Why Team Sports Are Non-Negotiable for Building Resilient Kids

Summary

Habits and Hustle – Fitness Friday Episode: "Why Team Sports Are Non-Negotiable for Building Resilient Kids"

Date: August 22, 2025
Host: Jennifer Cohen (Jen)
Guests: Tony Robbins, Sal
Podcast Theme: Exploring the fundamental role of team sports in developing mentally resilient, socially adept, and adaptable children in an era dominated by technology.

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Episode Overview

In this lively Fitness Friday discussion, Jen Cohen is joined by Tony Robbins and Sal to dig deep into why enrolling kids in team sports is a "non-negotiable" for parents who want to raise resilient, social, and well-adjusted adults. They explore the vital lessons sports provide—from failure, effort, and leadership to conflict resolution—and critically address challenges like helicopter parenting, smartphones, shifting cultural dynamics, and the erosion of parental roles, especially fathers. The hosts challenge prevailing assumptions with candid personal stories and research-backed insights.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Team Sports vs. Technology: Building the Foundations of Resilience

• Team sports and physical activity are essential experiences for children, now more than ever given pervasive screen time.
• Quote (Sal, 01:55): “Sports play. Working out are the three things that we have to find a way to get our kids involved in.”
• Jen (02:04): Asserts that not putting children (ages 3–10) in team sports is a “major disservice.”
• The panel stresses that team sports counterbalance the isolating effects of screen technology.
• Quote (Sal, 02:33): “Otherwise you are almost for sure signing them up to have social anxiety, depression and all those things.”

2. The Real Lessons: Losing, Winning, and Effort

• Life lessons from sports extend beyond just physical health—failure, effort, and perseverance are essential.
• Quote (Jen, 02:54): “There are winners, there are losers … you may not have great talent, but if you work your ass off, you can move yourself from a three to a seven.”
• The dangers of empty praise—focus should be on effort, not innate ability.
• Quote (Tony Robbins, 03:37): “If you constantly tell a kid, you’re so smart, you’re so smart...the second they encounter a challenge that counters that, they’ll crumble.”
• Praise the process, not the person.
• Quote (Jen, 04:16): "Look, you put so much effort into that. You worked so hard on that. And now look at the results of this."

3. Modern Parenting Trends: Overprotection and the NIL Effect

• Growing trend of parents intervening and moving children to new teams when they don't get the desired playing time, undermining resilience.
• Quote (Jen, 04:49): "Parents are pulling their kids off of teams of sports because their kids are not getting enough playtime."
• The introduction of NIL (Name, Image, Likeness) deals in college sports is eroding loyalty and attachment to teams.
  • Quote (Sal, 05:19): “You have scenarios where a college football team ... the whole team leaves at once.”
  • This is seen as a mirror of cultural shifts undermining commitment and perseverance.
• Sal, 05:47: “I had never heard of kids transferring just to get to another school because they thought they had a better opportunity."

4. Sports as a Microcosm of Life

• Tony Robbins (06:03): Emphasizes that “games are life, but boiled down to an hour or an hour and a half with specific rules.”
• The danger of removing competition—not keeping score, everyone gets a trophy—is diluting life lessons.
• Tony Robbins (06:42): “They’re not learning life in that sense, because life is. Life hits you all the time.”
• Monetizing sports (college athletes getting paid) can teach the wrong lesson: “it’s about money, not life.”
• Tony Robbins (07:01): "When you put your kids in sports, what you need to think about is my child is practicing the game of life for the next 45 minutes.”

5. Social and Emotional Intelligence: The Value of Struggle

• Sports teach kids to deal with setbacks, difficult people, conflict resolution, and to find their role in a group.
• Jen (07:42): “It's conflict resolution is a big one. And also it shows you who are naturally born leaders... where you are in the slot of life.”
• Leadership isn’t always about being the best player.
• Tony Robbins (08:14): “There are many teams where the worst player is the leader of the team because... everybody rallies around them because of their spirit.”
• Parents mistakenly oversimplify sports as only about “scoring a goal.”
• Quote (Tony Robbins, 08:36): “It is way more complex ... as long as societies existed, games have existed.”

