Hacking Your ADHD

Episode Title: Rethinking Resilience with Alex Bellittier: Burnout, Rest & the ADHD Brain
Host: William Curb
Guest: Alex Bellittier, Senior Manager of Coaching at Shimmer
Release Date: October 20, 2025

Episode Overview

This insightful episode dives deep into how resilience, burnout, rest, and self-acceptance interplay for people with ADHD. Host William Curb and guest Alex Bellittier (Senior Manager of Coaching at Shimmer, a leading ADHD coaching platform) challenge the grind-and-hustle mentality, redefine resilience, and explore why rest, play, and flexibility are crucial—not optional—for ADHD brains. They unravel the cycles of burnout and the stigma around support tools, and offer strategies for building genuine well-being and sustainable productivity.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What is Shimmer Coaching?

[04:05 – 06:12]

• Alex introduces Shimmer: “So Shimmer is an ADHD management platform... The bread and butter of what we do is expert ADHD coaching where you get to work one-on-one with an ADHD coach who helps you achieve your goals...” (Alex Bellittier, 04:05)
• Shimmer also offers co-working (body doubling), expert events, workshops, and a learning hub.
• Technology is used to help users keep goals and actions top-of-mind between sessions.

2. ADHD Motivation Myths: Discipline vs. Structure

[06:12 – 08:19]

• ADHDers are often unfairly labeled as “lazy” or “undisciplined,” but the issue is not motivation—it's working with the brain's wiring.
  • "I’ve never seen someone that wasn’t motivated to make a change. ...Discipline is one of the words we hear all the time and it’s not a matter of discipline." (Alex Bellittier, 07:08)
• ADHDers deeply care and want change, but executive function gaps interfere.

3. Grind Culture, Productivity, and Burnout

[08:19 – 10:56]

• Societal messages push a “grind harder” mentality, which is unsustainable and harmful for ADHD brains.
  • "To be successful you have to be hyper productive… It gets easy to lean into: 'I am not enough.' And that’s not the case." (Alex Bellittier, 08:19)
• Alex compares emotional resilience to gym training—overtraining leads to injury, just as chronic overexertion leads to emotional burnout.

4. Redefining Rest: Rest is Essential, Not Earned

[10:56 – 13:35]

• “Rest is productive” is a tough message for many, but crucial for well-being.
  • “We have to be kind to ourselves, otherwise we hit the wall.” (Alex Bellittier, 11:01)
• Restful activities replenish energy and fuel later productivity (e.g., board game nights bring joy and renewed motivation despite less sleep).

5. Calendar Strategies: The Value of White Space and Flexibility

[13:35 – 15:12]

• Scheduling joy and leaving “white space” (unscheduled blocks) are keys for ADHDers.
  • “Blank means good. It means rest. It means fun things you didn’t plan for.” (Alex Bellittier, 12:55)
• Flexibility means intentionally choosing what fits your current capacity, not adhering rigidly to the plan.

6. Understanding Capacity, Time Blindness, and Future Self

[15:12 – 17:55]

• ADHDers often overestimate future energy or underestimate how long tasks take.
  • “...With ADHD, it can happen in two different ways: overestimating energy for things we like, and underestimating capacity for things we don’t.” (Alex Bellittier, 15:38)
• Chore menus and timing tasks can reveal that many small jobs take far less than expected.

7. ADHD Inertia: Getting Started is Hard, But Momentum Matters

[17:55 – 20:01]

• “ADHD inertia” describes difficulty starting or stopping tasks.
  • “If we can just break that first step, even if it’s the smallest step… with ADHD inertia, you just keep going.” (Alex Bellittier, 18:06)
• Environmental cues (like putting on shoes) can help maintain momentum or signal transition into rest.

8. Environmental & Structural Supports: Legitimate Scaffolding

[20:51 – 23:04]

• Using alarms, reminders, or app blockers is not “cheating”—it’s principled scaffolding.
  • “Those are all forms of scaffolding that help with resilience... you set those up. You helped yourself be resilient.” (Alex Bellittier, 21:16)

9. Coaching vs. Therapy: Knowing Where to Start

[23:12 – 26:52]

• Coaching is for forward-looking change (goals, systems, habits), while therapy is for healing trauma or processing past issues.
  • “If you’re working towards a better future… and don’t know the steps, coaching is really going to help you.” (Alex Bellittier, 23:31)
• You don’t need to have goals fully figured out before starting coaching—a good coach helps clarify them.

