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Habits and Hustle
Episode 477:Jim Curtis: How to Rewire Your Brain, Break Mental Patterns, and Actually Change Your Life
01:07:21
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A
Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it.
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B
Before we dive into today's episode, I first want to thank our sponsor, Therassage. Their tri light panel has become my favorite biohacking thing for healing my body. It's a portable red light panel that I simply cannot live without. I literally bring it with me everywhere I go. And I personally use their red light therapy to help reduce inflammations in places in my body where honestly, I have pain. You can use it on a sore back, stomach, cramps, shoulder, ankle, Red light therapy is my go to. Plus it also has amazing anti aging benefits, including reducing signs of fine lines and wrinkles on your face, which I also use it for. I personally use Therassage Trilite everywhere and all the time. It's small, it's affordable, it's portable and it's really effective.
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A
It's.
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Head over to therassage.com right now and use code be bold for 15% off. This code will work site wide again. Head over to Therasodh E R A s a g e.com and use code be bold for 15% off any of their products. Jim Curtis is on the podcast. He. He's going to be doing his little magic mind shot. He says he loves them. Do you, do you have them a lot?
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A
No, I haven't had them in a long time, but now I've remembered to have them.
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B
They're really good. I'm going to give you a bunch. All right, so I've had like four. I'm not allowed to have any more today. So you're going to take it and I'm going to. I'm going to post this and so everyone's going to see you do all these. They're all adaptogens. It's like.
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A
Yeah, well, if I have my glasses on.
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B
I know, tell me about it. It has a bunch of like, it has a little bit of green tea. So for. Are you going to do it?
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A
Yeah, well, right now it was such a lead up. I thought you were doing more of a lead up.
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B
I was going to do it, but I thought, well, okay, go ahead. There was such a lead up. You're right. Do you like it?
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A
This is delicious.
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B
All right, so Jim Curtis is joining us on the podcast today. So thank you very much for being here, Jim. Just so you know, he is. We just changed his name actually. He's a. He's a growth strategist now. Great. And he was formerly a transformational coach, but we didn't really love that name because he's so much more than that. And we're going to get into it because he's also a master hypnotist. He's, he's a lot of things. So anyway, now Jim is a growth strategist.
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A
I love it. I love it. See you get stuff done. Literally.
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B
I'm an action oriented person.
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A
I knew if anybody had to ask, you said, I don't really love that name. I said, let's figure out a new one. We did in five minutes.
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B
In five minutes. And here you go.
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A
What do you call someone that does what I do? There's no name for it.
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B
There really isn't. Well, that's the thing. Like I find that what you do, it's vast. Right. So you know, people just go to the most like the easiest low hanging fruit name and it's like it doesn't really, really define what the work actually is. So how would you even define what you do? Like what is the work that you do? Because with, you know, Jim and I actually met like 10 years ago just in full, full disclosure. And he was in the VC world, totally not doing this. He was like the president of like some health company back when and now he's obviously doing a whole lot of different stuff. So explain, I want to hear all.
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A
About what it is. So if you could take practical psychology and mindset training. So everyday mindset training, what makes us do what we do with a spiritual connection, like identifying as something more that you can both hit the practical and the spiritual at the same time. Become the most powerful version of yourself. Overcoming and transforming through any obstacle, any illness, any health issue, any feeling of self worth, self lack, into business and all those areas. That's what I do. So. Right. How do you explain that in two words, which is growth strategist. Because you're growing spiritually. You're growing your energy, you're growing your presence within the world, your, your connection and your impact.
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B
How did this become what who you are and what you do. Like you've. What has been your life journey, your evolution. Because like I said when I met you, you were doing something totally different in finance and business. And now you are like even your, well, your energy was always very calm and soothing. I would say. Like, I think that's one thing I do remember. But how did you get from there to where you are now?
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A
Yeah, there was a time in my life where my energy was crazy. Crazy.
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B
Really?
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A
Yeah. Before you know what you know. But you know, pain really settles you, your body settles You. And although I'm not in pain now, it changes you. It changes everything. Right. But so what? I used to lay in bed as a kid and I could feel the energy in my body shaking. I could connect to the energy. I would feel almost waves in my body. I knew that I could connect to energy really easily. And I knew that I had insight into people even as a young kid.
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B
Really?
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A
Yeah. And I used to think that it was because my father was a lunatic and he was so crazy how he was just. He was, he was like straight out of Greece, neurotic, and he was angry and he was vain, all these things. So I had to watch him to see, like, what it, you know, when he was going to explode next.
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B
Right.
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A
And my intuition got really great. But then I realized I just had. That I was a watcher. I'd like to go deeper than what's. Than what's on the surface.
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B
Right.
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A
I'm always looking for the truth. So I started to realize this from a young age and that I could connect with people and understand them. And then I. Around 20 years old, I got really ill. Right. We've talked about this before. We were talking about this. And so that illness really opened up something new in me, one that I had to overcome. But then it opened up an insight to other people who were struggling and. And then another insight in how to thrive despite it. And so I thought that I wanted to be in business, and I did. I really love business. Entrepreneurship, always in technology and health. WebMD, Everyday Health, Remedy Health, Institute of Integrative Nutrition. And then I realized, like, there's something much bigger, there's something much more that I can help people with. And so I started to really focus on that. And when I did, it took off.
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B
I mean, you've been doing this now for how long?
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A
This, this new, this new thing, just look, almost two. It will be two years in August, so a year and a half.
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B
And like, what I said, like, I think that, like, I. I understand what you mean by the fact that it took. I understand why it would take off, because I said this to you before we started, was that there's a true authenticity to who you are. Your energy is very calm, it's soothing. It's like your temperament goes really well with what this is naturally. And I think because of what you said before with like your background, your childhood, you were an observer. You were very perceptive. You love that stuff.
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A
Yeah.
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B
That you kind of like made all these like, mental notes of, like, what and how to do something not to do something or, like, how you want to be. How do you want to be? Like, how to show up in the world.
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A
Exactly. Right. How you want to show up in your world.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And we talked about before, too, is the really stepping into the divine masculine.
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B
Yeah, you said that.
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A
Yeah.
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B
What is the divine masculine?
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A
The divine masculine is grounded and has roots. It's all the way down. It doesn't have to show off. It doesn't have to be showy. It doesn't have to jump. It doesn't have to shout. The divine masculine is an oak tree. It's a redwood. Right. And it can sway in the breeze, and it can provide an energy of support and safety. So it can. The divine masculine is supposed to settle your nervous system as soon as you get in touch with it, not make questions, not make insecurities, not make, you know, inconsistencies. And so I've really stepped into the divine masculine.
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B
So when you do, you help other men kind of find their divine masculine? Because I find this is something that is so lacking in the world we're living today. I find there's not very many men out anymore. Like, there's. Men are not really masculine anymore. That's what I. And not. By the way, it's not just me who says this. It's like. I think it's a very common conversation.
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A
Ladies are saying this.
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B
Oh, every lady I know. Like, and by the way, all the way. Young ladies, old ladies, 20 and up. Like, it's hard to. It's like, literally, it's hard to find, like, a real man these days. And. And I don't know if that's, like, even, like, politically correct to say, but it's the actual truth.
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A
Yeah.
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B
So how does that come up and show up in your work? Do people literally contact you for that, or was that something that you worked on and then you're now teaching that to other men?
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A
That's a really great question. And I don't teach it to other men. So I don't even talk. Like, this is the first time that we were even. So you're bringing something new. Oh, good. So I. I activate and I come from. And everything that I try to do is through the divine masculine. And so I don't have to say, I'm going to teach you how to do the divine masculine. Everybody feels the divine masculine. And so when I work with a man, I'm telling them, just basically be a man. You know, like, they were recognizing what I'm telling them. I don't have to say, this is how you be. Would step into your masculine energy. And with women. I work with a lot of women too. I heal with them through the divine masculine, especially women who have, like, been dating, can't find love, going through divorce. All these things that women are dealing with today, like, they've had, like, really difficult, you know, experiences with men.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Like, everybody calls a man a narcissist. Every. Every other person is a narcissist. Right. And so I can work with a woman and allow her to feel the safety of the divine masculine and heal her own trauma with men so that she can have a better relationship going forward. I'm the archetype for that. I never say that that's what I portray. That's the energy that I'm trying to put out there in the world. And I only got there through being. Just messing up, you know, really, I, like, I had to learn it. I had to learn it along. Along the way who I wanted to be.
