Hacking Your ADHD: “Quitting Isn't Failing”

Host: William Curb
Date: January 20, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode of Hacking Your ADHD, William Curb explores the idea that quitting isn’t the same thing as failing, especially for people with ADHD. With the New Year in full swing and resolutions on many people’s minds, William challenges the stigma around giving up on goals that don’t serve us. He reframes quitting as a process of becoming more selective and intentional, emphasizing sustainability and personal alignment over sheer perseverance.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Reframing Language: From “Picky” to “Selective”

• William opens with a reflection on the semantics of “picky” versus “selective,” relating it to both food preferences and goal-setting (01:00).
• Quote: “I know it’s semantics, but I often find semantics are important because if we’re reframing the idea … it gives a lot more power to the idea that what we’re doing is making choices.” (William, 01:20)

You Can Do Anything, But Not Everything

• A recurring theme is the phrase: “You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.”
• William discusses how ADHD brains can be pulled in many directions and how ambition can lead to overwhelm and burnout (03:15).
• Quote: “While this isn’t always a bad thing, it means there are tons of things we’re interested in and that we often have a ton of options.” (William, 03:30)

The Guilt and Pressure Around Quitting

• William highlights the societal messaging that vilifies quitting, and how this can create internal pressure to persist even when something doesn’t fit.
• He shares his own tendency to have “secret second goals,” acknowledging the difficulty in letting go and the fear of failure (04:50).
• Quote: “If I can’t follow through on this second focus, it doesn’t mean I’m failing, because that’s really the problem.” (William, 04:40)

Recognizing the Right Time to Quit

• William validates the experience of wanting to quit, explaining that there are plenty of times when quitting is the right answer (07:05).
• Personal example: He quit a previous podcast about Ultimate Frisbee, which made space for Hacking Your ADHD.
• Quote: “There are plenty of things in life that are worth quitting just because they aren’t what we actually want.” (William, 07:40)   

The Nuance of Quitting: Why Do You Want to Stop?

• Quitting can be the right choice, but it’s important to examine both why you started something and why you want to quit it (08:20).
• Not all quitting is avoidance; sometimes it’s about outgrowing a goal or realizing a misalignment.
• Quote: “Sometimes when we want to quit, it’s just because we’re in a hard part. And that’s often when we shouldn’t quit. … A lot of great things require hard parts.” (William, 08:50)

Make Things Easier, Not Harder

• William encourages listeners to look for sustainable paths. Trying to do things “the hard way” isn’t necessary for success.
• Suggests adjusting goals, seeking accountability, or breaking tasks into smaller steps (10:15).
• Quote: “If you’re thinking about quitting something you really want because you’re in a hard part, well, what’s making it so hard? And is there a way you could make it easier?” (William, 10:15)

The Power of Iteration

• Goal setting is an iterative process: sometimes we move forward, sometimes back, and sometimes sideways (10:50).
• William emphasizes finding what works for you, not what seems to work for others.
• Quote: “What we have to remember is that everything we’re doing is an iterative process, meaning that we make progress through repeated cycles of improvement, refinement, and adjustment.” (William, 10:55)

Checking Your Motivation: Do You Really Want This?

• The idea that “you just have to want it more” is critiqued as oversimplified and unhelpful.
• William describes goals he’s pursued due to external expectations rather than genuine desire (12:05).
• Quote: “Other times it comes from building up an image in your mind of what the thing is and realizing, maybe actually it isn’t for you.” (William, 12:20)

Aligning Priorities and Realigning Goals

• Returning to the core idea: quitting can be a necessary step in realignment.
• Quote: “Quitting your New Year’s resolution, or really any goal for that matter, that isn’t working for you isn’t the end of the road. It’s a chance to realign, refocus, and redirect your energy toward what you actually want.” (William, 13:00)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On reframing effort:
  “Let’s stop treating quitting like it’s a dirty word. It’s not about giving up. It’s about letting go of what’s holding you back so you can move forward and do those things that you really want to do.” (13:30)

• On comparing yourself to others:
  “Remember, it’s okay if what’s working for someone else isn’t working for you. You need to find the things that work best for your brain, not the things that seem like they should work.” (11:05)

Top Three Tips (from the Episode Recap) (13:10)

1. You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.
    “If something feels draining, unaligned, or no longer serves you, it’s okay to move on and find the things that do align with you.”

2. Reframe quitting as a positive step.
    “We’re redirecting our energy toward something more meaningful and prioritizing those things that we really want.”

3. Focus on sustainability.
    “If a goal feels overwhelming, reassess and try to find a more manageable way to approach it.”

Episode Flow & Major Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:00 | Introduction & semantics: “picky” vs. “selective”; setting intentional goals | | 03:00 | “You can do anything, but not everything”; ADHD ambition and overwhelm | | 07:00 | Challenging the stigma of quitting; personal podcast example | | 08:20 | Analyzing reasons for quitting; understanding hard parts versus misalignment | | 10:15 | Practical reframes: making things easier, seeking support, breaking goals into steps | | 12:05 | External pressures, comparing yourself to others, and genuine priorities | | 13:00 | Final thoughts: quitting as intentional realignment; recap of actionable tips |

Tone and Delivery

William Curb maintains a thoughtful, supportive, and encouraging tone throughout. He combines personal anecdotes, practical guidance, and humor (see: “picky/selective” eater semantics) to normalize the struggles ADHDers might have with goal-setting and give permission to thoughtfully let go of unattainable or misaligned goals.

In sum:
This episode is a permission slip to put yourself and your needs first, especially in a culture that glorifies grit at any cost. William Curb reframes quitting from a source of shame to a smart, intentional choice that can bring you closer to what truly matters.