We're Moving! - H3 Show #283

Summary

H3 Podcast Episode #283 Summary

Episode Title: We're Moving!
Date: June 19, 2026
Host: Ethan Klein
Crew: Dan, Tom, Abby, Zach, Love, Galia, Tamara, and guests

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Episode Overview

This episode marks the last show before the H3 Podcast crew goes on a three-week break—a major theme throughout is both the excitement and chaos of preparing for the move to a brand new set, and the bittersweet feeling of going on hiatus. The gang dives into debates about "daytime" ice cream, Ethan’s new “lordship” status, cruise culture (with a deep-dive on JoJo Siwa’s cruise), and recent celebrity happenings, all mixed with characteristic tangents, crew antics, and classic H3 banter. The episode is peppered with sound bites, audience interactions, unique anecdotes, and a closing blitz of viewer donations and goodbyes.

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Key Topics & Discussion Highlights

1. Big H3 Move & New Set Announcement

• [02:20] Dan reveals he’s spending the break overseeing the move into a new, full physical set.
• Ethan: “Our biggest investment, our biggest set. You guys better like it because it's costing a fortune.” [02:48]
• [86:38] Dan and Ethan clarify that both the set and the building are changing.
• Crew anticipates chaos, moving lots of boxes, and a major refresh for the podcast’s look.

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2. Ice Cream: Day vs. Night—A Heated Debate

• [05:00 - 17:00, recurring] The crew intensely debates whether ice cream is a daytime or nighttime treat.
• Abby: “I used to manage an ice cream parlor for three years...we were open during the day.” [07:33]
• Various perspectives: popsicles = daytime, ice cream = night (per Galia, Hila, and others). Ethan and others push back, citing cereal as "deconstructed ice cream."
• Gabe (guest): “Sometimes I eat ice cream for breakfast. I've done it.” [13:25]
• Eventually, group begins ordering ice cream on air to settle it.

Memorable Quote:

“You guys are really going to act too good to eat ice cream during the day? Can you be less pretentious, please? There's people watching this, bro.”
— Ethan Klein [06:19]

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3. Ethan Becomes a "Lord" and "Sir" of Sealand

• [23:10 - 28:20] Ethan shows off his newly acquired fake-noble titles from the Principality of Sealand.
• Reads ornate certificates dubbing him "Sir" and "Lord Ethan Edward Klein," discusses buying nobility online.
• Tangential jokes about peerage (‘what do I call you, Lord Sir or Sir Lord?’), confusion over the line of titles, and failed Duke ambitions.
• Group playfully debates royal protocol for addressing Ethan moving forward.
• Ethan: “You need to refer to me, my lord. ...Me lord is for peasants.” [26:16]

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4. Sponsor Segments

• Advertisers: Mood (Delta-8 THC products), Monarch (personal finance/budgeting app).
• Entertaining, off-the-cuff reads tangent into life advice, saving money on Postmates, and Ethan’s mock financial expertise.

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5. Viral & Trending Clips / Fan Content

• [40:28] Abby edits podcast footage in the style of “Goodfellas,” delighting the crew.
• [44:45] Discovery of a dentist with a cartoonish voice on TikTok, leading to crew teasing and giggles.
• Random Michael Jackson soundboard site debuts as an H3 inside joke, triggered for Lord Ethan’s new title.

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6. Gary Vee & Handwashing Rant

• [48:56+] Gary Vaynerchuk featured in a viral clip: “I also don't wash my hands. Ever.”
• Ethan roasts the trend of celebrity 'dirty' advice and muses about immune systems, “bubble babies,” and Gary’s disregard for hygiene.
• Ethan: “You wipe your ass, you want to wash your hand. That’s just discourteous...” [50:58]

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7. The JoJo Siwa Cruise Deep-Dive

• [119:26+] Crew explores viral social media coverage and vlogs about the first-ever JoJo Siwa cruise.
• Discuss ticket pricing ($1,100+ for three days), exclusive events, build-a-bow workshops, JoJo’s appearances, and the concept of influencer cruises.
• Watch and dissect Ben of the Week’s YouTube video reviewing the cruise from a tongue-in-cheek perspective.
• Discussion on the exploitative labor practices of the cruise industry and the Americanization of “mega cruises.”
• Ethan: “It’s an airport at sea...they got to get people on these fucking boats and it’s just a damn death trap.” [141:57]

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8. Celebrity News

• Ariana Grande & Ethan Slater Breakup:
  [176:52+] Olivia absent, but the team covers the end of ARIANA + Spongebob’s (Slater) relationship; jokes about Slater’s appearance and Jewish heritage abound.
• RFK Jr. & Family Oddities:
  [67:08+] Entertaining new story from RFK Jr’s sister about his bizarre behavior with snakes at a kid’s party ("RFK being RFK" antics).

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9. International Treats & Midsummer

• [85:48+] Love brings Swedish cakes ('princess cake' with marzipan) and 'chocolate balls' to share for Midsommar celebrations.
• Love sings Swedish “frog song”; crew dives into Midsummer traditions of his home country.

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10. Audience Q&A, Donations, and Goodbyes

• [194:55+] Extended final donation/celebration segment before break—shoutouts for birthdays, milestone moments, cancer victories, and more.
• Crew answers queries about babies, adulthood, and jobs, offer words of encouragement to viewers going through health or life struggles.
• Reiterate appreciation for fans and announce exclusive “camping trip” video will drop during the break.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

Early Move Hype & Financial Realness:

• “You guys better like [the new set] because it’s costing a fortune.”
  —Ethan Klein [02:48]

Ice Cream Showdown:

• “Ice cream is night coded.”
  —Galia [06:43]
• “Cereal is just deconstructed ice cream. Checkmate. You lose.”
  —Ethan Klein [14:28]

On Buying a Noble Title:

• “Your exquisiteness. That's not a thing. ...Why?”
  —Ethan [28:28]
• “I want the mint chocolate chip polar pizza ice cream treat.”
  —Ethan, ordering during the ice cream escalation [22:50]

On Cruises:

• “It’s an airport at sea.”
  —Ethan Klein [154:00]
• “We should sink all cruise ships, with everyone on them.”
  —Ethan, semi-mockingly [168:44]

On Celebrity “Hot Takes”

• “My whole life is about knowing everything about 13 year olds.”
  —Ethan, impersonating Gary Vee [51:41]
• “We all knew this was going to happen. Apparently Ariana has a reputation for doing this. ...She already has another man.”
  —Ethan, on Ariana & Slater [181:29]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [02:20] Announcement: New set & move
• [05:00—17:00] Ice cream day/night debate
• [23:10] Ethan’s Sealand lordship
• [40:28] Goodfellas parody/humor clips
• [48:56] Gary Vee & handwashing
• [85:48] Swedish Midsummer treats/culture
• [119:26 - 170:00] JoJo Siwa Cruise – discussion, viral clips, cruise ship labor, and influencer events
• [176:52] Ariana/Slater breakup coverage
• [194:55—end] Viewer donations, shoutouts, break info, goodbyes

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Episode Tone & Closing

High-energy, irreverent, loaded with inside jokes and spontaneous bits. The show oscillates between friendly group squabble, sharp satire of influencer and Internet culture, and genuine interaction with their fanbase. The last portion is a heartfelt, sometimes sentimental thank-you session, showing real connection to their devoted audience before leaving for break.

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Final Announcements

• Return date: July 13, 2026
• Interim content: The "camping trip" special drops during the break on YouTube.
• Big return: Next era begins with the new H3 studio and set.

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[Ethan:]
“We're going to come back rejuvenated, with more vigor, more taste for life ... and a whole new set.” [247:51]

[Entire crew:]
Thank you to all fans, supporters, and members. See you after the break!

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Transcript

[Ethan Klein]

The FIFA World cup is here and

[Zach]

you can now feel the thrill of

[Dan]

the pitch in FIFA World Cup Launch Edition on Netflix. A fast and fluid football game where

[Ethan Klein]

your phone is the controller and the TV is the stadium. Play for your country in 16 different

[Dan]

stadiums with up to four friends all

[Ethan Klein]

included in your membership.

[Dan]

Scroll to the Games tab on your

[Ethan Klein]

TV and play FIFA World Cup Launch Edition now only on Netflix. Welcome, everybody. It's the last show before break. We're gonna have a lot of fun here today. Don't get too bummed out, guys. We will be back. I was as I was saying thank you to Mood and Monarch today for sponsoring us. How about that, huh? Still got it, folks.

[Dan]

Gotta be the earliest button of all time.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't think so.

[Tom]

I think we've done probably an earlier one.

[Abby]

I think we beat it.

[Dan]

Did they even see the intro or did it just open on a button?

[Ethan Klein]

That would be very fun. We'll go see how far back. But anyway, I was just. Well, you guys know what I always say at the beginning. Welcome, everybody.

[Dan]

Okay, they're saying five seconds in. It was five seconds.

[Ethan Klein]

I was saying that it's our last show before break. But don't lose hope here, guys. Don't. You know what I mean? Don't. Don't despair too hard because I'm despairing. Don't. Don't. Dan, I'm sure you're broken up about it.

[Dan]

I'm real torn up inside.

[Ethan Klein]

Three weeks off, Dan is. Is just hopelessly devastated.

[Dan]

Well, let me correct.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll check in on you, buddy.

[Dan]

Let me correct you there, Ethan. I don't actually get three weeks off. That's not true at all.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, really true.

[Dan]

Because I'll be working on something for the majority of those three weeks.

[Ethan Klein]

Yep, the majority. Yeah, yeah, you lose. Well, tell them what you're working on.

[Dan]

Well, I'll be working on moving us into our new set.

[Ethan Klein]

And is it just like a green screen again or.

[Dan]

It is not a green screen. Although we will still have a green screen, of course, because that's too integral to the show. But no, no, we are building a full blown physical set that the show will take place on from here on in.

[Ethan Klein]

Our biggest investment, our biggest set. You guys better like it because it's costing a fortune.

[Tom]

Holy.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, shit. I clicked this button again. Zach. I didn't mean to.

[Zach]

We're getting a new set. It's fine.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, the microphone probably not going to change.

[Zach]

It's fine.

[Tom]

Oh my God. We got a 199 donation already.

[Ethan Klein]

Whoa, Katie.

[Tom]

She Said, enjoy your break, fam. Love you guys. Sven, thank you. Thank you. Katie, I thought we.

[Zach]

I thought we agreed that you were going to do it off the mic.

[Tom]

Oh, right, we did. I was here.

[Ethan Klein]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Love]

Here.

[Ethan Klein]

Should I hit the audio button?

[Dan]

No, I have a better. No, no, I have a way better idea. Put it down and stop going on.

[Ethan Klein]

That doesn't help. That doesn't help. So you get nothing.

[Dan]

That actually solves the problem.

[Ethan Klein]

Mallet, Is that far enough away or do I need to like.

[Dan]

No, actually, could you take it next door?

[Tom]

Are we gonna lose this when we move?

[Ethan Klein]

No, we're.

[Dan]

Oh, it's gonna be very chaotic. There's gonna be a lot of big boxes moving around and stuff. Wouldn't be surprised.

[Tom]

What?

[Dan]

Okay, it's still.

[Zach]

Still too loud.

[Tom]

Are you behind the green screen? Necessary.

[Dan]

He's coughing.

[Ethan Klein]

See, the report is on the screen now.

[Dan]

I mean, it was quieter

[Ethan Klein]

anyway. It's the last show before break. You gotta let. You can't take that from me. I'm gonna wear this as a necklace because I know you guys are gonna try to.

[Dan]

I'll still get that away from you.

[Ethan Klein]

We'll see. Yeah, we got actually a lot of ground to cover today. Wait, did they hear? Did I thank our sponsors? I did do it. Yeah, we have a lot of ground to cover today, so.

[Love]

We do.

[Ethan Klein]

We should pop right in.

[Tom]

But can I tell you, I was taking notes while I was listening to the last episode and basically one note is that you guys got a sound bite then saying, it's my rubellite.

[Dan]

When I made fun of Ethan. That was very funny.

[Ethan Klein]

I remember that. Wasn't that funny? Why? You know, I saw you like that.

[Tom]

The way Dan said it was funny.

[Zach]

I was thinking about that too because I made a mental note of that. I can't do that to Ethan though. I just.

[Tom]

It's not about Ethan. It's about them.

[Ethan Klein]

Zach, like you all of a sudden care.

[Zach]

My knees hurt.

[Tom]

Nothing to do with Ethan. And another note is that ice cream is an evening treat. 100 thank you, heroes. You guys are like five year olds.

[Ethan Klein]

You are lying. You're just a phony during the day. He's calling you a phony.

[Tom]

I never eat ice cream during the day.

[Ethan Klein]

We used to go to the shook and get ice cream like the day many times.

[Tom]

Shook.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, in Israel.

[Tom]

Are you talking about popsicles?

[Dan]

No, popsicles are definitely daytime.

[Ethan Klein]

Popsicles are okay.

[Tom]

Popsicles are daytime.

[Abby]

I will settle this. When is the ice cream man drive around during the day.

[Tom]

Are you a five year Old. That's what I said.

[Dan]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ethan Klein]

Seriously, you guys are really going to act too good to eat ice cream during the day? Like, are you. Can you be less pretentious, please? There's people watching this, bro.

[Zach]

Dairy during the daytime.

[Ethan Klein]

That's nuts. Dairy during the daytime.

[Tom]

I was going crazy. Zach was the only one. Oh, my God. Leave my boy alone.

[Zach]

I didn't order ice cream. I was against daytime ice cream.

[Ethan Klein]

I didn't ask you.

[Zach]

I'm just saying I was on Hila's side.

[Ethan Klein]

What do you mean, dairy during the daytime?

[Dan]

Galia says ice cream is night coated.

[Zach]

Yes, thank you, Galia.

[Dan]

And Galia is like fact checks, you know?

[Tom]

So, yes, it's.

[Ethan Klein]

You can eat it at night, nobody's stopping you.

[Tom]

But people watching tv, you're like, oh, yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

That's why ice cream stores only open at 7pm they're not open during the day ever.

[Tom]

You're not even going to the store.

[Ethan Klein]

Ice cream stores, not Ralph's.

[Galia]

Wait, so after what time?

[Ethan Klein]

Past 11. It should be open?

[Galia]

No, no, no, no. What time, Eli?

[Tom]

Is it like in the evening? Like in my personal thing, it's like, late.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, Hila. Like the hour.

[Tom]

Should Baskin Robbins be starting at like 8pm?

[Ethan Klein]

So Baskin Robbins should open at 8pm you're the Baskin Robbins CEO open at 8pm that's your theory?

[Tom]

I don't know. What's Baskin Robbins?

[Abby]

Guys, I didn't want to. I didn't want to pull this card. I used to manage an ice cream parlor for three years.

[Ethan Klein]

What? Oh, yeah, go ahead.

[Tom]

What was the hours?

[Abby]

Every summer in high school for three summers. I'm just saying we're open during the day.

[Ethan Klein]

Of course you are. Okay, and what were people coming and getting ice cream the most?

[Abby]

It depended on the day. But sometimes. Sometimes there was a rush later in the day.

[Zach]

But AB I have a question. When were there lines outside the ice cream place during the day or just

[Ethan Klein]

lining up for ice cream?

[Zach]

Yeah, they are.

[Abby]

Yeah. This place was at what time? It's been so long, mine's out the door.

[Ethan Klein]

Why'd you bring it up if you don't even remember?

[Abby]

I brought it up to defend you. I just said during the day. I don't know what time exactly.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen, Baskin Robbins is open. These People start at 10am People in

[Galia]

this office have seen me eat ice cream at like 9 in the morning.

[Tom]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

That's crazy.

[Tom]

Ice cream at night. Have a coffee.

[Dan]

Can we explain?

[Galia]

It seems unsafe for the children. Have you ever thought of the children Late at night, going to get ice cream or.

[Tom]

No, I'm talking about as adults.

[Galia]

Yeah, but what if you're lactose intolerant and then you're gonna wake up in the middle of the night like, shitty.

[Ethan Klein]

What is this person talking?

[Dan]

Tamara experienced mitosis over there. She's split off a copy.

[Galia]

This is outrageous. I really.

[Ethan Klein]

Who is that?

[Dan]

Introduce your guest.

[Galia]

Oh, this. Oh, this is my sister.

[Ethan Klein]

No way. That's your sister?

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Galia]

And my brother is also. His name is Joshua. I have a name.

[Tom]

I said Leora, but people clapped over it.

[Galia]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what's interesting? I learned Tamara's the oldest of the three of you. She doesn't give that energy because there

[Tom]

is an older sibling.

[Galia]

There is an older.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, but still.

[Galia]

But she's pregnant. Yeah. So basically she's not even a child anymore.

[Tom]

No, but Tamar is a middle child.

[Dan]

Yeah, I guess there is a bit of middle child energy.

[Galia]

There isn't.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Galia]

Oh, my God. You know what? This is awesome, because I've seen. There's always people like. Tamara's clearly an only child with half an ex. Actually, I'm not.

[Ethan Klein]

Actually. I'm a middle child. That's the damage you see. Yes, it's a different type of damage. Lay off the middle children. Okay, well, you're all middle children, but.

[Dan]

Oh.

[Ethan Klein]

Who's the baby?

[Tom]

You.

[Galia]

Joshua's the baby.

[Ethan Klein]

Joshua's the baby. You feel it? Are you the baby?

[Tom]

He's shy.

[Galia]

He's shy.

[Ethan Klein]

You don't have to talk.

[Galia]

No, he's like, help me, Zach.

[Ethan Klein]

Help me.

[Love]

You feel me a lot.

[Dan]

It's like having four mothers, pretty much.

[Tom]

Oh.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, you're the only. You and your. Your. Your PA are the only men. Yeah. I feel that. You.

[Tom]

You do? Why do you mean you feel that?

[Ethan Klein]

I feel that, but the opposite.

[Galia]

Right?

[Tom]

I feel that, but the opposite. Not you.

[Ethan Klein]

And I would just think of poor Olive and Hila in our house.

[Dan]

You know, he's an empath, people.

[Ethan Klein]

It's true.

[Dan]

Who else is an empath? Shane Dawson, the man on the screen.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, Gabe, is that true? You're an empath? Is that true, Gabe?

[Galia]

What empa.

[Ethan Klein]

Are you an. Are you an empath? I was an empath. It's someone who has incredible empathy for others

[Galia]

somewhat.

[RFK's Sister]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Almost to the point of fault. It's almost like you can't even carry on with your day because your heart just bleeds for the pain of the world.

[Tom]

I know.

[Ethan Klein]

Especially Oliver Tree. I want to send my prayers to Oliver Tree, who's been a great guy. Yeah. He has been. He has lived a great life. And my condolences to him. I'd say he's the best because he deserves the best. True. And I want to wish him well and his family and wish his family the best. That's so sweet of you.

[Dan]

Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Gabe, you didn't even say fuck once.

[Dan]

Yeah, it was beautiful.

[Ethan Klein]

I appreciate. That's a really thoughtful message. Tragic what happened to our friend Oliver. Still hard to believe, eh? I mean, it is, it is. It's like what happened?

[Dan]

I'm like, jeez.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, you've met Oliver. Yeah, you were there when we were boxing. We did the boxing thing. He's a funny guy.

[Dan]

He's a very. Yeah, he was a very funny guy. And that was a good time, wasn't it, Gabe?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, we did all this fake fights and fake rants.

[Tom]

It wasn't fake. It wasn't fake.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm kidding you. Don't spoil anything. How's that? How's the day going over there? It's coming up.

[Abby]

Summer.

[Dan]

It's good.

[Ethan Klein]

We got a little overcast, a little June gloom weather. It's June. It is. It was cloudy and it cleared out. It was in June. Yeah, a little June gloom. People always say June gloom, but I find it sunny most of the time in June, is it not?

[Dan]

It's literally gloomy today.

[Ethan Klein]

Let me fact check that on Google.

[Tom]

Gloom is a real thing in la.

[Ethan Klein]

It felt sunny to me. Weather, Los Angeles. I see blazing pure sun. Where's the gloom, Dan? Does that look like gloom to you?

[Dan]

Well, some of us.

[Ethan Klein]

Report is on the screen now. As you can see, the gloom is not on the screen now.

[Dan]

Some of us wake up at 6:00am and get to work at like 8:00'. Clock.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, of course there's going to be overcast in the morning.

[Zach]

It was raining. It was raining.

[Dan]

It was raining this morning.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, well, that's not that interesting. Yeah, there's overcast in the. In the morning near the beach. Congratulations, meteorologist.

[Dan]

I don't live at the beach at all.

[Ethan Klein]

It's a coastal city, bro. Grow up.

[Dan]

I'm miles and miles away.

[Zach]

I'm curious what Gabe thinks about the ice cream debate.

[Dan]

Oh, Gabe can settle this. Actually, Gabe, do you think that ice cream is more of like an evening like after the sun's gone down, like a dessert kind of thing, or is it something you eat during the day?

[Ethan Klein]

It can be both. Like after lunch you can have ice cream or you can have ice cream after dinner. That's fine. You know, it eases your body to have urge for sugar. And I have a. Sometimes I eat ice cream for breakfast. I've done it.

[Dan]

Damn, dude, you know how to live. Gabe.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what I'm gonna do just to prove you all wrong? Lena? Order ice cream. If you don't want it, don't get it.

[Dan]

I don't want that.

[Zach]

I don't want that.

[Ethan Klein]

Zach, you want ice cream right now?

[Zach]

Fuck.

[Tom]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

Good.

[Tamara]

It's 12 o'.

[Tom]

Clock.

[Ethan Klein]

Sounds like a good deal for me. Sounds like a cheap day for breakfast. I mean it's probably not a good idea. But I've done it. You know, it's not like a. You need a little sugar in the morning. You have to get it.

[Dan]

You have to get sugar.

[Tom]

You need a cookie. A cookie for breakfast.

[Ethan Klein]

If you have yogurt, you're right. Not ice cream. You're right. God forbid anyone have sugary cereal for breakfast. That doesn't happen ever.

[Tom]

That makes a lot of sense. You can have that for breakfast.

[Ethan Klein]

And milk. It's literally ice cream. Deconstructed ice cream. No different. You're eating sugary. Candiest substance in milk. Checkmate. You lose.

[Zach]

It's not frozen. It's different.

[Ethan Klein]

It's cold.

[Dan]

I don't like the sugary.

[Ethan Klein]

Wrong.

[Dan]

I. I eat old man cereal.

[Ethan Klein]

Old man?

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Zach]

Oatmeal.

[Ethan Klein]

What do you eat? Grape nuts. Fucking weird.

[Dan]

No, that. That was Ian's thing. And that. That was weird. That always pissed me off that he ate grape nuts. That's so joyously.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, that's. Yeah. I'm seriously. We need to get ice cream. And listen, if you serious. If you don't want to. Then you don't get it. Are you going to get ice cream?

[Galia]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Who's getting ice cream? Hands. And of course our guests are invited. Even love's not.

[Love]

I don't have to raise my hand.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes you do. You have to raise it. Love. You got to support the team.

[Zach]

Absolutely.

[Ethan Klein]

What flavor yours was up, Lena.

[Galia]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. So. So really you guys are on the vast major minority.

[Dan]

That's okay.

[Tom]

I know I'm right.

[Ethan Klein]

The stats. And you're not getting so. You're not getting. So the vast majority of people are getting ice cream.

[Dan]

Enjoy. What about enjoy your indigestion?

[Galia]

Milkshakes. Hila. When are those acceptable?

[Tom]

You know what? I don't love them. I know. I'm a weirdo. I don't love them. They're too heavy. I don't.

[Zach]

You can do a milkshake for lunch. Like McDonald's. Dip the fries in a milkshake. Milkshake is okay during the day.

[Ethan Klein]

That makes no fucking sense.

[Dan]

I don't know what to tell you.

[Zach]

No, he's kind of cooking with it. Thank you, Zach.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Zach]

You know, fries and milkshake, bro.

[Abby]

So good.

[Zach]

Delicious.

[Tom]

It's so insane.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, you can say that because you're gonna order ice cream right now. You're entitled to that opinion. Thank you.

[Abby]

Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Who's not entitled to that opinion is Tom, who has no hair. May I also mention that's true.

[Zach]

I used to eat ice cream during the day and look what happened.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not really.

[Dan]

Bald ass.

[Ethan Klein]

Hey, come on,

[Dan]

you bald ghome bastard.

[Ethan Klein]

Excuse me?

[Zach]

Relax.

[Abby]

I will say, though, not to be a buzzkill.

[Ethan Klein]

Why did you miss that? I was. Baby started talking.

[Galia]

He's really not honest today.

[Ethan Klein]

Who cares if AB's talking? I was literally queuing it up.

[Galia]

I'm sorry, that was.

[Ethan Klein]

I thought you wanted some privacy. Who cares about. Absolutely yell at like. Well, I'm not gonna.

[Tom]

Oh, my God. That was a weird one.

[Ethan Klein]

I can't recreate.

[Galia]

Was it real?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, it was a real.

[Galia]

Yeah, that was awesome. Let's see what you got.

[Abby]

I was just gonna throw. Throw out there that.

[Dan]

Let's see any gags before AB talks.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. If you see me doing something dramatically, if I wanted to keep. Be private, I will do like this. Right.

[Zach]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

But if you see me queuing up something dramatic like this.

[Abby]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know what you're doing.

[Dan]

I don't really know what I missed out on.

[Ethan Klein]

No, I mean, I just. I sneezed and it was like this.

[Galia]

It was good.

[Abby]

I stopped talking because I was watching.

[Tom]

You did like a sneeze curtain.

[Dan]

Yes. So you sneezed and the tissue went up and out like that?

[Galia]

Yes, it was funny.

[Dan]

Okay, so you just basically sneezed out in the open and threw it.

[Galia]

That's close. It was good.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you.

[Love]

Tomorrow.

[Ethan Klein]

No, you misunderstand. What do you think pushed the tissue up?

[Dan]

Well, when you just demonstrated. It was like a curtain, like flying.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, but what pushed it up?

[Dan]

The air coming out of your nose.

[Ethan Klein]

The air coming out of my mouth when I sneezed.

[Dan]

You don't think any would get by? You think I collected all of the

[Ethan Klein]

snot it's caught and when it's not.

[Galia]

When it caught it, Dan, it pushed it up.

[Ethan Klein]

Who sneezes?

[Galia]

That's physics.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, thank. It is physics. All right, I'm sick of arguing with you guys.

[Abby]

All right, Me too.

[Dan]

Anyway, we're leaving. Poor Gabe. I'm sorry, Gabe. Like, you don't have to sit through us bickering about the stupid.

[Ethan Klein]

That's not for you to say, Dan. Gabe, are you okay? You want to go or you want to stay? Whatever you need me. Whatever you want me to say. Otherwise it's the weekend, baby.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Good shit, Gabe.

[Ethan Klein]

Gabo, we're about to go on a three week vacation, so I'm gonna. If we say goodbye to you, just know that we'll be gone for three weeks and we're back and you're the first person I'm gonna think about. And the last and every day.

[Dan]

Have a happy July 4th weekend. We'll be off during all that, so have a. Have a good Fourth of July, Gabe.

[Tom]

Yeah,

[Ethan Klein]

15 day weekend. Oh, yeah, well, that's.

[Dan]

Yeah, he's right. That's more like 21, but. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, 15 would be more like two weeks, huh?

[Dan]

Yeah, we got a 21 day weekend. Even better, baby.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, Gable, listen, you have a great time out there. You're being a good boy, taking care of your dad. And we're all. We're all so impressed by your sonsmanship.

[Tom]

Right?

[Ethan Klein]

And happy Father's Day videos. Oh, thank you.

[Dan]

No, no, no. Right. Father's Day is this weekend if you need a last minute thing for your dad.

[Ethan Klein]

No, he was wishing me a happy novel.

[Dan]

No, he wasn't. He was plugging Uncle Gabe on cameo.

[Ethan Klein]

Gabe, were you wishing me a happy Father's Day or were you plugging cameo Father's Day, too? Oh, that's.

[Dan]

You're the best now. You're the best game.

[Ethan Klein]

I was hoping you wish me a happy Father's Day. Happy Father's Day, Ethan. Great father to two son. Three. Three son or daughter? Four, including you. Maybe part of my fam in that way. All right, Gabe. Thank you.

[Galia]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Gabe is on cameo. Uncle Gabe. Uncle Gabe wishing happy Father's Day to the dads. Yeah, I remember we spoke about this last week. It's 15. The price went up for dads. Yeah, moms get a discount. Dad's got a price increase. I get it. I get it. Oh, okay.

[Dan]

I didn't want to interrupt, but that felt like cheating, you looking at your phone.

[Ethan Klein]

Why? I was doing something new and it was mean.

[Dan]

It was cheating.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, it was just. I was just trying something new. Okay?

[Tamara]

It didn't work.

[Dan]

It didn't work.

[Ethan Klein]

You lose. Yep, I think it did work.

[Dan]

All right, Gabe, thank you so much. Have a good weekend, dude.

[Ethan Klein]

Bye, Gabe.

[Dan]

See ya.

[Ethan Klein]

That's Uncle Gabe, everybody. He's available on Cameo. $15 for the dads. Oh, 75% said they like the staghorn. 75 or 70. Although I will say the minority was very passionate. I saw a lot who were like, I'm canceling my membership of 70 months and I'm going to fucking kill myself too. He's like, dude, it's just a staghorn.

[Tom]

It's getting worse today.

[Galia]

Yes.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, let's should. Is it 30 minutes or are we still popping 21?

[Dan]

21.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, let me order you.

[Love]

So I. Before you guys buy the ice cream, I will say I order Swedish desserts for everyone because it's mid summer.

[Ethan Klein]

But you did what? Yeah, what's your Swedish dessert? Hold on, hold on. Sorry.

[Love]

I paid for it.

[Tom]

That sounds so cool.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, did you pay? When you say I paid for it, is that like the. The proverbial we or is that like love with a credit card with love's name on it? It's connected to his bank account.

[Love]

All of us.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Love]

My credit card.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo, Elish, you want to try this? A mint chocolate chip pizza?

[Tom]

I probably would if it was like midnight.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude, you don't please that. You're being so ridiculous. Order this for me, Lena.

[Galia]

Well, now you won't have pizza in the day.

[Tom]

A pizza ice cream.

[Ethan Klein]

You're not even up at midnight. Like what are you talking about?

[Tom]

What are you talking about?

[Ethan Klein]

I want the mitt chocolate chip polar pizza ice cream treat.

[Tom]

Is that having reception that I go to sleep early and I don't know what he's talking about because I literally don't.

[Dan]

Well just compared to 4am yeah, maybe

[Tom]

he thinks he goes to sleep at 2 even though he doesn't so he thinks I go to sleep.

[Ethan Klein]

So exciting update. It's an interesting timing to make this. A lot of you don't even know that this has been happening. But me and Tom have been working secretly in the background on something big official. This here is a official decree declaration from the per the rights of the Sovereign Military Order of Sealand.

[Dan]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Our sovereign Prince Michael of Ceylon hereby points Sir Ethan Edward Klein offering of the sovereign officer of the Sovereign Military Order of Ceiling. As sir. I have been knighted. Nah, we ain't doing that. I've been knighted by the sovereign. The King Prince Michael of Sealand.

[Dan]

Of Sealand?

[RFK's Sister]

Yep.

[Dan]

The abandoned oil Derek in the English Channel.

[Zach]

A prospering nation in the Atlantic. What are you talking about?

[Dan]

I'm talking about this.

[Ethan Klein]

This is sovereignty.

[Dan]

I'm talking about this right here.

[Ethan Klein]

That's not what it looks like now.

[Dan]

Yes it is.

[Ethan Klein]

Look it up. 2026, bro.

[Tom]

Okay. What?

[Ethan Klein]

A sir is a sir bro. Who are you to split hairs on that?

[Zach]

You don't have one.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, well, only it gets better than this, though.

[Dan]

Okay, here is a photo of it from recently.

[Ethan Klein]

What recently? What date? 2026.

[Dan]

Let's see. I'll tell you right now from January 2026.

[Love]

All right.

[Ethan Klein]

Looks good.

[Tom]

What is this?

[Ethan Klein]

That's my shit. I'll fight to the death. I pledge my honor and life to defend my great nation.

[Tom]

Do they even have a printer there? Like, how'd they get that?

[Ethan Klein]

They pro. No, they do it. They do it on the mainland. Yeah, they do it on the mainland.

