Abby Wambach asks about getting back to your self

Summary

Podcast Summary: Handsome Episode – "Abby Wambach Asks About Getting Back to Yourself"

Podcast Information

• Title: Handsome
• Host/Author: Headgum
• Description: "Handsome" is a podcast from comedians Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin. Every week, the handsome hosts field a question from a friend and attempt to answer it together, covering every subject you could think of. Along the way, Tig, Fortune, and Mae tell plenty of stories and just generally have a ridiculous time.
• Episode: Abby Wambach asks about getting back to yourself
• Release Date: October 29, 2024

---

1. Introduction and Host Banter (01:42 – 03:08)

The episode kicks off with the familiar introductions of the hosts:

• Mae Martin (01:44): "Welcome to the Handsome Pod. I'm one of your three handsome hosts, May Martin, joined as always by Fortune."
• Fortune Feimster (01:52): "Feinster and Tig Notaro."
• Tig Notaro (01:57): "Tig Notaro."

The hosts engage in playful banter about their names and ponder the uniqueness of combinations of words that have never been thought of before.

• Mae Martin (02:18): "Do you think that's true? I sometimes try to think of a sentence that's never been said or thought."

2. Halloween Plans and Costume Discussions (03:24 – 13:07)

As Halloween approaches, the hosts discuss their plans and costumes, blending humor with personal anecdotes.

• Tig Notaro (03:24): "Did you guys know that Halloween is upon us?"
• Mae Martin (03:35): "Do you have something for Biggie picked out?"

They share stories about past group costumes, with Tig recalling dressing as a California raisin and a bunch of ravens during Oktoberfest in Munich.

• Tig Notaro (09:26): "For Halloween, I'm going to wear the silly lederhosen. And this will be part of that costume."

A humorous exchange about Tig's hat ensues:

• Fortune Feimster (10:20): "Honestly, I don't like it. If I'm totally honest with you, I don't like it."
• Mae Martin (10:50): "I think the green complements the blonde. It's like almost a Peter Pan."

The hosts announce a costume competition, encouraging listeners to send in their "handsome" costumes for a chance to win prizes.

• Mae Martin (11:25): "I feel like this. It feels manipulative. But I do want to offer, like, a prize to the best handsome costume because I really want people to do it."

3. Tig’s Story of Getting “Iced” on Stage (13:07 – 18:40)

Tig shares a personal and comedic story from one of her shows in Des Moines where she was “iced” by a fan named Linda.

• Tig Notaro (15:54): "She handed me this. She goes, 'You've been iced.'"
• Fortune Feimster (16:10): "This is what sort of circus?"

The incident involved being handed a Smirnoff Ice and being encouraged to quickly drink it on stage, highlighting Tig's humorous struggle with the situation.

• Tig Notaro (16:10): "I said, 'What does that mean?' And they said, 'You have to get on your knees and drink this.' I'm like, I'm not getting on my knees."

4. Introduction of Abby Wambach’s Question (28:26 – 31:05)

The hosts introduce Abby Wambach, a renowned athlete, as today's questioner. Abby, along with her wife Glennon Doyle, poses the question:

• Abby Wambach (31:05): "I want to know some of the methods that you three employ and how to get back to yourself."

5. Hosts’ Strategies for Reconnecting with Themselves (35:27 – 58:43)

Fortune Feimster (35:34 – 40:28): Fortune discusses the importance of embracing silliness and reconnecting with core friendships to find balance.

• Fortune Feimster (37:18): "Who am I? And I'm like, oh, I love hanging out with friends, talking, being silly that I love so, so much."

She emphasizes taking walks without distractions to clear the mind.

• Fortune Feimster (39:55): "I like to just take a walk. No headphones, nothing. Have my head clear. Just look around, look up."

Mae Martin (35:27 – 46:17): Mae shares how engaging in improv and surrounding herself with playful friends helps her reconnect.

• Mae Martin (45:09): "We're doing improv tonight, and I just know I'm going to just laugh on stage. I can't even hold it in."

She recounts a story where a friend’s unexpected behavior lightened her mood during a tough time.

• Mae Martin (42:40): "She comes back into the room completely naked and runs around the kitchen island."

