Handsome Podcast

Episode: Abbi Jacobson Asks About Personal Style
Date: August 19, 2025
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Guest Questioner: Abbi Jacobson
Podcast Network: Headgum

Main Theme

This episode revolves around personal style: what it means, if and how each host has found theirs, how it evolves, and how confidence intersects with how we dress. Brought to the fore by a question from comedian/creator Abbi Jacobson, the conversation is as much about self-perception as it is about clothing, spiraling out into stories about vacations, awkward meals, animal encounters, and the often hilarious realities of queer fashion.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life & Adventures Before the Style Question (02:00–39:03)

Mae’s Meditative Woodland Retreat

• Mae is on a solo trip at Lake Arrowhead, packing "multiple suitcases, paints, instruments, cameras... fake mustache, facial products, weights" (03:00–03:23).
  • They reflect on craving this experience:

    “It's been so long since I cooked three meals a day for myself and did the dishes after and read a book and went to bed. I'm like, oh, my God, I get why people do this.” (03:57)

• “I thought everyone… shaved their calves but not their thighs” Mae reveals, discussing unexpected and unique personal grooming habits amongst the group. (05:47–06:26)
• Mae admits to making a “bleak” hot dog meal—“one plain hot dog and one chip and two pickles”—to the amusement of all (07:14–07:22).

Fortune’s Trip to Iceland

• Fortune shares details of her “healing” trip to Iceland with best friend Andrea (11:07–17:19):
  • Praises the sturdy women, food, lesbian-owned restaurants.
  • Discovers the travel company “Pink Iceland”: “They also put on weddings for people … from different countries where it’s not okay to… be gay… The company is two lesbians and a gay man who run it. They have the biggest hearts.” (15:32)
  • Saw the Northern Lights:

    “To the naked eye it's kind of hard to see them... When you take a picture, it's so obvious it's the northern lights. … We've had friends visit for years and never seen them.” (16:34–17:03)

• Hot tub culture and geothermal spas; both Fortune and Tig express their love for spending hours in hot tubs. "I could sit alone in a hot tub for four hours and just stare off and think and do nothing." – Tig (23:32)

Tig’s Family Time in New York and a Tribute

• Tig is traveling with family in New York, attending a Yankees game where her twin sons have the “best day of their lives,” getting field access and custom vegan meals (24:30–25:19).
• Reflects emotionally on Andrea Gibson’s memorial in Denver, the Mercury Cafe’s role in the creative community, and how poets can become touchstones of culture:
  • “It's just so beautiful... poets from every corner of everywhere came to town... just different poets doing Andrea's truly greatest hits.” (27:32–30:50)
  • Moving metaphor from Andrea’s caregiver Buddy:

    “…that was ultimately what Andrea did in life, was cheer on exhausted runners in this world.” (37:43)

2. [Main Segment] Abbi Jacobson Asks: Have You Found Your Personal Style? (39:03–63:30)

Abbi Jacobson’s Question (39:37)

“Do you guys feel like you've found like a personal style? … Sometimes I see someone, I’m like, God, they just really tapped into their look and their vibe and they clearly feel really good and confident in what they're wearing... Do you guys feel like you have that? And if so… what is it? When did you find it?”

Hosts’ Reflections on Style

• Tig Notaro:

  • Deadpans, “as far as personal style. Lesbian.” (41:02)
  • Jokes about being “a generic lesbian [who can’t] be found if [she] ever goes missing” (41:18).
  • Actual preferences: Earth tones, simple masculine staples, “good quality cottons.” (41:46–42:06)

• Mae Martin:

  • Longstanding signature haircut, sometimes blonde, sometimes using 90s Sun-In: “I’m spraying bleach onto my head.” (47:36–47:59)
  • Clothes: has “struggled” with finding style, finally “just settling into nice jeans, nice simple things: white tee, black jeans, black tee, blue jeans.” (46:56–47:32)
  • Admits to panic-cooking a sad hot dog meal as a “date-gone-wrong,” describing how it was served as a main and a side: “I was trying to justify the presentation. I was like, how cool is it that a hot dog can be the main. And also a side?” (45:06)

• Fortune Feimster:

  • “My style is just being comfortable. Where Tig is being a lesbian, I’m being comfortable.” (54:17)
  • Signature curly hair for 23 years after discovering layers: “I learned about layers.” (54:39–54:54)
  • Loves T-shirts with phrases, especially from fans—"If it’s a nice, cozy, soft cotton tee, that’s... what I will wear." (51:54–52:07)
  • On formal occasions, enjoys “experimenting with suits and colors and patterns”—especially after getting into suiting for TV gigs (52:44–53:28).
  • About shopping: not a big spender, prefers wearing merch that’s comfy, and only rejects “scratchy” shirts (52:06).