6. Helicopter Parenting vs. Letting Kids Struggle

• Jen and Tony highlight the importance of stepping back—letting kids handle social or sports conflicts without parental intervention.
• Quote (Jen, 11:38): “…that’s how they build grit…when you really step away as a parent and say, you know what, you’re doing this on your own.”
• Allowing kids to “fend for themselves” in difficult situations, like the “Lord of the Flies” dynamics among young girls.
• Jen (10:32): "Girls are catty...build their alliances like Lord of the Flies."
• Sal emphasizes that social integration and resolution of peer conflicts should be managed by kids themselves.

7. Adversity Builds Resourceful Adults

• Adults who overcame challenges as children tend to be more capable and interesting.
• Quote (Jen, 12:03): “The people that had the most challenges as kids were the best adults. They were the coolest, they were the most resourceful. They were the strongest.”

8. The Role of Parenting and Fathers

• Children must feel secure with their parents (a solid “home base”) to take healthy risks. Security is not about fixing problems for them.
• Tony Robbins (12:44): “The security looks like this. I have a consistent parent there who’s consistent with me.”
• Controversially, the lack of father involvement is cited as fueling weaker resilience and overprotection in kids.
• Tony Robbins (13:19): “The root of this... is dad. Dad has been gone. ... What moms don’t do nearly as well as dads ... rough and tumble play and pushing your kids a little bit to take risks.”
• Recognition that moms and single moms do their best, but when dads are involved (especially in rough play), resilience goes up.
• Sal (14:54): “I don't know if you can pinpoint it to that. Because mom can do that. Mom could, potentially.”
• Tony Robbins (15:14): "Dad just being there is a million times better than dad not even being there. But what’s better than that is a dad that's involved, who’s consistent, who provides those things.”

9. The Social Media Factor: Boredom, Play, and Resilience

• Smartphones have robbed children of boredom, time to socialize, and spontaneous play.
• Jen (16:19): “If we didn’t have smartphones ... we would be left with hours and hours a day to be bored ... maybe we can go for a bike ride."
• Phones exponentially increase the need for intentional social interaction and play to fill developmental gaps.

10. Parenting in a Digital Age: Hard but Critical

• Sal (18:00): “That phone has robbed these kids of so much of that stuff, of life.”
• Real-world parenting conversation about teaching his own sensitive son to handle disappointment and not collapse emotionally at setbacks:
  • Sal (19:11): “Sometimes you don’t get to play what you want. Sometimes you got to play what Timmy wants ... you don’t cry because you don’t get to play this way or do that. That’s not how you do this, that’s not how real.”
• Tony Robbins (19:41): “The fire started with fatherless homes and the gasoline is social media, the Internet and smartphones.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tony Robbins (03:37): “If you constantly tell a kid, you’re so smart, ... the second they encounter a challenge that counters that, they’ll crumble.”
• Jen (11:38): “That’s how they build grit. When you really step away as a parent and say, you know what? You’re doing this on your own.”
• Tony Robbins (06:03): “Games are life, but boiled down to an hour or an hour and a half with specific rules.”
• Jen (16:19): “If we didn’t have smartphones... we would be left with hours and hours a day to be bored...maybe we can go for a bike ride.”
• Tony Robbins (15:14): “Dad just being there is a million times better than dad not even being there. But what’s better than that is a dad that's involved, who's consistent, who provides those things.”
• Tony Robbins (19:41): “The fire started with fatherless homes and the gasoline is social media, the Internet and smartphones.”

