← Habits and Hustle
Habits and Hustle
Lisa Nichols: How to Go From Terrified of Speaking to Magnetically Captivating Any Room
00:39:04
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- [00:01]
A
Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it.
- [00:07]
B
Before we dive into today's episode, I first want to thank our sponsor, Therassage. Their tri light panel has become my favorite biohacking thing for healing my body. It's a portable red light panel that I simply cannot live without. I literally bring it with me everywhere I go and I personally use their red light therapy to help reduce inflammations in places in in my body where honestly I have pain. You can use it on a sore back, stomach, cramps, shoulder, ankle, Red light therapy is my go to. Plus it also has amazing anti aging benefits, including reducing signs of fine lines and wrinkles on your face, which I also use it for. I personally use Therassage Trilite everywhere and all the time. It's small, it's affordable, it's portable and it's really effective. Head over to therassage.com right now and use code be bold for 15% off. This code will work site wide. Again, head over to Therasodge T H E R A s a g e.com and use code be bold for 15% off any of their products. Okay, everybody, this is going to be a brief podcast, a powerful but short, powerful podcast because I have my friend Lisa Nichols here again. Thank you for being here.
- [01:40]
A
I'm so glad to be back. Thank you for having me back.
- [01:42]
B
This is a pleasure. The pleasure is all mine. But before we start, we have only like a few minutes with you today. However, we need to be as focused and alert as possible because God knows it's. We gotta be on point. So we're doing a little, A little healthy shots.
- [01:57]
A
One of my husband's favorites.
- [01:58]
B
I love it. So this is Magic Mind. This one has no sugar, by the way, and no caffeine. So it's for. It's. And it's. Let me tell. Well, let me know if it works. All right, that's to you. I love that your husband loves this. Me too. I've had so many of these already today. It tastes good too, right?
- [02:14]
A
Is it okay to take all of it?
- [02:15]
B
Yeah. Okay, good. By the way, I'm just like, it's delicious. I'm gingerly sipping it because I've had four, which I'm not supposed to have. They've told me to like, kind of like cut back a little because I'm like, woo.
- [02:25]
A
Can you not take shots all day?
- [02:27]
B
Shot, shot, shot, shot. Exactly.
- [02:29]
A
Right, right. I love it. Thank you.
- [02:31]
B
No, thank you. I love these things. They're very Good for you. And they've got great ingredients. Okay, next, let's go into it. Okay. Lisa, you are, like, to me, I like, watch your stuff, I watch your videos, I watch your, like, what you do on stage. And you're so captivating. We were talking about this outside. You're so just naturally motivating. And I was saying outside, like, it's such. It's so natural. Like, how can you actually. Do you really believe you can teach somebody to be magnetic? Or is it something that we have to be born with?
- [03:03]
A
For years I thought I couldn't. I've been told for years you got something. And I didn't know quite for a while how to teach it to others. And then I spent seven days locked in my office, and I wrote down everything that I did. They had really wonky names. And I just kind of wrote down what I was doing, and then I was able to put it into a technique. Five years later, I see people doing the technique. So the answer is yes. You can go from a zero, I'm deathly afraid of speaking to a four. You can go from a four to an eight. I've seen it. All you need to learn are the techniques. Speaking impactful speaking is more than information.
- [03:42]
B
Right.
- [03:43]
A
It blends science, it blends art, it blends a sense of vulnerability. It blends techniques. And there's 16 techniques, and I'm adamant about teaching those techniques all to make you more impactful.
- [03:57]
B
So what's the number one mistake people make when they're trying to impact people, but they're just giving too much communication, too much information?
- [04:05]
A
That's the mistake.
- [04:06]
B
Oh, is that okay?
- [04:06]
A
The mistake is that they think information is impactful. Information is not impactful. Information is educational. And you have to decide number one. The number one thing that people don't realize is that there's four types of speakers. There's an informational speaker, which majority of people fall in. There's a motivational speaker. Outward energy. Rah, rah, go get em. There's an inspirational speaker. It's an inside job. More quiet. And then there's a transformational coach who speaks as a way to invite you into your transformation. Most people don't know that there are three distinctions.
- [04:39]
B
Oh, wow. So like a Tony Robbins.
- [04:41]
A
Four distinctions.
