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Habits and Hustle
Episode 537: Patti Stanger: Why Modern Dating Is Broken, Red Flags, and the Commitment Crisis
01:25:22
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- [00:01]
A
Hi, guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it.
- [00:07]
B
Today's guest is the unapologetic straight talking queen of matchmaking, Patty Stinger. You probably know her as the star and creator of the hit Bravo show the Millionaire Matchmaker, where she spent over a decade helping some of the world's most successful and often most difficult singles find love. Patti built an empire by telling people the truth they didn't always want to hear about dating, relationships and, and what actually what it takes to attract the right partner. She's matched hundreds of couples, written bestselling books, launched her own dating platform, and became the most recognizable voice in modern matchmaking. Today, we're talking about the psychology of attraction, the biggest mistakes high achievers make in relationships, and why finding love might be a lot more about who you are than who you meet. So let's get into it foreign. Before we dive into today's episode, I want to thank our sponsor, Momentous. When your goal is healthspan living better and longer, there are very few non negotiables. One of them quality. And when it comes to supplements designed for high performers, nobody does it better than Momentous. Momentous goes all in on NSF certification, which means every single batch is tested for heavy metals, harmful additives, and label accuracy. And that's why they're trusted by all 32 NFL teams and top collegiate sports dietitians across the country. Here's the thing. They don't sell every supplement under the sun because they believe in nailing the basics with rock star solid consistency. And those basics are protein and creatine. Momentous sources. Creapure, the purest form of creatine monohydrate available. An absolute must for both men and women who want peak physical and cognitive performance. So if you're serious about leveling up, go to livemomentous.com and use code Jen for 20% off. Just act now. Start today. Jen for 20% off livemomentous.com. You guys, let me just say who I have because I haven't even said it yet. So I had Patty Stanger, who is the OG of matchmaking.
- [02:35]
A
Correct.
- [02:36]
B
My favorite. To me, no one will ever come close to you because. No, because number one, you're so. Your personality. You have like such a captivating personality. You do say what's on your mind. You're such a good TV personality.
- [02:52]
A
Thank you. I appreciate it. Well, thank you for having me here.
- [02:54]
B
Oh, my God, I'm so happy.
- [02:56]
A
If you want to know this, her house is Beautiful. The pool in the back is selling me right now.
- [03:00]
B
Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. So. Yeah. So hold on a minute. So you. Okay. You started telling me a story, and then I stopped you. What were you saying?
- [03:08]
A
Oh, Emily. Sex with Emily is a really good friend of mine and yours. This is how we met.
- [03:13]
B
Right.
- [03:14]
A
And I introduced her to. Well, actually, she became friends with me because my date, coach, dated her. And he wasn't a date coach. I created him, and he became this, like, phenomena. Although he did do something really bad. There was an article written about me and Marie Claire, and that became Hitch. That was what you're saying Hitch was saying. So they called him up and said, can you give us all information about Patty? And he kind of, like, thought they were gonna pay him and get a credit, and he didn't get a contract. He was dumb.
- [03:42]
B
And.
- [03:43]
A
And they sold me out. And I think it was originally a woman, Hitch. And then Will Smith got it and created it, you know, to be.
- [03:48]
B
So was it really based on your life?
- [03:50]
A
Well, yeah, it was the article in Marie Claire. So, yeah. Because now I'm sure they're gonna say that they got stuff from everywhere else, but there was nobody else. Doing what? Like makeovers and Silicon Valley nerds teaching them how to talk and what? No youg. That was me. I'm sorry. There was nobody else that did that 100%.
- [04:06]
B
So people don't know. So she had the show called Millionaire Matchmaker. How many years ago was that show?
- [04:12]
A
I don't even know. It's on Netflix now, though.
- [04:14]
B
It's on Netflix? I know.
- [04:15]
A
Three seasons on Netflix.
- [04:16]
B
Are you getting a whole resurgence in popularity? Yes.
- [04:19]
A
From the kids. Well, it's really cute because you'll go to the mall and a mom and a daughter, you know, will walk down the mall, and the girl's, like, 14. She's like, oh, my God, my mom made me walk your show. And I'm like. And the mom will walk over and she goes, no sex before monogamy. Because they don't want the girls to get, like, pregnant or STDs or, you know, like, they don't want their heart broken on a text. And so they'll start watching my rules, and then I'll get DMs from them little kids. Today. I had the coolest DM today, so there's a lot of young influencers I watch, especially fashion ones in New York. And Victoria Heigl is one of my favorites. She's the personal assistant on the go. We've never met her boss Though I'm done. And she wrote me back and she said to me, patty, I love your show. I love watching you. Would you help me, you know, kind of break into Hollywood and give me advice and I'm gonna mentor her. And I thought that was so cute.
- [05:08]
B
That is so cute. By the way, when are you gonna be back on tv?
- [05:11]
A
Are you gonna be something right now? Hopefully with the network that hopefully. Like I was on TW about two years ago and the network was going into the sports arena. I did really well in the network. We hit the demos, everything was great. And then. And Nick Kyle was my co host on it. I mean, sorry, Nick Viall was my co host on it.
- [05:30]
B
I don't know who that is. I saw you had video.
- [05:32]
A
You know Nick Viall, he's like from the Bachelor. You gotta keep up.
- [05:35]
B
No, I know, I love it.
- [05:36]
A
He's from the Bachelor. The kids will know. And so. But he's going on another show. And anyway, it was really great, but it was the wrong network. I loved cw always have. Wrong network for us because it's more sports now and they're going in a men's direction because they're guys from Dallas who own this, you know, they're like sports guys. And so I need to go back to my roots. And we're trying to work with, you know, maybe NBC Universal a bit.
- [06:00]
B
But the truth of the matter is that the way the format was back then, it worked really well. I would think it would work now too.
- [06:06]
A
I'd be scared to. Well, we can't yell and scream and I can't, you know, like Trisha Paytas, I said something like, lose weight and change your clothes. And she's now this big star and her people start coming for me because I gave advice. But you have to understand the advice I gave. I gave advice that if you came in and go, I want a millionaire. Male, female, gay, straight. I'm telling you what the millionaire's thinking. So if I make you straighten your hair, it's cause millionaires were not attracted at that time to curly hair. I wasn't in style. So I'm giving you the lay down. I'm not saying you need to lose weight for me. I'm saying that's what the Millionaire was thinking.
- [06:41]
B
Well, you know, it's funny, right? Because you were just being honest. Yeah, New York style, New York. But I think it should be everywhere, personally. Straight shooting, be a straight shooter. And the truth is, what you actually said or what is actually true, now it's become like faux Pas. We're not allowed to say anything.
- [06:59]
A
No. We have to be nicey nice. And, you know, but then the kids aren't leaving home. They're living in the basements. They're waiting for their parents to die so you can take over, inherit. And they don't have hustle none, you know, and that's what your show's about. Like, there's no hustle. So if you expect a free ride, okay, that's not attractive, that's not sexy, that doesn't have je ne sais quoi to it. So I can't help you 100%.
- [07:25]
B
How would you say, I guess this is my first question. How would you say the dating landscape has even changed from when you started to how it is now in 2026?
- [07:34]
A
Well, the technology has changed it, but not the biology. Even though we believe in the wellness community, and I'm sure you're gonna believe what I'm gonna say, that men have become feminine energy females, because the plastic and the water, especially the water they guzzle at the gym, disrupts their hormones. And they don't have that rugged. I'm gonna chop wood. The aliens are invading. Let me get you out. They don't have. Or let me take care of you. Let me pay for dinner. Yeah, pay for dinner. Instead of going 50, 50 or even, you pay because you make more money. So they don't have that strong rugged veneer. And we believe that the plastic has disrupt the hormones and created less testosterone in the body. And this is why the fertility rate is down.
- [08:23]
B
Do you really think, though, that's why men have become more feminine?
- [08:27]
A
Well, there's two reasons. One, women became more successful even though we don't get equal pay for equal dollar. There are more women in college, but there's more women biologically than there are men. So there's not enough men for the women to go around, you know, and that's one thing. Second thing is once you started making money, they got lazy. And they're like, you made money, you pick up the bill, you make the reservation. But we as women were nurturers. We did everything. So can you imagine? We did everything for you. We took care of your children, we took care of you. We made the dinner, we cleaned the house, we made the reservations, and then now we're paying. No, no, no.
- [09:04]
B
But I think it's changed where there's more. Women have become more masculine in general in their energy.
- [09:11]
A
Right.
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B
And men have become more feminine. I don't necessarily think it's because of the microplastics oh, no, no, no.
- [09:17]
A
It is. It is biologically. I've studied this. This is a wellness problem. I have studied this. It is not 100% because we got successful and we had to take care of ourselves. We were in survival. We had no choice. If the man didn't step up in our late 20s and 30s to marry us and take care of us and say, I'm buying you a house, we're doing this or that. We had to survive. There was nobody paying our bills. We were not a generation, especially you and I and Emily. We are not a generation of our parents taking care of us. So we didn't have what these kids have, right? Where everybody gets a trophy and everybody gets to survive. We were like, they kicked us out of the house. You get a roommate, you find an apartment in New York, you get a job, don't call me. That's what we were like. We were not the girls generation of that first episode. That was really funny on the first episode, Girls, where the parents are professors and cutting her off. And she's like, what do you mean? They're like, we've been paying you for three years. My mother would never. My mother's like, I'm sorry, you want that? Go buy it yourself. So that's why. But the other thing with the men and just getting back to your point, and then you can. I'll finish. The men, okay, have lost their drive. They're tired. You know, when Wall street crashed, you never saw so many men crying. And then the woman going, screw you. I'll take your job for half the price. I'll make more money than you and I'll be the leader on Wall Street. And that's what happened in the, in the banking crisis. Like, nobody realized that. So women became like resilient Wonder Woman and men resented it. That's why they date a woman lesser value than you. They might. A young girl who's naive and doesn't know how the world works, but she's pretty. And that's why, A, Brad Pitt goes for a 30 year old girl. Because Angelina challenged him, you know, and she didn't take crap. She left him. Most women who are taking crap right now, they have to look at themselves and go, where does that come from? Because why do you need him so badly that you would take the crap? So it's either financial, I need him to pay the bills, or B, I'm codependent. And that's all I know. Because my mom was like that, my grandmother's like that. It's Ancestral.
- [11:23]
B
So would you. Okay. That's a good segue into the age gap situation, right?
- [11:27]
A
Correct.
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B
So there. Don't you think there is a double standard between men dating young and women dating young?
- [11:33]
A
Absolutely. But it doesn't work in the reverse. It really doesn't. I mean, I. I don't want to lie. There's very few. 10 years, 12 years. Okay. You get to 20, 25, and a woman dating a guy, you know, I'm 50. I date a 25 year old.
- [11:49]
B
I agree.
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A
I mean, like, there's no life.
- [11:51]
B
There's nothing in common.
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A
Right. It's just sex.
- [11:54]
B
Yeah.
