school, so usually the kids probably sleep over, like, maybe, like, two thirds of the break. This time, they only slept over once. We didn't spend as much time with them. And the house was legit, just falling apart. Like, we came home one day, there was a hole in the roof. The basement was flooded. Another day. Yeah, it was just a lot of repairs. It was. I spent, like, 5k on repairs.

[A]

It's a good thing you were there, though, eh?

[H]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, your brother lives there, right, when you're not there?

[H]

He was there. He's not there anymore, so it's just empty. It's my. Yeah. My cousin was supposed to move in, but she got held up because of the war in Lebanon, so she didn't end up coming.

[A]

Oh, no.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, it's a good thing you were there. It sounds like.

[H]

Yeah. But besides that. I caught a child predator.

[A]

Yes. We have a video. Yeah, we have a. We have a video of that.

[H]

No, I don't. Legally. I don't know if I should show that, because I don't. Unless we blur it, but. Yeah. No, we were just at Marshalls, me and Lena and my niece, and. Because we were waiting for a movie, and I heard, like, a crowd of people standing around, and I. I was just listening and I saw a little girl crying, and I guess some guy put his phone under the. The dressing room curtain.

[A]

How old was the girl?

[H]

She was young. She was, like, younger than my niece.

[A]

Oh, God.

[H]

Yeah. She saw it, and she was, like, crying.

[A]

Poor girl.

[H]

The guy ran out, and so me and this other girl just went out to go see if we could find him, you know?

[D]

And

[H]

eventually I ended up finding him, long story short.

[C]

And I.

[H]

And I was like, excuse me, do you know where the. The movie theater is? When he turned around, I took a picture of his ass. And. And then I got out of the car, and I was like. He started to take off, and then the cops rolled up, and I'm like, that's. That's the dude. That's the dude. And they're like, who are you? I'm like, are you here because someone at Marshalls, someone called you about Marshals? They're like, yeah. I'm like, okay, that's. That's him.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

It'd be funny it was you.

[E]

And then you.

[H]

I know. I'm, like, halfway through talking, I'm like, fuck, they think it's me. They're like, who are you? I'm like, this is my thing, all right? I do this, all right? Just.

[D]

He's.

[H]

He's right there. But, yeah, they ended up getting him.

[A]

So they arrested him?

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

They wouldn't have got him without you.

[H]

They want to have to be honest, I chase his ass into Panera at one point, too.

[A]

Oh, the Panera. He went out the other day. Why do you guys keep making these? Like. You guys think this is so funny. Like, I come back from three weeks trying to be relaxed and do a good show, and then you guys are sending me this. Like, it's just not funny. It's not accurate. It's not accurate.

[C]

That looks good.

[A]

And what way does that look good? It's not accurate.

[E]

It doesn't look.

[C]

That reminds me of something that I like. I don't know what, but I like it.

[A]

That's so scary. What does that even mean?

[C]

You know what it reminds me of, Actually, it reminds me of Clash on Titan.

[A]

Attack on Titan.

[C]

Attack.

[H]

Attack.

[A]

Why? I don't know.

[C]

That's what they're.

[D]

It's because they got weird proportions.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, they have tiny hands.

[H]

There's some. Yeah, there's some deformed ones.

[B]

That's so scary.

[A]

All right, well, that's not what my hands look like, just for the record. My hands look huge.

[C]

Playing it. He played the scary.

[A]

Okay, let's not draw attention well, it's too late now. It's like we're back on board.

[C]

Not talk about it.

[A]

Yeah. Don't draw attention. Well, that sounds pretty good. I'm gonna let you rate it because that was your whole the Predator thing. Definitely adds a few points.

[H]

Yeah. Five, I guess.

[A]

Five.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Lita, you agree with that? Yeah.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

I think next time we.

[C]

For our next break, I want to go on an actual vacation or maybe split it between home and. Yeah.

[H]

Since we've been hired, we have not, like, gone anywhere besides home.

[A]

So where do you want to go?

[C]

You know, I don't know. I just.

[G]

Somewhere.

[A]

As long as I can take Rocky.

[G]

As long as it's not, like, too

[A]

far and he can handle the plane ride.

[C]

That's been the case for us, too, because it's like, whenever I could go, I go back to visit my family. Yeah. But I gotta get out there.

[A]

Well, glad you guys had a five.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

It's better than a three. David, what'd you do?

[C]

I.

[A]

The first two weeks were pretty chill.

[B]

It was just wedding planning.

[A]

And, hey, I was here a few

[B]

days helping set up stuff here.

[A]

And then this past weekend, I had

[B]

my bachelor party in Lake Tahoe that

[A]

was really, really fun. Nice. So, yeah. You do some gambling out there? What'd you get into? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

We went to the casinos one night,

[A]

and then also we rented an Airbnb

[B]

that had a poker table. So we all played poker together at the Airbnb.

[A]

We had a Nerf gun battle that was really fun. Like, in the house. Okay.

[B]

Doing boys.

[A]

A little juvenile. Yeah, well, you know, what about strippers and cocaine? No, no, none of that. No, no.

[B]

Just grilling steaks and hanging out and.

[A]

Just the boys grilling steaks. Playing Nerf battles.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Making meat stuff.

[A]

Getting in the hot tub naked together.

[H]

Yeah, that'd been crazy. If you had Nerf, B, we were jerking off.

[E]

Schwing.

[G]

Next time.

[A]

Well, that's exciting.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Good for you. Thank you. You and the boys. That sounds like a 10.

[E]

It was a 10.

[A]

It was a 10. Tamara, how was your break?

[C]

Thank you so much. I saw. I was with my family. My family was here. As many, you may recall. Then I. I finished God of War. One and two.

[D]

Four.

[H]

Four and five.

[C]

Oh, okay. I experienced some turmoil in my love

[E]

life,

[C]

and I was working on that background.

[A]

You want to expand on any of that?

[C]

No, but I was mostly doing the. I was mostly.

[A]

Yeah, a lot of this.

[G]

Give her a. Give her a 10. Give her a 10.

[C]

No, no, no. Don't give. I don't need the 10. You don't be real. It was probably like a four.

[A]

Yeah. Was it? And was it the turmoil, the family, the drawing,

[C]

You know? I guess, yeah, it was mostly the turmoil. But everything plays a part.

[A]

Everything plays a part. Well, I'm gonna give it a 10 anyway because you made this so.

[C]

Right.

[A]

It's just I'm obligated to celebrate you in that way. So that's a 10 for me. Well, there it is, guys. Well, how was our break? Hila.

[C]

We went to Disney World during that same terrible heat wave.

[A]

I don't think it was a heat wave. I think that was regular Florida.

[C]

Maybe it's regular.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

That was just a regular Florida summer.

[C]

How did you like it?

[A]

So we took the whole family to Disney World. We went to three of the parks. We stayed there for like five days, which was a long vacation for us with all the kids. We went to Animal Kingdom, Epcot and the Magic Kingdom. And.

[C]

And Gatorland.

[A]

And Gatorland. Not Disney, but Gatorland and. Disney LA is better, first of all than Magic Kingdom. Like, they get. There's this whole propaganda thing to try to get everybody out to Magic Kingdom. It's Disney World. It's World. It's bigger. No, it's not. Disney LA is better. It's bigger by all the parks. La. Disney's definitely bigger than that one.

[C]

Then Magic Kingdom.

[A]

Yeah. No, for sure.

[H]

No, I, I don't think.

[A]

Dude, since they added the Star wars land, it has to be bigger. What's your problem?

[C]

There's no way. There's no way.

[H]

She's. She's right. Well, Walt Disney World in Florida is vastly larger than Disneyland California.

[A]

No, no, no. Disney World, you're saying. I'm talking Magic Kingdom.

[C]

Magic Kingdom.

[B]

And okay, the park, magic kingdom is 107 acres. Disneyland is 85.

[A]

Well, it's 85. Well, that's even better because it's 85. That's more jam packed with rides you like and less walking.

[B]

Okay, but that is the opposite of what you're just saying.

[A]

Well, anyway, this size isn't everything. It doesn't even really.

[B]

No, it's not. You're right.

[A]

It's better. It's better. They do this thing at Disney World where they spread all the good rides out across the parks. Like, if you want to do the Star Wars World, you got to go to the Hollywood Studios. Why they got Hollywood Studios anyway? There's a hall. There's Universal Studios, Hollywood right there in Orlando. Like, why you guys trying to do. Why are you even trying to compete in that space? They literally built that to compete. It's dumb. It's like, get the. Out of that space. They still got Tower Terror there.

[E]

Or is it.

[A]

That's la.

[C]

No, wait, did they get rid of it? And I don't think they still have it.

[A]

We got rid of it here. Ours is the Guardians right now, right?

[G]

It's still Tower of Terror in Florida.

[A]

I don't, I don't recall as it should be, but. But anyway, that just the weather, it's like, who. This idea to build a park in Orlando, Florida is the dumbest thing, the dumbest idea of all time. It's like such a hole. No offense, just in terms of the weather.

[C]

In the middle of the day, you have an hour of pouring rain and. And they don't even plan for it. Like, there's no waiting area. Like, you have to just run into like wherever you can stand. And even then they're like, please don't stand here. Like, move away from the walkway. And it's like, where do you want me to stand? In the rain? With kids?

[A]

Yeah. So we had to stand under and like, we had to take shelter in like a gift store for an hour

[C]

with a lot of other people. Yeah, everybody is just like jammed.

[A]

Like, dude, I know how much money goes through that place. Like, there's no excuse. In Mecca, for example, you know how they have those giant. Well, Disneyland is basically Mecca of, of for the Disney religion of the Western world, right? So like, where's the fucking giant retractable umbrellas? You know? Like, they could do more. They have no excuse.

[B]

I guess to the Disney adults, it might be. It is kind of their religion.

[A]

It is a pilgrimage in a way. But that's the thing. Like, they, they convinced me to go on this pilgrimage and it just wasn't it.

[F]

Right.

[G]

I love hearing LA people traumatized by weather.

[B]

It's true. I, I totally admit that.

[C]

I mean, it'.

[B]

Rain.

[C]

It's revilization. Build stuff for it, you know, like, plan for it instead of pretending like it's not going to happen. Like, the Disney workers, they're like, they don't want to mention rain.

[A]

We don't talk about that.

[C]

We don't talk about that word. And it's like, yes, it's going to rain. Let's plan for it. How about like, build something cool. Bring me drinks while I'm standing and waiting. I don't know, like, make it fun for me to wait while it's raining.

[A]

Well, they Offered us these, like, plastic ponchos. When we got there, I was like, oh, I don't care if I get a little wet on, like, Splash Mountain. I didn't even realize they were.

[C]

Realized what it was for.

[A]

I was like, oh, well, I want a poncho now anyway. But that wasn't even the pro. The problem was just, like, I don't think the kids really cared that much about the whole Disney thing either. I think they just like being together and buying treats and getting stuff.

[C]

They were having fun.

[A]

The best experience we had is we went to Cracker Barrel.

[G]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And we got. We went to the gift store. We got all kinds of candies.

[B]

I hear Cracker Barrels.

[C]

It's a great spot.

[A]

I felt it a little racist to call me a cracker right out the gate, but, yeah, the gift stock shop

[E]

actually stocks Pokemon for msrp.

[A]

They didn't have any there.

[C]

It's a good shot.

[E]

Sometimes they do.

[A]

Yeah. It's actually a very respectable little shop. They got there.

[B]

But there was one detail that Hila shared with me that I feel obliged to bring up, which is that there was one particular world that you guys visited that she did not expect to like. She ended up very impressed by. Do you want to share, Hila?

[C]

I guess. In the animal kingdom, the Avatar rides were good.

[A]

Oh, dude. Dude, the Avatar rides were sick. They were really good. The boat ride was awesome. It's like a very chill kind of Pirates of Caribbean thing where nothing happens. There's no conflict at all. But the animatronics and the setting is

[C]

so they built this really cool magical world.

[A]

It's very new, so it's got, like, the high tech.

[B]

Oh, I know. Oh, I know.

[A]

It's sick, right? Well, I've never actually been, but you don't know, Dan.

[B]

I just know that the world of Pandora is whimsical and beautiful.

[C]

It's a cool world, dangerous.

[G]

What?

[A]

What? Were you gonna say something snarky?

[C]

No. When she. When we were texting in the chat about the background, Hila was like, I hate to say it, but Pandora is a major inspiration right now. God damn it. For the background. That's what she wanted.

[A]

This is Pandora, baby. What are you talking about?

[C]

And I said, do not repeat this outside of the chat.

[A]

She did say that. I don't even see the inspiration, but I see it. Okay.

[C]

I was saying, like, how funny is it for Ethan's, like, messy bitch Persona to be against, like, a magical world outside of you? Whimsical magical world. We're still. We're gonna take it there still?

[A]

I mean. Yeah, sure. Take me there. I guess.

[E]

This how much you pay for the set and we secretly put you in Pandora, bro.

[A]

How is that Pandora? There's literally. There's a literal skyscrapers there. You see that? That's an earth tree. Those are earth.

[B]

Yeah, that's the earth forces.

[E]

Oh yeah.

[B]

Colonizers.

[A]

Who are you guys are disrupting hitting yourself? Look, I can. I can agree that the world of Pandora is beautiful and also say that the movies suck.

[C]

The movie sucks.

[F]

You guys haven't seen the second or third one?

[D]

What are you talking about?

[A]

I think I watched a little the third one.

[C]

Is that the one that we put on the tv?

[A]

Yeah. It was so dumb. It looks like ass, bro. I can't get over just how stupid these avatars look. No, it's awesome. I was a hater like you. The second one changed my mind. You watched the third one?

[D]

I did.

[A]

Did you like it? I did. Okay, whatever. Did you see the second one at all? No. You're missing so much context if you just watch the third one, bro. Yeah, listen, I'm not doing it.

[C]

There was a third one, but they have a ride there where you like, like you're. It's with 3D and kind of like a giant screen, but you feel like you're riding one of the dragons. Oh my God. When that came out, my family, we waited in line for two hours and then so you know how there's like the bikes are like next to each other and then we could. And we. And my mom, the second her ass touched down on that seat, she just had a. She just had a panic attack.

[G]

It ruined the ride.

[C]

They kind of build it up like you don't know what to do. Expect.

[A]

It's very chill. It's like a not scary ride.

[C]

Yeah. We took Teddy with us and we weren't sure if it was going to be scary. And they kind of keep building up this hype. So I was like kind of terrified. But then it wasn't scary at all.

[A]

Why'd your mom have a panic attack? Did she get off?

[C]

She was very scared. Does she have a height fear? Have we. She just has a fear.

[A]

She's afraid.

[C]

I don't even know. But I love my mom so much. But even my dad was like, bro, like it just. The whole ride it was like. Like I didn't even hear they. What they were saying on it or anything. I just. It was just her.

[A]

Why don't you all you guys go to, you know, they do the Flash or the Lightning Pass. Now you can do like total. You can just pay like an extra 100 bucks. You don't have to wait in any lines.

[C]

No, this was when it was new though, so you couldn't. There wasn't a fast. There wasn't a lightning thing or whatever.

[A]

But my favorite ride, I will say of the all the parks was at. Was it at Epcot, Epcot, The Guardians of the Galaxy roller coaster. It's one of the new ones. It's so sick, bro. It's like a whole ass roller coaster. But it pivots, it turns and like. I don't know, I've never.

[C]

Yeah, it's like a mix of like Space Mountain and like Harry Potter and like the Star wars technique. I don't know. I don't know.

[A]

It's the coolest ride I've ever been on.

[D]

Huh?

[C]

Really cool. New technology.

[A]

Yeah, it was cool, but other. Other than that.

[C]

Besides that. Gatorland was our favorite too.

[A]

What is Gatorland? No, it wasn't.

[C]

The. The ride on the. I mean the kids loved it.

[B]

Wait, wait, there's a whole land they have for alligators?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

It's actually a big attraction there.

[C]

And they have like a ride where they built kind of like it looks almost like a monster truck. And they. It's like a small thing, but they ride with you through like a swamp. And you look at the gator.

[B]

Aren't there just alligators kind of all over the place in Florida?

[A]

Yes, but these ones are. You can get. You can look at them.

[C]

But we didn't get to see.

[A]

Someone got eaten while we were there, I'm pretty sure.

[C]

What do you mean?

[A]

Some tourists or someone would swimming in one of these lakes that and got eaten.

[C]

Really?

[B]

In Florida while you were there?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know if I don't think. No, it was. I don't think it was in Orlando, but it happened in Florida.

[H]

Yeah, a 28 year old man was killed when Crocodile attack.

[A]

Yeah, he just went swimming in one of these swamps, which everybody knows. I'm from California. I know that not to do that.

[E]

Yeah, I mean.

[A]

And he got eaten, dude. What an idiot.

[B]

Dumbass.

[D]

Oh my.

[A]

Yeah, you think he had a good

[C]

break one through 10, but we didn't see any. Like just kind of like casually. So I don't know if it's because Disney World like cleans it up.

[B]

Yeah, they probably keep them.

[A]

No, they don't have dogs at Disney.

[E]

They probably killed.

[A]

Oh, here you can see what it's like.

[H]

This looks sick.

[A]

So but here, you'll see.

[E]

Oh, that looks awesome.

[A]

So wait, no, no, it turns so like you're kind of. You're fighting some big space monster and the roller coaster pivots while it's also moving super fast.

[C]

Wow, it's.

[B]

Yeah, that looks really, really cool.

[A]

Yeah, it was awesome. It was super fun. I would have done it again, but the poor boys, they.

[C]

They were kind of scared.

[A]

They of were kind were. They were traumatized by it.

[B]

It looks pretty intense.

[A]

It was intense. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Poor Bruce. He was so brave, though. Bruce went on all the scary.

[E]

Really.

[B]

What a guy. Nice Brucey.

[A]

Yeah. Highly recommend this one. It was really cool. This doesn't really explain anything because it's just dark, but it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make you nauseous at all? Not. Nope, not me. I mean, if you have a motion thing, you probably. Probably might get you.

[G]

But just take some drama, mean you'll be fine.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So.

[A]

So basically, yeah, I don't know. Some. I hate the idea that there's anything in Orlando. He's like, I have a dream to build a world where everyone can be in peace and harmony. And I will build it in the most uninhabitable, swampish hellhole that the thing. I would need a whole bunch of land for cheap. Where do I. It's like, okay, well, it kind of undercuts the whole dream. Everybody there suffering. There's nobody there that's not suffering. I know you laugh about. Oh, people in LA talk about the heat. I lived in Israel for five years. I know what heat and humidity is, okay? This was a hellish fucking nightmare. And nobody. There should be nothing built there. And the only reason people go to Orlando is to go to Disney World. And it's just. It's outrageous that anything is there at all. Fuck that, bro. I'd rather pay more money and go do it in a actual city with like. I don't know, man. I'm not. What the hell are we doing in Orlando?

[B]

I have a.

[A]

Not a real city.

[B]

I have a super chat here that I think is kind of amusing. From amazing. C Van. Thank you for the $20. You guys need to plan better for Disney World. It's not the kind of place you can just visit on a whim.

[A]

My family didn't visit on a whim.

[B]

My family went a few years ago and it required months of planning. We planned with the help of a professional vacation.

[A]

Listen, we're not. What? We're not climbing Mount Everest, okay? I'm going on a family Vacation. I need a Sherpa to go to fucking Disney World.

[H]

That's. That's one of the dudes who. That's his Mecca.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. We did plan it. We. And I'll tell you, they very well

[B]

may be right about that, but that just.

[C]

It kind of proves ridiculous.

[B]

Yeah, that seems ridiculous.

[A]

They're like, we found the corpse of the last family that attempted to climb the summit at Disney World. Without the. That's preparation.

[C]

But also, like, the kids are on break, so you're kind of limited. Like, you have to go during summer.

[A]

You know, we did plan it. And so then, by the way, we went to one of these nice Disney World resorts. That's on in Disney World. And the day we get there, we get into our room. We went with Hila's mom. So we got a nice suite with two bedrooms, 80 degrees in the room. The AC is broken. We arrive at 10pm The AC is fucking broken. 80 degrees in the room. So they move us to another hotel,

[C]

and it's late, so I immediately started unpacking and getting the boys ready for bed. But then we're like, oh, we're moving rooms.

[A]

Where's the magic Moving a hotel. And then the new hotel, by the way, it was supposedly more expensive. I don't believe that. Because we showed up and the outside of this place looked like a motel for transient drug addicts. I swear to God, it looked like a Motel 8 or whatever. That's. I don't know what it's called. You know what it's called, by the way?

[C]

What kind of bullshit is it to not tell us that the AC and the whole hotel is not working?

[G]

Oh, that's crazy.

[C]

That's like. Yes. And they let us just show up. They didn't mention anything.

[A]

Well, so we showed up, and first they hooked us up. They're like, we're gonna move you. But when we went that. They're like, come meet us at the. At the front desk, and we'll. We'll move you to the new hotel. And then when we went there, I guess it was someone else who didn't know that we already talked to them. And they're like, yeah, there's nothing we can do. We can give you some fans. So they were giving people fans. Fans in their hotel room in Florida in the summer.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And then they move us to. It was. Presumably. It looked like a nice hotel when we arrived. What was it called?

[C]

Do you remember something we'd see? Contemporary resort, Something like that.

[A]

No, what was the first one? Because it was like, oh, the first one was wilderness. And everybody's like, that's the funnest one to take a family and that. And then there was like a really.

[B]

Wait, another line.

[H]

Yeah, you need to stay away from these lodges.

[B]

You got to get away from the lodges, man.

[A]

I think that's, that's, that's the lesson, right?

[C]

Oh my gosh.

[A]

But they had a really fun looking outdoor area and the kids were super excited. They're like, nope, not this lodge. So then they take us to

[C]

something with sea. I forgot.

[A]

When you arrive, it looks really nice, right?

[C]

Not contemporary though.

[A]

It wasn't Allen.

[G]

There is one called contemporary.

[C]

No, it's not contemporary.

[A]

That wasn't it. Yeah, but that, it looks like new and nice. The entrance. But then they go, oh, no, you're staying over in the, in the suites. That looks sick. No, it's not that one. And so they what, we walk like 10 minutes out to this Coronado. Coronado, yeah. Supposed to be beautiful when you arrive. It does look beautiful. Then they walk us out to the suites. Ooh, my. Sounds wonderful.

[C]

And the suites were built like it's like a, a, like a joke on your brain. It's like there's so many buildings and they all look identical. And you can't find your room for like 10 minutes because everything looks identical. And you gotta walk a whole hallway just to figure out, oh, that's not going where I need.

[A]

And I was like, bro, I am not. Don't tell me that I'm staying in this. Like, like, if I'm trying to, you know, meet, if I'm trying to buy some heroin, this seems like the place. Like this is not the spot. It cannot be the spot. It was the spot. So that's where we stayed. And also, I will say the food on all of Disney World premise was fucking ass. And they do this thing. We went to a nice restaurants, okay, at the hotel there's like nice restaurants that you have to like wait, make early reservations for. And they give you the same kids menu that you get at a concession stand in the park, right? They'll serve you the same fucking like frozen shipped in chicken nuggets for the kids.

[C]

Kids.

[A]

And then beautiful high end. And they'll charge you more for it, but it's the same nugs. And I don't know. That grossed me out. I felt bad even. Like I didn't want the kids even eat that. It was barely food. So that's so, I don't know. Stay home, folks.