Tig Notaro (35:27 – 44:44): Tig highlights the importance of friendships that allow her to be herself and the therapeutic effect of simply doing nothing.

• Tig Notaro (44:10): "Just chilling and not doing anything and not having anyone expect anything of me."

She values time spent with core friends where she can laugh and be her authentic self without external pressures.

• Tig Notaro (42:40): "When I'm feeling a little uncentered... I have some of those core friends who I can be silly with."

6. Abby Wambach’s Advice on Getting Back to Yourself (53:25 – 58:43)

Abby Wambach & Glennon Doyle (53:25 – 58:43): Abby shares her personal methods for reconnecting with herself amidst the chaos of life:

• Glennon Doyle (56:27): "Nap. I nap almost every single day."
• Glennon Doyle (56:30): "Take a sauna. And really, I think that most things that I'm feeling... can be helped with a big glass of water."

The hosts discuss the practicality and challenges of implementing such routines:

• Fortune Feimster (56:39): "I disagree... I am not a napper."
• Mae Martin (57:00): "I just want to chill. I don't want to do anything... being nothing."

They explore various self-care techniques, acknowledging that different strategies work for different people.

7. Support for Women’s Sports and Closing Remarks (58:43 – 62:38)

Tig emphasizes the importance of supporting women's sports and recognizing the dedication of female athletes like Abby.

• Tig Notaro (58:06): "Please move to Iowa. If you move to Iowa, I think you're going to want to continue this podcast because you might get a bright spot on my calendar."

She passionately encourages listeners to continue supporting women’s sports:

• Tig Notaro (59:01): "But if you're not Italian American you can listen to I guess I suppose."

The episode wraps up with final thoughts and promotional messages:

• May Martin (60:38): "Dress like us for."
• Fortune Feimster (62:25): "Subscribe to the Chicken Parmesan on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocket Cast, or wherever you get your podcasts."

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Notable Quotes

1. Mae Martin (May Martin) on Unique Sentences (02:29):

   "12 minuscule lumps of peanut brittle miraculously merged."

2. Fortune Feimster (Fortune Feimster) on Personal Reconnection (37:18):

   "Who am I? And I'm like, oh, I love hanging out with friends, talking, being silly that I love so, so much."

3. Tig Notaro (Tig Notaro) on Being "Iced" (16:11):

   "Do you think I got assassinated? Oh, my God. Do you think that there are a lot of lesbians still rocking fedoras?"

4. Glennon Doyle (Abby’s Wife) on Self-Care (56:27):

   "Nap. I nap almost every single day."

5. Tig Notaro (Tig Notaro) on Supporting Women’s Sports (59:01):

   "But if you're not Italian American you can listen to I guess I suppose."

---

Key Takeaways

• Balancing Festivities and Personal Life: The hosts intertwine their Halloween preparations with personal stories, showcasing their humorous and relatable personalities.

• Humorous Anecdotes: Tig’s story about being “iced” on stage serves as a blend of comedy and personal experience, illustrating the unpredictable nature of live performances.

• Personal Growth and Self-Care: In response to Abby Wambach’s question, each host shares unique strategies for reconnecting with themselves, emphasizing the importance of friendships, silliness, and simple self-care routines.

• Support for Women in Sports: The hosts advocate for continued support and recognition of women’s sports, highlighting the achievements of athletes like Abby Wambach.

• Engaging with Listeners: The episode encourages listener participation through costume competitions and promotes their respective projects and merchandise towards the end.

---

Conclusion

This episode of "Handsome" delves into the multifaceted ways the hosts navigate personal challenges and festivities, all while maintaining their signature humor and camaraderie. From Halloween antics to heartfelt discussions on self-reconnection, Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin offer listeners both laughs and insightful advice, making it a compelling listen for those seeking both entertainment and inspiration.

Transcript

[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Fortune Feimster]

Price and participation may vary. For a limited time only. Hey, Handsomes, we've got some exciting news. Handsome is now a part of the Headgum Podcast Network. Headgum is an amazing network here in Los Angeles with a ton of fun podcasts, including Now Handsome.

[Tig Notaro]

Now, as far as your Handsome experience, nothing is changing. You can still listen to and watch our weekly episodes, plus our pretty little episodes for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[May Martin]

And stay tuned to our YouTube channel because we're planning on popping into Hedgum Studios and doing some in person recordings very soon.