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A
What are you gonna talk about?
- [11:55]
B
Nothing.
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A
You don't even have the same music taste. But when a man does it, he's mentoring, he's nurturing, he's grooming, and then the woman's like. And a Birkin with that. Okay. You know, well, that's.
- [12:07]
B
I think that's become, like, the trend. Right. Like, if a man is a little bit successful, they will date much, much younger. But I feel like.
- [12:15]
A
But not all men. See, my club in Millionaire's club, my club, we have a lot of women over 50. They're coming in, they're spending the money, and they're like, I need a man equal or better, and I need a man in my age group. You would be surprised how many quality men are showing up. They're not on the apps. These are non men. These are gems that my recruiters and my staff find. And they're like, I've tried the apps. I've deded younger girls, and I hate it. I want someone my old age. I want to grow old with my best friend.
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B
Right.
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A
I can have sex. Best friends I can have sex with.
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B
Because, you know, I would. I would also think that it's been a reversal. Right. It used to be in these. In, like, these dating situations, they would search out women, and women don't pay. Now, I feel like you said there's so many more women who are single than men.
- [13:01]
A
You're seeing this on the apps. It's not. No. In general, but I'm saying, like, it's not the app's fault. It's the way that there's a lot of desperate women, not the group that's got worked on themselves, healed themselves, said, okay, if you treat me badly from the first red flag, I'm not going out with you again. You know, like, that's it. We're done. I saw the red flag. We're done. Other women will take the red flag. Oh, he didn't Mean it. Oh, it's just one time. He apologized. And those are the codependent people that will go for those men at all costs. And chase. And that's not attraction. A woman is supposed to attract. Okay? Not chase.
- [13:42]
B
So. Right. So that's why you don't like the fact that women shouldn't text a man,
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A
mirror what he does. He texts you. You can wait a couple hours, text him back, but mirror what he does. If he ghosts, you ghost and block him. Now, here's a reason why. Because he's basically testing you. How much abuse can I give this woman? And you are not the top of the totem pole. You're not the one on the top of the roster. He's got other things going. Men are dating multiple women. Get it through your head. And they're picking the one that has self respect and love for themselves. Those are the ones they're picking. They're not picking the girl down on her luck. Now, could they pick someone at a lesser value? Like, I don't make as much money. I make 100 grand. You make a million a year. Absolutely. Because that makes him feel good. And power.
- [14:32]
B
Powerful. Yeah.
- [14:32]
A
Right. But you shouldn't demean yourself because you got successful like these. I'm watching all these dating experts on Instagram. You know, the. You know, the whole age of feminine is dead. And we're being blamed. Like Vance did. You know, Vance blamed single women for being successful and not being married. Well, we'd all get married if the men would step up. I want to tell Vance, message understood, but message wrong. It's the men. Men are the leaders. Men are the ones that go out and hunt. We're supposed to sit here, look pretty, smell good, and smile and wait for him to come to us, to receive us, and then we decide what the best offer is for us. That's what it's supposed to be like.
- [15:14]
B
Well, that's why my initial point was I just don't. I've noticed that there are not that many Alpha men as there used to be.
- [15:22]
A
Correct. Especially in California.
- [15:23]
B
Especially in California.
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A
La. Do not come here if you want an Alpha man. And I warn you now, stay away. Okay? Not Orange County. Not even San Diego. You're not gonna find it. And still their hair down to their ankles, living in their houses.
- [15:38]
B
It's really. So where do people find Alpha men?
- [15:40]
A
Alpha men usually are on the east coast, especially the south and the North.
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B
Like where? Give us specifically Midwest men, too.
- [15:47]
A
I would give Midwest too. Midwest and East Coast. Those are them. You gotta go around the perimeter. And Texas might have alpha, but there's subsections of Texas like Houston and Dallas. You want to get more into the country.
- [15:59]
B
Okay, so that's. That's okay. So, ladies, listen up. Okay, now, how about this, because we were saying something earlier as well, because I don't want to lose the track, but you were saying something about. I want to hear about red flags. So what are some. What are the top three red flags that people should look for?
- [16:15]
A
Okay, the first one is an addiction issue.
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B
Okay.
- [16:19]
A
And there's a lot of them going on there. A lot of drinking, a lot of pretending they don't drink or do drugs. And it's both sides of the aisle. But if we're looking at men, men tend to absorb alcohol more than women and can stand at the stand. Like, girl goes past two drinks, she's gonna get loose. Okay? So I would look for addiction issues. How much alcohol is he drinking throughout the night? Is he drinking when he calls you? Like, is he doing drugs? And you want to find those things out.
- [16:46]
B
Yeah.
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A
Second thing is, does he talk a lot about the ex?
- [16:50]
B
Does he.
- [16:51]
A
Does he pump and dump and then, oh, it was a terrible divorce. Yeah. And the third thing, if you're an older woman, I hate to say this, because I've never been married and don't have kids, but I've been engaged and I've raised my ex's kids. When a man doesn't hasn't been married at a certain age at least once and had at least one child, you're in trouble.
- [17:11]
B
Right. What age is that?
- [17:13]
A
I'll give it to 50. Okay. I'll give it to 50.
- [17:16]
B
That's fine.
- [17:17]
A
I mean, I will say, I will be nice because we're living in a delayed adolescent society, you know, But I will give it. If a man's 50 and he hasn't had kids and he hasn't, like, been married at least once, unless there's some tragic story like she died or whatever, I don't want to hear it.
- [17:32]
B
50's old.
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A
I know. I mean, I normally gave 45, but now I'm giving 50.
- [17:38]
B
Wow. I thought you were going to say 40.
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A
Generous here.
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B
I thought you were going to Say 40.
- [17:42]
A
Yeah, I'm going to say generous.
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B
Okay.
- [17:43]
A
What 40 is because a true millionaire doesn't make money until he's 40. So that's when he's on the hunt for the wife. He's making money in his 30s. I mean, we can make money earlier now because of, you know, AI and all the tech Stuff. But.
- [17:55]
B
But why can't we get married before that?
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A
Statistically, has always been by 40. Yeah.
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B
But a lot of times people are, like, making, like, you know, kind of like creating, like, basically creating their career, profession while having been married.
- [18:07]
A
Yes.
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B
And then they usually would leave the wife and go to another one. That's a whole other story.
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A
She leaves for the secretary younger that the wife always knew.
- [18:16]
B
Right.
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A
Like, she could never catch him in the accident.
- [18:18]
B
Right. But the thing is, like, I've never heard as 50 is. It's good. It's okay. Or acceptable because they're getting met because
- [18:25]
A
we now know the average median age of marriage is 29. So fertility is down, sperm count is down. And so what's happening is. And by the way, we found out that the eggs can go on forever and the sperm count is decreased. It was opposite what the doctors told us about the geriatric pregnancy.
- [18:42]
B
Wow.
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A
Yeah. That's all been new science. I study alchemy of attraction and science of what's going on in the dating and fertility markets. And so this has been a sad story. They've told us that we had to get our, you know, get married, have a baby by 35. We were screwed if we didn't. But in the meantime, the marriage count is down. So as far as age goes. So that means that if that's down, they're waiting later to get married and that they could get married by 40. Look at Hollywood.
- [19:09]
B
Well, that's.
- [19:11]
A
And a lot of us have. A lot of us we see in Hollywood not married and have a child at a wed. Like, I know somebody going through something right now where she's just implanted embryos and they're engaged, but he won't marry her unless the eggs. Okay. Are perfect. And he wants a biological child.
- [19:30]
B
Really?
- [19:31]
A
Yes. I mean, that's narcissistic in my eyes, but whatever, because I'm an adopted child, so. I believe you can adopt. There's many different ways you can have children. Surrogacy. There's plenty of different. We have a lot of good ways to have kids now.
- [19:42]
B
Did you ever want children?
- [19:44]
A
Always.
- [19:45]
B
Always?
- [19:45]
A
Always. Well, probably from 30 something on. Yeah.
- [19:49]
B
So what was your path like? What happened with your life?
- [19:52]
A
I picked bad men.
- [19:54]
B
You did?
- [19:54]
A
Mm. I picked what my mom picked because I was programmed by my mother. No fault to her. My grandmother and my grandfather had an amazing marriage, so I saw both sides of the street, but I picked bad men. I was very sexually driven.
- [20:08]
B
Really.
- [20:08]
A
I didn't care about money. I just wanted a hot guy.
- [20:10]
B
Until when?
- [20:11]
A
Until I realized I was paying the bills and I was exhausted.
- [20:14]
B
Is really.
- [20:15]
A
Yes.
- [20:15]
B
So. Because how.
- [20:16]
A
And I'm never doing that again. I am never doing that again.
- [20:20]
B
So what. How did you. I'm curious. Like, what was your evolution? Like, how did you become a matchmaker?
- [20:25]
A
They all had inheritance, though I have to caveat that they all had inheritance, but you know, we can't. If you get married, you don't get the inheritance.
- [20:31]
B
Yes.
- [20:31]
A
You know that. Right? So. But they all had inheritance coming. It was like money down the line. But they didn't have money right now.
- [20:37]
B
And also, they didn't make it themselves. So that, to me, is also not attractive.
- [20:40]
A
One of them. Yeah, they didn't make up themselves. One of them was, like, on the cusp, but never got there.
- [20:44]
B
Okay, so wait a minute. So but how did you become a matchmaker? What were you doing?
- [20:48]
A
Oh, my grandmother and my mother were matchmakers. And when I was 16, I loved this boy in school. He was, like, the hottest guy, but a badass. And I don't want to say his name, but he was Catholic. And so they would go to these Christchurch dances on Friday night. Me, the Jewish girl, got all my Jewish friends and go, come on. Because those were the hot guys. And we went to school that day and planned our escape from our parents. Cause God forbid they'd find out. Nice Jewish girl going to a. And I got busted by the priest, who was actually hot. And he said to me, come in the back. And he's smoking a cigarette and he's drinking his wine. He says, you're not supposed to be here. None of us had Jewish star necklaces or anything like that, but you knew. And he goes, what are you here for? And I said, well, I like this one boy. And he's like, you could do better. And I had done something really smart. I'd taken the boys on one side and the girls on the other side. And I brought them together, and they started dancing and talking. He had never seen this at a dance. Cause he could never get them together. Cause they wouldn't listen to him. And he goes, I can't believe you did that. And my best friend ended up marrying the guy at the dance. They lost touch with each other. And then years later, they connected and they got married. It was kind of a cute story. And so I told him I had a crush on this boy. And he said, oh, you could do so much better. He's so bad. Like, he's derelict. He basically was. But a hot derelict, really. Like a Brad Pitt. Legends of the Fall. Derelict, you know.
- [22:07]
B
Wow. Okay.
- [22:08]
A
And he was always on my bus and looked, like, stoned out of his. And so he said, I'll tell you what. I'll let you come here every Friday if you could get the boys and girls to dance every week. And I did.
- [22:18]
B
And that's how you started?