[G]

Wait, how was the character breakfast?

[A]

I didn't do that.

[C]

It was so expensive. No, I saw you with Piglet. Yeah, we did it.

[A]

No. So we went to. Okay. Yeah, it was. Well, that wasn't like a bread. That was. We were just at lunch and they showed up.

[C]

It's that character thing. That's what it is.

[A]

Oh, that's the thing. I thought we just showed up at, like, a buffet lunch.

[C]

It's apparently a big deal.

[B]

Piglet doesn't show up.

[C]

So you're sitting at the table and they had, like, a coordinator and they come and they. They're like, listen. So when a character, they. They say the name. Of course. I forget. Let's say Piglet. So when Piglet is going to come, they're gonna stand next to the table. You guys can get up and take pictures with them.

[B]

And then don't look him in the eye.

[A]

I didn't know that.

[C]

It's, like, so serious. Yeah.

[G]

Hold on.

[C]

And then they're gonna rotate, but Winnie the Pooh is gonna be at the entrance. If you want to take pictures with Winnie, you gotta go there. The whole thing, I felt they imposed

[A]

on our lunch, frankly.

[C]

You. You have to take a picture with them to get them to go away.

[A]

They came, they were starting. They were trying to interact with my kids.

[C]

The funny thing is that the kids don't even know Winnie the Pooh. They didn't care at all about also.

[A]

Well, the first one that came through was Tigger.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I have to tell you, I don't like saying his name. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't. I don't like.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

I feel so close to being so extraordinarily racist when that fucking dumb ass tiger comes rolling through.

[C]

I know that that's how you're supposed to say it.

[A]

That's how it's said straight up. And it's just too damn close.

[B]

Now, Ethan, you're talking a lot of shit, but I've pulled up this photo. Nate, if you have this.

[A]

They made me do it. They made you seem like you're pretty. They made me do it. Not look like a hostage. They made me do it. It's on the screen now.

[E]

What if they started hounding you?

[A]

Well, I was trying to have a good time. I wasn't, like, gonna put on a sour face. I was, you know.

[C]

You do.

[A]

Look, I was. I put on a big smile for Piggy.

[G]

For Piggy also.

[A]

I'll say this, Zach, and you're gonna. You'll understand. What a idiot. Dumbest thing I've ever done.

[C]

Just so you guys know, this was a buffet for lunch.

[G]

Lunch.

[C]

We ate totally regular food there. It was like 350 the bill.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, the kids barely ate that much because they're kids.

[C]

I was like, what?

[A]

Yeah, 350, bro.

[H]

It's crazy. The prices are insane. Yeah, it's sad. Like, normal families.

[A]

Look, I'm rich and it hurts.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know how normal people go there. Like, you have to take out a loan. It's like a family planning thing. Like. Anyway, listen, what happened was putting on sunscreen on the boys, on myself. We have the spray can, so. And I'm wearing my, like, my big boy. My ap. Ice blue dial perpetual. Okay. That's like my nicest watch I own, right? And I put it in my shirt pocket, okay. Because I was putting on sunscreen, and I'm leaning down to put on sunscreen for the boys. Falls out onto the concrete. It gets a. A whole bunch of. Of marks in it. I'll show you. Did the crystal crack? No, no, no. But it's.

[D]

It.

[A]

There's. It was in perfect condition, and now it's all. Yeah, the mouse sends his regard. I was like, bro, how dumb do you get anyway?

[H]

How many. You said a cure. I mean, you don't have to say it if you don't want, but. How many watches did you take with you?

[A]

Just one.

[H]

Oh, just one. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Did you have, like a.

[G]

Like.

[C]

But I told them, don't take the nice one.

[A]

No, but I wanted.

[C]

Take a shitty watch.

[A]

No, but I want to wear the watches that I want to wear them because they're meant to be worn. Did you have a hard time figuring out which one you wanted to bring or did you know in your. No, I knew that that one was it. Yeah.

[B]

And did the.

[A]

The character look. Nice watch, man. Nobody commented on it once.

[B]

Piglet didn't care.

[A]

Piglet didn't even care.

[B]

It's a big shot. I guess. I get that.

[A]

Yo. Honestly, I think we should call him Tiga, because with the hard er. This doesn't sound right.

[C]

Can we just say tiger like it's just a tiger.

[A]

Tiger's fine. You don't like Tigga? No, no, that's.

[D]

Somehow.

[G]

That's worse. Somehow that's worse. That is worse.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[H]

I don't know.

[A]

I just. I was like, not today. Not today. Not today. Anyway, so that's. That's all we got. We got so much.

[C]

I think we asked Kate about her break.

[A]

Oh, Kate. How was your break?

[G]

It was good. Well, first of all, what do you rate Your vacation?

[B]

Yeah. What do you give it?

[A]

Well, let's see here. I enjoyed, I enjoyed all the time we spent with the kids, though, and with Hila's mom and I mean, overall, even though we could have done anything and it would have been fun because we were just with the kids and everything, but again, I give it an 8 just because we were with the family.

[E]

Nice.

[A]

Yeah. How about you, Kate?

[G]

Yeah, mine was, mine was kind of eventful. We went on a road trip to Michigan. Shout out. We were there same time.

[H]

Shout out.

[G]

We were up north on some lakes, which was really fun. And I actually read some books which I haven't done.

[A]

Hey, books.

[G]

In like a year. So shout out. Books.

[A]

Shout out.

[B]

Books.

[D]

Kate.

[G]

Recommendations. I have some, some good ones. Did a solo trip to Philly for a few days and I got to go with some friends to this like exclusive private club for rich people in Philly like us.

[A]

Like a speakeasy type of like drinks and stuff.

[G]

Yeah, no, but like super bougie. Like inside was like the White House. I mean it was.

[D]

Whoa.

[A]

Why are they, why is it so fancy?

[C]

Fancy?

[A]

You can't get in without.

[G]

Yeah, you have to have be a member and you have to pay like, I think it's like 600 plus dollars a month to be a. Yes. And there's like multiple restaurants and they have oil paintings of every Republican president except for, except for Donald Trump. That's where they draw the line, which is.

[A]

Well, he's not out yet. He'll probably get him in there. Probably.

[G]

I, I, according to my member friend, they are not gonna do it.

[A]

Interesting.

[C]

Okay.

[G]

And my friend is a Jew and he got let into a private club. So you know, you know what they

[A]

say, I wouldn't want to be a club in a club with anyone that would let a Jew in.

[B]

You Jews are all right. That's not the saying. No, it's Groucho Marx. But he did it in a way more blunt way.

[A]

Groucho says, I wouldn't want to be in a club that would have me

[B]

me as a member. It's supposed to be self deprecating.

[A]

Is he Jewish? You like choosing this

[G]

and yeah, so I, I went to a couple women's basketball games. Of course.

[A]

Women in basketball software, You know, bro.

[G]

Yeah. And then just mainlining Love island and watermelon and that's about it. So that was.

[A]

Boy, I had a lot of watermelon over the breakfast break too.

[G]

Oh, so good.

[A]

I love water.

[G]

So good.

[A]

So good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So anywho, that's, that's what we got. We rating. Oh, yeah, you gotta rate it.

[G]

Oh, I get to rate my own.

[A]

Oh, I rate it. I mean, it sounds like a solid like eight or nine.

[G]

Yeah, yeah, it was good. It was a good trip.

[A]

Hey, there it is. What else we got here? Let's see. A lot of happened. A little break. Connor Murphy died. We're gonna get into that on Wednesday, I guess us. He was injecting gold into his. Which is like next level maxing. He says it gave him a gold hue, but it made him like lose his mind and he drowned in a lake. It's hilarious.

[G]

He.

[A]

He was injecting gold and he slowly went mad. That's so funny, isn't it? What the your body supposed to do with gold? Well, we've heavy elements. You're not. You know what I mean? Like, like, we don't. We're not supposed to inject heavy elements. Come on, what's next? Lead.

[C]

Right?

[A]

God, we got a lot here. Let's see. Holland. Oh, yeah, we already did that. We looked up Holland. We got a new schedule here. Actually, I should tell you guys, we're changing up the format of the show here a little bit because I wanted to integrate kids and Harley Moore into the. Into the team. So here's what we're doing, guys. And no complaining aloud.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

Everyone shut up.

[A]

Monday's podcast. There's no After Dark on Monday. That's because Kate is. And the team is preparing for a big new Tuesday show, which is Tuesday Truesday.

[G]

True twos.

[A]

True twos, baby. What is that, Kate?

[C]

Right?

[G]

It's true crime every Tuesday, basically what we've been doing, but more focused. And if I'm not on after dark till 10pm I can actually.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Do more. Do a lot more prep for it. So I'm excited.

[A]

Yeah, so that just makes sense there. So that's the Tuesday show, which I'm. I'm super stoked about. And then Wednesday is H3. That's H3XL. That's when we're combining the shows. So on Wednesday, we'll all be doing the show together. Extra large and extra. Kate and Harley will be bringing their own segment. So we'll do one H3 After Dark segment. But they'll be here for the whole show. So this is a combined forces episode. And David, of course, will be there with us. Right, David? Yes, I'll be there.

[B]

He'll be there.

[A]

And Thursday is going to be members episode, which is gonna be normal regular live for the members there special just for you guys. We Love you. And then Friday will be the doubleheader H3 after dark. So it's a little bit of a difference here, but it's for the greater good. And I think you guys are gonna reap the benefits as the weeks roll on through. Come on, Ethan. Thank you very much. You're well. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Appreciate that. Let's see what we got. Some juice here. What happened over the. Lindsey Graham is dead rip. Let's see here. He died of a broken heart, apparently. Lindsey Graham is.

[B]

He did die of a broken.

[A]

Of course, one of the more infamous. No, sorry. We're talking about Mitch. Okay, hold on. We have competing things. So it was reported that. That Mitchie boy died. He was like, brain dead, they were saying, and we were all joking. Like, the bell is ringing. He can hear it.

[B]

Hold on. Just to be clear, that was always just like some rumor. It was never actually reported that he was.

[A]

But he's so old and he's so up. Like, I have.

[B]

A lot of people have been speculating.

[A]

The guy literally just stares off into space mid interview for like a minute.

[B]

Believe me, I know. So a lot of people who were speculating that he was dead or brain dead or something and that they didn't want to share that so that it wouldn't trigger, you know, them having to replace him and everything.

[A]

Well, I knew they were keeping his ass on life support because he basically already is. Like, they're not giving up that seat. Yeah.

[E]

I'm curious, what's the end goal? Because he's eventually. Whether he's dead now or not, he's eventually definitely gonna pass. Very soon.

[A]

They don't have their long term goal. They're gonna. At least they'll run a campaign and plan it more. Because if he just croaks because there's a special election. Right.

[G]

Well, there would be an appointment. If he. If he croaked, then the Democratic governor of Kentucky would get to replace.

[A]

Oh, that's.

[G]

That's.

[A]

Yeah, they're keeping.

[G]

They think. Yeah, they think they're keeping him on ice.

[A]

He's probably dead, honestly. And a lot of people are saying that. That they aied his. Oh, Harley, you can bring Harley. And he's. He's arrived.

[B]

Okay.

[G]

If you go down to number two in that segment, that's all the Mitch McConnell stuff.

[A]

Yeah. So they're. So they're saying he's back, but here is the picture they showed. Did he die alone days before is the question.

[G]

Oh, yeah, that was. What's happening is they were showing. Hi, Harley. They were showing, apparently while he was out. Mia.

[A]

That's carpet samples.

[G]

His floors were being redone and so someone was speculating that. That he died alone.

[A]

Who the fuck made that decision when demands on life support. Who's what? Who's planning to move into his office? And is his office like a state? Is he's in like the state office or is he in like his own?

[C]

Well, he's.

[B]

He's got a wife. Maybe the wife wanted to.

[A]

Yeah, well, what is this really, people? Your husband's dying and you're thinking about the new carpet.

[G]

People thought they were replacing it after he like oozed all of the death juice on it.

[A]

Yeah, I was gonna say himself.

[H]

Do they think he got his brains blown out?

[A]

No, but he probably.

[B]

No, just like a partially decomposed body kind of thing.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

You shit yourself when you die. You could have been. Or someone else is moving in. If it's an office, right? Out with the old. And with the new. I say new carpet. New look, baby. So anyway, he's dead for sure. And here's the proof of life. Oh, wait, there's one other thing. His neighbor reported. New report from his neighbor, days before the ambulance call was he was seen in a wheelchair, pale, mouth slack open, being carted by staffers. Well, that's how he always looks. Yeah, I was gonna say he's been looking like that. Well, I. I have to say that I really think this new bill is really going to be a problem.

[B]

The detail. Mouth slacked open.

[C]

Why do you gotta do that?

[A]

That's what he does.

[B]

Well, that's how you know, it really paints a picture. Yeah.

[A]

I really think that this new bill of being pro trans is really going to set back the family.

[G]

Bong.

[A]

You telling me that guy's not dead? I have a good one. Say it. A.B.

[H]

i was going to say that was

[A]

a pretty good presentation. Thank you. I appreciate that.

[C]

I don't know why they would lie about it.

[A]

You ever seen Dave the movie Anyone?

[E]

Nope.

[A]

The President dies and they get a body double. Come on, nobody's seen that. I love that movie. Nobody. The president dies and they get the body double to pretend to be president. But he actually ends up being a good president because the real president was a Dave.

[B]

Never seen it.

[G]

Haven't seen it.

[A]

Not.

[B]

Not the Iron Man.

[A]

How do you get to that?

[G]

Might be a reading.

[F]

That's the thing where the guys.

[A]

I guess I haven't seen that.

[F]

Locked up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's a huge spoiler.

[D]

Harley.

[A]

That's a great picture. I forget I love this actor, too. I forget his name.

[F]

Leonardo DiCaprio.

[B]

No, I can't see any.

[F]

I can't see anything. I can't see the.

[A]

Gorney Weaver is the hot. Is the hot. Kevin Klein. Yes.

[G]

Oh, yeah, he's great.

[A]

And Sigourney Weaver is the hot first lady. She falls in love with them. He fucks the first lady, bro.

[G]

Honestly, that sounds great.

[A]

And he moves in, and he's actually just, like, a super nice guy. It's awesome.

[C]

We should watch it together.

[A]

I feel like this is actually a good movie. Does it have good reviews or am I just like, pull it up?

[G]

Well, pull it up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Open up Netflix, Ethan.

[G]

I threw in the ambulance transport that people were showing of Mitch. You can basically just see his feet.

[A]

No, you gotta take a look at my gray and dark feet. My skin is turning black, but I'm very much alive. You have to understand, man.

[G]

And people are like, no, he's in a body bag. No, he's. You know, they just. They have no idea It's H in. Yeah, 2H.

[A]

I wanted to finish this. His report.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

There was oxygen tubes running up his face and nose. That's normal. His staffers were crying.

[B]

What?

[A]

No sirens in the emergency vehicle. This is like. This diet is dead as. No sirens only bell. They're not in sirens only bell.

[B]

They're in no hurry.

[G]

No emergency at all.

[A]

Yeah, his pulse is gone. I'll have to tell you that when I was driving in the hot. In the ambulance, I didn't hear any sirens, only heard bells ringing in the distance, so.

[B]

So I have a quick correction because we care about the truth here on the H3 show. What Kate said was true until just two years ago about the governor being able to appoint a temporary replacement. Oh, they changed the law because they knew that was unironically. Yes, they changed the law, probably.

[A]

They're so.

[B]

It will. It will require a special election to fill.

[A]

The Republicans are so damn funny. They like.

[G]

They were.

[A]

Yeah, they're like. They think of everything, you know, I

[G]

think that's when he was elected Andy Beshear.

[B]

So that's probably why I believe it was put in just before he was sworn into office, essentially.

[A]

Harley, nice to see you. I love the shirt. Love the look. Harley, how was your break?

[C]

Sure.

[F]

I actually. I'll be honest. I put it on, and then when I came down here and I looked on the webcam, you know, I was like, oh, I look like Simple Jack.

[C]

What?

[A]

No, that's. That's item. That's items.

[G]

I Almost wore the other color and I should have. Oh, I'm regretting it now. That would have been so cute.

[A]

I don't think you look like Simple Jack, but I know what you mean.

[F]

Yeah, yeah. Like. Like a propeller hat would fit nicely on the top of this head.

[G]

Now.

[A]

You look great. Here's the house. Here's the ambulance. But you look great.

[F]

The set looks great.

[A]

Thank you, bro.

[F]

Yeah. Everyone looks so young and energized and youthful. Not everyone. One person doesn't. I don't want to say it now though, but I'll put it in the group chat.

[B]

We do, eh?

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

The set looks great. Also, I. I played the video games over the break and Tom sent me something secret in the mail and I use the. Out of it, and that's the.

[C]

What

[A]

did he send you a jerk off?

[G]

Tune in.

[C]

Tune in.

[A]

Did I guess. What the. Why is Tom.

[F]

Oh, Inspector Gadget over here. World's greatest detective.

[A]

Well, why is Tom sending you sex toys?

[G]

That's just this thing he told me

[F]

that you made him do it.

[A]

Yeah, right. Send me one. I'll tell you that.

[F]

Six inches is literally so much.

[G]

Also, I have another Working so hard for us for. For A.D. that's. That's.

[B]

Yes, I have another small correction. I had one for Kate. Now I have one for Harley. Inspector Gadget is not the world's best detective. In fact, he's quite a poor. He's quite a poor detective. He's generally his niece and the dog that solved the mysteries. And he just kind of gets by on dumb luck.

[A]

Dumb luck. Batman is the greatest. It was stupid.

[F]

I. I tried to switch from Inspector Gadget it to World's greatest detective, but then it just made it sound, well, who's the best?

[A]

Is it Batman or Sherlock?

[F]

I thought Batman.

[A]

I think Batman.

[G]

He said inspect. Batman's an inspector.

[A]

Investigator.

[F]

Detective.

[A]

Detective.

[F]

Detective.

[B]

I think Sherlock has to take it right. He doesn't have any gadgets or, like, cool things.

[A]

And he still does it. But like, Batman would beat his ass.

[F]

That's why he could beat his ass.

[A]

Batman would kill Sherlock.

[F]

Like, even if Sherlock figured it out, it's like, okay, what are you doing? What are you gonna do now? Now you figured it out. It's the Joker.

[A]

That star to the neck dude. Yeah, how's that? How's that for inspecting and investigate? Investigate this. Okay, whatever, guys.

[B]

Throwing away Colombo as a third option. And I do have to say, yo, a bit of a fan myself.

[A]

Love Colombo.

[F]

What about that French dude? Yeah.

[B]

Or whatever.

[A]

All right, let's Watch. Mitch, go ahead. Be rushed or not be rushed. Leisurely. Take a ride to the. To the. Then the funeral. The morg. Yeah, the morg.

[G]

Meat locker.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

There's.

[A]

There's very little urgency happening here.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

You hear that? Wait, you guys hear that?

[H]

There he is.

[A]

I hear that. Does anybody hear that? Oh, I. I hear the bell. Does anybody else hear that?

[G]

You can just see his feet there.

[A]

This is so funny. Obtained by cnn. What did you obtain exactly? All right, well, anyway, he's dead, so here's the picture. They showed proof of life here. And you tell me if you find this convincing.

[G]

We're gonna need a poll on this one for sure.

[A]

Look at me. I'm so happy and healthy. I never felt better. I just finished my jello in the hospital. I just feel so energized. I feel so ready to get back to work. Look at his finger. Look at his finger. That does not look right at all. What is happening there?

[F]

What is a very bad way to rest your hand?

[C]

It could just be a weird photo. No.

[A]

Like, why is he pressing down and

[B]

not totally convinced that it's fake? I guess it's possible it could have been an old photo and they photoshopped in. A current newspaper would maybe explain any irregularities there.

[F]

Is that a newspaper that he's pointing at?

[A]

Did I show you this?

[B]

Yes.

[G]

Today's paper, the Washington Post.

[A]

Have I made this comparison before?

[E]

Yeah, the Internet definitely has.

[G]

Yeah, the world has.

[E]

I sent you the real image.

[A]

I was in the first.

[E]

There's. There. That's an editor version. I actually sent you the real one on Discord.

[A]

I feel great. I've never felt better. I can't wait to get back into Congress.

[F]

I feel like you could take this a body and put us an open eyes, smiling face on it.

[A]

It. Right.

[F]

Like a face app. Just face.

[A]

Yo, can this be the. The. The highlight thumbnails?

[C]

Oh, my God. That's so good.

[G]

Proof of life.

[A]

I don't know what that is.

[B]

I think there's somebody else's thumb I talking about.

[A]

Oh, but can we. Oh, wait, Ab. Is this someone else's or did you just.

[H]

No, no, I just. I just said. Could you make. I asked Chad.

[A]

Yeah, this is ours.

[H]

A Mitch McConnell style.

[A]

That's thumbnail. That's got to be our highlight thumbnail.

[E]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

That's so funny. What. What am I crazy?

[F]

That's yours, though.

[A]

It is mine.

[E]

Check the Instagram.

[F]

I don't know if you're allowed to do that, though.

[A]

So let's see here. The Instagram link Love sent me. Is the real one okay?

[E]

It's clean.

[A]

No. What? What is this? What is this? That's the unedited looks. Happy, Healthy. I'm happy I'm healthy because you've been

[E]

on break for three weeks now, so people were wondering. I'm glad you posted this photo.

[C]

This reminds me of when you did the AI photo of Ethan and then it just generated a new crew member behind him.

[E]

Yeah, no, I, I, I asked to show himself and.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

No, but doesn't it look, doesn't it look like an AI artifact here? Like, it doesn't look like it's obeying the laws of.

[B]

I don't think necessarily AI, but I could see it being a Photoshop artifact.

[G]

Again, if you go to the third link. Yeah, the third link. They kind of break down bits of it. The AI photo argument, you can see. I mean, I don't know how compelling the argument actually is. The weirdest one to me is his finger. It looks like there's like a piece of something underneath it between him and the paper. It's weird.

[A]

Let's take a closer look. Has he been seen in public yet?

[C]

That.

[B]

No. And that's what I will point out is it's somewhat moot if the photo is real or not. Let's just assume for a second that it's real. This is the best proof of life that they can offer. I mean, how about, like, just a short video of him being like, hey, it's Mitch here. I'm okay. You know what I mean? Like that. Just the fact that this is what

[A]

they put out tells me that he

[B]

probably is, like, non verbal. Like, he probably cannot put his hand there.

[A]

So I'm going on the record. This is Tim Pool. We're, we're. No, this isn't.

[G]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Thank God. This isn't Timp. I was like, yo, this is trouble, man.

[B]

This is cool. Tim.

[A]

Bag of turret. I'm going on the record. This photo is AI generated. He's on the record. He's staking his own trouble.

[B]

Underscore Man 90.

[A]

This is a new Mike Straw situation.

[G]

Oh, for sure.

[A]

The words on the newspaper should at least somewhat recognize, but when you zoom in, even just a little bit, the letters and words are completely destroyed and disordered by AI. Okay, let's see here. I mean, yeah, maybe. Oh, you can compare it to the real headline. That's interesting. That does not match up, does it? Actually, it might. Hold on.

[C]

It kind of does. Actually.

[A]

It does match up.