[Zach]

So you're Sir Ethan Klein now?

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, no, no, not quite.

[Zach]

Not yet.

[Ethan Klein]

Quite. Calm down. Oh, knights are great. But guess what?

[Love]

What?

[Dan]

What's that?

[Ethan Klein]

An individual noble title. The individual noble title is approved and granted by our sovereign head of state and the royal family of Celand. According to principality law. The principality of Ceylon officially declares that Lord Ethan Edward Clyne has been awarded this individual noble title from the royal family.

[Zach]

What.

[Dan]

What land do you own? There is no land. There's literally no land in Sealand.

[Zach]

It's dry. It's not in the water. What do you call that?

[Dan]

I don't know if that's technically land.

[Abby]

You know what, Ethan? Congrats.

[Dan]

Structure.

[Ethan Klein]

Is it real? Are you joking? Are you really a snake? Does that look fake? I mean, I never know.

[Dan]

I mean, it's real in the sense of like.

[Ethan Klein]

Come, come look.

[Dan]

The guy who owns this thing says that you're a knight. I don't know.

[Tom]

What is this thing?

[Ethan Klein]

Knight and a lord.

[Abby]

Are you a count?

[Tom]

Is there a Cribs, like, video? Doing a tour?

[Ethan Klein]

There was a duke option, but it was actually really expensive.

[Zach]

Like 800 bucks.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, go ahead, Lena. Can he can. She didn't get the duke. Authenticate it.

[Dan]

You could have been a duke.

[Ethan Klein]

For I'm a lord. And you said, nah, I'm a lord

[Zach]

and a knight and a sir. Have you fought in battle?

[Ethan Klein]

What do you think? I do every day on the show against my own people.

[Dan]

So I'm sorry, if you are a knight and a lord is what is the proper, like, so lord.

[Ethan Klein]

So thank you for asking.

[Dan]

Order the hierarchy there.

[Ethan Klein]

So lord is obviously a higher title.

[Dan]

So is lord a title? I don't think. I thought that was just like, kind of like a general. No, like, you have a title, therefore you're a lord.

[Ethan Klein]

No, I'm your lordship, which is how you need to refer to me, my lord.

[Dan]

Well, I am Not a citizen of Sealand.

[Abby]

I have to do anything if you're my lord. Is she my lady? Like, is she also part of it?

[Love]

No.

[Zach]

No.

[RFK's Sister]

I guess.

[Zach]

I guess I don't see certificates. Do you?

[Abby]

I mean, I didn't know how it works.

[Ethan Klein]

I guess. I mean, you want to be my lady, or you want to be in on this?

[Tom]

I don't know. What are you? You're a sir.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm a lord. And a sir. My lord, but lord. No, Ab.

[Tom]

You're. You're.

[Ethan Klein]

You're not a lord, so you can't say my lord. You say me lord.

[Abby]

Me lord. Me lord.

[Ethan Klein]

It's my lord. Bro. Me lord is for. For peasants. Oh, it's not. Can you see it?

[Abby]

You know that hurts. Nate.

[Ethan Klein]

Or quartz? Well, you see, the report is on the screen one day. Can you. Showing it, Nate? I can't see. All I see. Beautiful ceiling. Look at that. That's me. And here's the other.

[Tom]

Oh, so wait. So you said you could be a duke, but you didn't.

[Ethan Klein]

It was like, 800.

[Tom]

It was 800 bucks because then I could be Duchess.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes, but you're a lord.

[Tom]

S. I don't think so. I think I'm like, lady, and then.

[Ethan Klein]

So you're lady.

[Tom]

Name of the family. Lady Klein.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, that sounds good.

[Zach]

That's cool.

[Ethan Klein]

So, anyway, listen, I know it's like a big adjustment period, so I'm not gonna get too touchy about it today.

[Dan]

There's nothing to adjust. I won't be changing the way.

[Ethan Klein]

But when we come back, obviously there'll be a need to be more formal about my new titles.

[Zach]

What is the nomenclature? Are you sir, Lord, lord, sir? What is it?

[Ethan Klein]

Lord, sir. Sounds good.

[Dan]

We ain't doing your lordship.

[Ethan Klein]

My lordship.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Exquisite.

[Dan]

Exquisite.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Your exquisiteness. That's not a thing. Why?

[Dan]

I don't think so. Your excellence. Is that what you're going for? No, it's your exquisiteness.

[Ethan Klein]

There's a lot of.

[Dan]

You know what I'll call you your exquisiteness.

[Ethan Klein]

There's a lot of royal flourishes, so we'll get into that when we come back, but I just thought it was really exciting. And Tom, he can get anything done.

[Zach]

This is the monkey business I'm up to during the day.

[Ethan Klein]

I appreciate that.

[Abby]

You got that done pretty quick. Tom.

[Ethan Klein]

I know people.

[Zach]

I know the right people in Sealand.

[Love]

People with printers.

[Dan]

Yeah, I mean, I are the people. You know, just. You Google Sealand and the first result has, like, a thing here where you.

[Zach]

Yeah, I'm familiar with Google. Yes.

[Dan]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Why did you become so you could

[Dan]

so become a lord or lady, A baron or baroness. A sir or dame or account or countess.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Abby]

How do you become a count? That's sick.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Galia]

Count.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, you got to learn to count first, bozo.

[Zach]

Ab over the break. Maybe you become count and outrank him.

[Abby]

Oh, no.

[Zach]

Or duke.

[Abby]

We've been down this path with Wikipedia.

[Dan]

It's not bad.

[Ethan Klein]

You're lucky you survived the wiki feet.

[Abby]

Yeah, I had to self terminate.

[Ethan Klein]

All right. We gotta move on now though. We have too much to get to.

[Dan]

We do.

[Ethan Klein]

But.

[Dan]

For instance, thanking our two wonderful sponsors today.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll say. Also coming on Wednesday, but I'll do that in a sec. Our camping video is in the final stages of production. Tomorrow's been working tirelessly. To bring this to the masses and we are going to be issuing that on Wednesday. So look forward to that. We've all seen it. It's quite fun. It is quite fun.

[Dan]

So you're saying that though we are going on break, people will still be getting H3 content over said break. Wow, that's incredible.

[Ethan Klein]

Yep.

[Dan]

What a deal. And how much will it cost to watch that video?

[Ethan Klein]

It's free, Dan. Wow. I know. We give it all up.

[Zach]

I gotta say, I was watching it earlier with Nate. I was laughing my ass off. He was like crying. It very well might be the funniest thing we've ever done.

[Dan]

Okay, don't set the bar too high, but I do agree it was very funny.

[Galia]

It's.

[Ethan Klein]

It's a whole ass. Like it's a whole sitcom we got here. This is a whole. You know, like this is our pilot episode essentially.

[Dan]

Right.

[Ethan Klein]

I think we could pitch this.

[Dan]

All right. Yeah, sure.

[Ethan Klein]

It's like a full 30 minute full episode there tomorrow.

[Galia]

Yeah. We don't need to stell it like that.

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah, I agree. It's better to under promise over deliver.

[Ethan Klein]

You know, everyone's about to be.

[Galia]

Yeah, it's.

[Ethan Klein]

What is. Dude, you're so ridiculous.

[Galia]

All my favorite bits got cut.

[Tom]

I can't wait to show them when we are back.

[Abby]

Yes, I'm gonna. I'm.

[Ethan Klein]

I told you leave it. If you wanted. I said you can leave it.

[Dan]

No, no, stop. Come on. I said.

[Ethan Klein]

I said I don't.

[Dan]

Listen, let's not get into this. Let's think.

[Galia]

There were some things I. You said I had to cut.

[Dan]

Oh my God.

[Ethan Klein]

What? Like slurs?

[Galia]

No, that's not a slur.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes, it is.

[Galia]

There was. Okay, that was different.

[Ethan Klein]

Sorry I made you cut a slur.

[Galia]

No, that's not what I'm talking about.

[Ethan Klein]

What are you talking about?

[Galia]

Like. Like the blood?

[Love]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Well, that's. We have to. That's YouTube.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I have to.

[Galia]

So they say.

[Ethan Klein]

Anyway, let's take our sponsors. You know what? I'm in the mood for a little relaxation. That's why I'm heading on over to Mood. Com. We love them. Guys, we got it. We can get you in the mood for whatever mood you're looking at. We got sleepy. Are you looking for relief from aches? You want to chill out, feel happy, get energized or have better sex? You.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my. Sponsored by Nate's daughter, who's the product of one of these gummies. See how much joy it spreads. Guys, we actually have such a. We have such an incredible offer in partnership with Mood at checkout. If you use code H3, you get 30% off your order. This is an offer that is not available anywhere else on the Internet. This is exclusive to us.

[Tom]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

So consider picking yourself something up here at Mood Sports. Com. Check it out. They got gummies, they got flowers, they got edibles, they got beverages, they got pre rolls, they got concentrate. I don't know what that is. That scares me. Would you like. It looks like crack. I mean, I don't think it. I'm sure it's not, but it might get you there. Might get you there, you know. It's not cracked though. It's probably just like concentrated bits unlock the pure power of these gem like crystals and experience intense bliss paired with a deep body buzz that only high, ultra high potency concentrates can provide. This is for seasoned users only. So there it is. 97.85%. They got it all though. They got a flavor for every mood. I know the ones that is a favorite here in this odd. This office is the. The preloaded. Where is it?

[Zach]

I don't see them.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, did they get. Did they get rid of the vapes?

[Zach]

Maybe.

[Tom]

I forget under what category it shows

[Ethan Klein]

so that you got the pre rolls.

[Tom]

Maybe it's in those.

[Ethan Klein]

You got the. I mean classic flat gummies are always a hit. And if you, you know, want to get a shirt, you can do that. Obviously you can't smoke that. You could. I mean you could smoke anything if you try hard enough and burn hard. Hard, Hot enough. Also you can go by mood. We got aroused. We got Sleepy. Classic, Happy, Energized, Chill, Soothing, Focus, Creative, Social. And you can shop by potency, mild, medium, high, and of course, what's not listed, the hero dose. Find at your Own discretion. Yeah. So go on, check it out. I'm sure there's gonna be something you're gonna love there at Mood. Com. And remember to use code H3 for 30% off your freaking order, people. Holy smokes. Support them. It supports the show. Thank you so much to Mood. Thank you. And thank you to Monarch. And now we got a budget, right? And that's what Monica is. We're getting too old to go be flying by the seat, the. The. The seams of our pants. Okay? We're pushing 30. We're pushing 40. Some of us are over 40. God forbid. We got to keep an eye on our finances because, listen, we don't want to be working at home to help buffet at 85. I've seen it. It's not pretty. You know what I mean? So that's why you got to get some. You got to get Monarch. Monarch is the best in the game at helping you manage your finances. It's got some kind of machine learning. So it connects automatically to your bank, right? And then every result, the data in your bank automatically categorizes it all into savings or categorize all your spending. I mean, rather like food, entertainment, clothing, groceries, eating out, entertainment. I probably said that whatever it is, it's going to break it up. And then if you could show those the flow charts that they automatically generate for you, you can see what you're spending your money on. And it's so important because we've learned the hard way on this show, you don't want to find out, you know, on a segment on the H3 podcast that you're spending half of your income on Postmates. And that's what the power of Monarch does. Because you can say, oh, my God, I spent $2,000 on Postmates this month. Maybe I'll make dinner on Thursday. And that's all it takes, right, is you decide, okay, I'm going to make dinner one night a week, let's say. Then you take that, you put in the s and P500. You keep doing that every week until you're 80, you'll be a millionaire. Probably. I don't know. I am a financial advisor. I have run the numbers. You will be a millionaire after 80 years. Look it up. Google it.

[Galia]

Yep.

[Ethan Klein]

Also, I am a fully fledged licensed financial advisor, code FD756, with the FEC that says my credentials. So you can see how it breaks it out. So it shows your income and then it kind of shows you basically what you're saving, what you're spending. And the other thing that it does, it's really valuable is it tracks your repeating payments so it can tell you trends. So if you know that you've been spending $20 on Stars every month, what a freaking joke that is. You remember when you signed up for stars to watch some like random show that a girlfriend you had 10 years ago it to watch with you and you never you forgot to cancel it. Now you've paid stars $1,000. Don't do that. Don't be that guy. Right? It's going to stop. That's why I'm saying when you sign up with Monarch you will save money pretty much guaranteed by stopping all these people with their Everyone got their hands in the cookie jar, right? Not anymore. You could set up saving goals, net worth goals, make sure you're hitting them. You get cash flow visualizations shows a large percent of income and where it's going is it going in unexpected places? Have your monthly savings quietly fallen as your lifestyle expenses crept up? You want to know these things. Has has Monarch taken the mental load of tracking finances off your plate? Yes.

[Galia]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean yeah, it's easy to get overwhelmed with finances and get financial anxiety and you know this really takes the takes a lot of that pressure off. They have weekly recaps that are automatically generated. They could show it's basically trends in your spending, spending spikes. You can see it happening before it becomes a big problem. You can see diagrams, flow charts about where the money goes each month. You know most apps tell you only what you've already spent but Monarch actually does so much more than that. They set up goals, they map out big things, purchases and they see if you're actually on track before it's too late to adjust. They also have an AI assistant that can you can ask anything about your finances. For example, how much did I spend on travel last summer? Or can I afford this vacation without touching my savings? That's fantastic. Spot things you wouldn't think to look for with AI insight. Has your spending gone up or is it just inflation? That's also super valuable to know, right? Get your get a heads on on what's happening with your money with the AI weekly recap. It flags spending spikes, net worth shifts and upcoming expenses and split checks without a headache. Monarch's bill split. Just scan the receipt and everyone claims what they got. Settle up, no hassle baby. Guess what? Use code h3onarch.com and get your first year of monarch of Monarch Core for half off. Just $50 guys. You're gonna save that so fast. Just on these rewards. These parasites are taking your Money. That's code H3. Monarch.com. get your first year of Monarch Core half off. That's just $50, guys. That's 50% off your first [e-mail] with code H3. Thank you to our wonderful sponsors.

[Galia]

Thank you.

[Zach]

Come on, now,

[Ethan Klein]

here's something. Did you make this a. The Goodfellas or Casino?

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Was this Goodfellas or Casino?

[Abby]

Goodfellas.

[Ethan Klein]

Isn't that like the same movie kind of?

[Abby]

Nah. Same director.

[Ethan Klein]

It's like the same actors, same cast, pretty much. Same actors, the same kind of vibe. It's like. I feel like it's the same movie,

[Zach]

different stories, kind of. They're pretty different.

[Abby]

Pesci's characters, kind of similar.

[Ethan Klein]

Mobsters getting into some trouble, you know?

[Zach]

Both great, though. Let's not short.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's not forget that. I think so. I honestly don't. I. I feel like they're all blurred in my mind. But here's our Scorsese moment here. So, Abby, did you. Did you edit this?

[Abby]

Yeah. I was just going through my old photos looking, you know, Oliver's stuff, and I happened to come across this. And I was like, what the hell?

[Ethan Klein]

So good.

[Zach]

Me dying.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, this is very good. There was Jimmy and Tommy and me. And there was Anthony Stabile.

[Zach]

How you doing?

[Ethan Klein]

Frankie Carbone. And then there was Mo Black's brother, Fat Andy, and his guys, Frankie the Wop. That is Frankie. Literally. And then there was Pete the Killer, who was Sally Balls's brother.

[Abby]

Yeah, but I didn't even need to manipulate the audio. I just threw it in there. There's no cuts. It just lined up with Frankie.

[Ethan Klein]

That was the faded Teddy Fresh party that Ian and Anissa flew out for. Just for us, who aren't friends with us, by the way, and barely know us. And then Harley ended up coming and Ian didn't want to. Who cares? But anyway, it's funny. Yeah. You know, get your shine, Ian. Grab your shine box.

[Tom]

At first, when I opened this video, I was like, what in the AI kind of manipulation happened here? And then I realized, oh, it's actual footage. That's crazy. So did you take that footage and you, like, panned?

[Abby]

That's how the footage was.

[Tom]

I just.

[Abby]

I saw Harley and Hila in the thumb, so I played it and the way it was panning just reminded me of Goodfellow.

[Ethan Klein]

So I just dropped in the audio. Yeah.

[Abby]

So funny. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

This is actually. This is exciting.

[Abby]

Absolutely.

[Love]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. There was a. We found an hour long YouTube video where it Just randomly plays Michael Jackson sound. And I thought it worked so good and somebody was so quick on it, they made a website, h3mj.com and so now we don't have to worry about running a video or audio file because they're doing it for us. Random Michael Jackson for Sir Lord Ethan Klein. Thank you. Respect. Already on their shit.

[Tom]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, they're watching. They're updating. By the way, you know when you fill out forms and it's like, what's your title? No longer mister. You understand.

[Zach]

So will you change your license to Lord? Like your passport? Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Sir or Lord?

[Zach]

Well, you have dual citizenship on your passport. You know, see, you land in the

[Ethan Klein]

us well, and also Israel. And Israel three times. Triple threat world. I'm a world citizen. So this is. Yeah. Michael for Sir Lord Ethan Klein, previously known as HJ Productions on YouTube. Thank you. So we're just going to keep this running in the background so if you hear some random Michael Jackson sounds, you know why, and it's fantastic. So thank you to. Do we know who did that?

[Abby]

It was.

[Ethan Klein]

We also got.

[Tom]

We just got some members.

[Ethan Klein]

Hello. Oh, you guys wanted me to watch this cold. I heard his voice from the other kind of across the room. But who. Whose brainchild was this? The silly voice.

[Abby]

Doctor, this is my feed.

[Ethan Klein]

We got members.

[Tom]

Members. Then do you have like a record of those memberships? Because I don't know how many they gifted. I don't know how to tell.

[Ethan Klein]

But there is someone, but.

[Tom]

Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

So this is apparently a doctor with a silly voice. Feast. Bit to bone. Bone. Bon Appetit. Hello.

[Galia]

I'm Dr.

[Ethan Klein]

Specialist Oral and regular patient surgery

[Abby]

at

[Ethan Klein]

Nur Al Salaam polyclinic. With about 14 years of experience, I specialize in advanced dental and surgical procedures designed to restore both the function and confidence in your smile. What do you guys want to make fun of this poor guy's voice? This guy's been through so much. He went to medical school. He went to dental school. And what, you just want to make fun because he's got a squeaky voice

[Abby]

and now he got kicked.

[Love]

Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Welcome to my dentistry. Why would you do that? Why would you include this poor guy? And you know how much. You know how much courage it takes to even get in front of the camera and make a video like this?

[Abby]

It just makes me happy.

[Ethan Klein]

Why? What about this makes you happy?

[Abby]

Okay, if you click on the profile, there's only four videos. Every video has like 3, 000 views. This one has 300, 000. There's something special there.

[Ethan Klein]

Is that the only one where. What the hell is this? Lady? I will steal the out of you. Most people.

[Tom]

What are you doing?

[Ethan Klein]

Like, I'm film, media and video thing.

[Zach]

Okay?

[Tom]

I don't want to be filmed.

[Ethan Klein]

Have to, like, walk away. You don't have to be on camera if you just keep walking.

[Galia]

Public grocery store, and I got permission

[Ethan Klein]

from the manager to film this, so just keep walking.

[Tamara]

What are you. Why.

[Galia]

This is a public place.

[Ethan Klein]

Exactly. Walking it. I can't stop recording. There's like 40 cameras in any of your social media. You. If I see anything, don't come in my face.

[Galia]

I will stew the out of you.

[RFK's Sister]

Holy.

[Ethan Klein]

You're nuts.

[Galia]

I will stew the out of you.

[Ethan Klein]

Dude, this is such. That's a solid bit.

[Tom]

I love that.

[Ethan Klein]

Is this the guy with the fat ass that's always making random like. Yes. Social media. Yeah, he's funny. He's. He's good. I don't know anything about him. He just keep. Always shows up on my social media doing some kinds of shenanigans. But that's a solid bit. Right now I'm filming a social media and video thing, Okay.

[Tom]

I don't want to be filmed.

[Ethan Klein]

You don't have to, like, walk away.

[Abby]

You don't have to pee on campus.

[Love]

You just keep walking.

[Ethan Klein]

It's so funny, bro. He's got every angle, lady. You can't escape. So that's what that is. Thank you. The Mormons love it, you know, and I love the Mormons.

[Dan]

All right, before you move on, let me thank some of these people that have been gifting, like footnotes. General with five. Thank you very much. We had earlier Sriracha in good with 50.

[Love]

What?

[Tom]

Holy poop.

[Ethan Klein]

Holy poop.

[Tom]

Sriracha.

[Ethan Klein]

Holy Sriracha.

[Dan]

Holy poop.

[Tom]

Have they ever confirmed if they are one or two Srirachas?

[Dan]

There's two.

[Tom]

There's two.

[Abby]

Wait, I thought there's one.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, what?

[Tom]

See?

[Love]

No, no.

[Tom]

This happens every time.

[Love]

Wait, there's one. It's one.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Just have two accounts or something.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Tom]

No.

[Love]

Okay, so the confusion comes from when YouTube forced them to use the name.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Love]

And remove the public little name that you pick. So it changed at some point. That's the lore of Sriracha.

[Tom]

Okay, so it's one. One legend, one guy, one God.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you, Sriracha. That's so kind of you. I appreciate that, buddy. Up next, we got some Gary Vee updates. You know, I'm a big fan of Gary Vee. He makes out with his dad. I don't but that's okay. You know what I mean? Some people like to have sex with animals. Some people like to make out with their dad. There's different strokes for different folks and it's not okay. My grandparents are first cousins. Yeah? Yeah. Really? Might explain a lot. What's your chank. What do you think about animal sex with animals?

[Dan]

I believe that I am going.

[Ethan Klein]

I. If I were the ruler, the benevolent

[Dan]

dictator of the world, I would legalize bestiality where you are giving.

[Ethan Klein]

Where you are pleasuring the animal. No, I regret asking. I thought that would be a layup.

[Dan]

You see what I'm saying?

[Ethan Klein]

What do you think was sex with animals? Don't like it. You see what I'm saying? You see what I'm saying? Easy, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, here's Gary Vee with another hot take for you guys.

[Galia]

I also don't wash my hands. Ever.

[Dan]

Anybody have any Purell?

[Love]

It's real.

[Ethan Klein]

Did you go to the bathroom today?

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Galia]

Did.

[Dan]

Feel inclined to wash your hands?

[Tom]

Nope.

[Galia]

This.

[Ethan Klein]

That's not. You're disgusting, bro. You. You walk. You wipe your ass and you don't wash your hands. You monster. Like, why are you bragging about that? You probably put your fingers in your dad's mouth too, don't you? Your grandparents after you make out with them. You got a twisted ass sense of life, buddy. You're welcome, bro. Same way I think about parenting is the same way I think about washing hands.

[Galia]

I think that we've created bubble babies

[Ethan Klein]

that are sick every day. Listen. No, we don't need shit particles on our fingers, bud. Hey, their immune system got fucked from the get. Pirella 2.

[Tamara]

Finished.

[Ethan Klein]

Everyone's dead with. Our kids are getting plenty sick, dude. Trust me, right? Wash your hands to protect yourself, Gary. You know, actually don't wash your hands. Maybe it'll get rid. The earth can rid ourselves of the Gary. The Gary plague sooner than later.

[Abby]

The flu.

[Love]

No shit.

[Ethan Klein]

Soft mentally and physically.

[Galia]

I really believe it.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't wash your hands, folks. Certainly you have to wash your hands sometimes. Commit to the shot. Tempo.

[Zach]

Hold your finish. Golf is a mental game, but you

[Ethan Klein]

can't focus if you're not comfortable. Lululemon golf gear frees your mind and your swing. With fabrics that breathe wick, sweat and block uv. Streamline cuts clear distractions from your backswing and your follow through. So whether it's the first tee or the last hole, your mind stays where it matters. On your next great shot, dial in your game. The same summer with Lululemon golf gear. Available in stores [e-mail], like, you wipe your ass, you wipe. You want to wash your hand. I mean, that's just. That's just discourteous to anyone. I'm sure he shakes a lot of hands, right?

[Zach]

Nope.

[Ethan Klein]

You wash your hands, Gary?

[Tamara]

Nope. Nope.

[Zach]

Nope.

[Ethan Klein]

Sound too proud of that?

[Love]

Nope.

[Galia]

I really believe it.

[Ethan Klein]

What about, like, I don't know, you're making bread and you've got a bunch of dough on your hands. You wash your hands?

[Tom]

Nope.

[Ethan Klein]

Really? How do you get it off then?

[Tamara]

Nope.

[Ethan Klein]

How do you get the dough off?

[Galia]

Don't wash my hands ever.

[Ethan Klein]

How do you get the dough off your fingers?

[Galia]

I really believe it.

[Ethan Klein]

This guy's never baked bread. I have to watch from above. You will be watching from above in the afterlife if you don't start washing your hands, freak. My whole life is about knowing everything about 13 year olds.

[Tom]

Mm.

[Ethan Klein]

You're welcome, bro. Okay, that's enough from Gary. Any thoughts on not washing your hands ever, for any reason, ever? Because you love your children, apparently?

[Abby]

Nope.

[Ethan Klein]

Imagine your son takes a shit, wipes their ass, and you know, kids are terrible at wiping their ass. When they first start, they go to wash their hands because they're, they're, they're a child. They participate in society. They're well, they're well mannered. He goes, no, son, no. We don't use soap in this house. Put your fingers in dad's mouth. He'll clean them for you. Daddy. Daddy will clean them for you. Sick. What a fun. What a family. Sick. Weirdos. Have we reached out to Gary to call in Zach?

[Zach]

Many a dimes. I tried a lot of outlets.

[Ethan Klein]

I wonder why he won't come on.

[Zach]

We could get his brother.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll talk for. If you're being serious, I'll talk to his brother.

[Zach]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I wonder if. Yes, I want his brother.

[Zach]

Okay, I'll. I'll reach out.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you. Any other famous brothers of famous people we could get, Let me know, I'll think on it.

[Love]

Yeah,

[Ethan Klein]

the Joe then. You know, the season's coming to an end here at this, but also the Jomo show is coming to an end. This is the life and times of Jimmy Lee. Of course.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

And this is the final trailer. So give him a shout out here, guys. Let's see. I decided to look up his alter ego named Jimmy Lee the Jersey Outlaw, a name which is displayed at the top of his music albums that he gives out to his patients after each visit. Here we go. We. We present to you one fucked up dentist, a TV pilot, Jimmy Lee, the Jersey Outlaw. Hey, I'm one up. Tennis, my boy. And I want to be passionate, all right? But tonight I want to be on the bottom, Okay?

[Dan]

I would never hurt a person. I just want to be noticed and have fun.

[Ethan Klein]

That's really all it is.

[RFK's Sister]

I get.

[Ethan Klein]

I guess I got asked to leave, but didn't figure it out till the end. What is Hollywood Monthly magazine, Jimmy? I've not heard of this magazine. Hold it.

[Zach]

I want to check audio.

[Ethan Klein]

Audio on Dave.

[Dan]

You have my audio?

[Zach]

When you go to the Drive in movie, you can watch it right here.

[Ethan Klein]

My mom was too sick to be a parent. You know, talking honestly. And my dad took care of my mom. I'm with cousin Fred having dinner.

[Zach]

Can you hear me?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I can hear you. All right, hold on, hold on, honey. What's going on, guys? Oh, my

[Abby]

God.

[Ethan Klein]

Am I allowed to use the toilet

[Dan]

before we go to our next session?

[Tom]

Oh, my God. You're dad with the black hair.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're getting your shirts next week. And even got one from Dan, who hates me.

[Dan]

I really do.

[Ethan Klein]

He has two pictures with Trump. Dan. He's histrionic. He has mental issues.

[Abby]

Do you still feel that way? Dan?

[Tom]

Dan has left the building.

[Love]

Yeah.

[Tom]

You won't even sit through this.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Zach]

What is that?

[Ethan Klein]

Where's the hairline?

[Zach]

No hairline.

[Tom]

Pinks.

[Ethan Klein]

Pink's hot dogs today. Pink's Ethan's, the best hot dog place in la.

[Zach]

They got all different flavors of hot dogs. Doing an ad right now.

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, no. That much. And I figured out instead of stop with the tomatoes. Jimmy's fighting.

[Zach]

Right?

[Tom]

That was chaos.

[Ethan Klein]

These people know what they're doing. So the Jimmy Lee documentary is out and people are shedding tears. I make people feel good. Oh, my God, you're so.

[Galia]

I'm leaving.

[Zach]

You're full of.

[Ethan Klein]

He lies about everything.

[Tom]

He's a liar, man.

[Zach]

I'm sorry I even met her. And I apologize. And I wish I never met her. And they were all mad at me

[Ethan Klein]

when honestly, nothing was done. Hold on, Jimmy, you're not being totally forced because.

[Tom]

So this.

[Dan]

This girl.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know her. None of us know her. We just know her because she somehow always gravitates to people that are close to. Oh, I totally forgot about this. Jesus Christ. I've totally forgot about this. Chapter. There is posted but by a new channel like 100 subs. This video has like 200 views from our subreddit. Beat it. The Jomo Show. Number one, the second coming of Jimmy Lee. Somebody Joe added together an hour long episode, 50 minute episode of what can only be described as a fever dream of epic proportion. It is phenomenal. Jersey Outlaw on our way to the H. Oh, my God. Holy storm. The Bastille. Oh. So this. Okay. Wow.

[Tom]

This is side view. I've never seen it, like, so sharp like that.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, this is never before seen footage.

[Abby]

He looks like he's in a coffin.

[Ethan Klein]

Breaking news. I shouldn't have.

[Zach]

Come on.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, no.

[Love]

Why did you show up?

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, that's pretty exciting. Yeah. So, wow. The final episode on Sex Days. So that's gonna come out when we're on break, so look forward to that. The Jomo finale. And we'll probably watch it when we come back too. So how exciting is that, huh? I feel like we never got to give Jimmy Lee a proper send off. So at least I can do this vicariously through the Jomo show. Since he's not allowed in the studio, he's been. He's officially banned. So, Jimmy, we. What an era. I wish I could wish you the best, but I'm not allowed to

[Zach]

hold it.

[Ethan Klein]

You're right. Nate says he got the send off he deserves. You're right. You're right. You're right. Lewis Sanderson buried in a box with deadly scorpions. No. Who put this poor man in a box with scorpions?

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

We haven't seen him shed enough tears.

[Galia]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Why are you in a box with scorpions, bro? What? What? What? Possible. What kind of. How'd scorpions get underground in your coffin? Why is there so much space in your coffee?

[Galia]

The.

[Ethan Klein]

So much sand on it. Golly, he's. He's really getting creative with these. Somebody help me, please. Somebody help me, please. Oh, my God.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, what was that? What was that?

[Tom]

What was that?

[Ethan Klein]

Something happened there.

[Abby]

Oh, the scorpion fell through.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, that was a scorpion?

[Abby]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Fell through. What?

[Tom]

How'd you understand that?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, how did you. I didn't.

[Abby]

I didn't get it until you rewound it.

[Galia]

It.

[Abby]

What did this.

[Ethan Klein]

So, hold on. He's underground in some kind of space, so he. Is he in a coffin or a crevice? If it's a crevice, why is there a scorpion underground? And if it's a coffin, why is there a hole in the coffin? Yeah, I don't know.

[Abby]

Sounds like some ancient Egyptian torture or something.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, great, it's out. Oh, sake, man. I gotta see what happens.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Stand by. Oh, what the was that? All right, we'll watch it. What?

[Tom]

What? Wait, no.

[Ethan Klein]

Why the. Is Instagram serving me like Kkk like no, nobody Instagram. I'm not doing. I swear to God, I am not doing anything on my feed to deserve this.

[Tom]

Well, this is not even your feet because this is the computer work.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, hold on. This seems like maybe an anti racism reel based on the description says the amount of racism I encounter on a daily basis is mind blowing. Oh, black boy.

[Love]

Oh.

[Ethan Klein]

What you doing here? We don't like your kind around here.

[Galia]

Don't you?

[Zach]

You know.

[Ethan Klein]

I see. Huh. But I think it.

[Tom]

I don't know. There's not enough criticism. If it's commentary, where is the criticism?

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know what's going on here. Oh, I guess. All right, you know what? I'm not gonna ask any question.

[Galia]

Every says it's racist.

