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- [00:01]
A
Hi, guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it. Before we get into today's episode, I want to take a moment to talk about something that changed how I think about skincare, and that's Peak. Because here's what nobody tells you. You could spend a fortune on serums and creams and still look tired. And then you start to actually wonder maybe your skin is just done. But the real reason is that your cells are dehydrated and inflamed underneath. So nothing you put on top is actually going to. You're just treating the surface when the problem is way deeper. And that's why I love Peak's Radiant Skin Duo. You take the sun goddess Matcha in the morning to detox, calm inflammation and turn your glow back on from the inside. And then their BT fountain beauty electrolytes throughout the day. This is luxury hydration with cermicides and hyaluronic acid that actually repairs your skin barrier at the cellular level so your skin just drinks it up. They both come in these sachets, making it super simple to add into your daily routine and just add it into your water. They taste great and you know exactly the right amount every time. There's no measuring, no thinking about it. And for someone who's running around all the time, that's a lot. So I'm telling you, it is fantastic. Right now, peak is offering 20% off for life plus free gifts. So you have to go to www.peaklife.com Jennifer SD to grab the radiant skin duo. The link is in the show notes, but once Again, to get 20% off, you must go to www.p I q u e l I f e.com Jennifer SD to grab the radio Skin Duo. Now. Welcome to another solo episode of Habits and Hustle. And before we of course dive into the next topic, I want to make sure that you guys, if you're listening to the podcast, it would be so helpful. If you have not yet subscribed to, please subscribe. It makes a big, big difference in the algorithm and getting more people to know that exist. And it's just something we really appreciate. Right, Right, Shani? And for those of you who do listen, we have Shani the Foil. Hello joining us. And I really wanted to explore a topic that I've been thinking a lot about, especially because of social media. And that is like the whole concept and idea around advice. Everybody is an advice giver if you know, the more you scroll with Instagram, I mean, every second reel is someone Doling out advice, which got me really annoyed because I feel like that has become like the new, like the new like ether we're living in, right? Everyone's an expert, everybody's a guru, everyone knows everything about everything, which is just such garbage. And I wanted to talk about this because it's impossible for, for everybody a, to know everything, to be an expert in everything. Like, and you know, we, people have to have more discernment of where they're seeking out advice from. And this goes with everything in life. It is business, it is personal, it is everything. So I wanted to talk with this. I read a couple articles recently about the fact that I am not the only one who feels this way, if
- [03:38]
B
you can believe it.
- [03:39]
A
I'm actually very upset about the fact that this has become such a trend and a thing in ethos about everyone being an expert and a guru. Because if people don't have the wherewithal to know, then they're really getting advice from the wrong people who have no business in the world giving you advice. So like, if you are someone who is seeking true advice from somebody, make sure that the person that you're talking to has done whatever that thing is before. And there's other like things that you should, that should qualify you as an expert, right? Because it's actually, I think that advice actually expires. There's a finite amount of time and characteristics that actually think that, that that advice even qualifies, wouldn't you agree?
- [04:23]
B
I think that's exactly how almost every single millennial and Gen Z feels when their parents instruct them to just buy a house, settle down, do what they did, get a steady job, and it's like absolutely ridiculous advice for this economy and for this world. We're in a different time, right? The average homeowner back in the day was like 20 something years old. The average homeown, literally their 40s. That's a crazy difference in stats. And it's only in a few decades time span that that difference has occurred. So like the advice that a lot of people give so many younger generations, I just don't think they realize it doesn't apply. And that's also why I feel so, I feel so passionate about the idea that the people leading the charge in a lot of areas need to be in touch with what's happening today, whether it be that they're younger or that they're just like really aware of what's happening.
- [05:09]
A
So, you know, it's very interesting that you said that because one of the points that I was going to talk about where to get advice from is exactly that. If you're seeking advice from someone and they obviously should be someone that has done whatever that thing is that they've done before, but also when did they do that thing? Right. If they did that thing, whatever that is, 30 years ago or 20 years ago, the game has changed so much that their advice has become null and void. Absolutely, Absolutely. That's the point. Like if you are someone who started a business 30 years ago, but and you're someone who's actually starting a technology company that now has AI abilities and all these other things that we never even had back then, maybe that person's opinion and experience is limited to what the world had to offer back then.
- [05:59]
B
Absolutely.
