Hacking Your ADHD – Episode Summary
Podcast: Hacking Your ADHD
Episode: The ADHD Guide to Motivation and Follow-Through with Russ Jones (Part 2)
Host: William Curb
Guest: Russ Jones (Host of ADHD Big Brother)
Date: March 10, 2025
Episode Overview
In this episode, William Curb continues his discussion with Russ Jones, delving deep into strategies for motivation, follow-through, and practical hacks to help those with ADHD get unstuck. The conversation explores why traditional approaches to goal setting often fail ADHDers, how community and accountability amplify success, and actionable techniques for managing executive dysfunction. Russ and William share personal stories, habits, and humorous moments, creating an encouraging and relatable conversation for listeners struggling with motivation and consistency.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Reality of ADHD Goal Forgetfulness
- Expectation vs. Reality: Both William and Russ reflect on how easy it is for people with ADHD to forget even personally meaningful goals, highlighting the fallacy of assuming an idea will “stick forever.”
- Externalize Your Goals: Relying on reminders and external systems is key.
"How do I think that I'm going to keep something in my head for a year and not forget it for a month, for a week?" – William Curb [02:31]
2. Accountability as a Game-Changer
- Sharing goals with others introduces external pressure and reminders, which can boost follow-through (even if it’s anxiety-inducing).
- Russ calls these “hope surrogates” – people who believe in you and keep your intentions alive.
- William and Russ swap stories about accidental accountability when friends circle back on ideas previously shared.
3. Black-and-White Boundaries vs. Moderation
- While black-and-white thinking is often deemed a cognitive distortion, Russ explains that setting clear, non-negotiable boundaries is sometimes the most effective strategy for ADHD brains, especially around addictive behaviors.
"Some people out there in the world can do that stuff. They can moderate. And to just know myself and be like, oh, that's just not who I am. Okay, so let me set up some black and white boundaries instead of being like, well, let's work in the gray here. Like, there's no gray." – Russ Jones [05:41]
4. Managing Distractions with Custom Digital Environments
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William shares his usage of strict digital blockers (the Freedom app) to prevent access to distracting sites like Reddit and to purposefully keep his phone app-free, especially from email and social media.
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The conversation demonstrates how intentional friction (making distractions harder to access) can lead to greater productivity and mindful use of technology.
"Right now I have Reddit blocked 23 hours and 59 minutes a day." – William Curb [08:19]
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This habit inspires Russ to suggest a community challenge: a 30-day "no email on your phone" experiment.
5. Gamification & Community: Making Change Fun (and Less Lonely)
- Russ emphasizes the value of making personal development challenges into social or gamified experiences, increasing accountability and enjoyment.
- Examples include “no email” challenges and group support for tackling difficult habits.
"It's by gamifying it a bit. Like I'm literally talking to you on a personal level. Like, I think I'm going to do that and it scares the crap out of me." – Russ Jones [10:15]
6. Tweaking Your Environment: Out of Sight, Out of Mind
- Physical cues are crucial; keeping temptations out of sight and desired habits visible can shape behavior without relying on willpower.
- William illustrates how putting away game consoles and keeping books visible changes what he gravitates toward when bored.
"If I want to be like, oh, I want to read more, I'm going to just bring my Kindle with me and set it on my desk." – William Curb [13:56]
7. The Essential Role of Support & Connection
- Both hosts share personal stories (the Polar Plunge, weekly walks) underscoring the power of doing hard things together and how social connection can provide motivation where solo effort fails.
Memorable Quote
"Hills are never as steep when you walk them with a friend. That's exactly the point of community." – Russ Jones [15:44]
8. Depression, Inertia, and the Power of “Hope Surrogates”
- The conversation turns candid and empathetic around handling depression, which frequently co-occurs with ADHD.
- Russ introduces the concept of a "core four"—four people you can always call when things are hardest, who hold belief for you when you can't.