[Tom]

Yeah, I mean, obviously, I think we can tell.

[Galia]

Okay. Sorry, I couldn't hear it.

[Abby]

Yeah, I wasn't responding.

[Love]

Sorry.

[Abby]

Tomorrow. Sorry, that sounded like I was coming at you, but yeah, I was just so. I think he shocked by Instagram.

[Ethan Klein]

I think he's a black guy. It's a. It's a self aware anti racist. But. But the problem is when he's got the hood on, you just don't know what's going on, what you're dealing with.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Abby]

The other day on Instagram, I was fed a page called like last seconds of before death and it's literally just people dying.

[Ethan Klein]

That's all.

[Tom]

Oh my God.

[Abby]

Every video is just someone dying.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what I want. I don't know about you. That's what I want my kids watching when they go on Instagram.

[Abby]

Fucking crazy.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

You know, in the UK they made social media illegal for people under 16. How about that, huh? Wow. Shout out.

[Tom]

Yes, please. Let's do that everywhere.

[Ethan Klein]

I am so down with that. What the hell?

[Tom]

Tomorrow. Did you. Did you guys grow up with social media?

[Galia]

Yes. Yeah.

[Tom]

Do you feel like it should be not allowed?

[Galia]

Yeah, I don't. I don't know why a kid would need access to that. The only reason why, like I would let a child like my kid have access to social media is only if like every single one of their friends has it. And then I don't want them to be like, on the house. But other than that, like, there's just no reason during like key developmental periods a child should have access to it. So you're saying you agree with that? Yeah, yeah, I do, I do.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

I think it's exact. Well, and then if all the kids are. Can't use it right.

[Tom]

Then you don't feel left out.

[Galia]

Yeah, yeah. Exactly. And I think it's also just like a safety thing. Like, I think I got my first iPhone when I was like 11 or 12 and like, I immediately got Instagram. And you just have access to so much and like, anyone can contact you through that and they know you're a kid. And as, like, as a kid, you think, like, oh, like, I know streets.

[Ethan Klein]

Do weird people come.

[Abby]

Do.

[Ethan Klein]

Where people come at you on. In the DMs.

[Tom]

Me?

[Ethan Klein]

Just in general.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Me.

[Ethan Klein]

No, I don't know. Just in general, I think.

[Galia]

Yeah. Like, I mean, there's just weirdos everywhere.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Galia]

Yeah. But especially on the Internet, when they can hide. I'll say, hi, sisters. I. Yeah, like, I definitely was messaging random people.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, so you were the weirdo.

[Galia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

You were the problem.

[Galia]

You never think you were the weirdo.

[Ethan Klein]

That's interesting.

[Love]

That's all happening.

[Ethan Klein]

Self reflection,

[Galia]

actually, I guess as a child, but I don't anymore. But as a child. Yeah, I. I was doing.

[Ethan Klein]

I used to be the weirdo of messaging people. I still am, but I used to.

[Galia]

I was in the weirdo. I was the child.

[Tom]

But I see what you're saying, though. You. Somebody would take advantage of that.

[Ethan Klein]

You don't. You don't understand.

[Galia]

Yeah.

[Tom]

If they were coming from the wrong reason.

[Galia]

Right.

[Tom]

They would. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Hello there, little Mrs.

[Galia]

Little. Let me see your supple flesh.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't. I'm not, bro. I don't look at me. I don't do any of that. I wasn't. I don't know anything about social media.

[Galia]

Me. Well, you guys probably get. You guys probably get crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't look at.

[Tom]

We don't look.

[Galia]

Okay.

[Tom]

Yeah, I have no idea of policy.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't not look through my. My cold dms.

[Galia]

Josh, do you message random people online all the time?

[Tamara]

Why not?

[Galia]

Okay, he is now he is on. He's the weirdo.

[Ethan Klein]

I think it's a. I think it might run family, if I'm being totally honest. I met your parents. They're pretty wild.

[Galia]

Also, I just want to say I saw someone said I have big chompers, and I know. And also the dentist told me that, and they seem to think it was a good thing.

[Love]

There you go.

[Galia]

She's like me. She's chat captured. Yeah, obviously, but I have a really easy time eating carrots, so there you go. Who wins here?

[Ethan Klein]

You don't need to defend yourself.

[Tom]

You're. I. I don't have easy time eating hard stuff with my teeth. I can't chew and I can't Bite into something.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, I mean, most people don't have trouble chewing. You know, you don't have to have monster teeth. Not that you do.

[Galia]

Well, I'm just saying. I'm tooth maxing. If someone were to have troubles, I totally would not. So sorry. I'm so sorry.

[Ethan Klein]

Sounds like you might have trouble chewing stuff and you're insecure about it.

[Galia]

Why would you even say that?

[Ethan Klein]

I don't even know why. Someone sensing some insecurity.

[Tom]

Oh, my God. It's also Juneteenth today.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

And wait. Yeah, you check in. It is.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Juneteenth, everybody. It's official.

[Tom]

I just realized the timing of watching that video.

[Ethan Klein]

We did it. We did it, guys. So back to the scorpion, though. Why is it there? Ah. Boom. Oh, there's several scorpions. It looks like even. Oh, my God. Dude, the guy is going crazy with the cinematic impacts, like, every second. Oh, no. Doesn't it. Oh, my goodness. Doesn't it attack with its stinger? Not.

[Tom]

What is happening?

[Ethan Klein]

He's dead. I know. He's so. He's dying.

[Tom]

Yeah. Okay, badass.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen. That's the death scenario I had never. I wouldn't be able to think of. So I'm just happy that he's. He's still doing his thing. Soldier makes the greatest sacrifice by donating his own heart to save the sick. But you have to be a soldier to donate your heart. Hi, son. I don't think someone alive is allowed to donate their heart. No, I think you have to do that once you're dead.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Right.

[Zach]

This might get claimed.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah. All right, Lois.

[Tom]

We don't need to watch it then. Not worth the risk.

[Ethan Klein]

Another weird RFK animal story. Zach, are you ready for this one now? Apparently, his sister's a hater, and she has the same condition as him. And it just makes me wonder, like, damn, Thanksgiving's got to be crazy, bro. We need a scene of the. Of them all at Thanksgiving, but the whole table of them.

[Tom]

She's a hater. But, yes, they. They still talk.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know.

[Tom]

But we don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

She sounds just like him, but she's. She' kind of dogging on him. In this clip, she's saying he's a psycho.

[Zach]

She looks really good.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, she looks good. She doesn't like you, though. It seems like she.

[Zach]

She was very beautiful.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, it's your sister.

[Zach]

As I'm well aware.

[Ethan Klein]

But you just mean that, like, in a nice way. Like, your sister is pretty.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. Just making sure, sir.

[Zach]

Well, the big. I. Listen To Dennis Prager a lot. And, you know, adult incest is.

[Ethan Klein]

You do want to have sex with her?

[Zach]

Well, of course.

[Ethan Klein]

Doesn't everybody have sex with her sister or your sister?

[Zach]

My sister.

[Ethan Klein]

She's pretty. I agree. I don't know if I want to have sex with her. Let's hear.

[Galia]

Hey, what does she look like?

[Ethan Klein]

She's on screen.

[Galia]

Oh.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, there she is.

[RFK's Sister]

My daughter is on.

[Ethan Klein]

She's. It's so funny how they both. They have the same up condition.

[Galia]

So it's just a. Is that. Is that funny?

[Ethan Klein]

Yes.

[Tom]

I mean, it is funny, but I

[Zach]

think it's really quite funny.

[Ethan Klein]

It's part of the Kennedy curse. It's like. It's not enough that everyone gets assassinated. They gotta also talk silly.

[Galia]

Is that part of what gets you off,

[Ethan Klein]

sir?

[Zach]

What was the question?

[Ethan Klein]

She sounds like you. Is that part of what gets.

[Tamara]

Of course.

[Zach]

It's wonderful for four.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, baby.

[Zach]

Are you familiar back in the day they had those beds in hotel rooms that shake?

[Ethan Klein]

Yes.

[Zach]

Are you familiar with those? It sounds like I'm on one right now. My sister. I'm going to explode it.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my goodness. So. What a good time. All right, let's hear her out.

[RFK's Sister]

30 now. So when she was maybe 4 years old, we were.

[Ethan Klein]

My daughter was. Hers is not as up as his, though.

[Abby]

It's enough to make me hate Thanksgiving dinners if I'm in the family.

[Zach]

Can he pass the turkey, please?

[Ethan Klein]

Could you pass the turkey, please? Robert?

[Zach]

Where's the gravy boat?

[Ethan Klein]

The what?

[Zach]

The gravy boat.

[Ethan Klein]

Can I pass the what, Robert?

[Zach]

The gravy boat.

[Ethan Klein]

The gravy boat.

[Zach]

Why do you talk like that?

[Galia]

Yeah. That's mean, Ethan.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes, it is.

[Zach]

You're making fun of my sister and I's disabilities.

[Ethan Klein]

So what? I can't. If we're making fun of him for it, why can't I make one?

[Galia]

What did his sister do?

[Ethan Klein]

Nothing. She seems nice.

[Zach]

He did nothing. She's a fine smoking piece of ass.

[Ethan Klein]

Come on.

[Tom]

So.

[Love]

Yeah.

[Galia]

I wonder if maybe. I bet maybe at least. There must be at least one person in the audience that has this condition.

[Ethan Klein]

Probably not.

[Zach]

What a smoking hot sister.

[Galia]

Yeah. What if someone here in that condition

[Ethan Klein]

come down with it?

[Galia]

No.

[Zach]

I feel I've met my maker.

[Ethan Klein]

God.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

God has that condition.

[Zach]

The fine woman sitting next tomorrow. Sounds like me. Did something happen?

[Galia]

Happen? It's not. No.

[Ethan Klein]

Interesting. Guess it's contagious. Let's listen to RFK sister, shall we?

[RFK's Sister]

I was looking in the garden and I found a snake. So I called Bobby. He just Lit.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at her. She's like this. I'm gonna laugh because this family seems silly. You know what I mean?

[Galia]

He's holding it.

[Ethan Klein]

Imagine you bring her on and you don't know she has the same condition. And you think she's making fun of Robert.

[Galia]

He's about to like.

[Ethan Klein]

Are you making fun of your brother?

[Dan]

What? What?

[RFK's Sister]

Called Bobby. He just lived a mile down the road. And I said, there's a snake in the garden. He rushed over with his infant son Aiden in one hand, who was just a few months old and a. A bed sheet in another.

[Ethan Klein]

Where the. This guy got a bed shoot from? Would you just strip his bed and

[RFK's Sister]

run out with the baby, like, pillowcase in the. Yep.

[Tom]

Hurt.

[RFK's Sister]

And he grabbed a snake and stuffed it into the pillowcase while he was holding his infant son. So that was a little scary. And then he walked up to where the rest of the birthday party was, and he reached into the bag, and this snake was just chomping on his hand. And he pulled out the snake to show the kids. Then there was a vole, which looked like a combination of a mole and a mouse. And he grabbed that with his hand and he put it into the bag with the snake, which made all the kids scream because now they were afraid the snake would eat the voles. So then he shoved his hand back into the pillowcase and grabbed the snake, which chomped on him a few more times. Then we went over to his house a mile away. There were tons of kids in the swimming pool. And he released this snake that had chopped his hand into the swimming pool.

[Tamara]

No.

[Galia]

What?

[RFK's Sister]

This is somebody.

[Ethan Klein]

Is this real? This is his sister.

[Galia]

Is this real story?

[Ethan Klein]

Why would she lie?

[Galia]

What is this? What is this? What are we talking about? What? He had an infant in his hand?

[Ethan Klein]

Yes.

[Galia]

He was grabbing snakes and feeding it.

[Zach]

I was? Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

And throwing it in the pool.

[Zach]

Do you have a problem with that?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Well, so at first I wasn't sure if she was, like, telling a story because he's cool or if she was trying to make him sound like a psycho. And. Well, she's trying to make him sound like.

[Galia]

Is that better or worse than feeding your child feces?

[Ethan Klein]

Well, he probably does both, if I had to guess.

[Zach]

I do.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes, you feel you do feed your infant. Have you. Did you feed your infant child feces?

[Zach]

I have, but I want to go back. She talked about a bed. She. Don't you Jews consummate with a bed sheet?

[Ethan Klein]

I think that's. That's a rumor. I don't think that's real.

[Zach]

No, it's fact.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, what does that have to do with you, Bobby?

[Zach]

Well, I heard bedsheet in Jewish, and, you know, I get erect.

[Ethan Klein]

Why did you hear Jewish? Nobody said Jewish.

[Zach]

Well, you Jews have sex with a bed sheet.

[Ethan Klein]

No, we don't.

[Tamara]

Yes, you do.

[Galia]

What does that mean?

[Ethan Klein]

It's like a dumb thing where they say, like, orthodox Jews put a sheet over each other, but I don't think anyone actually does that.

[Galia]

You'd have to spend money on the bed sheet, so probably not.

[Zach]

You just made the Jew joke.

[Ethan Klein]

Please.

[Abby]

I had a feeling that story was gonna go another way. I thought he put the snake inside the pillowcase.

[Ethan Klein]

Whatever. And then I did beat the out

[Abby]

of that snake, and I.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, it's even weird he threw that children.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Who are swimming in a pool.

[Abby]

It could be both. Could have beat it to death and then thought it'd be funny to scare the kids with it. Just saying. Sounds like him.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what sounds like him?

[Galia]

Can all snakes swim?

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know if all snakes can this one. I'm not a park ranger. I don't know.

[Abby]

You can float.

[Zach]

I can't swim.

[Abby]

Instead.

[Ethan Klein]

You cannot swim.

[Zach]

No, I can't.

[Ethan Klein]

Did you know that the Wuhan flew or the. Sorry, they don't call that at that. Oh, I got it. That's. I mean, actually, they do think it did come from that lab now. But regardless, Covid, did you know Ashkenazi Jews are immune to it?

[Zach]

That's a fact. Same with the Chinese.

[Ethan Klein]

What does that mean, sir?

[Zach]

That means what? It means. There's a pure bloodline that the Jews have conquered in the world, and they are going to take over.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, is that good or bad?

[Zach]

Horrible.

[Ethan Klein]

It's horrible. Okay. All right. Well, anyway, let's hear how she lands this.

[RFK's Sister]

Who on the one hand, has a fascination with nature, and on the other hand has, you know, a lack of judgment when it comes to the safety and care of children and of. And so is this the person who you want running hhs?

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, no. And also, she just got go zarded. Yo. This is a man of low character. His sister just threw him to the pool and he's a snake. She just threw him into the pool. Right. You know, you don't with that.

[Galia]

No, I do. I do.

[Ethan Klein]

That is pretty sassy, though, for. Yeah, she's like, my brother's insane. Yeah, he's going to kill a children. I mean, also, she's right. Sir, how do you feel about your own sister coming out against you?

[Zach]

Slaughter all the kids.

[Ethan Klein]

So she's right. You're basically saying she's right.

[Zach]

I've never denied anything that my sister has said. I'm just distracted by her wonderful bosom.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, God, you can't even see her bosom as you can.

[Zach]

You just gotta look closely.

[RFK's Sister]

And then he walked up to where

[Ethan Klein]

the rest she's wearing. She's dressed like entirely appropriately and conservatively

[Zach]

well, in the Kennedy family. This is risque.

[Ethan Klein]

Ben Affleck. Benny Affleck just gifted five. How about that, huh? Ben Affleck in chat.

[Tom]

Oh, wow.

[Love]

It's me.

[Galia]

He's always so moody.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Okay, well, so I get. I'm just hearing this for the first time. Apparently RFK is insane.

[Zach]

You're hearing that just for the first time.

[Ethan Klein]

We've got to do something. I didn't realize.

[Zach]

I also want to wish you all a wonderful break.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, thank you, sir. I appreciate that.

[Zach]

You're welcome.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you have any plans over the break? I guess you're probably still going to be working at the government, huh?

[Zach]

I'll be working at the government and I'm also going to be studying the Torah.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, are you. Are you thinking of converting?

[Zach]

Well, kinda. I need to learn more about my enemy, apparently.

[Ethan Klein]

You should read the Talmud. That's what all the anti Semites say the good is.

[Zach]

Let me write that down in my notes.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, the Talmud, Apparently. Dan Blizarian. It might be a good resource for you.

[Zach]

I will chat with him.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, yeah. You guys might have a lot in common. Lindsay has 10 gifted subbies. Thank you, Lindsay. Well, there it is. Oh, you know what? They sound kind of like spongebob. Resemblance. SpongeBob is a Kennedy.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

And finally at the top. We've got just way too much stuff here, guys. Way too much fun. Luke Belmar, you know, I love him. He's one of the gurus, one of the greats. This is the guy who told that story about how he's like, I had dinner with Tristan Tate got Johnny Walker. I forget how it went, but he's just a total fucking loser. And by that I mean winner. He's so. This seems like a bit, but he's not. We were drinking when I was drinking and like, I was. It was crazy. Yeah, it sounds crazy. You were drinking with Andy.

[Tamara]

It was crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

That's sick, bro. That does sound crazy.

[Dan]

With Tristan Tate and we were drinking.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, we were drinking and yeah, like I was.

[Tamara]

It was crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

Crazy. Dude, that's sick that you were drinking with him. Was Andrew there? I was just tape. I was With Tristan Tate. Oh, here it is. Check it out. This guy knows what the. He's example.

[Dan]

Tristan pulled up a video.

[Ethan Klein]

His favorite whiskey, Johnny Walker. What do I do at Duty Free Johnny Walker that night, sipping the Johnny Walker in the war room by myself with him chilling.

[Dan]

Why?

[Ethan Klein]

I studied, bro.

[Dan]

I knew what he liked.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, this guy's paying attention. Is this really high level advice? Find out what your friends like and bring them thoughtful gifts. That seems like, you know, pretty basic. You don't have. I don't need a chorus for that. But anyway, so he. He's doing a seminar to a bunch of old people like, what the. Who are these people? And what is going on here? God, his outfit is crazy, too. Sleeveless with a Gucci scarf. Like, brother, if you're cold, why are. Where are your sleeves? I mean, if you're cold, the sleeves. The order of operation would be sleeves, then scarf, presumably. Am I wrong?

[Tom]

I think you are wrong, because scarf is just clearly for. It was crazy aesthetics.

[Ethan Klein]

I get it. But it looks dumb if you don't have sleeves.

[Tom]

It absolutely does.

[Ethan Klein]

That's just my take. But what do I know? This is a game of who's actually intentional. So just.

[Tom]

I mean, this scarf is not going to keep you warm anyway. It's like.

[Ethan Klein]

It's like kind of an auntie scarf. I'm being honest. My boy's dressed like the. Like an auntie. It's got a little bag, a cute scarf. His. His arms are out. My boy's looking cute up there. So just now, as we watch through this, people are paying, presumably, a lot of money for this. Okay.

[Tom]

I find that so confusing.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen to what he says. Oh, Instagram. There's a bug where.

[Dan]

When I pause. Oh, God.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo, what's happening?

[Tom]

I think we've done it.

[Galia]

I'm American.

[Tom]

Could you help me fit in?

[Ethan Klein]

No, nobody's helping you, dude. There's a bug where when I pause it, it just gets stuck and it just stutters.

[Dan]

Example. Tristan pulled up a video.

[Ethan Klein]

His favorite whiskey, Johnny Walker. What do I do it? God damn it, dude. All right, here it is. If you can find a link on shorts, it's better because I can actually pause there without.

[Abby]

Okay, let me look.

[Ethan Klein]

Wanting to kill myself. Thank you. This is a game of who's actually intentional. Who's intentional, not who's pretending. Who's pretending to be a business owner. And then just around. If you have intention of creating long form that is designed to have longevity. It's called Evergreen Content. Evergreen. Evergreen Content. Anyone heard of Evergreen? It's something that I can post in 20 years. Just like you can hear Martin Luther King Jr. Speech so many years later and it still works.

[Love]

Why?

[Ethan Klein]

Because it's what, evergreen? Like Martin Luther King? Well, I mean, it's not. I mean, they did it though, so I guess. I guess it's still evergreen. But I mean. Okay, I'll give him that one. It's a good speech. Still hits.

[Dan]

So all you have to do is be as good of a. Yeah, you just have to be as talented and charismatic as Martin Luther King Jr. That's all.

[Tom]

Who are these people?

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know. They're taking notes. But look. What did you write down? Evergreen. Intentional. What the fuck does intent. Like that is the most bizarre nothing advice ever. That's all this shit is. It's like Tony Robbins.

[Zach]

You need to be intentional.

[Ethan Klein]

$7,000 to come to my exam need to be intentional. What does that mean?

[Zach]

I don't know. Google it.

[Ethan Klein]

The Bible is the probably. It's completely not evergreen. I mean, it's been changed so many times, so many different editions of the Bible. You know, Mormons, they. Well, I guess the Mormon Bible is different. But like, the Bible says, like, you know, you. If your daughter gets raped, you can trade her back for goats or some. Like, that's not evergreen advice. Like, I don't know, it says all kinds of crazy in there. Like, that's not evergreen advice. It's just bad. That's just bad advice. You know, she's worth more than a couple goats by today's standard. Like, they're not accounting for inflation at all.

[Tom]

Damaged.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dan]

That's thousands of years ago. It's probably like a whole herd of goats now.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. At least.

[Love]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't even know if you can. Goats don't even, like, currency wise. I'm looking at cows.

[Tom]

So do we think these people are. I saw somebody say that in chat. I am wondering also.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, keep watching.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Still don't apply in the Bible. Human nature has changed.

[Tom]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

So now they're just here. Evergreen. So. So now they're just pivoted to talking about how the Bible's dope. But that's. I don't see how that helps start a religion. I never saw the guy. I never saw the guy. But it makes sense. Okay. Just like your content. You don't need to see it, but it needs to. Your advice doesn't make sense, bro. You want your content that's willing to sacrifice to crucify itself for your sins. Does that make sense? No. Ooh, I got Me a ice cream pizza. What a fucking thing. This is all for me, by the way. Oh, you want one of these slices? Hila. We're sharing this, right?

[Tom]

You didn't order with a lot of people.

[Ethan Klein]

No. Everyone's talking shit. This is my pie.

[Tom]

That is so crazy. I don't think I can even bite into that. Like, how do you eat that? Yeah, that's crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

The crust is strong.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

You want a piece of this, Tom?

[Zach]

Yes. Absolutely not. I stand strong. I'm eating miso salmon. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Ethan Klein]

The press is really good. Very chewy. Try a bite.

[Tom]

I honestly, this doesn't work well for me. Biting into something so cold doesn't work for me. I don't have limitations.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm gonna put this in the freezer. I think the kids will go crazy for this.

[Love]

My Swedish cake is here too, if anyone wants something more distinguished.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Dan]

Yeah, I would absolutely love something. Ice cream pizza.

[Ethan Klein]

This is working for me.

[Zach]

Oh, yes.

[Ethan Klein]

You like that, Tom? You can have a bite.

[Zach]

Zach is so good.

[Galia]

Shout out.

[Zach]

Oh, yes. Yes. No, no.

[Dan]

He said he's good.

[Zach]

He's eating. I'm good.

[Dan]

I'm eating miso salmon and mint chocolate chip ice cream.

[Zach]

Mint chocolate chip ice cream pizza at 1 o' clock while I'm eating lunch.

[Ethan Klein]

God forbid. It's 1pm how can you eat ice cream at a time like this?

[Zach]

Exactly before 5pm?

[Dan]

It's insane. So it's like a. It's a cold, gloomy day, despite what you said.

[Zach]

Yeah, it's not even hot. Exactly, Dan.

[Tom]

So somebody asked, are they also moving from this building or is it just a new set? It's actually both.

[Dan]

It's both. It's both at once.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my goodness. Love.

[Tom]

It's a big move.

[Ethan Klein]

Is this a Swedish bakery? Oh, it's unbuffable view.

[Tom]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm going to freeze this. That's sweet. Super good.

[Tom]

Take it to the freezer.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes, please.

[Dan]

You even eat a whole slice? Couldn't have been that good.

[Ethan Klein]

It was good.

[RFK's Sister]

You hater.

[Ethan Klein]

You hater.

[Dan]

I think you were faking.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God. Dude, that looks like a.

[Dan]

See, that's a genuine reaction.

[Love]

Is this Mike?

[Dan]

Wow.

[Love]

Yeah. So this is not super accurate. They didn't. It's in the. The summer. We usually eat strawberry.

[Ethan Klein]

Can they see it?

[Love]

Yeah, I think so. We usually eat the strawberry cake, but they had this, which is very Swedish. It's a princess cake.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, thank you for saying that about me.

[Love]

Yeah. It's for you.

[Ethan Klein]

Who's the princess? Me. Right?

[Love]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Nice.

[Dan]

Thought you were just a lord or some. It literally says it right there. Sir Ethan Klein, you are not a princess.

[Ethan Klein]

What is on the screen? Not officially.

[Dan]

It is on the screen.

[Ethan Klein]

Put us on the screen now. Okay, so this is getting sliced up.

[Love]

I guess so.

[Dan]

I guess so.

[Ethan Klein]

We have a marzipan exterior.

[Love]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Which every.

[Love]

Everyone doesn't like. I know, it's pretty. Like a pretty.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you like marzipan? Is that a Swedish. Is that a very Swedish treat? Ooh, creamy inside, eh?

[Love]

Yeah. So there's cream.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll take a much smaller slice than that. Holy.

[Tom]

Oh, he's gonna like that.

[Ethan Klein]

You know that has cream inside.

[Galia]

You only like a cream filled.

[Dan]

You're gonna love that. Cream filled.

[Ethan Klein]

That actually looks so good. Look at that.

[Dan]

So nasty.

[Galia]

Ew, Nasty.

[Ethan Klein]

You only like the cream cake. It's a cake.

[Love]

Here, bro. You can get the rose. We give this to the kids for the princess. She's a child and I find a lot of American, like, get cake.

[Galia]

I can't hear proper.

[Love]

It's like very thick and dense. Oh, we make it fluffier and kind

[Ethan Klein]

of like an angel cake.

[Love]

Maybe, maybe, maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I wouldn't know.

[Ethan Klein]

I need a do. What? Do I have a utensil?

[Love]

It's just such a thick load on top.

[Ethan Klein]

Nasty. Let me see what we're talking right here.

[Love]

I've never had it from this cafe, so I wouldn't know if it's looking.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, you know what I like. It's not super sweet.

[Love]

No, no, no. That's a very American cake thing. It's supposed to be very fluffy. Oh, sorry. I did not bring an extra one. I took the plate that I was gonna get.

[Ethan Klein]

This is for me and love only.

[Love]

I got two.

[Ethan Klein]

This is legit.

[Love]

This is really freaking legit.

[Dan]

This is good.

[Ethan Klein]

I like that.

[Love]

So I guess I'll show you here. So you got fluffy bread. Yam. Just normal yam. That's the only sweet part in this.

[Ethan Klein]

There's no yams in this yam jam, bro.

[Love]

You're trolling yam. Is that not what it's called?

[Ethan Klein]

Yam jam. Well, yam, the only reason I correct you is because yam is something else.

[Love]

Right, that makes sense. And there's a small layer of cream. Vanilla cream.

[Ethan Klein]

That's not sweet.

[Love]

No, no, it's not.

[Ethan Klein]

But it works with all the other sweet things happening.

[Abby]

Well, thank you, love.

[Love]

Everyone. Come grab some stuff if you want.

[Abby]

Someone in chat said it looks like Shrek's titty. How do you feel about that?

[Ethan Klein]

Shrek's ball.

[Love]

And there's. I did also bring out a various amount of.

[Tom]

What is that one?

[Love]

This is a vacuum cleaner. We call it. And a chocolate ball.

[Ethan Klein]

A vacuum cleaner.

[Love]

Do you have the most.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, that.

[Love]

You can try the vacuum.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm just gonna cut it. Is it all the same through?

[Love]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

So I don't need a whole thing of this?

[Love]

Yeah, yeah. It's pretty much the same.

[Ethan Klein]

It's a vacuum.

[Love]

We call it a vacuum cleaner or in reality it's called Punchula, but we call it a vacuum cleaner.

[Tom]

And you guys do chocolate balls also?

[Love]

Oh, yeah, we love chocolate balls.

[Abby]

Oh, really?

[Tom]

I love it.

[Love]

See, there's so many similarities between different countries and. Yeah, this is a chocolate ball. We fuck with chocolate balls so much.

[Tom]

I love chocolate balls. Like my favorite thing.

[Love]

And the chocolate balls. It's chocolate.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, is this marzipan?

[Love]

No, not through. All the way through. Just a little bit. You'll like, fuck with this. I think this is one of my favorite treats from Sweden.

[Ethan Klein]

I cut it into quarters here. Ooh, that was one of those too.

[Love]

Grab it all. Grab it all.

[Tom]

I'm scared of going for it.

[Dan]

Mm.

[Love]

What do you think about it?

[Ethan Klein]

Is this a fika?

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Tamara]

Oh, yeah.

[Love]

That's like the fika that. This is super fika. I love it for life.

[Ethan Klein]

The cake too. Speaker for life.

[Love]

Yeah. Yeah. This is great. Honestly, I'm very, very impressed by it.

[Ethan Klein]

Came out good.

[Love]

Yeah, it's very legit.

[Ethan Klein]

Nice.

[Love]

Fika for life.

[Ethan Klein]

That's yummy. The bag.

[Tom]

I like the cake.

[Love]

Oh, good. Yeah. You'd bring.

[Ethan Klein]

I have way too big of a slice, though. Do you want this?

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, God, yes. Tom is excited.

[RFK's Sister]

Yeah.

[Love]

It is midsummer today, so. Happy Midsummer, everyone.

[Ethan Klein]

What are you supposed to do in midsummer?

[Love]

We dance around the pole.

[Ethan Klein]

With clothes. With clothes.

[Love]

And we eat a bunch of weird fermented fish. Not the. Not the super.

[Ethan Klein]

I was like, bro, I just got PTSD flashbacks.

[Love]

It's still very bad. I don't need it personally. It's kind of like a downgrade. It's called Sil and I think it's like Sil stream.

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Love]

It hasn't been in the jar for, like, years. It's kind of like a one week type of thing.

[Ethan Klein]

It's some struman, but not as crazy.

[Love]

Yeah. And we eat potatoes. Oh, yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Here it is. This is what's happening in Sweden right now.

[Love]

I called my family yesterday and everyone's in shorts.

[Ethan Klein]

Eh? Nice weather.

[Love]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And ironically, it was raining this Morning when I drove to work and I thought, this is perfect Swedish summer because somewhat warm, but a little bit of rain. That's a classic Midsummer.

[Ethan Klein]

You guys walk in a circle, huh?

[Love]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

You all get together and walk in a circle like this.

[Love]

You hold hands and you. You jump around.

[Ethan Klein]

Who are all these people, though? Who do you meet?

[Love]

Family. Just family.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, how come there's so many people at this one?

[Love]

Yeah, go for it. So it's. There's public ones, kind of like at a church or at a party.

[Ethan Klein]

Does everyone do it or are people grumpy and stay home?

[Love]

No, everyone don't do it. Some people are grumpy.

[Ethan Klein]

Too cool for it.

[Love]

Too cold for school.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you do it? Yeah, you have to.

[Love]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Most people do it, though.

[Love]

Yeah. Now they're doing the frog dance. I actually kind of forgot it.

[Zach]

Wait, can you sing it again?

[Love]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

What does that mean?

[Love]

Small frogs and then you.

[Galia]

Did you say small? Small frogs.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. There's some silly ass. I'll be totally honest.

[Dan]

Yeah, it's silly.

[Ethan Klein]

The sweets be silly.

[Love]

Oh, yeah. It's for the kids, you know, I

[Ethan Klein]

don't see any kids. I see all adults.

[Love]

Well, the. The kids are smaller.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, right. They are small.

[Love]

So it's basically the song goes. No ears. No ears. No. No tails. They have no ears. No ears.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. What's the point?

[Love]

We're just pretending to be be frogs, bro.

[Tom]

It's so cute.

[Love]

It's a good time.

[Ethan Klein]

You get winded doing the frog dance. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Zach]

And it goes quicker.

[Ethan Klein]

You go fast, fast, fast, fast. Like mosh piss, where people get trampled.

[Love]

Oh, yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

People get trampled out there at the frog.