[Tig Notaro]

Soon.

[May Martin]

So keep it Handsome and keep it Head gum. Cheers. Cheers.

[Tig Notaro]

Cheers.

[May Martin]

This is a Headgum podcast. Handsome friends on the Handsome Pod chatting with friends on the Handsome Po.

[Tig Notaro]

Cheers. Cheers.

[May Martin]

Welcome to the Handsome Pod. I'm one of your three handsome hosts, May Martin, joined as always by Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

Feinster and Tig Notaro. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Tig Notaro.

[Fortune Feimster]

Tig Notaro, more like.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. Taro.

[May Martin]

Have you ever had that before?

[Fortune Feimster]

I have, yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I still think it's very clever. Very clever. Pretty much anything you can think of has been thought of that way.

[May Martin]

Do you think that's true? I sometimes try to think of a sentence that's never been said or thought. Like a combination of words that just has never been. I can't think of one right now, but, you know, like.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, give it a whirl.

[May Martin]

All right. Okay, here we go. 12 minuscule lumps of peanut brittle miraculously merged.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow. Wow.

[May Martin]

Do you think that's happened, though, about.

[Tig Notaro]

The minuscule lumps to form peanut brittle?

[May Martin]

Yeah, like there were smaller lumps and then they all merged together to form one.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Maybe there's someone in a confectioner who said That I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

But maybe an electric start for me.

[Tig Notaro]

Maybe it's totally new.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can't say I've ever heard that sentence. And I haven't ever thought that thought. But I also haven't heard a lot of things or thought a lot of things.

[May Martin]

Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

So I am the wrong one to ask.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you guys know that Halloween is upon us?

[May Martin]

I did. No. How are you feeling about it?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't do that, but it is upon us.

[May Martin]

Do you have something for Biggie picked out?

[Tig Notaro]

He does have holiday outfits and we will probably be breaking one of those out for a cute picture. He doesn't really care what he's in.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you think he likes being in it?

[Tig Notaro]

I think he's indifferent. I think he does whatever we do.

[Fortune Feimster]

Whatever we put on stair.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah, he does. He's got a Biggie stare.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it's really cute. We get candy for the trick or treaters and we do hold him in our arms while the kids come and get candy.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're holding him no matter what.

[Tig Notaro]

That's true. Do you wear matching the ground?

[May Martin]

Do you do like a group costume ever, all three of you?

[Tig Notaro]

I have done. I have done it before. I think I was a California raisin once.

[May Martin]

Well, okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

And wait, and all three of you were.

[Tig Notaro]

Um, I think there were many of us. I think it was a large group.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay. Like a whole bunch of.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, a bunch of ravens.

[May Martin]

How are you feeling about Halloween and in general take.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, we found out recently when I got together with Stephanie, I learned that she is Christmas obsessed.

[May Martin]

That doesn't match with her personality. To me that. I'd be shocked by that.

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I would. Listen, that's all part of getting a no people. I. I was, yeah, I was a little surprised. And yeah, full blown Christmas. And so she goes real hard on Christmas and goes real hard on it with Max and Finn. And we found out this year that they're about Christmas.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, no, really?

[Fortune Feimster]

They're just like, it's fine, it's fine.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow. That would bum me out if I was really into it.

[May Martin]

You thought gone to so much trouble.

[Fortune Feimster]

But here's the thing. Here's the little twist in the story.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

A couple of years ago, Stephanie started to feel like I'm a little about Christmas.

[Tig Notaro]

Whoa.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. She can't believe it. She can't believe that. She's like, yeah, it's fine.

[May Martin]

So wait, so are you moving on to Halloween to make it the new big thing?

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, we found out this year Max and Finn love that's their number one favorite.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow.

[Fortune Feimster]

Holiday. And I think that I've shared on this podcast that Finn wears Halloween socks year round.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know if I. If I shared that or if you remember that year round does not matter what outfit he's in. If he wears a little suit to something, if he's playing soccer, whatever it is, he's got little pumpkins on his socks.

[Tig Notaro]

It's a big time for the yes Taro House.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. For the yes Taros. And. Yeah. And so second in line is Easter for them and then their birthday. Their birthday is really.