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B
How did you learn it? And what's the first step to becoming that way?
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A
I learned it through relationship. Right. I learned it through what would make me feel terrible. And then what was I creating in my relationships? The women that I like, I'd get anxious about, needy, wanting more and more and more, and then they'd push them away, or I'd be macho and controlling and push them away. And I realized that never makes me feel good. And these relationships are terrible. So I took it, this pain from these relationships and from these architects, and I held it in my hand, I said, what's the lesson of this pain? And I could, like, take it from myself and say, what is the lesson of this pain? And who do I really want to be? What is the identity that I need to be most successful and happiest in life? And the identity came just like, be the oak, be the tree. You don't need to desire. I can have wants. I can have desires. But you don't need to be wanting, grabbing, pursuing. Right. Instead, you can just allow.
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B
But how do you teach that to some? Like, how do you even, like, subtly teach that and bring that into someone's subconscious?
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A
Well, you said, when you said that, you said that you, like, immediately feel. I don't know what you said, maybe said at ease. You can see that the.
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B
Well, you bring the energy. What I. Yeah, what I said, I.
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A
Bring the energy down.
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B
Well, then you're a real downer, Jim. You know, I know what I'm saying is your energy is calming.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Because you're not loud. You're not like, Erratic. You seem. You seem kind of calm. Steady.
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A
Yeah. Well, that will. That will regulate your nervous system immediately.
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B
100%.
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A
Yeah. So that will regulate your nervous system. And then I'll talk to you about attachment. And I'll talk to you about something bigger. And I'll talk to you about how you don't have to worry because the only time is now. And then I'll get into a little NLP and I'll start to.
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B
What is that?
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A
Neuro. Linguistic programming.
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B
Yeah. How does that work?
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A
So we have this conscious mind, and in the conscious mind we have a critical mind. It's filtering everything based on our beliefs. So if I say something to you that's not against your beliefs, you'll be like, that's bullshit. I'm not gonna allow it. Toss that out.
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B
Right, right.
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A
But if I say something that removes the critical mind, it gets beyond the critical mind into your subconscious programming through a question. Like, I wonder what it would feel like if you did meet a man that gave you everything that you want instead of like, jen, if you just do this, that your life's gonna be great. Your subconscious mind start to think about and process what if that's true.
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B
So you kind of like ask a question to your brain or to your mind?
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A
I pose a question to your subconscious.
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B
And so that way if you pose a question to my subconscious, it will basically marinate in my subconscious.
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A
Allow yourself to answer it instead of kicking it out.
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B
Is that the trick for nlp?
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A
Yeah, embedded commands, there's all sorts of things. It's the way you pose the question. So you could. I can embed a command within a question that's positive. So like an embedded command around your identity.
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B
Yeah.
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A
You know, like, I wonder when you let this go, how. How amazing you will feel as opposed.
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B
To asking it or saying how you're.
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A
Gonna feel amazing when you let this go. That the command is you're gonna feel amazing. But so you. I start with the energy I regulate through my own energy, through the safety of it. And then I can start with the conversation and coaching nlp. I mean, the master at NLP is Tony Robbins. Like, he's.
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B
Oh, he's amazing. Like the number one.
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A
I mean. I mean, not even number one. There's no one that's like.
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B
There's no one even in the same category.
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A
It's like the Michael Phelps when he was swimming. It's like there's no one that even comes close.
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B
Not even close. I totally agree. And I hear the word all the time. And other people have said they do it, they're experts at it. But I don't even know what that means.
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A
Child's play compared to, to an amateur hour. Yes.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And me too. I mean, I was in his presence and I was able to benefit from that.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And I walked away from there saying like, yeah, he is the North Star of all of this work. Now, like, he doesn't. That's the practical mentality of our human experience. Now. There's something greater than that. There's something greater than that, that when you tap into it, you can, like mindset, performance, longevity. Like you're tapping into, like, something much bigger source beyond any nlp.
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B
Right.
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A
And that's the realization that, like, all around us, everywhere is energy. And we start to tell ourselves a lie, that because we can't see it, it's not happening.
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B
Well, yeah, Like I even said to you initially before, I'm like, I don't, you know, I'm very. Because I'm much more of a. I'm a real. I'm a practical person. I like things that are, like, in my. If I can't see it, I don't understand it. And so I operate in that way. That's my operating system. But yet I know there's all these other frequencies and other energies and other, other high. You know, I guess like v. I don't even know what you call it that are working. I, I'm, I'm, I'm not ignorant to not know that. I just don't understand it. Like, I guess a question I have for you is how do you know what frequency you are? And how could you put yourself in a higher frequency?
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A
Yeah, that's a great question.
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B
Thank you.
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A
How do you, you know what frequency are by how you feel? You're in a high frequency already. You can tell.
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B
How do you know?
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A
Well, I could tell because you have high energy, you have relatability, Right. So you're in this frequency where you're not down. You probably don't dwell on your issues. You probably get up and like, if you're feeling sad, you probably move your body really quickly.
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B
Very quickly. Yeah, yeah.
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A
So that is putting you constantly into a state, into a state of a higher frequency. Right. Where someone else being like, I'm not getting out of bed today, that type of thing.
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B
And that's a low frequency.
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A
That would be keeping in a low frequency, in a rut, in a low frequency. So if you want to raise your frequency, there's two things that you can do. One is get out there and move your body Right. That's why people with physical disabilities and illnesses get, like, chronically depressed.
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B
Oh, wow.
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A
Right. Because their body is telling you. Exactly. And I had to, like, find my thing because there was like, I'd lay in bed, like, drinking Shake Shack when I wasn't feeling good.
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B
Really?
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A
Yes. And I had to find, like, this. Like, this was. That was my path. And I know what it feels like to be like, you know, like, just order some more Shake Shack and watch TV in bed for a day or two. And so I realized what that created, and then I realized how I could get out of it. And it doesn't matter if, you know, your legs don't work or they do, you can still move. Right.
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B
So what did you do?
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A
I'm a swimmer. I swim every day.
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B
You swim every day? Good for you. How long do you swim it? Like, how. How long?
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A
45 minutes. So I love the pools in California because the pool in New York City that I swim in is like the bottom of the projects, but in the basement.
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B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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A
Sometimes the lights work, sometimes they don't.
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B
If you're lucky right here, it's like.
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A
Outdoor pools in Santa Monica, West Hollywood, everywhere I get to swim. So move your body like, you know this already, intuitively, you're, like, aligned.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And the second part is allow yourself to visualize the best thing that could ever happen, the best outcome, and then back it up and stack it with things that you love. So if you visualize, oh, there's my daughter, there's my dog, there's that incredible lake at Jenny Lake in Wyoming that I love so much. There's my son. And then you stack it up with, what if this happened? How amazing would it be? Already you start to feel more power in your muscles.
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B
Really? So you're saying visualization, Visualize the things that you love. An action.
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A
Action. Move your body, activity. Yeah.
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B
Because you talk a lot. I think. I think I saw that you talk a lot about high frequency, like, being high vibration. What happens to people who are. Who are high vibration versus low vibration? Like, how does. Like, what kind of. What hap. What happens in the world to them? People who are high vibration, what do they attract versus low vibr.
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A
There's two things. When you raise your vibration.
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B
Okay.
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A
When you become magnetic to, like, other high vibrational things and people.
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B
Okay, right.
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A
And then. And then you just completely repel other people. Right?
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B
Yeah.
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A
Those people that can't. That can't stand me too. Exactly.
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B
People either. You know, the truth is, actually, now that you say it, people either love Me or hate my.
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A
Yeah, it's like you want to be around it. Hate you. And I experience this stuff, too. Like, the other day, I experienced it, right?
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B
Really? Who can hate you?
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A
No, but I experienced it with someone else.
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B
Oh, you hated them?
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A
No, I realized that I was at a lower vibration, and I was looking at them with envy and jealousy, and I was like that, you know, like they're. And they're doing the same thing as me, right? And I'm like, God, it's just something I don't like about that person, right? And I found myself saying that. I even look at their Instagram page and just be like, this is something I don't like about that person.
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B
Is that a bad thing?
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A
Yeah, that was a. For me, that was a bad thing because it's a wonderful person doing amazing things in the world. So what I did is I called them and I said, hey, I'd like to meet you.
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B
Really?