[Love]

Oh, yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Few fatalities every year.

[Love]

Couple old people. Well, you know, that's part of the tradition.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, you get.

[Zach]

I was gonna ask who. When do the old people jump off the cliff?

[Ethan Klein]

Basically, when you can't keep up with the frog things, you get trampled.

[Zach]

And then who goes in the bear suit?

[Love]

Bear suit?

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Love]

Grandpa. No.

[Ethan Klein]

Is there a horror movie about Midsommar?

[Love]

There is, yeah. Everyone. Everyone's. That's what people. How people know Midsommar about.

[Ethan Klein]

I've never seen it. Why do you say like that?

[Galia]

I don't know. I'm sorry. I was just like. Is that.

[Ethan Klein]

What is your problem?

[Galia]

I was gonna make fun of you, but I'm trying to not. Because I'm trying to be a good role model.

[Ethan Klein]

For who? For my siblings today. Go ahead, say what you want.

[Galia]

I just was gonna imitate you. Like, is there a horror movie about med.

[Tom]

Summer?

[Ethan Klein]

You're not. Yeah, you don't. You didn't need to interject that. You're right.

[Love]

Here, try the chocolate ball, too.

[Ethan Klein]

You know, I'm not chocolate ball guy. I'll try it, though.

[Love]

Try it, though. It's banger. You don't with it.

[Ethan Klein]

It's a lot of texture.

[Love]

Yeah, it is a lot of texture.

[Tom]

I loved it.

[Love]

Oh, how was it compared to it?

[Tom]

Kind of tastes like a little fancier than what I'm used to.

[Ethan Klein]

There's more depth of flavor.

[Love]

There's more going on to mix just sugar, chocolate, and that's it. But sugar, chocolate, butter.

[Tom]

So my mom puts, like, little chunks of biscuits in it, too.

[Love]

Yeah, we don't do that.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Love]

And a cup of coffee.

[Tom]

I tasted the coffee.

[Love]

Yeah, this is a good chocolate.

[Ethan Klein]

You should bring chocolate balls for love. When. Yeah, probably leftovers.

[Love]

Yeah, let's compare here.

[Tom]

This one is kind of better, I'll tell you.

[Love]

Oh, thank you. That's very nice. Yeah, this is a good chocolate bowl, honestly.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, you didn't make it.

[Love]

My people did, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, my people did. Clarifying.

[Love]

All right. You want a little bit?

[Ethan Klein]

No, I am. I'm toast.

[Love]

All right. Thank you, guys.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you, love. How nice.

[Zach]

Thank you.

[Tom]

That was really good.

[Ethan Klein]

Let us. Sweet treat. That's love.

[Tom]

Everybody shout out Sweden.

[Love]

Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Shout out. You're going back there soon, eh?

[Tom]

Maybe.

[Ethan Klein]

Maybe. Oh, I. Yeah, we're working on it. Yeah, we're working on it. I got it. I'm not saying that.

[Galia]

Yeah, yeah, that.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

No, I like a little cream on. I like cream. I didn't say that I didn't like cream. We know.

[Zach]

Yes. Yes.

[Abby]

Chat is killing me with all the nicknames for your siblings. Tomorrow, when it was you and your sister, they said, that's Tamara's sister. Today, tomorrow and today. And then they're like. And now people are asking who your brother is, and they're like, that's her brother. Yesterday.

[Ethan Klein]

You ever heard that before? Today and tomorrow. Is that new for you? I've never heard that before now. What about you, Tamara? You can answer. It's okay.

[Tom]

I can record this show.

[Ethan Klein]

It's okay. Why do you think it's so hard? Yeah, it's okay.

[Dan]

I know sometimes it's hard to tell if he's trolling or if he just.

[Galia]

No, I just.

[Ethan Klein]

I give her time. Give her time.

[Galia]

It really, truly is always old men.

[Ethan Klein]

So you've heard. Yesterday and today. You've heard your sister's been wrong.

[Abby]

That's not what you asked.

[Galia]

You asked the Today, Tomorrow, No, I

[Ethan Klein]

said, have you ever heard. That's not what I said. I know you've heard the Today, Tomorrow joke.

[Galia]

Have I heard the yesterday?

[Ethan Klein]

Have you ever heard the joke that you and your sister. One of you is Tamara and your sister's name is Yesterday.

[Galia]

I have not.

[Abby]

Her brother's yesterday, her sister's Today.

[Ethan Klein]

So there you go. It's a new one.

[Tom]

Simple question, simple answer.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Galia]

I just struggle.

[Ethan Klein]

You were here very late last night.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

To run defense for you tomorrow.

[Tom]

Today and Yesterday.

[Galia]

Beautiful. Josh is the shyest.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you for pointing that out.

[Galia]

Sorry. Sorry.

[Ethan Klein]

Josh, why are you so shy?

[Dan]

Always leave it to a sibling.

[Galia]

Probably because he grew up.

[Dan]

I grew up with three older sis. Yeah, see, like that.

[Ethan Klein]

This is what happens with three Assertive. I don't know. I don't. I've never met the other one, but.

[Dan]

You ever seen Punch Struck Love?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, I haven't.

[Galia]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes, I've seen it.

[Dan]

You might connect with that movie. Yeah, I gotta see it now. Be like therapy.

[Galia]

You turned out okay.

[Ethan Klein]

He's shy, so I don't know if he's okay.

[Galia]

Are you okay?

[Ethan Klein]

Are you okay if I say I

[Galia]

feel like I'm not doing a good job protecting them? Anyway, let's go back, all right?

[Ethan Klein]

Let's get back to some real good advice from really smart people like Luke Bellman.

[Abby]

I was not able to find this as a short, unfortunately.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. It's fine.

[Tom]

Yeah,

[Ethan Klein]

they're laughing. He got. Look how happy he is. He got him to laugh. Never saw the guy, but it makes sense, right? By the way, it doesn't make sense. The Christian. I was just thinking about the Christian story. Doesn't make sense. The guy's the mom, the ghost, the God is Jesus.

[Dan]

God?

[Ethan Klein]

No, it's his son. So it's his son. And God and his son are the same entity, though. It's the same divine entity. So. So it's the son is his own dad. And his own son. But he sacrificed his son. But it's just a piece of him.

[Abby]

He's the son, but he comes back as God.

[Ethan Klein]

Right, but God's already there. It's his son. What do you mean he came back as God? He's already. After he.

[Abby]

After the. After he died on the cross.

[Ethan Klein]

What? God didn't exist?

[Abby]

I mean, it's not my religion. I'm just.

[Ethan Klein]

It doesn't make sense is my point. He acts like it's, like, so apparent. It doesn't make any sense.

[Zach]

Well, then you're forgetting the Holy Spirit.

[Dan]

Yeah, Right.

[Zach]

So you got the Father, the Son, and then the Holy Spirit.

[Ethan Klein]

No, I didn't figure it. I said it.

[Zach]

Whatever that is.

[Ethan Klein]

Does God know you're gay? And that's the other thing. He's gay. God doesn't know that. I didn't know you were gay. Doesn't make any sense. And then even the. The thought of dying for your sins doesn't make sense to me. What do you mean? He died for my sins? Like, so does that mean. So does that mean bad things are never supposed to ever happen now? Because they do. So he died for my sins, but people are still sinning. So what does that mean? Mean that you get to go to heaven when you die, even though you sin. Okay, what if you're. What if you're not Christian? No. Then you go to hell also. What is that? A loophole? You can just be like a. You could just be like a murder and you go to heaven if you. With Jesus. Like, I don't like that loophole.

[Galia]

I completely agree with everything you're saying, but feel like maybe we should have somebody here that. Because I feel like there are ancestors answers.

[Tom]

Well, I know Christian should speak.

[Ethan Klein]

My point is it's not that obvious, okay? If we're talking about Evergreen, you know, Evergreen is like tic tac toe. I get that.

[Abby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Those rules make sense to me. Three in a row. Is it true that was always trying to Jew people down, that maybe somebody

[Tom]

that knows more can call in and explain?

[Galia]

Usually dance around religion guy.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, okay. Explain the holy mothers.

[Tom]

I'm not really a religion.

[Galia]

He's not speaking up. So he doesn't know.

[Dan]

It's been explained to you many times over the years.

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, but it doesn't make sense. It's. It doesn't.

[Dan]

Oh, you're telling me you discovered something really profound here?

[Ethan Klein]

Is that he.

[Dan]

Wow, you've really found a profound insight here, Ethan. Wow, you've got really hit on something that nobody ever thought of.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't get defensive for the.

[Love]

For.

[Ethan Klein]

For theologists. Okay.

[Dan]

I feel.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't worry. You're going to heaven, Dan. Oh, this guy. Oh, this guy's afraid to go to hell. He's running defense for God so hard. Why don't you ride his dick harder, dad, why don't you write Jesus's dick harder?

[Galia]

Oh, my God.

[Dan]

I can't.

[Abby]

You know, to tie everything together. What I was going to say earlier when I interrupted you from sneezing. I'm sorry about that. My grandfather died eating ice cream during the day, but he was a priest, so I think he went to heaven. But that's a true story. That's not even a shitty joke.

[Ethan Klein]

Why would he go to hell for eating ice cream during the day? It's not a sin.

[Abby]

No, I know, but I'm just saying, like to add some levity. He was a priest.

[Ethan Klein]

So he died eating ice cream?

[Abby]

Yes. On a hot summer day.

[Galia]

Add some levity. You're telling us he was a priest? I do think that is.

[Ethan Klein]

And also that he died, yeah.

[Tom]

Whoa.

[Ethan Klein]

This is a horrible story. Well, he's dead, so how do you know he died during ice cream? Is that part of the family lore?

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Pick up the phone.

[Love]

What kind of ice cream?

[Ethan Klein]

Hello?

[Love]

Oh, hello.

[Ethan Klein]

I was just. You guys were asking whether or not we go to heaven after we commit sin. Yeah. Well, you can go to the church, you know, you can fester them to the priest there. But you have to be honest within your heart that you regret doing those things. But it doesn't matter what you did. It does you. Well, no matter what the sin is, if you 100% believe it within your heart that you, you know, you're sorry for those sins, you go and confess your sins. You can go to heaven. No matter what it is?

[Zach]

No matter what it is.

[Ethan Klein]

So you're telling me there's a chance I might see Hitler in heaven? If he was very sorry, but I think because he killed himself, he wasn't too sorry about what he did. He just didn't want to lose them. Oh, but you're saying there's a chance. No, no, no.

[Dan]

But you're actually Jesus. You know, I didn't know who was actually on the line, but I think Jesus might actually be calling.

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, but you're. What you're saying is there's a chance I'll be crossing the street and heaven, and I've got to say, what up? I got to do like, one of these to Hitler. Be like, you find a priest real quick, maybe. See, I don't with that. I don't want to go the same clue. Now, I didn't make the rules. I'm just calling you with the rules. But I'm just saying the rules don't make any sense, man. What rules make sense? Tic tac toe, three in a row.

[Dan]

That is the worst.

[Ethan Klein]

And O's block each other. I'm saying it's a game with simple rules that make sense.

[Tom]

Talking about religion.

[Ethan Klein]

He says, what rules make sense? Go on. What reals. Have you seen the AI robot play Tic Tac Toe, he can't even follow the rules. If robots can't follow the rules, we can. What AI are you talking about?

[Dan]

Can you remember? It just cheated. It just went around that way.

[Ethan Klein]

I can see you in heaven.

[Tom]

Can you ask? If they were up to me, every

[Ethan Klein]

religion would be able to go to heaven. So do. So do non Christians get to go to heaven?

[Tamara]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

See, that seems kind of up, right? Like, because, I mean, I agree. Because how many agree? Like, like, everybody before God, Jesus. Like, like Jesus, like, hey, I'm back and I died for your sins, but everybody who died before me is going to hell. Like, what's. What kind of. Kind of game is that?

[Dan]

It's not retroactive. It's not a game.

[Ethan Klein]

It's the rules of God. You know, you got to take it up to God. I'm saying that while I. I recognize that God's the one in charge and he makes the rules, I don't think they're good rules and they don't make a lot of sense.

[Galia]

Sense?

[Ethan Klein]

Look, Luke Belmar is acting like it's self apparent, and I'm disagreeing. He's using the Bible's evergreen tic tac. Toe is evergreen, not God.

[Dan]

What is this?

[Tom]

Because that's just a stupid game. We're talking about the religion.

[Ethan Klein]

No, it's. It's the most straightforward. Anyone can understand it. It makes sense. Three in a row.

[Tom]

Can you ask, how is he? How does he feel watching this show knowing you're going to go.

[Ethan Klein]

I can't tell when you're talking to your crew or when you're talking. Okay, I'm talking to the crew. One sec.

[Tom]

How does it feel watching the show and you knowing you're gonna go to hell?

[Ethan Klein]

Are you a Christian? I'm Catholic. You're Catholic? So. So. And you're a fan of the show? Very swollen.

[RFK's Sister]

Correct.

[Ethan Klein]

And you. And you believe that I'm going to hell? You already said, bro, I'm. I'm worse than Jewish. I'm like a. I'm like a atheist. Is. Or like a agnostic? Well, I'll put it in a good word with God. Don't tiptoe around it. I'm going to hell. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want you going there.

[Abby]

I need you.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not about what you want. Your guy made the rules.

[Tom]

I'll.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll talk to him. Maybe he changed the rules and nobody got up.

[Zach]

Hell, yes.

[Abby]

Just. I don't mean interrupt.

[Ethan Klein]

What are the patch notes?

[Abby]

My guy says we can all go.

[Zach]

Let Me?

[Ethan Klein]

Look at the New Testament. AB says, if you're Jewish or Muslim, can we get in? So you want what, you want in now, too?

[Abby]

No, no, I'm saying. No, you already asked him that. I'm just saying that. I'm saying that Jews and Christians go to heaven as well.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, technically, me, I can believe in the same God. So you're saying Jews and Muslims let Christians in? Is that what you're saying?

[Abby]

Never mind Muslims letting Christians and Jews.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, the Jews let everybody in, too. There's no afterlife.

[Abby]

Hell, yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

For the Jews. Kind of like that. All right, well, listen, thanks. I appreciate you calling. I don't think it makes more sense, though, now, because I knew everything you said. I just don't. I think the rules are dumb and Luke is an idiot, not you. I think you're awesome. 100% agree that the rules are dumb. 100%. Thanks, bro.

[Abby]

No, you're going to hell now, too. Sorry.

[Tom]

All right.

[Ethan Klein]

Are you allowed to admit that?

[Zach]

Am I?

[Abby]

Oh, I mean, I'm like, we'll see you there, buddy.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't do everything that I'm supposed to do. I'm just gonna go confess all my sins. And hopefully, if you steal a Snickers and you're not sorry for it, do you go to Hell?

[Abby]

Depends if it has.

[Love]

You know what?

[Ethan Klein]

That's a good question. I've never stole the Snickers, and I've never won to pass that out. I'm really scared of hell, so I try to do my best to live my life to the best. Then why are you lying to me? You know I'm going to Hell. That's a sin. You're committing sin by telling me you don't know. Well, I'll ask for forgiveness, and then I'll be cleared, and then I get the. All right, all right, chill. You got it figured out. All right? D. Should I become a Catholic? It would probably be better PR for you.

[Zach]

You.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Okay. I'll look you through. Thank you, bro.

[Zach]

No problem, man.

[Ethan Klein]

I, I. I let you. I appreciate the call, though. I appreciate the call. Of course. Yeah. Thanks for explaining. Nothing. Got him. Rude. That's one of our. So rude. Appreciate him calling. So, Back to you, Mr. Belmont.

[Tom]

You know, I feel bad for all you guys that are afraid of Hell. It's not real.

[Abby]

It's. It's like, even if I consciously don't believe in it, I can't.

[Tamara]

It's like.

[Abby]

It's like trauma. Like, you can't ignore that. It's always going to be a Thought in your head.

[Ethan Klein]

It like, all.

[Abby]

No matter what. It's like, yeah.

[Tom]

Like, you shouldn't carry this burn all day.

[Ethan Klein]

This person who's afraid of hell.

[Tom]

I never even think about that, dude.

[Abby]

My grandma, you walk in, she'll be like, oh, my God, you're so beautiful. I love you. You're so handsome. Are you still going to hell? Like, have. Have you started praying?

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Tom]

That's so heavy.

[Abby]

Oh, yeah. No, especially Arabic is such a dramatic language. Tim, My. My cousin Tim, because he spoke Arabic and I don't. He would love to tell my grandma that, like, I decided to become a Christian or I decided. I decided.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Abby]

To drink. I'll never forget my grandma once said because Tim told her that me and my dad drink together. He just made this up. We drink alcohol together. And she said. She said in Arabic something like, the dog had a pup, and the pup outgrew the dog. Like, we're both.

[Ethan Klein]

Is she a dog or. Okay, you're. You're the pup.

[Abby]

She's a sweet lady. She just came from. Super strict.

[Ethan Klein]

And I. As I understand it, in Islam, there's no atonement. It.

[Abby]

No, there is.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, there is.

[Abby]

Yeah. It just takes a while.

[Ethan Klein]

You just got to put in the work. Eh.

[Galia]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Christians make it easy. You're like.

[Love]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

You talk to a guy, you don't have to see. He didn't even see your face.

[Abby]

Oh, yeah. Not. Yeah. In this life. It's. It's not as. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

You atone for the next life. Oh, that's.

[Abby]

If you don't do it in this life, you can put it off.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, That's. That's sick. Jesus Christ. I think there's some confession. Confession. I think Christians just have to pray.

[Tamara]

They're good.

[Love]

Yeah. Protestant don't confess.

[Dan]

Yeah. There's lots of.

[Abby]

There's.

[Dan]

You know, they're not really a unified front right here.

[Ethan Klein]

Some.

[Dan]

Some believe that, like, you. You go to purgatory. Yeah. Like, reform school, basically.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Like, it's a different thing than hell, but, like, so, like, you weren't bad enough for hell, but, like, you know, this is. This is the example that you gave with, like, you stole the Snickers and you weren't really sorry about that.

[Ethan Klein]

Go to purgatory.

[Dan]

So you might have to put in some time. Like, you get sentenced to, like. Like two years in purgatory. And purgatory is like, it's not hell, but it's like, it's not great.

[Ethan Klein]

What if you steal a Snickers in purgatory?

[Dan]

That would probably get you sent downstairs.

[Ethan Klein]

Is this like.

[Dan]

I think you have to be on good. It's like being on parole.

[Zach]

You gotta be good.

[Dan]

It's being on parole. That's the best way to put it.

[Ethan Klein]

But on parole, you get to be with the people.

[Dan]

Yeah, but if you up while you're on parole, you go back to jail.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, but that means you get to go to heaven. You're just on watch.

[Dan]

Yeah, like I said. I mean, purgatory is. It's not so bad. It's like.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know. I think this all just supports my point, is that Luke is a shitty teacher, you guys.

[Dan]

That was your point.

[Love]

Right here.

[Ethan Klein]

You guys know Evergreen? Write the Bible. You need to write the Bible.

[Dan]

And we were drinking.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, we were drinking. And like, I was.

[Tamara]

It was crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes. Sounds crazy. Green content. Evergreen. Evergreen. Evergreen. It's something that I can post in 20 years. Just like you can hear Martin Luther King Jr. Speech so many years later, and it still works.

[Love]

Why? Because.

[Abby]

What.

[Ethan Klein]

What's the number one piece of evergreen content ever made? This guy's even dumber than him. That's not true, bro.

[Dan]

Principles still don't apply in the Bible.

[Ethan Klein]

Human nature has changed. When was the last time. I'm not going to. I'm not going to atheist him, but no, it's not true. He's tempting me, though. Bananas.

[Zach]

The banana, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, exactly. You looked at the banana. Checkmate. Atheism. Hey, I just Venmoed you for rent.

[Tom]

Nice.

[Ethan Klein]

Now I can instantly spend it, whether I'm checking out online with Venmo or using the Venmo debit card.

[RFK's Sister]

Say more.

[Love]

More.

[RFK's Sister]

Exactly.

[Ethan Klein]

Because the more you do with Venmo, the more you get, like, earning up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash on a bundle of brands.

[Tom]

So order more pizza.

[Ethan Klein]

The meth demands it. Get the Venmo debit card. Venmo stash bundle. Terms and exclusions apply. See [e-mail] stashturn. Venmo checkout not available at all.

[Love]

Merchants.

[Ethan Klein]

Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank.

[Zach]

Na. Right here.

[Ethan Klein]

Evergreen. I never saw the guy. I never saw the guy, but it makes sense. Look how he loves this. Got a little snickers. He's like, oh. He's like, oh, he fucking laughed. He's such a dork. Is that how he laughs? Evergreen? I never saw the guy. Never saw the guy. But it makes sense.

[Galia]

That's.

[Dan]

Why is he wearing his bag? Is he about to, like, take off?

[Tom]

Yeah. What?

[Dan]

Like, aren't you in the middle of.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, he's in the middle of a heist right now. Once they realize they've been scammed, it's

[Dan]

just so weird to just like be chilling there with the bag. Put it down.

[Tom]

Crazy.

[Dan]

Who knows? You going to be here for a while?

[Ethan Klein]

So we have long form where you can invest and the reason you can invest is because you have a. You have a long term mindset on the ROI and there's no shit. Yeah, maybe it sounds like the party's being return of your content.

[Dan]

Go.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not about investing dollars. This can be time. Money is time. Right? Currency, Same thing. Money. Time is money. Guys ever heard that?

[Dan]

Nope.

[Ethan Klein]

Time is a precious thing. True.

[Tom]

So are they going there just for like a social media kind of.

[Ethan Klein]

Seems like program? Yeah, seems like it.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

If it's real.

[Tom]

If it's real.

[Dan]

What exactly does this guy know about business?

[Tom]

Yeah, that's what I'm.

[Dan]

What is his.

[Ethan Klein]

What does he know about cameras?

[Abby]

He's the founder of Capital Club. What is.

[Dan]

Okay, what is that? Probably the same shit, right? Like isn't that just some coaching thing?

[Ethan Klein]

Let's see here. They emphasize a content business distribution model based on building digital leverage, whatever that means. Digital leverage plus we involves repurposing long form foundational content into rapid high volume short form on clips to dominate algorithmic reach and organic. Shut the fuck up.

[Dan]

Taking. Taking a podcast and chopping it up. That's the translation for that, which is not an original.

[Ethan Klein]

You want to join the capital club?

[Dan]

Yes, actually. How much?

[Ethan Klein]

Welcome to the fastest growing entrepreneur club in the world.

[Abby]

There's a wait list, Dan. It's not so easy.

[Dan]

Well, let's join now so we can start the waiting. Sign up, baby.

[Abby]

I. I got it.

[Ethan Klein]

It'd be signing up AB dearborn.com.

[Abby]

don't dox me, man.

[Ethan Klein]

[e-mail] and check that get on the waitlist. You are one minute away from greatness.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Wait, the wait list. It's only a minute.

[Ethan Klein]

Am I in?

[Dan]

Oh, we'll just be in touch soon.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. Our story. I wonder why. So where's all the ladies at?

[Zach]

Oh yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Where am I?

[Tom]

Where the ladies know better than to listen to this guy for sure. Actually, I see a lady.

[Dan]

Yeah, there's a lady.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. I'd be scared if I was the only girl there. Hey ladies. Hey ladies. But instead you're investing that time or that money creating content creation, producing it.

[Tom]

Do what?

[Ethan Klein]

To create long form evergreen content that is intentional, that has what? A moat. What what is intentional? Is that the opposite of accidental? Are people doing accidental content? What the is that what the is intentional in content, which is the distribution. Distribution is done by clipping. Who here knows what clipping is? Oh, my God.

[Tom]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, I'll give you guys.

[Love]

I'll tell you guys.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's see how he explains clipping to a room of bingo. Wait, hold on. Is he doing like, community service for that? I was just gonna say it's like a retirement home. That's what it feels like. He came on right after Boythrob.

[Tom]

So when.

[Zach]

So.

[Ethan Klein]

So when politicians come or. Or government officials come come, and they say, hey, Luke, I want. I want to be governor or I want to be mayor. I want to be president. What?

[Dan]

Who's doing that?

[Abby]

And how many governors, mayors, and presidents have you helped put in office?

[Ethan Klein]

I'm so curious.

[Dan]

When is that what happened?

[Ethan Klein]

I'm gonna get. You guys don't know what he's done.

[Dan]

Why are you defending him?

[Ethan Klein]

I heard he ran the mom Dani's.

[Tom]

Really?

[Galia]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Big, big guy. Not very hard to do. I just have to make you popular. Like if you suck, like, I can't change that, but I can make you popular. I just have to call. So this is him explaining to a bunch of old people Eclipses.

[Dan]

Yeah, I guess.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you think they know what clips are now?

[Abby]

They probably think it's something political, so.

[Galia]

Right.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, clips is when you make. When you make someone popular to run for office.

[Love]

Right.

[Ethan Klein]

Hey, you want an extra $500 a month?

[Tamara]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Pension. What a confusing world.

[Dan]

Weird.

[Ethan Klein]

And then I don't know what the fuck this page is.

[Dan]

We need to find out more. I think we need to go. I think we need to go join the Capital Club, go to a seminar and get some on the ground reporting to see what kind of secrets can be unlocked.

[Zach]

Let's go.

[Ethan Klein]

Actually, that.

[Tom]

I agree with you.

[Zach]

Yeah, a little more.

[Abby]

I'm gonna write it down.

[Dan]

Maybe signing up.

[Ethan Klein]

He probably comes to la.

[Tom]

And Tom, you probably could use some lessons too.

[Dan]

That's a fact.

[Zach]

I'm in the right demo for sure. I could have. I could have been sitting there.

[Tom]

I could see your head fitting there perfectly.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, this was in la, you guys. You guys gotta get on it.

[Dan]

Well, he'll be back. He'll be back.

[Ethan Klein]

I would. Absolutely.

[Dan]

We gotta get love over there too, because it sounds like he knows how to run a social media account, which I think you could learn a thing or two from.

[Ethan Klein]

Luke, do you know what is your content Intentional?

[Love]

No, no, I just Click buttons.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

So it's accidental content. That's the problem.

[Love]

I don't know what the fuck.

[Ethan Klein]

Your content is accidental.

[Dan]

Every day when we go live, I don't actually know how I do it. I just open up YouTube and I start clicking. I just start clicking. And people wonder why we're late every day.

[Ethan Klein]

Because you didn't hit the right button.

[Dan]

It's kind of a crapshoot. I'm just going to keep clicking and maybe Luke knows where the Go Live button is. Maybe he can teach me.

[Ethan Klein]

Have we reached out to Luke to Collins at back?

[Zach]

No, we've not.

[Ethan Klein]

I want him to call in. I need Luke to call in. Well, maybe we should first we should go lesson.

[Dan]

Yeah, we should take a lesson first so that we know what to talk to him about.

[Tom]

That would be so epic. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

All right. Look into that.

[Abby]

Yeah, I'm on it.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, now we have some. So we have some main stories here. We got Harley was in a Mr. Beast video, and Jojo, your favorite hila, made a cruise, a Jojo Siwa cruise just for the girlies.

[Dan]

Go to Joe. Joe, I think you gotta watch Jojo.

[Tom]

We already knew the reason not to go on cruise.

[Abby]

Yeah. Harley is driving home right now. He needs some time.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

So Jojo, dancing queen Jojo, she set sail via Royal Caribbean's Utopia, where you could spend three nights at sea with JoJo herself. Starting price is $1,107, guys. Take a look at the promotional material. Oh, yeah, baby.

[Dan]

Jojo Siwa Cruz.

[Ethan Klein]

Adventure aboard Royal Caribbean Zootopia of the SEAS.

[Tamara]

Q&As, dance parties, build a bow, Fun.

[Ethan Klein]

A dance class with JoJo. And for the first time.

[Tom]

Oh, my God.

[Tamara]

You'll see the Adventure Infinity Heart concert at sea. Plus all the amazing dining, entertainment and thrills that the Utopia of the Seas has to offer, including a full perfect day at CocoCay. Don't miss out on the biggest JoJo experience ever. It's happening June 12th through the 15th. Go to JoJo siwakruise.com and reserve your vacation today.

[Dan]

Sick, dude.

[Ethan Klein]

You think I have the clout to sell cruises?

[Abby]

I was trying to. I was telling Dan for our.

[Ethan Klein]

Probably a lot of money you could make.

[Abby]

Make doing that for like a return live show.

[Ethan Klein]

Thousand bucks. I mean, that's got to be like a lot of. How many people, how many fit on a. On a Royal Caribbean utopia of the seas? How many. How many fit on that cruise ship?

[Love]

I'll come out and say a thousand bucks. If you're a super fan. Sounds like a good deal.

[Ethan Klein]

How long. How many days is it?

[Tamara]

Three days.

[Dan]

Three.

[Love]

That's a.

[Ethan Klein]

That's a decent deal. Yeah, it is.

[Love]

Concert. So you have concert prize, hotel and probably some food included into that.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, listen, $300 a day for a hotel on vacation is already like a pretty good deal.

[Love]

Loki banger deal.

[Zach]

I mean Kiss, Kiss the band has been in the cruise business for years now. They make nothing but money from that shit. Why is H3 not in the cruise business?

[Ethan Klein]

So that. So they fit five.

[Love]

A question for you.

[Dan]

Well, can I. Can I point out very important thing out that Ethan, you have stated I hate many times that you think we need to sink all of the cruise ships in the world. That is the worst thing in the world.

[Ethan Klein]

I did say that.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Also, also, I didn't know I could. We all. Let me, let me. Let's do a thought exercise here.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Everybody please try to remember the last time a toilet was clogged in the office. You remember it?

[Dan]

Yeah. Every other day with Ethan.

[Tom]

Good. Now Google the poop cruise.

[Abby]

Oh yeah, I watched that documentary.

[Galia]

Okay, but what about. We are all forgetting about when there were 27 pedal. Look at these guys on a Disney cruise.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at these guys. They're sharing headphones.

[Dan]

You remember the hantavirus?

[Ethan Klein]

Wouldn't it be funny if JoJo died of an exotic virus on her own? Yeah, wouldn't that be so funny? And they had to throw her overboard because it was a hazard. She had a burial at scene and

[Galia]

the crabs took her away.

[Dan]

I do need to point out too that at least in the case with the JoJo cruise, and I think this is the case with all of these celebrity or influencer cruises is that it's not the whole cruise ship isn't close to you. It's a normal cruise with like an add on package for like a JoJo experience.

[Tom]

That's crazy.

[Dan]

So most of the people on this cruise that were on that boat were not.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, you think so?

[Galia]

Can you imagine? I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

5,000 tickets she couldn't fill.

[Galia]

You know who else was on? Who's going to be on that boat?

[Love]

Who?

[Dan]

I need you to answer.

[Ethan Klein]

Deadly viruses.

[Galia]

The pedophiles.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh yeah, that was a Disney cruiser.

[Zach]

Wait, so is this. Is it a thousand bucks for the whole cruiser? Thousand dollars?

[Ethan Klein]

Add on is.

[Dan]

No, that's not the add on.

[Abby]

That's.

[Dan]

That's all in.

[Love]

I believe that is such a banger.

[Ethan Klein]

So I bet she. I bet she taken home like if she sells a thousand tickets which seems doable yeah.

[Abby]

She sold 225.

[Ethan Klein]

I'll go like. She sold 225 tickets? Yes, according to. How do you know that?

[Dan]

There's a bunch of report. This already happened.

[Ethan Klein]

She only sold 225 seats.

[Love]

200, that's. I mean, that's a lot of money.

[Ethan Klein]

No, maybe.

[Dan]

Maybe you should continue.

[Love]

200.

[Dan]

Doc, we have lots of 25,000 because

[Tom]

do you know how much it's going to cost? Like all that money, Almost the whole 1000 is going to go to cost.

[RFK's Sister]

Yep.

[Ethan Klein]

She's probably going to make a quarter of this as well. She also sold merch, like exclusive merch. But what 200 people?

[Abby]

Well, again, it's an add on to already.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, but what is she making of it? Is my question.

[Dan]

Yeah, probably not the biggest percentage. Listen, Ethan, at no point.

[Ethan Klein]

My point is I could sell 200 of these cruise tickets.

[Galia]

Oh yeah, yeah, that would be cool.

[Ethan Klein]

I can sell a thousand of these. I feel like easy H3 cruise.