- [04:42]
B
What would he be? What would Tony Robbins.
- [04:44]
A
Motivational. Motivational. And then he moved into transformational because you be with him long enough, you'll get changed. But he's definitely topical. Motivation. Tony Robbins, Les Brown. Yeah, Topical. Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer. Inspirational.
- [04:59]
B
And what are you?
- [05:00]
A
Transformational but I started motivational so you can move through the. You can move through the different genres. I started motivational. I thought I was motivational. So I compared myself to Tony Robbins and Les Brown, and I lost the comparison every single time. And then I realized I'm not motivational. People still call me that. I'm not motivated. I started inspirational inside job. I would speak and people go, mm. And I want them to go, yeah. And I go, I suck.
- [05:31]
B
Right?
- [05:31]
A
Well, I. I was always inspirational. A lot of people start informational and they move from information to inspiration. Most of the time, information doesn't move to motivation. It's too big of a. From head to physical. But information can move to inspiration. And you and all levels require information.
- [05:51]
B
Right.
- [05:52]
A
So your information is never non valid. It's never. It's always important. It's the core of your message. But what do you wrap around the message? It's almost like, make me a great dish, but put it in an amazing crust. And that crust is the experience. Put an amazing package. Don't just inform me, inspire me. People want to be inspired way more than they want to be informed, especially in this day and age. And the number one. If I say number one five times and there's five different number ones, but one of the main things you could do for an audience to want more of you is let them see themselves in you. That requires technique.
- [06:30]
B
Yes.
- [06:31]
A
And no matter where I am, I was in Kazakhstan and Kyiv and Swaziland where people didn't speak any English and they were saying, I am like you in another language. You are like me. You can show any audience themselves when you use the right technique in the right way. It's a powerful art. It's a powerful art and storytelling. Now I just have to say this. We're no longer in a traditional economy. We are now Jennifer in an influence economy. And in an influence economy, people don't care as much about products as they care about the person. They don't care much about the credentials as much as they care about the connection. And so if there's ever a time for you to master your message and master the delivery of your message, it's now. Because people will choose you, then buy from you.
- [07:20]
B
Totally agree. By the way, you couldn't have said it better. I totally, 100% agree. That's why I think this is very important, because everybody now is a personal brand. No matter what you are, you have to have. You have to be able to sell your personal brand through storytelling. But storytelling is. I still go back to my point, it could be very difficult if you don't have the right tools.
- [07:47]
A
Absolutely. And then if you don't, if you haven't mastered how to create stories organically, you'll become a one hit wonder.
- [07:53]
B
Well, that's the thing. So, like people like you, who are natural, I say you're so naturally passionate and vulnerable and a good storyteller. I have a few friends like you who do this. Well, Jesse Itzler is also a friend of mine who does a very good job at storytelling and, and he's very, very good on stage. But that's a craft. And so I guess my first, not my first question, but I guess my. What I want you to help and help guide us and me, you know, is where do people begin? Because I think everyone has a story, they don't think their story is valid. Right. They don't think it's strong enough, it's bold enough. How do we create a story within ourselves to even start with the, with the storytelling?
- [08:38]
A
So I'll give you three things that you could do to immediately increase the impact of delivering a message. Whether you're delivering a story or delivering content, content is always flat. It's content. It's what you put around the content that makes the experience more exciting. Does that make sense?
- [08:56]
B
Yes. Give me an example.
- [08:57]
A
So if you're giving me three points, three ways to be healthier, those three ways don't change. Those three ways don't ever get exciting. It's what you tell me right before you give me the way, number one, and what you tell me right after you give me way number three that makes the entire experience of you feel better. Let me give you another example. Let me take you a little further. So there's a story attached to you. There's a story in your why I'm going to make stuff up right now. But watch this. There was a time when I fought for my life. I fought for my health. I lived in a private health hell. No one knew about it. I made thousands of dollars a month. I was quite successful on the outside, but on the inside, I was miserable. My heart wasn't working right, my body wasn't responding right. And I felt lost in my own body. It betrayed me. I found three things that turned me around. Three things that made life worth living again. I want to share those three things with you now. I don't know the three things. I'm just making this up.
- [09:56]
B
I was like, what are the three things? That's what I'm saying.