[F]

Also, if you're Going to AI it. I feel like that's a bad shirt pattern for him to have on. Like, AI is going to mess up that shirt pattern if you zoom up in on it somewhere.

[C]

Yeah. Because AI kind of sucks. So it wouldn't be this accurate to the actual newspaper.

[A]

But also, people are.

[F]

He's also a huge loser. I talk to him all the time.

[G]

Mitch McConnell.

[F]

No, AI.

[G]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[A]

Version I've heard has even touched boobs.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

Whoa.

[A]

So that.

[G]

There are also people who have said that this photo was originally published. Published widely in 2023. That's not true.

[C]

True.

[G]

So that's fake.

[F]

It's handmade fake. Photoshop School American Made fake. Not some computer.

[B]

That's kind of what I'm saying. Why use AI? Like, it could just be like, Photoshop could do it way clearer.

[A]

I guess my point is it's edited. It's not like a genuine.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Right.

[A]

He released a statement. Oh, a written statement? Really? Mitch, why don't you get on camera and read it for us?

[C]

So you all think the photo is fake, right?

[A]

Well, something's fishy here because this guy was on life support a couple days ago, and then all of a sudden, Lindsay, Lindsey Graham goes to visit Mitch and then he dies. And Mitch is alive. Do you want to explain that? Like, someone made a deal with the. Someone had a chat with the death demon he kept seeing in the background and bought himself a couple extra months.

[G]

Someone pulled out the fiddle and challenged the devil and it's still here.

[H]

I agree.

[A]

Like in berserk. What does he say when he agrees to sacrifice his friends?

[F]

Who? Griffith?

[B]

Yeah, Spoiler alert, bro.

[E]

Stop spoiling stuff.

[A]

What does he say?

[B]

I don't remember.

[A]

He's like, I agree. Take her soul. I agree.

[B]

Now, you just threw out there that Lindsay went and visited him.

[A]

He was going to. He made a big proclamation. He was going to visit his. My friend. And then all of a sudden, he's fucking dead and Mitch is walking.

[B]

So he like, sucked the life force out.

[A]

Like the demon took his soul essence and put it in Mitch.

[E]

What other old person can we send to check on him, Nancy?

[A]

He just keeps sucking their soul. He believes he's the next old person.

[E]

What?

[C]

Nancy Pelosi or some shit?

[B]

What's the idea?

[G]

Just a. I'm thinking of an elderly person that should definitely go visit you.

[B]

All right, you probably gotta say it.

[D]

Say it.

[A]

What old people? What old person do you want to die? Oh, you all know.

[G]

Okay, you all know.

[A]

I've got a friend for My terrific. I got a visit today for my terrific good friend Donald Trump. I'm feeling. I'm feeling extremely healthy and good today.

[G]

He's like sucking their souls out.

[A]

Here's Mitch McConnell's statement, which he refuses to say on camera.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

To my fellow Kentuckians, when he elected me to a seventh term and made our commonwealth the longest serving senator. You did so trusting that I'd keep showing up to fight for you. Every day as I sit here on life support, I ask you to send your love to old ones to visit me so that I can feast on their life force, so that I can live longer and finish my term. Let's face it, the old people are just a burden on our society. Send them to me and I'll feast on their soul.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

What a statement.

[A]

And over the past several weeks, Elaine and I have appreciated both your well wishes and the souls of your old folks. Your honest questions about what was keeping me away from the Senate. You all know how folks in my generation often hesitate to share vulnerability. Shut up, old idiot. We all know you're dying.

[F]

A good thing you stopped, by the way. I. I swear you were gonna get stuck with that accent for like 40 minutes.

[A]

Nah. Yeah, I know when. I know when they get out. But at the same time, I've had more than my share of experiences with physical vulnerabilities. For example, I just stared into space for 20 minutes on live television. Surviving childhood polio.

[D]

What?

[A]

This guy had polio?

[E]

That's how old he is, bro.

[A]

That's crazy.

[C]

Crazy. Let's.

[A]

Dude, what's next, bro? Did you ride a. Try Triceratops to work when he had.

[E]

He had the black.

[A]

Yeah. What else did you survive?

[H]

Consumption.

[A]

Seriously? What an old ass loser. They exact. They haven't exactly gotten easier to manage with age. And last month I took a fall, which landed me in the hospital. I took a little bit of a spill last month. My brain waves have been simmering down since then. The doctors have confirmed that I didn't break any bones or suffer a concussion. I didn't have a heart attack or a stroke. Is that right? I didn't have a tumor or any hemorrhages. I have to tell you, I feel great. I was briefly unconscious. Just for a moment. Just for a moment. It's like taking a little nap. And I was. And I was taken to the hospital. How was that? It was an abundance of caution. I was taken to the hospital unconscious, on the ground, drooling. Turns out I'm totally fine.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

While receiving excellent care over the past several weeks, I've also had to deal with. With a mild case of pneumonia. I'm. I've got pneumonia. I'm hemorrhaging blood from my nose. I'll be in Congress. I'll tell you. Ain't nothing gonna keep me out of that chair. So there it is. To our longest serving elected Kentuckan or whatever the. I once knew a man from Kentucky whose dick looked like a pucky. I don't know, Nantucky. Thank you. Thank you, Mormons. Thank you.

[C]

You.

[A]

I'm so glad they're back. If I missed anyone, it was them. It's so good.

[F]

Kentuckians. Is that what they go by?

[A]

Kentucky Kentuckians.

[F]

I don't know if I like that. I feel like they should be called Kentuckies.

[A]

Should we call Tuckins? I like Tuckins.

[G]

Tucking your tucker.

[A]

I like tucking my dip between my legs. Between your legs. So anyway, let's do a poll. Is it AI. Is he alive or is he. Is it a cadaver being paraded around?

[G]

Yeah. Is he alive or dead?

[A]

Dead or. Or let's say incapacitated. Let's say. Let's say was the photo. What do we say?

[G]

There's so many polls we could do here.

[B]

You gotta think carefully or you're gonna be hit with the bad pole.

[A]

That's what I'm worried about.

[C]

Like, do you believe the photo or not?

[A]

Is he. Is Mitch semicolon?

[F]

Can you form a sentence in that picture?

[A]

Mitch semicolon.

[B]

Is Mitch semicolon.

[A]

Fine.

[G]

Should be a call.

[A]

Or dead or dying.

[B]

Dead or dying.

[A]

Well, we're all dead or dying. We're all dying in some way. Isn't that right?

[B]

This feels like a terrible poll, but

[A]

I'm gonna well amend it then. Listen, no joy fucking Alexander Hamilton. Amend it.

[B]

It's your.

[G]

Just rip the band aid off for the first bad poll of the year of the season.

[A]

I don't want that on my shoulder.

[B]

It's bound to happen it already. We already did that. Somebody called my first poll about pole.

[A]

Okay. Oh, yeah.

[B]

They weren't happy with it. Is Mitch perfectly fine or dead or dying?

[A]

Yeah, not perfectly fine. Obviously he's not perfectly fine.

[H]

Okay.

[B]

You.

[A]

Why would you insert perfectly? You know, because I was gonna be

[F]

leading answer a bit.

[B]

Well, I was gonna add more gradients, but you know what? I'm just gonna stick with your original pole. A lot of people like Ethan.

[F]

How many options are you allowed?

[G]

What about clinical?

[F]

Oh, oh, I don't know about that.

[G]

Oh, I thought dead and dying were Going to be separate.

[F]

Me too.

[A]

No, they're together.

[F]

We're allowed to say this out loud. We're supposed to be a unified front.

[A]

I think what's dead or dying?

[F]

I feel.

[G]

I feel you're sharing because we're sharing this.

[A]

Yeah, but I feel. Yo, that is a blowout.

[G]

Change my shirt.

[A]

That is a blowout for. For Mitch. Mitch, if you're not dead, we all think you are, buddy. 93.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Well, I'm not dead. I'm still here, damn it. Sure, buddy. Well, he's dead. I'm still alive. Sure, whatever you say, dude. Ghost ass. Casper looking ass. I'm here live also. Anyway, so if he's not dead, I'll tell you one who's definitely toast is Lady Lindsay. Lindsey Graham. Lady Graham. And the minute he died, wouldn't you be surprised that a former trans sex worker immediately posted about that she was having a regular affair with Lindsay and that he funded her transition and like her whole early life just woke up. So this is from someone named James. Jesse James Rose, I believe James is smiling is the.

[G]

Yeah. Full name is Jesse James Rose.

[A]

Eulogy for a horny hypocrite. I just woke up to find out Lindsey Graham is dead.

[D]

Lol.

[A]

That's the best way to acknowledge a death, by the way. I like to do that too. Most of you know him as a homophobic senator from South Carolina. But to me, he will always be the man who paid a twinkie pre transition college student a fat stack of cash to do unspeakable things to him in a hotel room while we. While he wore red lingerie. That's quite a scene, sir. Unspeakable. My God, it is a canon trans event to have far right freaks bankrolling you and then turning around and voting against you. People love to judge us for it, but I never see them opening their wallets. Like people love to judge us for it, but never see them opening their wallet.

[G]

Yeah, like people questioning them, you know, giving pleasure to these Republicans. But they're the ones who are paying, right? They're the ones that are actually giving them money. So a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

[F]

It's a little up red lingerie. I feel like blue would be the color to wear if you were. If you had his skin and. Yeah, so red is just off putting.

[G]

He should have been to a colorist before he died.

[A]

He's a Republican. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He got to keep it real.

[F]

It's just not you. It's not you. You Know what I mean?

[B]

No, not that I.

[A]

Pause. AI, I need to see one of him in blue and one of him in red, please. And we can be the judge. Go ahead, Dan.

[F]

That's worth a couple glasses of water.

[G]

Color. Color analysis. Color analysis on Lindsey Graham.

[B]

Yeah, I forgot what I was going to say.

[A]

Sorry, did I derail you?

[B]

Yeah, big time.

[A]

I like to think it was important.

[F]

Well, let's get it. We can get it. Let's rewind the conversation a little bit. What were we talking about? Dan, we can do it. We can. Mine your brain.

[A]

A shout out to sex workers everywhere forced to humanize their enemies to make rent. It's an absolute mindfuck to me that one of the reasons I have any semblance of financial security and a lack of student loans phones is because of this man. Shout out. I guess at the same time I had no idea who he was. And I only figured it out because another group, another group of twinks leaked Lady G to the media. Some queers tried to grandstand critique this saying we shouldn't out people. I. Oh my.

[F]

Wait, hold on. I'm losing track. Too many characters. What happened?

[A]

This is a. This is a trans sex worker that slept with Lindsay Graham. According to them. According to them, I believe bigots with power deserve no peace or privacy, especially when they hold public office. Yeah, I totally agree. Who cares about outing Lindsay Graham? Him.

[F]

But who's lady? Who's lady?

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[G]

G was how. How Lindsey Graham was known to them. The girls, the dolls.

[F]

Then who. Who are some queers?

[G]

Some queers, I think, were the people who questioned outing him.

[A]

I think he was known in this community as someone that was frequently visiting sex workers.

[B]

So who is gay?

[A]

I'm glad they did it. Icons forever. Anyway, if you've ever enjoyed what I do on the Internet, know that it is in part because of Lindsay's generous donations over a decade ago. So there you go. Shout out to Lindsey Graham, who supported Lindsay. Rest in hell for what you did to our community. There it is. I will continue to love queer and trans people harder than you ever hated a us.

[G]

Amen.

[A]

And again, allegedly, according to this person here. But I. I choose to believe it. It has to be true. So, yeah, we got two of the big conservative ops on the rocks here. Well, one of them is below the rocks and one of them's on the rocks. You know what I'm saying? And somehow Trump has out survived everybody, buddy. While being like the most physically unhealthy looking person alive. Excuse me. Somebody had to do it. Yeah, that's true.

[G]

It does remind you that they're all going to die, though, you know? And that's. And that's a nice silver lining.

[A]

It starts to feel like Trump's going to live forever. You know what I mean?

[C]

He ain't like.

[A]

There's something about Diet Cokes and Big Macs that just keeps the heart ticking. Ethan, thank you very much. You're very welcome, sir. I'm impressed with your longevity, Dr. Ethan Klein. Thank you, sir. Yes, as your doctor, I'm. I'm impressed with your longevity, sir. Let's see. Let's move on to the goofs and gaffs. The crew preparing. This isn't funny. Why is this funny? The H crew is getting ready on Monday morning. This is me. Was. How was. What does this. What does this mean?

[F]

Oh, yeah, this. I thought this was good. You didn't like this? I thought this is a good post here.

[A]

What about this is like me? What do you mean?

[D]

I.

[F]

No offense. Somehow the energy is just like.

[A]

It's.

[F]

It somehow.

[G]

I don't know, pre dawn. Pre dawn on the toilet, you know, vibes.

[F]

It's also very boss. This guy, he's running. He's running the whole operation. It's like.

[A]

But he's also like a psycho. He's. And he sleeps in like tar.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

He kisses his nephew on the lips.

[A]

Here's Hila. CEO putting on jacket. Fair Dan shaving the dome. Probably true. Has your dome cleanly shaved, Dan?

[B]

Did it say Monday morning? I didn't shave it this morning.

[A]

When did you shave it last?

[B]

Like Saturday.

[A]

Okay, fair.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

What is. I don't know. This is like a caddyshack plugging in.

[H]

Like.

[A]

Okay, okay, fair.

[D]

Fair.

[A]

Alina looking like a princess.

[G]

So accurate. So good.

[A]

Love is McDonald's and Pokemon.

[E]

That's not love.

[A]

Fat.

[F]

Loved all of them.

[E]

They forgot me in this list.

[A]

Tamara is. Whatever. I don't know what the. I mean, somehow this works. But I don't really understand why it's Claymation. Because they're English. Because they're English and it's Claymation. They're Claymation and they're eating levels. Get it together, guys.

[F]

Come on.

[B]

And also tomorrow always talks about how she's always eating toast.

[G]

She's not with her dog.

[A]

She likes beans on toast.

[B]

She likes toast.

[A]

Zach is outside the Rolex store, who is a. It's a real Kimasabe Kumisabe at the. Outside the Rolex store. Nate with his legs up, chilling dad style. Oh, yeah. Gallia is eating a bunch of pancakes. The.

[F]

I think it's just like. She's just. She's the wrong.

[A]

She's ready. Yeah. Yeah.

[F]

That's handling whatever's coming her way.

[A]

Okay. That's fair. That's true. Also, shout out. Tom is plumbing at Denny's.

[F]

This one in a B confused me. The rest I. But I thought I didn't know the

[A]

lore enough, I guess. Well, he's. Well, he's. He looks like Johnny Sins. Oh, that's a Tamara.

[G]

That must be him. Oh, okay. Yeah.

[A]

I don't know why. Oh, because he's a porn star. He's like a porn star plumber at Denny's. Okay.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Cleaning up my mess. Yeah, that's a good. Actually, that works really nice. I don't understand this one, Kate.

[G]

Well, people think I have little baby doll hands and little doll feet.

[F]

You were dressed as a cabbage patch that one day also.

[G]

And I dressed.

[F]

You were dressed as a cabbage patch.

[C]

My favorite memes.

[G]

It's so stupid.

[C]

I love it when Kate was like snapping back at somebody on Twitter and they're like, they'll post a photo of like little Dolphy, like, Kate.

[A]

Oh, yeah, okay. I've seen those memes. Yeah, I've seen those Harley. All the hats. Lots of hats.

[F]

Same hat, too. I was wearing the same hat for like four months.

[G]

Trying to choose one. It's really hard.

[A]

I think you're more. I think you're more than just a hat. I mean, clearly you're not even wearing a hat hat. You got that.

[F]

I. Yeah, got that simple Jack. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[F]

But this, this is good, though. I did wear the same hat for like 100.

[G]

So it's true. You do have shaggy energy.

[A]

I will say for sure, David is Peewee Herman just the Jack of all trades. He does everything.

[F]

Yeah, just r. And enjoyed it. But what did it mean? Why did David get so destroyed on this one?

[A]

No, it's cuz he's. He runs all the gadgets.

[F]

Oh. I thought he wax off in movie theaters.

[A]

No, no, I don't.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I was going to ask. Did you go to any adult theaters for your bachelor party?

[F]

Definitely not.

[D]

No.

[A]

Doesn't.

[F]

No.

[A]

Not on the planet.

[F]

You just sat there and just watched the movie and didn't whack off. Are you sick in the head, David?

[A]

You wrote a synopsis.

[G]

Yeah,

[A]

justice for Pee Wee Herman, by the way. Who goes to a adult movie theater and doesn't jerk off?

[H]

Isn't that the point?

[A]

Literally, like, you just.

[D]

That was.

[A]

You're like. Yeah, I'm just here. Here with my boys enjoying a flick. It's like if you go in that theater, especially if you're going. Well, not. I don't know why I say especially. That's stupid. Actually. I'm not gonna finish the sentence now.

[F]

Can I. Can I finish it? Because I. I thought.

[G]

Oh, God.

[F]

I liked. I liked smelling what you were cooking there.

[A]

Go ahead.

[D]

Agree.

[G]

I'm nervous.

[F]

I think by getting Peewee Herman into all that trouble for whacking off in the movie theater, I think you did major damage to the entire industry. A whole generation of potential Gooners, myself included, were like, I'm not gonna go there.

[A]

You were gonna go there.

[F]

The cops are gonna. No, I never. I heard about this at like 8 or 9 or something. Whenever it happened, I was like. I was like, he did what? Where there's movie theaters. Like, movies theaters are new. I didn't know. There's whackoff movie theaters and you're not allowed to whack off in them.

[A]

Well, the police. Well, you. Apparently you are, but I don't. I don't really know the details. Like what. What kind of police? Just come raid.

[G]

Feels like entrapment. Yeah, it feels like he got set up. That's what I think happened.

[A]

Why. Why do you all hate about Pee Wee Herman? He just wants to jerk. Put his. You know what I mean? Just wants to get together with the homies and beat it to porn.

[F]

Is it gay? Is it gay to be a police officer? Specifically staking out the whack off movie theater?

[E]

Obviously.

[A]

100.

[F]

Fellas. Fellas. Is it. We got a poll up. Is it cool if your boy does stakeouts at the whackoff movie theater?

[A]

It is.

[G]

Sound off below.

[A]

Let me. Let me answer for you.

[D]

It is.

[A]

We also put out the camping video. Everybody was very angry about it. I liked it. I thought it was funny. People were angry.

[G]

I forgot about how angry people were.

[A]

I liked it. I think a lot of people liked it. But a lot of people were saying, you didn't even go camping. We did go camping. This is what happened. We went camping. See what happens? We ended up with this, you know, And I thought it was funny. We did sleep there. It didn't show it. What does it matter if we show you that we're sleeping there? Oh, I'm asleep now. We officially camped, you know.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

I don't know, but I thought they were joking. The audience, when they were complaining. I thought they were joking.

[A]

I.

[B]

Maybe somewhere.

[C]

I thought those. I thought, that's totally valid. And when I said when we were there that we needed footage to show that it was overnight.

[F]

Hold on. Did you guys fake it?

[A]

No, we slept there.

[C]

No, they slept. Ethan actually was gone for two nights.

[A]

I slept there two nights because he

[C]

went the night before.

[A]

Yeah. One of them was so windy that I thought. I thought I was gonna die. You remember that one? D night Ab.

[E]

Yeah.

[H]

Yeah. I. I thought I was gonna wake up in Oz that night.

[A]

Yes. I was crazy.

[F]

Why is he laughing? It sounds like a lie. Did you guys not spend the night there? Why does he be laughing like that?

[A]

Sounds like he was windy. Because I.

[H]

Okay, so I got there first. I. I mean, Ethan was there and it was me. And I think tomorrow was there at first. And it was so windy that night. I was thinking, like, there's no way we're gonna be able to record anything here. Yeah, I was surprised we got anything because it was so windy up there.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And then we did have to evacuate at one point because of a fire.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then. Yeah, and then that got canceled and then we went back and set everything up.

[E]

So.

[B]

Yeah, it was a. It was a chaotic day.

[A]

We're doing our best for you guys. You think I wanted to go camping?

[B]

Dude, who cares? It was fun and the video was

[A]

great, so it didn't get to me. I thought it was fun and I'm happy with how it turned out. And listen, if you want more camping, if you want proof of. Of. Of proof of purchase or whatever, we have a long form video of us around the campfire talking and being silly. Gooner, not Gooners. We weren't turkey. I mean goons. Why.

[C]

Why into the camp?

[E]

What the were you doing?

[A]

No, you were. I don't know why. That's. The Gooners like reappropriated that word. Like I goon now. You say goon all the time now. What? It has to be.

[H]

Well, listen, there's a reason why we didn't show the footage from night time.

[A]

Okay, I'm just gonna say that you're all jerking off. No, I'm not gonna go sleep. I'm gonna immediately turn off the camera, climb to bed, strip naked and jerk off until I come all over my own chest. That's disgusting. Pro Jared. That is so foul. Why did you have to say it like that?

[H]

To Ethan's credit, he stayed in a very small town tent. And I feel like where your position. That tent was probably like the windiest.

[A]

It wasn't. The second night wasn't too bad.

[H]

It wasn't too bad?

[A]

No, it wasn't too windy. The first night was insane. It wasn't anything like that.

[D]

Yeah,

[A]

pro Jared. Why do you have to say it like that's disgusting, bro. You're gonna cuck me, I'm gonna get in bed and I'm gonna come all over. My face. My own face. Just. Just his people. That's how he talks to his people. Go ahead, Zach, play it again. A lot of people want to know if I did any of that.

[C]

That.

[A]

Yeah, I did.

[G]

Yeah, I did.

[A]

No, I'm not gonna go sleep. I'm gonna immediately turn off the camera, climb to bed, strip naked and jerk off until I come all over my own chest. You believe that? Gabe. You know who that is?

[G]

Gabe's still here?

[A]

Yeah. Sorry I caught you off guard there a little bit. You thought we forgot about you.

[C]

Hey, Gabe.

[D]

Oh, so it's a funny story, our oldest expressing yourself kind of thing.

[A]

Yeah, no, that you could be. That's one way to put it.

[D]

Yeah, let's do that. Yeah.

[A]

Making. He's doing.

[F]

Not even. I never met this guy introduced me.

[C]

Oh, what?

[F]

I never met that guy.

[A]

You're serious, you never met Gabe?

[F]

Well, I've seen him on the show a billion times, but I never met him.

[C]

He's never interacted.

[F]

Oh, Harley, can you see us?

[A]

You can see him on the screen there. Oh, can you put him behind Gabe?

[D]

Gabe?

[A]

That'd be kind of cool. Hey, how are you on the big screen there behind Gabo? Oh, put.

[B]

Put that. But then he'll have to turn around.

[A]

Yeah, it's funny.

[H]

Okay.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Well, it would just. It would look cool. Well, you could look. He doesn't have to turn around.

[G]

It's all in one frame.

[A]

He could look at my monitor still, but I think it just looks cool Here, check it out. Check out what we can do.

[B]

One second.

[A]

You know Harley and Kate.

[D]

Gabe.

[F]

Harley, how are you?

[D]

How are you doing? Harley, Kate, how you doing? Good. Yourself? Yeah. Nice to meet you.

[B]

Turn around.

[G]

Nice to meet you.

[A]

They're behind you.

[F]

I like behind you.