[Tom]

Why would you want to?

[Ethan Klein]

Is the question obvious? Money, Cash grab.

[Abby]

I've been on a Royal Caribbean cruise.

[Ethan Klein]

Daddy needs to do.

[Tom]

You what?

[Abby]

I've been on a Royal Caribbean cruise when I was younger. I loved it.

[Tom]

When you were younger?

[Abby]

Yeah. I don't know if I would now.

[Love]

Yeah, I'll go. I would do it. Let's do it.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's do it. We're gonna be so rich, you guys. We're gonna be so rich.

[Love]

I don't believe we never thought about this.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo. So here's details on the JoJo poopers is real.

[Tom]

They were stuck in poop water.

[Ethan Klein]

That's not even the worst thing. People would be. People just be dying out there.

[Love]

Well, hold on. If we sell out that boat 5,000 times a thousand, that's like what, 50 million?

[Galia]

How can we guarantee we won't have any pedophiles?

[Ethan Klein]

There'll be some. Within a month's 5,000. There'll be some. Chances are three of the people in this room are pedophiles. Right, right, right, right.

[Galia]

Doing that and I can name one of them.

[Ethan Klein]

No, we ain't doing that.

[Love]

What are the.

[Ethan Klein]

What are the chances that at least someone in this room is a pedophile? Bet 3. Everybody know a pedophile. Yeah.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Gross.

[Zach]

I do not support pedophiles.

[Ethan Klein]

So it looks like they just finished the cruise. Enjoy a meet and greet. Q and a dance party. Build a bow. It's sold out. Well, it's done. Oh, it didn't.

[Galia]

I can't believe it.

[Love]

This happened.

[Dan]

This is past tense.

[Ethan Klein]

This Is they got home three days ago.

[Dan]

There's videos I would have.

[Ethan Klein]

I would have pointed out.

[Dan]

We don't need to speculate.

[Love]

So can we send tomorrow?

[Galia]

It's too late. We just found out it's over.

[Ethan Klein]

So let's see.

[Dan]

But yes, this does have details, including add on package. So there's upsells. It also has the itinerary. So if you want to go over what. What you all get for this price. So you're there. Right there.

[Ethan Klein]

We have a welcome party meet and greet.

[Love]

Wow.

[Dan]

What is the difference between those two things, you think?

[Ethan Klein]

Kick off your vacation at the welcome party. That's all I get? And then meet and greet, take selfies, get on. So she's at the meet and greet, she's not at the welcome party. That's the difference.

[Love]

Okay,

[Ethan Klein]

I'm sure she's at the welcome.

[Dan]

I think she's at the.

[Galia]

Well, she better be.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, that's just value added then.

[Abby]

They also get first dibs on lifeboats if it goes down.

[Dan]

Oh, that's a real good perk. Actually.

[Love]

After Jojo Siwa.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Jojo Siwa dance party. Dance plays games, wins prizes. Celebrate everything with Jojo. No, no, it doesn't say with Jojo. It says every everything. Jojo. She might not be there.

[Dan]

She might not be there.

[Ethan Klein]

Actually, I doubt she is there.

[Love]

Yeah, well, where else is she gonna be?

[Dan]

She's on a boat.

[Love]

She's on a boat. It's not like she can't.

[Ethan Klein]

You're just in your room.

[Galia]

Yeah, probably just hiding.

[Ethan Klein]

I would be. I'll be honest with you guys. If I saw these tickets, I'd be in my room. I would do like the meet and greet because I love you guys and obviously it's important for me to say hi. I don't want you guys to have fun. But I'd be in my room the rest of the time.

[Dan]

Wow. What a great time.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not personal.

[Zach]

Buy your tickets now.

[Ethan Klein]

Tomorrow, entertainment tomorrow.

[Zach]

Each crew member could do an activity.

[Ethan Klein]

I fuck with that.

[Zach]

Like you could learn sales from Tom. Or tech with Dan. Like build a computer with Dan.

[Tom]

Dude, that sounds so fun.

[Zach]

I'll do guitar lessons or some. That's sick.

[Tom]

Now we ain't doing that.

[Ethan Klein]

Infinity Heart concert at sea. So this is apparently her the big show. This is why you are here. Experience a Jojo Siwa live performance in a one of a kind concert at sea. JoJo Siwa trivia. She's not there. For that. Jojo Siwa knowledge. You compete with other fans for prizes and bragging rights. Name that tune. I mean, they're all gonna know the tune if they're. Yeah.

[Love]

A thousand dollars to be there.

[Dan]

How many songs she got.

[Ethan Klein]

And once again, when prizes enjoy, you get to enjoy the music. Oh, that's nice. They allow you to enjoy the music.

[Galia]

She have a thing for bows?

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Galia]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Build a bow.

[Abby]

That was like her whole look.

[Galia]

It was.

[Dan]

She's always wearing.

[Galia]

Oh, I thought. No, I thought it meant a bow. Like a bow and arrow.

[Dan]

Oh, that'd be sick.

[Abby]

Like hunting.

[Galia]

That's what you can do with me when we do the A3.

[Ethan Klein]

Shoot a bow and arrow.

[Galia]

Arrow.

[Ethan Klein]

Create your own signature bow and bring home a one of a kind keepsake. Treasure this keepsake forever. JoJo Siwa Q& A. I guess she has to show up for that one autograph session. I guess she's showing up for that one photo session. She's there. Dance class with JoJo.

[Dan]

Oh, that's different.

[Ethan Klein]

Pretty sick. Hell yeah. JoJo siwa farewell party. Get the out of here. Close your unforgettable voyage with one last celebration filled with music. Wait, she might not be at this one. It includes an autograph poster. I think she's not at this.

[Love]

What if she just is there for the meet and greet and then she takes the helicopter up the boat?

[Tom]

Oh my God.

[Abby]

That's such a bad honesty.

[Ethan Klein]

I might do that. So we can do add ons. Luckily, guys, don't worry. There's way more options. So yeah, let's do something for 22. You can get a. A bow your own. A Jojo bow.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Can you exclusive for the cruise?

[Dan]

Excuse me. Can I take part in the build a bow workshop if I have not purchased the additional $22 JoJo Siwa cruise bow?

[Ethan Klein]

It sounds like yes.

[Tamara]

Nope.

[Dan]

Okay, very good.

[Tom]

So there's a super chat saying that YouTuber Ben of the week went on the cruise and filmed this experience and JoJo was around more than I thought.

[Dan]

Well, we have lots.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, what is that? Oh my gosh. Okay, you can get a cruise t shirt for $32. Guys. Celebrate. Celebrate pride. Show off your cruise Pride. Was that a gay thing? What do you. What do you have to be gay to buy? JoJo shirt.

[Galia]

That is interesting. Cruise pride.

[Tom]

She's.

[Ethan Klein]

She's recently no longer a lesbian.

[Galia]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

I guess she's bisexual, which is still part of the.

[Tom]

I guess.

[Dan]

Yeah, still part of the B. Dude,

[Ethan Klein]

it could be one of the main letters.

[Dan]

It's the third letter.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes, third letter. Foundational.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Tom]

True.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm official cruise zip. Hoodie. Does it smell good enough for you in there? You can get a cruise tank top. You can get a beach style. You can get a swag bag. Well, that's just merch, that's all. Sounds reasonable.

[Dan]

Well, there was all like $50 plus.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, but she's merch. These are unrelated activities.

[Dan]

Yeah, this is just other things that are available on. On a cruise.

[Zach]

I always got to do forensic accounting, you know. See, see, you know what they're making? I think Hila's right. Out of the thousand, she's making maybe 200 bucks. So that's 45 grand if she sold 225 tickets. Plus, what do you think? 10 grand in merch, 15 in merch. So you're at 60.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, that's not bad.

[Zach]

I mean, it's less for three days. 20 grand a day.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know what Jojo's used to making. I don't think she's pulling in. Like, I don't think she's selling out. I don't think she's selling out.

[Abby]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I don't think she's. Madison Square Garden ain't filling out for Jojo Siwa.

[Dan]

It does say on this website that it was sold out.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, they just write that when it's the sales end. They basically write that when the cruise leaves port.

[Love]

Oh, we sold out.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Love]

Awesome.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. Well, that all sounds pretty exciting.

[Love]

I don't know, I feel like the costs for them would be low. It's not bad because they already got all their shit there, you know, I mean, like, they're ready to do all this already. I'm sure they. I'm sure they circle through our artists all the time and do this with other.

[Dan]

What was the. The boat? The. It was called like Utopia.

[Abby]

Norwegian Majesty.

[Ethan Klein]

This one's called Utopia.

[Dan]

Utopia of the Seas.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what this one is called.

[Love]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

You're asking what is this boat called?

[Dan]

Yes, I was asking because I'm going to look up how much normal. Three day.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes.

[Dan]

Cruise.

[Ethan Klein]

Royal Caribbean, Utopia of the Seas.

[Love]

I mean, they young, lean or blade on there. I'm there. You know what I mean?

[Ethan Klein]

Well, let's. We don't have to speculate. Let's see what Jojo se while cruise day one looks like. Thank you. So wait, who filmed this?

[Dan]

Fan?

[Tom]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Swelling Entertainment.

[Dan]

The council.

[Ethan Klein]

Took us long enough to get here.

[Zach]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, whose fault was that? Jojo, you're on a boat. Well, let me guess, you got stuck in traffic. What's taking you so long? Idiot. Care about your fans Moron. Why are you wearing a fucking caution vest?

[Galia]

Why you gotta come after her for

[Ethan Klein]

a million reasons if she's wearing a caution vest? I know she didn't get people moving out of her way when she was walking there.

[Dan]

Love had a good point. Name one.

[Love]

Name one.

[Ethan Klein]

Her car.

[Love]

What about it?

[Ethan Klein]

It's a fucking disaster.

[Love]

It's pretty cool.

[Galia]

Cool?

[Dan]

Pretty cool?

[Ethan Klein]

That's it. I did. I named one. And you disagree with me?

[Love]

Name one. That I agree with the cruise.

[Abby]

Imagine the whole cruise ship was wrapped in her face.

[Dan]

That'd be so sick.

[Ethan Klein]

First of all, it's so expensive. It's really not even that packed. I mean, they're not even really shoulder to shoulder. You can fit. You could fit more people in that room. Eh. So this is what JoJo fans look like, huh?

[Tom]

Yes.

[Love]

Maybe it's a good deal for her. She gets like this sweet. She gets to be at sea, like the top, top, like, room and whatnot.

[Ethan Klein]

She's making out with like, 50 grand.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Galia]

Bad.

[Love]

This is probably pretty enjoyable as an

[Ethan Klein]

artist from the littlest peanut who's only 12 months old. You guys know I love to find the ship. Grandma or Grandpa? We got to find the oldest person in the room. We got to find the oldest person

[Abby]

in the room and kill them.

[Zach]

Your throw them over.

[Ethan Klein]

I love you, Donald.

[RFK's Sister]

You're not the oldest person.

[Ethan Klein]

God damn it. Bro.

[Zach]

I got to mute it.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, wait, this is the video.

[Tom]

Is it?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Oh, we did.

[Ethan Klein]

I thought I scrolled, but you did. Did. No. Wow.

[Dan]

Well, first of all, to her later. And then you scroll to another video, zooming in and out. We can see.

[Tom]

You guys know.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, hold on, hold on.

[Love]

The person you scroll to was underneath too.

[Ethan Klein]

You're right. I think this is videos.

[Dan]

Video on their account.

[Love]

That was interesting, though.

[Abby]

I sent the YouTube video as well. The guy who went on the ship.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

You guys know I love to find the ship. Grandma or Grandpa?

[RFK's Sister]

We gotta find the oldest.

[Zach]

Grandpa.

[Ethan Klein]

Him. I love you, Donald.

[RFK's Sister]

You're not the oldest person.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. Yeah, no, she's just.

[Love]

Well, she's here too.

[Ethan Klein]

That's crazy. Come on. Don't, Zach. I'm missing words. Oh, no. They're playing music.

[Zach]

We can't play it.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

I thought she. Oh, she going to do it. Hila.

[Tom]

Oh, my God. Don't tell me.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, she's stretching. She didn't want to pull something. She's stretching for her dance. I think I know. That is neck stretch. Okay. God, this is fucking. This is.

[Love]

Everyone's having a good time.

[Dan]

Great.

[Ethan Klein]

I Guess maybe I'm being a sour puss, but.

[Dan]

Yes, you are.

[Galia]

The fans are older than I thought

[Ethan Klein]

they would be and this was the, like, welcome event.

[Tom]

The kickoff party is in 40 minutes.

[Ethan Klein]

It's at 10pm so we'll see. I mean, if you have the same social dysfunction that would cause you to be a JoJo Siwa fan, it'd be nice to meet a lot of other like minded people.

[Tamara]

Sure.

[Ethan Klein]

Lifetime friendship, probably.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Support.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

You like that, eh? Tom, you sicko.

[Zach]

I love that.

[Galia]

Yeah. That's your cream.

[Zach]

I wish I was there, bro.

[Galia]

That's your cream, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

JoJo Cruz moments. Joel and Molly highlights, whatever the that means. JoJo Siwa Cruz. JoJo s concert just ended up.

[Tom]

It was the most.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't have words for yet because we're still processing, but I'm not kidding when I say the best night of my life. And I was just thinking, sounds like a good deal. You've seen her on the Dream Tour. Like, her performances, horror. I just, I genuinely wonder, like, what have they been through in their life that caused them to be like this? And I don't mean that as an insult. I mean that in like, in a sympathetic way.

[Abby]

My answer would be nothing. Like, they started watching YouTube when they were kids. They became fans of JoJo and never left.

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, no, no. Something terrible.

[Abby]

Something terrible happened.

[Ethan Klein]

They suffered some tragic, horrible loss that just. These people were changed somewhere in their life that just. They took a fork in a row and they had no way come about coming back. Choreography. Her, like, stage presence.

[RFK's Sister]

I can't.

[Ethan Klein]

You can't top it. She's like, literally, literally cannot get better than a JoJo Siwa concert.

[Zach]

No, it can get better.

[Ethan Klein]

I say that with full confidence. Like, is this what they call flipping?

[Love]

That's a clip right there. Luke Belmar is behind this clip, making us intentional, eh?

[Ethan Klein]

She says that with full confidence. And I believe her because there is literally nobody on earth like her. Like, I was just starting to crying watching her because I'm like, look at this girl who gets insane amounts of online hate, who is now on stage just literally being the queen that she is. I don't care about what they say.

[Galia]

I'm gonna come back, like.

[Ethan Klein]

And then like, she literally does. She literally comes back like a boomerang. I'm like, so proud of her. She's so boomerang coded. Have you ever thrown a boomerang? It's like that. Also, she gave me her bracelet. Swings.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know if she wants it back.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

I Can't. Okay, listen. If they had the best night of life. That's a easy. That's a easy spin. That's a good deal. Jojo performing Karma. Karma's a. And I'm a bad habit. I don't know how that song goes. Mute at 25 seconds.

[Abby]

Yes,

[Ethan Klein]

yes,

[Zach]

yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Ethan Klein]

That's stage presence, yo. No, she's gonna do it. She is. She's gonna. Mute it.

[Tom]

Oh, man.

[Ethan Klein]

She's not gonna do the move.

[Zach]

She doesn't do it.

[Ethan Klein]

She doesn't do it.

[Abby]

I heard Dan watching this morning. He's like, what the.

[Tom]

Yeah, where is it?

[Ethan Klein]

I should have known better. If I had a wish, I would have never effed around. No, she did a fake. I should play a different song after.

[Tom]

Oh, man.

[Ethan Klein]

So that's what's popping there. Jojo dancing. Hell yeah. Does she do it here? Please hope. I need her to do her dance. Oh, this is graphic. Yo, this is graphic. What? Chill. What the hell is that? Something like.

[Zach]

Oh, yes.

[Ethan Klein]

What the hell, guys?

[Dan]

Chill.

[Abby]

Tom.

[Ethan Klein]

Tom. This is graphic.

[Zach]

Yes. Yes.

[Abby]

I've never seen such an extra dancer.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. She put on a show. A photo Jojo posted from the cruise looks like a still of her iconic dance. But so what? I gotta look at it through a still? I mean, what the hell is that? Oops. Yes. See, here she is on the cruise.

[Zach]

Oh, yes.

[Ethan Klein]

That's cool. I think. Is that cool? I don't know. It's not cool apparently. What? You tell me you don't think that's cool? No, no, no, no. What about that?

[Tom]

That's okay.

[Ethan Klein]

What about that?

[Tom]

No, no.

[Ethan Klein]

Not gonna ask.

[Tom]

No, no. Hell no.

[Ethan Klein]

Looks like a good time. Honestly. Build a bow. Anyone want to see that?

[Abby]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Honestly. You know, it would be an interesting experiment if I went there by myself and I genuinely went as open minded as possible to have the best time possible. I bet you would have a blast. Yeah, I'd make a ton of friends and I'd have the best time ever. Me and the girls. Me and the ladies.

[Dan]

I would.

[Abby]

This YouTube video. I was surprised seeing this ship. It actually does look pretty nice.

[Ethan Klein]

There you go. Yeah, it's utopia at sea, bro.

[Love]

Yeah,

[Ethan Klein]

so I keep almost wanting to say build a bear and I have no idea what's about to happen. Sounds like a copyright issue if that's making you think of that. Like we got an issue.

[Galia]

Craziest picture.

[Ethan Klein]

This is very preschool coded.

[Tom]

Yeah, we got a craft table.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, why were they in Harry Potter? What the were they wearing? Hold on. If you Go to her account. She has more Georgia videos. Why are they wearing gowns? Oh, they aren't Harry Potter.

[Love]

Maybe there's a Harry Potter event going on at the same time and they just do like different things, like multiple things. Every.

[Ethan Klein]

Every cruise. They've gotten creative getting people on, you know, they got to get people on these fucking boats and it's just a damn death trap. You can't escape. So they got to get creative. They got Harry Potter, they got Jojo. They dressed as Jojo. Jojo as Draco.

[Abby]

Draco.

[Ethan Klein]

Draco, whatever. Oh, that's actually good. That is actually. That's really good.

[RFK's Sister]

Malfoy. Malfoy.

[Tom]

Think my name's funny, do you?

[Ethan Klein]

I need to ask you yours. Is this from the cruise? Red hair and a hammer, but she's. She's slaying that.

[Love]

That could be us if we reviewed the movies.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, wait, no fans dining with JoJo. Whoa, that wasn't. They didn't list that.

[Zach]

You wouldn't do that.

[Tom]

I would.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at this. Good ass time.

[Dan]

Doing hibachi. Doing the little choo choo train with the onions.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't want to live forever. Come on. Wait, where's Jojo?

[Love]

She's sitting right there in the middle.

[Ethan Klein]

Right there, Right there. No one's close to her though. You notice that. She got that vibe like she's the. The brat. You know, like the bride and groom get their own table. Like, don't. Don't talk to us.

[Love]

Don't look at her.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't look at me. Don't talk to me.

[Love]

Kick kicked up the boat if you look at her.

[Ethan Klein]

Someone named Ben of the Week made a video. He survived the Jojo cruise. Genuinely. Such a great idea for a video.

[Abby]

Yeah,

[Ethan Klein]

it's only 600000 views. That's not fair, Ben. You deserve more.

[Love]

One day.

[Ethan Klein]

Maybe it's a video.

[Zach]

I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

I haven't seen it.

[Tom]

Sounds like a good idea though, where

[Tamara]

you and Jojo Siwa can see.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, I saw. I think this is the guy that went to. He went to Dubai and I think this is the guy and he went to all the, like, slave quarters.

[Abby]

I think I did see a Dubai video.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I thought that was good. Yeah, people love Dubai, but they don't know that they actually live on slavery there. This guy's like, I'm going to Dubai, but I'm going to where all the slaves live. And it's really bad.

[Love]

Yeah, you're right. I went to Dubai. This is what they try to hide.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, it's Good video.

[Galia]

Yeah.

[Tamara]

I have been to North Korea, the owls of Dubai and New Jersey and what if I told you I found a place worse than all three? What if I told you that to enter such a place would cost thousands of dollars? What if I told you that place is the Jojo Siwa cruise?

[Ethan Klein]

Extravagant.

[Dan]

Frankly, I would think that you're exaggerating.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, it's a cruise, Dan. It's gonna cost a lot of money, you call me.

[Dan]

He said it was worse than all of those places.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, North Korea they put worse than North Korea.

[Dan]

The Jojo Siwa Cruise.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen, North Korea put on. They put on a happy face for the tours.

[Dan]

You said yourself he went to the fucking slave quarters in Dubai's not a slave. Okay, well, neither is anybody on the Jojo Siwa cruise. They're all there of their own volition.

[Ethan Klein]

We don't know that.

[Dan]

I think I have a pretty good sense.

[Ethan Klein]

So Dan is calling you a liar. Sorry. Joey's World Tour. Whatever the.

[Dan]

I said he's exaggerating.

[Ethan Klein]

Joey's World Tour.

[Tamara]

Sail across the Caribbean aboard one of the biggest aquatic monstrosities since the Titanic. Don't ask how much the workers make. It's definitely not $3 an hour. Get a burger at our old timey Johnny Buzzkill.

[Ethan Klein]

Bro, chill.

[Tamara]

It's American Diner. Don't dive into. Why? There's a black plume of smoke coming

[Dan]

out of the butler, bro. Come on, it's got an engine.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Zach]

Hello.

[Tom]

Hello.

[Dan]

Don't dive into it. Oh yeah, it has an engine.

[Zach]

Oh, what's.

[Ethan Klein]

What's next? A cruise gives off as much CO2 as a million cars in a day.

[Dan]

Yeah, I mean sure it does, but how else are you going to get to paradise?

[Ethan Klein]

Have you ever heard of a utopia?

[Dan]

AKA the Bahamas?

[Love]

Try sailing, bro. Where's the sailing?

[Ethan Klein]

Cruise ships kind of based idea. Yeah, I with that be kind of cool. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You think a utopia doesn't come with a price?

[Dan]

So true. I mean you've been to Dubai, you should know.

[Ethan Klein]

Exactly. Not supposed to look under the engine. Idiot.

[Love]

Dumbass.

[Tamara]

And dive into Sugar beach and get a lollipop. And do not ask why. All the labor on board comes from India, the Philippines.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, this guy sounds like a communist

[Tamara]

Indonesia. And strap into some World cup games at the sports bar with the brewski

[Dan]

with the boys

[Tamara]

for three nights. Joey is taking over a Royal Caribbean cruise ship to perform a song. Teach a glitter There.

[Ethan Klein]

He got her. He got her doing the move.

[Dan]

It's true.

[Tamara]

What's Taking over.

[Ethan Klein]

It's worth it knowing that.

[Tamara]

Teach a glitter class and host a cabana party. I paid $3,000 to go.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. So it's more. So hold on. Yeah, Okay.

[Tom]

I said a thousand.

[Ethan Klein]

A thousand per night. It's per night. I think a thousands for the lower end rooms.

[Galia]

That's.

[Ethan Klein]

That's the base price you could pay

[Love]

for the dungeons without windows with the workers in the. No, bro. Have you seen the sheep ones? They have no windows. They're just in the middle of the picture.

[Ethan Klein]

You know this super creepy.

[Abby]

You know the Titanic, when it starts to flood and they close the gate? It's those rooms. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

That's good. I mean. I mean, it's hard to say that that's a. If that's a downside or a bonus diet, you know, I mean, probably wasn't. You want to drown or you want to freeze? I don't know. Probably freeze.

[Love]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I had to choose, I guess, on

[Tamara]

this because I've made a lot of wrong turns in my life and this

[Ethan Klein]

is my job now.

[Tamara]

But there's also thousands of dollars in bonus activities like meet and greets.

[Ethan Klein]

That doesn't look that bad.

[Love]

I know. When you realize it's in the hull of the ship. Oh, you're showing the nice ones. I just sent a really quick.

[Abby]

This is nice.

[Dan]

I just.

[Ethan Klein]

That looks fine. That looks good for a ship. I sent a really shitty one. Boats are not that nice. Dude.

[Zach]

Tickets are three grand.

[Ethan Klein]

That looks fucking miserable. That looks like prison.

[Love]

Yeah, right? Imagine that in the bottom of the hole. You just hear like, shit.

[Dan]

That sounds crazy. I like.

[Ethan Klein]

Honestly, it's fine. It's fine. You know, it's fine if you want to get on that boat.

[Love]

I don't want to get on the boat that hard.

[Tom]

I've done a cruise one time with my parents as a kid, and it was like this. It was like the tiniest room. It was basically just a bed.

[Ethan Klein]

Did you have your own room? Room?

[Tom]

No, we were together.

[Ethan Klein]

So what, you all shared a bed?

[Tom]

It's like bunk beds.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh. Oh, yeah. That's what that is.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Holy.

[Tom]

And it was super claustrophobic.

[Love]

It was. Did they have a bathroom in the room or was there a communal.

[Tom]

You know what? I don't remember.

[Ethan Klein]

Doesn't look like there's space for a bathroom, but is this. Is this Royal Caribbean or is this like.

[Love]

This is just a random Google? This is what I had in mind.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, show me a Royal Caribbean.

[Love]

That's what Dime would show. Going. And it looks pretty fun.

[Ethan Klein]

That's a Good ass time right there, dude.

[Galia]

You think?

[Ethan Klein]

Joe Jojo not gonna steer me wrong,

[Dan]

you know, All I'm saying is all those fan videos seem like they were enjoying themselves. Yeah, Ben can hate all he wants.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Dan]

But the people who paid to be there, they seem satisfied.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's see. Maybe he ends up having fun.

[Tamara]

Maybe hibachi dinners and movie nights with Jojo herself in her hotel room. But I've never been on a cruise in my whole life.

[Galia]

And.

[Tamara]

And me and Jojo Si. Were actually both on Nickelodeon, so. Really?

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, hold on. You can bring your kitty on a cruise.

[Love]

This is not.

[Tom]

This is his home.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, he's at home. Okay. I was like, yeah, okay, that makes sense.

[Zach]

But they said something. You can have movie night in Jojo's room. That doesn't sound true.

[Ethan Klein]

Sounds sketchy.

[Tom]

Nobody said that.

[Ethan Klein]

I thought they did say that.

[Zach]

No, they just said that.

[Tamara]

A cruise in my dinner. But there's also thousands of dollars in bonus acc rooms. But I've never been on a cruise. Dinner and movie nights with Jojo herself in her hotel room, but I've never

[Ethan Klein]

been on it Sounds very Weinstein coated.

[Tom]

Interesting.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, right. Come over to my room.

[Zach]

Sketchy as hell.

[Ethan Klein]

Movies with me. No thanks, Jojo. I've heard this story before.

[Tamara]

Cruise in my.

[Galia]

Oh, Nate was so ready. They're leaving. Bye.

[Tom]

Thank you.

[Dan]

We're happy to have you. Yeah, yeah, I understand. Ethan can be pretty annoying and sorry about that. Tomorrow's kicking us out.

[Ethan Klein]

Tomorrow's being paid to stay.

[Galia]

So clearly we have no experience being obnoxious on our own, so.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, stop. But you guys were a delight.

[Dan]

You were delightful.

[Galia]

Thank you. Thank you. Thanks Chat.

[Ethan Klein]

Bye, guys.

[Galia]

Bye.

[Ethan Klein]

Thanks for stopping by. Have fun. Are you guys doing a little like vacation here? You be here for a couple days.

[Love]

They say

[Ethan Klein]

you're staying longer. You got nothing to do. 10 days and then. 10 days.

[Tom]

Nice.

[Ethan Klein]

In LA?

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, you're here for four days.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

You guys seem very tight knit. I like that. All right, get out. Last time you all came together too, right?

[Tom]

Yeah,

[Ethan Klein]

They're, they're. They travel together. Very sweet. Lovely family. Very lovely.

[Tamara]

My whole life. And me and Jojo Siwa were actually both on Nickelodeon, so. Really? I just want to see how my colleague is doing.

[Ethan Klein]

Welcome to the Jojo cruise, everybody.

[Tamara]

You would have thought I was getting on nose.

[Abby]

Timestamps in the discord if you want.

[Ethan Klein]

This is Joey Frobs. JoJo. JoJo with Joey. Is this guy a child actor for real or is that some joke?

[Abby]

I don't get I said in the description, he used to be on Disney Channel. I don't know if it's a meme on his channel. Let me look.

[Ethan Klein]

Where's the time stamp?

[Abby]

Discord.

[Ethan Klein]

You sent me time stamps on Discord.

[Abby]

Mm.

[Ethan Klein]

You said okay,

[Abby]

because someone just suggested this video. We didn't have it.

[Tamara]

My stomach hurts so bad. I'll get into that later. But I did manage to go to the JoJo Club later that night. Throughout the weekend, each JoJo Siwa Cruise event kind of just repurposed the same background step and repeat posters. Someone on her team, he just, like, turned to me and said, you know, this is kind of like JoJo Siwa's eras tour. And you know what? They're fucking right. They're right. No one was touching the bar or desserts, and their legs seemed to be glued to the dance floor. I didn't know what was going on.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know if you could hear

[Tamara]

it, but they ran out of jojo

[Dan]

Siwa songs, so they're playing her Christmas catalog now.

[Tamara]

It kind of had the vibe of like a middle school dance. So I left pretty quickly, day one. The closest comparison I have to the vibe of this place is the AI Generated Willy Wonka experience in, like, Glasgow.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, come on. That's Utopia at sea.

[Tamara]

I haven't even, like, had time to process.

[Galia]

And the fact that I'm in the

[Tamara]

middle of the Atlantic Ocean, I can't even think. I can't even think about that right now because I am so overwhelmed with the world building that JoJo Siwa has created. And let me tell you, when JoJo Siwa walked in the Glitter Bow room. Oh, I get it.

[Zach]

I get it.

[Tamara]

I'm a. I'm a. I'm a Joe. I'm a. I'm a Joe. Joe. She's really sweet, you guys. I mean, I knew it when I saw that picture. And she's like. She's like a little.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know if he's being ironic.

[Love]

He's being.

[Dan]

I don't know.

[Love]

He's troll.

[Tamara]

Curled up in her boyfriend's arms. I'm like, you know what?

[Ethan Klein]

God bless her.

[Tamara]

However, a vibe that I was not enjoying was the ship that was housing the JoJo Siwa cruise. Like, why was there a floating Starbucks next to a man selling a Singaporean lady five packs of Newports? And then people, oh, it's like a.

[Ethan Klein]

It's like an airport.

[Tom]

Tax free, baby.

[Ethan Klein]

It's an airport at sea. Yeah.

[Zach]

Wait, wait, wait. That.

[Dan]

It looks like it's double stacking so that's 10 cartons. That's 10 cartons.

[Abby]

Oh, man.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's go Newports too, huh?

[Abby]

Let's.

[Dan]

What's a carton? I think it's 20 packs.

[Ethan Klein]

Yep.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow.

[Dan]

We're stocking up. That's like 200.

[Ethan Klein]

No plans on quitting.

[Tom]

That's somebody that smokes like a pack a day.

[Ethan Klein]

They're dead. At least 3 day cruise

[Tamara]

line dancing to Michael Jackson in the background.

[Ethan Klein]

Almost midnight.

[Dan]

My nervous system is running 1,000 miles an hour.

[Tamara]

I need to be hitting the head with the rock. I found little to no reprieve anywhere.

[Ethan Klein]

Are Gam Casino.

[Love]

Hell yeah. You know, once they hit international. International water, they hit that.

[Dan]

You can murder someone on the.

[Ethan Klein]

Who's going to hold you accountable?

[Dan]

Nobody. There's no law on the high sea.

[Ethan Klein]

Exactly, bro.

[Love]

They can do whatever they want.

[Tamara]

The constant over stimulation. Aside from this random like auction art gallery.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, those strawberries are slaying.

[Love]

Imagine it's just AI art. I'm not saying it is, but that would be so.

[Ethan Klein]

So it does give that cruise code.

[Tamara]

Simulation. Aside from.

[Love]

No, I don't think it's AI.

[Ethan Klein]

I doubt they would do that.

[Galia]

Right.

[Dan]

I'm reverse image.

[Ethan Klein]

This one looks more AI. Thank.

[Love]

Sure it's a real artist.

[Ethan Klein]

Are you sure?

[Love]

I mean it has to be.