- [06:01]
A
Right. So everything basically does have a shelf life, even business advice.
- [06:06]
B
Yeah. My problem with Shark Tank is I feel like a lot of times the advice that they give is so out of touch with the current reality. And that's why the sharks that I like are the ones who I feel like get today. Like Richard Branson or whatever. I loved when he was on there. I just thought everything he said was like. I was like, yeah, all right. I feel that. You know what I mean? Like he just made sense. But you get some of these comments from what's his face.
- [06:25]
A
The guy who be careful.
- [06:27]
B
He's all the way over. What's his not. Not Kevin. He drives me crazy. He never gets a deal. Yeah, he always offers people deals and he never gets them because he's notorious for backing out of deals after the show. So. So a lot of people never want to commit to him.
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A
Really.
- [06:39]
B
But I also find that a lot of times the stuff he says is so out of touch with like today. And it's just, it's so apparent. Like you're not building that same company today. There's no chance, you know.
- [06:49]
A
Well, that's the thing. Like, especially with like Internet marketing and digital marketing and all these other elements. So you're not selling just a widget in the mom paw store. So it's very, very different. But that goes with everything. Like it's not just about. It's across board advice, self help, everything. It's everything. Food, food, everything. Self help is an area. Drives me freaking bananas how everybody is a self help expert. You know that recently I just changed my bio on my Instagram because people were, you know, like it was. People would refer to me. So then I refer to myself in my bio as an expert. Right? Like either I'm a wellness expert, a fitness expert, a Business marketing guru, whatever those things are, that people would tout me and then I would put that in, not because I believe it, but because that was the vernacular that was used. And after, like, being at this place where I'm getting so bombarded with all this bullshit of everyone being this expert, I'm like, I don't want to be in that pool anymore, because who am I? I'm one person. I'm no expert. You know, Like, I'm just a person who basically does a lot of trial and error and figures things out. So if you want to ask me advice on something, it's my opinion for the information that I know at this moment, given my experience, but by all means, I'm no expert in any way. And the funny thing is, I also think that most people who've reached a lot of success in a lot in different areas, they didn't even know at the time what the hell they were doing. But it was only after hindsight and many, many years later, right, that they started to connect the dots on, like, what worked, what didn't work.
- [08:26]
B
Steve Jobs motto, right?
- [08:27]
A
So, like, nobody's really an expert in anything, you know? Absolutely. So. But with that being said, it is important to be discerning. And when you are asking people for advice, like, make sure not only that they've done it before in the realm of what you're doing, but when they did it. And also be careful and very cautious of people who think they. And say they're an expert in a lot of different areas. Like the same people who write a bunch of books. What, like, so now you're an expert. Like, you're an expert in sales, you're an expert in this. Like, to me, if pick a lane and then, like, work on that. You can't be an expert in everything. So, like, what? That's what I find a lot of times that I'm noticing.
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B
I just think it also, like, advice has to resonate with you.
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A
Well, take a grain of salt.
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B
But you have to be able to not just discern who it's coming from, but different people will give. I mean, like, for example, like, very close friends of mine, right? Sometimes they give me great advice and sometimes they give me really shitty advice. And it's up to me to be able to listen to what somebody is saying and decide for myself whether or not I actually feel like that resonates in a way. Like, do I feel like that is going to work in this situation? Are they coming from a place of experience? Are they coming from a place like, even if somebody has done what they say that they've done, maybe they did it in a way I don't want to do, right? Maybe they've gone about it in a route that's not for me. So you have to be able to assess everything that's being told to you and actually filter it through your own mind. Because just someone tells you something that maybe it's good, maybe it's coming from a perfect source, maybe they are an expert in that area. Maybe they're recently too. Maybe what they say just isn't for you.
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A
Well, that's really a good point. And that's why a lot of times you should be somebody who actually ignores more advice than you actually take. Right? Because everybody's path is different and what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another. I wanted to just finish what I might point before because I don't think it was super concise. Sorry, was that? It's so. It's hard enough to be an expert in one thing, let alone be an expert in a lot of things. And you have to take it with a grain of salt. And when there are people out there who are gurus and experts who are like, let's say, doling out a lot, they're. They're professional advice givers, right? They write a ton of books on self help. Like one, they're like just one after the other banging them out. They're constantly either telling you what you should do, what you should do. I just think you just have to have a lot of discernment, especially now with social media and, you know, people can edit things really well and have great sound bites and sound like they know what the hell they're talking about. And maybe they're an expert in sounding authoritative. But just because you sound authoritative and you have a good voice for it and you have a great sound bite doesn't necessarily mean you are an authority. And I think that there's a big difference between sounding like you know what the hell you're talking about and actually knowing what you're talking about. And social media is filled with these charlatans who sound really good, but they're like they don't know their ass from their elbow. And I would never take advice from these yahoos.