[May Martin]

I feel like you should have little surveys for them that they should fill out every year just to check up on, like, the order.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have surveys for everything around.

[Tig Notaro]

I like. I liked Easter because I. Who doesn't love a basket of treats? But Easter for me was synonymous with having to put on a dress.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

A very frilly dress. And go to church.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. That wasn't your style, was it?

[Tig Notaro]

No. I would get in fights with my mom every Sunday. Like, I don't want to wear a dress. Like, I didn't. I. I could go to church, but I wanted to wear jeans. And that was a big no. No.

[May Martin]

I think that church would probably get a lot more followers if they were just, like, wear jeans.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, now it's more casual. Well, when I went. I went home last Christmas and I noticed jeans, and I was like, now we're talking.

[May Martin]

Now we're talking.

[Tig Notaro]

There weren't jeans.

[Fortune Feimster]

Jeans signed me up for church. Do you enjoy church?

[Tig Notaro]

No. But you know me. I love a hymn.

[May Martin]

I love a hymn. I like rich. I like any kind of ritual, and I like people coming together and singing. I haven't found a church I love. I'll say that one.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I like my hometown one just because they're pretty chill. You know, we were Methodists, and Methodists are chill. But if it were like, one of those hardcore churches, that would be hard for me.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Instead I get to go sing, you know. Oh, Lord, my God. It's funny that we're talking about some God hearings.

[May Martin]

I get sent a lot of memes and stuff about quantum physics and, like, the power of intention and our thoughts shaping reality and stuff. So in a way, like, if you're taking the time to pray at all or, like, light a candle, like you're focusing your intention and your. Your wants, maybe there's a quantum kind of explanation or value to, like, thinking about what you want.

[Tig Notaro]

I agree.

[May Martin]

Anyway, guys, tonight I have a show at 11pm tonight, can you believe? And also fortune. What's going on with that hat?

[Fortune Feimster]

Go to YouTube right this second, Right? Go to YouTube right now. What you're doing. Go to YouTube. It's worth it.

[Tig Notaro]

While people are on YouTube, they might want to see one part of my Halloween costume.

[May Martin]

Are you being a leprechaun this year?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, this makes you think of a leprechaun?

[May Martin]

Is that not a leprechaun?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, no, no. I thought. I thought this was alf.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I have to get an ALF mask. You're good. Point. I imagine there will be multiple Halloween parties this weekend. So an elf mask would be good.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

I just figured. I bought when I went to. You guys. Remember how I went to oktoberfest while I was in Munich? I bought two lederhosens. I don't need two lederhosens. But I bought two because you love to shop. Because one was a bit sillier than the other one. And then I realized I don't want to go silly. I want to look legit.

[May Martin]

You want to look serious in your lederhosen.

[Tig Notaro]

I do want to look serious in my lederhosen. So for Halloween, I'm going to wear the silly lederhosen. And this will be part of that costume.

[May Martin]

I thought it was leprechaun for sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, boy.

[Tig Notaro]

I think I'm too big to pass for a leprechaun.

[May Martin]

Disagree.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're an adult leprechaun. So what?

[May Martin]

So what?

[Tig Notaro]

I like my hat.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I love it. It really suits you. The green.

[Fortune Feimster]

Honestly, I don't like it. If I'm totally honest with you, I don't like it.

[May Martin]

I think the green complements the blonde. It's like almost a Peter Pan.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't like it.

[Tig Notaro]

Or it could be a fedora.

[Fortune Feimster]

You just look like a lesbian. That's it. That's what I go as every Halloween. I go whenever people are like, what are you? I say, I'm an aging lesbian.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. Do you think that there are a lot of lesbians still rocking fedoras?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Do we know?

[May Martin]

Probably. Yeah. Right in. Right in. If you're right in. Still rocking your fedora. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Here's what I want to suggest. I would like to put it out there. And I would like to see some photos, too, of you and your two friends, whoever you are. And your two friends are going as handsome.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

And it didn't occur to me that.

[Fortune Feimster]

That could happen until I saw you in this clown suit. I just.

[Tig Notaro]

How dare you?

[Fortune Feimster]

How Dare you. I have to look at you. How dare you?