[Ethan Klein]

It has to be.

[Love]

Yeah.

[Abby]

I'm seeing. He was a voice actor for Nickelodeon.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Abby]

Yeah. For Ninja Turtles.

[Dan]

There's a painting titled Five o' Clock Somewhere by artist Michael Godard.

[Ethan Klein]

Five o' Clock Somewhere.

[Dan]

That's epic.

[Love]

It would be so cruise code of

[Tamara]

like sexy sexed up strawberries. How do we have all that going on in there? And then it's just

[Ethan Klein]

the void.

[Tamara]

I think that when this whole America. That's just cruises probably you can experiment falls.

[Galia]

Yeah.

[Tamara]

Most of the 20 years and we're eating sauce.

[Dan]

The wider cruise experience that he's criticizing. It seems like he doesn't have that much smoke for JoJo.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Directly.

[Ethan Klein]

And also cruises are not an American phenomenon. Don't put that on us.

[Tamara]

Our bellies full and cooking cockroaches.

[Ethan Klein]

They do that everywhere.

[Dan]

Yeah, I know that. I know there are cruises in Europe and on the Mediterranean stuff. I guess you're right. I feel like these like giga cruises though is kind of a distinctly American.

[Ethan Klein]

You guys with cruises love.

[Love]

Yeah. But I. I do also feel like it's an American thing. We do have. There's like cruises in Norway. It's like nature cruises and stuff like that.

[Dan]

Yeah. And I know there's like river cruises through Europe and stuff. But these like floating shopping malls.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Dan]

I think is kind of like an American thing.

[Love]

We.

[Abby]

We drove by the Port of Miami when we were there last month. And the cruise ships now are insane. Like there were a bunch of them had roller coasters on top.

[Dan]

Well, I think this one that she's on, I could be wrong, but when I googled it earlier, the.

[Zach]

What is it?

[Dan]

The Royal Caribbean Utopia at sea, Dan. So the fuck? Yeah, it's an Oasis class cruise ship. I believe that Oasis class cruise ship. Those are like the biggest passenger ships ever made.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what's ironic about being an Oasis? It's a reverse oasis. It's land in the middle of water. Fucking think about that. Think about it. Yeah, don't stop thinking about it. Think about it.

[Love]

Apparently they're trying to make like a nuclear powered one.

[Ethan Klein]

Better than what?

[Dan]

Nuclear powered, dude.

[Ethan Klein]

Imagine a nuclear meltdown at sea. Everybody dies, dude.

[Love]

There's some billionaire grafting up the plans. I read about it.

[Ethan Klein]

No, legitimately nuclear powered yacht crews would be way better than.

[Love]

So it would be so you could. Apparently according to this billionaire, you can buy like apartments and shit on there and like have it as a permanent thing. And it's just always out, never awesome, never docks.

[Tom]

Nuclear.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, what do you. What are they catching? What are they living on? Seafood.

[Love]

They probably have like transports doing that shit.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Yeah. This Utopia of the Seas is the fourth largest passenger ship ever.

[Abby]

Wow.

[Ethan Klein]

What are the three bigger ones?

[Dan]

The Legend of the Sea, the Star of the Sea and the Icon of the Sea. I think they're all part of the same ship. It's just some like the same class.

[Ethan Klein]

I feel like Utopia is better net word than the other three. Utopia. It's like perfect.

[Dan]

That seems like it should be the top dog. Yeah, you're right.

[Ethan Klein]

Princess was one of them. Print.

[Dan]

No Legend, star and icon.

[Ethan Klein]

Icon, yeah.

[Dan]

Icon's the biggest.

[Love]

That's not.

[Ethan Klein]

Then that's gonna seem right.

[RFK's Sister]

Okay.

[Tamara]

We're gonna look back at this and think what the were we doing? Are they gonna keep playing this all night?

[Dan]

I slept two hours.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, he's off.

[Tamara]

It's like the only restaurant.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, he's doing a tour sometimes. Yeah, I like I with the Sonic. Harry Potter. What was that.

[Galia]

On board?

[Tom]

So there's no off.

[Abby]

So yeah, these are the workers.

[Ethan Klein]

10 to 11 hours a day for the regular crew member, like who was

[Galia]

new on, who was five years in the company. They're working eight months to nine on

[Ethan Klein]

board and then we on board eight or nine months, 10 or 12 hours. Holy.

[Love]

And they probably don't get paid like,

[Ethan Klein]

like she says they get paid. Oh it's like three to five regular crew members who was new on, who

[Tom]

was not off straight six months.

[Ethan Klein]

And she said three to five.

[Galia]

It depends on the position.

[Tom]

The position.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. For the like me, I'm a six months contract on board. So there's no off straight six months. We work 10 to 11 tag industry. Yeah. It's not a lot. It's definitely a dollar for contract or now we have to complete the contract.

[Tom]

If they need us, they do transfer us.

[Ethan Klein]

Otherwise no.

[Dan]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

This until here, that's my cabin. Is it shared or is it just you?

[Tom]

I share the bathroom.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes.

[Tom]

The worst thing is when you have this phone and during the break and is something and then the guest services call you or somebody calls you.

[Ethan Klein]

So even there's a break period that you were trying to take a nap and then it works.

[Tom]

The only time like you you sleep peaceful is after nine. But even after nine you have your

[Ethan Klein]

stuff like your laundry cleaning.

[Love]

So that should be illegal for the young.

[Ethan Klein]

It is in most. I mean it is in western countries. That's why they go to India.

[Love]

Well I'm saying if they want to dock in like America they should not be allowed to do that or some shit. It seems like oversight.

[Ethan Klein]

Bro. You are. Do you understand you are facing down raising the prices of this cruise? I do understand that. Like what the.

[Dan]

It is weird though cuz like I'm looking right now and the headquarters for Royal Caribbean is in Miami.

[Ethan Klein]

Sure is.

[Dan]

Which like obviously but I, I would think they would have, they would at least have to like incorporate in the Cayman Islands or something to like get around those kind of labels. I'm good.

[Ethan Klein]

I want to know.

[Abby]

I'm not sure what to ask.

[Ethan Klein]

What am I asking it like how much they make and how do they get around the employment laws of the us

[Love]

I'm sure they just have surprised outside.

[Abby]

Boom.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, these people don't have work visas in America anyway.

[Tamara]

The cruise line is headquartered in America. Why aren't the workers.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, this is what we said.

[Abby]

Oh nice.

[Tamara]

American. Ben, intel is the cruise line is headquartered in America. Why aren't the workers afforded the same bare, bare minimum workers protections and assurances that they are given?

[Ethan Klein]

Man, you sound like someone that's wants to pay double.

[Dan]

Yeah, I did see the cheapest tickets for this cruise were starting at 500 a person. That's very affordable.

[Ethan Klein]

For how long? Per day?

[Dan]

Every day? No, no. All in dude.

[Ethan Klein]

500 for three days starting. That's bananas.

[Dan]

Not gonna be.

[Love]

I've seen YouTube videos with even lower prices.

[Dan]

Yeah, see that's just, that's playing.

[Ethan Klein]

We need to raise the prices. We need to. Because I think that the problem is the bet, the air, the bear barrier of entry needs to be higher. I don't want to be on a cruise with those people.

[Love]

I, I saw this YouTube.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't want to be on a cruise with people that can afford that.

[Tom]

But that is why a lot of people go.

[Ethan Klein]

That's why I'm not on it.

[Love]

I think they.

[Dan]

But now people aren't going because they're, they're. That's part of the issue is the cruise industry is dying because nobody wants to go on cruises anymore because, you know, you might get stuck on the poop Cruise or something.

[Ethan Klein]

One Royal Caribbean casino host publicly shared earnings 4,000 in a month. Well, that seems like not that bad. With income fluctuating due to commission and tips. He said his best month is in excess of 5,000 thousand. Major reason many cruising that. But that's a casino. Sorry.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

So the house, that sounds like a high paying job.

[Abby]

Yeah, sorry. The housekeeping is a thousand. Twelve hundred to three thousand a month.

[Ethan Klein]

Service and hospitality entry level, lower base salary, 600 to 1500amonth.

[Love]

And they work 11 hours a day.

[Ethan Klein]

11 to 12.

[Dan]

That's some bullshit. So I am looking into it and I guess they get around this flag of convenience. Yeah, exactly. They, they, the ship is flagged in some other country that doesn't have those legal protections.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, can I do that here?

[Dan]

Do you want to move the podcast?

[Ethan Klein]

Can I do a flag? Can I we, can we do a flag?

[Dan]

We could get flagged as like Cayman Islands or something.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, pirate radio.

[Tom]

I noticed that even on those, like those shows that we watch. What is it called? The crew, they work really hard and

[Ethan Klein]

they make good money.

[Tom]

They make good money, but still they don't have the same like rules that you would have here. They're working a job. Like they have to be working just like all day.

[Tamara]

Yeah, true.

[Tom]

They barely get five nights of sleep. No, they, I think five hours of sleep.

[Ethan Klein]

They do. They get, I think they get paid a lot of overtime. They get paid a lot like the Australians and Americans who work on those boats.

[Zach]

Plus they get tips like 2, 000 bucks a person for three days.

[Ethan Klein]

Which, I mean the loophole, every cruise has at least one international port so they don't have to pay us minimum wage. That's. I gotta do that. Hey guys.

[Love]

Sorry.

[Ethan Klein]

I poured it.

[Dan]

It's one of those loopholes that's like barely a loop. Like it's. Yeah, it's just overtly like wink, wink.

[Ethan Klein]

It's lobbying.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

It's a big industry. They probably butter everyone speak.

[Love]

Oh, yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

It's so cheap though. We could pay more than 500 for three days. That's how much it costs just to live practically. It's almost cheaper to go on the cruise and pay your own bills.

[Love]

I. I mean, for some of these cheaper ones there, I've seen ones that are like 200 for three days. And I think the tick is like a loss leader. And then you buy food and gamble and on there, kind of like the casino model.

[Abby]

Exactly. Royal Caribbean's like, yeah, those are the nicer ones. If like Carnival, you get those on Groupon, the Carnival cruises. I think the poop cruise was a carnival.

[Love]

That's the 200 ones.

[Ethan Klein]

There's probably a lot of cheap people there too who are like, I'm not spending any money.

[Love]

They get the worst, the drink package. So it's $200 plus drink package, which is like $200 too.

[Dan]

$50 per person per day for Carnival cruise. That's for the lowest tier.

[Ethan Klein]

$50, what the hell?

[Abby]

You just have to get that virus when you go on there. But been like racking save money.

[Dan]

Yeah. That's got to be rough, right?

[Love]

No, it's.

[Zach]

What is that?

[Love]

And then they go on there and get the drink package and they just drink for three days and that's it.

[Galia]

Why.

[Tamara]

Why this exists? Why we're boarding a floating mall just to be shuttled from place to place where you can barely even scratch the surface of the destination. You can barely even dip your toes in the foreign country before you have to get back on the boat at 5pm and then I realized the point of a cruise is not to travel and explore earnestly. It's to exploit cheap labor that can't be regulated by any formal government.

[Dan]

And while providing the cheapest experience possible. Come on. That's not the point. That's all true, but that's not the point of the cruise.

[Ethan Klein]

Come on.

[Abby]

Yeah. The point is you're not supposed to.

[Dan]

The point is that these are all, you know, people that this is the vacation they can afford. And they probably work nine to fives themselves for too little money as well. And they want to go do something fun for a few days with their family. That's. That's the point.

[Ethan Klein]

There is that there is ecosystem where it's cheaper than anything in America.

[Dan]

It's kids, right? It's kitschy. It's kind of awful. And you might get hauntavirus and die, but. But that's the best they could do. I don't know. It's $150, dude.

[Tom]

That could be your only option to go see a few locations.

[Dan]

Right? Yeah.

[Tamara]

That's not cruise line approved.

[Dan]

And I say this as a cruise hater. I just think he's taking a little

[Tamara]

too fulfilling travel experience.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Think of them.

[Dan]

And he's not wrong about the things he's saying.

[Tom]

To be clear, as a kid, I loved it when I went. Went on.

[Dan]

I've heard from many people that they like. I mean, Zach lost his virginity on a cruise.

[Tamara]

Don't even benefit them economically because you're just shuttled and funneled into prepackaged itinerary.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm sure that you. That's not true. You don't benefit the places economically. I'm sure people drop money there and

[Tamara]

all that money is just funneled right back into the cruise line. And I have just never met a soul that's walked off a cruise and said, that was the time of my life.

[Dan]

And overall, you gotta meet more people, brother.

[Ethan Klein]

You just talked.

[Tom]

You.

[Ethan Klein]

In your video. In your video, the girl said, this is the best time I've had in my life. Joey.

[Dan]

His name is not Joey.

[Ethan Klein]

It's Ben. Whatever, bro.

[Love]

Joey's world tour, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

You want respect on your name? Stop lying. You know I loved it.

[Abby]

And it was the only time I left the country.

[Tamara]

Sadness and dread.

[Tom]

Yeah, exactly.

[Tamara]

And all these families. And I know that this.

[Ethan Klein]

But also this guy's by himself. You would have fun, but you're on yourself. You're there on yourself by yourself, bro. Just. Just staring at everyone miserably.

[Dan]

Yeah. Judging everybody else for not earnestly exploring.

[Abby]

Not everybody.

[Dan]

You're a giant YouTuber. You can fly all over the world

[Ethan Klein]

judging working class families, which I, you know, is cool.

[Dan]

Like, that's awesome that he gets to do that for a living.

[Ethan Klein]

Judgement. Working class.

[Tom]

No.

[Dan]

Hate. There's no, not that part. The being able to go exotic places and see the world and everything. I think everybody would love to do that, but like, that's not realistic.

[Ethan Klein]

Right. I still believe we should sink all cruise ships with everybody on it.

[Love]

I agree.

[Ethan Klein]

Take them out.

[Dan]

See, I think we should sink all the cruise ships without everyone. I would think we should evacuate them and then cruise.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Dan]

That's the kind of guy

[Love]

that's part of the risk. Paying 300 bucks for. For five nights or whatever you might

[Dan]

get Sunk, you might say. You might get the hantavirus. You might be covered in by the end of it, but God damn it, you got out of the house.

[Ethan Klein]

You might fall overboard. I mean, that happens, too, people. That happens, too. If you fall off, they're not stopping for you.

[Zach]

You're.

[Love]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

You know what I'm saying, dude? All right, what else we got? So that's the JoJo SeaWalk cruise. It seems like the people that want to have fun, and we're happy for them.

[Tom]

I wanna. I wanna throw a question to you. Oh, wait, this was home. Did everybody like the temporary tattoos that we just put out?

[Ethan Klein]

Because, like, put it on me.

[Tom]

You guys asked for it, and I hope you guys are excited. I just. I wasn't here when you guys announced that it's out.

[Ethan Klein]

Put it on me.

[Tom]

Do you want the rubellite? Which one?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, put it on my wrist.

[Tom]

Or do you wanna the. Got to be.

[Ethan Klein]

I want a rubalite and a ice on my forehead.

[Dan]

Oh, you actually want to do that?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Dan]

That'd be kind of sick.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Yeah, bro.

[Dan]

Let's get iced out, brother.

[Tom]

No, no, we're going on a vacation next week.

[Dan]

Well, it's temperate.

[Ethan Klein]

Do I look like Jack Nicholson? Wipe off.

[Love]

They'll just wipe off, right?

[Dan]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Abby]

It'll come right.

[Dan]

And the answer is yes.

[Tom]

Not immediately.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, if you have rubbing alcohol, it will come right off.

[Dan]

I think that's true.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Here they are. I might probably h3.3shop.com. You can get the tattoo pack. You got the Gatsby, the icy face, H3 pod, poker, memes, guante, rubellite dial, which everybody's excited about. The button.

[Dan]

So thrilled.

[Ethan Klein]

H3 podcast. Peace and love. Okay, you want to start with my forehead? Yeah. Not permanent. Hila.

[Dan]

The other Lina says that she loves them and she got two shout out.

[Abby]

My second favorite, Lena.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, there's a Lyna with an eye.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Abby]

No, she's Lena, though.

[Dan]

Oh, it is Lena.

[Abby]

I know her.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. Yeah, it's perfect. So you take the film up and then it sticks, so you don't have to hold it. You can put it exactly where you want it.

[Zach]

Oh, boy.

[Abby]

Here we go.

[Ethan Klein]

And here, I'll hold this one and then put the rub light.

[Dan]

Charles Manson with the swastika.

[Ethan Klein]

Exactly.

[Dan]

Also, can you flip over your phone, please, because we keep cutting that over. And thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Give me that rubellite. Yeah.

[Dan]

Yes. And it did. We make it clear that we. We launched this on Wednesday, but it was just for VIPs. It is now available for all say that. I think that's, that's, that's part of the confusion there.

[Ethan Klein]

So, guys, go to H3H3 shop. The whole drop is now available for everybody.

[Dan]

For everybody.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, well, if you go there, it's going to make me tick out because it's like right in a weird spot. Okay. Did it stick good?

[Dan]

Sick, dude. That's awesome.

[Ethan Klein]

These are actually really high quality.

[Dan]

Yeah, it worked out really well.

[Zach]

Didn't little Uzi vert have like a gem in his forehead like that?

[Abby]

He had a infinity.

[Dan]

We're not allowed to talk about him.

[Zach]

Oh, is that a bad subject?

[Dan]

Just every time we talk about him, he gets very upset.

[Ethan Klein]

No, it's not him. It's not him. Yeah, no. Lil Uzi versus Matt. Massive star.

[Zach]

Yeah, for sure.

[Ethan Klein]

The other one is some weirdo. Who's the other one that got mad at.

[Love]

Who's little Tracy,

[Zach]

Right? Another little.

[Dan]

Oh, we should have said his name.

[Zach]

Well, now he's gonna be mad.

[Ethan Klein]

He's gonna care. So, guys, head on over to h3h3shop.com. It's available for everybody. You got the guante shirt, the sticker pack, the K ETH101 unisex. Boys rejoice you see overhead. Whoa.

[Dan]

Oh, that applied so clean.

[Ethan Klein]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Hila.

[Abby]

What's that watch you're wearing?

[Dan]

That's my ruby. That's my freaking rubber light.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, is she. Are you trying to mock? She has a nice piece.

[Love]

I'm not gonna.

[Abby]

Oh, I wasn't comparing.

[Ethan Klein]

I know what you're doing.

[Love]

It's better than yours.

[Ethan Klein]

I didn't say anything.

[Love]

I did.

[Ethan Klein]

Good. I'm glad you like hers.

[Love]

Yeah, it's nice.

[Tom]

You. It's almost his birthday. You guys be nice.

[Abby]

Well, when it gets there, it's going

[Ethan Klein]

to be on break. Exactly. Very, very cool and funny.

[Abby]

Well, I think it's the day Michael Jackson died. So just remember that on your birthday

[Ethan Klein]

if you need a happy thought. That's. That is happy.

[Dan]

That one is so crazy.

[Love]

Wait, did. Did we keep that website open?

[Zach]

Yeah, it's been going.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not.

[Zach]

It's not as frequent as the one hour loop.

[Abby]

The MJ sound bites are playing.

[Zach]

That's me actually playing.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, sorry.

[Abby]

Put your phone down.

[Tom]

Lock it. Okay. Up. There we go.

[Ethan Klein]

That looks real.

[Dan]

That looks great.

[Love]

That's a real tattoo.

[Ethan Klein]

That's a real tattoo.

[Dan]

I think it's not, but I think you should make it real.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Tom]

Stop. Ben.

[Zach]

Alan.

[Tom]

Nice, alan.

[Dan]

That's rubaline.

[Love]

All right.

[Ethan Klein]

Hello.

[Tom]

I also wanted to say that I'm looking for people to work with. So if you are an experienced designer in designing products like accessories for what? For Teddy Glow.

[Ethan Klein]

Teddy Glow.

[Tom]

Then you could send an email to Accessory.

[Ethan Klein]

Like what?

[Tom]

What Tagalia at Teddy Glow.

[Ethan Klein]

What's an example of an accessory that Teddy Glow would sell?

[Tom]

I mean like makeup accessories.

[Ethan Klein]

Like a mirror.

[Tom]

Yeah, that could be one.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. Like a brush. Okay. There's two ideas for you.

[Tom]

So Galia, Teddy Glow dot com.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, God. RIP Galia.

[Tom]

Okay. She doesn't use that email a lot, so she said it's okay. Make sure you include a website or an example of your work in the first email.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes. Front load. Put it all right there for us to see. Right, Tom?

[Zach]

Peace and love or it will be tossed.

[Ethan Klein]

What's your advice? Because you recently went through a bunch of applications.

[Zach]

Oh my God, dude, I got so many. It took weeks to go through. Surely, like short and sweet and hit. Hit me with your greatest hits. Yes.

[Tom]

Yeah. Especially it's a designer job. So we want to see your aesthetics, your taste, you know, make sure you include visuals that show us.

[Ethan Klein]

If you have relevant experience, put that. If you have irrelevant experience, don't put. Don't bother, nobody cares.

[Zach]

Lie.

[Ethan Klein]

Don't be like, I worked at Wendy's for a year. That's good that you had a job club, but that. You know what I mean? Am I crazy?

[Zach]

No.

[Tom]

Right? I don't even read the unrelated stuff.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I don't care.

[Abby]

But what if they say they've been day one fans?

[Tom]

We're not gonna read that stuff in this scenario.

[Ethan Klein]

All right. How long we been going here?

[Dan]

Three hours?

[Ethan Klein]

I'm hot.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Zach]

Yeah, you are so hot.

[Ethan Klein]

Damn, dude, I want to suck his dick.

[Dan]

Excuse me.

[Ethan Klein]

Chill.

[Zach]

That's inappropriate, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

That was a sound bite.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Dan]

Listen, I've been getting a lot of donations today.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, that's so wonderful. Thank you guys.

[Dan]

Thank. Some of these.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, we should hit on Ariana and Ethan Slater breakup though.

[Dan]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

But we could do some donis.

[Dan]

I mean, it'll probably be the last thing.

[Love]

So.

[Ethan Klein]

So let's. Dude. Okay. So we were going to wait for Olivia. Something came up. She's just busy. She's going to prepare something when we. When we come back, hopefully. But honestly, this is. This is so sad.

[Dan]

This is so sad. Ariana, is love even real?

[Ethan Klein]

Ethan Slater left pregnant. It's gone. Wife. Yes, love is gone.

[Zach]

And.

[Dan]

Oh, God.

[Ethan Klein]

Rumor has it they did. He would dress as spongebob and she was Sandy. They would role play and they got. They got over it. And then. And then she met Port is on the screen now. I don't know. Basically Sponge Baby. Basically, she's having sex with spongebob. She was, but not anymore, apparently.

[Dan]

That's so sad.

[Ethan Klein]

Honestly, this. This whole thing is so bizarre.

[Dan]

That is not him.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Abby]

I wanted to see if Ethan caught it.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah, of course. I know the difference. It's her brother.

[Tom]

Yeah, we talked about it.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Suck his dick. No, I wouldn't. I don't know him. Maybe if I knew him a little better.

[Zach]

Oh, yes.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm trying to take this thing off.

[Tom]

Why?

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, what?

[Tom]

Oh, why'd you do that?

[Ethan Klein]

It. Because. I'll tell you why. I'm have. It's with my, like, okay. Ocd. It's right on my wrinkles.

[Dan]

Yeah, I guess that would be pretty annoying.

[Ethan Klein]

And it's.

[Tom]

Holy pooped.

[Ethan Klein]

Holy pooped. So this is very tragic. I think it's all part. We remember my first impression of the guy, and obviously I've gained a lot of newfound respect for him. This is a really terrible photo of him because, like, the last one I just looked at, like, he's.

[Abby]

He's.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, you know, he's not like the hottest dude in the world, but this was stunning. This first photo was truly a stunner. It looks like he's got, like, black in between his teeth. Like, he's just crazy, man. Genuine jump scare. Oh, my God.

[Tom]

This is our next

[Galia]

player.

[Ethan Klein]

His name is Ethan Slater, aka Mr. Bob. Mr. Bob, meaning this man played SpongeBob on Broadway.

[Tom]

And. Brilliant.

[Abby]

I'll say it.

[Tamara]

He was brilliant.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, so I can see that they would. They probably connected a lot on. On the musical side of things. Yes, we will. Yes.

[Galia]

The way they meet is via that.

[Ethan Klein]

So if you go to the next. I'm still looking at this photo. I'm taking it in and I'm not making any comments.

[Tom]

No, of course. We're just taking it in, that's all.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen, in the story, we don't know yet, he's in. Interesting looking, right? Exactly, exactly. But what's interesting is he left his wife and now. This isn't edited. I mean, obviously.

[Dan]

You mean this isn't edited.

[Tom]

Why would it be?

[Ethan Klein]

You guys know what I mean?

[Dan]

These are just the two photos lined up.

[Abby]

Oh, I thought it was Harvey.

[Ethan Klein]

The report is on the screen now.

[Dan]

Tall Skeleton. Yeah, see? Thank you. The report from Tall Skeleton has arrived and I have placed it on the screen for your view.

[Ethan Klein]

We. Yeah, no, it's uncanny. I mean, it's absolutely insane. She's having Sex with her brother, basically. Like that's just all there is to it.

[Tom]

I don't think it's.

[Ethan Klein]

I've never seen. I've never seen two different people look so alike.

[Tom]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

What? What do you mean what?

[Tom]

I don't think they look so much alike. I don't.

[Dan]

Let me pull it back.

[Ethan Klein]

What I mean, eyebrows, Same exact eye. Like same exact eye, same mouth.

[Tom]

All these pictures are so weird. I need like a normal picture of her.

[Dan]

Him and the teeth. Her brother has much nicer teeth, frankly.

[Ethan Klein]

All the more reason to fuck him.

[Dan]

Well, that's the thing. This is cruel. But he's kind of a busted version of her brother.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Dan]

Guy said it looks like a before and after. Before he got a bunch of work done before his glow up for a stroke.

[Ethan Klein]

Ethan Slater flies solo for first event after their split. Oh no.

[Dan]

This is going to be too painful.

[Ethan Klein]

Poor Mr. Slater. Newborn child, his wife to. To run off with his co star. And we all knew. We all knew this was going to happen. Apparently.

[Dan]

No, I thought it was going to last. They built such a strong foundation of infidelity.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, apparently Ariana has a reputation for doing this. And people are speculating that she already has another man. It's pretty crazy.

[Abby]

Thank you.

[Zach]

Next.

[Abby]

That's her song.

[Ethan Klein]

Yep.

[Dan]

Now he's just that guy.

[Ethan Klein]

You can sense that he's just the sadness. The despair is absolutely tangible. Look at that smile. The. Oh brother. There's so much pain. You lose so much fan.

[Dan]

Where does it. Where do you go from here?

[Love]

Nothing.

[Abby]

Back to your wife and kid.

[Ethan Klein]

He's definitely gonna.

[Dan]

Awkward.

[Ethan Klein]

He's gonna beg. Yeah, he's gonna beg. He's gonna be.

[Dan]

Good luck with that.

[Tom]

But you know, I think.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, go on. You tell us what to do.

[Tom]

Saikuno, you know, I think so. Is that.

[Ethan Klein]

What should he do?

[Tom]

Thank you so much for coming.

[Ethan Klein]

No, that's the problem. The problem is he came see you

[Tom]

guys next time, I hope.

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, no, we're not. There's no next time.

[Tom]

I forgot what I did when I ended. Did I just leave?

[Ethan Klein]

No, you cheated on your girlfriend, man. It's not funny.

[Tom]

I think so.

[Dan]

Yeah. No, we know something.

[Tom]

Thanks for coming.

[Ethan Klein]

He is learning nothing, man. That's kind of a funny TMZ video. Cuz nothing happens. He just standing.

[Dan]

He's just looking awkward as hell.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's see. The breakup was reported June 8th, so this is pretty fresh, man.

[Abby]

Three years together.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh brother. Well, three. Honestly, that's longer than I expected. Yeah, Hollywood, three years.

[Tom]

Pretty good yeah.

[Dan]

Wait, was it really three years years ago?

[Ethan Klein]

First wicket came out. 2023.

[Love]

Damn.

[Dan]

I think.

[Love]

Think what?

[Ethan Klein]

The sources close to the former couple say that they have been quietly separated for months before the news became public. Ethan made his first appearance since the breakup at Room Romeo and Juliet. I know he want roomo. I know he want Romeo. Sorry, English.

[Abby]

Who's.

[Ethan Klein]

Does Romeo have an ugly friend?

[Dan]

No, not really.

[Ethan Klein]

They're all hot. Hot.

[Dan]

Is it Marcusio? Is it Mercucci? I'm probably saying it right.

[Ethan Klein]

Is that the hot head?

[Dan]

Yeah, it's the hot head. But I. I think he was like a ladies man.

[Abby]

So.

[Dan]

So. No, I think he rolled around with a bunch of hot dudes. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Was he in Romeo and Juliet? What was his role?

[Abby]

Let me see.

[Dan]

No, he was just there.

[Ethan Klein]

Isn't he just one of the family members that he, like, fights and kills? So he just dies real fast?

[Dan]

Tibalt.

[Ethan Klein]

Neither Ariana nor Ethan appears to have publicly explained. We don't need an explanation. They met while doing Wicked. The relationship became public in July 2023. Yada yada. Ariana separated from her tall, handsome, chivalrous nightly.

[Dan]

Okay, he was not in it. He was.

[Ethan Klein]

Who invited him then?

[Dan]

I think it was just a premiere in New York.

[Ethan Klein]

You know, it'd be cool if spongebob came. Only hot people should be allowed it that.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Ariana separated from Dalton Gomez and Ethan separated from Lily J. Rep. The relationship was controversial because Ethan and Lee J. Had a young child and Lily publicly said that her family had become collateral damaged. Ouch. Either. Of course, divorce from Lily J. Was finalized in 2012. And if you think that's interesting, then.

[Abby]

2024.

[Ethan Klein]

2024.

[Dan]

The police chief is calling it a horseplay incident.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, here's one way to put it. I guess it's a nice way to put it. That's literally all I have to say about that

[Dan]

Alan Rip Allen.

[Ethan Klein]

He has cute hair, right? His cute hair. Maybe he brushed, started brushing more. I don't know. It's hard to tell. Can I see more photos? Let me see more photos. This is teeth that fucked up Ethan Slater teeth. Oh, yeah. Google knows. Exactly. Oh, they're like trying to make him look better. Like, bro, do something, please.

[Dan]

Oh, there's Michael.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, God, his hair looks nightmarish here. Dude, no, no, no, no. It's like frizzy and thin and jelly. Yes, it's everything. No, no.

[Zach]

Yes. No. Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

No, no.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, they gave him nice teeth here. Eh? Man, look at them. They want you to be. Dude. Yes. Wow. Yeah, so much better. What'd they do? They gave him teeth.

[Tom]

They shaved his beard, and they made

[Love]

him not ginger

[Zach]

up.

[Ethan Klein]

Actually, they smoothed his skin.

[Tom]

Eyebrows.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, his eyebrows are a little more like. Yeah, thick. They're darker.

[Zach]

His ears look better.

[Abby]

Smaller.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, they are his eyes. They changed his eyes. They gave him his.

[Galia]

So.

[Tom]

Right. They made him. No ginger.

[Ethan Klein]

They basically look ginger.

[Dan]

Erasure.

[Tom]

That's not cool.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. You are not ugly. You just don't know what suits your features. No, you edited it his stuff. You're no change the shape of his eyes didn't.

[Tom]

They changed everything about him.

[Zach]

Yeah,

[Ethan Klein]

you're just ginger. Look at this guy, bro. Hey, Ariana, you want to go have sex with me? She's like, enough of this. Three years with this guy, enough.

[Zach]

You know, bro, I don't be packing straight.

[Ethan Klein]

There is no shot. Zach, you.

[Zach]

Something was correct. He. You know, bro. I know.

[Ethan Klein]

There is no shot. This guy.

[Zach]

Mallet like a can of dog food.

[Abby]

He squirt pants, baby.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Ethan Slater, full body.

[Zach]

What are you going to look at?

[Ethan Klein]

I just want to see. No, I don't. I'm not going to look at his pants. I just want to see, like, how.

[Dan]

You're definitely looking.

[Ethan Klein]

No, you're not. I just want to see how tall he is.

[Dan]

That's okay.