- [09:59]
A
I'm just Making this up.
- [10:00]
B
You know what it is if you're shy, like what you just did. If someone is a shy person, they're not gonna be able to execute on that.
- [10:08]
A
Hold on, you mean like Beyonce?
- [10:11]
B
Well, Beyonce's like. But she is a. She's fierce. She's like known to be such a fear.
- [10:16]
A
She turns it on. She turns it on. You mean like Demita Jo? Do you know who Demita Jo is?
- [10:22]
B
I don't know who Demita Jo is. That's Janet Jackson, who's very shy. Very shy.
- [10:26]
A
So what about a shy question?
- [10:28]
B
Okay, but that's on say you know like when someone has like. Okay, you're right. But you're talking about the. Some of the biggest superhero stars.
- [10:33]
A
You turn it on.
- [10:34]
B
Superstars in the world.
- [10:35]
A
But you turn it on and then you turn it off. My husband's that way. He's like Mr. Television Guy. And then he comes home and he's Mr. Book Guy. It's okay. You know what was required to land the plane? You give the people what they need, not what you want. Your conviction and your convenience. Don't live on the same block. Pull up your big girl pants.
- [10:53]
B
That's. Look at you. It's so true. I got to put on my big curl.
- [10:57]
A
But I know world needs you. The world needs a solution. You just share with me some stuff outside that I'm. Like, what? My husband's trying to get me to do creatine forever. You just said like three reasons I need you.
- [11:09]
B
That's content though.
- [11:11]
A
No, that. The passion you had with it, the reason why. Like you were. In order for me to remember you and remember your content, you better make it juicy.
- [11:21]
B
That's true. Everyone has creatine. Yes.
- [11:24]
A
So yes, it's content, but like I said earlier, you need to put something on each side of it. So I come for you.
- [11:36]
B
Let me share my daily routine, game changer with you. It's the Momentous3. I've been using their protein, their creatine and omega 3 combo for months now. And the results are undeniable. These nutrients are key for long term health and performance, but hard to get enough of through diet alone. The Korea pure creatine boosts both physical and your mental performance. The grass fed whey tastes great with no weird aftertaste. And their Omega 3 is a must for recovery. Since adding these, my energy, my recovery and my overall well being has really improved. So if you want better performance, this is the way to go. Visit livemomentous.com and use my code Jen for 35% off your first subscription. That's livemomentous.com code Jen for 35% off your 1st subscription. Trust me, you'll be happy you did. What do you tell people who need to pull a story, their life, their personal story out from them? Because again, I think people don't even realize that they have a story. They think, oh, they're boring or nothing, or they're. Or their story doesn't matter. Because I think a lot of people don't think that they matter. And so their stories are insignificant.
- [13:05]
A
Well, even their. I know a lot of gladiators who know they matter. They just don't know how to tell their story. So either two things. Either you don't think your story matters, or you know your story matters. You just don't know how to tell it. So, number one, and I'm. This is not like a shameless plug, but that's what I do because I know it's not easy.
- [13:23]
B
Yeah.
- [13:23]
A
Like, for years, my friends asked me to show them how to do it, and I was like, you, you got to know this? And I realized people don't know. So, number one, I have a framework that helps people literally drop it in a framework where you just follow this to 30 seconds, talk about something big that I did two minutes, talk about a low point. But here's the deal. In the low point, speak to a low point in the form of a show me versus tell me. It's called scooping. That's one of my techniques, scooping the room. People don't have your same scenario. They don't have your experience, Jennifer. They don't have my experience, but they felt the same way I felt. So the mistake most people make, and I don't want to keep calling mistake, but what. Where they miss moving a room is that you're telling me the details. You're not telling me how you felt. You're telling me the details, but you're not telling me what was going on in your head. Let me give you an example. The day I realized that I wasn't. I was being kicked out of college, I immediately felt like I was a failure. I had ripples and ripples of shame running through my body. I was embarrassed to leave the school, and I was afraid of what my future was going to be. Now, you weren't kicked out of college. I hope I was kicked out of college. You weren't kicked out, but you felt shame, you felt fear, and you felt. Did you see how you started nodding? The more I went into the emotions the more you started nodding, you know what you did?
- [14:40]
B
I just realized you put a lot of adjectives in there for detail.