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Highlighted Timestamps

• 01:55: Sal pushes for team sports and physical activity
• 02:54 – 04:16: Jen and Tony discuss praising effort over innate ability
• 05:04 – 05:46: Discussion on the effects of NIL and shifting loyalties in sports
• 06:03 – 08:14: Tony reframes sports as life’s laboratory; downside of removing winners/losers
• 10:22 – 11:50: Jen and Tony talk about letting kids face social conflict and the benefits of struggle
• 12:30 – 13:18: Discussion of secure attachment and the right kind of parental support
• 13:19 – 15:14: Tony’s take on missing fathers, rough play, and the roles of moms/dads
• 16:19: Jen's reflection on social media as a time and play destroyer
• 19:04 – 19:41: Sal and Tony on how parenting and device culture intersect

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Tone and Takeaway

Candid, passionate, sometimes provocative, this episode blends research, personal anecdotes, and societal critique. The hosts hammer home the irreplaceable value of team sports for developing social skills and true resilience in a culture where digital devices and overprotective tendencies threaten fundamental life lessons. Their parting message: let kids fail, struggle, and play together—because that’s where the real, sometimes tough, magic of growing up happens.

Recommended Actions for Parents:

• Prioritize team sports for your kids, especially young children.
• Focus praise on effort and perseverance, not unearned talent.
• Resist the urge to smooth every challenge—let kids solve conflicts and face adversity.
• Be present, consistent, and supportive, but don’t shield children from difficulties.
• Limit screen time to foster genuine, interactive play and personal growth.

Transcript

[Tony Robbins]

Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it.

[Jen]

Hey friends. You're listening to Fitness Friday on the Habits and Hustle podcast where myself and my friends share quick and very actionable advice for you becoming your healthiest self. So stay tuned and let me know how you leveled up. Before we dive into today's episode, I want thank our sponsor Momentous. When your goal is healthspan living better and longer, there are very few non negotiables. One of them quality. And when it comes to supplements designed for high performers, nobody does it better than Momentous. Momentous goes all in on NSF certification, which means every single batch is tested for heavy metals, harmful additives and label accuracy. And that's why they're trusted by all 32 NFL teams and top collegiate sports dietitians across the country. Here's the thing. They don't sell every supplement under the sun because they believe in nailing the basics with rock solid consistency. And those basics are protein and creatine. Momentous sources Creapure, the purest form of creatine monohydrate available. An absolute must for both men and women and women who want peak physical and cognitive performance. So if you're serious about leveling up, go to livemomentous.com and use code Jen for 20% off. Just act now. Start today. Jen for 20% off livemomentous.com.

[Sal]

Sports play Working out are the three things that we have to find a way to get our kids involved in.

[Jen]

So you did listen to my TED talk. I say, I say that, I say that. Fitness huge. Team sports, huge. Anyone who's not putting their kids in team sports before between the ages of let's say 3 to to to 10 is doing a major disservice to your kid because that's where you learn all these team buildings.

[Sal]

If you are going to allow them to use the phone and iPads and tools like that, you have to at least counterbalance.

[Jen]

Counterbalance.

[Sal]

You have to. Otherwise you are almost for sure signing them up to have social anxiety, depression and all those things. If they you allow that and you don't put them in those because there's hope. If they at least get a team sport because they're going to learn. What I love about sports is you're going to fail. You're someone's going to be better than you. It's meri. You're going to have to communicate.

[Jen]

I think you just said the key thing though. Somebody's going to be better than You. This is one we have not spoken about yet, guys, which is in life, there are winners, there are losers, There are people who are average. There are people who are better than average. And guess what? You may not have great talent, but if you work your ass off, you can move yourself from a three to a seven. Right? That's where you learn these things, right? If you don't have. Instead of. And this is where parents really are screwing up their kids because they want to tell their kids, oh, you're amazing. You're the best. You're the best. Worst thing you can do by telling your kid how great they are. Worse than you can.

[Tony Robbins]

No. Praise their work.

[Jen]

Praise their work and their effort. Don't pray. Don't tell them how great they are.