- [11:32]
B
Absolutely.
- [11:33]
A
That's my two cents.
- [11:34]
B
You could give me like a topic on a piece of paper. Not to toot my own speaking horn, but I could absolutely sound like an expert on like, bananas and make up a bunch of bullshit, and it would sound very good. Do you Know what I mean?
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A
Or, you know, you could do possible.
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B
It's like anyone who's good at speaking can kind of do that. And then they end up saying, scamming all these people.
- [11:48]
A
So, you know, it's really interesting you say that because again, you can Google, you know, benefits of bananas.
- [11:53]
B
You can do that as well.
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A
And you can have a real. Your whole forte could be like, personal speaking, or you could have an actress background and, like, you know, have had experience in performance and carrying yourself a certain way. And then you can spew a lot of nonsense and sound amazing and really don't know anything about anything, but you sound good, versus some people who are actually truly experts and know, like, the intricacies and nuances of a banana or anything we're talking about. But they're, like, awkward, and they don't come across really good and well. And therefore, you know, they're not considered to be a guru or an expert. So just because you can perform well means literally nothing.
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B
Wait, I saw the best reel about this. Like, this was actually. This was probably a year ago the now that I saw this. But it was so fascinating about how oftentimes the people who are legitimately practicing in their industries every single day are the ones that you don't know about because they're not making content. They're so focused on practicing and actually doing all the work, right? Like the plastic surgeons that are legitimately doing surgery 24 7, you don't necessarily know about them, right? But then you got the plastic surgeons who do surgery for two hours, you know, a week, but then they spend the next 48 hours every single week recording content, making footage, making whatever. Now they have like half a million followers on Instagram. So they seem more credible if they're not even at all more credible.
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A
They just spend more time.
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B
They just spend more time making content on their topic than they do actually living their topic. And it drives me crazy.
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A
It's taking me every piece of my being not to interrupt you because I know. I'm so impressed by the way, because I. It drives me insane. Because if you are looking for a professional of any kind, please do not look for that professional on Instagram. Because if they're actually making content, they're not actually practicing what they're supposed to be an expert or a professional in. I will not be looking for my doctor on social media. Not happening.
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B
I know a lot of people do that. Which is so.
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A
Which is so crazy. Like, these doctors have like a million followers. Be it. They could be bullshit. I don't know. But the point is a lot of followers and they're, they're, they're snipping teasers and content. Like, aren't you supposed to be a doctor? Yeah, like, what are you doing on social media?
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B
Okay, to be fair, to compete in today, you do need to have a social presence. So obviously I people putting money into that, into their businesses and such. But I just think that it's so ironic that oftentimes these people with like mass social media credibility are really the ones who are not actually doing anything.
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A
Let me tell you something, okay? About this nonsense about everyone has to have a presence. I get it. You have to have a presence on social media to, to up to, to show people that you actually are a living, breathing human. I get it.
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B
You just get so much more business that way.
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A
But listen, but there's certain professions and there are certain people who, quite frankly, I don't want them to be on social content creator. I want them to be a specialist in surgery. A brain surgeon should be a fricking brain surgeon or a brain doctor. I don't need to hear you yammering on about the brain 24 hours a day, all day on social media and snipping and going on every podcast and doing all the media. Like it's a fine line. I get to have visibility and exposure. But there's a fine line between having some visibility and having some presence. Right? Versus that being what you're spending your actual day doing and job doing. So you're spending what, 20% being a doctor and 80% going on podcasts and interviews and cutting content and doing all these like, teasers. No, no, no, no, no. Like it should be 80% of your job and then maybe 20% of your content. Now if you're a content creator spewing self help stuff, okay, I get that. I don't like it so much, but that's not the point.
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B
I actually hate that the most. I think the self help world is so dangerous because.
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A
Yeah, well, we talked legitimately.
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B
Like, we're just.
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A
This is what the podcast is about.