- [14:45]
A
I scooped you.
- [14:46]
B
You said the word shame. You felt shame. You felt like a failure. You felt like this. So you, like, basically compounded that emotion with lots of words to describe with that emotion.
- [14:55]
A
I showed you. I showed you versus told you. I showed you versus told you. When I realized that I was being robbed, I realized that this consultant had literally betrayed me. I was afraid of my own thoughts. I could only see red. The heat on the back of my neck would not go down. The temperature was 100. I never told you I was angry. I showed you I was angry.
- [15:22]
B
Yeah.
- [15:23]
A
Most people are lazy. They want to hurry up and get to the end. They want to prove to you that they're super smart. The best gift you can give an audience if you're listening to my voice and you want to be impactful is unpack your story, unpack your message. Use more descriptive words that they can relate to. Your speaking is not about you. It has nothing, very little to do with you. Speaking is about the audience. You're never speaking to a hundred people or a thousand people. You're speaking to one person and a thousand seats. They're only thinking about, what can I get out of this that can help my life? When you come with that level of service, that level of I'm a transform you.
- [16:04]
B
Keep going.
- [16:06]
A
I'm going to give you an opportunity. One person only. Go for one person, Jennifer. Don't ever go for the whole audience. Go for one person who happens to be sitting in a thousand seats. Make it intimate. We are missing intimacy. And when you can give them intimacy, truly give them in. To me, I see intimacy. When you can give them a bit of themselves back. By listening to you intimacy in to me, I see through your words, you become unforgettable.
- [16:41]
B
I would never be able to say that, though. I mean, like, you're so good at this. We have to. Let me talk to you about success for a moment. Right. Because obviously you're very successful in doing what you do. Now, what is your take? Do you believe that people are successful because they have this desire in them, or do you believe it's just discipline?
- [17:00]
A
Wow. Let me. Let me make it personal, because I.
- [17:05]
B
That's what you do. Yeah.
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A
I know me better than anybody else.
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B
Right.
- [17:09]
A
I had a burning desire that was so voracious, it burned down every challenge between me and success. I was willing to burn the ships. I was willing to kill away any behavior in me that didn't align with the woman I chose to become. I was willing to put on hold, on ice, and on pause, any relationship that didn't honor the woman that I was midwifing out of me. So desire was. Yeah, it was non negotiable. It felt like the purpose on me was louder than the fear. The purpose on me was louder than the challenges. And I had a lot of challenges, a lot of humiliating moments, a lot of lonely moments. I walked. I walked what felt like alone for years because it felt like no one got me. But I realized no one could get me at one time because I was still figuring out who I was becoming. So I was always moving between seasons. I was never somewhere. I was never a person that stayed. This is what I'm going to be for the next 10 years. I knew I was just going through a version of myself. It was the. I've never said it like this before, so it's almost hard to say. There was years where I was, I had associates and I had family, always. But I didn't land anywhere for a long time because I was moving and I wouldn't stop moving until I felt like, okay, okay, all right. I can, I can. I could. And so it was, I think, desire. Desire, calling, pulling force. And I can't say it's born in everybody.
- [18:52]
B
Do you think that, is there, is there any part of your personality that you think is misunderstood?
- [18:57]
A
Oh, girl, I think that I dream. I dream so big and so vast and fast that I don't know if it's misunderstood or that it's just irritating.
- [19:10]
B
Right?
- [19:12]
A
Like, yeah, I. I think that I could irritate and rub people the wrong way because I'm very grounded. I'm always thinking about the plan, but the, the idea can be so far out that no one can see the how. And here's what I say. Don't interrupt my what because you don't know how. Right? And most people won't sign up for the what, the dream, until they're sure about the how because they're trying to protect other people's perception of them. We're all in image protection, our brand protection. And so I will sign up for the what. I get fired up on the what, and then I'll go, okay, now how are we going to get that done right? Most people want the what and the how together. Really, really close and without the immediate how. They discount the what and then I irritate them. And I'm okay with that because you.
- [20:01]
B
You'Ve, like, what is the One quality about you that you think besides the desire that is that makes you so successful.
- [20:10]
A
I grind, girl.
- [20:11]
B
You grind?