[Tony Robbins]

You know why that's a problem? The reason why that's an issue is if you. This happened to me as a kid. If you constantly tell a kid, you're so smart, you're so smart, or you're so pretty or you're so great, you're so great, the second they encounter a challenge that counters that, they'll crumble. They'll flee. Yeah, this happened to me as a kid. I was always told how smart I was. You're so smart. You're so smart. You're so smart. And then I got into, oh, I.

[Jen]

Do that to you too, all the time.

[Tony Robbins]

That's okay. As an adult, you can say it all you want, say, figure this out. But then when I encountered actual challenges where I'm like, oh, I'm struggling, not gonna even try, because I don't want to destroy the image of how smart I was versus, wow. I could see you really worked hard at that.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Tony Robbins]

I could see you enjoy that.

[Jen]

Or, see, look, I say that to my daughter all the time. And, like, look, look, you put so much effort into that. You worked so hard on that. And now look at the results of this versus, like, you know, basically praising that effort versus just like, oh, you're so wonderful. Anything you do is great. Or that the coach doesn't like you. Screw him. Let's go to another team. That's what's happening. Parents are pulling their kids off of teams of sports because their kids are not getting enough playtime. The coaches are benching them, which is what. Which is happening all the time. And so basically, the parents are moving them to different teams. And where the coaches now are, like, it becomes this whole thing where coaches are so scared and fearful of losing these players, losing the money, where now, like, everybody's going to have equal amount of time to play. Equal amount of.

[Sal]

Are you familiar with how. How NIL is doing that to college sports right now? No, that's. Right now. There's this. There's this huge, like, problem in college sports with the introduction of nil, which is basically kids that can get paid now for sports.

[Jen]

Oh, yeah.

[Sal]

And because they have these options, you have scenarios where a college football team or college basketball team goes and shops all the other schools that are willing to set them up with better NIL deals, and then the whole team leaves at once. So literally, the coach comes in the next season and all of his players are looking to move out somewhere else because they've been able to shop other players. The grass is greener on the other side. Someone else is willing to pay them. Someone else is winning. And so we haven't even figured out how we're going to solve.

[Tony Robbins]

When I was asked a problem right.

[Sal]

Now, I was like, dude, I had never heard of kids transferring just to get to another school because they thought they had a better opportunity. Sorry. You live here, you go to this school and it was like this, loyalty. There's no loyalty anymore. And the coaches are having to face that.

[Jen]

No, it's terrible.

[Tony Robbins]

Well, here's what you. So this is the thing about sports that I think a lot of people don't realize because we're listing all the attributes, but really the reason why sports exist in the first place, the reason why games exist in the first place is what games are, is games are life, but boiled down to an hour or an hour and a half with specific rules. So we could play the game of life in this sport or this game, it's a microcosm. That's all it is. That's all it is. And so you're practicing life is what you're doing. And what we've done. Two things that we've done with sports that have, in my opinion, ruined it. One is everybody wins, nobody loses.

[Sal]

Which is not keeping score.

[Tony Robbins]

Because there is, because you're not. They're not learning life in that sense, because life is. Life hits you all the time. Okay. The other thing is we've. We've. On the other extreme is we've boiled sports into money. You make money. That's what's good about this. So now these kids who are getting paid aren't learning life, they're just learning it's about money.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Tony Robbins]

Which is. Which is equally terrible. So when you put your kids in sports, what you need to think about is my child is practicing the game of life for the next 45 minutes. That's all they're doing. And so if they sit on the bench, what does that show about life? Sometimes they can't participate, sometimes they can't participate. But they need to support because that's how life is. Or when they're playing and they're winning, there's lessons there too. Hey, you did a good job. Oh, your pride is building up. Let's talk about that for a second. You're not a badass like you think you are. Make sure you support your other teammates or they get their asses kicked and they loot. Great lessons. And losing because that's what life's going to show you. They learn how to work with other people. They need to learn how to work with difficult people.

[Sal]

That's it. It's all of that conflict resolution.