- [18:55]
A
Yes. And so when I met them for coffee, I realized immediately, like, our energies became, like, really, like, immediately. It was like a love connection, really. And I said, oh, yes. That's the, like, the ego, the identity, the fear of not good enough, of not as good as all those things. I was in a low frequency. It was repelling me from this person. But as soon as I decided to make that change and do something different, I'm going to call that person and go and see who they really are. And it was kismet.
- [19:22]
B
But isn't there something to be said? And I think, I thought maybe you. Like. What about gut instinct or intuition? Maybe you didn't like that person because you kind of caught a vibe that maybe they weren't what they thought, what they say they are. Isn't that possible, too?
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A
Are you a gut instinct type of person?
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B
I'm a gut instinct kind of person, yeah. Like, I'm. I'm kind of. When you were describing your. How you were as a kid, that's kind of like how I was very much an observer. I love to watch, like, my favorite thing in the world to this day is people watching. I love watching how people kind of interact in the world. And it's not the big things that I'm looking out for. It's the small things, facial movements. It's just a small way, the way. The way that they move through the world, how they talk to people. They're just. Overall vibe, I like. I find it to be, like, fascinating, but I pick up on a lot of, like, nuances to tell me if they're fake. Real Good, bad, like it happens really quickly.
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A
Yeah.
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B
But I feel like sometimes if I don't like some, if I, if I like have a reaction like you just had to that person. I would think to myself, that's my, that's my intuition. That's not because I'm low frequency, but maybe it's my, that could be my ego. I don't know.
- [20:34]
A
Yeah. I mean, I think. And that's where the work comes in, is differentiating.
- [20:38]
B
Yeah. So I would like to do work on that just to see if maybe it is my ego because there's probably a lot of people that I dislike because maybe I am jealous and I just don't really want to admit it to myself.
- [20:48]
A
Yeah, that was me.
- [20:49]
B
Yeah.
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A
So other times when I meet someone in person, I'm just like, not for me.
- [20:54]
B
Right. That's me a lot.
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A
That's my gut feeling.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Like I don't. I need to like. But if I see someone on Instagram or like out in the world doing something and I'm feeling that without knowing them, then that's my ego.
- [21:05]
B
Right. Because also you can't really. Social media, I mean, people are like, they're representing a fraction of who they really are. You can't really judge someone based on 100% because most people I meet in real life versus who I meet on Instagram, they're almost not always, but a lot of times they're not the same person.
- [21:20]
A
Yeah. It's a Persona. It's a TV show that.
- [21:22]
B
Exactly. You know, like, I think that's for sure. Let me share my daily routine game changer with you. It's the Momentous 3. I've been using their protein, their creatine and omega 3 combo for months now and the results are undeniable. These nutrients are key for long term health and performance, but hard to get enough of through diet alone. The crea pure creatine boosts both physical and your mental performance. The grass fed whey tastes great with no weird aftertaste. And their Omega 3 is a must for recovery. Since adding these, my energy, my recovery and my overall well being has really improved. So if you want better performance, this is the way to go. Visit livemomentous.com and use my code Jen for 35% off your first subscription. That's livemomentous.com code Jen for 35% off your 1st subscription. Trust me, you'll be happy you did. I saw something. You were talking about mindtrap traps. What are mind traps?
- [22:43]
A
Oh, mind traps are awesome for both shadow work Are you familiar with shadow?
- [22:47]
B
No. I want you to tell me.
- [22:47]
A
Okay. Shadow work and nlp, just kind of like practical psychology type of stuff. So mind traps are when we get in these ruts.
- [22:57]
B
Okay, Right.
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A
Because there's so much information that we can literally create any reality we want based on what we know.
- [23:03]
B
Okay, Right.
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A
We can. We're taking in 4,000 pieces of information a minute. So we have to collate it, we have to organize it. And so the things that become mind traps are these things that within our belief system. So, you know, the double down effect, or here's a, you know, confirmation bias is a real mind trap.
- [23:22]
B
Is it? Okay, yeah.
- [23:24]
A
So one, we have a belief and say that's a limiting belief. Say it's like, because I walk with a limp, I'm not lovable. And I don't know that. Just say that. That was a belief of mine. That was one of my confirmation biases. That was a mind trap of mine because I walk with a limp and my body is broken. I'm not lov. Guess what kind of relationships that I was going out and looking for people that I could eat that I could. That would leave me or that weren't good or that wanted, you know, money that I had or something like that.
- [23:50]
B
Right.
- [23:51]
A
So I had to figure out, like, why. Why am I. Relationships?
- [23:54]
B
You're picking people who are. Who don't have good intentions.
- [23:58]
A
Who have good intentions. People that are broken that I want to heal so that they don't actually see who I am. People that, like, want something from me other than who I am. Like, people that are dating five other people. All those things.
- [24:10]
B
Right, right.
- [24:11]
A
And so I said, what are my results in love? Oh, my God, they're atrocious. I'm unhappy.
- [24:16]
B
Right.
- [24:16]
A
All right, what's my. What's my confirmation by. Why am I picking these? Because I'm confirming some belief. What's the belief? And I had to dig down into the muck, and that's the belief that I found, and I had to find out how to, like, oh, I had to forgive myself and love myself and, like, realize that I wasn't broken.
- [24:32]
B
How do you overcome confirmation bias?
- [24:35]
A
First you find out. You bring awareness. Okay, what's the belief that I'm confirming? And two, you actively choose the opposite.
- [24:43]
B
It's like the Costanza effect. Have you heard of that?
- [24:45]
A
Can't stand.
- [24:46]
B
Yeah, no, no, no. That's a whole other thing. Cassanza effect is like, I wrote this in one of my books, which is do the opposite. Okay, so George Costanzanza Not George Costanza. No, George Costanza. Okay, okay. Because, you know, there was an episode in Seinfeld with George Costanza where he basically, you know, he's such a like, life loser. That's the whole thing about George Costanza. But so one day he decides that he's going to do the opposite of everything he normally does to see what the, what the success rate would be as opposed to doing everything else.
- [25:14]
A
Yeah.
- [25:15]
B
And so he ultimately successful, basically did everything the opposite of what he did prior in every stage in every walk of life professionally that he got the job of the Yankees, you know, with women. He got a supermodel, like all these things. So he became extraordinarily successful with doing the opposite of what he would normally do. So it sounds to me like the confirm to get over your own confirmation bias.
- [25:38]
A
You do the Costanza, you do the.
- [25:40]
B
Cassanza effect, you do whatever the opposite is that you would normally do.
- [25:44]
A
Yeah, I think.
- [25:45]
B
Right.
- [25:45]
A
I think that's genius.
- [25:46]
B
Isn't it, though? You should, you should do that in your teachings and your learning. You know, I don't need the credit either. It's okay.
- [25:53]
A
I'll give it to you regardless.
- [25:54]
B
Thank you, Jim. I appreciate that. I like that. So that's one of the mind traps. Give me another couple.
- [26:01]
A
Double doubling down. Okay. So doubling down is like, I have a belief and there's some evidence that maybe that belief is wrong, you know, like that.
- [26:11]
B
Totally. This is happening a lot right now in the world.
- [26:13]
A
Yeah. But already I've invested so much into that belief that I'm like, I'm doubling down.
- [26:18]
B
Yeah.
- [26:18]
A
I'm going to get defensive. I'm going to hold on to that belief because I can't possibly be wrong. So I'm going to double down like this. So that's another one.
- [26:27]
B
And how many are there? How many mind traps are there?
- [26:30]
A
There's lots of. There's lots. There's. We get into all sorts of. We get into all sorts of mind traps.
- [26:36]
B
And so is it. Is. Is part of the work trying to figure out what mind trap you're. The person is doing?
- [26:42]
A
Yeah. So part of the work is what do you figure out the mind trap you're doing?
- [26:45]
B
Yeah, I mean. Yeah, the person.
- [26:47]
A
So. And that's what I do in these groups first. The first group is like breaking free. It's like, okay, let's look and bring awareness to all the bullshit that we think is real, but we've actually just created.
- [26:57]
B
Right, right.
- [26:58]
A
You know, we're so certain that all this stuff is real. And it's like, oh, right, I created this because my father said blah, blah blah.
- [27:06]
B
It feels like a lot of this is at the end of the day, the basics of like self doubt, limiting beliefs and being stuck because of the self doubt and limited beliefs.
- [27:19]
A
Yeah, totally. And, and not having the wherewithal, the awareness to say, oh, this is what's happening. And it, and it's not there, there could be another truth. I love that question. Like, is it absolutely true? I know that there is a woman who coined these questions, but my, my friend Doc Amen had me in on his show.