- [20:11]
A
I grind, girl. So that second part of that question, you said, determination. I'm okay with my failures.
- [20:17]
B
Yeah. Discipline.
- [20:18]
A
I'm. And I'm okay with my failures. I trust me in failure. You got to hear, this is the thing. I trust me in the biggest breakdown. And these days, my breakdowns require two or three attorneys, baby. And they seven figures.
- [20:34]
B
Wow.
- [20:36]
A
And I have some going on right now. So tell me what's in the pudding? You know, I literally, my company got like, frauded, and it's only about a $5 million cleanup. And my attorney said, most companies your size don't recover from this. He said, but something in me thinks you're not like most companies.
- [20:57]
B
Really?
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A
Yeah.
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B
And what happened?
- [20:59]
A
And he. Well, in the effort to take my company public, the consultant that took my company public was a fraud. So everything that this person touched was negated. So all of my audits, all of my $250,000 audits, all of my. Then I had to get re audited to bring my books back. Then I had to go black on Wall street so that I couldn't trade. So I cleaned it up. It just was just big and big and ugly. And then the 88 investors, they said, go file bankruptcy and you don't owe anyone. But the 88 investors that had invested pre public, they weren't people just going after money. They were the people sitting in my audience. They were the students on my campus. And so I had to make a decision that was all about integrity. It wasn't about convenience. And I said, I'm not filing bankruptcy. I'm paying everyone back not only what they invested, but I'm paying them back their investment plus interest. And it's taken me a long time and I'm not even done yet. But I'm proud of my efforts. I'm proud of my integrity. I can walk with my head up high, and what I'm clear on is my grind. My grind and my intention will get me. Will Smith said it years ago. He said, I stay on the treadmill longer than most when everyone else is sitting down. You remember that he did it years ago on the Tavis Smiley Show.
- [22:18]
B
I remember that.
- [22:19]
A
Actually, when everyone's sitting, when you take a nap, I'm still on the treadmill. I'm okay with my failures. And this is what I really would love to impart on you. I trust myself in breakdown. I trust myself when it gets messy. There's a sign in my bathroom at home. It says, I trust the next chapter of my life because I know the author. And so I run and leap more than most. Not because I can ensure that I'll fly. It's because I'm sure that I'll get back up if I don't. You ask me, what's the difference? It's that so I'll bet on me. I'm not perfect, but I trust my imperfection. And let me just tell you, that came from feeling isolated and ostracized. That came from so much of feeling not enough. Look at the industry. I'm in an industry where there are very few women at my level and there are even fewer women of color. So I had to walk in rooms and not look for confirmation that I was in the right room. I had to bring it in with me. And we've all been there. And so I've done it enough to trust the cells in my body. Not perfect, but I trust my imperfection.
- [23:29]
B
Because you started. I don't think we covered this last time. You started with the secret. Many. How many years ago was this whole thing?
- [23:35]
A
21? 22 years? 2006.
- [23:45]
B
Okay, let's take a quick break to talk about something that's completely transformed how I approach design for my business. Do you know that moment when you need a logo or marketing materials or even a complete rebrand, but you have no idea where to start? I used to spend hours just scrolling through portfolios, wondering if I'd find someone who actually understood my vision. That's where 99designs by Vista completely changed everything for me. What I love about their platform is how they've made working with talented designers from around the world incredibly simple. You have two options. You can run a contest where their entire creative community submits ideas and you pick your favorite. Or you can work one on one with a designer who is perfectly matched to your project. I've used both approaches and honestly, the quality has blown me away every single time. From logos to complete branding packages, these designers just get it. And here's what's really setting them apart. They're with you from pitch to perfection, offering creative support every step of the way. So if you're ready to bring your brand vision to Life, head to 99designs.com gen 20. That's the number. 99designs.com gen 20. And click claim my discount to get $20 off your first design contest. Your brand deserves this level of creativity. Trust me. So what were you doing before? The secret.
- [25:20]
A
Right? How about that? I call it the secret Tsunami. Because I did have a whole life before.
- [25:26]
B
I don't even know what it is.
- [25:27]
A
Exactly. So I had co authored two Chicken Soup for the Soul books with Jack Cantor.
- [25:32]
B
You did?