[B]

Gabe.

[F]

Oh, hey, I'm right here. Oh,

[A]

they've been there the whole time. Is that crazy? Well, you guys are matching. Why didn't I just realize you guys are matching? Did you guys cord well?

[C]

Yeah, we've been matching the whole time.

[G]

Wait, you switching the whole time? What are you talking about?

[F]

When did that happen?

[A]

Oh my God.

[C]

Kate did some action.

[A]

Tripping out.

[D]

What happened?

[A]

Hiding. What are you talking about?

[G]

This is what I wore today.

[A]

My mind is too old and you can't with me like that.

[C]

She's with you.

[G]

I do a little trolling.

[A]

Yeah. So Gabe, this is Harley and Kate. They're great.

[D]

Harley and Kate. Nice.

[F]

Nice to meet you.

[D]

It's good. Nice to meet you.

[C]

Nice to meet you.

[A]

So anyway, I. I liked it. You know what I mean?

[C]

In.

[A]

But anyway, so for members, we have a long form campfire where we're making s', mores. Sitting around the campfire and talking our. So you don't want to miss that. Right. Love. Is that, Is that on your plate?

[E]

Yeah, but I haven't looked through the footage yet, so there is a large possibility that it's awful. I'm just going to be honest.

[H]

You know, I think, I think honesty is very important.

[G]

Yeah, they're going to want it.

[H]

I don't want to oversell if you know, it's very.

[A]

Well, it's like a vlog. People were like, I want long format.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

People like, I wanted a three or four hour episode of you guys camping. So here it is.

[E]

Well, you know, you oversell it and I'll just undersell it a little bit and we'll find the middle.

[A]

I didn't oversell it. I just said it's us sitting around a camp.

[D]

I have something to say.

[A]

Go ahead, please.

[D]

Movie I watched last Friday, it's called Mona. It's like a Disney movie. It's so boring. I can't get the story.

[A]

Is that the rock?

[G]

Moana?

[A]

Mona, Is that the rock one?

[G]

Moana?

[A]

Yeah. This is with the rock?

[D]

Yeah, something like that. It's like it takes place in home.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't good.

[F]

The cartoon or the movie?

[B]

It looked like dog.

[A]

No, they made a live action.

[D]

It's like a live action kind of. It's almost like a cartoon. It's. I can't get the story. It's. Sometimes it's so boring. It's like you can just doze off and fall asleep.

[A]

Oh my God. Was it a nice nap at least.

[D]

At least it's. At least I. I get to relax peacefully.

[A]

I hate the rock, bro. I'm not in. I'm not watching any of that. You could take that.

[D]

It's like a crappy, boring movie. It's like me and my nephew just said, just leave at the middle.

[A]

Yeah,

[D]

yeah.

[A]

Barely even had time for it now.

[E]

Did you eat popcorn at least?

[D]

I didn't have popcorn. I wasn't that hungry. Damn.

[E]

What up?

[G]

That don't matter. You eat popcorn?

[A]

Yeah, when you need to be hungry.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Let's order some.

[G]

Popcorn is much better. Oh, I love Popcorn.

[E]

You can. I have.

[F]

I. I do that often. By the way, I order popcorn.

[H]

Yeah.

[E]

I mean, I've done it twice.

[A]

Like the dumbest thing ever to order.

[F]

It has really. The. The movie really good.

[E]

Oh, why don't you just make it. It's a big difference, bro. It's way better.

[G]

Okay. Amish.

[A]

Wow. I just never. I guess I'm not like a pop head.

[H]

I never even thought of that.

[E]

Amish.

[A]

I wonder if Paul Rubens was eating popcorn when he. He got arrested in that theater. His dick was through the bottom of the popcorn. That's how he's hiding.

[G]

Just for himself.

[F]

That's crazy.

[A]

You gotta lube it up that buttery. You're supposed to show me. When I. Yeah, he was. He had his hand in the popcorn bowl like this.

[G]

All right, that's good. That's a good one.

[A]

Brain freeze.

[D]

Isn't that Ethan?

[G]

I'm concerned with your. Your. Your form.

[F]

That was cool for him.

[A]

No, because you had to dig it because you had to go in the box.

[C]

Ah.

[A]

You can't jerk off like this. You have to do like this.

[B]

True.

[G]

Oh, that's true.

[D]

I don't know if he hit the jackpot.

[H]

Right?

[D]

At least.

[A]

What's the jackpot?

[D]

Underneath the bottom of the bottom of the barrel or something. The bottom?

[A]

Yeah, Everything.

[F]

Balls too.

[E]

Right?

[G]

Falls are through the bottom.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

You can't forget about the ball. You got to put your balls in that popcorn corn bucket. And what are we talking about? Can we get off that? I don't even know what the we're talking about. This is what happens when you have

[G]

Harley on the show.

[F]

Everyone I was gay brought it up.

[G]

He called it. Okay.

[A]

But you know the movie theater. They trap you and that's how they sell you that. The thought of ordering that when you're free to explore the entire world of food is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life.

[G]

You know, Harley getting roasted.

[F]

Ordering popcorn.

[D]

But.

[F]

But popcorn is really specific things, though. I can't be like, I'm not gonna get movie theater popcorn because I could get steak.

[D]

Dude.

[A]

Popcorn bags is fine. You know what I mean? But it's like, what?

[F]

Popcorn bags?

[A]

You could you cook it in the microwave or on the stove top?

[F]

It's fine. This is like. This is like not the same. Such a huge universe apart. Not only that, but like, I don't do this at any movie theater. There is one movie theater that people from like six hours away, they'll. They'll drive and they'll. They'll Stop by that movie.

[E]

Movie?

[A]

They'll get.

[F]

They'll get popcorn from there.

[H]

Is it the peewee theater?

[F]

No, you're not allowed to whack off in this theater.

[A]

Reuben Cinema. But you do anyway, right? Oh, you know, I saw a movie that. I saw Obsession that everybody was. Oh, lots of hubub about.

[F]

Why'd you hate it?

[A]

I didn't say that. What the hell?

[D]

Oh.

[C]

Oh my God.

[F]

Love told me you hated it.

[A]

Why'd you say that?

[E]

Do you think that's true?

[A]

Who says I hate him? Do you think that's true? Yeah. Why'd you say that?

[E]

Well, you said that or. No, no, Hila told me that. Yeah, I'm just. I'm just keeping the Shanghai guys.

[A]

Stop confusing the audience. Let me just tell the story.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

People are trying to watch this. Oh, I don't know.

[E]

I don't think they're back.

[A]

So no, I heard lots of buzz about this movie. It cost like half a million dollars and it made like, like Hunt. Like $500 million or something insane. I don't know. Google it. But. And it had really good reviews. So I went to see it. It was very good. I thought it would be more like a kind of like a psychological thriller type of like. But it was like just a real. It was like a horror movie and it scared the shit. I was. I was very creeped out and spooked silly by it. It.

[C]

Okay, it was like I was terrified. Yeah, I. I think there was a big psychological element to it.

[A]

It was more horror than I expected, let's say. But like the part, because there was like lots of jump scares and also lots of like the creepy movements she did. That's the part that creeped me out the most was like the lit, like. Oh, that made me. It was so creepy.

[F]

At one point, he wakes up in the room and she's in the corner there.

[A]

That's terrifying, bro.

[F]

Really hurt.

[D]

Fine.

[G]

Yeah.

[F]

Or the first one comes back home.

[A]

Oh my God.

[C]

I just. As soon as the movie ended, I was like, I just need to get out of here. I just. I want to go.

[A]

I was waiting for it to end. I liked it, but I was waiting for it to end cuz I was just so uncomfortable.

[F]

You know what's pretty interesting is apparently the director said he modeled it after Simpsons Treehouse of horror episodes and that the pacing kind of feels like it goes in really quickly, like there's no time to waste.

[D]

It.

[F]

It goes into it and moves through it really fast. I don't know. Heard that on the Internet. Could be a lie.

[A]

I think it's probably true. I think if you're a fan of scary or horror movies, you'll definitely like it.

[C]

Yeah, I feel like I got hoisted into going because I thought I didn't know anything about it.

[A]

So I, I didn't either.

[C]

We don't usually watch horror movies. I get, I get nightmares.

[A]

No, I don't like horror movies. But, but I did like, I was

[C]

thinking it was going to be like up or like, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like get out. Get out, get out.

[A]

Like I wouldn't describe get out as a horror movie.

[C]

Get out.

[A]

Even though it was like scary, unsettling.

[C]

It was the poor movie and it's not up.

[H]

I don't, I don't want to spoil it, but you know the scene where there's like a jump scare by the car?

[C]

That's the one that is stuck in my head.

[H]

Okay. So I, I sent a video. This is right after I watched it with my niece. I scared the living out of her. She was in the car and I, I, I ran up on her like

[A]

that, like that scene, that one didn't bother me that much. For some reason the ones of the creepy movements scared the out of me.

[C]

I hated that. It was, it was just so like, you see, I don't know, it was very.

[A]

Yeah, it felt cartoonish. I don't know. The part where she walked backwards was terrifying. That, that, I hated all that. That part was super. Or like when she would pop when, like the first time when they were having. I'm just, I don't care. They were having sex and she screams like she gets startled.

[C]

Every man's worst nightmare.

[A]

Yes.

[G]

Sounds like I'm just gonna read the Wikipedia about that one.

[C]

But, but I just want to say her performance is like phenomenal because the whole movie is just her performance. Performance. They barely like switch locations. It's very simple. But her performance is like incredible.

[F]

Even that guy, that guy was a really good actor. But you can't even really like, no offense to him. It's just she was on such a level. It was like I, I was sending, I would go see whatever next two movies she's in, even if the next one sucks. She's just got me for two movies, no matter what.

[A]

Good faith.

[F]

Because it was so good. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's really good.

[A]

Yeah. But I really, I really like seeing movies with new faces. I'm so sick seeing the same old dumb ass actors in every movie.

[G]

Shalom.

[A]

Stop doing that.

[F]

I saw, I saw Supergirl and, and Jason. Momoa was in it, and he's also Aquaman, but he wasn't playing Aquaman, but it's in the Superman universe.

[E]

Oh, weird.

[D]

And I.

[F]

So I was like, I don't know if we need another him here.

[D]

What's that?

[F]

I saw it in a movie theater that you guys have. We don't have it. They have. The screen goes all along the walls of the movie theater. You guys have that. We don't have that in Canada.

[G]

Talking about the wraparound kind of thing, it's like.

[F]

No, no. Like the.

[D]

The.

[F]

The screens there, and then all along the walls are panels, so the entire left and right of.

[A]

Seems like too much to look at.

[F]

Oh, it's all peripheral there.

[G]

It's like.

[F]

Yeah, I like it because it. It brightens up the theater more. And I don't really like bright being in, like, watching movies in the dark that much.

[G]

Oh, you scared?

[A]

Well, at any rate, listen, it was good, and that's really.

[H]

And.

[A]

But it was scary, and so that's all I have to say about that, really. Listen, I need to go to the bathroom. I'm gonna run and take a. A tinkle. So I'll be back in just one flash. One jiggle of a.

[G]

No.

[C]

One jiggle of your wiggle.

[A]

What. What did you think I was gonna say?

[G]

Jiggle of your pickle?

[C]

Jiggle.

[A]

Jiggle your peewee. Personally, I let my. I let my underwear do the drying.

[G]

No, don't say that.

[A]

Just one drip.

[E]

Do you know.

[C]

Oh.

[F]

Do you know how to.

[A]

Do you know what to do to

[F]

empty it out now that we're older?

[A]

You push your. Your gooch, right?

[F]

Yeah, yeah. The bottom of the ball is there.

[A]

Yeah. You push the gooch, and it pinches it off.

[F]

Yeah. You straighten the pipe out.

[A]

I learned that from Howard. So much information, who learned that from his proctologist.

[E]

Sure. It's true.

[A]

So, anyway, I'll be right back, and I'll update you guys how the.

[G]

How the drying process hit that gooch, baby.

[C]

We don't need to know.

[A]

We don't need to know.

[F]

I'm down.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

If you want to talk about it

[A]

on the screen now.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[G]

What a time.

[D]

Call it bathroom break.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[F]

On commercial snack, there's usually snack. After that little snack that. Well, he usually goes to the bathroom, and then he. He grazes. Does like, a mini graze.

[G]

Oh, yeah. Grab something on the way.

[H]

Yeah.

[F]

Like, one thing usually comes back.

[A]

Chewing something.

[C]

The slowest walk of all time. Always.

[F]

I. I actually never noticed.

[A]

My.

[F]

My dad was the one that told me he watches all the episodes.

[C]

And then what's.

[F]

What's with Ethan just sitting there, slurping on a. On. On some drink every time, Slurping on it, eating snacks like he's not on the. On a show. Popping him in his mouth.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, I got a lot of same questions.

[C]

Same.

[G]

That's a tough audience, man.

[C]

He.

[F]

No, my dad. My dad backs it.

[G]

Oh, he loves it.

[F]

He thinks he's nuts for it. No, my dad thinks Ethan is like. My dad's like, can't believe he found a Jew crazier than you. He's nuts. Isn't he your boss? He's nuts.

[B]

So he likes that.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

He was also. He was like, when I. When he was like, work tomorrow. Not like two weeks ago. And I was like, no, we're off. And then like, last week, we're off.

[A]

And he's like, your.

[B]

Your.

[F]

Your employees must have hated you working for you. You would have never done something like

[A]

that, which is true.

[F]

When I had the power, I would have never. I would have never thought of such a thing.

[B]

Okay, good to know.

[F]

Vacation guys leave for three weeks. Dan, you stay, though.

[A]

Dad, you stay real quick.

[B]

Ab Wanted to show this. This is him scaring the. Out of his nieces, like in an obsession.

[G]

Look how young she is.

[C]

That's so mean.

[H]

She.

[A]

We.

[H]

They wanted to make, like, a little video. They always make these stupid videos with Lena, and Lena was out with her sister. So I was like, all right, if we're making one, we're doing it professional. And so we're making this. They would, like, make the script and we would shoot it, but at one part, they were in the car, and we had just watched Obsession that day, and that scene scared the. Out of my niece, the oldest one.

[C]

It scared.

[H]

I couldn't resist. The shot was so. Yeah, I couldn't resist. Resist.

[B]

It's pretty good.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

You're a menace, though. I like it.

[H]

Thank you.

[G]

Oh, my God.

[F]

You know, I. I. I scare everyone in my life around me all the time, every chance I get. And I got a new move. Really scary. You don't. You don't scream or anything. You just, like, try and turn your head as much upside down as you can. Like, open your mouth. Mouth and open your eyes really wide. And either try and be really tall or really short for when they turn around the corner.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

On their own pace. No, no, no. I don't want to waste it. I'm gonna use it on someone at the office.

[C]

Wait, did you guys hear about how Harley was used to always sniff his own?

[A]

What are you talking about?

[C]

Yeah, did you guys see that?

[G]

I saw a comment.

[C]

Dan, did you see that, Dan?

[B]

No, I don't know what you're talking about.

[C]

Harley, apparently for most of until he was like 18 or something, would go to the bathroom and wipe his ass and then after he wiped it would smell his. Smell the. Why and why do you know that?

[G]

Because he was talking about it.

[H]

It was on the subreddit. Yeah, I saw it first of all, and that's how I knew he belonged here.

[G]

I gotta find it.

[F]

Guys, let me tell you something. What sub Reddit was it Anyone? Ways snark. Don't go there. Secondly, I was acting. You don't share stories that sound belie.

[A]

What do you mean you're getting something

[C]

off your chest, bro.

[G]

I'm looking for Harley Poop. Oh, here it is. Harley tells us something really up. Let's save it for Ethan. He'll love this.

[A]

Hi, I'm back.

[B]

He just got back.

[G]

Okay, Ethan, I'm putting an emergency.

[C]

It is important.

[H]

I sent Reddit post. I sent it, Kate.

[D]

All right.

[F]

Okay, cool everyone, what do we got? Like the whole squad. Everyone's like, oh, I got it.

[A]

Send it over here.

[G]

You got the whole squad.

[H]

Hold on.

[A]

Harley tells us something really up. God, if it's.

[G]

Oh my God, Harley. Oh my God. I haven't seen this yet.

[A]

What did you do, bro?

[C]

I sent this to Harley just to be like, dude, you know Wendigoon and expos.

[B]

How old is this clip him?

[F]

And I was like, that story's fake. And she was like, I'm telling Pete.

[A]

All right, let me see on air.

[B]

And you noticed it, bro, I'll tell

[F]

you something really crazy. Smoking weed. And I don't even like sharing this story and I don't even want the PKA fan base know about this, but this is actually true. And you know what if I. You know what? I'm 36 years old, my. My ego is just non existent anymore. So I could share this story and I know someone else probably has it too and they'll never admit it it because I don't even want to share it right now on this podcast. Also, one of the first times I got high, I took a wiped my ass and instinctually the COVID toilet paper went up to my face and I stopped it. Like what am I doing? And I realized at that moment I always smelt my after the first wipe my entire life and never thought two ways around it like an animal. Seeing if I was okay, my ass be like, okay. And that's it. I'm 17 and I'm high now. I wipe my ass and I'm like,

[A]

what am I doing? That's so interesting. That's actually fascinating that.

[B]

Well, in your state of awareness, you missed the context. Ethan, he's claiming that this was a, this was a fib. This was not a real thing that happened. That he was telling us now that

[F]

now that he kind of has. Now that he's interested and he has my back a little bit.

[A]

Well, now it's real.

[G]

Now it's real.

[A]

Yeah. Why would you. That's like lying. Being like, yeah, I killed. I killed a prostitute. No big deal. It's like, why would you even lie about that? You're like, psych. I didn't. I just want people to think that I killed a prostitute. Like, what's the benefit of lying about that?

[B]

I don't know. I'm just, I'm just giving you all the context.

[A]

I find that actually podcast. I find it fascinating, frankly.

[B]

Of course, you also have like, weird wiping obsession. Like the mechanics of wiping and everything. It's a frequent topic of discussion.

[A]

Not, not that frequent. I'm a bidet now. I don't.

[B]

You know, somebody dropped the compilation on the subreddit.

[E]

I,

[F]

I wasn't always a chill guy. Back in the day. Yeah, back in the day. Brother and sister at the same time. Yeah, also that too. My brother and sister used to get mad at the Breck. Like breakfast when we were eating before going to school or whatever, they would, they would be like, shut the up. And I wasn't making noise. And they're always like, why are you always making that noise? I'm like, what are you talking about? I thought they were doing a bit. I didn't understand. And then around this time too, like 17, I smoked weed for the first time. And I was like, oh, I'm gonna have a cereal for dinner. And I had some cereal and I sat down and I started eating the cereal and I was literally putting in mouth and going, I was doing that loud. And then I was like, whoa, why am I making that noise? And then when I went to go, like, stop, because I know to make the noise when I did it, I realized all the urges were to do that and I did it my whole life. Like, I did that when I ate.

[A]

It sounds like the weed was an important, like awakening for you.

[G]

I I to self awareness at 17.

[A]

Yeah. Second grade, you became conscious for the first time at 17.

[F]

I had to go to special class in first and second grade with Ms. Monroe. She would come to the class and she'd be like, Harley Douglas and Newton, come with me. And we would go and like roll clay balls and learn how to hold a pencil properly.

[A]

Wait, did you have motor skill issues?

[G]

Yeah, it's like a motor skill thing.

[F]

Literally everything.

[A]

You know what that means? Hold on. You know what that means? That means the man is rolling clay. As a child I had motor skill issues too. You rolling clay?

[G]

Shout out. Were you rolling clay?

[A]

I did occupational therapy for that. Did you roll clay? I rolled clay. I caught balls. I did a bunch of other stuff.

[E]

Crazy.

[A]

You had like a Ms.

[F]

Mineral up here. First of all, Douglas is dead and Newton was like an abusive pimp in Niagara Fall. Balls, apparently.

[G]

Oh my God.

[F]

I, I nailed it. Was easily top of the class until the end of my, my education.

[A]

You got taken out.

[F]

I'm just saying. Ms. Monroe.

[G]

Shout out.

[F]

She helped. She helped. It did. It did. Because after that we got into stuff that I was, I was better at. You know, it was like I would sneeze on myself or something and not do anything. I would like sneeze.

[A]

Is this like a version of like dangerous minds with Ms. Monroe? You know, know. Yeah, the dangerous special eds kids. Anyway, let's, moving on. Thank you, Harley, for that. Appreciate that.

[F]

Obviously I don't, Obviously I don't wipe and sniff anymore. And I was a child when I did that.

[A]

Well, 17 is not necessarily a child, but.

[F]

Oh yeah, tell that to the judge. Get some fudge.

[A]

Did you stop?

[G]

You had enough fudge?

[A]

Okay, let me ask you this. You were 17. Was that, did you never do it again after that?

[E]

That.

[A]

Be honest. Be honest. Like what?

[F]

Sit down. Like I, I just want to.

[A]

He's stumbling on his words.

[C]

Yeah, you don't need to say.

[F]

I'm trying to. I'm trying to illustrate to you that I, I, I, I, I learned to consume the room.

[A]

Say consume. Don't use the word consume when you're

[G]

talking about in front of your face is here.

[A]

Hold on.

[G]

Stop, stop.

[A]

Think I can stop? Let's do a poll. Cuz a lot of times what happens in the bathroom. No, I'm not. I am curious because this is anonymous. You don't have to worry about anyone discovering you. I am curious because a lot of times what happens in the bathroom is not discussed. And I'm curious if there is a contingency of people who are sniffing their. So Dan's not at his computer. Love, can you do It. So do you smell your shit in the bathroom? Oh, my God.

[G]

I just got back, first episode with Harley.

[A]

Everyone's sitting.

[G]

I just want to point that out.

[F]

Sitting in the. The smell like you're. You're sitting in the smell like.

[C]

How do you not smell it? Because you're sitting in it. Did you ever accidentally touch it to your nose?

[F]

Oh, get it. Get on the tip of my nose

[G]

like the foam on a latte.

[C]

You know, if I did.

[F]

If I did, I didn't notice. And I walked up.

[A]

You had to. I feel like you had to dab it on your nose.

[C]

Such a disgusting sibling.

[G]

Oh, my God, I want to barf.

[A]

All right, so let's take. Let's just check. Because, you know, this. This reminds me of when the worst one. This reminds me of when I discovered that people wipe differently, you know? And it was like, there's two groups of wipers, and they have no idea that the other one exists. You got front wipers and back wipers. So I don't know if this is the same type of thing. Unclert. Get that out of here. Guys, stop with the uncle or something funny. So I don't know if this is the same type of thing where it's like you got shit sniffers and non shit sniffers. Now, I'm a proud non shit sniffer. I will say that proud and loud. But you can. You can. You can admit it here anonymously. And nobody's here to judge you.

[E]

Do you.

[A]

So the question is, do you regularly intentionally smell your boobs? Good poll. So it's 20. Yes. That's what I'm saying. 30. Yes. Look, I'm telling you, I knew that this was gonna. This is a thing. If Harley does it, there's other people that do it. We have a. There's. There's. Okay, 20 are saying they do it.

[D]

It.

[G]

They're just breaking news. H3 fans are poop snippers. Great.

[A]

No, I'm telling you, man.

[C]

What does that mean? You go out of your way to, like, lean into the toilet to smell it.