[Jen]

It's conflict resolution is a big one. And also it shows you who are naturally born leaders and where you have to. Where you, where you are in the slot of life.

[Tony Robbins]

Right.

[Jen]

I think it's a very teachable moment. Right. Like, I think that you can learn a lot about your own dynamic, what makes kids likable versus not likable, how you treat others, how you'll be then treated or whatever. These things are like, these are fundamental qualities that are just being completely decimated.

[Tony Robbins]

I love that you said that about leadership because what's great about that. And so you got to think about as a parent, again, think about life. Okay. For a second. I think when we think of sports, we think the automatic leader is the best player on the team. There are many teams where the worst player is the leader of the team because they're the one that pull the team forward. They're the ones like that. What's that movie Rudy, where you got that kid on the team that sucks. But everybody rallies around them because of their spirit, because they bring everybody together. So it's not about your kid being the best or the worst or in the middle. It's like it's so much more complicated. The problem with it is it seems simple. And so we relegated it to, oh, it's just you score a goal or you don't. Maybe we shouldn't have them lose because the kids cry when they lose and we don't want that type of deal. No, no, no. It is way more complex. And as long as societies existed, games have existed. And the reason why they've existed is because they're extremely, extremely valuable. So putting your kids in them is incredibly important. And then back to like challenging with your kids. We've talked about this, right? Our kids are growing up very privileged from a worldly sense, right? My kids have way more money than I did as a kid. They live in a nicer house. It's like, you know, they have to worry about a lot of things that I did. So how am I going to help them become resilient? You know what I'm going to do? Because they're still going to have challenges. They're going to get frustrated when they try to build something, it doesn't work. They're going to get upset when something happens they don't want. They're going to go play with the kid that's going, they don't like or whatever. I don't jump in. Let them feel it. Let them feel it.

[Jen]

I create this kind of Lord of the Flies type of like scenario, right?

[Tony Robbins]

That's a little far where I see yellow jackets.

[Jen]

I feel like to survive what we should do. It's the truth though, Art. We should create a Lord of the Flies scenario with our kids and the survival of the fittest, right? Like I don't jump in. Like I want my kid to. I want to see how they fend for themselves without me getting involved socially. That's with a lot of stuff. Like there's been a ton of situations recently with, with my daughter, right? Because girls can be horrid. Okay. Girls are worse than boys. Like and it starts young, right, with like social and all these other emotional, social.

[Tony Robbins]

You guys are socially, you guys are born more socially intelligent. That's why you understand social complexity. So girls do the whole like.

[Jen]

Well, girls are catty at any.

[Tony Robbins]

Well they build their alliances, build their.

[Jen]

Alliances like Lord of the Flies. I'm telling you, it's very much like Lord of the Flies. And it's so easy for especially because like you don't want to see your kid hurting. It's like horrible, right, to not jump in, right? But like the second you jump in, you're, you're, you're taking that game and you're like the game is over, right? You need to see how your kid can actually fend for themselves in that environment. With girls especially it is I, it's a dog eat dog world out there for these girls. Let's just see like, let's see how, how you survive or how you fend for yourself. So I like to just sit back and watch now as much as it kills me because I want to like tear the head off of these, some of these ten year old girls. I swear I would if I. If I wasn't going to be put in jail. But at the same time, like, that's how they build grit. Like, that's how they build toughness. That's how you really build toughness. When you really step away as a parent and say, you know what? You're doing this on your own. You're going to take care of that fight by yourself. You're going to go. If you, if you. If you want to go on that dance group, if you want to be on that soccer team, you know, like, you got to practice or you're going to be booted out. Like, put them in places where it's hard. Make them do shit that they don't want to do. Put them on teams they don't want to be on and see how they fend for themselves.

[Sal]

But that social integration piece to what you're describing, if. If there's conflict amongst the peers and the groups, they have to learn how to interact with each other and resolve it themselves. And if they get in the way of that, they will. If you stay out of the way, absolutely will.