- [25:32]
A
I did. I did. And my focus was motivating the teen spirit. So I have a teen foundation that teaches emotional literacy and emotional IQ to teens. We're actually on our way to our annual emotional literacy summer camp right now.
- [25:46]
B
Really?
- [25:47]
A
Yes. I want to come back and ask for donations because we do it all for free. All for free. It's the only summer camp in the United States that teaches emotional literacy in the morning, and then in the afternoon, you go swimming and hiking and all that good stuff at a summer camp. And we decided, based on the climate of this year, that we waived the entire fee. And it costs $2,200 for a kid to go through summer camp for a week, residential. And we. I just go to my friends and say, can you please help me donate for these kids so we can remove the barrier? And kids of all different statures go. And I teach emotional literacy beside my son. My son as the director of the camp.
- [26:23]
B
Really?
- [26:23]
A
And that's what I was doing. I've been doing that for 29 years. I never stopped doing it when the secret came about.
- [26:29]
B
How did you even get the secret? Like, how did that happen?
- [26:32]
A
Someone heard me speak.
- [26:33]
B
Really?
- [26:35]
A
When you recognize the doors that you're speaking can and will open for you. First of all, someone heard me speak at an event and invited me to be a co author of Chicken Soup for the African American Soul. That's how I met Jack Canfield. And then Jack Canfield invited me to be a co author. And then he came to my book signing, and then he heard me speak. And while I'm speaking, I hear him telling Mark Victor Hanson, I feel like I'm listening to the next Dr. Martin Luther King. I had to act like I didn't even hear him because that just scared the Bajeevis out of me. Girl, I'm in my 30s. My baby is like, 5. And then he just started opening doors for me. He said, people need to hear you. My. My voice kicked open every door for me. I wasn't even a good CEO for years. I mean, I sucked at it, but my voice, the way I spoke, kept saving me.
- [27:29]
B
Wow.
- [27:29]
A
So if I. In these last 10 years, before I sit down and just chill with my hubby, I want to give away the superpower to as many people as possible. That's why I'm doing this now. No one knew me for being A speaker coach for years is why I'm not out there as this big speaker coach. Cause I wasn't doing it. It was only because watching it transform my life.
- [27:50]
B
So. Cause wait, so then you get this. So he said, how did this. So you got the Chicken Soup for the Soul.
- [27:55]
A
He invites me into this private council, right?
- [27:58]
B
And then they're like, hey, come and be the part of the Secret.
- [28:00]
A
Or he invites me to this private council, exclusive council, where the first meeting was at his house.
- [28:05]
B
Okay, Jack.
- [28:06]
A
Jack Canfield's house.
- [28:08]
B
Tell people who he is. I don't know. Just in case Jack Canville don't know.
- [28:10]
A
The founder of Chicken Soup for the Soul. He's in the Guinness Book of World's Records as being the only person to have like five or 10 books on the bestsellers list at the same time. He's like, like, this dude is everything, like, to the personal development industry. He just turned 80. He's relaxing now, he's retired, but man, he opened up doors that people don't even know about. So the first meeting is at his house. The second meeting is at John Gray's house. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and here's little old me. I'm one of three women, the only person of color, like, oh, I don't know what I'm doing here. And no one knew me there. And everyone's kind of mumbling like, who is this chick? Who is this chick? And Jack Canfield said, you guys don't know her, but I think we all want to be as powerful as she is when we open our mouths. And then Rhonda Byrne came and Rhonda Byrne is the director of the Secret. He asked, who in this club, exclusive club, wants to be in the Secret. I didn't raise my hand.
- [29:04]
B
Well, how would you describe what the Secret is?
- [29:07]
A
Besides the book and a phenomenon and a.
- [29:10]
B
Well, it's a huge phenomenon. But is it still very much a phenomenon?
- [29:15]
A
I just had a 32 year old come to me and say, I just watched the secret. You were 12, you were 10 when the secret was.
- [29:23]
B
That's why I'm curious.
- [29:24]
A
Keep watching. It'll have another wave.
- [29:26]
B
It's gonna have another resurgence.
- [29:27]
A
It's gonna have another. Especially with this generation.
- [29:29]
B
For sure.
- [29:30]
A
Like, they wanna know, I got it all in my mind. I can control my future. Like, yeah, it's about to resurge.
