Hacking Your ADHD – "Overcoming Self-Sabotage with Dr. Judy Ho"

Podcast with William Curb
Guest: Dr. Judy Ho, Clinical & Forensic Neuropsychologist
Release Date: December 1, 2025

Episode Overview

In this practical and encouraging conversation, William Curb interviews Dr. Judy Ho about the multifaceted impact of ADHD, focusing on self-sabotage, self-esteem, and productive strategies for working with the ADHD brain. Dr. Ho shares insights from her clinical experience, research, and personal philosophy, covering topics such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), attention training, mindfulness, and the value of embracing individual neurodiversity.

Key Topics & Insights

1. Dr. Judy Ho’s ADHD Expertise (02:29–03:43)

• Triple Board Certification: Dr. Ho explains her unique qualifications across neuropsychology and clinical specialties, emphasizing the value of ongoing education and trust-building in therapeutic relationships.

  "Board certification in psychology is not mandatory. It's an optional thing ... to essentially prove your expertise and more specialty areas where that might be important." —Dr. Judy Ho (02:40)

• Draw to ADHD: She discusses her natural clinical interest in ADHD, noting how it’s misunderstood and easily masked, especially by bright individuals who may compensate for symptoms for years.

2. The Cost of ADHD Misunderstanding & Masking (03:43–06:38)

• Impact on Identity & Self-Esteem: Many individuals grow up "feeling different," internalizing negative self-beliefs (e.g., "I must be stupid") that shape major life decisions and limit fulfillment.
• Diagnostic Discrepancy: The bias toward recognizing hyperactive over inattentive symptoms in children leads to support gaps, especially for non-disruptive students.

3. Self-Talk, Self-Esteem & Relationships (06:38–11:54)

• Persistent Negative Self-Talk: ADHD comes with a risk of self-labeling as incompetent or less capable, often leading to self-fulfilling prophecies.

  "They tell themselves that they can't succeed, and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy over time." —Dr. Judy Ho (06:57)

• Relationship Misunderstandings: Partners may misinterpret inattention as lack of care.

  "I actually want to know what you said. So can you start over so I can really understand what it is that you're talking about? I think that's so great." —Dr. Judy Ho (09:02)

• Communication Strategies: Openly acknowledging moments when you aren't paying attention (rather than pretending) can improve relationships.

4. ADHD in Daily Life: Struggles with Basic Tasks (11:54–13:31)

• Task Prioritization: Executive function difficulties can make "simple" tasks (like taking out trash or remembering to eat) uniquely challenging due to mental exhaustion and overloaded priorities.

5. Self-Sabotage, Procrastination & Internalized Blame (13:31–17:09)

• Procrastination as Self-Sabotage: ADHD-related procrastination is a common form of self-sabotage, often amplified by low self-compassion and over-responsibility for failures.

  "People with ADHD are often the hardest on themselves, much harder on themselves than even people around them." —Dr. Judy Ho (15:18)

• Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria & Negative Feedback Loops: ADHD brains may become attuned to negative feedback, making emotional regulation and self-forgiveness even harder.

• Importance of Rest and Self-Care: Rest is crucial, though true relaxation may require a certain amount of stimulation for ADHD brains.

6. Mindfulness, Flow, and Practical Strategies (17:09–20:13)

• Active, Multimodal Mindfulness:

  • Activities that combine movement, senses, and focused attention (walking, mindful chores) work better than passive relaxation.
  • Entering a "flow state"—an active, slightly challenging, but enjoyable activity—is more engaging and beneficial than "vegging out."

  "State of flow is not achievable if you're just vegging out... It's more something that's active so that there's a bit of a challenge, but not so challenging." —Dr. Judy Ho (17:40)

  • Single-Tasking as Mindfulness: Doing chores or tasks mindfully (e.g., focusing on folding towels) enhances satisfaction and focus.

7. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy & Attention Training (20:15–24:28)

• CBT for ADHD: Practical, present-focused skills training. Techniques target current challenges, not just childhood roots.

• Attention Training Exercise (21:52):

  • Pick a task, set a 15-minute timer, remove distractions.
  • Use a notepad to "capture" intrusive thoughts—jot down and return to task.
  • Increase the duration gradually week by week.
  • Over time, intrusive, irrelevant thoughts decrease and focus improves.

