Hacking Your ADHD

Episode: Simple Isn’t Easy: ADHD Advice You’ll Actually Use
Host: William Curb
Guest: Dr. Ari Tuckman
Date: June 30, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, William Curb welcomes Dr. Ari Tuckman—a prominent psychologist, ADHD expert, and author of the new ADHD Productivity Manual—for a frank, compassionate conversation about what truly helps people with ADHD to be productive. Together, they explore why traditional advice often falls flat, the complicated emotional landscape of ADHD (including shame and self-compassion), and the difference between “simple” and “easy.” The episode is full of practical, nuanced tips and encouragement for listeners to tailor productivity strategies to their own brains and lives.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Is Productivity So Challenging with ADHD?

• Understanding the Root Problem ([03:19])

  • Dr. Ari notes that properly defining the ADHD-related problem is vital:

    “A problem well defined is a problem half solved, right?”

  • Challenges for ADHDers include distractibility, forgetfulness, trouble with starting tasks without deadlines, and overthinking small details.
  • Diagnosis helps “shorten the list” of what works and what doesn’t.

• It’s Not Just You—Task Complexity ([08:54])

  • Ari explains productivity isn’t hard just because of ADHD—it’s genuinely complicated, with many interconnected steps that can easily go wrong.
  • Shame and self-criticism are common but unhelpful. Being unable to do “simple” things isn’t about intelligence or willpower.

2. The Art of Effective Reminders ([06:06])

• The oft-given advice to “set a reminder” can feel unhelpful unless reminders are well-timed and context-specific.
  • Example: Setting your reminder too close to the start time (e.g., letting a 30-minute drive trigger a 30-minutes-before alarm) can be unhelpful.
• Including practical details like location, time to leave, preparation steps is crucial.
• Real-world story: A client arrives on time at the wrong doctor’s office because the actual location wasn’t in the reminder ([08:00]).

3. Simple Isn’t Easy ([09:21])

• William and Ari discuss how “simple” tasks (doing dishes, sorting papers) can be extremely hard to execute.

  “Knowing the Alphabet is simple... But it’s not easy.” (Ari, [09:51])

• Confusing “should be simple” with “should be easy” can lead to unnecessary shame.

4. Shame, Compassion, and Emotional Flooding ([10:30])

• Emotional fallout from past mistakes can spill over into current efforts, making tasks even harder.

  “That’s the flood that washes you away.” (Ari, [10:53])

• Handling shame compassionately is an essential, often neglected part of building better habits.

5. Building a Personalized Productivity Approach

• Ari’s book features 36 areas where people with ADHD get stuck, from to-do lists to social negotiation and mindset shifts ([11:24]).
• Recommendations range from sleep and exercise to negotiating needs with others.

6. Communicating Your Needs Assertively ([13:03])

• Use of unconventional tools is valid if they work for you—even if others don’t “get it.”
  • Ari’s advice:

    “Don’t come from a position of weakness... you’re informing them. Because if you get too kind of psyched out and weird about it, that’s going to evoke something from the other person...” ([13:42])

• Distinction between explanation and excuse: Owning your ADHD-related challenges while respecting others’ needs ([17:59]).

7. Self-Compassion and Grace ([19:08])

• Mistakes happen (e.g., showing up at the wrong airport or making minor reservation errors). Self-berating doesn’t help fix them.

8. Navigating Burnout and Overcommitment ([29:19])

• Recognize personal limits—decide what “good enough” means for you.

  “How good is good enough and who decides?” (Ari, [29:19])

• Sometimes, “just do less” is the most productive and healthy choice.

9. Spend Your “Gold” on What Matters ([32:08])

• Make sure your best hours go to tasks that actually move your life forward.

  “Don’t spend gold on garbage.” (Ari, [32:28])

• Don’t let things of value—like friendships or self-care—be relegated to your least functional times.

10. Redefining Productivity ([34:17])

• Move away from checking boxes for their own sake.