[Jen]

And this is what I've learned from. For my observation and meeting a bazillion people I know, and I'm sure you guys, too, have maybe found the same thing. The people that had the most challenges as kids were the best adults. They were the coolest, they were the most resourceful. They were the strongest. They were the most, like, able, like, willing and abled people who had true success in life.

[Tony Robbins]

You know, you're right. The root of this, you gotta. This is important, though. The root of this is a child has to feel secure with their parent, and that's because they have a home base that they feel secure with. They could take these risks unless they.

[Jen]

Just boot them out and be like, bye, you're not coming back.

[Tony Robbins]

No. But people are like, what's that security look like? The security looks like this. I have a consistent parent there who's consistent with me. They're not sometimes gonna scream at me when I do something. They're just very consistent.

[Sal]

They're fair and honest.

[Tony Robbins]

They're fair, they're honest. They're there for me emotionally. So I'm gonna go to them and be like, oh, you know, the soccer team won't let me play. And Mom's like, that sucks. You know, I'm here for you, but mom's not gonna go talk to the coach, not gonna fix it for you, but I'm here to provide you with that security. So they feel secure with that. With that home base.

[Jen]

That's a truth. That's a very good point.

[Tony Robbins]

That is. Now I'm gonna tell. It's gonna be controversial and I'm sure people are gonna get mad at this. This is a fact, though. I'll argue this all day long. The root of what's happened with what you're labeling as woke culture or what you're labeling as like this gentle parenting or letting your kids do whatever. The root of this, because a lot of what you're talking about, play risk, challenge, figure this out, kiddo, is dad. And dad has been gone. So if you look at the data on what has happened culturally, there are a lot of fatherless homes that have existed, a lot of moms. And moms have tons of value. But what moms don't do nearly as well as dads. And the data's a fact on this. Okay, Rough and tumble play and pushing your kids a little bit to take risks. Right. Mom's the one that says, don't throw them so high in the air. That's scary. Like, oh, wait, don't let him do that thing. And dad's the one that's like, no, no, we'll push him a little bit. Let's let him go to this thing a little bit.

[Sal]

Let's.

[Tony Robbins]

And so dads have been gone, moms have been going to the games, and it's moms that are saying everybody needs to get a trophy. It's not fair that my kid is crying. It's not fair that my kid isn't playing. And I'm not blaming moms. Moms are doing the best that they can. Dad's gone. So dad needs to be involved. And it's the dads that provide what you're talking about that's lacking. So a lot of this is the non involvement of fathers. When dads are involved, you see a lot of disappearance.

[Sal]

That's an interesting.

[Jen]

That's very interesting.

[Sal]

Yeah. Because if you take like, again, this is anecdotal because my own experience, right. I think right away my two best friends, I go all the way back to their child. They would tell you that their dad couldn't do anything. And they both come from homes, parents are married, stay together forever. Mom ran everything.

[Tony Robbins]

Yeah.

[Sal]

You know, mom ran every. Dad was not. Dad didn't do. Dad worked. Dad worked all day long, did his thing. And I mean, they didn't turn out weak. They both are strong men and successful and figured it out without dad being involved. So I don't know if you can Pinpoint it to that. Because mom can do that. Mom could, potentially.

[Tony Robbins]

So here's what the data shows. Dad just being there is a million times better than dad not even being there.

[Jen]

No.

[Tony Robbins]

But what's better than that is a dad that's involved, who's consistent, who provides those things. Like rough and tumble plays a big deal. Right. So playing rough with your kids, which dads seem to do.

[Sal]

I mean, so here's. I guess. I guess the point that I'm trying to argue, because what you're gonna hear from me, and it's just because I have such a strong stance on the iPhone, been screaming it on this podcast for fucking 10 years almost now. I just think that that takes away so much.

[Tony Robbins]

You're right.

[Sal]

That all these things that you're saying isn't. You're not wrong. You're right.