[May Martin]

I feel like this. It feels manipulative. But I do want to offer, like, a prize to the best handsome costume because I really want people to do it. So we should think of a prize.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, probably something in our merch.

[Fortune Feimster]

How about that hat?

[May Martin]

They can win Fortune's lederhosen. Huh?

[Tig Notaro]

Do we send them, like, a pair of pineapple apart socks or something?

[May Martin]

I was thinking bigger. I was like, I'll fly to their house. The best cock.

[Tig Notaro]

That's all right. That's very generous.

[Fortune Feimster]

Great costumes. What else?

[May Martin]

Give me your address. I'm coming over. What else do I have to do?

[Tig Notaro]

And then they're like, oh, we didn't think you were really going to come.

[May Martin]

They're like, turn off the lights. Pretend you're not home.

[Tig Notaro]

I love. I love that. I started with her handsome socks. And you went to. I will fly to your house and hang out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Classic May. Classic May.

[Tig Notaro]

Classic May.

[Fortune Feimster]

Fortune and I are willing to throw some dirty socks your way. Dirty socks is happy to fly. I'm assuming they're disgusting. Used, right? You win.

[Tig Notaro]

Used.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know what?

[Tig Notaro]

New socks.

[Fortune Feimster]

But no. Here, I've got it. I will send Finn's pumpkin socks to you.

[May Martin]

Well, Finn's not gonna like that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. He's not.

[Fortune Feimster]

Endless amounts of pairs.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Halloween socks coming out of every drawer.

[Tig Notaro]

I was gonna send new handsome pineapple.

[May Martin]

Apart socks, but if you. If you. If you win, I. You heard it here. You won't be able to get rid of me. You're gonna be, because I will join your family.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow.

[May Martin]

I just want to give love and be loved.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

Now I'm excited to see these handsome costumes because there's a lot at stake.

[May Martin]

There's a lot at stake. I could end up relocating to Iowa or something.

[Tig Notaro]

You sure could. As long as you can still do the handsome podcast. Doesn't matter to us.

[Fortune Feimster]

Why not? Please move to Iowa.

[Tig Notaro]

If you move to Iowa, I think you're going to want to continue this podcast because you might get a bright.

[May Martin]

Spot on my calendar.

[Fortune Feimster]

Iowa's a beautiful city town. It's cool country. It's a state.

[Tig Notaro]

I got iced in Des Moines.

[Fortune Feimster]

Iced?

[Tig Notaro]

You guys don't know what iced is?

[May Martin]

Isn't that like assassin?

[Tig Notaro]

Do you think I got assassinated?

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, Fortune. Were you assassinated?

[May Martin]

Wait, you were assassinated?

[Fortune Feimster]

How is he just now? Coming up.

[Tig Notaro]

Iced. You guys ever hear of Smirnoff?

[Fortune Feimster]

Like somebody ignores you.

[Tig Notaro]

No. You get the malt beverage smearing off ice.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. So in it. So in the Midwest it was very popular to ice somebody. So what that means is that they. If someone comes up to you and hands you a Smirnoff Ice, you had to get on your knees and then chug this entire Smirnoff Ice in one gulp. One.

[Fortune Feimster]

Then you iced yourself. You have the choice to do it or not.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I do a whole story about it in my special good fortune where I talk about that. I got iced at a show of mine many, many years ago in Des Moines by a lesbian named Linda. Linda, one of my own turned against me.

[May Martin]

And did you know. So you knew about this tradition, or did she say, like, hey, you gotta get on your knees.

[Tig Notaro]

She said, hey. She handed me this. She goes, hey, you've been iced. And the whole crowd went nuts.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I was like, crowd? Where were you?

[Tig Notaro]

I was on my show, a show of mine.

[May Martin]

And you were on stage when I was on stage. Oh, my Lord.

[Tig Notaro]

And I was kind of tipsy. This is the only reason I think I agreed to it. I was tipsy. This was a wild show. It was a. In. It was not at a club. It was at this independent show I was doing at a bar that. That turned this room into, like, a stage. There's, like, 400 people there. It was my Chelsea lately days. So the crowd that knew me at that time like. Like to drink and party because Chelsea liked to drink and party. And so they kept sending me the whole show, drink after drink and shot at. My whole barstool was full of alcoholic beverages. I couldn't keep up with all the drinks that were being sent to me, so I started to drink some of them, and I was starting to get tipsy. And then the nail in the coffin.