- [27:36]
B
Yeah.
- [27:36]
A
And he's like. And we were going through something and he's like, okay, let's run through this. Is this true? Could there possibly be any other truth? If there were like how many other truths could there be? And therefore is it true? And it's like, oh, okay. No, it's subjective. And therefore there could be other truths that are quite the opposite. And that's kind of how you, that's where you start. One is bring awareness of the thing, realize it's not true or could be another truth and then you can start to dismantle it and just.
- [28:02]
B
And like, like I find this, people get so stuck, right. Like they're in their, in their belief system like we're talking about. And it's really hard when something is like in your DNA to reprogram these thoughts. Right. So I mean, how. Go ahead, were you going to say something?
- [28:22]
A
I'm not sure. I think it's really hard if you don't have the tools of the person to lead you.
- [28:25]
B
That's what I'm saying. So like, like what's the process with it? Like if you, is it the self awareness that you're like kind of speaking about and like what is the work? Because I think that like we get so stuck in like, you know, we get distracted by all these other things in life. Like how do we move past that? And, and are these changes, can we actually make these changes that are forever? Like not just, you know, a lot of times, you know, we're going to diet and we do it for a week and then we like we re.
- [28:54]
A
Work out for a month, like, oh, I like my muscles. Then you're like.
- [28:57]
B
And then you basically you rebound back to like your, your old, your old ways.
- [29:01]
A
Have you ever had a realization that you're like, oh shit, that's a real realization. That's an aha moment.
- [29:05]
B
Have I ever? Yeah, a lot. All the time.
- [29:08]
A
And have they stayed with you forever?
- [29:10]
B
Yeah, but Then, you know, I'm just going to be honest with you. I think a lot of times what happens is life happens and then real life happens and people get back into what they normally do.
- [29:19]
A
Yeah.
- [29:19]
B
So I always ask this question to people who are like you because more often than not you're going to have a client, a client like me, right. Where I'm super like, I'm really kind of like you were saying, my mind trap is like I'm set in my ways. Like, you know, it's really hard for me to really change. Even control. It's a control thing.
- [29:39]
A
Right.
- [29:39]
B
And I can have all the self, not just me, I'm just saying. But I'm using myself here as an example, talking to you. But like you can have all the self awareness in the world, but the execution is where you make the. Make the change. But not just execution once in a while, but consistently making these things.
- [29:54]
A
Yeah, I think you're absolutely right. But I think there's two distinctions.
- [29:57]
B
Okay.
- [29:57]
A
And one is this. The first one is just like the gym. You got to keep out this stuff.
- [30:01]
B
Yeah, right.
- [30:02]
A
The second one is when you have a realization, it's forever. So if I was to say that the reason why you're stuck in your ways is because of control, because you need control, because there's a belief that you're not safe without it. And so if we go back to find why you're not safe without it, what was the impact of that original feeling of unsafety or not good enough. Because all your subconscious mind wants to keep you safe. It's all it wants to do.
- [30:27]
B
Right.
- [30:28]
A
It's for your survival. It's the operating system to keep you living and alive. Sometimes it's malformed. It's dysfunctions. Right. You don't need to be safe from this thing. In fact, it's limiting you.
- [30:37]
B
Right.
- [30:38]
A
So we would go back in hypnosis, find out that thing that you felt unsafe for, that you need control throughout your life because it's protecting you from something and we change it.
- [30:46]
B
Well, you just said that right now, Matt. The, the hip, the, the hypnosis. Because we didn't. We kind of said that the beginning. Like do, do people need these tools? Like can you, do you put people like you became a master at this, right? Hey, how does someone become a master? Hypnosis? I don't know. And can you self hypnotize? Can someone just do that on themselves or do they need somebody like you to do that?
- [31:06]
A
You can do a light sense on yourself.
- [31:08]
B
You can.
- [31:08]
A
Yeah. And then someone. So you're asking how you do this. So the tools are to ask the provocative questions, to use nlp, to start to change the mind and bring awareness, and then to actually get into the subconscious mind and use suggestion for someone's own highest good. So what that means is I'll listen to you. I'll listen to the words that you use. I'll see how your subconscious mind is actually operating, what the belief is, what your control belief is, what that.
- [31:35]
B
Do you find that if you put me in like this hypnotism, if you can hypnotize me, do you find that out or do I like.
- [31:41]
A
No, I'm already finding it out right now as we're talking.
- [31:43]
B
Oh, really?
- [31:44]
A
So when I hypnotize you. Okay, so part of this is someone who's really skilled at this, like a Tony Robbins we mentioned before, will be listening to every word you say and how you use it. And then when you go under hypnosis, that's when your mind relaxes enough that I can pose a suggestion that directly hits on that core belief that's limiting you and it will have a realization to change. And so that's like a surgeon with a scalpel. So some people can do really good and some people are okay.
- [32:13]
B
Really? Yeah. So how did you get really good at?
- [32:16]
A
I started in the beginning. Like, I. I was like always watching my father and figuring out how his mind works so I could stay safe. So that's why every issue, every trauma, every obstacle is for your highest good. Without this illness, without this limp, without this fear that I wasn't lovable, without the abusive father, I would not have a laser focus ability to understand you and help you change. And I feel so fulfilled by that. Every time someone heals in my presence, the energy of their healing, and this is the woo woo stuff, maybe the energy of their healing heals me. I feel like I am growing by leaps and bounds this year. My energy, my healing, everything.
- [32:57]
B
Because you said the word identity a bunch of times before. Is it because you're helping people change their identity of who they believe they are?
- [33:06]
A
Yeah. There's two things. One, practical. Everything I do is practical and spiritual. So the practical identity is like, I believe I'm good enough for this. Right. If you believe that you can make a million dollars. Like, I met with a guy the other day, he's like, I believe that I can charge $15,000 an hour and I'm good enough for that. I can provide enough value for that. And people pay it. And some if you don't believe that that's possible.
- [33:27]
B
Totally agree.
- [33:27]
A
No one's gonna pay you.
- [33:29]
B
And if you don't believe in yourself, nobody. How do. How do you expect anyone else to believe in you? Right? Yeah, totally.
- [33:35]
A
But also, I didn't move from New York City for so long because, like, I'm an East Village type of guy. I need a little edge. I need a little dirt. And that's also a belief in my identity, which is bullshit. I actually like. I like warm weather and.
- [33:46]
B
Yeah, I know. You just swim in nice pools.
- [33:49]
A
You know, I thought that basic.
- [33:51]
B
I know, exactly, that you're too beige, you know. Yeah, but so. So then something happens. You see, the realization that you can change, like that. That.
- [34:01]
A
The realization that you can change your identity, you can step into something new, like your identity is just a program, and let's reprogram something else, right? And then there's this idea started in the Bible, maybe even before it, and Saint Ignatius. It's called the violence, the violet flame. And it's called the I am Discords, which says that Jesus himself was the I am the creator. God's the creator. I'm not religious. I'm spiritual. But when we say God, there is something bigger than us, right? And so the I am discords say that, you know, within the presence of God, God is the I am. And God is experiencing itself through us. And we can't remember because you can't actually have your own consciousness if you remember that you're God. So consider this just the chance of it, that God is experiencing itself through us, that God reaches down his fingers like we become people. And now we're walking around as people, right? And we're really the creator itself. And therefore, we can create through the I am. And practically, when we say I am something, it becomes something. But also the more spiritual, the more like, the more encompassing, the more expansive thing is that we are creation itself. We are the I am itself.
- [35:14]
B
So, like, I am what I am. Give me an example.
- [35:19]
A
Here's an example. Here's an example. Well, practically, I am stupid. Or practically, I am a divine creature that could probably learn anything. Or here's a more expansive example. I am the ocean in a drop. I am not the wave. I am the ocean, right?
- [35:39]
B
Because. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're the bigger. You're the bigger of the. Yeah, we think we're the wave, right? But we're not have the power to. We're bigger than that.
- [35:47]
A
But the wave is part of the ocean. We're not separate from things.
- [35:50]
B
Do you believe in manifestation?
- [35:53]
A
I do. Yeah.
- [35:54]
B
You do. Okay. What's your definition of manifestation? If you just think about it, it will show up.