- [22:19]
A
That's how I started. But my mother always said I was gonna be a matchmaker. And I was like, never, never. Cause my mom. My mom was married one time, I was born already, and he basically cheated on my mother, very Mrs. Maisel. And my mom left him, and she went back to go live with my grandparents. And my grandmother was like, beside what we say, nobody gets divorced. It was like a time when. And so my grandmother TR. Meet her next husband, who ends up raising me and my dad. And the phones went off, like, you know, like, everybody was calling my grandmother, fix me up. Fix me up. Teach me what to do. Because everybody was getting divorced. It was like the 70s, and everybody was getting divorced. And so then the rabbi called my grandmother and said, come on, I need your help. Like, what are we doing? Because all the husbands were leaving their wives for younger secretaries.
- [23:06]
B
Wow. And so that's how you became a. So then how did the show happen?
- [23:09]
A
The show happened because I worked for Great Expectations, and I ran this business, big company. It was nature.
- [23:16]
B
Tell people what it is.
- [23:17]
A
It was a first original dating service. Like, a dating service. It was like Metrocon before Metrocom went online. And I worked.
- [23:24]
B
How did it work? Actually, I don't remember.
- [23:26]
A
You go into the office and you'd pay, like, $5,000, and then you'd swipe through pictures and videos, and it was based on mutual consent, kind of like Match. And so. And I would tell them, you know, what to do and what not to do, and they never listen to me. And when Match went up, I was like, we should be online. We should be the soho ass of dating before soho ass went up. And they didn't listen to me. So anyway, I worked there. And then I was engaged, and my engagement broke off, and I couldn't look at anything in Florida. I was living in Florida. I was like, oh, my God. That's where we had dinner. That's where we went swimming. That's the gym we went to. Like, I was devastated. So my mom's like, you went to film school? Here's your chance to get to Hollywood and break into the business. So I go, okay. I need an adventure, an off life. Flew to California with a dollar in my pocket. And knew one person and lived in the marina, and my cousin lived here, and she was producing movies. She's like, good luck getting in the business now. Look at me. And so I was always like, yeah, watch me. I was that girl, if you watch me. But I had a friend who said to. I made a new friend, and she was doing this millionaire thing with dating. And she's like, oh, I could do it better. And she's like, well, don't. You're never going to be able to do it because it's never going to work. So I would go to matchmakers that I knew in town because I knew a couple of them, and they would fix me up. And for every gentile boy, I liked Gentiles, and I was Jewish, and I gave two Jewish boys to them. They'd give me a gentile date. And they sucked at it. Sucked at it. And all the daters would complain to me how bad it was. I went on one date with one guy. He really liked me, and he said, oh, God, you're exactly what I want. He was a Mormon, and he was cute, but he wasn't my type emotionally. So he said, what if I give you money, you could fix me up? Ding, ding, ding. Had credit card debt, needed money to live on. I said, okay. And my mom's like, church, 10 grand. She gave me the price. I'll never forget that. And I said, what? And so I took him, like, shopping over Beverly Hills, redid his wardrobe, decorated his house in Hermosa, and he had a truck that he wouldn't give up, and it smelled like fish. And I kept saying, you need. I don't care if you get an suv, but you need a nice one. Like a Porsche. Took him to the Porsche dealership. He got it fixed up with his first girlfriend. Turned out to be his wife. Got married. Tell 10 friends and my business. But the first person I fixed up with was somebody of Muslim descent, unfortunately. And he met his wife on that first date and canceled the check. And from that moment, I changed the industry. Nobody takes a check. We all take wire transfers now because I changed the entire industry because credit cards, you get chargebacks. And if you give a check, somebody could cancel it. So wire transfer, then you fix them up.
- [26:04]
B
Really?
- [26:05]
A
I learned the hard way.
- [26:06]
B
So how much do you charge?
- [26:07]
A
I charge 150 and up.
- [26:09]
B
150.
- [26:10]
A
150k and up? Yeah.
- [26:11]
B
And what do you get for 150k?
- [26:13]
A
You get unlimited dating based on a period of time that we think is appropriate for you, plus a full Service staff. And you get my number. My business partner, Bonnie Winston, who's in New York, we have an office down on Wall street, so you're getting a nationwide plus, Canada and we also do international as well.
- [26:30]
B
And how do you find the people?
- [26:31]
A
We have our resources. I can't give you my, my, my recipe, my trade secrets, but I will tell you, we have boots on the ground. We have a huge, we have the largest database in the business and everybody knows me. I mean, if I make a text message or a dm.
- [26:46]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [26:47]
A
Someone's respond.
- [26:55]
B
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- [28:18]
A
Men are not on Instagram. We use that for women. Men are in sports networks.
- [28:22]
B
Like what? Give me an example.
- [28:24]
A
Golf. We're connected to a lot of country clubs, a lot of hotels with concierge high rollers in Vegas. We deal with the 1 percenters.
- [28:32]
B
Yeah.
- [28:32]
A
So we're dealing with ski resorts. We're dealing with like Saint Barts. Although that was crazy this weekend, a lot of people couldn't get out. We deal with high end concierge services such as airports, you know, like. Yeah, private air airlines.
- [28:46]
B
So what do you say you deal with. What do you mean?
- [28:47]
A
We deal with the people that work with those people and we deal with people who know people who know people who know people who know people. Private clubs. There's 17 million private clubs going up every minute right now all over the country. And we deal with, we know where the men are. Like we know boots on the ground where the men are.
- [29:02]
B
So Are you finding dates for yourself?
- [29:04]
A
I don't date my clientele. I have a rule, so I have a hard time with that. So you have to fix me up.
- [29:09]
B
Yeah, I will.
- [29:10]
A
And LA is not that easy. I mean, we usually take the LA girl and make her go to Arizona.
- [29:17]
B
Really?
- [29:17]
A
Arizona is a hub for that. A lot of golfers, a lot of retirees, a lot of wealthy men. Yeah. Or. Or we'll go to Montecito, you know, Santa Barbara.
- [29:25]
B
When you say go to, like, are they.
- [29:27]
A
In other words, like, I don't recommend. Like, I don't recommend a woman over 50 dating in LA proper. We might get every so often, but I will redirect her somewhere else.
- [29:39]
B
When you say that, do you want them to move somewhere else?
- [29:41]
A
No, the men will come to them.
- [29:43]
B
Yeah, but when you say, like, they should go to, what do you mean in other words?
- [29:46]
A
Like, I don't mind dating a guy from Scottsdale because I love Sedona and Scottsdale.
- [29:50]
B
But how do they meet?
- [29:51]
A
They meet through us, through a date. We concierge and arrange the date.
- [29:55]
B
Got it.
- [29:55]
A
Okay. So we do everything. You don't have to. It's basically put your lipstick on and go. That's all it is. And we do everything. Now, on the men's side of it, I mean, I just had six different men just joined this today, actually. Like, big ones. Like some of one celebrity you would know. And so I'm doing everything for him. He charged, I charged him 350. So I'm doing, like everything. Like, his assistant is licking my ass because she cannot believe that I'm doing everything where she's been doing what I've been doing for years, like, you know, going to a Vegas party and trying to find five girls from him. And I'm like, stop that nonsense. I have to look under the hood of the car. I'm also psychic. I was born psychic. I read vibration. That's what you saw on the show. I'm like, looking at people's energy. I have guides, I talk to them. So I'm looking at a lot of other stuff that we're not just doing surface stuff because it has to be a match on both sides. So I've got to look at what's his lifestyle, like, how does he treat women? Do I have to change some of his behavior at the same time? Can that woman go at his pace? Like, if he's the millionaire and she's going to drop everything for him, is there a balance or is he going to use her? Like there's a lot of stuff I look at, because I don't. I want the women protected, too. And when it comes to the millionaire woman, I'm trying to get equal or better for her, so it's a little different.
- [31:10]
B
So for 350.
- [31:11]
A
And I do gay, by the way.
- [31:12]
B
You do?
- [31:12]
A
Yeah, I just don't do trans because I don't really know how to do that.
- [31:15]
B
So you do for. So if. So someone's paying you $350,000. What do they get for 350 they don't get for 150, they would.
- [31:22]
A
Okay, so 150. You would get one person below me, a matchmaker that I've trained. They've been certified by the Matchmakers Institute as well as me. We have a millionaire training certification program. We don't just go, hey, I'm a matchmaker. There's plenty of those out there. I actually am training them from the ground up, like, as though my grandmother's secret recipe. And then if it's me, you're paying more money to get me because you want me on call. You want to talk to me, you want to vent. I had a guy last week who fell in love with my first girl I fixed him up with, and I said, don't call it in. Don't make her exclusive just yet. Let's see, what else? Because I wanted him to go on two, three more dates. Well, he went on a plane, and he met someone, and he goes, I don't know how to do this. He's, like, awkward, a little bit on the spectrum, but handsome. So I said, I'm gonna tell you what to say. And I became Cyrano, and I went in his texts, and I basically did all this talk.
- [32:13]
B
Yeah.
- [32:14]
A
And he got a date with the girl, and he went on two dates, and I arranged the third date for him. So I'm concierging inside the service as well, outside the service, because my goal is to get you into the best love relationship of your life. Like, if God said to me, what is your one wish? I'd say, everyone has their soulmate in humanity. He'd go, but you're out of business. I'd be like, that's okay. That's. That's why I'm here on the planet. And I'm okay with that. I work for God.
- [32:37]
B
And do you like doing it still?
- [32:38]
A
Yes and no. It's difficult. You were talking to me about your boobs for babes or babes.
- [32:43]
B
Oh, baser boobs.
- [32:44]
A
And it is an exhausting job. It is not easy. It is not for the faint hearted. You deal with personalities you can't even imagine. Screaming, yelling, violent, blah, blah, blah. I am like a therapist, a psychic, and a matchmaker rolled into one. Like, it's. It's a lot of work, but I'm used to it. And it's like breathing. Like if I was at the grocery store and I saw, oh, my friend's in the grocery store and that guy's in the grocery store, I put them together. It's just auto, you know, I'm an auto fighter.
- [33:12]
B
Yeah. I'm the same way, though. I feel like my track record's been pretty good actually, with it.
- [33:17]
A
That's amazing.
- [33:17]
B
Yeah.
- [33:18]
A
And I do it because I want more matchmakers. I wrote a book called Become youe Own Matchmaker in Amazon. It was a bestseller because I wanted other people to do it for themselves as well as their friends and family.
- [33:27]
B
Well, I think the number one thing is not to be like, you have to be bold and you have to be proactive.
- [33:31]
A
But if you've got to be proactive. But, you know, we're like animals, you know, in the wild when we want to mate, there's a smell and a signal they send out. Right. We're the same way. You know, we have pheromones. The problem is, is the men walking across the bar to ask you out because of COVID because of the Weinstein effect, Because of me, too. Like, they're afraid.
- [33:54]
B
They're chickens right now.