[Fortune Feimster]

Was she, when you were assassinated, handed.

[Tig Notaro]

Me a Smirnoff Ice. And the whole crowd goes nuts. And she goes, you've been iced. And they. I said, what does that mean? And they said, you have to get on your knees and drink this. I'm like, I'm not getting on my knees. And she was like, do it.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is during your show?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is what sort of circus?

[Tig Notaro]

This whole bit's on my last special on Netflix. I don't want to give it away, but why? Well, we're.

[Fortune Feimster]

Why did you agree to it? Why didn't you just say, step back, Linda?

[Tig Notaro]

Because you try saying no to Linda and Des Moines.

[May Martin]

Handsome homeowners. We want to help you save on your home insurance. That's why we're proud to be sponsored by Allstate. With Allstate, they're not just Saving you money. They're saving you time by making it easy to get a quote without all the headache.

[Tig Notaro]

Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate.

[May Martin]

Not available in every state. Based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allst, reported savings. Savings vary.

[Abby Wambach]

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[Fortune Feimster]

How do you know her name was Linda? Just because she was gay.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey, my name's Linda. And you. You've been iced. Been iced.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. What did she.

[Fortune Feimster]

What does Linda look like?

[Tig Notaro]

Spiky hair. Spiky gray hair. Older.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, this adds up.

[Tig Notaro]

A leather vest. I said it looked like she might have had a dream catcher in her car.

[May Martin]

Wow, Linda.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[May Martin]

And so were you wasted after you have to continue the show?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I. Like, I woke up. I passed out.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

I passed out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Who started this?

[Tig Notaro]

It's Linda, probably saying it's a thing people do. I didn't make it up.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, I understand, but I'm saying, who made it up?

[Tig Notaro]

Linda, Probably Linda.

[Fortune Feimster]

And also, like, why do you have to get on your knees as part.

[Tig Notaro]

Of getting ice cream? I don't know what to tell you. I didn't make.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't want to fight with you. I'm just saying. This is so dumb and weird.

[Tig Notaro]

Google it. It's a thing.

[Fortune Feimster]

Googling. Getting iced.

[Tig Notaro]

So anyway, my point was that happened in Iowa, so be careful. Be careful.

[May Martin]

Maybe okay. If Linda's around. Yeah, yeah, I'm running. What if. What if I. What if Linda submits a photo and wins the competition and I gotta go live with her?

[Tig Notaro]

Linda might. Who do you think Linda would play of the three of us?

[Fortune Feimster]

Me.

[Tig Notaro]

Pig.

[May Martin]

Yeah, the way you said that.

[Tig Notaro]

Fine. I'm Linda. Oh, I can't wait to see people's curly haired wigs.

[Fortune Feimster]

What are they gonna have for May?

[May Martin]

Like spray paint their blonde beaver hair and like little round head or, you know, you know what they could do? They could just tape a Q tip onto the other two people and be like, there's May.

[Fortune Feimster]

A Q tip.

[May Martin]

I think I look like a Q tip. And I have that vibe.

[Tig Notaro]

If anyone wants to go see the Q tip vibe.

[May Martin]

But okay, thanks.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, no, I see like, I see.

[Tig Notaro]

Like a Bieber haircut with the like hair.

[Fortune Feimster]

But if we do see Q tips out this house. Spooky. Q tips.

[Tig Notaro]

Spooky.

[Fortune Feimster]

This one Halloween, actually, Thomas was with us. We were visiting Stephanie's mother when she lived in Rhinebeck, New York. And it was. Oh my gosh, it was so funny. First of all, Thomas was very much like only allowing one candy or whatever per person. He was very. Thomas, you know, you were really disciplined about Dickler. Wow.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And also, Stephanie's mother made us all. I don't know if you remember this, Thomas. Make these little ghost covers for those dum dum lollipops. And it was just a white little sheet with two dots and like a rubber band around it. And we were like, why are we doing this? And she's like, it's fun because it's fun. And so we're like doing this. These putting these little GH costumes on dum dum lollipops. And this kid came to the door and was like, what's this? Totally ruined the vibe. But it was also really funny because I think Max and Finn, they were maybe two and a half or something, and Finn just yelled Halloween and ran out of the door and down the street and we had to go retrieve him.