10. What Is Burnout? The Maslach & Kemp Models

[27:26 – 30:35]

• Burnout, originally studied in workplace contexts, has three parts: exhaustion, cynicism (detachment), and reduced sense of competence.
• Neurodivergent burnout (per Jennifer Kemp) adds the toll of masking, heightened social/emotional demands, and sensory challenges.
  • “When you are neurodivergent, there’s more social and emotional demands... that’s another added demand.” (Alex Bellittier, 28:10)

11. Breaking the Burnout Cycle: Small Steps and Systemic Change

[30:35 – 35:28]

• First steps to recovery are always hard, especially if the environment is unsupportive.
  • “Is there any alternative to what I’m doing right now, even if it’s only going to work for a day?” (Alex Bellittier, 32:33)
• Burnout frequently requires structural/systemic changes—not just vacations or breaks.

12. Rediscovering (and Valuing) Unique Strengths

[35:28 – 42:13]

• Neurodivergent brains are not underdeveloped or lesser—they’re different, with distinct advantages.
  • “The way you’re approaching something with ADHD in a way that works for you is just as valid.” (Alex Bellittier, 36:35)
• ADHDers often can’t see their own strengths because they discount what comes naturally.
  • “Most people don’t come to coaching knowing their strengths... I thought fast typing was all I had to offer.” (Alex Bellittier, 39:43)
• Reflecting on what others ask you for help with can reveal hidden talents.

13. Encouragement & Final Thoughts

[42:23 – 43:07]

• Alex’s advice to listeners: “Continue being curious about your own experience. Get curious about the words you hear, what does that mean, who else is talking about it? That’s really how you create your own approach to ADHD management.” (Alex Bellittier, 42:29)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Discipline is one of the words that we hear all the time and it’s not a matter of discipline.”
  — Alex Bellittier, 07:08

• “Resilience isn’t about powering through. If we did that at the gym, we’d tear muscles and never want to go back—we do the same thing emotionally to ourselves.”
  — Alex Bellittier, 08:53

• “White space is healthy... Blank means good, it means rest. It means fun things you didn’t plan for.”
  — Alex Bellittier, 12:55

• “ADHD inertia... once I get going, I can’t stop. But once I stop, I’m at rest for an extended period of time.”
  — Alex Bellittier, 18:06

• “When we use tools, we’re not cheating the system by building one that works for us.”
  — William Curb, 23:01

• “You don’t have to know yet. If someone asks you, ‘What are your strengths?’ and you feel like a deer in headlights… That’s okay. A coach can help you find them.”
  — Alex Bellittier, 40:47

Important Segment Timestamps

• [04:05] — Introduction to Alex and her role at Shimmer
• [07:08] — Motivation vs. Discipline in ADHD
• [08:53] — Gym metaphor for resilience
• [11:01] — “Rest is productive”
• [12:55] — The value of “white space” on your calendar
• [15:12] — Managing energy and capacity
• [18:06] — ADHD inertia explained
• [21:16] — Viewing scaffolding and supports as strengths, not crutches
• [23:31] — When to choose coaching vs. therapy
• [27:26] — The different kinds of burnout
• [36:35] — Embracing a strengths-based ADHD narrative
• [40:47] — Not knowing your strengths is normal; discovery is part of the journey
• [42:29] — Alex’s final advice to keep exploring and finding your own path

Summary Takeaways

• The grind-it-out approach is a formula for burnout, not success—especially for ADHDers.
• Resilience means flexibility, capacity awareness, and building rest and play into your life.
• Burnout for neurodivergent brains is compounded by masking and additional sensory/emotional pressures.
• External supports aren’t crutches—they’re valid and necessary scaffolding for growth.
• Don’t judge your value solely by productivity—joy provides energy and is productive in itself.
• Coaching can help even if you don’t know your goals or strengths; discovery and experimentation are part of the process.
• Don’t compare your path to others—find what works for your brain, and value your strengths, even if you take them for granted.

For more resources:

• Explore Jennifer Kemp’s work on neurodivergent burnout.
• Check out Shimmer ADHD Coaching at Shimmer Care.
• For show notes: Hacking Your ADHD - Episode 215

Host sign-off:
“Keep on listening to find out how to stop using exhaustion as a warning light and actually start making space for yourself.”
— William Curb, 03:37

This summary captures the spirit, language, and practical takeaways of the episode for listeners seeking strategies and validation on their ADHD journey.