Podcast Summary: Habits and Hustle – Episode 521

Guest: Dr. Shadé Zahrai, PhD
Host: Jen Cohen
Date: January 20, 2026
Title: The Science of Acting Through Self-Doubt

Episode Overview

In this episode, Jen Cohen welcomes Dr. Shadé Zahrai, peak performance educator, organizational behavior PhD, and author of Big Trust: Rewire Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence, and Fuel Success. Together, they dive deep into the science behind self-doubt, the misconceptions around confidence, and practical strategies to overcome internal barriers to action and fulfillment. Shadé shares her groundbreaking four-pillar framework for understanding and transcending self-doubt, rooted in extensive research and actionable insights.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Rethinking Self-Doubt: Confidence vs. Self-Trust

• Common misconception: People assume the opposite of self-doubt is confidence.
• Shadé’s insight:

  "When we fundamentally ask people what is the opposite of self-doubt, they will say confidence... But when we look at decades worth of literature, we find that that feeling of confidence comes after we take action... The opposite of self-doubt is not confidence, it’s trusting yourself." (01:30)

• The process is: self-trust → action → evidence → competence → confidence.

2. The Four Core Drivers of Self-Doubt

Shadé's research reveals that self-doubt is rooted in four core self-evaluations (core personality traits), each improvable through targeted habits.

2.1 Acceptance (Self-Esteem)

• Definition: The habit of fundamentally accepting oneself, separating identity from achievements.
• Consequences of low acceptance: Outsourcing self-worth, perfectionism, people-pleasing, internalizing failures.
• Notable Quote:

  “When you don’t accept yourself, you outsource your worth. You take feedback personally. You feel like you’re constantly chasing a feeling of enoughness." (04:18)

• Practical strategies:
  Get a hobby (09:18) — Nobel laureates are far likelier to have a creative/performing hobby, which diversifies identity and boosts esteem.
  Intentional delay (27:32) — Create space before responding to requests to avoid automatic people-pleasing.
  Meet spec, not perfection (30:43) — Focus on process over outcome; avoid tying worth to results.

2.2 Agency (Self-Efficacy)

• Definition: Belief and habit of perceiving oneself as capable of taking effective action.
• Symptoms of low agency: Imposter syndrome, comparison, feeling undeserving.
• Action tips:
  Comparison to Emulation (35:20) — Instead of negative comparison, study others’ paths and adapt learnings.
  Expect challenges, visualize recovery (Michael Phelps story, 37:39) — Prepare for setbacks and rehearse responses.

2.3 Autonomy (Locus of Control)

• Definition: Feeling and enacting agency over one’s choices rather than attributing outcomes to external factors.
• Low autonomy: Chronic complaining, resentment, feeling powerless.
• Tools:
  Reframe 'Why me?' to 'What next?' (44:23) — Activates problem-solving instead of rumination.
  Shift 'should' to 'could' to 'will' (46:23) — Opens creative possibility, then commits to action.
  Avoid absolute language (always/never) — Increases rational thinking and control (48:06).

2.4 Adaptability (Emotional Stability)

• Definition: Managing, interpreting, and acting despite strong emotions.
• Notable quote:

  “Your feelings are information, not instruction.” (52:18, Jen Cohen)

• Practical strategies:
  Label and re-interpret anxiety — Substitute “I’m excited” for “I’m anxious” to shift physiological response (70:00).
  Expose yourself to discomfort — “Earned good luck” (Christopher Nolan’s story, 50:29) — Success comes from preparation and persistently taking action, not waiting for perfect conditions.

Other Notable Insights & Anecdotes

– The 'Doubt Profile' and Big Trust

• Everyone has a unique "doubt profile"—the relative strengths and weaknesses on the four dimensions.
• Truly high performers aren’t free from self-doubt; they’re action-oriented and develop self-trust, not simply waiting to feel confident before acting (21:29).

– The Scarring Experiment: Perception Shapes Reality

• Robert Kleck’s psychological study: People internalize perceived flaws and experience the world through that distorted lens—even when the flaws are imagined (25:06).

  “We don’t experience the world as it is. We experience it as we expect it to be.” (25:15)

– The Power of Environment

• “You are the average of those you spend the most time with.” Seek partners and friends high in conscientiousness—studies show it significantly impacts career success and stability (79:00).

– Worry & Overthinking: Intelligence as a Double-Edged Sword

• Smarter people often worry and overthink more—leads to analysis-paralysis (87:16).
• Worry list technique: Write down worries throughout the day, allocate prescribed “worry time” to process them, then let them go (85:16).
• “There’s someone less competent than you doing what you want to do, simply because they don’t doubt themselves.” (89:09, Shadé)

Practical, Actionable Tips & Memorable Quotes

• “Back yourself, trust yourself, take the action.” (89:09, Shadé)
• On handling a “You’ve changed” comment:
  “Thanks for noticing. Growth has been a priority for me.” (82:04, Shadé)
• Comparison isn’t the enemy; upward comparison can be reframed for inspiration. (Move to emulation.)
• On overthinking:
  “The greatest distraction in your life is what’s going on up here. Not external things.” (83:16, Shadé)
• Counterfactual thinking in Olympic medalists (silver vs. bronze):
  “Bronze medalists are consistently happier than silver medalists because they’re grateful to be there, while silver medalists focus on missing out.” (58:21)

Segment Timestamps

• 01:30 — Why self-trust, not confidence, is the antidote to self-doubt
• 03:43 — The four dimensions of self-image and success
• 09:18 — Why hobbies matter for acceptance and resilience
• 16:49 — Shadé’s journey: From law firm to Fortune 100 consultant
• 21:29 — Action-orientation: The key trait of high performers
• 25:06 — The “Scar Study”: Expectation bias and self-image
• 35:20 — Emulation over comparison
• 37:39 — Michael Phelps and the power of visualizing adversity
• 44:23 / 46:23 — ‘Why me’ vs. ‘What next’ and the “could/will” method
• 50:29 — ‘Earned good luck’ and exposure to discomfort
• 52:18 — Emotions as information (not instruction)
• 58:21 — Why bronze medalists are happier than silver medalists
• 61:23 — The entrepreneur’s“doubt profile”
• 70:00 — Change your emotional experience by changing your self-talk
• 79:00 — Most important partner quality: conscientiousness
• 85:16 — Managing worry with the “worry list” & worry time technique
• 89:09 — Why action trumps perfection and not overthinking is a superpower

Tone & Delivery

Jen and Shadé maintain an energetic, supportive, and pragmatic tone throughout. Shadé is scientific yet highly accessible, emphasizing action over abstract theory. Jen brings humor, real-world skepticism, and gentle pushback that grounds the discussion in lived experience.

Takeaways for Listeners

• Don’t wait for confidence—build self-trust, act, then confidence follows.
• Identify your own doubt profile: Which of the four drivers most limits you right now?
• Embrace practical change: Reframe thoughts, shift comparison into learning, and consciously act despite doubt and discomfort.
• Curate your environment—who you spend time with and the identity you build outside of achievement are critical.
• Worry and overthinking are normal and, with the right practice, manageable.
• You don’t rise to your potential; you rise to your patterns—challenge them deliberately.

For more detail and to find your own doubt profile, check out Shadé Zahrai's resources at BigTrustBook.com or shadezahrai.com.

End of Summary