[Ethan Klein]

How's he built?

[Love]

What's it called? Print something.

[Dan]

I mean, I. Not to defend him too much, but he, you know, he's like a really talented dancer and stuff. He's probably in very good shape.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, I think he's in great shape.

[Galia]

Yeah?

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Tamara]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at the left.

[Dan]

Look at him with his shirt on.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, okay. Oh, SpongeBob was. Hey, now, come on now. What are you talking about? Okay, sir.

[Love]

Never mind.

[Ethan Klein]

He's got some assets you shouldn't have.

[Dan]

He's got some assets, that's for sure.

[Ethan Klein]

But now let's see. Let's see him in, like, a nice, like, flattering photo shoot. Ethan Slater, shirtless. Let's see what this guy's got.

[Abby]

I found a poll on this subject.

[Love]

How did you find this?

[Ethan Klein]

Did you Google. You don't want to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of got, like, steroid gut.

[Dan]

Looks a little bulgy, I guess. Maybe. I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

No, he. He's. He's dense. He's thick.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

But he's also giving, like Woody Allen, which isn't good.

[Tom]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

Like young Woody Allen?

[Tom]

I don't see that.

[Ethan Klein]

The hair. Oh, you guys are so wrong. He looks like.

[Galia]

Yes, he Absolutely is.

[Ethan Klein]

He's giving young Woody Allen.

[Zach]

Was Woody Allen ripped?

[Ethan Klein]

No, no, no.

[Dan]

If you're just talking about the hair.

[Galia]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

And I guarantee this kid's Jewish. Guarantee it.

[Galia]

Don't say that.

[Love]

No way.

[Galia]

Don't say that. Why would you assume that?

[Ethan Klein]

Zach, weigh in before you can't.

[Tom]

But I feel like Slater is not Jewish.

[Love]

He's ginger.

[Zach]

Maybe they changed the name.

[Ethan Klein]

I've met Ginger Juice. No way possible. I'm. I'm. Zach, you're taking too long. You're googling it, bro.

[Zach]

I'm not.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm SpongeBob Jewish.

[Abby]

Do you want the answer?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, that's not yet. Let Zach. Let's call it first. He's Jewish. I knew.

[Zach]

NSA Jew.

[Galia]

Yeah, yeah, well, that didn't really. You took too long, Zach back.

[Ethan Klein]

You didn't know this dude was a joke.

[Tom]

Really?

[Ethan Klein]

And that's a. That's a. That's a. I would have said. No, that's a. That's an adventurous guess because he's redheaded, like, and ginger coated. But I've seen Jews like this. And I know a Jew.

[Galia]

I've seen Jews like this before.

[Love]

It's rare, but it happens, you know?

[Tamara]

True.

[Abby]

I've seen Arab dudes like this, too.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm like, redheads.

[Abby]

Yeah. Redheads. No, completely pasty like him, too.

[Love]

Too.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

No way. Yeah.

[Dan]

No, that gene can.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Galia]

Infiltrate any community.

[Ethan Klein]

They can affect all genes. I've seen Mexicans like this.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Show me a black ginger. Sure.

[Zach]

Oh, yeah, I've seen that.

[Ethan Klein]

You've seen a black. Yeah, I'm gonna stop saying it.

[Tom]

Yeah. It's really not Woody Allen coated for me. I don't know why. Do you guys see the. How do you see that?

[Ethan Klein]

But aren't these people's hair dyed?

[Dan]

Maybe some. But.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, yeah, that's. Yeah. Interesting. That's a cool look, actually.

[Tom]

Yeah, I agree.

[Abby]

I sent that poll in Discord, if you're curious.

[Dan]

There you go.

[Ethan Klein]

Y' all think Ethan. Ethan Slater has a thick cut, veiny. Okay. Thick cut, veiny dick with ginger pubes.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, hold on, hold on.

[Love]

I want to see the search results.

[Ethan Klein]

Way too many. You search for. There's way too many describers there. Just say. Is he. Just say. Is he hung or something?

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, I thought this was us.

[Tom]

No, no, no.

[Dan]

This is an existing.

[Ethan Klein]

Why the. Would anyone else type? And also, why would they word it like that? I thought we were just being, like, silly.

[Tom]

No, this is Twitter.

[Ethan Klein]

So apparently he has a thick cut, veiny dick with ginger pubes. So I Mean, he's definitely. He probably is. Cut. He's Jewish. He definitely has ginger pubes. What is on the screen now? Thick and veiny. I just don't know.

[Zach]

Me and Zach know. And so does the pole. He's got a mallet in his pants, bro. Damn right.

[Ethan Klein]

Like, you can slap a.

[Zach]

Slap a gong with that thing, bro.

[Abby]

Spatula.

[Zach]

Boom.

[Ethan Klein]

You guys are gross. Shame on this.

[Zach]

Hear that? That's his bro.

[Dan]

That's not even a gong, dude. That's just like a. That's like a pan for an oven. That's a oven pan.

[Zach]

That's a dong, not a gun. Yeah, you're right.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, well, apparently, he's got it going on.

[Dan]

Yes, yes.

[Zach]

I'm excited by that.

[Ethan Klein]

Hold on. Oh, you hold on. Hold on. Young Woody Allen.

[Dan]

Okay, we don't have to convince us.

[Ethan Klein]

No, you guys are worked. Poo pooing. Oh, my God. The resemblance is uncanny. You guys,

[Love]

maybe on the bottom left there that. That guy

[Ethan Klein]

is such a creep. So ridiculous. Hey, I'm gonna marry my own daughter.

[Dan]

Best wishes. Wait, what does that say to. What's that?

[Abby]

Second.

[Ethan Klein]

He's kind of ginger.

[Galia]

To Adam.

[Ethan Klein]

He's kind of ginger?

[Dan]

Yeah. Little bit.

[Ethan Klein]

Please, please don't. You cannot disagree with me. Whatever.

[Abby]

I see it in that photo.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you. He's lifting. Huh? We caught him mid lift. Ethan Slater, muscles on Tick tock. Let's go. Wait, what? They just brought me to a search result page, but Trisha's on it. Trisha's number three. His body is like. You know, Trisha was right. Ethan Slater looks impress everyone. Muscular and stuff.

[Tom]

I'm like.

[Dan]

But maybe Trisha was right about this.

[Ethan Klein]

I've been saying, even Moses, who was standing on top of the bell, this clip has, like, no views, and it's still on my page. Like, I can't escape. 50 likes. 50 likes.

[Galia]

I knows what you like to see.

[Dan]

Yeah, you click on it.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm never on TikTok it.

[RFK's Sister]

Work.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Night. All right, let me see what this. Okay, King, I see what's going on there. All right. Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude. Hell, yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Okay.

[Love]

Okay, I think you're turning.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I guess. I think maybe in person he has more like, aura.

[Abby]

Yeah, yeah, I'm guessing he has aura on stage.

[Ethan Klein]

You're guessing he's a Broadway star. But I mean, like, strong, strong masculine aura. Okay.

[Dan]

Aura.

[Ethan Klein]

I love my aura. Veiny. And cut. Well, I guess there's really not much to say. They broke up.

[Dan]

They broke Up.

[Ethan Klein]

I guess we're just pointing and laughing. We're just pointing and laughing. I think Olivia probably would have more interesting commentary, but.

[Dan]

Bye. Bye.

[Ethan Klein]

You lose.

[Dan]

Flush them, Zach. Like we're a morning zoo radio show.

[Tom]

Are you guys seeing a lot about how.

[Dan]

There it is.

[Tom]

There's a lot of people coming concerned about her because she looks like she lost a lot of weight.

[Dan]

Yeah. She does not look. Yeah, yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't talk about women's weight.

[Tom]

Nice.

[Ethan Klein]

I didn't notice.

[Dan]

Probably should.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Dan]

But yeah, I've seen it's definitely not. Not that healthy looking.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Okay. I'm going to move into thanking all these fine people who've been donating. Thank you to all of you. We'll try and get through as many as I can. So I respectfully ask that everyone in the room.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, how long we've been going. This is our last episode. We can meander. Okay. I'll try to meander though.

[Zach]

Shut the up.

[Dan]

Shut the.

[Ethan Klein]

You asshole.

[Dan]

Drea at the top of the show said we outside having a relaxing. Have a relaxing summer break, everyone. Thank you, Drea. Zach here said have a well deserved break. H3 fan. Thank you, Oliver Tree still in shock. But your videos this week have really helped many of us. Life goes on and on and on and on.

[Ethan Klein]

Four of them in there.

[Dan]

Thank you, Zach. I've donated $10 so many times without it being acknowledged. That's damn that I should have just done one time 100 and get the Ethan praise.

[Ethan Klein]

How much was that? Don't up.

[Dan]

I'm here reading your $10.

[Tom]

Holy poop.

[Ethan Klein]

So they got it.

[Dan]

I'm going to. I'm going to fact check them right now.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, you're being called out, Nathan. And you're giving air. Look at the attention you're getting.

[Tom]

But thank you, Nathan.

[Ethan Klein]

That's so kind.

[Tom]

So kind.

[Ethan Klein]

Hi. This is Nate also.

[Tom]

That's a beautiful name.

[Love]

Thank you.

[Tom]

You're welcome.

[Ethan Klein]

Why don't you go by Nathan?

[Tom]

He does.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. You know, only my family and like close friends call me Nathan. Oh, your friends actually call you Nathan?

[Dan]

I call him Nathan all the time.

[Ethan Klein]

Growing up, I was called Nathan. Wasn't till I was older I got called Nate.

[Love]

Huh.

[Tom]

Do you have a preference?

[Ethan Klein]

I. I'm not used to people calling me Nate.

[Tom]

Really?

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, why is everyone calling you Nate? I was introduced to you as Nate.

[Tom]

Yeah, you were introduced.

[Dan]

I call him Nathan all the time.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, like I said, once I became an adult, people start calling me Nate. But you said you're not comfortable being called Nate. I Didn't I said my. My close friends and family call me Nathan?

[Tom]

No, I asked if you have a preference and I guess you said you

[Love]

weren't used to it.

[Tom]

You said you weren't used to it.

[Ethan Klein]

When I was younger. Yeah, I'm used to it now. I prefer Nate now. So you introduced.

[Tom]

Yeah, you do.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, you do. Okay. You gave us the opposite answer.

[Dan]

Yeah, so a little confusing. I went back in time. I. I went back several Super Jet spreadsheets chronologically to arrive at May 13, where Nathan donated and said, hi, Tamar, can you remind me in 30 minutes to take my medicine? It's very important that I don't forget. I remember reading that one, Nathan. I remember reading that one. I thought it was funny that you were asking for a 30 minute reminder.

[Ethan Klein]

He didn't take his medicine.

[Dan]

And then there was another one. They said, hello, it's not even close to my birthday, but can specifically Dan and Ethan please make up a secret handshake for my enjoyment right now? I didn't read that one because it makes no sense. If it's a secret, then you won't be able to enjoy it, Nathan. I remember seeing it and thinking, that makes no sense.

[Ethan Klein]

We need time to do that again. To do impromptu secret handshake called out.

[Dan]

So I don't know what we're talking about. I don't know what we're talking about.

[Tom]

You need to simplify your messages.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Be more focused with what you're making.

[Ethan Klein]

Like you're making, like, extravagant requests, you know?

[Dan]

Anyways, thank you, Nathan.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you, Nate.

[Dan]

We appreciate all the donations. Not you, the good Nate. Good, Nathan.

[Love]

I'm good.

[Dan]

My birthday is the same as our lord and savior, Ethan Klein. Only legends are born on June 25th. Happy birthday, Ethan. And me. Can I get a gorgeous? Because love is also the man. That's from Christie.

[Ethan Klein]

You want a real vibe.

[Love]

Gorgeous. Gorgeous.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, was that a real one?

[Love]

Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous.

[Ethan Klein]

Gorgeous.

[Tom]

Gorgeous.

[Love]

Gorgeous.

[Galia]

Gorgeous.

[Zach]

Gorgeous. Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Gorgeous. Thank you very much.

[Dan]

Enjoy your break, fam. This is a $200 donation.

[Zach]

Damn.

[Dan]

From Katie Holiday. I think we actually mentioned this when I came in, but enjoy your break, fam. Love you.

[Ethan Klein]

You might say, enjoy your holiday much.

[Dan]

Yes, you might say that, Ethan.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you so much. That's so generous and kind of you. I'm so grateful.

[Dan]

Thank you, Katie. This is a $50 donation from Amanda Bloom. The most I've ever donated to, say, have such a great break. Ethan and H. And we are. Happy birthday. We're birthday twins. Why am I having such a hard Time with this.

[Ethan Klein]

They have my birthday.

[Dan]

They have the same birthday as you.

[Ethan Klein]

June 25th. Shout out.

[Dan]

Two in a row.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, I wanted to actually give a reminder that we're going to be on break, but Oliver trees having a birthday that we should observe. June. June 29th. Whatever that means. But just play his music and think about him. I guess

[Dan]

it's a good way.

[Ethan Klein]

June 29th. That's a Monday. Not this Monday, but next Monday. So mark it down.

[Abby]

There you go.

[Dan]

Let's see, we have one from Lavender Worry Lavender. My fiance and I are getting married next week. Would absolutely love well wishes from my favorite podcast and perhaps any fitting adages, advice, or sage wisdom. Well, congratulations. And I don't have any. I'm not very wise.

[Ethan Klein]

My advice is always, don't take advice from people because they. Because the only advice that actually works is stuff that you learn through experience, you know? So don't listen to people on the

[Dan]

Internet, including you and this advice. Advice right now.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes.

[Dan]

It's a contradiction. There makes no sense.

[Ethan Klein]

So it's easy to follow. This one. This one's easy to follow.

[Zach]

I have advice. If you have kids, don't wash your hands.

[Ethan Klein]

True.

[Zach]

Don't wash your hands.

[Ethan Klein]

Your children will be.

[Zach]

They need herd immunity. Do not ever wash your hands.

[Ethan Klein]

That is good.

[Dan]

Ashton Kutri, right? Wasn't he a no hand washing?

[Zach]

Oh, Gary Vee.

[Ethan Klein]

No. Ask. Their whole controversy was they said they didn't wash their kids for three days or something. They watch the kids every three days.

[Dan]

Gotcha.

[Ethan Klein]

Gary Vee's the one that says he doesn't wash his hands. I also don't wash my hands ever. Right.

[Galia]

I really believe it.

[Ethan Klein]

Ever. He really believe it. The same way I think about parenting is the same way I think about washing hands.

[Galia]

I think that we've created bubbles.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Zach]

What do you mean?

[Ethan Klein]

I think about parents, like, watch. Get Perella 2. The hell is your point, G? Everyone's dead with the flu. Nobody's dying of the flu. I mean, people are, but now, physically, that's.

[Dan]

Yeah, people die from the flu.

[Ethan Klein]

Nope, nope, nope. Shut up, dirty hands.

[Dan]

All right, let me keep going.

[Ethan Klein]

Old doo hand Gary V. Congratulations again, by the way.

[Tom]

Yeah, Very excited for you.

[Dan]

Will the new set make. Make Ethan look 10 years younger?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, it should. That's kind of the genesis for this whole thing. I was like, I don't want a green screen behind me because I look like a. I want a Dan lighting. I don't want Ethan lighting. I want Dan.

[Dan]

Okay, thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you for saying that.

[Dan]

I'm get another person who's getting married tomorrow. Shout out to my beautiful fiance. Fiance Danny. Well, congratulations. The slow potato. Oh, you just got. You just. Just got uncle alerted.

[Tom]

Oh, I finally see it for the first time.

[Ethan Klein]

What does it look like?

[Tom]

It was like a little red siren.

[Ethan Klein]

Why'd I get uncle alerted? What I do?

[Tom]

I don't know.

[Dan]

Nate has it. Yeah, it looks like that. I mean, you're just always uning. I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, how do I see the unclert?

[Dan]

Nate, you just have the chat open.

[Tom]

It was right there.

[Ethan Klein]

That's what it looks like?

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Really? Oh, yeah, kind of. It's like a siren.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not a shit, but it's over.

[Dan]

No, that's not actually it. It's just. It looks like that, but it was over.

[Tom]

The chat.

[Dan]

Yes.

[Tom]

Which is kind of a weird spot.

[Ethan Klein]

Am I being armed right now?

[Tom]

If you want to read chat.

[Zach]

Nice watch.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you for noticing. I.

[Zach]

You were putting it out there. I just wanted to give you a compliment.

[Ethan Klein]

Which. Cut to me, Nate.

[Dan]

Is that Rubellite?

[Ethan Klein]

Rubellite? You crazy? Does that look like Rubellite to you?

[Dan]

I'm asking. I thought you were supposed to be an expert.

[Ethan Klein]

I know what rubellite is.

[Dan]

Okay, well, could you just answer me instead of giving me the.

[Tom]

Someone gave Dan an unclert.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, listen.

[Tom]

Yeah, I know.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean, for this question, listen, for the amount you'd be like, oh, rubellite, you should know what it looks like. You don't need an explanation for me. Genius geologist.

[Tom]

Do you know what's a ruby?

[Dan]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

Dun dun.

[Dan]

I don't know anything.

[Ethan Klein]

You ever play video games? You never collected a ruby?

[Dan]

Okay, I do know what a ruby is, but rubellite. Anyways, I'm moving on. The slow potato said, I'm getting married tomorrow. Shout out to my. Oh, I read that one. Sorry. Congratulations again.

[Ethan Klein]

Congrats.

[Dan]

Uncle er, Uncle Erd has come in. Uncle er, Uncle Erd. On the screen.

[Tom]

You see it?

[Dan]

You see it?

[Ethan Klein]

I don't have the chat open. Let me open it real quick. Listen, guys, I know some of you be like, oh, he's showing Chat it. Honestly, the fact that I don't have chat open is a sign of incredible fortitude. And it doesn't distract me. I don't get one guide. Yeah, I don't get two guide. And also, I don't steal jokes from chat like all of the other. All the other streamers.

[Dan]

So true.

[Tom]

Gaia sent you a screenshot of what it looks like, though.

[Ethan Klein]

I see. I see the uncle right Now? Yeah, big time. I'm getting an active uncle alert right now. Oh, my gosh.

[Tom]

Oh, my God. There's a hundred dollar donation.

[Dan]

Yeah, $100 donation. I'll get to that in a minute. Let me keep going down this list here. Nation, we got a. Just found out I'm not getting a return offer for my competitive internship. Would love some encouragement from the family or crew. I should be saving my money now, but whatever. No, I didn't ask you to tell me the biggest bummer news in the world. That is a whole big bucket of bummer. It is Friday, Caitlyn o', Neill, and it is Friday. Sorry, them. Caitlyn.

[Tom]

Wait, what? Now there's a turtle drinking water. What is that?

[Dan]

There's all kinds of.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, hold on. I've only ever seen uncle there. I want to see turtle drinking water.

[Tom]

He's gone.

[Dan]

Yeah, you gotta be quick.

[Ethan Klein]

I need a Galaxy bro if I really want to feel fulfilled like Jason.

[Dan]

Now, I don't know if they have.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo, tell them what, Jason. Tell them what to do. 648 people in here and we can't hit the target. Come on, guys. Come on. I want some galaxies. Get it, get it, get it. I want galaxies in chat, yo. Get it, get it. Come on, guys.

[Zach]

Come on.

[Ethan Klein]

Come on, guys. That's ridiculous.

[Abby]

Sent a gg.

[Ethan Klein]

You're all just sitting there asleep. You're all just sitting there. Nick, Boris 10 Gifty. Thank you so much. That's so kind of you.

[Dan]

Wait, A.B. you sent a $2 sticker and cast casserole? That's different, dude.

[Love]

That's an.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait. You sent a sticker? What does that mean?

[Dan]

It's a totally different type of donation.

[Love]

How do you see a super shot with an emoji?

[Dan]

Super chat with an emoji.

[Abby]

I don't even see the jewels.

[Ethan Klein]

I didn't.

[Abby]

Is it only on mobile?

[Ethan Klein]

Might be only on mobile. You don't see the jewels.

[Abby]

All right, use your card. He's laughing out.

[Tom]

Oh, these things are so stupid.

[Ethan Klein]

This dude can't see the jewels.

[Dan]

Yo, this cat is DJing, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay, our chat is straight up lit right now. Yo, Bobby Mack, can we clip Ethan saying, oh, Bobby tomorrow. What the. When did I say that? Oh, Bobby tomorrow. Please add my B day to the calendar. July 31st.

[Dan]

It.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know if we're still doing that, but tomorrow's in the laboratory right now. Nah, we ain't doing that.

[Dan]

Nick Boris donated 10 podcast memberships.

[Love]

Thank you.

[Tom]

That's the same guy that donated $100 Holy poop. 10 gifted.

[Ethan Klein]

Holy poop.

[Dan]

Thank you, Cassie. Roll number three. Also gifted. 10 just.

[Tom]

We got a whole big thank you so much.

[Dan]

Train of them going. Okay, let me keep going. Caitlin, I'm sorry you didn't get the internship, but it's their loss.

[Ethan Klein]

There's more free unpaid employment right around the corner. There you go.

[Dan]

$50 from Fairy Funk Said congrats on the new set.

[Ethan Klein]

It's the mental institution. Well, congrats when it's. Congratulate us when it's done and we don't hate it, which is my fear.

[Dan]

It's my cousin Margaret's birthday today. We both are huge fans of the show, and I'm so happy to have have her to bond with over all the H3 inside jokes. Zach, could you please.

[Ethan Klein]

What is happening? I just see a bunch of sent gifts, but nothing's happening. I see a shitload of sent gifts, but I don't see anything on the screen. Do you see that?

[Dan]

Yeah, I. Yeah.

[Tom]

I don't know what they are.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, it's just this little tiny thing.

[Tom]

Little, tiny. These are so stupid.

[Ethan Klein]

I get a microphone, a laughing disco ball, a heart with wings, an ice cream. Six, seven. It's so small. Okay, well, thank you for the gifted guys. I wish it was bigger. It's out of my control. Maybe if you sent a galaxy, it'd be big.

[Dan]

I think that they just show one at a time and they're coming in too fast right now is the problem.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you for the gifties. Excited about that on that, Tom?

[Zach]

I'm super excited.

[Ethan Klein]

Go ahead, Dan.

[Dan]

It's my cousin Margaret's birthday today. We're both huge fans of. And I'm so happy to have her to bomb with with all the H3 inside jokes. Guys. Zach, can you please, pretty please play the McClunkey sound bite for her?

[Zach]

I definitely can.

[Dan]

Thank you very much. A whole $100 donation from Tay Jude.

[Tom]

Wow.

[Dan]

Not. I'm not going to read the message.

[Ethan Klein]

Tay Jude don't make it bad.

[Dan]

You know. You know why I'm not reading it, Tay. You know why?

[Ethan Klein]

Take a sad song.

[Dan]

I respect the donation.

[Ethan Klein]

Make it better.

[Tom]

I don't know why I can't do

[Dan]

that to the audience. I just can't.

[Ethan Klein]

Tay to Jew.

[Dan]

Tay Jude.

[Tom]

What could it.

[Dan]

You know what you did?

[Ethan Klein]

What? Then I'm singing Hey Jude. No.

[Dan]

What's talking to you?

[Ethan Klein]

Who are you talking to?

[Dan]

You're talking to the donator who donated a hundred dollars.

[Tom]

Apparently she wrote something so awful that Dan will not read it.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not okay. Jesus.

[Tom]

Is it mean?

[Dan]

It's mean to me.

[Ethan Klein]

It's mean to me.

[Tom]

That sounds funny.

[Dan]

Thank you though.

[Abby]

Damn.

[Ethan Klein]

You got gate capped by Dan. Whatever it was they know exactly exactly what they did Was it That might be if they say they're gonna shoot up their school you better say what it was.

[Dan]

No nothing illegal.

[Ethan Klein]

So we can all okay Nothing MX said.

[Dan]

Hey everybody. My 30th birthday is on the 27th. I was hoping Ethan could send me good vibes. My My breast MRI came back positive and I have oh good. That's a follow up with breast ultrasound next Thursday. I'm high risk.

[Tom]

I have positive is good or bad.

[Ethan Klein]

It's positive.

[Dan]

It's good it you never know what

[Ethan Klein]

the metal positive is cheery no it

[Tom]

could be bad if you're well this

[Ethan Klein]

so positive is negative.

[Dan]

We're sending positive vibes that we understand I'm being silly.

[Ethan Klein]

It sounds like they had a concerning mammogram and so I'm gonna spirit bomb.

[Abby]

Yeah that means they found an abnormality

[Ethan Klein]

Everybody spirit bomb the the breasts. This is for the breasts.

[Dan]

This is for the jugs.

[Ethan Klein]

For the jugs made. May your jugs be captured by any by tips or fun. No you're not be captured by cancer but be captured by tomorrow coming out

[Abby]

but most positive findings are benign. So okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh that's nice to know. Maybe so just to follow it a little encouragement there.

[Dan]

Hopefully it goes well. My birthday is June 28th and I got to spend my golden birthday with you guys at the Greek two years ago.

[Ethan Klein]

Right.

[Dan]

June 28th. I'm 30 this year. Could I get a happy 30th from my H3 besties?

[Ethan Klein]

Love you all forever 30.

[Dan]

Thank you Summer. Happy birthday.

[Ethan Klein]

Is that the golden one 30?

[Dan]

No. They were saying at the Greek was two years ago was their golden birthday 28. Golden birthday is when your birthday. Oh your age is the day of the month.

[Ethan Klein]

Got it.

[Love]

It's not the year Year. No. Really?

[Dan]

Well thank you. Tom. When do we get new caffeine free strawberry lemonade?

[Zach]

Yes, I they said it'll be available in two weeks and they sent that Monday so maybe another week. Stay tuned.

[Dan]

Stay tuned. That's from May Malinger. Henriksen Melberg.

[Ethan Klein]

Mel so sweeter.

[Love]

Oh yeah. That is Swedish. Mountburg.

[Dan]

Mountburg. Hercsen.

[Ethan Klein]

Herczen.

[Love]

That sounds Finnish.

[Dan]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Hercsen.

[Dan]

Oh it's Norwegian. From the currency.

[Ethan Klein]

We got it all wrong.

[Dan]

Both wrong.

[Ethan Klein]

Close.

[Dan]

Happy early birthday Birthday twin another birthday 20 years Ethan from June 25th baby to another. Thanks for all the laughs and the inspiring me to get healthier. H3 has been a huge comfort through four years as a stage. Stay at home mom. Have an amazing vacation. Peace and love. That's from Brittany Markey. Thank you very much, Brittany.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you so much.

[Dan]

Gonna miss you all.

[Ethan Klein]

Happy birthday.

[Dan]

My birthday is the same as on Oliver's on the 29th. Can I get a happy 22nd birthday also? Ethan Youngen, have you played the Lego games with your boys? There's Batman and Jurassic park ones.

[Ethan Klein]

Yes.

[Dan]

They're fun, silly games with lots of stormy buildings and puzzles. Puzzles. Love you all.

[Ethan Klein]

I have fun but we never got, we never like completed one. I was looking at games playing the Steam deck and you be the Batman one has like overwhelmingly positive feedback. Now I'm not gonna play it but that is funny that they. Lego is crazy, bro. I don't know.

[Dan]

I've heard most of those logo games. I know people really like the LEGO Star wars game.

[Ethan Klein]

You know which one we've been playing is the Open. There's Lego Worlds. That one's very fun and cool.

[Zach]

Nice.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Well, thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Ruben

[Dan]

made it to my first show during the actual lifetime. From Danielle. I'll miss listening to you guys at work. Have an amazing break. Peace and love.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you, Danielle. We'll be back.

[Dan]

We'll be back. Different. Great. I need, I need advice from financial advisor. Yeah, I just got thirty thousand dollar bonus from work. What should I do with it? Dude, are you. Is that a real question? Is that a real question?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah. Buy a Rolex.

[Dan]

That's not what I've been talking about.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, I don't know anything about your financial situation, but.

[Dan]

Let me guess. Find out from the Internet whether he actually is.

[Ethan Klein]

I mean if you don't need it in like an emergency fund sometimes, then obviously, yeah, you should put in the S and P 500.

[Dan]

There it is. There it is. But regardless, this show is not giving financial advice. That's true. He is not a financial advisor. Loch ness Drums donated $50 and said ice cream. Fun. Get sprinkles for tomorrow. Have a safe summer everyone. Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Loch Ness kind. Thank you.

[Dan]

I work at an ice cream shop and we're open from 12 to 10. We get a few people throughout the day but the real crowd doesn't start to come in until like 5pm oh, thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, it's a dessert. I mean dessert, but I'm just saying you can eat it anytime.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Dan]

Courtney White moving the goal post. Yeah, a little bit.

[Ethan Klein]

They're open at 10:00am my God, what more do you need to know?

[Dan]

Courtney White said, let me float an idea. Give every crew a stream deck with their own personalized sound bites and. Or video blurbs.

[Ethan Klein]

Chaos. Too many bad ideas. Terrible idea.

[Dan]

Too many cooks in the kitchen.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you, though, for the suggestion.

[Dan]

And Zach is very, like. He's.

[Ethan Klein]

He's king of his domain.

[Dan]

He's the king of his domain.

[Ethan Klein]

Domain.

[Dan]

Like, he doesn't need other people interfering with that.

[Zach]

Why, thank you.

[Dan]

Yeah, of course. Thank you for the donation, though. And I understand the sense.

[Ethan Klein]

Terrible suggestion.

[Dan]

When Zach. When Zach isn't here, we get to experiment a little bit, but when he's here, it's best everybody else just stay out of the way.

[Ethan Klein]

But wonderful donation that I'm grateful for. Thank you.

[Dan]

Let's see. Hey, guys, it's my 29th birthday, and I had my IVF frozen embryo transfer this week. Oh, thanks, family, for keeping me laughing through the pain. Can I please get a love. Where's my Chumpa Loompa? That's from Alexis.

[Love]

Kobe.

[Ethan Klein]

Get those embryos out of the freezer.

[Love]

From everywhere. Oh, yeah, from everywhere.

[Dan]

Let's see. Quinn donated $10 and said, the staghorn break brings me no joy,

[Ethan Klein]

but I'll do it.

[Dan]

They just said they didn't. They hate it.

[Love]

I, I.

[Ethan Klein]

That's kind of nice.

[Love]

Y' all are being. I love this dag horn.

[Ethan Klein]

Most people do. Love.

[Dan]

Yeah, every once in a while.

[Love]

But it reminds me of the fun times we had when we discovered it.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, and like these guys, they like the idea of me going to Germany and participating. Baiting. But they don't like the idea of me practicing.

[Love]

They don't want to get any better. They probably are betting on the competition.

[Dan]

You can do it in your free time. You don't have a big audience listening. All right. Habanero Sriracha donated a hundred dollars. Said, Zach, the Dodgers don't come to Seattle at all this year.

[Love]

That's good.

[Ethan Klein]

No way. What was that? That was. Oh, that was Michael.

[Dan]

That was random. Michael.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, okay.

[Zach]

I can't. I can't hate on the Mariners. They're. They got kind of last year. Plus Cal Riley. That guy's a beach.

[Dan]

You just like his dumper.

[Zach]

Oh, yeah. He's got the best ass.

[Ethan Klein]

They sell T shirts with big dump.

[Zach]

Big dumper. Yeah.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

For real?

[Dan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Is he okay with that? Does that make him uncomfortable?

[Zach]

Yeah, he's fine with it.

[Ethan Klein]

They were encouraging sexual harassment of one of their players. Imagine big tits, like, to a volleyball player.

[Zach]

She got a big dump Wait, that's not true though. We're playing them in July. Well, is it here?

[Dan]

They said that Dodgers don't come to Seattle.

[Tom]

Oh, oh.

[Dan]

And they're saying. And he's saying, I'm thinking about coming down to LA for the three games at the end of July. There you go. And then he. He's off. He's extending an invite to you, Zach.

[Zach]

Let's do it.

[Dan]

Offer extended to the whole crew. In fact, a blah, blah, blah, fam.

[Zach]

I need to go to a game this year.

[Dan]

Yeah, I haven't been yet either, so

[Zach]

I'm going to go to a game with you. Zach, I've talked about this before. Yeah, Tom, if you're buying, bro, I'm all in. Absolutely not. No chance.

