Hacking Your ADHD – “Escaping the Doer Trap with Katy McFee”

Host: William Curb
Guest: Katy McFee, Executive Coach, Founder of Insight to Action
Release Date: February 16, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, William Curb sits down with Katy McFee to discuss the persistent "doer mentality" common among adults with ADHD—and how it can become a trap, especially as we strive for advancement in our careers or lives. Katy shares her experience rising to executive leadership with undiagnosed ADHD, the relief she found after her diagnosis, and the importance of moving from tactical doing to strategic being. The conversation is packed with actionable insights, personal anecdotes, and tools for building on ADHD strengths while letting go of energy-draining "shoulds."

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Katy’s Background and Journey with ADHD

• Katy’s Mission: Helps women become VPs and close the gender gap (02:55).
• Corporate Climb: Struggled for years with undiagnosed ADHD, got “stuck” in middle management roles.
• Late Diagnosis Impact: Only diagnosed at age 43—after leaving corporate roles. Realized much of her struggle was unrelated to competency (03:59).
• Game-Changer at Executive Level: More resources and support made work easier at VP/EVP levels, contrary to her initial fears (04:35).

2. ADHD in the Workplace: Strengths, Weaknesses, and Delegation

• Focus On Strengths:

  “Don’t focus on trying to improve your weaknesses… Figure out how to just not do those things if you possibly can.”
  — Katy McFee (05:26)

• The Guilt of Delegation: Katy recounts feeling bad about passing off tasks she hated (like expense reports), only to discover others genuinely enjoyed them (06:40, 07:10).
  • Memorable anecdote about her admin loving expense reports (07:10–08:10).
• Household Parallel: Distributing tasks by preference, not “fairness” (09:07).
• Asking for Help: Diagnosis gave Katy permission to request time for self-care and to set boundaries (09:56–10:53).

3. Perfectionism, People Pleasing, and Burnout

• Masking and Perfectionism: Social and personal expectations lead those with ADHD (especially women) to “mask” and try to outperform, which blocks growth (11:18–12:30).
• Delegation as Relief: Letting go (even if results are imperfect) is essential for wellbeing (11:43).
• Burnout Warning:

  “Trying to do everything perfectly... is just a recipe for burnout.”
  — Katy McFee (12:10)

• Need for Downtime: Both acknowledge difficulty with rest; “bias for action” can backfire (14:23–16:44).

4. Tactics for Working with ADHD, Not Against It

• Systems over Motivation: Katy uses time-blocking, team delegation, and “fake” time pressure to simulate urgency and accountability (27:03–28:25).
• Eat-the-Frog Myth:

  “There’s no way in hell I’m eating the frog… I do the opposite.”
  — Katy McFee (29:08)

• Small Starts: Tackling daunting tasks in micro-steps (slide deck example, 29:53–30:58).
• Leveraging AI: Uses AI for ideation and breaking through inertia, not for finished work (31:16–34:49).

5. Women, ADHD, and the Executive Ladder

• Barriers and Self-Doubt: The ADHD experience is compounded for women, especially in middle management (37:33–40:17).
• ‘Doer’ Trap: Advancement requires slowing down, strategic thinking, and moving away from being only an executor (39:12–40:17).
• Managerial Hell = Home Management: Middle managers often act as organizational “house managers”—a known challenge for ADHDers (40:17).

6. Permission to Build Around Your Brain

• Not Every Role Fits: It’s not always about “fixing” weaknesses—sometimes the role or context isn’t right (43:25–45:08).
• Work Shouldn’t Be Soul-Sucking:

  “It shouldn’t feel that hard… If day after day you’re grinding away, it may not be the perfect fit…”
  — Katy McFee (43:25, 45:08)

• Easy ≠ Worthless: ADHDers tend to dismiss what comes easily, but those can be real superpowers (45:27–45:44).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Delegation & Guilt:

  “What’s a crappy task to me might actually be something you love to do.”
  — Katy McFee (07:50)

• On Rest:

  “Bias for action is not my problem… I might do it hastily; I might not think things through. But taking action has just never been a thing that I struggle with.”
  — Katy McFee (15:52)

• On Executive Potential:

  “If you have ADHD and you want to have a career where you become an executive, a VP or a C-suite executive, you can absolutely do that. ADHD brains do really well in the executive suite because of our ability to make connections…”
  — Katy McFee (47:29)

• On Perfection and Burnout:

  “Part of the reason I left corporate was I did burn out… I was hanging on to everything… trying to do everything for everybody.”
  — Katy McFee (13:10)

• On Systems:

  “I do not rely on motivation… I create systems, and then I follow the rules I’ve created for myself.”
  — Katy McFee (27:03)

• On Learning Styles:

  “If it’s live, I’m more likely to go. If it’s just ‘watch the recording’, I don’t do it.”
  — Katy McFee (21:49)

Useful Timestamps

• Katy’s late ADHD diagnosis story: 02:55–04:35
• Strengths vs. weaknesses: 05:26–06:28
• Expense report anecdote: 06:40–08:10
• Delegation, shame, and perfectionism: 11:18–12:30
• Rest vs. hyperactivity: 14:23–16:44
• Masking/self-care epiphany: 09:56–10:53
• Time-blocking and “fake” time pressure: 27:03–29:08
• Eat the frog myth: 29:08
• Small wins/dopamine trick: 29:53–31:16
• AI as ideation partner: 31:16–34:49
• ADHD and executive leadership: 37:33–40:17, 47:29
• Permission to leave ill-fitting roles: 45:08–46:49

Key Takeaways & Action Steps

• Don’t waste energy trying to “fix” your weaknesses; design your work and life to maximize your strengths and delegate/outsource/automate the rest.
• If you’re stuck at a certain level (manager, director), it’s often not about effort or talent, but about the doer trap: Advancement often means switching modes from “doing” to “leading/thinking strategically.”
• Guilt around delegation can be reframed—someone may love the tasks you hate.
• ADHDers, especially women, carry extra baggage around asking for help or structuring self-care. Diagnosis and self-knowledge can lift that barrier.
• Perpetual busyness (the doer trap) is not the path to growth and can fuel chronic burnout.
• Build systems—don’t rely on motivation. Create rules, block time, and manufacture accountability to engage your strengths and mitigate weaknesses.
• It really is possible (and valuable) for ADHDers to rise to executive levels—they often bring strengths in big-picture thinking, problem-solving, and energy.
• If your work feels soul-crushing every day, it may not be you—it might be the role or the structure.

Closing Message

“I want that message out in the world because I think oftentimes we discount how great we can really be because it’s hard right now.”
— Katy McFee (47:29)

Further Resources

• Katy McFee: insighttoactioncoaching.com
• Show Notes & Transcript: hackingyouradhd.com/273