- [33:55]
A
They're very afraid. Like, you're gonna cancel them. You're gonna say something online. You know, there's a group now called are we dating the same guy? And putting people's pictures up and destroying their image. But sometimes it's worthy. Sometimes it's some jerk who's, you know, going out and hurting women left and right. And they deserve it, but not everybody does. And it's male and female, by the way. So it's a scary time to date.
- [34:18]
B
It is. I think it is a scary time. Like, I wouldn't want to be a guy right now. No, I mean, it's better now than it was maybe a year ago, but it's not great.
- [34:26]
A
But also, it's also unrealistic. We've got men looking at Instagram with these perfect looking, filtered girls.
- [34:32]
B
Yeah.
- [34:32]
A
And we're going, what? I can do that. And I'm a zero. Like, it's the only town where a zero can get a 10 and think he can still do better.
- [34:39]
B
Well, the problem is there's so many ways now for people to, like, Access dating, yes. Where I feel that people are not taking that dating seriously. It's all like, situationships at any age. Like, people just.
- [34:51]
A
They can scroll to the next person if you're like. My old assistant ended up with her situationship, but it was two years of heartbreak and he had left the country, come back, moved in with her. I mean, I don't. I don't recommend this because of what the roller coaster she went. And there's damage to the brain and the body and the mind, you know, for what happens when you go and allow someone to abuse you. So your bar should be your bar. Like, in other words, stop allowing these people, male, female, gay, straight, to abuse you. Okay, yeah. If the guy doesn't love you, get over the fact he doesn't love you. Work on yourself rather than trying to get the guy to love you. Because it's not. Even if he does come back, he's going to do it again. He always is going to test you. It's his nature. It's the scorpion and the tortoise. You know that story, right?
- [35:42]
B
Yeah.
- [35:42]
A
You want to tell that story, you can tell.
- [35:44]
B
You're the guest.
- [35:45]
A
So the scorpion, the tortoise. The scorpion, you know, says to the tortoise, can I have a ride across the river? And he's like, I don't know. You're a scorpion. He's like, no, no, I promise I won't sting you. And of course he takes him across the river and what does he do? He stings him. It's his nature to test you and abuse you. And if you allow it, he will keep on doing it.
- [36:06]
B
Do you think there's any type of variation in men, like some men who are more noble than that, or do you think across the board?
- [36:13]
A
A lot of times what I found in my relationships, the minute I was done, in my brain and in my body, not so much. Like, I took the action to block and whatever, but the minute I felt that, oh, my God, I'm over him. Like, you run into him and you're like, ugh, I went out with him. What the hell was I thinking? Now you know, you're over it. They fall in love with you. They call you. They won't. My ex, why is that? My ex is like, please, you're the only one. I want to marry you. And you've all seen him on TV. And I'm like, yeah, not happening. Why?
- [36:42]
B
That's 100% accurate. I see that all the time. But why is that, like, energetically, the
- [36:46]
A
whole time he was with Me. He didn't treat me. Great. Now he wants me. He wants to marry him.
- [36:51]
B
Because psychologically, how did they even know
- [36:53]
A
men are programmed to hunt?
- [36:56]
B
How do they know if you're not having any contacts?
- [36:58]
A
Okay, think of this. The hunter's hungry.
- [37:00]
B
Yeah.
- [37:01]
A
Right. He's trying to kill Bambi in the woods. Right. But Bambi's like, I'm not gonna let you have me. I'm not gonna let you have me. And he gets hungrier and hungrier and hungrier till he can't handle it anymore. Cause he's got no food. You are his source of. Of energy. You are the muse. You are the one that gives Women, give the life force. We birth. It's all natural. So if you think about it, they need the light. They need the light from you. Don't give it in the light unless he deserves the light.
- [37:28]
B
What about. Okay, so there's a million things I want to go through here. But first of all, I want to finish with the geographics here.
- [37:35]
A
Okay?
- [37:35]
B
I think people find this interesting. So you're saying la. Terrible. Awful, awful. So that's the number one city because
- [37:42]
A
it's the most singles in the United States. But, you know, they're metrosexual. Don't come here.
- [37:47]
B
Yeah, number one. And I agree with you. Okay. That's for sure. So then you're saying Arizona. What?
- [37:52]
A
Arizona has a lot of retirees. So we're talking an older community that they can buy older.
- [37:58]
B
Like how? What's the age bracket?
- [37:59]
A
48 and up. So they have a community of country clubs, are building up these hotels. The Global Ambassador is a hotspot. You want to go spend a weekend there? That's a fun place, great food and everything.
- [38:11]
B
Okay. Would you say that's number one, Arizona?
- [38:13]
A
I would say Boca's number one.
- [38:16]
B
Boca's number one.
- [38:16]
A
Boca has more men than women. And they all came from New York. And now with the Mondami effect.
- [38:21]
B
Yeah.
- [38:21]
A
And the Coppa law, which I don't know if you know, they're trying to seize your property. You can Google that. You can Google that because we'd get in a whole episode on that one.
- [38:29]
B
So you think Boca.
- [38:30]
A
Yeah. So they're all going to come down. They're all coming down to Florida. Okay. And that. And there are more men in Boca than there are women.
- [38:39]
B
So why is that, though?
- [38:40]
A
They all want to live in the country club house. You get a house behind the gates, you get to play golf and be in a community. It's very easy to make friends that way.
- [38:48]
B
Very easy.
- [38:49]
A
So if you were moving, let's say to Fort Lauderdale and a house on the street, you're not going to make friends. But with these communities behind the gates, they're retiring, they're bringing down their businesses. Everybody works from a computer. Nobody works in an office anymore unless they have to. But I would say Boca's number one.
- [39:07]
B
How about Miami?
- [39:09]
A
Miami is good, but it's very saturated. And also it's young. It's young.
- [39:14]
B
What's the.
- [39:15]
A
So Miami, like, South beach is gay and Brickell's young. You got to chop it all up, you know, North Miami's got a lot of international communities, very South American. If you like the South American community, North Miami is really good for that.
- [39:27]
B
Really. Okay. I just got back from Miami. I saw.
- [39:30]
A
I love South Beach. I love the one hotel my friend is an apartment next door. And I always go the one. I love it. Love walking Lincoln Road. They're going to rebuild it. I grew up part time in Miami. I went to University of Miami. I'm a cane.
- [39:43]
B
Yeah.
- [39:43]
A
And so my grandmother lived there. And Hollywood on the beach. And I lived in Hollywood on the beach. So it's a great area. I love it. However, it's very saturated now. It's like a lot of traffic. So I would say maybe go north, because the men don't really like. They don't like driving. They don't. They're not drivers.
- [39:59]
B
I didn't see a lot of, like, old. I didn't see very many single men or have a.
- [40:04]
A
That's why you go north.
- [40:05]
B
Right.
- [40:05]
A
So Delray and Boca Del Rey and Boca. You go to Delray and you can go. West Palm beach is really. West Palm beach is blowing up right now for.
- [40:14]
B
How about for single women? Are they just everywhere?
- [40:15]
A
And by the way, Jupiter, if you are Jupiter, if you're a conservative Republican and you want a strong, rich Republican man, you go to Jupiter. Yeah, because that's where Mar a Lago is.
- [40:28]
B
Exactly.
- [40:29]
A
Yeah. Okay.
- [40:30]
B
Okay. So Miami. Okay. We got the Florida stuff. So Arizona. Boca, number one.
- [40:34]
A
Also, skiing is a great way to meet people. Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I wouldn't say Aspen. It's kind of metrosexual. Val is family, so I would put Jackson hall on there. What's the one in Sun Valley? Is that Sun Valley? Sun Valley, that's Idaho, right?
- [40:50]
B
Idaho, yeah.
- [40:50]
A
I'd go to Sun Valley and maybe Park City. Yeah, I'd pick those places.
- [40:54]
B
How about New York?
- [40:54]
A
Because you're picking places that don't have a lot of competition. We're Trying to get the competition away. Those 25 year olds that are going to take up your space and you're going to feel miserable because the men aren't looking at you.
- [41:04]
B
Okay, so what about New York?
- [41:07]
A
New York is really good. I'm just really worried right now. So I have a feeling there's going to be a spree of all the Richie Richies leaving. Because I don't, I don't trust Mondame. No.
- [41:18]
B
Yeah, nobody does.
- [41:19]
A
And I also think it's gonna be really difficult to do business there. And I think the billionaires are gonna pull out. I think the grocery chains and the billionaires are gonna pull out. And once they pull out, the city is gonna fall. They're in trouble right now if Trump doesn't save them.
- [41:33]
B
Yeah, that moved on.
- [41:34]
A
I mean, I mean he revoked 150 of Eric Adams laws and one of them was protecting Jews. I'm Jewish. Are you Jewish?
- [41:41]
B
Am I Jewish?
- [41:42]
A
Yeah. Okay, I'm asking.
- [41:44]
B
Oh my God. Hilarious. No one's ever asked.
- [41:46]
A
Hello, we're from the tribe.
- [41:47]
B
Yes, I thought that's pretty obvious.
- [41:49]
A
Cohen, right? He lied. And of course you know I know and he's not protecting us. And Then also he. 3500 police officers retired and left the force because of him. So we're in a. It's a bad place right now, right? I mean you might want to go. Like I would say in wintertime you always go to ski mountainy places that like yellow. If you can get into the Yellowstone Club, hats off, go. You know, even here's another thing, forget that you don't see someone at the bar. Mingle with the guy who's married. He always has one token friend who's single. So you want to get the referral. See, people don't work and network enough. Like they, they just, oh, there's no one here, let's leave. And I'm going, wait a second, who's at the bar? He's got a Rolex on, he's buying shots. Like let's talk to him, right?
- [42:39]
B
You know, like maybe a conduit to someone.
- [42:41]
A
And by the way, steakhouses where I tell you where there's meat, there's men. So if you go to a steakhouse and you go at 5 o' clock and you're nice to the bartender and you say, hey, do you know any regulars who are single in my age group? He's gonna introduce you or she's gonna introduce you. Be friendly. If you know the hostess, they all know what's going down Seriously, you know,
- [43:01]
B
what's your number one piece of dating advice, though? To go to places like the steakhouse. Yeah.
- [43:06]
A
I have a rule. I have a rule. Go out once a week by yourself. Those who travel in packs do not attract. It's a very hard rule, and a lot of people can't do it. They cannot eat by themselves. They cannot go to a bar. They think they're gonna be called a hooker if they sit at the peninsula at 5 o'. Clock. You know, that was the old days. You went to the Peninsula in Beverly Hills at 5 o', clock, you were a hooker. We're like, where did this come from? Because the Russian. The Russian hookers used to sit there and wait for the guy to come in and buy them a Chanel purse.
- [43:35]
B
Don't they still?
- [43:36]
A
I don't know. I haven't been to never, so I don't know.
- [43:39]
B
I don't even know that anymore.
- [43:41]
A
I don't even go out anymore. I love to stay home and watch tv. I want a guy who likes to do nothing with me.