[A]

No, no, he picks. Actually use the toilet paper to the nose.

[C]

Get on your knees. That is so unnecessary.

[H]

I. I'm never unsanitary.

[B]

The correct way to do it is you just stick your head in the bowl.

[H]

I never even thought about it. But is it. I'm. Maybe it's like spelling your own farts, because I know that's common.

[F]

Well, you have no choice.

[H]

Usually

[G]

very intentional.

[H]

Yeah, I know, but I'm trying to,

[A]

like, find a link.

[G]

Humanize him. You're trying to humanize him.

[C]

Yeah, no, I get that's.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, that's one in five right there.

[F]

That's fake smell. Smell is super important to me.

[B]

I, I, me too, but I don't. Life.

[F]

I've cut people out of my life basically on smell. I'm gonna sit, I'm gonna, I'm gonna sit on in this seat with my, my balls inside this, this bowl with the, It's. I'm consumed by the, the door's closed. I'm hot boxing in it. But then testing out at 17 with my animal instinct lizard brain being like, am I sick?

[A]

No, I'm good.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

You were driving a car at this point, right? Driving.

[F]

I was like on autopilot. On autopilot.

[A]

Okay, let's move it right along here. Thank you for that. Listen, I think if you have a problem with. It's visual. I think visual is what you want to see is blood or black stool or different stool colors. The smell, I think is, is. I don't know how much we can glean from that Harley, but.

[F]

You ever parse anyone? Ever parse through it?

[A]

That's horrific. And I'm not even gonna, I'm not even gonna walk that path with you.

[G]

Just.

[F]

Yeah, I never. But I had a friend, he had a poop knife yet that. He got a knife from the doctor.

[E]

Doctor.

[G]

No, we're not doing poop knife on this, so we don't do it.

[F]

I don't need it.

[C]

Holy poop.

[A]

I feel like anything could be a poop knife.

[G]

I can't deal with poop.

[A]

It's not like that hard. You don't need like a specialized tool to cut, but it was, it was

[F]

like a plastic like spatula type thing.

[A]

Anyway, let's move on here. We got, we got. Oh, this is kind of funny. Snakeo's such a dumb, straight piece of. Look what a dumb rage, Beijing rage baiting loser this is. He goes, dear America, dear American Muslims, everyone knows 911 was Israel. Dude. This guy converted like two years ago and he's like, he thinks he's like the guy to talk to all American Muslims. Like, how arrogant of a loser can you be? She goes, dear American Muslims, everyone knows 911 was Israel. Drop the Anne Frank act. Praying in the ad. I don't know what that even means other than just oh my God. But then it, what he, what he posted on top. He forgot to remove his note to chat. GPT says optimize it for X and give more shock factor.

[C]

Wait, is that. Really?

[A]

Yes. He left it up like this and then erased it in shame.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

How cringe can you be, dude?

[F]

Very cringe. Loser.

[A]

What if he's like, chatgpt make it.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I want to take. I want to talk to all American Muslims and tell them Israel did 9 11. And also to do something really offensive with Anne Frank. It's like, dude, you can't even do your, like, hateful, racist rage baiting yourself. You got a robot to do that for you.

[E]

What if the AIs. This is the optimal tweet. This right here is the optimal for engagement. Here we are talking about it.

[A]

He erased it.

[E]

That would be interesting, though.

[A]

He's a coward.

[F]

He's a coward and he's not smart enough. He should have kept it up.

[C]

Up.

[F]

You're locked in like that?

[A]

That's it. I just thought it was funny and pathetic. How about this? E40. E40, everybody got choices did a live performance at, you guessed it, SeaWorld. He performed choices at SeaWorld. Two families and children. Ever snitch on a brother?

[C]

Nope.

[D]

Nope.

[A]

You ever tell her that you love her? That's a no.

[C]

No.

[A]

You snitching?

[E]

Yep.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Bitching.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Why would he not tell her that he loves her?

[A]

Because he's a player, bro, just like Gabe. Oh, come on, playa. You tell your. Do you. Would you tell your Filipino bride that you love her or not yet?

[D]

At some point, you know, once you get to know each other and we're more comfortable, then I'll say, yeah, I love her.

[A]

Does she tell you that?

[D]

That she didn't tell me yet?

[H]

Not yet.

[A]

I wonder if she wants to, but she's just being shy.

[D]

I think that's the thing about the Filipino culture. They don't want to express that they're, you know, they don't want to, like, give you a bad feeling. They just want to keep it to themselves. And if they really like you, they'll. It's. Eventually it's going to come out. Yep.

[A]

You're just more patient.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Are you patient?

[D]

Yep. Yep. I'm patient right now.

[A]

You tell her that you love her.

[D]

Yep. I'll tell once I. It's the right time and she gets to know me and I get to know her, then I'll say, I love you.

[A]

This is Gabe's version of choices here. Love that. Love that. So here's efote@seaworld. Yo. Do you torture dolphins?

[C]

Yep.

[E]

Yep.

[A]

Do you keep killer whales and highly intelligent apex predators in captivity?

[C]

Yep.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Do you try to put white sharks in captivity and they always die within a month?

[D]

Month?

[A]

Yep. Everybody got choices. I choose to torture animals. I sit on their grave.

[E]

Yep.

[C]

Does the orca ever kill you back?

[A]

Does the orca ever eat you?

[C]

Yep.

[A]

And then do you blame the orca?

[C]

Yep.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

There's a crazy version of choices. Why The Is he 40 at SeaWorld?

[B]

Why not?

[C]

Ow.

[B]

Yeah, it looks like good time.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

I wish we could have gone with this,

[C]

Honestly. Why weren't we there? Yo,

[E]

yo.

[A]

This party is lit right now.

[C]

This is SeaWorld.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Holy SeaWorld.

[A]

More like see some ass and titties with world. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

This.

[A]

We're throwing. We're throwing a party over here, y'.

[G]

All.

[C]

Yeah,

[A]

go right now.

[E]

Wow.

[C]

I want to be.

[A]

Did we check this? Did we copyright check this? I don't see a cleared. I'm assuming you did, but no, this was not checked. Did we ever check it?

[D]

It?

[C]

Nope.

[E]

Nope.

[A]

Should we have checked it?

[C]

Yep.

[G]

Sorry.

[A]

Am I listening to copyrighted music on live? Yep. Should I be worried?

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Yep. Oh, man. Well, I guess I'll just mute it. You ever told on a N word? You ever do time? You ever do this and that? Everybody got choices. There's just choose to get butter. I'm stuck to this bread. Go ahead.

[H]

I was gonna say, there's one dude there who's not happy about this.

[C]

Really?

[H]

If you just go back, like, 10 seconds, there's one dude just, like, pissed off. He just wanted to see the well.

[C]

How can you not have fun?

[A]

Well, listen, if I'm there with my kids and there's people, like, screaming all kinds of crazy, asking, like, gangster raps, I'd be a little confused.

[C]

At least I don't even see any kids.

[A]

Yeah, it's true.

[F]

How did this happen?

[D]

I know.

[C]

How did this happen?

[A]

We thought we got Shamu and E40 showed up. Up. What if Sham. What if eody just loves SeaWorld? That's, like, his favorite.

[C]

How did this idea come to be

[H]

like, dude, if he came out of the water, that'd be sick.

[F]

Yo, what's his rate for that?

[H]

If he came out on a whale, that'd be sick.

[A]

Honestly, it's probably not that bad. I wonder if I could get Eody out here for a private show.

[F]

40k.

[A]

I honestly se world can't.

[G]

You can for sure. I think that that's.

[A]

Well, SeaWorld has more money than me, don't you know? I mean, tone it down a little bit.

[F]

Can't catch Ethan. Can't get Shamu here.

[A]

I can get E Foti.

[F]

Yep.

[A]

Look at him, dude. Triumphant E Foties triumphant return to SeaWorld.

[F]

They sell tickets to this?

[G]

Yeah, they have a whole concert series, apparently.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Why?

[A]

What in God's name?

[C]

And how do the animals handle the music?

[A]

Music, like, probably.

[E]

Oh, they don't give a. I was

[G]

gonna say they're not really worried about the animal.

[H]

Okay.

[A]

Yo, look at this guy, though.

[C]

That's the best.

[A]

Oh, dude.

[H]

E40 charges 100,000 to 200,000 for live events. Available upon request.

[A]

100 to 200? You mean 100. You know what I mean. If you give me a choice between 100 and 200, I'm not paying 200.

[E]

Right.

[A]

I tell you, I'll get them for 60, maybe 50. Yeah, exactly. I choose to get money. I'm stuck to this bread. Everybody got choices.

[E]

Yep.

[A]

These n words are choosing. I'm all in they head. I love that song. Anyway, moving on. Oh, this is a fun segment we've been planning. We, of course, over break, we celebrated July 4th, our wonderful country's birthday, and 250 years. 230. Wow, that's cool. Did anybody.

[B]

Did anybody? I feel like Trump completely ruined it.

[A]

I didn't know fireworks for the first year.

[B]

I didn't know it was like, you know, because he. He made it his own so much that it, like, made it weird, you know, to. To celebrate.

[A]

Well, I feel like in la, doing fireworks is just kind of not it anymore.

[C]

Well, with all the fires, you don't really want to risk it.

[A]

After half the city burned down in an inferno.

[B]

Yeah, I did notice less fireworks. There was still a lot in my neighborhood, but it was a step down from previous years, which is kind of nice.

[A]

But we'll be back.

[H]

I remember I was shocked when I first moved out here that you couldn't get fireworks anywhere, because in Michigan, you get them at Target. Walmart gas station has them.

[A]

That's crazy.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You have to drive out to, like, the boonies somewhere.

[D]

Any. Any place, like, out of California. It seems more colorful. You know, it's more American expression. California, it's everything, you know, it's. You're kind of like, you can't. It doesn't have that. You don't feel like it. That real American spirit. Like, you go to other states, like, even Las Vegas.

[A]

You know what?

[D]

Washington, New York.

[A]

You're so right.

[C]

We know.

[A]

When we were at Cracker Barrel. Barrel, I was like, dude, should I say Cracker Barrel?

[H]

I'm Just saying. Cracker Barrel in Orlando, Florida is definitely more.

[A]

Got my guy with the real experience, bro.

[C]

It was so fun.

[A]

So I went there and on the sugar packet, they had an American flag. And I'm like, this is what patriotism is, bro. Like, why is it illegal for me to be a hat. To be a proud American? And in California it's like you have to be ashamed of America. You don't fit in. I want American flags on my sugar pack.

[F]

No, I was in Florida. I was living there. Pinellas park, shout out, pervert park. And there was a lot of American flags. When I would just walk to the gym or walk to Duncan, tons of American flags. And I was always like, yeah, bless,

[A]

you know what I mean? We did that. Whatever it is. Is that what you meant?

[D]

Yeah, something like that. It's, it's more American. Especially you go to stores, you go to. It's. It's more like variety, right? Products and.

[A]

Are you talking about like, variety of products? You, you see more outside California? Yeah, yeah.

[H]

Everything is sold out here. It's just there, there's just too many people.

[E]

It's communism, bro. It's just one product right here in la.

[C]

No, no, we need more.

[A]

So we have a compilation of some of the most insane fireworks we saw. And some of them really cracked me up. Up. So let's give a homage to our fine patriots here in America for blowing up and celebrating 250 years of greatness here, starting with Ruby, whatever the that is. David is here with what's happening. David.

[H]

He's passing out.

[A]

You want me to rate the fireworks?

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay. Rate the fireworks.

[A]

Okay. Was this.

[B]

I pulled up a score.

[D]

Oh, one to five.

[A]

All right. So, Gabe, here you go. Everybody's getting. All right, let's do it. So here it is. Here's number one. Put it in the tube like you do. 10 being great, of course, they're running good distance. Oh, my goodness.

[D]

God.

[G]

Whoa.

[A]

Oh, no. Is it going to fall back to Earth? Where is it?

[D]

Cylinder?

[A]

Dude, I'd be so scared right now. Dude, that is so. That is so funny, bro. This, this is the type of videos I live for.

[C]

God.

[A]

That, my friends, is a 10.

[D]

I'll give it a 10 right there.

[B]

I'm going to to give that a nine.

[A]

That's a 10.

[D]

It's a surprise. Boom.

[E]

That is so.

[G]

I love when you can hear the car alarms going off.

[A]

I'm going to watch that again.

[B]

Solid nine.

[A]

That's so funny, bro.

[G]

Going to say. Let's see.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Ethan. Oh, sorry.

[A]

Go ahead. It's. Go ahead, Gabo. What you got for me?

[D]

We're watching fireworks at my brother's neighborhood. And then like a couple blocks down, I saw. I saw like. I saw the tree got on fire. One of our neighbors. Tree got on fire.

[A]

That's what we call. That's called a. A patriotic sparkler.

[D]

Yes. Like when the. When the. When the. When they blow up, all the, like the particles of the fireworks go into the leaves and it just catch fire.

[A]

Yeah, that's called patriotism, bro.

[D]

There you go.

[A]

It's called magic.

[D]

I trust that it sounds funny, but if your property got damaged, you know you have to.

[A]

The price you pay for freedom, my

[D]

friend, all the work.

[B]

Freedom isn't free.

[A]

No, it sure isn't. I gotta watch this again. It was so good.

[D]

I'll see that one.

[A]

It seems like, like really good. Like it goes way up there and

[G]

then you lose sight of it.

[A]

Oh, that's. That's so funny.

[E]

That's so fun.

[F]

Scary.

[A]

Yeah. That be

[G]

the cars.

[A]

Oh, just chaos, that. And that's what America's all about right there. In a nutshell. Drop the bomb. I'm moving on. That was fantastic. Happy 4th of July to everybody. Here's another one. Okay. This is one I found. And this had me me cracking the up. And obviously, like, people look at this and they get like, horrified. That's the wrong way to look at it. I found it so funny. This is the craziest, most hilarious firework malfunction ever. I just know everybody's fine. That's important to say there was no fatalities or property damage.

[G]

Oh, yeah, this one's great.

[C]

Crazy.

[A]

So it's already super annoying. Then it launches. Oh, and then this is completely down. Look at this. Beelines for his neighbor's house and explodes on it. How the. Oh, and then you get it from another angle. How do you get it to beeline down to Earth?

[G]

Literally? Missile.

[H]

Yeah, like a missile.

[C]

It looks like war, dude.

[A]

It's so funny. Like, what do you even say, bro?

[B]

I'm giving that.

[G]

Why are these on sale in America?

[A]

Now? Was that. Is it designed to like strike the earth or was that like a malfunction? Obviously, that's a 10.

[B]

I don't. I don't think it's designed to do

[A]

that, but you got to.

[B]

I don't know for sure, but. But it seems foolish to have it.

[H]

Yeah, it seemed like it was malfunctioning from the get go. Like, I think it was supposed to be going higher up when it was making that whistling Sound.

[A]

But I think it. No, imagine it was made to be the most obnoxious firework. So it whistles super loud for 20 seconds. It's already annoying. And then it launches up and then straight down at your neighbor's house. Yeah, it's. I mean, it's brilliant if it's engineered to do that.

[D]

I didn't see the house blow up, so.

[A]

No, but close.

[D]

Closed.

[A]

Oh, no.

[G]

There's a crater in the yard.

[A]

C is a dead link.

[F]

Oh, no.

[A]

Too hot for television. Oh, no. Oh, What?

[C]

Maybe they took it down.

[G]

Damn. Maybe someone got injured in that.

[A]

So maybe it's for the best for us, because YouTube knows that. Oh, this is like the new meta, which I have to say I kind of with, because fireworks. I feel like we're all been around so long, fireworks don't really do much for us anymore. But what you got to do is you got to throw the whole thing box in. And of course, this takes place in a Russian cornfield, which is the appropriate.

[B]

Oh, I see. Literally just throw the entire.

[G]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

Yeah, I've seen a bunch like. Oh, step away. My God.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[A]

This dude is, like, so blase, just standing there

[G]

and his George.

[A]

Wait, this is Russia. Why are you guys doing Fourth of July?

[B]

It's just fireworks.

[A]

But no, he's so American. He's drinking a beer. He's in George.

[B]

Well, I don't know. Maybe he's just memeing.

[G]

It's a banger.

[F]

Good video.

[A]

This is like a.

[G]

Just goes forever.

[F]

You gotta rapid.

[B]

Dude. It's.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Straight at him.

[A]

They almost. Oh, my God. Okay, his homies are hiding. Okay, now he's. He's getting a little bit ahead.

[B]

Dude.

[D]

Dude.

[A]

I think that's very funny, though. And I like.

[B]

Yeah, no, that's good. That's good.

[A]

But ultimately, I'm gonna give it probably like a seven. Oh, harsh.

[B]

I gave it an eight.

[G]

Yeah. I say an eight for length.

[A]

Too little.

[B]

I was thinking seven until that one smacked him in the back of the head. That bumped it up.

[F]

I got a theory. I think he's covered in Vaseline.

[B]

Oh, he's taking flag precautions for the heat.

[F]

For the heat.

[A]

Is this really in Russia? I feel like this has to be in America.

[B]

It's just the cap.

[F]

Just the writing.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, it's a.

[B]

Wait at the end, you see the back of the car. You could probably tell from the plate.

[A]

True. Let's take.

[G]

I'm sure it'll be nicely lit up, so.

[A]

Oh, that doesn't look American. It looks like long.

[B]

Yeah, that's a Euro.

[A]

Yeah, that's a Euro. Play, my boy here. Well, at least they're doing 4th of July. The 4th of July. The right way.

[D]

Way.

[B]

At least that. Is this the right way?

[A]

Yeah, it's the right way.

[D]

All right.

[A]

It's the only way.

[D]

Wild.

[A]

And then we're on E. Because she betrayed us. So.

[G]

Damn.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

And finally we have here.

[G]

I deleted C, so you still have three left, just so you know.

[A]

Oh, wait, where am I? Wait, what?

[G]

Yes, C. C does work now.

[A]

Oh, so let me go. Okay, well, let me do this.

[G]

I'm him up.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Thank you.

[G]

Oh.

[H]

Oh.

[G]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

Is that a gas station?

[A]

That's it. Oh, no. That is so funny, dude. Now that's a. Yeah, that's a gas station. Oh, God.

[C]

I thought that was Dan yelling.

[G]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[F]

So did I.

[A]

Oh, it sounds like Dan.

[D]

Okay. Give that a 10.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

The fact.

[A]

The fact that it's on a gas station, honestly, is so fun.

[D]

Absolutely.

[G]

That's a fact.

[A]

It's the. The risk factor is so funny. You know, if the gas station blew up, that would have been like.

[B]

That would have been a lot. Yeah, that's on another level.

[F]

That's the tricky part, that. That. That's the whole baseline.

[D]

That's.

[F]

These are all nines.

[A]

That's why they're here.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[C]

You know, I'm learning that Americans are so hard core.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Dude, thank you for saying that.

[B]

Thanks.

[C]

Like, I don't think anybody in Israel would even think to do this.

[A]

Well, they.

[G]

Well, it's a very different situation.

[A]

I mean, listen, there. There is a holiday called Lug Bomber where you just burn trash everywhere. That's pretty gnarly.

[C]

Yeah, but you just. It's kind of like making campfires.

[A]

Yeah, but it's disgusting. You literally burn trash.

[F]

You go to do fireworks in Israel in the Iron Dom film is just blasting them out of the sky before they.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[G]

Very different videos happening, for sure.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Well, every. Oh, you know, your mom told me, and I think that's right. Is that every. Like, so many people in that country have ptsd.

[C]

Yeah. She said they don't do fireworks.

[A]

They don't do fireworks anymore. Which is kind of not that funny, but.

[C]

Because it sounds like war.

[G]

Sure. Yeah.

[A]

But also, it's interesting. Not funny, but interesting factory.

[C]

But you guys hear like. Like. I mean, those. Those videos are nuts.

[F]

People blow their hands off.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, I can imagine.

[F]

I thought these fingers.

[B]

This is actually more Tame than I was expecting.

[A]

M1000, which. Where am I?

[G]

If you just did D, then you should be able to do C and

[A]

E. So C I is the Russian dudes, isn't it?

[G]

Is it? Let me look.

[H]

Who.

[A]

Yeah, so let me do D. Oh, okay. Let's have a look here at D. Yeah, Here we go. This is new. Another guy is way too close to the fireworks. What the. Is that a mortar? Are they opening fire on Canada? Across, like, the lake? Holy.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[F]

That's crazy.

[H]

That's funny you say that, because I was thinking that's Michigan again for sure.

[E]

So it could be

[A]

perfect. Cut. What's going on? That was super short. Listen, YouTube. Nobody was hurt. Nobody was hurt in any of these

[G]

sand.

[A]

Yeah, it's real.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

What do you mean?

[F]

No, no added effect at the end. Nothing to sweeten it. It looks like the ground blew up,

[A]

so don't ruin it.

[D]

The.

[H]

The comments are saying he loaded it upside down.

[B]

So it just launched into the ground.

[H]

Yeah.

[F]

Can I see it again with that perspective?

[E]

Sure.

[A]

Absolutely. You can.

[F]

Thanks. Dude, that's so sick.

[G]

I think that's a 10 too, in my opinion.

[F]

It might be. That's why I want to see this. Might be.

[G]

Okay, let's see. Look at this.

[A]

But the first one didn't go in the air. Eh, no.

[F]

Oh, it's inside the tube.

[H]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

Too comfortable.

[F]

That's a 10. That one's good. Yeah, that's a up. That's the new method. I'm upside down.

[A]

From now on, whatever is more dangerous. My most dangerous is where I'm looking to be right now on fourth of July.

[C]

Somebody in chat said we're. We are way too reckless for not having free health care.

[H]

True.

[A]

No, no, no. That's part of what's exciting about it. You guys. You guys are totally missing it.

[C]

All on the line.

[A]

Gives it a little kick. Like, where's the excitement? If you can just go get stitched up at the hospital. You know all that.

[H]

The first time Lena invited her friends over, like a get together I was having was on the 4th of July 1 year, and we were like lighting fireworks, and her friend asked to do one, and she was just holding it. I'm like, you gotta throw, throw, throw. And she was screaming as it was going off, and she burnt the shit

[D]

out of her hand.

[C]

Oh, no.

[H]

And that was my introduction too.

[B]

I have a video here from Nate that he shared. This is how they do it in Mexico, he said. You took this video, Nate?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my goodness.

[G]

Hell yeah.

[A]

Oh, My God. Oh, yeah. I'm here. Running away. What the.

[B]

What?

[A]

They're running after me. Y.

[C]

That.

[H]

That looked like Lena's friend. Then night.

[A]

How we celebrate. How we celebrate. So that's what that is, eh? Also, in spirit of the July 4th holiday and American freedoms and ingenuity, I bring to you a parachuter to celebrate a Graham game. And you know, we've seen other people parachuting in with giant flags attached to them and I feel like in general this doesn't work out.

[D]

Out.

[A]

Has it ever worked? From what I've seen? No. No. But maybe it will this time.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Perfect timing with this now what's funny? So. So you might think the guy got hurt, but what's funny is in. In a very cartoon esque fashion, the awning breaks his phone 100%.

[B]

I was thinking the same thing.

[A]

It's literally like. Like he's totally fine. It's awesome.

[G]

Yep.

[A]

I've fallen that great with.

[G]

Proud to be an American.