[Dan]

Thank you. Habanero. Today I finished my 9th of 17 radiation blasts to exterminate their blood cancer. By the time the break is up, I should be deemed cancer free. Fungers. Cross. Cross those fungers.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, these are sick. Some of the stickers are dope.

[Dan]

Can you stop interrupting me while I'm reading this cancer donation?

[Ethan Klein]

Cancer.

[Zach]

Pay attention.

[Ethan Klein]

I didn't ask for a biggest bummer

[Dan]

On Friday, I'm gonna start over from Block Chicken. This is a frequent donator who story we've been following.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, we know about his. We know about him. Okay, go. What's up with this cancer, Dan? Some clickbait is cancer. Tell me.

[Dan]

Today I finished my 9th of 17 radiation blasts to exterminate my rare blood cancer. By the time the break is up, I should be deemed cancer free.

[Tamara]

Let's go.

[Tom]

Wow.

[Dan]

Bungers crossed.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you want me to read that tomorrow?

[Dan]

I. I'm not done.

[Tom]

No, I.

[Ethan Klein]

Could you like, just.

[Galia]

Just.

[Ethan Klein]

He's cured.

[Love]

Okay.

[Tom]

Will be.

[Ethan Klein]

Go ahead, Dan. I. Something important came up, but go ahead. You can.

[Dan]

It's not important.

[Ethan Klein]

No, finish and then I'll.

[Dan]

I saw it. I saw it. It's not important at all. Deemed cancer free. Fungus crossed. Have a good break. Shout out to my favorite balds, Dan and Tom.

[Ethan Klein]

That's why you're so desperate to get

[Zach]

to that important message.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you. Do you want me to read that tomorrow?

[Galia]

I guess.

[Dan]

Obviously not.

[Galia]

Well, I'm.

[Ethan Klein]

Why did she write it?

[Galia]

She does. She does want. She does want that. I was wanted. You wanted your guys. You can read it.

[Ethan Klein]

It's up to you. You want to say it? I don't know. That's why I sent it in.

[Galia]

To ask.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm not going to say it. You say it then.

[Galia]

Why did you just say you would say it?

[Ethan Klein]

Well, cuz. Because I'm like the anchorman. I just read what's written there. Just. You can read it if you want. I'm not touching it.

[Galia]

My sister would. It wanted it to be known that she is single and looking for a Jewish man.

[Zach]

Hey now.

[Galia]

Do not message. Do not message me about it.

[Tom]

That's all.

[Ethan Klein]

Anything else?

[Galia]

I told her that was a bad idea.

[Ethan Klein]

Do you want to ask any references types? Seems like the Bart. She just looking Jewish is the only hurdle. What if they look Jewish but aren't Looks Jewish but isn't.

[Galia]

No, no.

[Ethan Klein]

You just lie to your cuz.

[Galia]

She's pretty. She's pretty Jewish though.

[Ethan Klein]

My sister, she's religious.

[Galia]

Yeah. Like compared to me? Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, interesting. Okay.

[Dan]

You Jews are all right.

[Ethan Klein]

Thanks. Appreciate you.

[Galia]

She likes Shrek and Shrek Jewish.

[Ethan Klein]

That's who would be.

[Tom]

I'm so tired.

[Ethan Klein]

All right, go on, Dan. Thank you.

[Dan]

Let's see. Keep it going. This one says baweep grog weeping bong.

[Ethan Klein]

Is that another language I think they're

[Dan]

maybe trying to trick? Here, Read this out loud, Ethan.

[Ethan Klein]

Sure.

[Dan]

See what happens.

[Ethan Klein]

Weep ni ni bong. So I think that's just another language.

[Dan]

Interesting.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's ask.

[Dan]

Well, they donated $20 and sent that, so hopefully you didn't just say something.

[Ethan Klein]

Southeastern language says it doesn't translate Filipino. So it translates from Filipino to English as. It didn't change it.

[Dan]

Oh, it didn't change it. Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Then why did it detect it as Filipino? I don't know. Okay.

[Dan]

Father Nate. This is from other Nate. Father Nate. Can I buy food? Slide me the company card. Maybe you want to order.

[Love]

That is a famous quote from the Transformers movie.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm not kidding.

[Dan]

From the Transformers movie.

[Love]

It means something. Greetings, friend.

[Dan]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Love]

There you go.

[Dan]

Well, anyways. Yeah. Can good Nate have your. The company card from la?

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, Ask me off the air. No.

[Dan]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Ethan, can I order some food? No. You want to order La Gigante? No.

[Galia]

All right.

[Ethan Klein]

La pita loca. No.

[Dan]

Shannon Sperry said have a. Have the best summer break. Use my soupy to buy my soupy. My super chat to buy the boys some treats at Disney World.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, thank you. I will do that.

[Galia]

Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

God bless you.

[Dan]

Funk said I'm going to be 25 on the 25th. Proud to be birthday twins with each another one.

[Ethan Klein]

There's so not a golden birthday.

[Dan]

That's the golden birthday. Have a happy and safe break, everyone. Peace and love and papa bless. Thank you, fidget funk and happy birthday, Alan. This person's birthday is on.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, does that mean that my golden birthday was me the last year. And I did even know what.

[Love]

What date are you?

[Ethan Klein]

25 on the 25th.

[Dan]

Did you turn 25?

[Ethan Klein]

No, the joke. June 25th on the 25. 2025.

[Zach]

You good brother?

[Love]

No, apparently it's the month, the date.

[Galia]

You're a few years late.

[Dan]

Years late for that one. This person's birthday is on July 4th and always lands during the break. Duh. As a fellow cancer like Ethan, can I get get a quick happy birthday from the crew and a dealer's choice sound bite.

[Ethan Klein]

Happy birthday.

[Dan]

I love you. That's from Happy birthday. And that's from Pradita, Prada and Zach, what do you got for us today?

[Zach]

Alan?

[Dan]

Of course. He loves this Allen sound bite for. And that was on the members episode.

[Tom]

I don't know it.

[Dan]

It's just in one of the Jurassic park sequels, there's a part where one of the dinosaurs says, alan.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not working for me. It's not working for me.

[Dan]

So random.

[Ethan Klein]

That's too damn bad, bro.

[Abby]

It's in the dream sequence. Hila.

[Ethan Klein]

Listen, without the visual, it's just really.

[Zach]

No, it's funny, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I'm not stopping you. I'm just saying it's.

[Zach]

And there's gonna be some dude named Alan one day and I'm gonna hit that and the whole place is gonna go bonkers.

[Dan]

Well, my middle name is Alan.

[Zach]

Yeah, it's Alan, bro.

[Dan]

It works.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't know if there's a pay event, Alan. I like it a lot too, Zach. Yeah, see also it's not clean. There's like music under it. Adds to it.

[Dan]

Becky says have a wonderful break crew and all friends and family of the pod. I hope everyone makes the most of their time and enjoys it. And special thanks to Dan for dedicating his time to the new set. Can't wait to see it. Love y'.

[Galia]

All.

[Dan]

Thank you, Becky. Can I please get a shout out for my bestie, Ashley? She's getting married this Sunday. She's been a long time viewer since the early H3 days and was the one to introduce me to the podcast. Love you, fam. That's from Amanda to Ashley. Have a great marriage.

[Ethan Klein]

She's marrying Ashley?

[Love]

No.

[Dan]

They're getting well, presumably. No, it's their bestie.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, their bestie.

[Love]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dan]

Summer break is the hardest time to not have you guys lonely loser things. But I'm glad to have grown along with all of you. Thank you. Enjoy your time off. Super mucho. All the love from Otter. Amazing that was a 50 donation, so thank you very much, Otter.

[Ethan Klein]

Otter.

[Dan]

Appreciate you, Chris P. Says. Hey, Ethan. And the best crew in the game. My wife and I are on day one of our hunter honeymoon slash baby moon in New Zealand. I was wondering if Nate had any advice for having a baby girl. Hope you all have the best break. That's what Chris.

[Ethan Klein]

Mood, apparently, Right. Mood. Any advice for having. I don't think there's anything different than having a boy. You know, they both function the same.

[Dan]

That's not. That wasn't so.

[Love]

Shout out to.

[Ethan Klein]

They want advice for a baby girl. I don't mean, like, all babies.

[Dan]

So you're just refusing to give any advice back to you.

[Ethan Klein]

Do your part as a. I don't know if you're the dad.

[Zach]

Do your part.

[Abby]

I don't know.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm new to this, too, bro. Damn.

[Dan]

He doesn't feel comfortable giving advice. That's fair. Hey, Kelly. Kelly. That was his advice. It's. You're gonna have to translate it from Mandarin. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly just gifted 10 podcast memberships. Thank you so much for that, Kelly. Thank you so much. Appreciate you.

[Ethan Klein]

It's not a good idea.

[Dan]

It is a good idea.

[Ethan Klein]

I don't like this one. He should be making oohs and woos, not just saying random. They've missed the mark on this.

[Zach]

Take it up with the developer, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, he's watching, and I appreciate the effort, but you're missing. It's got to be. Oh, it's all on.

[Dan]

Everyone's a critic. Jonathan Cervantes.

[Ethan Klein]

That's. That's what I want to hear.

[Dan]

Jonathan Cervantes says birthday is on July 4th, so y' all will be on break. Can I get a keemstars tonight? Same stream is from in the Discord. Oh, we know. The Tonight sound bite doesn't exist.

[Zach]

It's not a sound bite.

[Tom]

What?

[Zach]

It was never pulled into the soundboard.

[Dan]

The tonight. Right.

[Zach]

It's not a sound bite.

[Dan]

Why not?

[Zach]

It's just not. It was never, like, clean enough.

[Dan]

That's a bummer. Well, sorry to disappoint you, Jonathan. You donated $20.

[Zach]

I'll give you another one. Like, is there.

[Dan]

I mean, I don't know.

[Abby]

I may have that. Let me. Let me look for that.

[Ethan Klein]

I hate the Jews. I didn't think so.

[Dan]

Easy, man. Now he's comparing me to Hitler.

[Tom]

No, he's our favorite friend.

[Dan]

Well, they did. They did say, if not available, can I please get a Jordan Peterson's? Really? A month?

[Zach]

That I can do.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

Really? Pride Month? Really? It's a lot. It's a lot. Honestly, Honestly.

[Love]

Really?

[Ethan Klein]

It's a long time. Yeah, we're really celebrating that.

[Tom]

Are we?

[Dan]

We are. We're celebrating.

[Ethan Klein]

He's so bent out of shape over the.

[Love]

Really?

[Ethan Klein]

You get a month.

[Dan]

Where's our month?

[Ethan Klein]

Month for white men.

[Dan]

Justin Jolston. Montal. Montalvo said. Have a nice break, guys. I will miss your content. I can't wait to watch the camping trip video.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, it's gonna be good.

[Dan]

Zach, could I please get a sound bite from my boy, Bad Bunny? With peace and love.

[Ethan Klein]

Hey, hey, hey. Puerto Rico is really. Oh, it's really awesome. Comes from Carolina and the trips from Bayamon. Hey, hey. They want to ride the wave and haven't been to Rincon.

[Tom]

A little kiss for grandma on the balcony taking the bump. This is Puerto Rico, land of Mabel and Tego Calderon. And of Guarel, who was a champion before LeBron. Another car.

[Ethan Klein]

Let's go to the bleachers to light up blunt before people gets out of breath. I never heard this part. It's awesome. Puerto Rico is incra. Hey, hey, hey.

[Tom]

Get Martiva. I'll stay in Palomino.

[Love]

Hey.

[Tom]

If not, I'll go to the Dominican Republic.

[Ethan Klein]

A shout out to my neighbors. Hey, the heat here is different. The sun is right there, isn't it?

[Tom]

Hey, the capital of Pero.

[Dan]

Now, without the music and translated to English, it. It's honestly the guy ranting and raving in front of the 711 by my house. You know what I mean?

[Ethan Klein]

That guy could be very musical. You don't know. Yeah,

[Zach]

Okay.

[Dan]

Okay.

[Ethan Klein]

All right.

[Dan]

Thank you. Bad Mr. Bad Mr. Bunny, please. Heartfather said. Hey, fam. Long time watcher, first time chatter. Hoping to rally some support for my sister who's battling lupus slash end stage kidney failure. She's a single mother currently hospitalized, so anything helps.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, what? Sorry. What's with the kidney failure? Whose kidney's failing?

[Dan]

They're sister.

[Ethan Klein]

And what are we doing about it?

[Dan]

They're just asking for. For some love.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, man. Sending it that.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Dan]

And this person, unlike you, Ethan, actually has lupus.

[Ethan Klein]

They have late stage kidney failure. Based on the lupus.

[Dan]

What was. There was a slash between the two. Lupus slash active. I think they could be related. I'm not sure. Even after that whole lupus saga, I'm a little unclear on lupus.

[Abby]

I'm gonna wait.

[Dan]

Mostly because of the misinformation that you spread.

[Abby]

Yeah, I'm gonna wait for Jake Doolittle

[Dan]

to confirm before I get that's the thing. I'm tiptoeing around this because I don't want to piss off Doolittle.

[Ethan Klein]

You're sounding a little do literally in Doolittle. H3 is being a little again.

[Galia]

That's good.

[Ethan Klein]

Talking smack mad over there, Mr. Doolittle.

[Dan]

Dance. Wordlove2 donated $10 and said the best analogy I've heard is egg. Three pieces, white yolk, and shell all make up an egg, even though they're all distinct individual pieces. What the are you talking about?

[Tom]

Dude, it's about God, the Jesus.

[Ethan Klein]

That doesn't. Okay, read it again. Dan.

[Dan]

The best analogy I've heard is an egg.

[Galia]

Egg.

[Dan]

It has three pieces. The white of the egg, the yolk, and the shell all make up an egg, even though that they're distinctive individuals.

[Ethan Klein]

So God is schizophrenic? Like, what?

[Tom]

No, but like, you the father, son.

[Dan]

That's a good. That is a good analogy.

[Ethan Klein]

God. Everything. God is like, oh, my God. Okay.

[Dan]

Alexander Gonzalez says thank you for running the world's number one podcast. Ethan is hilarious, and the crew is great.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you.

[Dan]

Could the wonderful Tamara please add my beautiful brother Zach's birthday to the list? January 8th.

[Tamara]

Doing that.

[Dan]

She's not even, like, on camera right now.

[Love]

She's.

[Tom]

She's. I feel like there's only one Zach in this world.

[Dan]

Yeah, sorry.

[Zach]

That's very sweet. I appreciate.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank you for the donation. I'll wish him a happy birthday. Happy birthday. Play this for him on that day.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Dan]

Audrey donated $100 and said, felt good to sit shiva with the family this week. Enjoy the break.

[Ethan Klein]

Sorry about that.

[Dan]

Golden Era, Part 4000. Incoming.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow. Sorry.

[Dan]

4000 parts.

[Zach]

No, I think they were talking about the Oliver.

[Dan]

I think because of all of them, they're gonna.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, you know, we have to do that at someone's house.

[Tom]

I think they mean it metaphorically. We were all mourning together.

[Dan]

Yeah. And the only reason I think that is because they include a lot of purple Hearts, which people have been using. Talk about Oliver. So. Well, thank you and thank you for that generous donation. And glad. Glad it could help a little bit. Let's see.

[Ethan Klein]

God is like a seven layer dip. That one makes more sense to me.

[Dan]

Tommy said, hi, I'm the one who bought the Pope jacket.

[Zach]

Yes.

[Ethan Klein]

Hey, we saw you. We saw a post of you deal.

[Dan]

Right. They said I posted on the subreddit and everybody's been so kind.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Rest in peace, Oliver. P.S. my name is Crystal, not Tommy. I'm using my boyfriend's profile because we share.

[Ethan Klein]

I remember You.

[Dan]

You guys share a membership. That's illegal.

[Ethan Klein]

Play the FBI Warning, Nate. Play the FBI warning.

[Dan]

Oh my God. I can't believe that somebody would admit that in a super chat.

[Ethan Klein]

Go on.

[Dan]

It's crazy.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh yes. We won at the end championship. We won an episode. Sharing a membership is theft. Thank you for your donation.

[Dan]

Thank you very much. That's from Crystal, not Tommy.

[Tom]

Thank you, Crystal.

[Dan]

Okay, we've almost been going four hours, so I'm going to have to speed this up a little bit. So if I don't get to yours, I apologize. But there. There been so many generous donations and I want to make sure I get to these big ones. Like for instance. Hey, Ethan. Wondering how the boys like their dinosaurs and if Hila or anyone else wanted me to make them something. Thanks for all the nice things you said. I got a commission.

[Ethan Klein]

Hey, is that one of the knitters?

[Dan]

Yeah, from Maximum Hyper Fixation.

[Tom]

They love it. We gave it to them. They really love it. It's in their bag heads. They sleep with them.

[Dan]

Oh, that's cute. Very nice.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, they love them. It's a hit. Where can we find her? Max, what is it?

[Dan]

I think that's their name everywhere. Maximum Hyper Fixation.

[Ethan Klein]

Boom.

[Dan]

Oh, Wolfie says he commissioned them.

[Tom]

Oh, they're so well made.

[Ethan Klein]

Such a guy.

[Dan]

Very nice.

[Ethan Klein]

And wait for the wolf who should be coming to rest.

[Dan]

Spooky Kabuki keep having to stop painting because of the tom sound bite. LOL. Ethan should go pick up the new 40k 11th edition starter box. Over break. Orcs versus Space Marines. Do it. Me and my sons are painting it up. That would actually be kind of a fun activity for you to do with the boys.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, that's a fun idea.

[Dan]

That's interesting. Okay, I'll think it's very like arts and crafty and it's like a board

[Ethan Klein]

game where you buy the action figures and you paint them.

[Dan]

Yeah, they come. They're little plastic figures that are just like gray here.

[Ethan Klein]

Everybody's trying to get me in on this. Dan wants me to get into it so I can buy expensive stuff for him to play with.

[Dan]

It's not the cheapest hobby, but yeah, they come in pieces and it's kind of just like a whole fun activity because you glue them together to make these little guys and then they're unpainted and then the. The fun is. See here's.

[Ethan Klein]

You paint it however you wanted. They bring like a.

[Dan]

You paint it however you want.

[Ethan Klein]

Do they include paint?

[Love]

No.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay.

[Dan]

Yeah, like I said, it's not the cheapest.

[Tom]

But you gotta be a really good, like really experienced.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, I feel like if I painted that would just look like a child's.

[Tom]

Yeah. How do you paint it to look so good?

[Dan]

Well, it takes practice, obviously, but there's lots of really good guides. And the, the recommend. The ones that people recommend you start with are much simpler than those. Like the kind of poster boys are the ultramarines minis. And they're pretty much just like blue with like a little bit of detail on the side. You know what I mean?

[Ethan Klein]

What if I want. What if I don't want to paint?

[Dan]

Do you like, paint the whole thing blue? And then you just paint the gold outlines and then you use like a. A wash of black. Like inky, very watery.

[Ethan Klein]

What if I don't want it to be blue?

[Dan]

Well, you paint it whatever color you want.

[Ethan Klein]

I can still play if it's all blue.

[Tom]

What paint do you use for this?

[Dan]

Well, they make blue. It's. It's like a acrylic based paint.

[Galia]

But they.

[Tom]

Isn't it.

[Galia]

It's specific types of paint.

[Dan]

I mean, yes, technically it's not just any acrylic. Yeah, they. They make ones that are like formulated for it. But you know, they. They sell them.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, there's pens, packets and stuff.

[Dan]

The pen, I've never used that actually. That's interesting.

[Tom]

They had this.

[Ethan Klein]

The program kids picks.

[Dan]

Anyways, it's a.

[Galia]

You paint those, Dan?

[Dan]

It's all blue. Yeah.

[Galia]

Yeah. And you were pretty good at it.

[Dan]

I'm okay.

[Ethan Klein]

I want to.

[Galia]

I want to see.

[Tom]

I'm curious. You got to bring something.

[Ethan Klein]

Yo, we need to see your warhammer collection, bro.

[Tom]

Didn't know you do that.

[Dan]

Well, I'm going to. I'll definitely be working on. Over the break. I was actually planning on bringing some here because I'm going to have to be supervising all the workmen working on the set or whatever while they're working.

[Galia]

Dan's just with his miniature.

[Dan]

Well, I like for like insurance purposes, I can't like be doing the work.

[Galia]

We can't be.

[Ethan Klein]

No, can't be.

[Galia]

What?

[Ethan Klein]

Do your thing, bro. He can't. He can't be doing the work.

[Dan]

It's.

[Abby]

He's just.

[Dan]

That's the rules.

[Galia]

So you have to be there.

[Ethan Klein]

He's super.

[Dan]

To be there to supervise.

[Galia]

Right? I know.

[Dan]

Questions, that kind of stuff.

[Galia]

It's a nice thought of you being there doing painting the miniatures.

[Dan]

That's the idea. Yeah, that's the idea.

[Tom]

You.

[Dan]

Anyways. Okay. The only reason I'm going to survive this Break is knowing that we finally get to see the camping vid tomorrow's been working so hard on. Love, y'.

[Galia]

All.

[Dan]

Special shout out to the girlies. Hila, Tamara. And that's from.

[Ethan Klein]

Thank. Girlies.

[Dan]

Yes, the girlies.

[Ethan Klein]

Not you, Tom.

[Zach]

Why not?

[Galia]

Tom can be a girly, dude.

[Zach]

I'm a huge girly.

[Ethan Klein]

They specifically did not.

[Galia]

They didn't mention you, though.

[Ethan Klein]

You are a girl, dad.

[Abby]

That for sure?

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Oh, this is an important dono. Love, are you there?

[Tom]

Oh, I wanted to tell everybody at home that when we come back, we're gonna do a Love island episode. It's gonna be right after the season ends.

[Ethan Klein]

That is so boring, bro.

[Tom]

Then don't join us.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm. Well, I'm telling you, when you. When I was watching that show. That's what we were watching last night, right?

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Okay. You don't think about the fact that you're just watching a bunch of 20 year olds.

[Tom]

I know, it sucks.

[Zach]

No, you can't think of it.

[Ethan Klein]

I can't think of that because like, world. How old are you again?

[Zach]

48.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Yeah, they're way too young.

[Zach]

It's embarrassing. I don't watch Love island, but like, I watch Below Deck, Summer House, all that. It's kind of embarrassing.

[Tom]

Summer House is kind of the same summer.

[Zach]

Yeah, exactly. But it's awesome. So who gives a.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm so invested in these 20 year olds relationships. This doesn't sound right. Not that I'm above it because I. I've been there, but the Amanda Kyle

[Zach]

breakup on Summer House, I was so invested in. So invested in. And it's so stupid.

[Tom]

Well, anyway, if you are watching, or if you feel like watching it over the time we're on break, then just know we'll have an episode when we come back about it.

[Zach]

Nice.

[Dan]

Sounds good. Okay, so I. Sorry, love. I called you over because this person about 34 llamas said. Said love flexing the other day. That he's young because he wasn't born in the 1900s is disingenuous. The year 2000, which is that the year that you were born.

[Ethan Klein]

Wow, hold on. Really?

[Dan]

No, listen. The year 2000 is the last year of the 20th century. They're right.

[Tom]

You're one of us.

[Dan]

You were born in the 20th year. 100%.

[Love]

No, check the meme I. The meme I sent yesterday was nothing about. It was just, oh, you. You're born. It says 19. I'm out.

[Dan]

It doesn't matter if you.

[Zach]

20th century, bro.

[Dan]

20th century, kid. You're a 20th century, kid.

[Ethan Klein]

You weren't even born this century, bro.

[Dan]

You weren't even born this millennium.

[Ethan Klein]

Holy cringing. God, that's crazy.

[Dan]

Born in the second millennium, bro.

[Galia]

Love, are you okay?

[Ethan Klein]

Hi.

[Galia]

Are you okay?

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Galia]

I haven't heard from you.

[Love]

Just talking just now.

[Galia]

Oh, I didn't have my headphones on.

[Love]

Oh, that would do.

[Galia]

And I just heard people bullying you,

[Love]

but, yeah, they are bullying me.

[Tom]

Are you okay?

[Love]

Because I'm young.

[Ethan Klein]

He bullied us.

[Galia]

I know. You did do that.

[Tom]

He's an uncle. Uncle up.

[Love]

I'm literally not an uncle.

[Galia]

He's about to cry, by the way.

[Ethan Klein]

I can.

[Love]

I'm literally not an uncle.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, my God.

[RFK's Sister]

Stop.

[Tamara]

Take it.

[Ethan Klein]

Nate.

[Zach]

Nate.

[Ethan Klein]

Take it down. Nate, it's too far.

[Galia]

Take it down.

[Dan]

He's out.

[Galia]

He shouldn't have bullied the elderly.

[Dan]

He quit, dude.

[Abby]

He quit.

[Tom]

Anyway, love, we're going to have a family reunion next weekend, and you're invited.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Ethan Klein]

Why? Because he's an unc.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Mariah Silver said, having a rough day. Grateful for the podcast. We'll miss the show during the break, but also shout out tomorrow.

[Galia]

Hi, guys.

[Love]

Yeah.

[Galia]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Dan]

Thank you very much. Nick Boris, our. That's our photographer friend. Is it not the Arctic? Yeah. If you'd like. If you like the Arctic. I'd like to shout out my latest short on the Inu Piet Whaling Festival. Now.

[Tom]

Now can we watch it?

[Dan]

I'm gonna try my best.

[Love]

We should.

[Ethan Klein]

We should keep it moving because it's Naluka talk.

[Dan]

You want to keep it moving.

[Tom]

It's gonna be short.

[Dan]

I've been trying, bro.

[Ethan Klein]

I haven't said anything in, like, 10 minutes. You're the one over. Stumbling over your words.

[Dan]

It's a very.

[Tom]

It's gonna be short.

[Dan]

It's a first, people. It's like a native word, and it's.

[Ethan Klein]

How short do you think it.

[Dan]

Pull it up, like 60 seconds. An Arctic celebration like no other on YouTube. It might tie into a story I'm pitching.

[Ethan Klein]

What do you think is geographic?

[Abby]

Thank you.

[Tom]

I thought it would be like a real.

[Dan]

No, no. I think this is like a little short documentary.

[Ethan Klein]

What's his. Where do we find it?

[Dan]

Nick Boris.

[Zach]

Okay.

[Dan]

And their latest short on the Inu Payet Whaling Festival.

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, it's a short.

[Tom]

That's why I thought it was short.

[Ethan Klein]

Nick Boris.

[Dan]

But shout out to Nick Boris.

[Ethan Klein]

Let me type that.

[Tom]

Let's see.

[Zach]

Hugh J.

[Dan]

You know. You know the rest. Said Dan, you promised me a sound bite and never delivered. While the other chatter was wrong. I think I have actually given you around $100 just to play late at this point. Anywho, I miss you all. Except Nate. Dude, Dude. What? Sound bite? You didn't say.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, he's playing.

[Dan]

What do you say?

[Ethan Klein]

Except Nate.

[Zach]

Yeah. What do you do?

[Ethan Klein]

Oh, I don't know.

[Dan]

Well, I would give you your sound bite, but you foolishly did not include it in the super chat, yelling at me about not giving you the sound bite. So now I don't know what the sound bite is.

[Ethan Klein]

So you said, accept Nate.

[Abby]

Don't give it to him.

[Ethan Klein]

Zach, I'm going through your YouTube short shorts. Oh, maybe this is it.

[Dan]

Nalika talk is the proper pronunciation.

[Ethan Klein]

Look at your own there, buddy.

[Love]

Did he mean a short or a short?

[Tom]

I don't see it.

[Ethan Klein]

I see whales here.

[Love]

I thought he meant like a short movie.

[Ethan Klein]

Yeah, maybe. Let me go to his channel. He says on YouTube, right?

[Zach]

Yep.

[Ethan Klein]

So let's see here. I mean, I don't.

[Dan]

It probably is the short.

[Love]

I guess it is a short then, eh?

[Ethan Klein]

So the one with the whales.

[Tom]

Lena Galia sent it.

[Love]

Damn.

[Ethan Klein]

Wait, where did you find. Okay, so it's not on his channel.

[Abby]

I went to his Instagram and then went from there.

[Ethan Klein]

UIC Alaska.

[Tom]

I thought it said UNC Alaska.

[Dan]

So you try pronouncing that.

[Ethan Klein]

I'm not even gonna try. I'm gonna say those. Shout out to them.

[Tom]

Okay, so. So we will watch it later, though.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, we'll show when we come back. I don't know. Yeah, let's watch it when we come back.

[Dan]

Very cool, Nick.

[Ethan Klein]

What a cool job. Naluka talk.

[Dan]

Yeah, I think that was. Yeah, you sent. Sent the pronunciation guide. 50 Canadian dollar donation. Love says it's my 44th birthday today. Can I have a sound bite of Zach's choice? And that's from valid stranger. Happy birthday.

[Ethan Klein]

That there's people older than me watching the show. That's incredible.

[Dan]

And they just. The. The sound bite was just Alan. That's just his answer for everything.

[Tom]

There's lots of Kate's face in the chat. They're spamming Kate.

[Love]

They probably want us to end.

[Tom]

They want after dark.

[Dan]

They want after dark. All right, I'm. I think I'm. Yeah, I'm almost at the bottom here. Another $51 from teresamg. Can my cat Wally get a shot out for his 16th birthday on July?

[Ethan Klein]

Wow. Shout out, Wally. May you live forever.

[Dan]

Happy birthday, Wally.

[Ethan Klein]

And you never, never die, little Walters.

[Dan]

$20 donation. Big Shout out to my bestie Nia, who's holding our detail shop down while I'M on vacation. Be a rough week for her without me or the pod detail shop.

[Ethan Klein]

Well, like a car detailer.

[Dan]

Yeah, I would assume so. Yeah. We always fill the quiet sh. Shop with disturbing cackles during the lives. Thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

That's from disturbing.

[Dan]

From Abigail. Thank you so much.

[Ethan Klein]

I know she's not talking about me because I don't laugh. So you all got disturbing laughs. Oh, why is your laughs disturbing? Don't be so hard on yourself.

[Dan]

Tatted by Georgie said. I will miss you guys so bad. Enjoy your time tomorrow. Your latest video was so sick. I love your art.

[Tom]

Oh, thank you.

[Ethan Klein]

She's.

[Tom]

Well, thank you on behalf of the mom.

[Ethan Klein]

She's editing but we'll, we'll, we'll tell her.

[Dan]

And finally. Hell yeah. I was hoping y' all would play the members video. Thank you from Crystal and Tommy. That was the person that oh was cheating the system by doubling up on membership. Thank you to everybody else who donated. I'm sorry if I didn't get to yours but we are just. We are at four over four hours. So we're going to say goodbye and thank you very much and we'll see you in a few weeks, Ethan, and send it on back to you.

[Ethan Klein]

So here's what's going on, guys. We will be back on. What's the, what's the precise day we're back?

[Dan]

Well, the scheduled return date is July 13th.

[Ethan Klein]

July 13th. We'll be back. Remember, it's a good time to catch up on old episodes. You got tons of after dark. You got tons of H3.

[Dan]

And the camping video will be out next Wednesday.

[Ethan Klein]

It will be coming out and it's going to be a lot of fun. You guys are like it. You guys are going to be fine. We're going to, you know, these breaks are important. We're going to come back. We're going to come back rejuvenated with more vigor for more with for more taste for life.

[Dan]

So true.

[Ethan Klein]

And actually lots of ideas to percolating in my head and a whole new set. So we're going to have a whole new start fresh start when we come back. So enjoy the the break if you can and just know we'll be back and a fresh new start on July 13th. 1313. July 13th. Well, in the meantime it's not over yet because we have after dark up next. And they Harley K. Diving. It's the last episode before the break. They're reminiscing on highlights from all the episodes. Then G is joining them to play Mecca Community Chameleon I've heard that game's fun. Yeah. Be sure to stick around for After Dark's last episode before the break. And then we'll all be back on July 13, a Monday, I believe. Yes.

[Dan]

Yep.

[Ethan Klein]

And so, yeah, stick around, have some fun with the After Dark crew. And, hey, we'll see you in a few weeks, guys. Thanks for being here. Thanks to all of our members. Thank you for all your support, you guys. So meaningful and so appreciate it. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Thank you. And everybody who's watching, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So, yep, we'll see youall in a few weeks here. Bye, everyone.

[Galia]

Bye.

[Tom]

Bye.

[Galia]

Sa.