- [43:46]
B
Yeah.
- [43:46]
A
Does that make sense?
- [43:47]
B
That's the most perfect guy.
- [43:48]
A
I just want to get under the. Eat great food and get under the covers and watch television 100% and then take a walk on the beach when the weather's good.
- [43:54]
B
It sounds like. Sounds like a perfect day to me. Which is exactly the problem. That's why people aren't like, these great girls are not meeting people because they don't want to be doing the whole rigamarole.
- [44:05]
A
My favorite is when the guy is super athletic on the apps and he's like, I do this. I hang. Like, I did. I'm like, oh, my God, you're exhausting. Goodbye. And they are like, I want an outdoors girl. Okay. That's right. Okay.
- [44:15]
B
I mean, they want an outdoors girl, but I think also they want someone who they can chill with.
- [44:19]
A
An outdoors girl is not going to be feminine, pretty, and shaving her legs. Everybody, week, every day.
- [44:23]
B
Yeah, I was going to say. Okay, let's say this. So my next question was, what do you think the number one thing that guys are looking for?
- [44:29]
A
Like, something that's unattainable. Like, you know, men have visions of, like, what they want, but then what they take is completely different. So what they want is the wish list, the hundred things to the floor. But when they get in front of a woman, she may not be in perfect weight, she may not have the perfect smile. She might be a little bit older. You know, they smell the pheromone, they run after it. So you'd be surprised what they take versus what they want.
- [45:02]
B
If you're not taking glutathione, you're missing out on one of the most critical foundations for your health. Your body is dealing with toxins every single day. Pollution, chemicals, plastics, processed food, alcohol, stress, bad sleep. It's not a question if you're exposed, it's how much. That's where glutathione comes in. It's often called the master antioxidant and for good reason. Glutathione protects your cells from oxidative stress and supports your body's natural detox process. When you're stressed, traveling, eating badly, or just giving into the modern world, your glutathione levels drop. So I take ROW nutrition liposomal glutathione because it's not just glutathione in a basic capsule, it's liposomal, which means your body can actually absorb and use it. This is foundational if you care about long term health recovery and staying resilient when everything around you is working against your biology. If you're feeling run down, inflamed, foggy, or like your system needs real support, start here. Go to rownutrition.com and try Rose Liposomal Glutathione. Use code Gen20 for 20% off site wide. That's RO Nutrition R H O N U T R-I T-I-O-N.com and use code Gen20. So you know what I find interesting?
- [46:39]
A
Strong.
- [46:40]
B
Like people who are strong, like strong women, Alpha women. I find that that's a very hard category.
- [46:46]
A
Well, I mean, I am like double. So I'm a Gemini and I'm true personality. So right now I'm on my work mode. I'm like, let's do this. And then, then I meet a guy and all of a sudden that I'm attracted to, not just any.
- [47:00]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [47:01]
A
And then I'm like, hi. Right? Oh my God, you did that? That's amazing. Like, that's how I am. And then I noticed that recently I went on a date Christmas Eve and I did that and I went, no wonder. He called me again. He asked me out, he kissed me at the end and I was like not giving any signals. I just automatically went into feminine mode. Because when I was working with Pat Allen, who was my mentor and who was on the show, who wrote Getting to I do, she would say to me, switch when you go in the house. And I had to, I had, and I had a boyfriend at the time and I lived with him. And I had to train myself to go from. Because I was producing my show and in front of the camera to go, hey, babe, what do you want for dinner?
- [47:42]
B
Right? And, like, take. But you have to.
- [47:44]
A
I think that you have to train yourself.
- [47:46]
B
But I also believe you have to be with a man who can bring you into your feminine.
- [47:50]
A
Well, there's a reason why the masculine women who make money don't meet someone who makes more money than them, which will make them relax. Because if a guy said to you, honey, you don't have to work anymore. I'll take care of you. You can have anything you want. You'd be like, what? Who are you? Where'd you fall from? What alien? What?
- [48:09]
B
What?
- [48:09]
A
You know, I'm waiting for the aliens to come any minute. Like, what planet can we go dating on?
- [48:13]
B
Right, right, right.
- [48:14]
A
Because we've done Earth, and Earth sucks.
- [48:16]
B
Right?
- [48:17]
A
So, yeah. So that's kind of like where we're at. And we don't get men like that because men are like, I'm exhausted. I. You know, they're whining and their moms are mom ing them to death. You know, it's really awful.
- [48:27]
B
See, what I think is social media and the dating apps have really kind of ruined the landscape.
- [48:35]
A
Well, because they don't have to hunt.
- [48:36]
B
There's no hunting.
- [48:38]
A
And I think hunting does not count on the app. By the way, I don't want to say hunting is physically in person, where you walk up to the girl at the grocery store and say, hey, which cereal should I get? That's what it's supposed to be like.
- [48:50]
B
But it's not for most. For the majority.
- [48:53]
A
Do you live on the west side? Yeah, so we used to go to Whole Foods on Venice. Like, Tuesday. Wednesday night was. I know one of the nights was singles and the other one was gay. And you'd go and sit outside and look really cute from the gym. You'd braid your hair and you have your little beanie on top in the winter, and you'd sit outside. Do you remember that?
- [49:09]
B
I miss those years.
- [49:10]
A
Oh, my God. I was like, I cannot believe I did not take advantage of that time.
- [49:14]
B
People don't like. That's what I'm saying now with the social media thing, it's. People are also getting really. Their brains are thinking what's real and what's not real are completely different. Like, they're seeing all these. Like you said, everyone's photoshopped, face tuned, all these things, and they think, that's the whip. That's the Thing. They look at.
- [49:31]
A
They look at the girl in person, and they're like, I get these complaints from the men when they join the service. Like, how they went online, Their secretary found these girls, and they would say, like, how do you know she really looks like that? And we're like, would you like to FaceTime with her?
- [49:42]
B
Yeah.
- [49:42]
A
So.
- [49:43]
B
And they don't normally look like that.
- [49:44]
A
FaceTime. And they go, can she filter it? And I said, no, she's FaceTiming. There's no filter on FaceTime. You know, Zoom. She can do the beauty thing, but not FaceTime. So then they thank me, and they go, God, she's so much prettier than her pictures because he's seeing a human being. And remember, when you show a picture or even a video, you're not connecting with that person. So it's very attractive when you connect with a man. And you may not have makeup on. I can't tell you how many times my ex used to say, I love you when you don't have your makeup on. I'm like, what the hell is that about?
- [50:17]
B
It's a known thing, though. Men hate makeup.
- [50:19]
A
They hate makeup. They just want to see, like, maybe a little lip gloss and go, yeah. And so a little tan. Like, you know, you've. You've had Sunkiss from the sky. Forget a spray tan.
- [50:29]
B
Yeah.
- [50:29]
A
And they think, like, you know, you should just be the girl that throws on a pair of shorts and gets in the car. And I sit there and I go, oh, my God, they're going back to high school when this was a high school.
- [50:39]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [50:40]
A
So they're trying to get that cheerleader in high school that looks all organic.
- [50:43]
B
Yeah.
- [50:44]
A
And that's where their brain. The natural girl next door. That's where their brain is going. But I will tell you this, that men are acting like it's a given, like, their entitlement without having to hunt. Like, I deserve the best, and I shouldn't have to hunt.
- [50:57]
B
Well, I was gonna say, also, there's a lot of, like, rhetoric about, like, I need. I want my piece. Peace talk. Like, you know, I just want to have peace. That's become, like, the new tagline.
- [51:07]
A
So here's the new thing. So women are making money. They have their vibrator, right? Yep. Yep. They got their girl posse, and their life is full, and they're like, if you can't meet me at my level of peace or better. Peace or better. I'm not getting out of bed now. That never happened. So women are on strike. We've been on strike right now. And this is 18 and up. This is not like 45 year old women who are like, screw you. These are the kids talking. Just like 867% of alcohol sales are down. Did you know that kids are not drinking and not drinking? That's what I say.
- [51:42]
B
Social clubs are becoming very popular fitness and wellness clubs.
- [51:46]
A
I'm making money on influencing or AI or whatever because they're all techies and I get to go to home and go to sleep when I want, eat the foods I want and walk my dog and life is. And they're showing it on it. I can't tell you how many hot influencers don't have boyfriends. I'm watching them.
- [52:01]
B
I would say the majority of them.
- [52:02]
A
Yeah, I mean, I'm watching them all and they're like, nah, I don't want to go out with him. He said this or he did that. And I could tell right away. And they're getting smarter. And I have to give social media one credit. I learned about narcissism from Dr. Imani and all these experts and realized my ex was a narcissist. My last boyfriend, and it was my father. He was my dad. My dad was an alcoholic narcissist. So was my ex. And I learned so fast that I would never learn from years of therapy. So I give it to social media and now I would never pick a guy like this again. And I can see the red flags before the wall comes in where I could never have done that in therapy.
- [52:40]
B
But you don't think that the word narcissism has been overplayed and overused. I feel like everyone's a narcissist these days.
- [52:47]
A
I feel like there's more narcissists than you think I do. Oh, yes, it's a narcissistic tragedy. Happened when they were a child where they created this world, that they're the star of their own movie and nobody else matters and they lost their empathy. Gin. So in the uk they're starting in the schools, which is shocking considering it's the land of rape right now. You know, London and all that. They're making the boys take empathy classes and how to treat women. They're getting etiquette and empathy classes right now as we speak. So they can treat women better in these like boarding school situations.
- [53:18]
B
Really?
- [53:19]
A
Well.
- [53:19]
B
Do you know also that people are using AI now as women, like dating people, creating their own avatar. Yeah.
- [53:26]
A
Just like they used to do the Blow up doll and the robots 100
- [53:28]
B
and the robots versus like, you know, these, like it's like a film becoming reality, like real life. There's so many reasons why dating is down. Do you think it's worse for the younger generation? Like the. Oh, it's 18 to 30 or worse for 40 to 70?
- [53:43]
A
No, it's worse for the age because at least the 40 to 70 has had a taste of what physical companionship is.
- [53:48]
B
Yeah, so they are the 18 year olds.
- [53:50]
A
Some of these kids don't even never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. And they're not bad looking and they might be tech spectrumy, but when it comes to like actually asking a girl out to the prom or something, like they've never done that.
- [54:01]
B
Also I find, I don't know if it's mostly just in LA or California in general. Everyone is fluid and bisexual. So like they're not even the gender.
- [54:10]
A
My friend's daughter is like that.
- [54:12]
B
A lot of my friends kids are.
- [54:14]
A
And if you say anything against it 100%. Can't you pick one side? If you close your eyes, which one is more attractive? They're both. They're both. And then my favorite is the pansexual where they, they're in the mind. They love the mind stimulus. There was another one.
- [54:27]
B
Yeah, no, I know exactly what happened.
- [54:28]
A
The pan. And what's the other one? The intellectual one?
- [54:31]
B
Oh, Neurotrend. No, I can't think of it.