[A]

Just proud to be an American.

[B]

And I love somebody gives like a guttural scream of excitement right before it happens. It's so funny. Yeah, you hear that?

[A]

It's just such an epic face plant and it's so fast.

[G]

Oh my God.

[D]

That's so.

[A]

I mean. Yeah, don't let that. Don't take any meaning. Extrapolate any meaning or extended metaphor from that.

[G]

Nope.

[B]

We won an NBA champion. Yeah. It's like that level of excitement.

[A]

Oh, that was in NorCal. Shout out. NorCal rodeo.

[B]

Shout out to NorCal.

[A]

Yeah, and he's totally fine, Completely uninjured from the awning breaking his fall. And it looked like he came in hot.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You know, so shout. Apparently that does work. I was like a Jackie Chan stun and shout out to another great country in this world. They are currently waging war on Ukraine, the Russians, of course. And they have a well, well trained, highly competent military. And as you can see, the training is going very well for them. No, that's real. And it comes straight from Russian soldier training at MG training camp. Yes, that's real. And that happened.

[B]

Why is it like motor? Like, why is it.

[A]

That's how much torque it had.

[C]

Yeah, they.

[G]

They mounted it on top of something.

[A]

I feel like. Yeah, I don't think that was a you. I feel like that was a mounting error, not a user error because there's no way it's supposed to spin that hard.

[G]

Yeah, that's an after sale. That's an after sale kind of thing that they did, I think.

[A]

Yo, that guy's head almost got blown the off. Holy. Dude.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

So, yes, the Russians are doing very well.

[B]

And that's it. The maintenance on the ball bearings in that tube, really? Yeah.

[E]

It's spectacular.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I've never seen something spin that long with a little missing.

[B]

Really nice.

[A]

So on one hand, technically impressive, and on the other hand, if only their training was a little better. But unfortunately, I mean, for. I mean, fortunately.

[B]

Yeah, I think you have that backwards.

[A]

I'm saying. What I'm saying is. Listen. The Russians are sending their people into a meat grinder. The amount of people dying there is unfathomable. What is it like, almost a million Russian soldiers died now. That's crazy. And they're just sending people out there to die. Their life expectancy out in the field is a. Like, it's like 20 minutes.

[B]

I. I have heard that statistic.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

They just.

[C]

That's.

[B]

That's the average.

[A]

They send him out there just into a meat grinder. And the Ukrainians got so good at drone warfare. They just. They blow them out just like the second that they're out there. And it's sad that all these people are dying for this one psychopath's psychotic vision.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

And I heard. I heard a couple months ago the. The front line was moving slower than the trench war in World War I,

[A]

which is notoriously the slowest war ever. Yeah. It's not going anywhere. And the Ukrainians, I feel like, are turning the tide because you're getting so fucking good at Russian soldiers surviving. Average of 20 minutes when they take the front line due to drone attacks.

[E]

It's awful.

[A]

It's crazy. It is. Yeah. It's really sad. Hard to believe it's just a bunch of young, young dudes who are just being sent to the meat grinder.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

That's just like always. That's horrible.

[C]

Right? It's always like young kids in war.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Young kids who can't pay to get out of it. Right.

[E]

Basically.

[A]

But luckily, if you would just listen to Hassan, he says Ukraine, if only they would come to the table and negotiate, they could end this war. He said that a few days ago. He forgot that they're actually not the aggressors. Answers. I hate all of you.

[G]

Give peace a chance, you know?

[A]

Exactly. But hey, war is not that funny, so let's move right along. Actually, instead, something else that is very fun and enjoyable, which is, you guessed it, Chinese girlfriends. New fire track just dropped. Everybody is raging about it.

[B]

Wait, from the girlfriends? Oh, no, from him.

[A]

Not from POV girlfriends. We're waiting for that one. Chinese boyfriend.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Or how about like American stalker, American fetishizer.

[E]

Yeah, right.

[A]

Chinese girlfriend. Chinese girlfriend. Did you check this one? This one I did check. Okay, cool. Chinese girlfriend, Chinese girlfriend.

[D]

Chinese girlfriend.

[A]

Chinese girlfriend. Chinese girlfriend. Chinese girlfriend.

[F]

Let's go.

[A]

Got it. What do you say?

[B]

What?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

What was the first?

[E]

He said, got it.

[C]

Got it.

[B]

Oh, got it.

[A]

Oh, got it.

[C]

Girlfriend.

[A]

So I really. I really. I'm trying to get him to call in because I want to find out, does he have one? Does he want one?

[C]

Right.

[A]

Did he have one he's still in love with?

[B]

So many questions.

[C]

I would guess that he has one and he's so happy with her that he's like singing.

[A]

That would be the best. Would he settle for like a Japanese girlfriend or someone close to China, but not exactly China?

[B]

Ethan, he's very specific.

[A]

No, yeah, you're right. He. Yeah, he. You're right. He's made it very clear.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

This guy on the other hand.

[F]

What about new H3 bachelor? All Chinese girl.

[A]

This is a call to all Chinese women in our audience.

[B]

You want to date this weirdo on TikTok?

[A]

Listen, he's gonna worship you. He's gonna treat you better than any man ever. And actually, in the spirit of romantic stories, we also have a really interesting story about a man who cut his penis off and set it off. Set it on fire. Now ladies, get yourself a man that will show his dedication to you. Like that. Until. Until now, the best that we had was Van Gogh, who cut his finger, his ear off in dedication to his love. Love. But now, guys, we've seen what love really can go the depths of love. And that is cutting your own penis off and setting on fire in your garage.

[B]

She did it for. For a woman.

[A]

I don't know, Vincent. We're actually trying to get him to call in too.

[E]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

So why'd you do it?

[G]

So far.

[A]

So why'd you do it?

[G]

Yeah,

[A]

he said to himself, why does it keep doing that? What is this? Is this a relevant video or should I just read it? Because.

[G]

Yeah, just read it. That's. Yeah, it's just all the stupid ad stuff.

[A]

Oh, this is totally unrelated. Nice one.

[G]

Oh, God.

[A]

A man from Indiana was charged with a felony. What? You can't cut your own dick off and set it on fire? The wrong with that? There is a felon with the fire part.

[B]

Yeah, probably that.

[A]

He was accused kindling. Well, he. Yeah, he burns down his parents attached garage or something. He used his penis as kindling.

[E]

Is this the Free country you're talking about.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Doesn't seem very free, bro.

[A]

Well, if he did it in a field, nobody would be complaining.

[E]

Thought it was fully free.

[G]

It's true.

[A]

Let's see. According he. So he was accused of cutting off his genitals and using them to start a fire. I didn't know they're flammable like that. On May 6, man was charged with arson after police say he cut off his penis, doused it with gasoline. I guess if you douse it, lit it on fire there in a garage of his mother's house in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

[B]

Oh, shout out. Fort Wayne.

[A]

I feel like any city that starts with Fort is deranged. Like in general. You put that at the beginning and you guarantee people are cutting off their penises and light them on fire or something. Some shit's going down there.

[B]

From everything I've heard about Never Fort. Sorry, go ahead.

[F]

And everything I said for Christie would never.

[A]

Yes, they would. I don't even think about Fort Christy, but I know they up to.

[B]

For everything I do know about Fort Wayne, which is a decent amount because I know somebody from there. This. This tracks. This totally makes sense. Yeah.

[A]

It's probably not even the weirdest thing that happened this year.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

According to court documents obtained by USA Today, they had a whole team on this. While attending. While attending to the fire, the suspect's family told first responders he was missing. Meanwhile, officers were attending to the suspect who had been said he had been stabbed in downtown Fort Wayne. According to the affidavit. It wasn't until later, after the suspect had been taken to the hospital, they admitted to the police that he inflicted the wound on himself and started the fire. So he's cruising around downtown. So he cuts his dick off, runs downtown, and then he's like, ah, I got stabbed. You got stabbed or your penis got cut off? Cause I feel like that's different. Those are really different things.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yo, I got. My penis was cut off by somebody like one. What?

[B]

Yeah, Stab is a. That's piercing damage. He was clearly. This is slashing damage.

[A]

Slashing damage.

[B]

A whole different category.

[A]

Oh, God. Dan, did you hear about. You heard about Everquest Legends, right? Yeah, we were talking about the other day. You going to do it? It sounds really cool.

[B]

You going to do it?

[A]

I think so. But anyway, we're all right.

[C]

Let's do it.

[A]

My buddy's going to do it too. I played Everquest Classic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

World of Warcraft, dude. It sounds so cool. I don't want to talk about it. Now because it's way too of a tangent, but. But yes, I'll join you guys.

[E]

Cuz I never got to play.

[A]

Okay, it sounds really cool.

[E]

I want to try it.

[A]

They letting you. They. You can put three classes.

[B]

You just said you didn't want.

[A]

I know, I know, I know. You could do three classes in one.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Oh, you. So you know about it.

[B]

Okay, we had a whole conversation about

[A]

it about 48 hours ago. Google it. I'll do it for a paycheck.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I'm not paying you. That'd be nice. Is it cuz you're 40 now you

[C]

think

[A]

that I'm not paying. Okay, stop. Don't bait me. So yeah, he. Let's see here. Christopher Peden, 36, was arrested and charged with arson in this case. Peden told police use a kitchen. A kitchen knife. Like I really want to see the blade. Are we talking like butter knife? Are we talking like kitchen knife has a whole range of sharpness.

[E]

Well, he clearly went for the sharpest one.

[A]

You know, something big like I just want to ski. Because some kitchen knives are sharp, some are very dull.

[B]

That's so scary.

[E]

Right?

[A]

But I feel like if you're gonna cut your penis off, you're dedicated no matter what. If you set your mind to it, you're getting it done. That's not a halfway job. Yeah, like that.

[C]

I'm scared.

[A]

While he was in the garage. Let's see here. Yeah, he did it with a kitchen knife. Police said they collected the remains of a red gasoline container and four lighters. Four lighters. And documented a kitchen knife that was found near the scene of the fire. Petten was held on a $10,000 bond. So he's out now and we are trying desperately to get a hold of him.

[E]

Him? Well, I mean it's fine to let him lose cuz he can't do it again.

[A]

Well, he. Well, he's right.

[E]

Well, he already cut it off.

[B]

Yeah, it's gone.

[A]

He might. He might be able to cut off other parts of his body and set him on fire.

[E]

I don't think that's what ball he's interested in. Oh yeah, the balls.

[A]

They are in danger.

[H]

Wait, did it. Did they recover the. The penis?

[A]

I think it was burned.

[H]

Oh, it was burned.

[A]

Right, right, right, right.

[D]

Hot dog.

[A]

It's charred.

[B]

Right?

[A]

This reminds me of the story. I think I've mentioned it once or twice, but there's a story in Germany where a guy found someone on cr. Like their Craigslist to. He wanted someone to cut his Penis off and then cook it and they would eat it together. And that did happen. He found someone. They did that in Germany. So shout out to the very bazaar out there.

[B]

Shout out.

[A]

Truly a victimless crime. Yeah, yeah, sure. Wonder if that guy smells his.

[G]

He's in the 18.

[A]

He smelled his cook, bro.

[F]

It's. But if. If he did it as a kid. Who cares if he did it as a kid?

[G]

Yeah, 17 is definitely still a kid.

[A]

You would. Let me guess. You stopped it on the eve before your 18th birthday. You jail baited your.

[F]

I just figured it out at 17. If I figured it out at 15, I would have stopped then.

[A]

Okay, fair enough. We believe you, Ethan. Thank you very much. Speaking of poop someone their pants at the Noah Kahan concert. Who's that?

[G]

He's like a folk. Folky singer songwriter. No, he's great.

[A]

Let me see what he looks like.

[F]

Zach.

[A]

Yeah, he is.

[B]

Yeah. I don't think it's. Yeehaw. It's more like. It's more like like sad indie guy. Right.

[G]

Stomp clap, stomp clap kind of music.

[A]

It is very good.

[F]

It is very good. It's not my style.

[A]

Stomping clamp the. Is that Clap stomp stomp and clap. Hey will, we will rock you. No, it's like hey ho music.

[B]

Yeah. Hey.

[F]

He was the. He was the musical guest when I went to Saturday Night Live taping this year.

[G]

Flex.

[A]

Yeah. Was it good?

[F]

He had cornrows.

[A]

It's a little wild. It's a little strange. When you finish it on the ground and sit the stage, you be okay.

[B]

Sorry, it's not that kind of music.

[A]

Yes it was. Thank you for knowing that, dude. So we have a video of actually even of it. So somebody just. Somebody just like put their panties to the side and on the dance floor. Which is kind of a hardcore vibe if I'm being totally honest. Yeah.

[G]

You got a music.

[A]

It's very. I feel like that Shambhala coated, right?

[F]

It would be weird if you did that.

[A]

There really even there is not appropriate. Pulling panties to the side, girl. And on the dance floor. I'm excited to announce something in the works. So I think we can just say it. Let's tease it. AB will be attending Shambhala with Harley and documenting it. It's so exciting. So exciting. This is. And this is going to be like a whole voyage. Bizarre. An odyssey, if you would. Yeah.

[F]

Like in the middle of the night I'm always like are you good, dad?

[C]

If you're not good.

[H]

Yeah. Harley keeps texting me like you sure? You sure? Don't. Don't be nice about it. I'm like, no, no, let's. Let's do it.

[A]

But I was like, what is.

[F]

I texted Ethan. I was like, is AB Gonna be cool? He's telling me he's cool, but I don't know. I'm worried.

[A]

I was like, yeah, dude, AB he's totally down for it, but what's going on in Shamballa that you think it's like, that insane? I thought it's just a music festival,

[F]

but you're trapped there. You're going to be trapped there and it's like everyone looks like a. A clown from Spencer Gifts, like, with what they're wearing.

[A]

Yeah, but you're just describing every cruise.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, but what if. Yeah, what if everyone on the cruise is on, like, no alcohol, by the way?

[A]

They're like, no alcohol is lame, bro. We only. Do. We only shoot acid in our testicles.

[F]

Is. It's. Yeah, actually it's illegal. There's no alcohol there. They search the cars for alcohol.

[H]

I haven't told Harley this, but I get like, super anxious at, like, concerts and stuff. This is going to be.

[A]

I'm hoping to get over here.

[H]

Yeah, I'm hoping to get.

[F]

I expect him to cry. He might not tell me. Maybe he'll tell Lena, but I think he will at one point cry. Might be in the bathroom alone or something, but I just think that'll happen. It's weird to whip together when you haven't mentally prepared for it, you know?

[H]

This is the longest I'll be away from Lens Molina since we met as well.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

So this is. This is very interesting. I'm glad we're documenting this. And Harley, what kind of drugs do you bring for your journey?

[F]

I made the mistake in the past of doing that.

[A]

What does that mean?

[F]

It's just silly because you could just go there and there's like, they'll pass around menus.

[A]

You can buy drugs there.

[F]

Yeah, you could just buy it. Or you. You could find something on the ground and you can go to like, like the desk there and be like, whoa, I found this. And they'll. They'll scan it like, that's cocaine. Do you want a glass straw or. Or.

[A]

Oh, so there. It's really about. They're all about doing drugs there.

[F]

No, I think it's music first. There are people that definitely come and do drugs. That is the point. But there's also people that run sober camps there. Like 100 sober. And you actually, I. You tell. Tell people this all the time. You could definitely have an incredible time there sober. If you like camping.

[D]

This is.

[F]

This is one of the best, I believe one of the best spawn points on the whole planet.

[B]

If you could choose to be born

[F]

in a place that area really nice.

[A]

Sounds like a download. Sounds like a. Sounds like a. A tough spawn, if I'm being honest. Like way out leveling nightmare. Maybe he's gonna be way out leveled there.

[F]

I'm gonna get your ass there next year. What Baby has fun.

[A]

Are you coming, Ethan? No, he's not.

[G]

What do you mean?

[A]

No, we ain't doing that. Maybe just a crazy silly adventure.

[F]

Do do Artist S aon Score Subathon Score Max maximum. Jack it up. Something that it would never get.

[A]

I'll do that.

[G]

Ethan goes.

[F]

It'll never get there. It'll never get.

[A]

People know that means there's no show for like a week.

[F]

They'll be fine. Just give them more than the camping episode.

[A]

No, I'm not. I'm not gonna promise to that. The camping episode was. Was plenty.

[F]

I like the camping episode. I'm just saying, then they can't say.

[A]

So do artists play there or is it just like tech? Is it just like, you know, DJs,

[F]

people that press stupid buttons? It's those guys.

[A]

So. No, there is a dude.

[F]

There is a dude that comes out at like 6am to Fractal Forest. I've noticed every year. And he plays a guitar along with the dance music. And it is the best part. He's just so good. He's up there like jamming to like dance music, like playing electric guitar to this. It's really cool.

[H]

Is there like an adult size, like backpack you could just put me in? I'm.

[A]

Why is that? I.

[F]

If, if I front. If I carried you in front, like if I held you or, or in the back, like, no one would think that's weird or anything.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

You ever seen public comments, people, they be like, your baby's beautiful. And they will pretend you are a baby.

[A]

This is. This is Ab. When someone spikes his water with acid, Harley checks on him.

[G]

Yeah, they'll have something for your anxiety there, Ab. Don't worry.

[A]

Yeah, you're going to think you're going to wake up on Andorra or whatever. Was it Pandora?

[F]

You're going to wake up on top of Harley's on top. No, I'm kidding.

[A]

I'm kidding.

[F]

That'd be crazy though.

[A]

That would be really crazy. I would feel really bad if I sent Ab there and you molested him.

[F]

He like Sent me an AB there

[A]

and we c. Well then I'd never find out.

[F]

Like every night, me and AB. AB. We're not doing that, buddy. Don't get any bright ideas.

[A]

Broke back, baby.

[H]

Imagine all this. People try to talk about the podcast and me and Harley would bring it down.

[C]

Down.

[H]

Or we bring the attention to it because me and Harley had an affair at Shambhal or something.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Why would that bring it down?

[H]

I'll bring it down, but I mean. Well, that's the only actual big controversy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, no, that'd be.

[A]

Ah, that'd be great. That'd be very cloakable. Very.

[F]

I know what we must do. I just don't know if I have the strength.

[A]

Listen, you take enough acid and Cialis, you can anything.

[H]

Yeah, I've never done acid or anything like that either. Molly, anything.

[A]

Don't do drugs.

[B]

Don't do it at Shambhala over.

[F]

We're gonna have a sober run. We'll be fine. Police chief is calling it a horseplay incident.

[A]

That sounds like more than horseplay. Let's see someone on the ground.

[G]

Oh, this is great.

[A]

So this. He sells this many tickets, huh?

[G]

He's huge right now.

[B]

Huge dude.

[G]

Massive.

[A]

So. Oh, they're in chairs. You're do you on the floor and there's chairs. That's disgusting. Crazy move.

[D]

What?

[F]

Like every.

[A]

All over the floor.

[B]

Do we have an understanding of why?

[G]

Yeah, yeah. There's. There's a full story time at B.

[E]

Okay.

[G]

And the girl's very funny.

[A]

Here is the. The story.

[B]

Yeah. Thank God.

[A]

This poor girl. So you've seen the event and now first ever filming a tick tock.

[G]

This is not the girl who pooped. This is the girl who's sitting behind the girl who.

[A]

So she claims.

[G]

So we know. So she claims.

[A]

I mean that would be the perfect cover.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It was all over the floor. Literally, bro. Literally.

[G]

So take it easy on me. I wanted to give a story time of Noah con philly poop gate 2026. I was the person seated directly behind the pooper in question.

[A]

I'm sorry, she saw it go down.

[B]

Huh?

[G]

So, yeah, I just wanted to give you my version of this because I saw the entire poop transpire.

[A]

You saw the shit coming out of

[G]

that starts out, I get to my seat, I'm so happy. He goes on. And this person had been standing, singing. You know, there's two. Two songs in. And then she stands or sorry. Then she sits.

[D]

Oh.

[G]

And I'm like, wow. The look on her face was just very emotional.

[A]

Hold you're In a stadium full of people, you really notice one of the people just sits down and it's being emotional.

[C]

That's the only issue I have with this.

[A]

Sounds like. Right.

[C]

Sitting behind her, how does she know what expression is on her face?

[A]

Why? You'd be like, oh, yeah, I know. I was watching her. She was having so much fun. And then she sat down and there's like thousands of people there.

[D]

She.

[A]

This is the girl that. On the floor is my point.

[G]

I believe her, though.

[A]

She did believe her, though.

[C]

I just. But that's. I. Yeah, it did look kind of

[G]

intimate with the chairs, like, and they were kind of off camera to the side. So maybe she was like, sort of diagonally behind her. I could see this. A profile. And it was weird that she sat down when everyone else was standing. I don't know.

[C]

Listen, I mean, I.

[A]

He who smelt it, dealt it. We all know the rules.

[G]

It's true.

[A]

Nothing's changed.

[G]

Describe it. She's kind of like, you know, I was like. This went on for a couple of minutes and I was like, oh,

[C]

maybe

[G]

she's feeling very overcome with emotion about being here. It's understanding, understandable. You know, it's a concert. But then she's kind of, you know, doing that for a minute or two, and then she stands up. She's kind of like looking around a

[A]

little bit like, you know, how did she see all this?

[G]

And then she reaches behind her.

[C]

That's what I'm saying. No, it wasn't Dan. It wasn't her.

[A]

She was studying this random woman's face for no reason.

[C]

No, the face thing again, doesn't make sense.

[B]

I'm just kidding.

[C]

I pay attention to somebody that's right in front of me. What they're doing, if they're just sitting

[A]

down, if they're being weird, they suddenly sat down.

[C]

And then. Yeah, later, they have come out there. Yeah, I would remember.

[A]

And there's no way you'd be able

[F]

to sneak the out if I were sitting right behind. There's no way.

[A]

No, I. I believe that she saw the come out. But, like, this whole. This whole setup is kind of.

[C]

I mean, maybe she was looking around a little bit, you know, like. Yeah, maybe.

[G]

Yeah, I imagine she was acting a little erratically. If she was her pants.

[A]

I just feel that we should face this with some skepticism.

[G]

Sure. Of course. Of course.

[A]

Yeah. We shouldn't take her word for it.

[C]

Yes, we should.

[A]

Why?

[C]

Because I believe her.

[A]

That's okay that you believe her. Why should we just let her off the hook?

[C]

Wait, off the hook for what?

[A]

I think she might have done it.

[C]

I don't think she did.

[A]

Why do you have so much empathy for her? Have you done this?

[C]

No. There. There's.

[E]

Was it you.

[C]

There's a photo of the aftermath that somebody else took, and you can see her in it, like, standing there, like, oh, nice.

[F]

Return to the scene.

[A]

No, no, no. That was. There's no way the stood around for the study.

[C]

She's not the. I'm saying.

[G]

That's a good perpetrator.

[A]

Why would she. Dude, none of this isn't adding up.

[E]

Well, she was seen in an aftermath video. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Tamara's right.

[A]

She does not stick around. But then that's the serial killer returning to the scene of the crime. That's what I'm saying.

[H]

Yeah.

[F]

Agent 47 still style.

[E]

After you do the.

[F]

You definitely blend into the crowd and hang out.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. Who did this?

[H]

Yeah. Exactly. Her expression makes her a little bit more guilty. Yeah.