- [36:00]
A
Yeah. I believe we're manifesting everything. Like, I manifested this. I, like, I. I watched it on Instagram. We met 10 years ago. I wanted to meet you. I wanted to be on your show. I. I asked, I had. I think I reached out. Like, that was manifestation. And if, like. And if I have another belief that's bad, I manifest it.
- [36:16]
B
Right, Right.
- [36:17]
A
Manifestation is the expression of intention and action that brings about a result.
- [36:22]
B
Okay, you just said the word action.
- [36:24]
A
Yeah.
- [36:24]
B
Right. So it's not just putting something on a vision board and hoping and thinking that it's going to happen.
- [36:30]
A
We have a reticular activating system that says in our minds that I'm going to go find that thing I see every day. Right. All of a sudden, like, you buy a yellow Jeep and you see lots of yellow Jeeps.
- [36:38]
B
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
- [36:39]
A
But. No, absolutely, that's part of it. But if you're not taking action every day, like getting out there, hitting the streets, then like that, that man's not going to show up in your living room if you've never left the house.
- [36:49]
B
So that. So, yeah. So the reason why I'm saying that, because manifestation seems very passive just in itself, but you have to add that action piece to it or else it's just in your head right. Now. What about. What do you call it? Like, when people have these, like, slogans all the time, they. They like, repeat over and over again.
- [37:06]
A
Mantras.
- [37:07]
B
Not just. Do you believe in mantras?
- [37:08]
A
Affirmations.
- [37:09]
B
Affirmations. You believe in affirmations?
- [37:11]
A
I believe that we're saying so many negative things to ourselves, why not counteract it with a few positive ones every now and then?
- [37:18]
B
Right.
- [37:18]
A
The problem is you say your three affirmations in the morning and at night and you think you're doing something good. And throughout the rest of the day you're saying, I'm stupid, I'm fat, I'm dumb, I'm not lovable.
- [37:26]
B
Right. Well, I also think there's something to be said. And you tell me, what about just having affirmations if you don't truly believe it? I mean, isn't that kind of like, kind of the intent? Like, isn't that kind of like an oxymoron? Yeah.
- [37:38]
A
Like shooting a BB gun at a piece of steel?
- [37:40]
B
Well, no. Or, yeah. Or say, like, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful when I really think I'm ugly. Like, don't you really have to believe what you're affirming for it to actually be something that works?
- [37:51]
A
Yeah, I think so.
- [37:52]
B
Or is your. Or it could be like, is your opinion that if you say it enough, you'll end up believing it?
- [37:58]
A
I think that you have to start to counteract any negative thought. And affirmations help. Do. I think they're like the silver bullet and that's all you need to do is wake up, do your 10 affirmations. No, I think that's like drinking green juice. You know, one green juice isn't going to heal you, and then you go smoke some cigarettes.
- [38:15]
B
Right. It's a lifestyle.
- [38:17]
A
Yeah.
- [38:17]
B
Now you got to do it over and over again.
- [38:18]
A
Yeah, you got to do a lot.
- [38:19]
B
I was going to ask you more about hypnosis because I'm very fascinated by that. Is. Is hypnosis mind control? Like, is that what you're doing? Are you mind. Is it. Is it very.
- [38:29]
A
Hypnosis allows you to control your own mind. Now, there are, like, there are stage hypnosis.
- [38:35]
B
What's that?
- [38:36]
A
Like a guy up on stage that will call up an audience and then make them act like chicken and that kind of stuff.
- [38:41]
B
Does that actually work?
- [38:42]
A
Yes. Yes.
- [38:43]
B
Really? Has that ever happened to you?
- [38:45]
A
No.
- [38:45]
B
Okay. I've never.
- [38:46]
A
I do more clinical hypnosis.
- [38:48]
B
No, I mean, have that. Have you ever been in the. In the.
- [38:50]
A
I've seen it happen. Yes.
- [38:51]
B
I know. People really do that.
- [38:53]
A
Yeah. But that's. There's someone that. So we each have our different ability to be hypnotized. We go into hypnosis all the time. You're driving a car and you're thinking you're watching a movie, you're scrolling on Instagram.
- [39:04]
B
Yeah.
- [39:04]
A
That's why Instagram in the news is so detrimental, because you're literally scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, and you become suggestible to all those messages. Right. That's why advertising is so powerful. They have a lot of blinking lights, and then they tell you something and you're like, oh, maybe that's true. Maybe I am. Maybe I do need that skin care.
- [39:21]
B
Yeah. 100%.
- [39:22]
A
Yeah. So there is different people. And the person that is most hypnotizable, it's called a somnambulist, they go in like that, and then they're like, they don't remember. And that's the person you can tell by the way they flutter their eyes when they look up. And so a stage hypnotist will look for that person, call them up on stage, and then get them to act Like a chicken, really. So they're actually controlling them. But most hypnosis just allows you to have a little bit more of a grip on your own mind.
- [39:48]
B
Are you so. So the kind that you do. Is a person conscious while you're doing it? Like, or do they.
- [39:54]
A
They're in a deep trance state, which.
- [39:56]
B
Means, like, do they even know? So they don't know what they're saying or.
- [39:59]
A
They do. They do. They're not unconscious, and they're not, like, out of it so much. That's not therapeutic. So we go into a deep trance state, which is like, ultimate relaxation. So your body can accept suggestions, but not. So you're, like, waking up and going, where the. Where the hell?
- [40:14]
B
Really?
- [40:14]
A
Yeah. That's not it.
- [40:15]
B
How long does it take to get somebody in this trans state?
- [40:19]
A
Three minutes.
- [40:20]
B
That's it. Can you do it to me right this second?
- [40:23]
A
Yeah.
- [40:23]
B
Seriously? Okay. Do it.
- [40:25]
A
Okay.
- [40:26]
B
I'm nervous.
- [40:27]
A
What are you nervous about?
- [40:28]
B
I don't know.
- [40:29]
A
Yeah.
- [40:29]
B
Okay. What do I do? Do I sit here?
- [40:32]
A
This is all you have to do. The interesting part about hypnosis is that you don't have to do anything because.
- [40:37]
B
Aren'T you doing the work?
- [40:38]
A
No, you're doing the work. We're all doing the work. This is the only thing that you have to do.
- [40:42]
B
Okay.
- [40:43]
A
The only thing that you have to do is just put your hands like this. Put your hands up. It's really the only thing they have to do. And now all you have to do is just literally listen to my voice. And as you look at me, also notice all the things that you can see out of the corners of your eyes without. Just look right here. And as you look right here, just notice all the things that you can see in your peripheral vision. And as you do, you already start to notice your hands start to tingle a little bit, first on your right side and then on your left. So much so that as you listen to my voice, you may even be able to hear the hum in the background of the other things that are happening. And your body starts to sink just a little bit further as you stare at that spot on my face. And notice all the things you can see out of the corners of your eyes and notice your hand starts to tingle on the left side. And you listen to my voice and notice all those other things. You may even start to notice that your eyes start to blink a little bit more as you start to go down. As you give yourself permission to just experience. As you give yourself just that permission to experience that one moment. Because in this one moment, for a moment, we just have a moment. And every moment, from moment to moment, is like a breath. And as your breath gets deeper, it just goes a little bit further, further and further and deeper and deeper, more relaxed. And as you do experience that breath from moment to moment, for this moment, then another moment, your eyes just get heavy and you relax. That's all it is. It's just to give permission to just have that relax. It's almost as, like, lead weights pull your eyes down, they become heavier until it's just easier and easier just to let them close. Sometimes. Sometimes just once in a while, from moment to moment. Having our eyes closed is so comfortable.
- [42:15]
B
She closed my eyes.
- [42:17]
A
What did you feel specifically? You were fighting it.
- [42:21]
B
I was. I feel like if I wasn't on the podcast, like, I felt pressure, so I was like. More like. Like on edge. But probably. If I wasn't, I would probably just close. I would have closed my eyes and probably felt more.
- [42:34]
A
Yeah, there is. Well, there is something called shock hypnosis, that if I was holding your head, I could pull. You press your head and you'd, like, go down because I'd have to shut off your br.
- [42:42]
B
Brain. Yeah. I felt like I was, like, thinking about, like, oh, my God.
- [42:44]
A
And then there are other times that, like, so what I'll do with people, I'll go through that test, right, to see whether they have resistance or not. And then we'll start over again. Wake up and start over again. And this is just a simple thing. And until I find out your kind of technique and you can just give yourself permission. Just hold your hand up like this. Just for a second now.