  “Is this really a thing I want to do?...Is it really worthwhile?” (Ari, [34:42])

• Avoid “meta-productivity” traps (like endless “productivity tool” fiddling) that don’t produce real change ([36:00]).

  “It’s like spending all your time sharpening the chisel and not actually doing any woodworking.” (Ari, [36:18])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Defining the Problem:

  “A problem well defined is a problem half solved, right?”
  (Dr. Ari Tuckman, [03:19])

• Simple Isn’t Easy:

  “Knowing the Alphabet is simple... But it’s not easy.”
  (Dr. Ari Tuckman, [09:51])

• On Shame and Flooding:

  “That’s the flood that washes you away.”
  (Dr. Ari Tuckman, [10:53])

• Asserting Your Needs:

  “Don’t come from a position of weakness... you’re informing them.”
  (Dr. Ari Tuckman, [13:42])

• On Excuses vs. Explanations:

  “Other people shouldn’t be working harder on your ADHD than you are.”
  (Dr. Ari Tuckman, [18:13])

• On Spending Your “Gold”:

  “Don’t spend gold on garbage.”
  (Dr. Ari Tuckman, [32:28])

• Redefining Productivity:

  “Is this really a thing I want to do?...Is it really worthwhile?”
  (Dr. Ari Tuckman, [34:42])

• Meta-productivity Warning:

  “It’s like spending all your time sharpening the chisel and not actually doing any woodworking.”
  (Dr. Ari Tuckman, [36:18])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:19] – Why ADHD makes productivity harder; importance of specific problem definition.
• [06:06] – The art of setting reminders that actually help.
• [09:21] – The difference between simple and easy; how shame arises from this.
• [10:30] – ADHD, shame, and emotional flooding.
• [11:24] – Building skills and Dr. Tuckman’s book overview.
• [13:03] – Using and explaining unconventional strategies assertively.
• [18:13] – The line between excuse and explanation in relationships.
• [29:19] – Deciding what’s “good enough” and learning to do less.
• [32:28] – “Don’t spend gold on garbage”—prioritizing meaningful work.
• [36:18] – “Sharpening the chisel”—the risk of unproductive productivity habits.
• [39:11] – Final thoughts from Dr. Tuckman: Productivity is complicated—step back and ask “what’s really going on?”

Tone & Style

The conversation is personable, collaborative, and grounded in real ADHD experience. Dr. Tuckman and William use humor, vivid examples, and a direct, empathetic approach to challenge harmful productivity myths and encourage listeners to find what really works for them, not just what “should” work.

Actionable Tips from the Episode

1. Reminders Matter—Include Context!

   • Add details like addresses and prep steps directly to your calendar events.

2. Distinguish Between Simple and Easy

   • Don’t feel shame over “easy” things being difficult; they’re often not as easy as they seem.

3. Guard Your Best Energy

   • Reserve prime focus for important tasks; don’t waste it on trivial or low-impact work.

4. Communicate Clearly, Assertively

   • Explain your tools and needs straightforwardly; don’t apologize for what works for you.

5. Recognize and Respect Your Limits

   • Sometimes, productivity means intentionally doing less and letting go of “shoulds.”

6. Don’t Get Stuck in Meta-Productivity

   • Organize and plan, but don’t let tool-tweaking become the work itself.

Concluding Thoughts

Dr. Tuckman’s central message:

“Productivity is complicated... cut yourself some slack when you get stuck... pull back a bit and [ask], 'what is going on here?' If this should be working and it isn’t, then why isn’t it?” ([38:22])

The episode closes with encouragement to approach ADHD productivity with curiosity, non-judgment, and willingness to adapt—because “simple” solutions aren’t always easy, and real progress comes from understanding your own needs, limits, and strengths.

For more episodes, tools, and Dr. Tuckman's book:

• hackingyouradhd.com
• The ADHD Productivity Manual by Dr. Ari Tuckman