- [29:35]
B
I think so too.
- [29:36]
A
They put a little juice behind it and it'll just go. Remember the Secret didn't have a major marketing strategy. They. It Went viral because people had secret parties. Secret parties. They were gather their friends and put on the secret and have drinks and talk about it. They had. It wasn't in our strategy.
- [29:53]
B
That's how it kind of went viral.
- [29:54]
A
That's how it did go viral. And then Oprah said she was asked six times in one day when she was building her school in South Africa, have you seen the secret? Have you seen the secret? She said, I knew at the end of the day, I was going to do two things. Have a glass of wine and wash the secret. And this was before social media. This was 21 years ago. Ish. And so, yeah, it's been. It's phenomenal. And so when the secret came out, I stood out again because I told my story. Everyone else, a lot of people, my dear friends, I love them. They gave great content. I told a story. When I tell you I look back at my career and I can't tell you I had this plan, sis. I can't tell you I was that brilliant to say I'm a standout on every stage. When I go to Mindvalley, when I go here, when I go there. I couldn't have told you that. I just did what I knew how to do. And then I started seeing the track record. I went, hold on. And then my friends started saying, teach us how to do what you do. And then I had nothing else to prove. I had nothing else to worry about. My career was built. I wanted to no longer be LeBron James or Michael Jordan. I really wanted to be Phil Jackson, their coach. And so that's where I am now. So to answer your question, my stories were scooping the. Scooping the audiences. Everywhere I went, people saw themselves in me. But I told the story in such a way that you can fit in my story.
- [31:16]
B
So even, like.
- [31:17]
A
And that can be learned.
- [31:18]
B
It can be learned.
- [31:19]
A
Yes, you can. I'm telling you, I'm not done with you. I'm back.
- [31:24]
B
Exactly.
- [31:25]
A
I'm back.
- [31:26]
B
I think. I think it's. I think it's really important, like I said, because of everyone's. How the world has changed. Brands, everything. The brands that actually resonate and connect just as people. Same as people have to figure out their connecting point, their story, their storytelling. I think the storytelling skill is probably one of the most important skills you can get right now.
- [31:48]
A
When you learn how to walk down your mountain and grab your people and go back up. Scoop, scoop, baby, scoop. Scoop, baby, scoop.
- [31:58]
B
But you were obviously very, like, talented. I mean, back then, like, you were noticed. That's how your whole career became what it is.
- [32:07]
A
It was an unconscious competence.
- [32:09]
B
Right? So, like that. That is, everyone has a gift. This is your gift, and now you're sharing your gift. But that. Did you ever think back then that the secret, like that, that would have been like this. This, I guess, juggernaut that's now made you into this person?
- [32:24]
A
No, I didn't think I would make it off the editing floor because I was.
- [32:28]
B
How many people were in it? Can you.
- [32:30]
A
54 people were interviewed, and 24 people made it in.
- [32:33]
B
24.
- [32:34]
A
24.
- [32:34]
B
Did everybody have their own specialty or how was it?
- [32:38]
A
I don't remember. They just interviewed. They just interviewed everyone. I didn't even know what the secret was. Can I tell you?
- [32:44]
B
I don't even know the secret either.
- [32:45]
A
I didn't know what the secret was. It was the law of attraction. Well, yeah, the law of attraction. And I was raised Baptist. We didn't talk about the law of Attraction. We talked about go to church, pray, and go home. Like, there was no law of attraction discussed in my house. What made me stand out again was my storytelling. And so when I saw the movie put together, that was the first time I understood what they were talking about. I just answered the questions. That's all I did. I expected to be on the editing room floor. I'm in a conversation with all of these prolific thought leaders. I wasn't a thought leader. I was a single mom desperately wanting to transform her life. I was hungry, and I was open, and I was willing. Everything else was about my impact. So not only did I make it to the 24, but then there was like a standout four, standout six. You can look back and see. And those of us began to be asked to be interviewed everywhere. A lot of people got interviewed. But then I kept expecting my phone to stop ringing. I was like, I'm going to ride this till the wheels fall off. I'm getting called for keynotes everywhere. And I just expected, oh, it'll be a year. Then a year was three years. Then three years was five years. And I kid you not, my phone didn't stop ringing until probably 18 years later. It slowed down. It never stopped. It slowed down 18 years later. But let me tell you why. Because every stage I got on, I made it ring three more times. So the stages began to make it ring. It wasn't ringing anymore from the secret. It was ringing from the stage.