- [43:04]
B
Okay.
- [43:04]
A
Yeah. And I'm just going to tap on your middle finger and just stare at your middle finger. That's all you have to do. Just for a second.
- [43:09]
B
Like this?
- [43:09]
A
No, no. Just hold your hand up like that. Good. And just stare at your middle finger. And as you just stare at your middle finger, you may start to notice that your fingers start to spread naturally further and further as you.
- [43:19]
B
Yeah, that's weird, actually. But is that, like. That is weird.
- [43:23]
A
You are resistant. I'll get you.
- [43:25]
B
You know, I'll tell you a silly story. I don't know if you care or not, but I remember I got invited to go to this place called Arrhythmia to do this ayahuasca retreat.
- [43:33]
A
Yeah, I've heard arrhythmia.
- [43:34]
B
Okay. Okay. So I went, like, many years, like, five years ago, whatever. And, like, I was the only person they invited. I don't know, like 30 of us. And like, it's ayahuasca. It's like, it's like, you drink this stuff. You know what I want. I'm sure you do. I was stone cold sober. Didn't feel a thing.
- [43:50]
A
That's your control. That's how powerful your control.
- [43:52]
B
Need is not crazy.
- [43:55]
A
Yes. No, I mean, it's yes and no crazy.
- [43:59]
B
Yeah.
- [43:59]
A
It's so interesting that your need for control can override ayahuasca.
- [44:04]
B
I was stone cold. And if you know anything about the place, it's four nights. You're there for four, four or five nights. And every night it gets stronger and stronger and stronger. And it's me in a room full of 30 people, everyone's barfing and going to the bathroom on me. I was like, it was so gross. And they don't let you leave. Like you have to stay in that area because it's like dangerous, I guess, if you wander around. And it was from like, I guess nine o' clock at night till six in the morning and nothing was happening to me. And I was like, oh my God, when can I get out of this place? It was unbeliev. But that's because I was like, I don't know why. I guess my brain is just not allowing me to do that. And I think I can't be the only one that happens to.
- [44:45]
A
No, I think there is some people in the world that psychedelics just. They have the genes that psychedelics don't.
- [44:51]
B
No, no, I'm not saying that. But I'm saying that, that have that con, that control.
- [44:55]
A
Probably what it was is that your need, your drive for control is so strong that it just had the power to over like the mind body connection is amazing. It literally had the power to override the ayahuasca.
- [45:05]
B
Yeah, yeah. Have you ever had clients like that before who are just.
- [45:08]
A
There's always a way. There's always a way. So sometimes it takes longer. Like I'd have to work with you and figure out how you'll release that control. I noticed when I said you can give yourself permission that you sunk down just a little bit.
- [45:20]
B
Only because I felt I had to. Because I was like being looked at. Like I felt like, you know what I mean? Like I felt that was like what I had to do.
- [45:26]
A
Yeah, but your need for control is like a really strong drive. And what would it be like if you didn't need to have that control?
- [45:33]
B
No, I think. Well, what I think is what I would find interesting is in like with people who have type A personalities who really need the control.
- [45:40]
A
Yeah.
- [45:40]
B
There has to be, like, something that you guys do, you or whoever, to, like, break through that. Because I. I cannot imagine I'm the only type A person in the world who's unable to, like, release that control, you know?
- [45:54]
A
No, I. You're right.
- [45:55]
B
Yeah.
- [45:55]
A
There's a lot of things that we can do.
- [45:57]
B
Yeah. Not. Not just with me, but I'm saying in general. In general. In general. Right.
- [46:00]
A
Yeah.
- [46:01]
B
And so would you say a lot, like, you work with. I would say, like, how does this help people get over trauma? Right. When it's so deep seated in them?
- [46:09]
A
Yeah, you can. A lot of times what I'll do, it's kind of called quantum leaping. Like, we will go back and experience, like, we'll go back in a relaxed state and experience that point of trauma again, and we'll reframe it. Because the body, it's no longer happening. The only place it lives in our memory. If you change that memory a little bit, so you change the outcome. So there's a woman that, like, had this issue with her father and, like, really scary, really abusive, really crazy issue. We went back and. And changed that experience, that memory, and then she couldn't remember it any other way. Things got a lot easier for her. And I've done that a bunch of times where people have this kind of, like, memory of something. We can go back, quantum leap back into where that memory exists, is in your mind and change it so that it has an outcome that you would want.
- [46:56]
B
Wow.
- [46:57]
A
Yeah.
- [46:57]
B
Have you heard of something called Somatic Healing? Is that similar.
- [47:01]
A
Somatic Healing is like movement through your body. Yeah. Which is awesome, but this is more of a hypnosis type of trance work.
- [47:17]
B
Okay, let's take a quick break to talk about something that's completely transformed how I approach design for my business. You know that moment when you need a logo or marketing materials or even a complete rebrand, but you have no idea where to start? I used to spend hours just scrolling through portfolios, wondering if I'd find someone who actually understood my vision. That's where 99designs by Vista completely changed everything for me. What I love about their platform is how they've made working with talented designers from around the world incredibly simple. You have two options. You can run a contest where their entire creative community submits ideas and you pick your favorite. Or you can work one on one with a designer who is perfectly matched to your project. I've used both approaches, and honestly, the quality has blown me away every single time. From logos to complete branding packages, these designers just get it. And here's what's really setting them apart. They're with you from pitch to perfection, offering creative support every step of the way. So if you're ready to bring your brand vision to Life, head to 99designs.com.gen20. That's the number. 99designs.com.gen 20 and click claim my discount to get $20 off your first design contest. Your brand deserves this level of creativity, Trust me. So besides the fact that you had this injury that kind of made you feel you're not lovable, has there been anything else that kind of put you on this path of self healing and transformation?
- [49:03]
A
I don't know what it was. I think I've just been made for it. I think that we find our way.
- [49:07]
B
Yeah, like.
- [49:08]
A
But I think it's just destined because.
- [49:10]
B
You had this injury. When did this happen to you?
- [49:13]
A
When I was 21.
- [49:14]
B
Right. And you didn't nap like that. You didn't naturally just go into this, right?
- [49:19]
A
No, I think it was my upbringing, my father, all those things. Right. That, and then I think that another. Another woo woo thing. But I think that.
- [49:26]
B
Okay, you can tell me the woo things. Just explain it.
- [49:29]
A
Yeah. I believe that there's a book, Many lives, Many masters. And I studied with this guy, Dr. Brian Weiss, and he talks about, you know, kind of past lives and like that we travel. And there's. The Buddhists believe this too. That we. We carry karma. Karma. That's my Boston accent. We carry karma through a lifetime. Through your lifetime. And I think that sometimes you're just meant for things like how could you possibly be as good and at what you do? Right. Every time I see you getting younger and more fit, like leading more and more people.
- [49:57]
B
Who are you talking to?
- [49:57]
A
Yeah, Ed. Right. There's something that is meant. That is like in the stars written in your spiritual DNA.
- [50:06]
B
So you think some things are just destined?
- [50:08]
A
Yes.
- [50:09]
B
So you believe in destiny?
- [50:10]
A
Yes.
- [50:11]
B
Really?
- [50:12]
A
I believe in a lot of that. I also believe that. I also believe. And yeah.
- [50:17]
B
Now tell me, tell me. Don't just stop.
- [50:18]
A
I believe in. I believe in past lives. I believe that I've been traveling this path for quite some time.
- [50:24]
B
Really?
- [50:24]
A
Yes.
- [50:25]
B
And that you kind of just like took a. Like a pit stop in the VC world.
- [50:29]
A
I think that it was always in health, though.
- [50:32]
B
It was actually. You also. I remember. You know what I remember about you? You opened up like a next. Hel. I don't know what you call. You had like a. Like a Spot.
- [50:40]
A
Modern sanctuary.
- [50:41]
B
Yeah, modern sanctuary. And it was like. It was saunas. Yeah. Salt baths.
- [50:47]
A
Salt room. Himalayan salt room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've always been in health and, like, mindset.
- [50:54]
B
Yeah.
- [50:54]
A
So there was a past life where I was a shaman.
- [50:58]
B
You think so?
- [50:59]
A
Oh, that's what I experienced when I was regressed into it.
- [51:02]
B
Really? Hold on. How did you regress into that?
- [51:05]
A
It's through deep state of trance.
- [51:07]
B
And you remember yourself being in the.
- [51:08]
A
I remember myself being a shaman. Yeah.