  "Your attention is actually a trainable skill." —Dr. Judy Ho (21:38)
  "If you just start with one task a day for 10, 15 minutes... that's how you can strengthen your attention muscle." —Dr. Judy Ho (22:44)

• Tips for Setting Up Focus Time: Prepare in advance to minimize excuses for mid-task distractions (food, water, restroom, environmental triggers).

8. Modern Attention Challenges & Environmental Support (24:28–26:44)

• Technology & Distraction: Phones, emails, and home environments make attention harder for everyone, but especially for ADHDers.

  • Changing environments (e.g., working in a coffee shop) can minimize distractions.

• Reading in a Tech Age: Removing "easy outs" promotes deeper focus (e.g., reading on a plane).

9. Boredom, Hyperfocus, and ADHD "Superpowers" (26:44–28:04)

• Resilience to Boredom: ADHDers get "unbored real quick"—creativity in finding engagement.
• Hyperfocus: A powerful but double-edged trait; great for productivity, but can lead to burnout.

  "One of the superpowers also of ADHD is hyper focus... sometimes that can be utilized for like, great good, rather than taking you away and distracting you." —Dr. Judy Ho (27:10) "I don't know if I'll really work on something and I'll come out the other side. I'm like, no, I'm not doing anything for a week." —William Curb (27:46)

10. Final Thoughts: Working With, Not Against, Your Brain (28:04–29:18)

• Embrace Neurodiversity: Focus on finding individualized "hacks" and strategies.

• Experimentation: Not all strategies will work for everyone; it's about building your own toolbox.

  "Everybody's going to find their own unique toolkit. And even people without ADHD are going to encounter those kinds of challenges from time to time." —Dr. Judy Ho (28:56)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Masking ADHD:
  "Sometimes when individuals are pretty bright, they can hide that for a really long time. So they don’t even show the outside world how much they're actually struggling on the inside." —Dr. Judy Ho (04:14)

• On Hyperfocus:
  "I feel like that is a superpower because... it's almost like they don't get tired, they just keep going." —Dr. Judy Ho (27:10)

• On Practical Mindfulness:
  "My form of mindfulness is actually being active... walking mindfulness... doing an activity singular mindedly." —Dr. Judy Ho (18:42)

• On Building Your Toolkit:
  "You try them on for size and if they don't work, that's okay. Everybody's going to find their own unique toolkit." —Dr. Judy Ho (28:56)

Key Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Topic | |---------|-------| | 02:29–03:43 | Dr. Ho’s credentials & ADHD clinical focus | | 03:43–06:38 | ADHD’s impact on self-esteem and diagnosis challenges | | 06:38–11:54 | Internal monologue, masking, and relationship difficulties | | 13:31–17:09 | Self-sabotage, procrastination, RSD, and self-care needs | | 17:09–20:13 | Mindfulness, flow state, and active engagement | | 20:15–24:28 | CBT, attention training strategies, and practical tips | | 24:28–26:44 | Environmental distractions and mitigating them | | 26:44–28:04 | Boredom, hyperfocus, and reframing ADHD traits | | 28:04–29:18 | Embracing neurodiversity and individualized solutions |

Actionable Takeaways

1. Train your attention: Use focused, time-limited sessions with distractions minimized and a "thought capture" system to build focus.
2. Try active, multimodal mindfulness: Combine movement, senses, and presence in daily activities rather than relying on passive relaxation.
3. Question procrastination: When stuck, explore if underlying needs or beliefs are causing avoidance. Non-judgmental self-inquiry can provide breakthrough.
4. Customize your strategies: Don’t be discouraged if popular tips don’t work immediately; ADHD brains are diverse.
5. Lean into strengths: Use hyperfocus and creativity when possible, but balance with rest to avoid burnout.
6. Communicate openly: In relationships, admit focus lapses and ask for information to be repeated, framing as a desire to genuinely listen.

Resources & Links

• Dr. Judy Ho:

  • Social: @drjudyho
  • Website: drjudyho.com (for free resources & newsletter)

• Show Notes & Transcript: hackingyouradhd.com/197

Closing Encouragement

Dr. Ho sums up the message of the episode with optimism:

"There's so many benefits of [ADHD] too, and it's really learning to work with the way that your brain works... find essentially the hacks that really work for [you]... to achieve all the things that [you] want." (28:10)

Episode packed with compassion, practical strategies, and reminders that embracing your unique brain is the foundation of thriving with ADHD.