- [54:34]
A
It's like a sexual. Where you're only turned on by the mind. The pan is the soul. Yeah, the soul. And the other one's the mind.
- [54:41]
B
I don't know which one you're talking about. I'm sure if you said, I bet
- [54:43]
A
you it'll come to me later. I'm sure someone's gonna. They're gonna DM me.
- [54:47]
B
Yeah. Yes, they will. And I'll let you know.
- [54:49]
A
There it is. And I forget what it's called, but
- [54:51]
B
I feel like that's another reason why relationships are not flourishing at that age. But. So then you think that that generation is worse than our generation?
- [54:59]
A
Yes, way worse. Way worse. They will get to the point where they will never connect. There was a movie with Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock and she. They didn't have sex, remember? He comes back to earth after a certain period of time and she's in the present, but it's really the future. And he says to her, let's have sex. And she starts to work with some computer thing and he goes, what are you doing? And he's like, I'm having sex. Like, like in other Words. Something outside of her was stimulating her, and he didn't get to touch her. That's what's gonna happen in the future.
- [55:30]
B
I think it's very. We're not that far away.
- [55:32]
A
Yeah, we've made maybe five, 10 years. Yeah.
- [55:33]
B
You know, I was just telling someone before you got here, you know, I just got back from Miami, like I said, and I played Padel, or I heard.
- [55:41]
A
It's amazing. Better than pickleball.
- [55:43]
B
Way better than pickleball. That's what I'm bringing it up to. So my friends.
- [55:45]
A
And there's clubs coming up with it, so.
- [55:47]
B
Yeah, so my friends were super into it. Like, you have to come to Padel. So I went to, like, two or three. No, three different clubs there to play. I found it to be super vibey. I found there to be a ton of single people, women and men, who are professional and successful and attractive and athletic. I was like, wow. Like, this is like the panacea.
- [56:08]
A
Did you see the country club is being built in Fort Lauderdale? That's all pickleball and pidelle. It's like the same.
- [56:14]
B
And Padel? Both. It's both.
- [56:16]
A
And it's a country club. You basically join. Like, you're joining Soho.
- [56:20]
B
Yeah, exactly.
- [56:20]
A
And then there's clubs everywhere, all different groups, age ranges and everything. And then they go to have lunch at the club and there's parties at night. And it's in Fort Lauderdale by, so Sawgrass. And I'm sitting here going, we need that in la, because we don't have anything here.
- [56:33]
B
Can I tell you something? I was like, that's exactly what I was saying. I'm like, this is crazy, because there. It's so vibey. They built a whole culture around it. People go there, they hang out, they watch other people play, then they play their game. Then there's like a whatever thing going. And the crowd is way, I think, a much more affluent crowd than pickleball.
- [56:54]
A
It's way more affluent.
- [56:56]
B
Yeah. And, like, athletic. So if you're someone who's into athletics. So, like, to me, these are great places to meet people as well.
- [57:03]
A
Well, that's another thing. Like, now, like, mahjong took off, and it's not just for women only. Like, I've seen groups where men and women are playing mahjong. They're going down to Chinatown, they're learning how to play with the pros, and then they're starting their own mahjong groups.
- [57:16]
B
Really? Men are playing mahong?
- [57:17]
A
Yes. My mother was a backgammon champion, and my dad was A car champion. And my dad, my mom won awards. She built Wilt Chamberlain and everything. She won awards in New York City, El Morocco. And she used to have these backgammon cav. My father imported caviar beluga for five years from Russia. And so they would have caviar backgammon parties. Caviar took off. Mah jong took off. Like, what's next?
- [57:41]
B
Are you kidding me?
- [57:41]
A
Yeah. That's incredible. They start these amazing parties at my parents house.
- [57:46]
B
So I used to have this thing called game night, which I would like.
- [57:48]
A
Oh, I love that.
- [57:49]
B
Oh my God. Can I tell you something? We would do game night probably once a month. And what we would do is we would invite a whole different array of people. Like usually 30 people, 40 people.
- [57:58]
A
Can start that again.
- [57:58]
B
Yeah, I will say something. It was such a hit. So it became so popular. Like, and then everyone would bring their friends and like, everyone would like, you know, like mingle and talk. Like, I think having like experiences with people is the best way.
- [58:14]
A
Okay. I can't tell you how many people, like in the old days of game night, like when I was in, I lived in Florida.
- [58:20]
B
Yeah.
- [58:20]
A
Because we took it for granted. We lived in buildings on the beach and everyone knew each other. And on like Thursday night, we'd go to the cigar bar and play pool. And like, we had it so good. And we took fan. We took advantage of it because we, we should have like picked one and got off the market.
- [58:34]
B
Yes.
- [58:34]
A
But I think that's the best way to meet people because even if you don't meet someone, you meet someone's friend.
- [58:40]
B
Can I tell?
- [58:40]
A
Or they introduce you to someone. You know how many times I've said to someone, I'll fix you up if you fix me up. And then we did that 100%.
- [58:47]
B
But also, like, I'm a big conduit person. Right. Like, I'm very much, I think, like you in that way. Like, even at these game nights, like, you would, you would be surprised how many business things happen. Like business relationships, friendships, a couple.
- [59:01]
A
You need to take 10 of all that.
- [59:03]
B
I was. People would say to me all the time. They'd be like, you have. He should take. Like, you should definitely take a commission on this. Because the amount of things that have happened just in the vicinity of me. Business relationship, I mean, professional, personal. I think it's. That is the way to do it. Like surround yourself with people.
- [59:20]
A
That's what we need to do. So like, if you're in a community, you need to be the ringleader. Like you're the social butterfly. You know, everyone. Everyone chips in and pays for whatever they have to pay for. The food, the drinks, whatever.
- [59:31]
B
Right, right.
- [59:31]
A
And then you start doing this. It will create a community. And the problem is most people are lazy right now. They don't want to lift a community.
- [59:37]
B
People don't want them, by the way, I'm not even that much of a social butterfly, however.
- [59:41]
A
But what a fun thing to do on social media. I would look forward to that.
- [59:44]
B
So that's the thing. Like, I'm not even naturally a social butterfly, but I do like to do certain things. And to me, it's like I'd rather get everyone together than going individually with one person. One person, One person. It's exhausting. So I'm like, I'm gonna invite 20 people, and that's the best way to do it.
- [59:59]
A
My mom created this thing called Ring the Bell, and I put it on the show, and it was the greatest thing in the world. So it's called Ring the Bell. It's a party that my mom used to have. So she'd have tables, and men would sit around the table, and women would sit next to them, and she'd have icebreakers in the front, like little cards when you'd read.
- [60:16]
B
So fun.
- [60:16]
A
Somebody would read the question, and then it'd break the ice. And then whoever ran the event would ring the bell, and after every course, the man would get up, the woman would stand and go around the table.
- [60:26]
B
It's a speed dating.
- [60:27]
A
And my mother had marriages and marriages from this thing. So I brought it on the show once. It was really cute.
- [60:33]
B
Isn't that speed dating?
- [60:35]
A
It was, in a sense, but not really. Speed dating is when you're across from someone, or we call power dating, even though the rabbi invented speed dating. Across from someone, and then you jump, you jump, you jump. But this is different because you're at a dinner. So you're at a dinner and you're talking to everyone. So a woman has a man to both sides, and then a man has another woman to the side. If the man gets up and moves one over, everybody meets everyone.
- [60:58]
B
Yeah.
- [60:59]
A
And it's like after each course, like, she'd have small courses, and then the big finish with the dessert.
- [61:04]
B
That's so great. I love that.
- [61:06]
A
It was a really cute idea. So dinner parties are great too. The problem is people go there. I'm gonna meet my husband. No, go there to meet people. How about you just make friends and see where it lays? You know, you got out of the house, you put some Lipstick on you put a pair of cute jeans on and just relax. Like, you know, rather than hunting and standing at a bar waiting to get picked.
- [61:27]
B
Yeah, I agree. And also, I think that, like, air of desperation. If you're going there just to meet, just to meet, as opposed to having much more of I'm going there like a reframe of your brain, you're going there to meet people versus I need laser focus. I need to meet a man. I need to meet a woman.
- [61:43]
A
I mean, my mom was good at the matchmaking part because she did that for a living. But the other thing is, she also put people in the group that had the same common interests. Like, if they were golfers, male and female golfers, she put them all together, and then they had something to talk about. So another thing is you can make groups based on, like, skiing or whatever your hobbies are. I love to cook, so mine would be like, cooking, you know, what do you cook? I cook everything. You name it, I can cook it. That's just my thing. I've always been like that since a child. Yeah. I was. My family always had the refrigerators filled. My aunt, my grandmother. And if they didn't have food to cook, you were in trouble because that was how we showed love. Yeah.
- [62:20]
B
I mean, that's also very Jewish, though, right? Like, that's what I mean.
- [62:22]
A
But I mean, like, I cook really clean now, so I'm like. I was Erwan before Erewhon, you know.
- [62:27]
B
Oh, really?
- [62:27]
A
Like, that's how I cooked. Yeah. All clean ingredients. Reading labels. I. She just gave me something to look at, and I looked immediately went to the label.
- [62:34]
B
I know. So you read every label, Every label.
- [62:37]
A
I know what seed oils are in. I know everything's going down, what flower they used. I'm neurotic.
- [62:43]
B
Yeah, I love that.
- [62:44]
A
Yeah.
- [62:50]
B
I want to take a quick break to talk about something I genuinely think is a game changer for healthy aging, and that's fatty 15. Here's what you need to know. Scientists discovered the first new essential fatty acid in over 90 years. It's called C15, and it's a big deal. When your cells don't have enough C15, they become fragile, and they age faster. And when your cells age, your body ages full stop. As many as one in three people worldwide may have low C15 levels, a condition called cellular fragility syndrome. And most of them have no idea. Fatty15 co founder Dr. Stephanie Van Watson discovered C15 while working with the US Navy studying aging dolphins. Based on over 100 studies, we now know C15 is a key nutrient for slowing biological aging at the cellular level. And fatty 15 has three times more cellular benefits than omega 3 or fish oil. By the way, 72% of fatty 15 customers report seeing or feeling benefits within 16 weeks. Things like deeper sleep, improved energy and healthier hair, skin and nails. It's vegan friendly, free of allergens and preservatives, and clinically proven to raise the C15 levels. So if you care about your age, and I know you do, this is worth your attention. Go to www.fattty15.com habits and use code Habits at checkout to get an additional 15% off their 90 day starter kit. That's fatty15.com habits, code habits and you can find the link in the show notes. Now let's get back to the episode. What's the number one question people ask you?
- [64:55]
A
Where are all the men? More than where are the women?
- [64:58]
B
Do men ever ask you where all the women are?
- [65:00]
A
No, they just say, hip, fix me up. They just know that I have the women. They go fix me up.
- [65:04]
B
But they, they want to know. But it's always, where are all the men?