[B]

Do we. Maybe she explained this already, but is there, like. Why not just go to the restroom? Was she gonna lose. Was this person gonna lose their seat?

[A]

Maybe it was an emergency.

[H]

Maybe it was her favorite song.

[G]

Yeah. I think she was just excited.

[B]

It just got a little too excited.

[G]

And probably. Probably drunk. Right? Like, she's got to be drunk.

[B]

I guess. Yeah. Drunk people.

[A]

There is an exploding diarrhea pandemic going around.

[G]

This is. But this was not diarrhea. You'll hear. Rewind it a little bit. Because she talks about shake. Shaking out the shorts.

[F]

You lose an hour, you lose an.

[G]

Yeah, it's long. And I still don't understand what's happening. You know, I'm just watching in horror, like a train wreck, you know, you can't really stop it. You just observe. I'm reliving the horror like I went to war.

[A]

It's.

[G]

It's really.

[C]

It's.

[G]

I can't stop thinking about it. She. Two shits fall out of her ass

[A]

onto the floor right in front of.

[C]

So she.

[G]

She shook her shorts and then she tried.

[A]

It could have been soft. And you still shake your shorts.

[C]

No.

[H]

Good.

[G]

Harley.

[F]

This is the idea of, like, shaking it, like, shaking your leg out.

[A]

I thought she was just feeling the music and dancing.

[G]

No, she, like, reached back and. And shook her shorts and the poop.

[F]

This is delicious.

[E]

But this woman seems really disturbed. I wonder if there's, like, a emotional distress lawsuit on their hands here.

[A]

Maybe against the venue or the shitter.

[E]

This woman against the shitter.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

I think it's warranted.

[G]

I'D do it.

[C]

She seems.

[A]

I don't know. How do you sue yourself?

[H]

Oh,

[G]

I guess that's how we find out.

[A]

Thank you, Marvin.

[G]

In front of her. She tried to kick it under the seat and it's smearing everywhere. It's all over her shoe. It's all over, like every. The whole floor.

[F]

That was her up.

[G]

And then she proceeds to continue to watch the concert. And I'm like, what do I do?

[A]

How is that true? You on the floor. And then just continue to have a good time.

[C]

Yeah, you gotta move.

[A]

At least move.

[H]

No, that's a loyal.

[A]

What would you do?

[F]

What would you do? If you're behind the methane, if that person in front of you did that?

[A]

I'd probably say something.

[F]

What would you say?

[A]

I clean up your. You freak.

[C]

You just right there.

[A]

I feel like I would say something to poop stuff.

[F]

It's hard, though. It's hard, though. It's hard when I'm my size. I can't be like, what the are you doing? I'd be scary. I have to be like, excuse me, so sorry.

[A]

What is that? No, no, you. You have everything right there. You can be scary at in this situation.

[C]

This is a red alert. This is like, you have to say something.

[A]

I mean, this is bioterrorism. This is al Qaeda level of terrorism. You know, this. This attack was planned in a cave by a bunch of brown liquid by a bunch of terrorists in Afghanistan.

[H]

A second poop is in the tower.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Not one, but two turd logs.

[G]

There's human shit on the floor right in front of me. And it smells. And it's just. I. I guess I'll go to security, you know. So I go to the security guard and I'm just like, hey. And they were very like in the middle of an intense conversation. So kind of annoyed that I'm inter. But I was like, someone chat.

[F]

This is funny. If you watch it thinking that she's lying about it, it's her a lot more enjoyable.

[A]

It's totally her.

[G]

So then I went to security. It says shorts again.

[A]

I went to security and waited patiently for him to notice me. Like, the shit has already hit the tower, bro. There's nothing left to do. It's like stinking. You're not going to try to go up the stairs and rescue people after the towers have already fallen. Fallen. You know, it's just nonsense.

[G]

You've got to be kidding me. And I'm like, no, I am not. Unfortunately, someone took a human on the floor. So that was something.

[A]

Again, the Entire time.

[G]

Then they went up to her and they were like, hey, can you go to. And she was like, I know. Then she left and came back.

[A]

I know.

[G]

Like, you know, good, take care of business, girl.

[C]

Oh my God.

[G]

But also like, maybe just. It's okay to miss a song, you know, like we don't. I don't know why there's a car behind me. We don't need to see and hear every song if we need to, you know, okay to listen to your body, you know. Never trust a fart at a concert. That is my advice.

[A]

Never. It did smell for fart at a concert ever.

[G]

That wasn't a fart.

[E]

She's like, how would she know that that person trusted a fart? She's clearly self admitting there. And she's like looking behind herself like she just committed a big crime. Like, it's clearly her.

[A]

She has no problem blocking the street. She's like, oh, a car's behind me. It's like, oh, really? You don't mind impeding, imposing yourself on others? The windows are open on the floor.

[H]

She's airing out the car.

[G]

Yep. She's pooping right now while we're watching her.

[E]

She's probably. To be honest, she is in the right. In the right seat. There's someone else in there with her.

[G]

The pooper. She's the getaway car. The solution was they just put kitty litter on it. Security just put the lid on the poop. They probably have it for barf.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[G]

I would guess. Yeah.

[A]

Well, that's a fucking. How fine. How do you do?

[C]

Can you imagine somebody trying to kick poop under your chair? Would be so angry.

[A]

Under your chair, huh? Well, you probably wouldn't see it. You know, it'd be funny is they kicked under your chair and then people start blaming you.

[F]

If they kicked it, I'd kick it back.

[A]

It's like throw a grenade back. Throw the grenade back.

[G]

You know, it was just smearing.

[F]

I'd be down, pick it up and smell it. Yeah, you would smell it.

[C]

Is this mine?

[H]

One of the. One of the comments on the video says I was at Noah's show in Toronto and he made us all solemnly swear not to on the floor.

[C]

Yeah. There's a video of him. Yeah.

[G]

Saying it's in the document.

[C]

Also talking about, I guess how he one time himself on stage.

[F]

Also, you shouldn't go to the bathroom if you have to. You spent like. Like concerts are so expensive. You sat around waiting so long.

[A]

What are you, four on the.

[F]

In your ass. Hold your. In Your ass and wait. You don't miss a song. You're going to miss an hour of this guy. It's all a song.

[A]

You're a Jewish man, you know, you can't hold shit sometimes.

[F]

I just don't. I don't really fudge with situations with ice cream beforehand anymore.

[A]

Okay, you plan.

[F]

That would be something.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

No, listen, I don't know much about Noah Khan, but if you have to announce to your audience, you have to beg with them, please don't shit on the floor. You got to fucking evaluate what's. What are you putting out in the.

[D]

The world.

[A]

So I don't know what kind of music this man makes, but whoever he tracks to his shows, there are people that on the floor of a concert. And this is the type of disclaimer that I don't want to hear my. My artist make. I like to go to shows where that's presumed.

[C]

Yeah, true.

[E]

Yeah. With you, once he says that, I. I get nervous if I'm in the studio.

[A]

What? Yeah.

[D]

What the.

[E]

What kind of people am I around?

[D]

Holy.

[A]

Okay, this is awkward.

[H]

Earth.

[A]

This is awkward.

[B]

And it's fresh in more ways than one. You'll find out in a second.

[A]

When you enter this building, you enter a social contract, right? And one of the big number rule number two, besides don't literally kill each other is don't literally number two. Number two should be the first rule, frankly. The floor.

[G]

So.

[A]

So we're gonna do. We're gonna do what I some therapy type thing where we all basically repeat after me, okay? And if you think you have the in the floor, then don't repeat after me, I guess. But please don't do it.

[H]

Okay?

[A]

I saw them.

[D]

We swear.

[A]

See, now he's humiliating people that aren't even floor shitters. Like, I'm not taking. Yeah, I'm not. I don't want to talk about it. I'm not doing. I'm not making this pledge to you. I on the floor if I want, but I don't. Don't. And that's the whole point, you know, I want to go to a place where people on the floor. I'll go see Blippi live or some. You know what I mean?

[C]

Who.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[D]

Psych.

[A]

Psychuno. You've been to a lot of shows, Gabe?

[D]

I've been to a lot of concerts and shows.

[A]

You ever seen anything crazy?

[D]

All fights.

[A]

Oh, you seen fights?

[D]

I've seen some fight fights I didn't like.

[A]

Anyone get really hurt?

[D]

No, I don't just it's just like fist fights and stuff and then.

[A]

You ever throw down?

[D]

No, no, I just keep it to myself.

[A]

You pacifist?

[D]

I don't pacifist or nothing.

[A]

Yeah, you keep it.

[D]

You keep it to myself and just enjoy the show. Stay out of trouble. And that's it.

[A]

That's the man. That's a play of it there. You think that it's appropriate for, for these artists to be telling their audience, don't shit on the floor?

[D]

I never heard of that, but I've seen it in some, like, Instagram about messages, like, if you gotta go, you gotta go. Even if I have to miss a couple.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean, in elementary school, you know, like when I was a kid, you know, like, of course people gonna make fun of people taking a shit in the bathroom when you're like, like seven or eight. Yeah, that's that thing, you know, and you're.

[A]

As a kid, you hold onto that, you think.

[D]

Yeah. When I was a kid, you know, I was kind of scared that, you know, people would laugh at me if I had to go to the bathroom. And then the other kids saw me, took a shit, and I'm like, ah, they saw you? No.

[A]

Oh, and they didn't. You were just afraid they would. You ever seen. I'll never forget, when I was in elementary school, I would go in the bathroom sometimes and people were shitting in the urinals.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Like, I don't know how they figured that out.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You know that they just thought that that's where you do it. But no, there were shits in the urinals.

[H]

I saw that once. I, I, I, I see it clear as day in my head. I saw it once.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I see it still.

[E]

Who?

[A]

And it's kids. So, you know, they're not like, trolling. It's like, it's a genuine, it's a genuine dumping ground. But, hey, I will not. My pants. No, bro, why are you humiliating your audience? And if I do, I won't take

[D]

it from my pants and put it on the floor.

[A]

Okay, thank you.

[B]

Hang on.

[C]

A call.

[H]

Hang on.

[C]

Hello?

[A]

The national center for IBS Colitis and Diarrhea. It's not even funny.

[F]

What kind of concert is this? Now, like, you want to be the guy, right? It's a lot, you know, it is an easy life. You ever wanted to sabotage someone in life? If you ever want to do that, you could be like. Like, if I introduce people to kid, I'm like, yeah, it's Kate. Yeah, you have McKay. And then when she walks, I'm like, you know that. You know you have the person that shot at the concert. That's her. Don't tell anyone.

[G]

Don't tell anyone I was in Philadelphia, but not the same time.

[A]

Receipts.

[G]

Yeah, it could work. It could work.

[A]

Can you prove that? Beyond a shadow of a doubt.

[G]

Check. Check the bottoms of all of my

[F]

shoes without saying she's there. That would say she's there, though. So it is.

[A]

Anyways, I'll get those receipts over break. I was enjoying more of these Gay or straight compilations and it's just hilarious. The music, the editing, the like cinematic impact. They all.

[D]

All.

[A]

There's something wrong with us men. Dude, you g straight.

[D]

What's happening?

[A]

You think other people going to think that.

[F]

I don't give a what the think

[A]

Feel like he whoops. G straight. Did you check this one, Zach? It's got that jazzy tune. It might be public domain.

[H]

Yeah, I don't think it.

[E]

It got clear.

[A]

Okay. You look like he been in prison a couple times. I ain't going to lie. You g straight. I'm straight as you think. Other people going to think that I'm like, he g straight.

[F]

That gay bro say that.

[A]

Just look at him though. You got.

[H]

They.

[A]

They can never explain it either. It's always just look at him or just the way he's standing or something, you know, so funny gay think other people going to think that. Think I'm gay. Feel like he gay or straight.

[C]

Gay.

[A]

Look how he look

[D]

like he ready

[F]

to get at a.

[A]

You think other people gonna think that? I don't give a. I feel like he gail straight.

[D]

Bam.

[A]

Look a little suspicious, You get out straight. I was like standing. Yeah, you feel like he gave an umbrella.

[D]

Gay as a.

[A]

Like, no matter what, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. The most ordinary looking guy, just to another guy pose the question. You're like that guy Guy is so gay.

[G]

Especially if they're smiling, it seems. Yeah, he likes to show smiling pictures and everyone thinks that's pretty gay.

[E]

Oh, no, brother.

[A]

G A. I don't know g straight.

[F]

Come on, man.

[A]

I'm straight as a pole. You think other people going to think that for sure be like he g straight. Nope, he straight. Well, he down there. Might play both ways, though.

[G]

Bisexual.

[A]

Okay. There's a lot going on that's. It's like, you know, some nuance almost. Straight got some nuance.

[F]

If you around, you get straight straight. You think other people gonna think that.

[A]

Yo, when someone says they hella straight, I'm like so straight you start to bend.

[E]

Eh,

[A]

Suspect no such thing as a straight line. They say cuz space time is curved itself. You know what I'm saying, Nate? Yeah, I get it.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, Nate.

[F]

Cool.

[A]

You know what I'm saying, Sakuno? That's right. It's a lot to chew on.

[B]

Question mark.

[D]

All right, look.

[A]

You get out straight, straight. You think other people going to think that they better think that you feel like he gay or straight. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. Some of them hang around and they confront them. Don't be asking me right now. You say, why are you doing that? You get out straight. You think other people gonna think that. You get out straight, straight.

[E]

What's happening?

[A]

You think other people gonna think that.

[F]

I don't give a what the mother.

[A]

It's just.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

It just tickles my funny bone, you know? It really does. Oh my goodness. Like really some good news here. How long we been going? Are we going for while? Let's just send our well wishes to former enemy of the show. Now a married man and. And really taking huge steps towards a domestic happy life. Keemstar himself, the legend. Look at him with fireworks in the air. I got married yesterday. He put on his hat. But for the aisle. For the aisle, guys. He took the hat off.

[G]

Wait, where's that one that's in the boogie objects. You can see him at the. At the altar.

[A]

Boogie, of course, stood and objected to the marriage.

[G]

We're fine.

[A]

Which is so damn good. You gotta. You gotta appreciate the hustle that. You know, even the. Even the marriages. The marriage ceremony is on the table for the goose, for the show. Let's take a look how this goes down.

[E]

Let them speak now.

[A]

This bald dome man, he took it out on display as an act of ultimate love and affection to his wife Brantley. And she should feel honored. And I feel honored for her that this man. And he's wearing sneakers, of course.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is kind of insane. But do your thing. So close. He was so close.

[H]

Yeah, I didn't see the sneakers.

[D]

Priory.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

He was so close.

[A]

Red sneakers, bro. Come on. You'll be fine. If you put.

[B]

Was he rocking?

[H]

Zach dunks, right?

[A]

I can't tell from this shot.

[E]

Those looks like those kind of shoes that gives you height too, you know, I mean, boosters or whatever.

[G]

Oh, he's got lifts.

[E]

You can tell that they're like definitely off the ground quite a bit.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Sick.

[A]

Interesting. I think you're right. But either way, the dome is out. And I just think that's beautiful.

[E]

You know, hold their peace.

[A]

I mean, I do think it's kind of bullshit to celebrate America's freedom by

[F]

throwing your freedom away.

[A]

That's what you're doing. You're throwing your freedom away on 4th of July.

[B]

Let me get out of here.

[H]

Come on. Come on.

[A]

It's stupid, right? That's stupid. I like that he's dressed like a comedist. I with it. I love it.

[F]

Now, that's it. We got to do this at David's.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

David.

[A]

Can I. Can I? May I? May I?

[D]

No.

[A]

Oh, it's your mar. Oh, it's your wedding. And what is this sacred day? Oh, don't interrupt my wedding.

[F]

The whole cast, everyone, just everyone yelling at me.

[A]

We should all go and then plan without.

[B]

Ruin his wedding day.

[A]

Each one of us will object one after the other, so it'll take like an hour.

[B]

Litigate everything.

[A]

I object.

[G]

Kiss your ass.

[A]

Yeah, on what grounds? David is not ready.

[B]

Who are you again? Are you. Were you even invited?

[A]

No.

[C]

Oh, I wasn't either.

[A]

Oh, I wasn't invited.

[C]

Yeah, I wasn't either.

[A]

I wasn't. No, no. But I'm not doing a serious thing right now. She's upset that she was invited. I didn't ask.

[E]

Wait, tomorrow. You weren't invited. We all were.

[F]

He said no girls. He said he just wanted the boys.

[A]

I was not invited. And that's okay.

[H]

I don't think he wanted you to see him wearing your watch.

[A]

You would have got a really good wedding present.

[G]

But you guys are going to give David, like, an ulcer.

[A]

That's fine. It's fine. You would have got a really, really good wedding present.

[B]

I've explained this off the show, but

[E]

I guess I'll explain it now.

[B]

You have to explain anything.

[A]

Okay, you don't have to. All right, well, anyway, yeah, I wasn't.

[F]

I'm showing up.

[A]

No, I wasn't even.

[B]

I wasn't even.

[F]

Magic.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

This is.

[A]

Talking about. You're just doing a gag.

[B]

Yeah, we're crashing the shit.

[A]

It was.

[D]

It was.

[H]

It was a gag until Nate said, he's gone. I didn't know Nate's going now I'm actually pissed.

[A]

Wait, you guys are kidding. I'm kidding for, like, 10 years. Are you going, Dan? Do you get an invite?

[B]

I'm going, but I don't have an invite.

[D]

Dude.

[A]

Do you guys remember magic? Surprise. Show it up. We're all here. Oh, I hope you put in a meal order. I'll have the steak.

[H]

You guys remember when only Dan was invited? To Trisha's wedding out of the crew and we're all a little Jack jealous. Different time, man.

[A]

Wait, did I. Dan was invited.

[H]

Dan was invited.

[A]

Yeah, I was invited. Wait, did I go to her wedding? I didn't, right?

[D]

No.

[E]

Yeah, no, it was planned before the fallout, I think.

[A]

But then I remember the wedding invite was crazy. Yeah, baby. Yes, of course. This is a nod to the great. This is a nod to Trisha's very heart. Heart warming reenactment of Jana JonBenet. Yeah. Which was very tasteful of her to do. So weird. So weird. Any who back to the wedding.

[H]

Anyone else?

[A]

Anyone else show just I with that big time. That could be us. David. Think about it.

[B]

I'll ask Jenny and see what she thinks.

[G]

You got to bring a little seat. You got to bring a little seat. Cane. Ethan. Like. Like Boogie has in that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Dual purpose. Huge wedding gift, bro. Huge.

[E]

Huge.

[A]

As long as you can do that at the wedding. As long as I can interrupt your ceremony right before you get married.

[B]

Okay, I'll think about it.

[A]

As long as I can ruin your wedding. Let's see here. So, yeah, dome is off. Keem got married on the fourth of July. That's kind of a ballsy date. But, hey, he is America personified. Boogie and his girlfriend doing a TikTok at the wedding. Oh, brother. Where's this going? I have a question for you. Hold on. God damn it.

[G]

He's just really in love with her.

[H]

Hold on.

[A]

I thought. I thought citrus was a winter fruit. Come on. Come on.

[G]

I don't know why he went with the orange.

[A]

The bright orange shirt is fantastic. The convict look.

[G]

What if it turns out better than you could have ever imagined? Imagined? What if all of the changes that you're making in your life right now are leading to something more beautiful than you could have ever envisioned?

[A]

I have a question for you. Jesus invite you to his podcast, use you for your clout, not even talk

[B]

to you afterwards, not even feed you,

[A]

barely even treat you like a human being, and then block you on Twitter

[F]

after you did a show three times.

[A]

Yeah, I can understand why that was.

[D]

Would make you mad.

[A]

Let me sign this. Listen, buddy, I don't pull out the craft service for anybody. Any of our guests. You know, we have snacks. You can help yourself to the snacks. But, like this presumption that you need to give you, like, your last meal or something.

[C]

Guys, please.

[A]

I would like that very much. What if all of the changes that

[G]

you're making in your life right now

[A]

are leading to this? Is Kind of funny. It's like all the changes that made your life amazing. I want a compilation over this of, like, Boogie with a handgun pointing it at someone, like, melting down with. With liar on his forehead. It really work?

[G]

Cancer.

[H]

When I see this, I think of, like a convict that got out for 24 hours to, like, go to his daughter's wedding or something.

[A]

Conical. Yeah, but Boogie should be in jail by all. By all accounts, Frank Boogie eating Buffalo. Chicken finger pizza in Buffalo. Look at it.

[F]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Team's wedding association. So wait, this is so. It's pizza with buffalo sauce. That sounds kind of gnarly. Buffalo chicken fingers.

[F]

I'm ready for that.

[A]

I would.

[G]

It's got, like, chicken tenders with buffalo sauce on it.

[F]

This is fascinating to me. I don't like that one. Stop showing me.

[A]

Chicken finger buffalo.

[G]

That's the one.

[B]

Why? I don't know.

[A]

The whole pizza just fell off.

[F]

He's rushing.

[A]

This guy never ate a pizza before. Like, he pulled it with way too much force when it's hot. And clearly it wasn't cut enough in the middle. I mean, what the bookie? For a guy of your size, you should know how to grab a slice, brother.

[G]

That's a fat rookie mistake.

[A]

He couldn't wait. This is fascinating to me. Look at how he grabs this. This is outrageous.

[F]

Chicken finger buffalo pizza.

[H]

Why?

[B]

I don't.

[G]

Oh, dent in the middle.

[D]

You. I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, crazy, right?

[D]

It is.

[A]

You like pizza?

[D]

I love pizza. Pepperoni. Pepperoni is my favorite. I like the thin slice, thin peps. Thin peps pizza.

[A]

You like lots of them or just like, a few?

[D]

I'd say if I'm hungry a lot,

[A]

but sometimes people like it where they cover, like, all the cheese with pepperoni.

[D]

Oh, yeah, that would be great.

[A]

You do like that?

[D]

I love pepperoni pizza. That's like one of my favorites. Yeah, but the non traditional piece, the second one I like. I don't know, but I don't know

[A]

if pineapple love pineapple.

[D]

Pineapple on a pizza. I love that one.

[A]

Me too, buddy.

[D]

A lot of people don't like it.

[A]

I fucking love it.

[D]

Love it. But hey, I gotta express myself. I like to like what I like.

[A]

Pizza's about expressing yourself. Yeah, if people didn't like it, they wouldn't sell it.

[D]

I love pineapple pizza with Canadian bacon.

[A]

That's a Hawaiian, man. I live.

[D]

I love that one.

[A]

You ever try? You like black olives?

[D]

Nah, I don't care for that. Just anything with meat, like pepperoni or Canadian bacon and Pineapple. I'd. I'd be good with that.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I like you on the pineapple, so we. We unite on that. But for me, my dream pizza, other than the one that everybody knows, like, if it's just covered in olives, like, all black, that's for me. I love the black olives. Yeah, they just cake that. What?

[G]

Kate, I just realized you could see me behind.

[A]

I can see you behind. Yeah. What's wrong with that, huh? Okay, what's. So are you too good for black olives? What do you like?

[G]

I sit in, like, that. That. I love a pepperoni. I like. I like broccoli on a pizza.

[A]

I like broccoli. I do. No, I. Broccoli is great on pizza.

[G]

When it gets, like, roasted. It's so good. And I like. I like a white pizza.

[A]

Like a white, white pizza.