"Sometimes we need people to believe in us when we don't believe in ourselves, to hold our hope for us." – Russ Jones [21:25]
9. Understand Your Real Limits (and Meet Yourself with Compassion)
- The hosts discuss how, while strategizing, you must be honest about what you can actually do in a low-energy state, not just what you should do (e.g., jogging for depression is great advice in theory, but possibly unreachable in the moment).
10. Journaling, Self-Talk, and Managing Rumination
- Writing down recurring negative thoughts can bring objectivity and perspective, making it easier to see distortions and choose more realistic, supportive self-talk.
"When it's in my head, that's fine. When I write it down, I'm like, that's not something I would say to someone else." – William Curb [26:13]
11. Celebrate Wins & Handle Negativity Bias
- Tools like “ta-da” lists and recording wins are extra important, as ADHD brains naturally fixate on failures due to negativity bias.
- The brain’s negativity bias is a survival function, but can sabotage motivation and self-worth unless actively countered.
"The brain is like the world's greatest lawyer, and it has all the data on why you are a piece of shit." – Russ Jones [28:40]
12. Community as the Missing Pillar
- Russ’s parting advice: If you’re struggling to sustain progress, connect with a community. It’s the “nest” that lets you build skills and confidence, return when needed, and eventually support others.
"I can't stress enough how much I believe that community is the thing that's missing in a lot of people with ADHD's lives...build up your wings, and then fly and then try to do it on your own." – Russ Jones [32:16]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | | --- | --- | --- | | 02:31 | "How do I think that I'm going to keep something in my head for a year and not forget it for a month, for a week?” | William Curb | | 05:41 | "Let me set up some black and white boundaries...there’s no gray." | Russ Jones | | 08:19 | "Right now I have Reddit blocked 23 hours and 59 minutes a day." | William Curb | | 10:15 | "I'm going to create a 30 day, no email on my phone challenge. Let's go. Who wants to play with me?" | Russ Jones | | 15:44 | "Hills are never as steep when you walk them with a friend. That's exactly the point of community." | Russ Jones | | 21:25 | "Sometimes we need people to believe in us when we don't believe in ourselves, to hold our hope for us." | Russ Jones | | 28:40 | "The brain is like the world's greatest lawyer and it has all the data on why you are a piece of shit." | Russ Jones |
Important Timestamps & Segments
- [02:00-05:00] – Goal Forgetfulness and the Need for External Reminders
- [07:00-10:00] – Digital Boundaries: Blocking Distractions & Removing Email
- [10:00-13:00] – Gamifying Habits & Forming Challenges
- [13:00-15:00] – Behavior Shaping via Environmental Tweaks
- [15:00-18:00] – Social Support: Why Accountability Works
- [19:00-22:00] – Navigating Connection & Depression with Compassion and Core Support
- [25:00-28:00] – Reframing Negative Thoughts, Journaling, and Task-based Affirmations
Tone & Style Highlights
- Conversational, candid, and humorous
- Self-compassion and mutual understanding for the ADHD experience
- Non-judgmental, with a focus on what actually works
- Blend of practical “hacks” and deep, empathetic reflection
Episode Takeaways
- Don’t go it alone: Leverage community for accountability, support, and encouragement.
- Black-and-white rules can be tools: For some ADHDers, clear “none” or “always” boundaries work better than moderation.
- Change your environment, change your behavior: Make habits you want easy and tempting ones hard to access.
- Celebrate wins: Your brain might only highlight setbacks, so build systems for positive reinforcement.
- Accept your brain’s wiring: Recognize how ADHD, depression, and negativity bias affect you, and work with those tendencies instead of fighting them solo.
For Listeners: Action Steps
- Try removing one distraction (like email or social media) from your phone for a few days and note the effect.
- Find (or build) a supportive group to tackle hard tasks or accountability challenges together.
- When forming new routines, experiment with black-and-white rules and see if they improve follow-through.
- Write down negative self-talk occasionally to see it from an outside perspective.
- Remember: having “hope surrogates”—people who root for you when you can’t—is not weakness, it’s essential.
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