Habits and Hustle - Episode 544

Why Being Interested Beats Trying To Be Interesting in a Conversation
Host: Jen Cohen
Guest/Co-host: Shani
Release Date: April 10, 2026

Episode Overview

In this practical and engaging episode, Jen Cohen and co-host Shani break down the essential habits and strategies for mastering communication. The main focus is on the power of deep connection—why showing genuine interest in others will always outperform attempts to sound interesting. Drawing on their personal experiences and observations from interviews with experts, Jen and Shani share their top three communication tips that anyone can start practicing today.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Active Listening: The Foundation of Real Connection

• Active Listening Defined: Jen stresses that how you listen is as important as what you say. She highlights common conversational pitfalls, like waiting for your turn to speak or letting your mind wander.
• Practical Application: Instead of diving into the next pre-planned question, listen fully and allow the conversation to flow naturally.
• Example in Podcasting:
  • Jen points out that podcasters often miss golden follow-up opportunities because they're “just waiting for you to finish speaking so then they can end up talking” [01:15].
  • She says, “For example…if your guest is talking about how they love to swim…and your next question is about, I don’t know, their work schedule…versus extending the conversation to what they were talking about. That is…fluid versus…out of left field” [02:49].
• Shani’s Challenge:
  • Shani admits it's challenging to actively listen when her “mind is racing” and asks Jen for practical tricks [02:00].
  • Jen responds that “part of being an active listener is not thinking about your next thing you’re going to say” [02:06].

2. Clarity and Conciseness in Communication

• Value of Directness: Jen champions using “very clear and concise language,” emphasizing the need to be direct so “people know what you're talking about” [04:20].
• Adapting for the Audience: Recognize context and tailor your wording to who you’re speaking to—“I talk to my 10-year-old boy very different than…a business associate. Read the room and match accordingly” [06:12].
• Shani's Support: She shares her experience helping people clarify their writing and speaking, noting, “Try and figure out a way that even the layman will understand…” [05:20].
• Eliminating Redundancy: Both agree—“Simple, straightforward, clear and concise”—and joke, “Not to be redundant. Not to be redundant” [06:11].

3. Nonverbal Communication and Body Language

• Importance of Nonverbal Cues: Jen emphasizes that “Body language...can make or break the experience. The gestures you’re making, the nonverbal cues…are super important to…your communication level” [06:12].
• Mirroring:
  • Shani asks if Jen mimics others’ body language; she admits to doing it subconsciously [07:39]. Shani adds, “I’ve not stopped doing it since [middle school]…I do think it helps.”
• Using Names: Jen suggests using people’s names in conversation to enhance engagement and connection:
  • “People love to hear their names, even if they don’t think they do…you feel naturally more comfortable and closer” [08:04].

4. Being Interested Over Being Interesting

• Mindset Shift:
  • Jen advocates for focusing “on being interested versus being interesting,” explaining, “Everybody loves to feel like what they say matters…if you can make people feel that way by being interested…it levels up the entire experience” [08:31].
  • She reflects on her own podcasting experiences: when guests use her name, she feels “like we’re friends now” [08:04].

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “How many times have you spoken to people and they're not paying attention to you? They're looking over your shoulder, or they're just waiting for you to finish speaking so then they can end up talking? These are like massive turnoffs and no-nos.”
  — Jen Cohen [01:15]

• “A lot of times, what I end up doing is I have a bunch of questions written down and more often than not I am not even looking at my questions…So I have to just go on what they're talking about…listen actively enough so then I follow up with something that's appropriate.”
  — Jen Cohen [04:20]

• “Even if you're communicating by mouth and just in conversation, you don't need to be redundant and you do need to be clear and concise and try and figure out a way that even the layman will understand…”
  — Shani [05:20]

• “Being interested versus always trying to be so interesting…levels up the entire experience.”
  — Jen Cohen [08:31]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:14–02:49]: The problem with listening just to reply; the necessity of active listening and real-world examples
• [02:49–04:20]: Failing to follow conversational threads; benefits of organic follow-up questions
• [04:20–06:12]: The role of clarity and directness in communication; adapting for your audience; redundancy
• [06:12–08:04]: Nonverbal cues and mirroring body language; the magic of using people’s names in conversation
• [08:04–End]: Summing up; the value of being interested in others over being interesting

Summary and Takeaways

Jen Cohen and Shani deliver a rich, relatable toolkit for anyone seeking to improve their communication—personally and professionally. By highlighting the underestimated power of being interested in others, delivering clear and concise messages, and being mindful of both verbal and nonverbal cues, the episode champions practical strategies that foster human connection over performative conversation. Their natural, conversational style—full of real-life examples and actionable tips—makes this episode both engaging and immediately actionable for everyday communicators.

For feedback and comments, Jen encourages listeners to share their experiences applying these strategies, reinforcing that communication is an evolving, interactive journey.