[F]

One green and one meat is a good move. Jalapeno and pepperoni or. Or anything you want A green pepper and sausage. Yeah, anything you want. Just one green, one meat. It's a good move.

[G]

Green pepper and pepperoni is banging.

[F]

Pineapple and pepperoni is also good.

[D]

I did that combination at Domino's. Pepperoni, pineapple.

[G]

That's smart.

[F]

Domino's triple, triple pepperoni. They will cover the whole pizza. I love that.

[H]

It's a bit.

[A]

It's a bit much. And it's like. We get it. You got lots of pepperoni. You don't have to flex.

[G]

Yeah.

[F]

You're like, get all these pepperoni out here.

[D]

Put her.

[F]

Put all olives, dude.

[A]

All olives on top.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, that's a. That's a working man's food. I love pizza. That's a socialist meal right there. Look at that.

[G]

Just ruins it.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

He's not even going to acknowledge. He's not even going to acknowledge you destroyed them in Buffalo, New York. You got to wash it down with

[F]

Logan Berry, which, if you haven't had

[C]

it, it's basically

[F]

okay.

[A]

Buffalo chicken pizza.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

Did he chip his tooth?

[D]

Yeah, he did.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, no. He chipped his veneers. How did.

[G]

Yikes.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

That's good.

[F]

Really?

[G]

He's never had Buffalo chicken pizza.

[H]

That's me.

[A]

Literally anytime I take a bite of any pizza. No discrimination.

[D]

Oh, this is so.

[A]

All right, I gotta bail on this. Boogie and Ricky Berwick cruising on scooters over the border to Canada. Boogie's on the run. I'm recording on my phone, Ricky, because I need proof that you are a mean.

[G]

I'm a mean bro.

[C]

You're breaking a law right now.

[D]

What law?

[C]

Your phone and driving.

[A]

That's not a law in Canada. That is a law in Canada.

[C]

It's a law everywhere.

[A]

Well, in America, we go where we want, Rich.

[F]

All right.

[E]

Are they both.

[B]

Were they both on mobile?

[G]

They're both on scooters.

[A]

Yeah, we're bailing on that one. Fighting with him on the streets upside New York or in Canada. We don't know which country they're currently in, you cripple. Yeah, you'd like to try. Bring your ass over here. I got all day. Which I think it's a funny idea, but the execution is just not it. Boogie went to Niagara Falls. Are you excited to go behind the falls? Did he go in the falls? Why is he so wet?

[G]

You know, it's like you already.

[E]

It's just grease.

[A]

Just grease, eh? So excited. I can't wait to get soaked and wet and I'm gonna put my tongue in your mouth. No, you're not.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Stay tuned.

[B]

Hey, hey.

[A]

It's fun when me and AB do it.

[F]

Not you guys.

[A]

And then we have a sweaty boogie to close it out to round off this boogie season here. And because it's like living inside a honeycomb. You know, the cereal. Not like a bee honeycomb.

[G]

It's his butthole.

[A]

Well, I'm sweating. You can see his butthole. Oh, my God. Of course I'm gonna sweat, yo. His butthole's immaculate, son.

[G]

I know.

[A]

Doesn't even touch the ground.

[E]

Oh, whoa. This is Francis.

[D]

Okay. All right, look, I'm making.

[A]

I'm an impressionist.

[H]

Okay.

[A]

When did this. When Was this post? 22 hours.

[D]

Wow. Is that right? Look.

[A]

That's art. That's art. Because it's like living inside.

[E]

Long time no see.

[F]

Yeah. What's going on there?

[A]

I. Maybe he shaved his goat and went back to the basics. Shout out to his. Though. Truly looking good. Truly. Truly untouched.

[F]

I don't want to. I don't want to.

[C]

Shut up.

[A]

Boogie's Shout it out now.

[F]

I don't want to. Shut up with these.

[A]

There you go. Thank you. Now you're part of the gang. You've been initiated. We got. So anyway, we've been going for a while. Let's thank some of our. Our generous, lovely supporters and then.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

We'll get out of here and remind her about the schedule. We'll post it. We should post it on social media.

[E]

It's on Instagram.

[A]

Yeah, check Instagram if you want to update on the schedule. But essentially just a reminder here. Where is it?

[H]

Here I could send you.

[A]

Here it is. So just a reminder here. Tomorrow is Tuesday, which is true crime Tuesday. That's going to be very fun, very exciting. What are you guys discussing tomorrow?

[G]

Okay, we're gonna be doing Tyler Robinson, the guy who allegedly killed Charlie Kirk.

[A]

Oh, no, I forgot. Charlie Kirk's the time traveler.

[G]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, so that's. There's a lot of hysteria around that. So that should be interesting. Wednesday. We're back with the combined show and you guys are bringing a segment for us on Wednesday, which is. What is it? Or do you not know?

[G]

We're gonna find out.

[A]

Okay, stay tuned. And then Thursday's Members for all you beautiful, lovely people. And Fridays, that doubleheader, H3, H3 after dark. You gotta love it, folks. It is what it is. People say less after dark. Sad face. Trust me, this is for the greater good. You're gonna love it. Stay tuned and stay blessed. Thank you. Also, just a reminder real fast, before we get to the donos Teddy Fresh, you know, we had these new shirts and they sold out immediately and we just restocked them. So if you wanted to grab yourself one of these turtle or pony or unicorn shirts, they're back in stock and you can get it now on pre sale. They sold out so fast. And it really has. Has this just lovely retro vibe. Such a great shirt. Very cool. Yeah, so pick one of those up. But we also got like a easy dress, we're calling it. And oh, yeah, this classic, which I'm wearing right now, was restocked. Everybody loves this shirt because it's just so damn good. Such a cool design. It's got a embroidered the white and then like a nice. And then like. And it's so cool.

[F]

And that easy dress with the Mary Jane, that would go hard.

[G]

It's got my name on it for sure.

[F]

Right?

[A]

All right, Ethan, you could wear the

[F]

easy dress with Mary Jane's and it would look great.

[A]

I got in. I'll wear easy dress. I'll pop Mary James. Okay.

[E]

With marriage.

[A]

I don't know what that is, but I'm in. I'll do it. A dad over to you.

[B]

Okay, let's see. From Michelle Silveria Diaz. Finger gut. Wow, what a name. I've missed you guys so much. Here's for the next camping trip. Also, shout out to my dog, Ginu. Giu, giu. Thank you very much. Michelle M. Donated $50 right at the beginning of the show and said it's happening in all caps. Thank you very much, Michelle.

[E]

Liv.

[B]

I hope Ethan and the crew Had a great summer vacation. During the break, my husband and I found out that I'm pregnant with our first. I couldn't wait to share it with H3FRAM. Peace and love. Thank you very much and congrats. Slow Jabroni said. We're back, baby. Let's get those jugs on.

[A]

Yes, sir.

[B]

Megan said. I got married June 19th and forgot to super chat. My first live was AB and Zach Arg arguing over the chair.

[A]

Ah, classic. That was a great moment.

[B]

Much love to all the crew. Y' all got me through some tough times. Still rewatch old episodes and shout out to H3 after dark too. That's from Megan. Thank you very much, Megan, and congrats on the marriage soul. Last month when the show ended, I had a boyfriend. And now that you guys are back, I'm single again. Interestingly enough, I showed him the pod and all he had to say was that Ethan was unbearable. Thank God.

[A]

Well, thank you for that.

[B]

Thank God we broke up.

[A]

Thanks for that. That message there. Like, I needed reminders that people find me unbearable.

[B]

The man was. Well, they're saying the man was whack and unfunny. So welcome back.

[A]

Cheers. Yeah, I mean, God bless. You got to find yourself a man that, like, stands and respects true comedy.

[E]

Traps here.

[H]

Absolutely.

[B]

Camden haven said sending 20 to know what couch that is. Love it.

[H]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And I'm in need of a new couch. Does anybody remember where that orange couch?

[A]

So I'll tell you, I'll warn you about this couch. It actually looks great and works really good on the set. It's not comfortable. It's not comfortable. Right. Gabe, what do you. What's your review of it? Well, it's.

[D]

It's leather.

[A]

It's not leather.

[E]

It's like sway.

[D]

Sway.

[A]

No, but it's not the. It's not the fabric. It's the, like, design.

[E]

You're definitely right. It's. It's more uncomfortable couch. Don't get it.

[A]

Yeah, but it looks really helps your super pretty.

[D]

I just say it's just the basic. Just to sit on it.

[A]

And it's good because it's low, so it's not covering the TV at all. So it's good for what it.

[E]

For what?

[A]

We got it there.

[E]

It looks great up there.

[A]

Yeah, it looks great. But get a different one for sure. Yeah.

[B]

Papa Molly said. How much for Dan to celebrate and pop that bottle in his background. He deserves it. Congrats, guys. It looks amazing. A million kisses and hugs for the crew. Peace and love. Thank you very much.

[A]

Dude, imagine that. We changed the entire set and I haven't seen one complaint yet. Have you?

[H]

No.

[B]

No, not really. Block Chicken said the show is back. Oh boy. Big news. Oh boy. Pig news. Thank you, Block Chicken. Xander said. Hey, Dan, I went to an awesome game store over break and got my first warhammer set. Did you end up making any progress on your minis? Not over the break.

[D]

I.

[A]

He was busy.

[B]

It was busy. I didn't really calling it a break is a.

[F]

Is.

[B]

Is incorrect. But enjoy. Have fun. I'll probably get around to that soon. Natasha N. Said. So happy to have the show come back on my 26th birthday. Also celebrating getting engaged to the love of my life this past weekend. Congrats. Love you all, especially Hila and Dan. Oh, us too. Specifically. Hup hup. Family. Oh, Hila's gone. But I'll accept that. Thank you very much. The other MJ said the new set is amazing. Great job, everybody. And I love Yalls Crazy feminine intuitions.

[A]

Yep.

[F]

What does that mean?

[A]

Maybe she's. They're talking to me.

[B]

Talking to you?

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, I just have my. I just understand women in a way that most men can't relate.

[B]

Right. Block chicken again. Here's $20 more. More towards the send Dan to Japan fund. That. That fun. That's not.

[A]

Yeah, send that. Keep the money coming.

[B]

He deserves a vacation. I'll be taking vacation that.

[A]

That he does that.

[B]

You can send him to review all the watches on Nakano Broadway.

[A]

Then it's still not a vacation.

[B]

Is that. Is that a famous watch district in Tokyo or something? Also see the life size Gundam statue. I will definitely be doing that once I make it out there. Thank you. Block Trickin Habanero Sriracha said alt for Norge. Is this. Anybody know what that means?

[A]

Sounds like Swedish or Norwegian.

[E]

Yeah, it says Norway in. In Norwegian.

[B]

Okay. I was wondering Swedish. I guess they're sad about Norway losing.

[E]

Is okay, guys.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

But we all. But Harland.

[E]

Yeah, we. We won.

[B]

We won. They won Norway.

[A]

Even though it's not Sweden, it's like kind of close. Well, you know.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah. Once we got out, all the Swedish people got on board with Norway.

[A]

That's nice.

[E]

I see a lot of people saying that that's not the case, but I really do think that most.

[A]

Most Swedish people was hoping Scandinavian solidarity.

[E]

I went to this bar somewhere in Santa Monica. It was a Swedish hub. I found it on Facebook actually in like a Swedish in LA Facebook group. There's a bunch of Swedish people there and then a couple Norwegian people There that I shouted. Attitude, huh? Yeah.

[B]

That's cool.

[E]

So definitely pretty cool.

[A]

That's cool. You went there to watch the football game.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's cool.

[E]

Yeah, it was awesome. Full of Swedish people swinging the national ange them and. That's so sick. Yeah.

[B]

Shout out to Carl Gustav or whatever.

[E]

Oh, yes.

[B]

The witching hour donated and said I'm Aussie and I bought my first teddy fresh shirt over the break. And I cannot believe how incredibly comfy and soft the material is.

[A]

So glad to hear that.

[B]

I get over stimulated it for materials and I'm obsessed with the quality also. Love you guys. Thank you.

[A]

I love you and thank you for supporting us. And I'm glad you like it.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Glad you had a good time. Enter. Chasman said to counter Zach's Legos, I picked up building Gundam models kits over the break. Gundam gang gum, gum. Zach was considering getting into the Gundams at some point.

[A]

You know Cam bought me one, right?

[B]

That's what it was.

[E]

I just.

[A]

I didn't dare dig it.

[B]

You weren't into it.

[A]

It's on my bag now.

[H]

All right, fair enough.

[A]

Are those the ones you have to like glue and.

[B]

No, they mostly snap together. I have one. Is it not visible? Oh, it's like. Oh, yeah, it is. It is.

[A]

It snaps on. That's all right.

[E]

Yeah, it's cool.

[B]

This guy.

[E]

It's hard. Harder, though. It'll take a couple hours.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's. It's pretty tricky. Smell the peaches said, welcome back. I got spirit bombs the day I found out I was pregnant. And today is the welcome back show. I found out it's a boy. We're so aligned.

[A]

Let's get those airs going.

[B]

Can I get boy names? Plus a spirit bomb for our January double rainbow baby. Can you get boy names?

[H]

Nate.

[A]

Nate could tell you that. Kingsman, Cece, Saza, Bazee, Keplunk. Keplunk. Seriously, bro, they're not gonna name their kid. That is kind of a badass name. Laser. That's not even a name. It's a sound kaplan.

[B]

Anything can be a name.

[G]

Lasers.

[F]

Laser is a Jewish name.

[B]

Laser. Kind of sick.

[A]

That is kind of sick.

[B]

Stone monkey said. Dan, next time you're in New York City, please reach out. If you're looking for any drag slash nerdy shit shows or any fun spots to check out, I'd be happy to provide deets. All right. Well, it won't be in the summer, I'll tell you that. It'll definitely be a different time of year. Thank you. Officer Butt baby said, Baba Booie. Baba Booie. Baba Booie. Jimmy Kimmel. Howard Stearns. Pee pee.

[A]

There you go.

[E]

To y'.

[D]

All.

[A]

Baba Bowie. Howard Stern's penis.

[B]

Okay. God damn it. Kelsey said. I love the set. Welcome back, fam. I just want to shout out my bestie. Happy birthday to my best friend. Friend Aaron.

[A]

Aaron. We love besties.

[B]

Trying to get her to love Fred Durst. So can she get a sound bite?

[A]

Well, a rednet from Jacksonville.

[E]

Yep.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Come on. Come and get some.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Come and get.

[A]

Come and get some hummus, baby.

[B]

Alyssa said, hey, Ethan and Ela. I was the fan that met you two at Disney World and sobbed the entire time.

[D]

Time.

[B]

I'm super embarrassed.

[A]

Why? It was nice.

[B]

You remember that.

[A]

Yeah. It was very nice meeting you, but

[B]

it was already such a fun trip, and meeting you guys made it even better. The heat was awful. And I'm from Texas.

[D]

See?

[A]

She knows. Thank you for backing me up, but it was a pleasure meeting you. Don't feel bad. I. We was great. I'm glad we ran into you.

[B]

Ali a said I used my PTO to visit my home in Idaho. Idaho is Idaho. Actually, every. Every year, twice a year, I get Lena and AB. I'd like to vacation, too. Hopefully we'll move back home one day, catching up on all those vacays. Peace and love. Oh, shout out to Allison, fellow Idahoan. That's right. Hi, Allison.

[A]

Idahoan.

[B]

Idahoan.

[A]

You be Hoenn.

[B]

Nick said Magic Kingdom is a very nice hotel suite. Disneyland is your bedroom. What I think this is. They're using a metaphor.

[F]

They're.

[B]

I think they're saying they like Disney. Disneyland feels like home.

[A]

Okay. Well. Well, I guess I agree.

[B]

Yeah. Also, Taylor said Disney World technically is in Orlando. Don't on my city too much, bro.

[A]

Listen, I don't want to fight.

[B]

It's like their own municipality.

[A]

Yeah, but. Yes, but I don't want to fight.

[H]

Fight with you.

[A]

Okay, but let's be real. There's. There you. Would you. You would way rather live anywhere else? Stop the cap. Well, maybe they don't know.

[B]

Maybe they don't know any better.

[A]

Stop the cap.

[B]

Nick. Boris said in memory of the Allen sound bite. Sam Neill, who played Dr. Alan Grant, passed away after going into remission of stage three cancer.

[A]

Clearly, he didn't go into remission.

[F]

Alan.

[B]

Alan.

[F]

Alan.

[B]

Alan.

[F]

Alan.

[A]

Fondly remembered from Event Horizon.

[B]

Yes. Yes. It's one of Ali's favorite movies.

[A]

That's a scary movie right there.

[D]

Great.

[B]

Great flick. Rylor Riley or donated $10 said I'm 48 minutes behind. But no. Where's the phone? That was the most amazing underutilized feature. I broke my donation V card for this hi D and we just haven't connected it yet. It's. It's not going away.

[E]

Don't worry.

[A]

We'll bring back the phone. And also we had discussed getting a light so we know when someone's on. On hold.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

So that it will.

[B]

You know, not only is it coming back but with upgrades.

[A]

Better than ever.

[B]

Exactly.

[D]

Good call.

[F]

Whoever said put a phone. That's really smart of them. They were probably working with you guys for years to suggest something like that.

[B]

Yeah, probably.

[A]

Why? Was it what you thought? What happened?

[B]

I don't know. I can't remember who suggest the idea

[F]

is probably doesn't matter have we all work as a team so no one takes anything. We all work together as members.

[B]

Exactly. Exactly.

[A]

I thought it was my idea.

[B]

For sure. For sure.

[G]

Exactly.

[A]

It was my idea. I remember it was either me or Nate that said it now.

[F]

It was me.

[A]

Definitely for sure.

[B]

Jean Medri said Kate. Did you see that the WNBA broke attendance records in Montreal last Friday?

[G]

Wow.

[B]

Oh, it's all thanks to you.

[A]

Women in basketball stay winning.

[B]

Women in basketball mirrors edge. Girl said I met Mitch once when I was a kid. I'm Assuming this is Mr. McConnell. My grandma used to know him. Definitely thinks something's off. Well, what gave you that idea?

[A]

Well, the fact that he. I'm actually feeling completely fine.

[B]

That is interesting that you knew him as a kid.

[D]

Kid.

[B]

And that you must be from Kentucky.

[G]

Right?

[B]

Kentucky. But not to slam on you too hard, but I don't think that's a particular. I don't think that experience gave you any particular insight here because pretty obvious that something's off.

[D]

Right?

[B]

I think we all agree that something's off.

[A]

Don't. Don't. Don't poo poo. Their observation.

[B]

Okay.

[G]

All right.

[B]

You're right.

[A]

They have.

[B]

It's good to have confirmation from a personal friend.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

That something might be off. Think something might be off. Horny for serotonin. Okay. While on break, I had to say goodbye to my soul dog, Molly. I got her in 2014 and we discovered H3H3 together. She watched every episode of the pod with me. Today I picked up her remains. Can we get a We love you for. For Molly there?

[A]

I love Molly.

[B]

We do love Molly. And thank you. Sorry for your loss, but thank you for the support. Horny for serotonin. That does undercut the heartfeltness of the moment a little bit. With such an insane name.

[A]

A lot of racing in the dock. What's happening, huh? Is someone tinkering with the dock right now or am I tripping? Okay, never mind.

[B]

I ain't touching the dock.

[C]

It was me.

[G]

I was just moving. I was moving stuff to Wednesday that

[C]

we didn't get to.

[A]

Okay, cool, cool, cool.

[B]

Nick Boris. Yes. Nick Boris, who donated earlier and is our. Our wildlife photographer.

[A]

Ah, yes.

[B]

Here in Alaska, we have a famous Fourth of July car launch in Glacier View. You all might enjoy some of those videos. I believe we did check that out on the pod one year. It's that thing where they just take a bunch of old junker cars and just drive them off of a cliff and just watch them smash onto the ground. It's kind of epic.

[A]

Sounds kind of very American.

[B]

Very American. Brandon said, I just realized I have been subbed for five years. Exactly. I just want to thank H3 for all the amazing content you have provided and how you've kept me entertained all this time. Love you. Alan. Just hidalin. Hey, B. Just wanted to say your cameo meant a lot to me. Thank you for being so kind and encouraging. I'm rooting for you and everyone on the podcast. Love you guys. That's from Just a Highland. Just a.

[E]

Wait.

[B]

Just a Highlander.

[A]

You know who else?

[H]

Shout out. Thank you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know who else does cameos?

[D]

Who?

[A]

Uncle Gabe.

[B]

Oh, this gentleman right here.

[D]

That's right.

[B]

This player. It's Playa McDonald.

[A]

What are we going at here? Who's still 15 going rate?

[D]

15 still at 15.

[B]

Nice deal of the summer.

[A]

Are we going to raise it up at any time? Should we. Should we get a sense of urgency going on?

[D]

No. No, nothing.

[A]

Same great price.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Same great product. It's Uncle Gabe, guys. There you go.

[B]

Uncle Gabe can't cameo. DZ said. Congrats to my friends Ethan and Oan own. I'm sorry, I'm probably saying that wrong. On their engagement. Congratulations from your friend Deasy to you

[D]

both

[B]

for the pineapple pizza haters. Is it because it's a fruit? How do you feel about tomato on pizza? Oh, this is on formal tech. Trying to.

[A]

I see. I like to do intellectual judo here. I mean, yeah, it's covered in fruit juice essentially. So, like, why you hating?

[D]

Yep.

[B]

Tatted by Georgie. Said the set looks amazing. I'm so happy to have you back on the show. I hope you all had a great break. Love from Florida. Also, Hila is glowing as always.

[F]

Thank you.

[B]

Tatted by Georgie, Friend of The show tatted by Georgie.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And finally, let's see, I went to the. Great. This is from Sid Almond. I'm going to have to cut it off after this. Thank you for everybody who don't donated. Went to the Great Wolf Lodge this weekend.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

A kid threw up in the wave pool. I reported this to the staff and they didn't empty the pool.

[A]

Yeah. Why would they otherwise? You think that's the first person that puked in that pool? They have like a quota, like 20 pukes before they.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Otherwise the stay was fine. Happy to have the crew back. Peace and love. Thank you, Sid Allman and thank you to everybody who donated.

[G]

Thank you.

[B]

And we will see you tomorrow.

[A]

Yeah, obviously we got lots of changes still in the work and edit. There's lots of editing and adding and lots of fun stuff in the works. We've, you know, been putting thought into the show and working everything out. So anyway, we're happy that we're back and that the set is a bonafide hit. And thank you for everyone for watching and coming back and being here and God bless you all. Thank you to our supporters. Thanks to viewers like you, this show we're able to make this big, beautiful set.

[E]

Right.

[A]

And take risks. Your mic is muted.

[D]

Oh, is it?

[B]

And thank you to Gabe and Kate and Harley as well.

[A]

And David joining us today. And David. Yes. So, well, Kate and Harley, you're going to start seeing them on the show more because that's what's popping. And so look forward to tomorrow. Tuesday Trui Crime. Every Tuesday here, hosted by Kate and Harley, Charlie and David. Oh, my.

[G]

That's right.

[A]

And then Wednesdays Excel. That means all of us are back. Thursdays for members. Friday is the double header that you all know and love. That's both shows back to back. So enjoy tomorrow's true crime episode. And until then, wish you all the best. Is Ethan Klein in the gay saying tata for now,

[C]

Sa.