- [65:06]
A
Where are the men? They're so sad. And look, look, everybody goes through depression. We watched all those Christmas movies where everybody found love this last period. And I just wanna cry every single time and go, where's my guy? And now we have a song, our national anthem. What do you mean where the hell is my husband? By Ray.
- [65:23]
B
That's right.
- [65:24]
A
The minute it dropped, I told everyone this is gonna be the biggest hit of next year. People are like, you're crazy. I'm like, okay, I'm an idiot. But that is the national anthem. Where is my husband? It used to be the single girls. Screw you, Beyonce.
- [65:38]
B
We have Ray. Exactly.
- [65:40]
A
Ray is new girl in town.
- [65:41]
B
So that's the number one question they ask you. Do they ever ask you, how are you single if you're a matchmaker?
- [65:47]
A
Always. Always. But that's my journey and my story. I go on dates. I haven't found the one. I feel like LA's really hard. It would be easier for me in Florida, but I don't live there. So that's. Why don't you move?
- [66:00]
B
Why are you here still?
- [66:01]
A
I live here cause I produce tv. I made five movies for Hallmark. I'm producing a scripted series with the people that made the Kissing Booth and the Queen's Gambit and the Walter Boys. So I'm working on a scripted show with them.
- [66:14]
B
Can't you like live here half the time?
- [66:16]
A
I Can. I can.
- [66:17]
B
In Boca.
- [66:18]
A
Half the time I can. But you know what? I really like the weather here. I don't know what it is, like, the humidity. Did it get you? A little bit.
- [66:23]
B
I was lucky. It was freezing cold. Oh, you were good.
- [66:26]
A
You were in the rain. You had the rain and the freezing cold.
- [66:28]
B
Oh, it was.
- [66:28]
A
No.
- [66:29]
B
Yeah. No rain. Thank God. I hate. That's the problem with Florida. Usually.
- [66:32]
A
It had rain. This last year, you know that I
- [66:34]
B
had the worst year.
- [66:35]
A
I was. The last time I was there, I went there. I usually go every other month. My best friend lives there.
- [66:39]
B
Oh, really?
- [66:39]
A
In Fort Lauderdale? Yeah. And the last time I was there, I said thank you for the rain. Every day I was there, it rained.
- [66:44]
B
I hate rain, though.
- [66:45]
A
Yeah, well, rain brings the mosquitoes, so it's terrible in Florida.
- [66:48]
B
Oh, I just. Yeah, that's. Listen, I really love the life in Miami.
- [66:52]
A
I want to bring it. If I have to import somebody in, I know. Like, hey, guys, if you're watching the show, we're both single. I'm just putting it out there because I would totally import a guy in, especially a guy who's successful and already has money. He can live anywhere.
- [67:06]
B
Well, I mean, 100%.
- [67:07]
A
And who wouldn't want to live in LA? It's beautiful.
- [67:09]
B
Yeah. I'll tell you who wouldn't. Anybody who has any money because of the taxes here.
- [67:14]
A
It's so expensive.
- [67:15]
B
Okay. Not to mention all the homeless. I can give you a million reason why.
- [67:18]
A
Okay. All right, all right. Okay.
- [67:19]
B
Many people have. Most of the people I know have, like.
- [67:22]
A
And then we lost the Palisades also.
- [67:23]
B
And the Palisades. And so there's a lot of reasons. I think the. The only reason to be in LA now is the weather. I mean, I think that's. That's really where it comes from.
- [67:31]
A
But then we don't have even summer. We don't. We get, you know, June gloom and May gray, and we don't get, like, summer till everybody. Everybody's leaving to go back to school. And then we get our summer.
- [67:40]
B
Isn't that something?
- [67:40]
A
It's so stupid.
- [67:41]
B
It's crazy. I agree. What's the difference between being picky and having very high standards?
- [67:46]
A
Picky is neurosis. So it's constantly where, you know, her eyelashes flutter too much or, you know, one thigh's thinner than the other. Like, that's. That's creepy. But high standards, high value woman. That's okay. Yeah, but I'd rather you have high standards.
- [68:03]
B
No, but what's the difference? Am someone who's like picky. Picky, silly things.
- [68:06]
A
But like, picky is kind of picky. That's not so much silly things. It's just neurosis over like, you know, like I'm too picky. Well, should I be low standards? So high standards is like, you look at yourself. Do you have those things? Are you success? If you want someone successful, Are you successful? If you want someone in shape? Are you in shape? That's like high standards.
- [68:26]
B
So what I find so hilarious is when these. I find. This is what I think happens a lot when people who aren't like they're a 6 and they expect to get an 11.
- [68:37]
A
Especially if it's a man that has money.
- [68:38]
B
Yeah.
- [68:39]
A
Because they can get.
- [68:41]
B
They get the 11.
- [68:41]
A
Yeah. He believes the entrance fee.
- [68:44]
B
Okay.
- [68:45]
A
Of the money. Jeff Bezos, 101, you know, and then she comes along and makes him in shape.
- [68:51]
B
Yeah.
- [68:51]
A
I mean, they have a good relationship like that.
- [68:53]
B
I know, but to me that's even. I see it way worse. At least she's age appropriate.
- [68:57]
A
Yeah. Isn't that nice? At least she's really nice.
- [69:00]
B
Like to me it's like, Laura's great.
- [69:02]
A
She's great. Life's great.
- [69:03]
B
And also she's no dummy.
- [69:04]
A
Yeah.
- [69:05]
B
You know what I mean? So to me, I can deal with that. What I don't like is when it's like I'm. You're like five foot one and you're bald, but you're very rich and you're.
- [69:15]
A
Well, there's tons of nerds on the, on the Forbes 400 and they're dating
- [69:19]
B
a 25 year old gold digger and they think that's okay, but I don't see that.
- [69:23]
A
But they didn't get that in high school.
- [69:25]
B
But I say if you marry for money, you earn every penny because the girl still has to have sex with that guy.
- [69:31]
A
Some girls don't care. I know they're going Birkin, Birkin, Birkin. As he's going up and down and pumping a junk.
- [69:37]
B
But what I don't get but is how. What does that say about the girl?
- [69:40]
A
The girl is materialistic, but you get what you pay for.
- [69:43]
B
You get what you pay and you earn every penny.
- [69:45]
A
Watch the movie Gentlemen, Gentlemen. What's that movie? Blondes, Gentlemen. Blondes Gentlemen. The Marilyn Monroe movie. Gentlemen, More blondes.
- [69:54]
B
Yeah.
- [69:54]
A
Okay. So she says to, she's dating this guy and the guy, father has the money, he's the billionaire. And she says to him, well, don't you know a pretty girl is just like a man with Money. We have an exchange.
- [70:08]
B
Transaction.
- [70:08]
A
Yeah, transaction. And then she said, what's wrong with that? You're not gonna date. You're not gonna marry an ugly girl. Why not me? In the end, she says that. And I just saw that clip. I put it on my Instagram.
- [70:19]
B
Listen, if it works for you, all the power to you. But I find that very. I find that interesting. Okay?
- [70:24]
A
Yeah, but you have to understand, in that time, in that era, women didn't have money, so we were slaves to men. So think about this. Yes, we've always been slaves to men till this generation. Think about that. Think about that. Yeah, I know. Our generation, okay, Made the money to pave the way for these younger kids where they're making. They're not going to even college. They're like, why should I go in debt? I can make six times that month. AI, you know, CGI and all this other crap that they're doing. UCSG and all this shit. They're making all this stuff online without even going to college. Well, we had to go to college. We had to pay our dues. We had to work for the man. They're not doing that anymore. So they're making all this money and living at home and saving money at the same time. Like, it's crazy.
- [71:08]
B
It is crazy. And then.
- [71:09]
A
But then they're socially inept, so there's a payoff at the end of the day. But the girl that's traveling around and, you know, on Instagram and going, I got princess treatment. He's taking me there and here. And I just got my ring and da, da, da, da, da, da. We'll see how long that lasts.
- [71:23]
B
What do you think, though? Of having, like. Of traditional values?
- [71:26]
A
I'm traditional, right? I'm old school.
- [71:28]
B
Very old school. I'm old school. I'm way old school.
- [71:31]
A
Then you would never know that about me. But that's what I've been trying.
- [71:35]
B
But you preach it a lot.
- [71:36]
A
I feel better when I'm old school. The minute I get outside of old school, I do not feel good at all.
- [71:42]
B
Right? No, I mean, and your whole thing also with, like, no sex before monogamy and all these things, you still believe
- [71:47]
A
that, but there's a reason. There's a biological reason. You know that, right? So the biological reason Emily would tell you this, the biological reason is that we have oxytocin. They only get oxytocin through vasopressin. So a man falls in love when he's doing things for you, solving your problems and doing things, building those ikea shelves, okay? Picking up for dinner every night. When he's doing, he feels good and then he loves you more. That creates oxytocin. Very small amount, but still it does create it. Women, the minute we have sex with you, we fall in love with you. Whether we like you or not, whether you got an orgasm or not. The touch creates oxytocin. We bond. That's why we spoon. Okay? And we're screwed. So we can fall in love with the gas station attendant who doesn't give a shit about you, okay? We'll rob you blind, you know, Steal your sister at the same time. And we're like, wait, what just happened? He is not bonded. He bonds through vast oppressant, through vastness.
- [72:43]
B
But doesn't that change over time? So let's say you get so, like. You can start. You don't think it changes over time?
- [72:47]
A
No. As long as he keeps doing for you, he will be in love with you. That's why they did a study recently which upset me greatly that said women who cook, okay, don't get the love from the man. Like women who don't cook. And I automatically cook. Cause that's what my mother and my grandmother did, right?
- [73:05]
B
So then you just.
- [73:06]
A
I remember once, I literally was. I was at the best sex I ever had in Florida at one period. It was dirty 30s, early dirty 30s. And so I thought my boyfriend was cheating. I wasn't sure. And he was leaving the next morning to go on a business trip. So I conveniently went naked under the robe to his house. You know, like one of those. I lived in Florida, and I made his favorite chocolate chip cookies. I stayed up all night baking. That's how he was driving my bus, because my hormones were raging to procreate and have orgasms. Oh, he gave me the best orgasms I ever had. So I was like, Emily would love this story. And I went four years, on again, off again. The day I said it was over, I had the click. He wasn't for me. He wasn't treating me right, blah, blah, blah. I met my fiance the next day, but I had the click go off. Of course, then he please come back. I'll marry you. I love you. I told you. They. Every time. They always come back. They'll come. They could come back 15 years later and say, you were the one that got away. You're going to hear women say that to you after this episode?
- [74:05]
B
Yeah.
- [74:06]
A
Like, yeah. And so the oxytocin controls our brain to make our decisions. Now you get into your 50s and what happens. Hormones change, right? They change. You get into menopause, testosterone increases, estrogen goes down and.
- [74:21]
B
No, testosterone does not increase for men.
- [74:24]
A
For women.
- [74:25]
B
Oh, God.