- [51:11]
B
So then, like, by the way, whatever happened to that place, Modern sanctuary Covet killed it. That's right. And what was it? It had the sound. It had the salt bat, the Salt.
- [51:21]
A
Had the 10,000 pound Himalayan salt room.
- [51:24]
B
Totally remember that. Now you told me. What else. Did it have anything else in there?
- [51:28]
A
All the longevity stuff. It had crystal healing sound beds, and then it had red light and we had like pmef everything. All the good stuff.
- [51:38]
B
Like, you had the best stuff. I remember.
- [51:40]
A
Yeah.
- [51:41]
B
So, yeah. Like, you. You were really doing a lot of different modalities in health, wellness, longevity for.
- [51:48]
A
A. I still do all of the biohacking. Well, you do. I try to, yeah. My sister opened a place called the Parlor, which Next Health moved into and.
- [51:56]
B
Oh, really? In New York.
- [51:57]
A
In New York.
- [51:58]
B
Okay. And. And what's the Parlor?
- [52:00]
A
The Parlor is like a space, a large space in New York City. It's that biohacker, basically. Beauty experts and biohackers go and, you know, do all work out of work out of. And so Next Health has space there with, you know, a big space there that they set up with HBOT and all the good cryo and all this stuff.
- [52:22]
B
You still do all that stuff?
- [52:23]
A
Yeah, so every time. So I will see some people in person, and then when I. I'll go to my sister's place and I'll just go and like, into the next health playground. Makes me feel so good. I think that when you get your body optimized, like, then you, like, you can almost free your mind.
- [52:40]
B
I think. I think the. All of this stuff goes hand in hand. Right. When you take care. Well, but not always. I know a lot of people take care of themselves physically, but then mentally they're just completely, like, they're not interested. But I think part of, like, I think as you get old, for me anyway, I think as I get older, I want to expand, I want to know more, I want to grow more. It's like personal development, like the whole personal development is like knowing how you can learn and push more. Push, not push more. But push through your own self.
- [53:09]
A
Yeah.
- [53:09]
B
And like your own limitations. But I'm interested. Like, how did. What kind of deep work or what kind of deep trance. Were you under hypnosis when you thought and figured out that you were a shaman?
- [53:21]
A
Yeah. Yeah.
- [53:22]
B
Really?
- [53:22]
A
Yes. And in fact, this guy who wrote the book, Dr. Brian Weiss, he's the one. He's like the most famous name for this.
- [53:30]
B
For this stuff.
- [53:30]
A
Yeah. He wrote a book called Many Lives, Many Masters and he. He actually regressed me.
- [53:35]
B
And what happens when you. Okay, so now that you know that, what does it do for you? Like, what does that mean? It just. It's another puzzle piece.
- [53:41]
A
Exactly.
- [53:41]
B
Right. Yeah.
- [53:43]
A
He wrote in his book what he wrote with the patients that he had. They were like overcoming fears and phobias in this life because they understood that like they drowned in a past life. And for me. What? It didn't do anything.
- [53:53]
B
It didn't. Nothing. It just. You woke up and you went. You went for lunch and got your green juice.
- [53:58]
A
Yeah. Literally.
- [53:59]
B
Yeah.
- [53:59]
A
Yeah.
- [54:00]
B
So then you. So now this is what you do. Like, so you have like, do you have like a whole client list? You see people one on one. Do you see. Only. Do you do groups? Like, what's your thing?
- [54:11]
A
I do groups. So what I found is that people really are attracted to this and they want. There's like. Whether they know it or they want personal development. Right. And they go to like the Joe Dispenza's and the Tony Robbins and whomever it is, but they're always in a group of like 12, 000 people.
- [54:28]
B
So many. Yeah, right. People love Joe Dispenza.
- [54:31]
A
I like him.
- [54:31]
B
You do? Yeah.
- [54:33]
A
Yeah. I don't know him, but I like him.
- [54:35]
B
But you like his work?
- [54:36]
A
I've done his. Some of his retreats.
- [54:38]
B
You have?
- [54:39]
A
Yeah.
- [54:39]
B
Some of my people, like some of my friends who've gone to these retreats of his say that they've been trend, like literally transformative. Yeah, yeah.
- [54:47]
A
Crazy stuff happens.
- [54:49]
B
Yeah. But do you think that someone has to be like. Be at a certain place in their life to even.
- [54:55]
A
Yes. 100.
- [54:56]
B
Like you can be like if you're. If you're. If you are skeptical, if you are closed off, is it just. It's like hard to penetrate that wall. Right.
- [55:05]
A
Yeah. And so I run these groups and they're small, so I can give people personal attention and like, so you can actually have real healing. And the people that join these groups are open to it.
- [55:17]
B
Open to it.
- [55:18]
A
Right. I'm not. I can't grab Someone that is like not open to it and they're not ready for that level of expansion.
- [55:25]
B
Yeah, exactly.
- [55:26]
A
Yeah. That's not the crew that I'm looking for. I'm looking for someone who is experiencing difficulties and realizes there's the potential for something more by going deeper into something that they can't see.
- [55:38]
B
And you say everyone. It has to be consistent work. Right. For healing. But part of it, what are the. Besides, okay, so we know the self awareness. We know you got to do it consistently. You got to be consistently doing it. What is the work that people can do on their own to help heal themselves?
- [55:53]
A
Yeah. So like exercise is one of those things.
- [55:55]
B
Yeah, you said that.
- [55:56]
A
Right?
- [55:57]
B
For sure.
- [55:58]
A
100%. You know this. You know what comes first? The mind or the body? One or the other? They're both. It's a mind, body, experience. So if you're not right. So exercise. But meditation. But not just simple meditation, like trance work or I really like deep trance work or hypnosis. That's another thing that you have to. Yeah. If you don't do it once and it's done, you keep going.
- [56:17]
B
Right.
- [56:18]
A
And you have realizations, then you can do shadow work, which shadow work is.
- [56:21]
B
Right. You didn't tell me what that is.
- [56:23]
A
All right. Shadow work is like, I have all, like, my shadow came out with that story that I told about the envy and the jealousy. Envy and jealousy are your shadows. You're never getting rid of your shadow.
- [56:33]
B
Right.
- [56:34]
A
Ever.
- [56:34]
B
Do we all have envy?
- [56:36]
A
Everybody has a show. I don't know, maybe yours is guilt or shame. I don't know.
- [56:40]
B
How do we find what our shadow is?
- [56:41]
A
It's the results that you have in your life. So let's say if you're in a love relationship, okay. And you're super jealous of the. Of the. Of. Of whomever your partner's ex partner is. Or they can't even go to like out to dinner. And if they speak to someone that's of the opposite sex, like, you freak out. So that's a. That, that fear, when. That's fear of abandonment. All the things, those are your shadows. And it's like, okay, I recognize that's in me, right? I recognize that I was jealous of that guy doing really well. And that's my shadow. And so you're never going to remove your shadow completely, but you can integrate it and say, oh, I remember you.
- [57:21]
B
Right?
- [57:21]
A
And that's okay.
- [57:22]
B
That's okay. Give me another shadow.
- [57:24]
A
Okay. It's all the negative things. All the negative things. Sometimes, like if you're confronted and you're out of control and you, like, become like, totally a jerk. Complete, you know, like a really, like, unkind person. Right, that's one.
- [57:40]
B
So what would be the shadow?
- [57:41]
A
You're just your unkindness.
- [57:43]
B
Unkind.
- [57:43]
A
Yeah. The shadow is based on your fear of losing control. You become impatient and unkind. And so you can like, okay, you can like, one, not have any awareness of that or feel guilty afterwards that you did that. Or you could say, listen, I know that this comes up in myself. It's my shadow. I'm gonna make friends with it. I love you. That's okay.
- [58:03]
B
Yeah, exactly.
- [58:04]
A
That's okay. And then you continue on and it diminishes. Like, it becomes less of a control.
- [58:08]
B
Over you because you're saying once you're aware of it, it diminishes.
- [58:13]
A
If you work on it, another shadow may be like, okay, you go on a date, you have sex with someone and then ghost them.
- [58:18]
B
So if you know the shadow.
- [58:20]
A
Yeah.
- [58:20]
B
You work on it. How? I guess I'm always coming back, back to the actionable, practical. How do you work on it? Because I think, okay, most people are now at the place where they can at least recognize. I mean, so one way.
- [58:34]
A
Here's one way you can work on it.