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B
It's just. Well, yeah, but it's all, all the worlds of experts, right?
- [15:50]
A
Or, or advice.
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B
Experts in advice in general, but as in, to me, miscellaneous. Like you can get advice from someone on food and it's like, all right, whatever. Like, I mean, it can be really detrimental, but you can get advice on how to like deal with suicidal thoughts and it not be good. And then, yes, that has severe consequences in a lot of people's lives, you know, or you know, someone might be diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia. They start scrolling through their feed and they get all of these little clips on it and you know, someone's telling them to do this and someone's telling them to do that and like that could be really dangerous. That could be. If that advice isn't good and it's not. I mean, and not only that, but even if you were to give, even if you are the top psychiatrist in the world giving advice on social. Right. Just general statements across the board, it's completely wrong because that is not individualized, which is what psychiatry is. It's one of the most individualized fields. And self help should also be so individual.
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A
Yeah, I agree.
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B
So I think it's a big problem, right?
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A
Painting, painting with, with painting with a, with a brush like that. Everybody. It's really dangerous. Oh my God. I call out the, in that way, the, the doctors, be it psychiatrists, surgeons, people that are really playing with people's life that like, that's dangerous. It's super dangerous. Like, okay, if you want to be a beauty influencer giving me advice on the shade of lipstick I'm using or what the latest trends are, consequences are so much smaller. I get that the consequences are way smaller. But if you're somebody who's really dealing with a health, either a physically a health related issue or a mental related issue, and you're finding your advice from these people on Instagram, I think it's just so dangerous. And what I suggest to people is before you do that, maybe a think twice of who that person really is and use Google because if there's no other real press on that person or real, any other information besides what you're finding on a social media app, then maybe think twice with, you know, using them. Because a lot of times people can be really, they can seem, they can seem very popular on Instagram. Right. But there's nothing else about them anywhere else like you should be checking. There's all sorts of different like reviews and, and grades that you can check for like, for like mental health. And like, yeah, there's a lot like real self for like surgeons or whoever. That's what I'm saying. Like there's so many different tiers and like this short solo was really only to be about just overall be much more discerning where you're getting your advice from. If they've done it before, of course, like we said, when did they do it? What are they really an expert in? Because it's very hard to be an expert in more things. Than just one thing, if we're being honest.
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B
Oh, also what's their motivation and what's.
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A
Yeah, and what is the motivation? A lot of times people are giving you advice based on where they are. Like what sometimes they don't want you to do something because they themselves never had the opportunity or they never had the self confidence and so they don't want you even subconsciously to attempt it. There's also something called schadenfreude.
- [18:47]
B
Yeah. Or, or they're trying to sell you something like, let's say they're like, they give you a, you know, it's a clip of advice. Whatever you think it's, it's great.
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A
And then you look at the back to social media.
- [18:54]
B
Yeah. And then you look at the thing and it's like, oh, buy my course on how to be happy. You know what I mean? And it's like look at the motivation behind some of the advice that you're getting. I think that's also important. Wait, what did you say first?
- [19:02]
A
Oh yeah, what I was talking about. So you were talk. You were still on the whole social media like the people like having all these funnels where like you or, or high SEO where you're looking for something or because your algorithm now you're trying to convert someone track. So then they're trying to convert you into buying whatever they're selling for them to, for the pain point that you're looking for. But that wasn't what I was talking about. What I was talking about is something called Schotten Freud which is when shot in a. What it means is when someone enjoys like misery enjoys company like they, they get, they get pleasure out of somebody else's like unhappiness. Right. So like sometimes like if you, you know, because let's say some, some business that I did didn't work out for me and then you're going out to try a business and it failed and you know, I had like some like small piece of like happiness that didn't work out for you.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Right. Like, because misery does enjoy company. That's the, that's the idea behind Schottenfreude.
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B
That's just depressing. But I can understand.
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A
Yeah, that's what it is. But yeah. So this whole thing is to say be discerning who you're getting advice from and check your sources. Don't just use social media as your one stop shop, especially when it comes to like health related things. If you want to look for beauty or motivation, I think it's fine. Even then. But business advice, personal advice, yes, It's a nice place to get some advice, but just be careful of who you're getting it from.
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B
Absolutely.
- [20:33]
A
And on that note, join the Facebook group. In that note, please subscribe and let me know who are your top three people or places you get your advice. I'd like to know. It.