[Tony Robbins]

Cause these trends were happening before the iPhone.

[Jen]

I think you're totally right.

[Sal]

So it requires that. Because otherwise, let's say you don't have a dad. I mean, obviously I didn't have the most consistent parenting stuff going on at my house and figured all this stuff out, but I played and I interacted with kids and I did sport. And so because I did all that, it filled all those gaps. And without that, I feel like.

[Tony Robbins]

Have you seen children without fathers who play organized sports and what the coach does for them?

[Jen]

Yes. Okay, first of all, this is what's interesting about. You're both right. So if we didn't have smartphones and there's so much data on this, we would be left with hours and hours a day to be bored. We would have to figure out. We would have to be like, okay, where's Bobby at? Maybe we can go for a bike ride. Where's Lucy? Maybe we can, like, climb that tree or do this painting. Because we are. Because now every time, every minute, even if we're in an elevator for 27 seconds, we're scrolling our phone because God forbid where we. We have a moment. But if we took away the phone or the smartphones and the iPads, that will leave us with all these this time to. To basically distract ourselves in a good way with actual socialization. Dating, real playing, real things in life. The other thing, what you said, Sal, about the lack of fathers is a 1 million percent. If you look at data on that as well, because the dads provide a role that a mother just simply cannot. My question to you is, where did all the dads go now beyond where they were before? Is it because they're working constantly? Are they working More. Are they just like.

[Tony Robbins]

It's still a huge fatherless problem?

[Jen]

Why? That's true. But why?

[Tony Robbins]

Well, that's a deeper question. I mean, I think marriage has been devalued. I think that they've lost their sense of community, which you need as a married couple. That was the church for a long time, and then that was.

[Sal]

You think it's more today than it was 20 years ago?

[Tony Robbins]

It's about. It's about. It's. It's maybe a little better, but it's still bad.

[Sal]

I mean, okay, so that's where my. My argument. That's why it's like. I don't think it's any different. I really. I think that here's what happens.

[Jen]

I think it's the same too.

[Sal]

I just think that your. Your point, though, that you're making. That I agree with is that because of the introduction of. That robbing those kids of so much that his role becomes paramount. It's like your mom. That's not what she gives. That's not her thing. God bless the single moms that have to try and figure both out. But that's not what her strength is. That's dad's strength. And then if he's not gonna be playing with friends, playing sports and things like that, you've got to step the fuck up or it's almost guaranteed he's going that route. I just think that that phone has robbed these kids of so much of that stuff, of life. I mean, I look at. This is something where my son. I have a very sensitive son who, like, his default is to cry when he doesn't get his way or doesn't like things. He'll start to get sad and he'll cry. And like, watching him interact with kids, he's younger than a lot of kids, so a lot of times they're stronger. They take. They dominate a little bit more. So I definitely have this kid who I'm trying to build that resiliency. And, you know, we'll let that. We'll let it unfold. But the conversations I'm having to have with him a lot are things like, Max, listen, sometimes you don't get to play what you want. Sometimes you got to play what Timmy wants.

[Tony Robbins]

You.

[Sal]

You don't always get to play what you want to do. And so either one, you play with what they want, you play and do what they want to do for a while, or you go do your own thing. But you don't cry. You don't cry because you don't get to play this way or do that that's not how you do this that's not how real so I'm having to have a lot of conversations like that because of and thank God we we foster that play and making sure he's doing that with kids and he doesn't get all this but it is I could see that if you didn't if I didn't insert myself into those conversations and teach him that lesson then he could easily become that really soft kid who just every time he doesn't get what he wants cries and defaults to.

[Tony Robbins]

That yeah the fire started with with with fatherless homes and the gasoline is social media the Internet and smartphones but it started before that and now you have a situation where we are trying to here's the problem problem is that parents you are competing with something that you're going to lose against right you give the child an opportunity to choose between a smartphone and outside smartphone is going to win.