- [34:12]
B
It was more. It was basically. It was like a ripple effect.
- [34:15]
A
It was a ripple that never stopped.
- [34:16]
B
Rippling, never stopped rippling so when my.
- [34:18]
A
Students would ask me, teach us how to sell ourselves on stage, I'm like, I don't know. I would just answer the phone. Be really great. Be so riveting. So what I. The gift I can give you is show you how to be riveting so the phone will naturally ring so you don't pursue and hunt. You become a magnet.
- [34:35]
B
Right? How do we become a magnet?
- [34:37]
A
You become a magnet by teaching someone something new while inspiring them to stand on their tippy toes while allowing them to see a piece of themselves in you.
- [34:47]
B
Give me an example.
- [34:50]
A
I love it. This is really all for her. You guys. Like, I don't know. I hope you're getting something.
- [34:54]
B
This is not even going to be a podcast. This is going to be my own personal.
- [34:58]
A
I'm gonna listen to this in the bathroom when I put my makeup on, put my eyelashes on, listen to this piece. So.
- [35:03]
B
Oh, my God. I know.
- [35:04]
A
So you gotta go. But I know. We're so violating this. But this is delicious. So teach people something new. That's number one. You got that? That's content, right? Inspire them. So inspire. Looks like this. It is your birthright to love your body. It's your birthright to land in a peace of mind. It's your birthright to put the best things in your body and nothing else. That's your birthright. You see?
- [35:34]
B
Yes, I see. Good job.
- [35:36]
A
Like, you're looking at me like this. Yeah. I'm already married.
- [35:42]
B
Oh.
- [35:44]
A
All I did, like, take whatever content and then just piece that together.
- [35:48]
B
Yeah. But again, I keep on. I like a broken record. You're just really good at it, period.
- [35:54]
A
I am. And you can get really good at it, too.
- [35:56]
B
And so could you. Anybody can. I think, I think. I think the truth is, like you said, because it's such an important skill set. Even if we can move the needle one or two points.
- [36:05]
A
Go from a three to a four.
- [36:06]
B
Yeah. It's better than zero, right?
- [36:08]
A
Go from a zero to a one.
- [36:10]
B
Yeah. I think that's 100%.
- [36:11]
A
Go from not being afraid to be asked to speak to being. Okay, that's it. Yeah. Go from not having an anxiety attack right behind stage right before you go, or.
- [36:23]
B
Or.
- [36:24]
A
Or be afraid to be seen on camera. How many people. And if this is you comment, you know, you got a message in your belly and yet no one can hear it. I must say, with all due respect, I love you, but shame on you. Your message, once you've lived through your story, it's no longer yours. Every lived through story that you have is belongs to us. We need it. You've already lived through it. You've already gotten stronger. You've already gotten more confident because it. You already know who you are now we need it. Why? Because we might be going through that very thing next week.
- [36:59]
B
How about that?
- [37:01]
A
Raise the roof. Raise the bar.
- [37:04]
B
I love it. I love you. Okay, Lisa, this is way. I said 20 minutes. It's been, like, God knows how long. Okay. I love you. Yeah. I think you're just fantastic. And, guys, check out Lisa Nichols for more tips and tricks on how to be the best version of you to. And I'm trying to get you to.
- [37:21]
A
Come and spend three days with me. Come and spend three days with me.
- [37:23]
B
Yes. Me or everybody else.
- [37:25]
A
Yeah. Like, come. Like, this is what I do now. Like, I shifted my entire platform to just teach speakers or individuals.
- [37:33]
B
I'm going to try to be more.
- [37:35]
A
Impactful and step on my campus. Like, that's all I do. And I have the best coaches. And what I love is that when you see my speaker advocate coaches now you'll see 17 people and it's not me, then it becomes real.
- [37:48]
B
I love that. All right. Thanks, Lisa.
- [37:50]
A
I love you, girl.
- [37:51]
B
Love you, too.
- [37:51]
A
More to come.
- [37:53]
B
Bye, everybody. It.