- [58:36]
B
What their shadow is, okay. Besides exercise, because that's not going to. You can't exercise away your shadow.
- [58:41]
A
Yeah. You're working on it one way or another. Whether you're like smoking cigarettes, watching TV and drinking, or you're like, oh, this just happened. It created a difficult emotion in me and I'm going to examine that. I'm going to journal about it, I'm going to think about it, and then I'm going to commit to changing or diminishing it. And that's like through acceptance. So unfortunately, you can't do push ups for it.
- [59:03]
B
Right. You can't do pushups.
- [59:04]
A
Right. It's like all mental.
- [59:06]
B
Yeah, it's. Or just do the Costanza effect, which is just do the opposite of what you normally would do.
- [59:11]
A
Love it.
- [59:11]
B
Bring it back. Yeah, I think we should bring it back. I think we should do a whole mastermind on it.
- [59:16]
A
I think you're right. We could do it together.
- [59:18]
B
We could.
- [59:18]
A
Yeah.
- [59:19]
B
Okay. I'm gonna. I'm gonna be that part. I'll bring that part into it.
- [59:21]
A
I love it.
- [59:22]
B
I love that. So that. Okay, so basically it's self awareness. Recognizing what you're like what it is.
- [59:29]
A
Building self awareness. Recognizing. Yep.
- [59:31]
B
And trying to do the opposite or stopping yourself from doing that.
- [59:36]
A
Same pattern acceptance and then active change acceptance. Yep. Recognizing self awareness, acceptance of it. Instead of being like oh my God, I hate myself or I hate you where all that stuff, it's just like. All right, I get it. It's here. All right, fine.
- [59:51]
B
Right.
- [59:52]
A
Love you anyways and let. You're a jerk. Love you anyway.
- [59:56]
B
Exactly. Okay, one more question and then I'm going to let you go.
- [60:00]
A
Okay.
- [60:00]
B
Can you talk about the power of gratitude? We all hear the word, it's a very hashtag friendly word. Right. Why is it such a hashtag friendly word? I think a lot of times people say have gratitude, be grateful. But it can like, it's like basically a platitude if you don't really mean it. What happens when someone does show and feel gratitude?
- [60:22]
A
I know it happens like in myself. I know it happens in the people that I work with. You know, things immediately lift when you, when you look at what you have instead of what's missing. I mean you can feel that change immediately when you're grateful for, you know, it's like looking at the outcome you want versus the one you don't. So I think yeah, we talk about a lot because it's an easy thing.
- [60:41]
B
Like so. And I feel like this is the problem. I think people like hold on to these like low hanging fruit, like these very like, like hashtag friendly words, but there's no meaning behind it. If you.
- [60:52]
A
Or they don't actually do it.
- [60:53]
B
They don't. Most of people don't do it. Yeah.
- [60:56]
A
And it seems like it's like body.
- [60:58]
B
Positivity but everyone's not body positive for themselves, you know, or drink more water.
- [61:03]
A
And it's like, how's that actually going to help me?
- [61:04]
B
Yeah, exactly.
- [61:05]
A
You know why it's important.
- [61:06]
B
Exactly.
- [61:07]
A
I think gratitude, I think gratitude is like drink more water. If you actually drink eight glasses of water a day, you'll see your skin and your body and everything change.
- [61:16]
B
Right. That's true. So you've got some, some. So your point is like you have to actually do the thing to see what the result is and to get the benefit from it.
- [61:25]
A
Yeah. If you're like be grateful and then.
- [61:27]
B
And they do nothing to be great and then you don't like, then you're not happy with anything that you have. Like, like is it what I, what is like be happy with what you have, not with. There's a whole saying behind it. I don't remember it, but yeah, I think that's part of it. Like implementation. I, that's where I Get, I get very hung up on. Right. People can say whatever they want to say, but then they have to implement to have any of the real benefit.
- [61:49]
A
I agree. And it's like, okay, so the gratitude practice is like writing three in the morning and three at night. It's like, oh yeah, that's like doing three push ups in the morning, three at night.
- [61:58]
B
Yeah.
- [61:58]
A
It's like, then throughout the day, every time a negative feeling comes up, you need to switch to gratitude. That's what builds the muscle.
- [62:04]
B
Do you know what I like about people like you? Even like, this is where I think, because as I'm talking to you and I'm thinking like, how does this actually work in real time, in real life? I think having someone like you in some as a coach or something, it's, it's the accountability aspect too, right? Like you become accountable to yourself to make better decisions, make better behavior, do better behaviors for yourself. Because it's like a constant reminder, you know, like this is something like someone like you for. I'm just trying to think of how it works with people who are like strong willed and da da, da da. It's like you're a good balance and a reminder for people like, you know what, like make sure you're aware, make sure you're accept maybe. Make sure you accept it. Like maybe. And then you do these like tweaks with the, with the hypnosis and these are all like tools, right? Like the sauna, it's all tools. You know, they're all just tools that help you get to what you need. Like even if you're just a little bit better, like it's not about being a hundred percent healed, but if, even if you're like 2% healed, it's very.
- [63:04]
A
Zero, I don't think. I mean, God bless.
- [63:06]
B
I mean, I can't imagine. But Even if you're 1% healed, 2% healed, it's at least better than 0%.
- [63:12]
A
Yeah. Every day, one step. That's it, right? Every day, one step, mind and body to a much better. That's you take one step and the next step follows until you're in a much better life.
- [63:20]
B
I think, I think that to me is like what my takeaway is. It's like having people around that are like you who remind people that they can change their belief system, their identity and they can become unstuck, even if it's uncomfortable, but it's a good reminder of how to do it.
- [63:43]
A
My goal is only to just, if I can just open up thought and the, the The.
- [63:49]
B
The NLP part, I think is really good.
- [63:51]
A
Yeah. Open up the potential for just some small shift to greater. That's it. That's all I need.
- [63:57]
B
So, Jim, where do people find you?
- [63:58]
A
Jim Curtis 1. I have a group starting soon. Probably not when this comes up. So Jim Curtis one is a great way to find me. You can buy my books on Amazon Shift and the Stimulati experience and on TikTok and stuff. But Amazon, I mean, Instagram's the best.
- [64:14]
B
Instagram, TikTok. Jim Curtis 1. How big are your groups, by the way, when you do what you said, like these?
- [64:20]
A
I'll keep them with 35 people.
- [64:22]
B
35 people. Wow, that's a lot of people. And where do you do them?
- [64:27]
A
They're online. They're virtual groups.
- [64:29]
B
Oh, they're all virtual groups.
- [64:30]
A
Yep. But we'll meet in person once, usually in New York City. So people come in from all over the world.
- [64:35]
B
You can do at the parlor.
- [64:36]
A
Yeah, it's not big enough. I mean, the parlor is huge, but the rooms are divided up, are small. Yeah.
- [64:41]
B
Well, thank you. And the books.
- [64:43]
A
I want to just say one thing.
- [64:44]
B
Yeah?
- [64:45]
A
I'm really grateful for you. Why?
- [64:47]
B
Why did you just say that?
- [64:48]
A
Because I think that you shared your energy with me and you allowed me on this show, and, like, what I had in this experience is, like, I like you a lot and I'm grateful for you.
- [64:57]
B
Oh, my God, you're so sweet. Did you say that to everybody after the podcast?
- [65:00]
A
No.
- [65:01]
B
I feel the same way. You're such a sweetheart. I'm so happy you came on the show. You know, and I don't, like I say this earlier, like, a lot of these things I feel are, like, above my head. Like, above my pay grade in a way. Like, I don't quite understand it. I so desperately want to try because I'm so wrapped up in, like, practical. Practical. Real. Real. Real. Like tangible. Tangible is the word I was looking for that. When I meet people like you who really, really are doing it in an authentic way, it really, like, I can feel myself getting closer to, like, understanding it. The problem is, I find a lot of people are. Are snake oil salesmen in this business, and they are not doing it for the right reasons or they're not living the real like they pretend, but they don't really live. Like, they're not really living that way. So when I meet people like you, that's why I said, like, I'm really happy that I met you and you came on this show because you really are genuinely that person I can feel. I can feel it in my gut.
- [66:00]
A
Oh, thank you.
- [66:01]
B
It's true. And you look like John Stamos, so it doesn't hurt either, but that's a whole other story. But thank you for being here. I do. I really appreciate it.
- [66:09]
A
Thank you. You're welcome.