- [74:25]
A
Women increase testosterone in menopause and our estrogen decreases. When that happens, our brain changes and we become the man. That's why you can have sex after menopause and you basically don't get attached.
- [74:39]
B
I didn't. I thought you. You lose testosterone.
- [74:41]
A
No, you don't lose testosterone. It increases estrogen. Estrogen. You lose estrogen. You need estrogen. That's why it's very important for people to get on bioidenticals, which now we know the truth, which they've been lying to us. And I was always a Suzanne Summers girl. Read the book, went to the doctors have the best functional medicine. Doctor, Dr. Reed, you know, Molly Sims, goes to her.
- [75:02]
B
Do you go to Dr. Reed?
- [75:03]
A
Yeah, love her. Saved my life. She saved my life.
- [75:06]
B
By the way. I went to her 10 years ago. She's French, right?
- [75:09]
A
Yes.
- [75:10]
B
She's a very good doctor. I lost her.
- [75:12]
A
She knew. She's in Santa Monica. She knew about peptides before anyone, anybody else did. Anyway, I went to another famous doctor in Beverly Hills who almost killed me in Covid. And Dr. Reed saved my life.
- [75:24]
B
What do you mean? What kind of doctor you have?
- [75:25]
A
She over prescribed. I don't want to say her name, but she was really bad. She over prescribed her overscribed Biogenicol, but she misdiagnosed my dosage and having Hashimoto's and everything, I almost died. And Dr. Reed changed me.
- [75:39]
B
Really?
- [75:39]
A
She completely changed me. Yeah. And that's important that you go to good physicians that know what they're doing. She won't give you anything FDA approved. Like there's something I wanted and I was reading about and she's like, nope, it's not FDA approved yet. Like she's one of those. But she knows about shit before it happens because she's friends.
- [75:56]
B
I remember she was really good. She was a very good doctor. And I remember when I went to see her for something, she gave me something that nobody else was giving at the time. She's got a great reputation.
- [76:07]
A
There's somebody else really famous that goes to her, but I don't want to say it. Molly has talked about it. This other person is even bigger than Molly. And you know.
- [76:15]
B
No, no, I know, I know.
- [76:16]
A
Like she knew about exioms and all the, you know, glutathione and all the drips before anybody did.
- [76:22]
B
No, that's what she gave me. Glutathione like, 12 years ago.
- [76:25]
A
And she said, and, like, when I got Covid, she knew exactly what to do. Sam Grant, who's my nutritionist, works part time with her too. And she is amazing, too. So those two people together have really changed my life.
- [76:36]
B
God, I should go back to see her. Can you give me her number? I forgot.
- [76:39]
A
Yes, I will give it to you
- [76:40]
B
after the show's over. I really want. I'm just. I can't. I gotta go see her again. Is there anything that I forgot to ask you that you think would be something that my audience would like to hear?
- [76:49]
A
I think. Well, you said you mostly cater to men, right? Is that what you're saying?
- [76:51]
B
I would say 60, 40.
- [76:52]
A
Okay.
- [76:53]
B
No, no, no. Not all at men. I would say 60, 40.
- [76:55]
A
Maybe talk about some men stuff, because we talked more about women stuff. So let's talk about men stuff. Ask me questions about men. What? What?
- [77:02]
B
What? Okay, so. Well, I was asking. Yeah, you're telling me a lot about women. Women, by the way, would love this also. But.
- [77:08]
A
But men were my premium clients, so it started with men, and it's still with men. Because men don't have time. They're busy. They know what they want and they need someone to give it to them. So if they go back on Instagram with their secretaries, they gotta spend a lot of time. Not so much swiping, but screening. And one of the things that I am able to do that nobody can do is me and my team, we screen, like, nobody. We'll say, we'll know who their first great boyfriend was. You know, it's like one of those things. And then we know who's right. Energy for them. Like, I had a really difficult client about three weeks ago who's famous on Instagram, and he gets a million girls, really handsome from the Midwest. And I gave him two girls, right? He likes them both. So now his biggest dilemma is, which one do I choose? I go, well, don't choose any. Just keep dating both, and then you'll figure it out. So one of my clients always says to me, you always give me so many choices. I'm like, should I not like other services? Barely give you one. And I'm giving choices.
- [78:04]
B
Don't you think it's better to focus on one person and see if it.
- [78:07]
A
No, not in the. The beginning stage. Not these kind of clients. These kind of clients need choices because if they go through one, they will come back immediately. They, oh, I pulled the trigger too soon. I rather them date a few people than pick one and take their time.
- [78:20]
B
Right. So you did tell me that in the earlier.
- [78:22]
A
I mean, that's why I tell women when the women come in, these men are dating everyone. You date everyone too. Just don't date. You can only date in my service. One of the problems I have is that I tell women, the men who pay or the women who pays, that's the client. So they can have as many as they want. You cannot.
- [78:39]
B
So in the matchmaking space who like I'm not good at. Besides the dating apps and all the things we already covered, is this a big business? Are there a lot of matchmaking?
- [78:50]
A
It's getting bigger and bigger as we talk about it because of what's going on. Yeah. People are sick of apps and they're sick of anything and AI is going to now take over in the matchmaking space. That's a new thing that's happening with apps.
- [79:01]
B
Really?
- [79:01]
A
Yeah, yeah. It'll assist us, but it'll never get rid of the human touch because they don't know what they're doing. I've tried ChatGPT for the matchmaking, didn't do what I needed to do. So you need a human touch because we are taste, touch and feel. So it's a little different than chatgpt going theoretically what you should do. It's not the same thing. But I will say that AI will be good for recruiting. Which means if I want to find a golfer in Cincinnati at a certain country club, eventually, not today, AA will find me that particular golfer for that client, that female client. So it's like kind of like it's gonna be my legs on the ground. But I wouldn't say it knows how to actually put. Sorry. How to put these two people together.
- [79:45]
B
You know what I was just thinking would be a great thing if they're gonna do something online. LinkedIn should put together.
- [79:51]
A
I always said LinkedIn should do dating for sure. Because it's like you have that core. I don't know them, but I've always said that. And I would be the in house matchmaker and help them put it together. I've always said that.
- [80:02]
B
I think that would be brilliant because you have like all the business, you have like the built in audience of people. I think they tried to do that with the league. Do you remember?
- [80:12]
A
Well, the league has, has basic dating but Facebook dating, but it's not the level because you're looking at business profiles, you're looking at people, CEOs and own corporations and you're looking at a higher level of clientele.
- [80:25]
B
Okay. I have one last question, actually, and then we can wrap. It's been a while. But. But what do you think of interfaith relationships versus.
- [80:32]
A
Ooh, this is a touchy one. You know, being Jewish, we all want everybody to date Jewish. Especially after October 7th.
- [80:39]
B
Right, right.
- [80:40]
A
Love is love. So I'm not here to tell you not to who to date, because you have a different religion. You just gotta know, are you compatible? So, like, for instance, if you.
- [80:48]
B
I'm talking about compatibility.
- [80:50]
A
If you're orthodox Jewish, you're not gonna date a born again Jewish.
- [80:53]
B
No, no, I don't mean it like that. What I mean, I mean is, like, in. Historically, in your experiences with people that you've set up, have you noticed that the people who have, like, longevity over time is people who are Jewish, Jewish, Muslim, Muslim together versus this one and that one, you know? No.
- [81:11]
A
There are plenty of people that have opposite relations. Most of the people now, I feel are getting more spiritual, you know, Like, I'll go to church with a Catholic guy like I did my last boyfriend, and then I'll have Passover dinner with him at my house or something like that. But it's more about, do you believe in God? Like, I can't date an atheist. It wouldn't work for me.
- [81:30]
B
Right, Right.
- [81:30]
A
I'm not religious, although I am a Zionist for Israel. But I can't date somebody who's like, there is. Once we die, we're dead. Like, I'm like, no, that we're reincarnated. Like, you know, there's other stuff going on. There are planets even. How many times have we now know there's alien life and yet nobody wants to talk about it? And I'm sitting here going, there are other planets with other alien life forms. Don't you want to know about that? Yeah, I'm like, great. Until they invade.
- [81:54]
B
Okay, Right. So that's not really. So it's more about the spirituality.
- [81:58]
A
Spirituality is believing in God, you know, and. But when you have a religion, and I won't say the one, everybody's gonna know that will blow themselves up and hurt people in the name of their God. That's a cult. That's not a religion. That's a cult. So I'm sorry if you don't like that. That's a cult. Okay. And I'm sorry. Cause God doesn't hurt people. Okay. You know?
- [82:21]
B
Yeah, I agree.
- [82:22]
A
I was watching one battle after another. Did you see it?
- [82:25]
B
No.
- [82:25]
A
Oh, so good. So fucking good. It's the best movie next to Marty supreme. And that are the two movies of the year. So I watched one battle after another. And there's this thing.
- [82:32]
B
Where's it on now?
- [82:33]
A
When I watch it, I think it's on HBO now. Okay, so it's with Leonard DiCaprio. And so there's this thing, this white supremacist club called the American Christmas Club in the movie. And I can't give away what it is, but I thought about this and I went, wait, they don't want anybody whose blood is tainted that's not pure lily white. I thought Jesus was a Jew and he was spartic. He did not have white skin. Like, I was like. Like, that's how dumb religion became. Like, they just made up their fairy tales as they went along. That's not the truth.
- [83:04]
B
Right.
- [83:04]
A
Jesus was a rabbi, did Tefillin. Every morning he'd come back and go, what the hell did you people do?
- [83:10]
B
That's right. That's interesting. Exactly. True. I'm gonna watch that movie.
- [83:13]
A
Yeah. So you're gonna love that. And Marty Supreme.
- [83:15]
B
Both of them. Okay. I'm gonna watch that.
- [83:16]
A
Well, they're both online. Well, no Marty Saprima saw in the theater last week, but One Bed After Another is on hbo.
- [83:22]
B
Yeah, I'm gonna like that. I like that. Okay. I think that's all. We've been doing this for a while now. I don't know how long this podcast is, but if people wanna know more about you, where can they find you?
- [83:31]
A
They can either go to millionairesclub123.com, it's got an S in Millionaires Club, or DM me on Instagram. Patty Stanger with an I.
- [83:39]
B
There you go. You heard it here. Not first, but you've heard it here. You are great again, the OG of matchmaking. And so entertaining. So, like, straight. I think that you're just so fun.
- [83:49]
A
Cool.
- [83:50]
B
Thank you so much for being on here. I really appreciate it. You're great. And go find Bet Patty on Instagram or the Millionaire. Is there like any kind of, like, survey or something people can fill out?
- [84:00]
A
Yeah, when they get to my website, they can decide if they're going to be a client or a dater. And then they'll just. The prompts will lead you in there.
- [84:07]
B
Oh, okay, great.
- [84:07]
A
Yeah. On the website.
- [84:08]
B
Perfect. Thank you.
- [84:09]
A
Yeah, thanks for having me.
- [84:10]
B
No, thank you for being here. Bye, everyone.