Debates, Doubts & Social Pressures

• Mae: “I held on to skinny jeans for a long time after everyone else had moved on … I just started getting a lot of flack … but if I just owned it, maybe people [would] be like, where’d you get them?” (46:56–50:08)
• Tig: “No, I still wear skinny jeans. What do I do about this?” (49:06)
• Fortune: “I think you can, Tig… I really don't care if people like what I'm wearing or not.” (49:46–50:17)
• On hair and aging: Tig wonders if she should dye her increasingly gray hair, but is encouraged not to:

  “No, don’t dye it. You’re rocking it.” – Mae (56:56)

• On makeovers & style evolution:

  “I wonder if any of us have a big style makeover in our future, or have we landed…?” – Mae (55:43)
  “I’m done.” – Tig (55:57)

Funniest/Most Notable Quotes & Moments

• “If I ever go missing, I'm scared I'll never be found again because I'm like five five, brown hair, brown eye... just look like a generic lesbian.” – Tig (41:11)
• “I was justifying: how cool is it that a hot dog can be the main. And also a side? Like, you got an extra wiener on the side.” – Mae (45:06)
• “My style is just being comfortable.” – Fortune (54:17)
• “We're so handsome. For sure. Influencers. Wearing T shirts on our picture for our podcast.” – Fortune (56:22–56:34)
• [On past fashion regrets] “There was a period of time where my T shirts were a little too short.” – Fortune (60:20)
• “Our podcast is all about handsome being whatever it is to you.” – Fortune (62:22)

Abbi Jacobson’s Own Answer (58:38–59:47)

• On style, confidence, and change:

  “Sometimes I feel like I got it. And sometimes… What was I wearing there? … The moments where I felt most confident were like when I stick to a classic sort of basic... when I’ve found a uniform for myself... I think this is a never-ending question and something that is… always evolving as we change.” (58:38)

• Admits she doesn’t have a fixed answer, but sees style as always in flux—a point all hosts commiserate with.

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “It's been so long since I cooked three meals a day...” – Mae (03:57)
• “As far as personal style. Lesbian.” – Tig (41:02)
• “My style is just being comfortable.” – Fortune (54:17)
• “That was ultimately what Andrea did in life was cheer on exhausted runners in this world.” – Tig (37:43)
• “Sometimes I feel like I got it. And sometimes I’m like, what was I wearing there? … I think this is a never-ending question and something that is always evolving.” – Abbi (58:38)
• “We're so handsome. For sure. Influencers. Wearing T-shirts on our picture for our podcast.” – Fortune (56:22)
• “If I ever go missing, I’m scared I’ll never be found again… I look like the most generic lesbian wandering around.” – Tig (41:18)
• “How cool is it that a hot dog can be the main and also a side?” – Mae (45:06)
• “Handsome is in the eye of the beholder as well. You're handsome to people for different reasons and you're handsome to yourself for different reasons. And your style can be whatever it is you want as long as you feel good.” – Fortune (62:28)

Important Segments (with Timestamps)

• Mae’s Lake Arrowhead Life & Hot Dog Saga – 02:00–08:46
• Fortune’s Iceland Adventure & ‘Pink Iceland’ – 11:06–17:17
• Tig’s Baseball Family Outing & Andrea Gibson Tribute – 24:30–32:33
• Abbi Jacobson’s Style Question – 39:37
• Personal Style Deep-Dive & Anecdotes – 41:02–59:47
• Fan Art & Vibrator Hairdos – 48:01–48:55
• Wardrobe Regrets & Red Carpet Mishaps – 59:54–62:17
• Philosophy of Handsome – 62:22–62:50

Tone & Vibe

Warm, goofy, candid, and affirmingly queer—the Handsome hosts are at their comedic best, unafraid to poke fun at themselves, swap honest insecurities, and celebrate both their own and each other’s strengths and foibles. There's a mix of playful storytelling (Mae’s hot dog date disaster), supportive teasing, and sincere wisdom about comfort, self-acceptance, aging, and sartorial trends.

Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a perfect window into the Handsome crew’s blend of humor, banter, and real discussion. While the focus is technically on “personal style,” the real heart is in stories about fumbling through life—awkward meals, transformative trips, sweet memories, growing older, and finding comfort in one’s own skin (and jeans). Listeners come away knowing nobody’s got it all figured out—and that, truly, is pretty handsome.