Habits and Hustle – Episode 548

"The Trick To Doing Things You Don't Feel Like Doing"

Host: Jen Cohen | Guest: Shani | Date: April 24, 2026

Episode Overview

In this candid and insightful solo episode, Jen Cohen is joined by Shani to explore a simple but powerful mindset shift: instead of focusing on how you feel before doing something difficult, focus on how you’ll feel after. Using relatable examples like exercise, drinking, and difficult conversations, they unpack how this approach can increase motivation, reduce procrastination, and help you make better long-term choices that lead to genuine happiness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Core Mindset Shift: Before vs. After

Jen shares her central belief: Don’t let your pre-action feelings dictate your behavior. Instead, anchor your motivation in the positive feelings that come after doing hard, worthwhile things.
- “I like to focus on things that I think about. Not how I feel before I do something, but how I will feel after I do something.” – Jen (00:29)

2. Illustrative Examples: Health, Happiness, and Habits

Exercise:
- Even when Jen doesn’t feel like going to the gym, she reminds herself how much better she’ll feel after working out.
- “Like, there's a million things I'd rather do than work out, right? … But if I focus on how I feel after the fact, I feel great after I work out.” – Jen (03:08)
Drinking Alcohol:
- Jen compares the allure of drinking (feels good in the moment, bad after) to working out (hard before, good after).
- “No one would ever say they felt worse after working out, but they would say they felt worse after drinking, you know, a liter of tequila.” – Jen (01:13)
Having Difficult Conversations:
- Facing tough conversations is dreaded beforehand, but brings relief and resolution after.
- “Having difficult conversations with people…when you actually do it, you feel really relieved after. Usually, things are never as bad as you think it will be.” – Jen (06:59)

3. Motivation and Self-Talk Strategies

Shani suggests self-talk as a motivational practice, particularly with exercise:
- “That’s such good motivation. Like sitting there thinking to yourself, okay, I obviously don’t want to go, but how am I going to feel?” – Shani (02:55)
Jen emphasizes self-awareness and shifting focus:
- "The focus is always on the before and never on the after." (03:20)

4. On Procrastination, Rumination, and Relief

Procrastination:
- Shani and Jen discuss how procrastinating hard tasks feels good in the moment but creates anxiety and regret.
- “With schoolwork, I always had this… I’d put it off for so long, 'cause it felt good not to do it right now.” – Shani (08:08)
Rumination:
- Overthinking makes challenges seem worse, and delays only increase suffering.
- “Rumination is awful… because then you actually suffer twice… you ruminate…and then have to have the conversation.” – Shani (07:39)

5. Why We Avoid Difficult Things

Jen highlights social and emotional reasons for avoiding the hard stuff—such as discomfort with confrontation or a desire for immediate pleasure.
- “Doing anything that’s difficult will weigh you down at the beginning… but once you actually do it, the feeling of accomplishment after is so much better.” – Jen (08:16)

6. Tangible Takeaway

Make decisions based on your anticipated feelings after—not your temporary feelings before.
- “If you can just focus on that feeling afterwards, that's how you should make your decision.” – Jen (08:40)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On drinking vs. exercise:
“No one would ever say they felt worse after working out, but they would say they felt worse after drinking, you know, a liter of tequila.” – Jen, (01:13)
Switching your focus:
“You switch it on its head, right? We're all waiting for this moment when we feel happy and feel a certain way to then go after something or do something...” – Jen, (02:14)
On rumination:
“Rumination is awful… you actually suffer twice.” – Shani, (07:39)

Key Timestamps

00:29: Jen introduces the episode's main insight—focus on post-action feelings
01:13: Exercise vs. drinking: how we misjudge short-term vs. long-term feelings
02:14: The myth of “waiting until you feel good” to do hard things
03:08: Approaching the gym and other responsibilities with this mindset
06:59: Applying the “feel after” technique to difficult conversations
07:39: The pain of rumination and procrastination
08:40: The formula for better choices—make decisions thinking of the after, not the before

Final Thoughts

Jen and Shani wrap up by reiterating the value of being guided by how you’ll feel after doing what you resist, not just how you feel now. The episode brims with humor and honest, practical advice—delivering a simple, actionable mindset shift for tackling the things you don’t feel like doing.

Habits and Hustle – Episode 548

"The Trick To Doing Things You Don't Feel Like Doing"

Host: Jen Cohen | Guest: Shani | Date: April 24, 2026

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Core Mindset Shift: Before vs. After

Jen shares her central belief: Don’t let your pre-action feelings dictate your behavior. Instead, anchor your motivation in the positive feelings that come after doing hard, worthwhile things.
- “I like to focus on things that I think about. Not how I feel before I do something, but how I will feel after I do something.” – Jen (00:29)

2. Illustrative Examples: Health, Happiness, and Habits

Exercise:
- Even when Jen doesn’t feel like going to the gym, she reminds herself how much better she’ll feel after working out.
- “Like, there's a million things I'd rather do than work out, right? … But if I focus on how I feel after the fact, I feel great after I work out.” – Jen (03:08)
Drinking Alcohol:
- Jen compares the allure of drinking (feels good in the moment, bad after) to working out (hard before, good after).
- “No one would ever say they felt worse after working out, but they would say they felt worse after drinking, you know, a liter of tequila.” – Jen (01:13)
Having Difficult Conversations:
- Facing tough conversations is dreaded beforehand, but brings relief and resolution after.
- “Having difficult conversations with people…when you actually do it, you feel really relieved after. Usually, things are never as bad as you think it will be.” – Jen (06:59)

3. Motivation and Self-Talk Strategies

Shani suggests self-talk as a motivational practice, particularly with exercise:
- “That’s such good motivation. Like sitting there thinking to yourself, okay, I obviously don’t want to go, but how am I going to feel?” – Shani (02:55)
Jen emphasizes self-awareness and shifting focus:
- "The focus is always on the before and never on the after." (03:20)

4. On Procrastination, Rumination, and Relief

Procrastination:
- Shani and Jen discuss how procrastinating hard tasks feels good in the moment but creates anxiety and regret.
- “With schoolwork, I always had this… I’d put it off for so long, 'cause it felt good not to do it right now.” – Shani (08:08)
Rumination:
- Overthinking makes challenges seem worse, and delays only increase suffering.
- “Rumination is awful… because then you actually suffer twice… you ruminate…and then have to have the conversation.” – Shani (07:39)

5. Why We Avoid Difficult Things

Jen highlights social and emotional reasons for avoiding the hard stuff—such as discomfort with confrontation or a desire for immediate pleasure.
- “Doing anything that’s difficult will weigh you down at the beginning… but once you actually do it, the feeling of accomplishment after is so much better.” – Jen (08:16)

6. Tangible Takeaway

Make decisions based on your anticipated feelings after—not your temporary feelings before.
- “If you can just focus on that feeling afterwards, that's how you should make your decision.” – Jen (08:40)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On drinking vs. exercise:
“No one would ever say they felt worse after working out, but they would say they felt worse after drinking, you know, a liter of tequila.” – Jen, (01:13)
Switching your focus:
“You switch it on its head, right? We're all waiting for this moment when we feel happy and feel a certain way to then go after something or do something...” – Jen, (02:14)
On rumination:
“Rumination is awful… you actually suffer twice.” – Shani, (07:39)

Key Timestamps

00:29: Jen introduces the episode's main insight—focus on post-action feelings
01:13: Exercise vs. drinking: how we misjudge short-term vs. long-term feelings
02:14: The myth of “waiting until you feel good” to do hard things
03:08: Approaching the gym and other responsibilities with this mindset
06:59: Applying the “feel after” technique to difficult conversations
07:39: The pain of rumination and procrastination
08:40: The formula for better choices—make decisions thinking of the after, not the before

wavePod

Episode 548: The Trick To Doing Things You Don't Feel Like Doing

Summary

Habits and Hustle – Episode 548

"The Trick To Doing Things You Don't Feel Like Doing"

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Core Mindset Shift: Before vs. After

2. Illustrative Examples: Health, Happiness, and Habits

3. Motivation and Self-Talk Strategies

4. On Procrastination, Rumination, and Relief

5. Why We Avoid Difficult Things

6. Tangible Takeaway

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Key Timestamps

Final Thoughts

Transcript

Summary

Habits and Hustle – Episode 548

"The Trick To Doing Things You Don't Feel Like Doing"

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Core Mindset Shift: Before vs. After

2. Illustrative Examples: Health, Happiness, and Habits

3. Motivation and Self-Talk Strategies

4. On Procrastination, Rumination, and Relief

5. Why We Avoid Difficult Things

6. Tangible Takeaway

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Key Timestamps

Final Thoughts