[May Martin]

Really good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, that's really good.

[Tig Notaro]

Are you gonna go trick or treating this year?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. Because of my schedule. I'll be in Toronto.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah, you're gonna miss go trick.

[May Martin]

Or treating by yourself, please.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Halloween is not my thing. And I'm also not like. Like you were saying you were in a group costume. I'm not a group costume person.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I couldn't see you doing that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I mean, I barely am able to get into a costume beyond an aging lesbian, but I don't like the we're a thing together. You know, this is really throwing a.

[May Martin]

Spanner in our horse costume idea.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that's hard to pull off.

[May Martin]

I'll take control of it so you won't have to do anything except get in it. Step in.

[Fortune Feimster]

I am more than happy to do that because it's not Halloween. It's.

[May Martin]

It's every day. You can't do it on Halloween.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, no, it just for like day to day life clomping around. I'm happy to be a third in that. Yeah. In that horse suit.

[May Martin]

You're gonna give out candy, Fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm gonna give out candy. I usually go to Tom Papa's house. He always has a big Halloween thing. But my dream. And I talked about this last Halloween. You know, I told you guys how when I was a kid I would go to church. They had like a. They called it a bazaar.

[May Martin]

Yes. And I went to a church bazaar around Halloween.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And they would have the thing where you walk in the circle and if you won, you got a whole cake.

[May Martin]

I don't remember you talking about this.

[Tig Notaro]

But yeah, I'm pretty sure I did. And. Because that was where I went dressed as alf.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[May Martin]

Yes. Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

And they. When you won, if you. Because it's basically musical chairs, but without the chairs, you're on a number, and if it stops on your number, you get to pick out a cake. An entire cake that some wonderful old lady made. And I've not experienced that since I was kid. A kid. And I really want to be a part of a situation where everyone makes an entire cake and I get to pick out one if I win.

[May Martin]

And what if you don't win? Would you be crushed? Because that's your only yes. Yeah, maybe we rig it. We rig it so you can win because that'd be too sad.

[Tig Notaro]

If I'm in this situation and I don't want a cake, my dreams will have been shattered.

[May Martin]

Okay. We can't let that happen.

[Tig Notaro]

No, thank you.

[Fortune Feimster]

We would never let your dreams be shattered.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune. I really love cake.

[Fortune Feimster]

What's your favorite kind of cake?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, probably red velvet.

[Fortune Feimster]

M. That's good. I love red velvet.

[May Martin]

I like cheap, cheap white birthday cake like that. Like just where the flavor is basically. Just white.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Like it's not even vanilla. Like just.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love king cake from Mardi Gras.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah. It's almost like a Danish though, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

It's like a cinnamon roll type vibe. But it's. It is.

[Tig Notaro]

But then there's stuff in it, right? You. You might swallow like a mannequin.

[Fortune Feimster]

A baby. A mannequin.

[May Martin]

I was just gonna say full grown.

[Fortune Feimster]

Mannequin in a king cake.

[Tig Notaro]

I tell you this. I do not swallow a mannequin.

[May Martin]

The cake is in the shape of a man.

[Fortune Feimster]

If you swallowed a mannequin that would be your choice. You decided to swallow it because you would have so many chances to not swallow a mannequin.

[Tig Notaro]

In my defense, you said a baby. There's a baby in there. So a mannequin. A baby. I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, it's a little plastic baby or a penny. Sometimes they'll put a penny in there.

[Tig Notaro]

Worse. Worse. I'd rather swallow a mannequin.

[Fortune Feimster]

A mannequin? Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

How are you gonna put a penny in there? It's easily swallowable.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know.

[May Martin]

Jeopardy. I want to bring that back, though. Hiding stuff in cakes. Like there was one called a frozen charlotte that were apparently. And you'd put like a frozen porcelain doll in it.

[Tig Notaro]

That's not far off from a mannequin.

[Fortune Feimster]

It is weird. Why are you hiding things?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, don't put anything in cakes. Like when people talk about proposing and they put the ring in the cake. I think that's terrible.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's. I'm not a fan of that.

[Tig Notaro]

What are you supposed to eat? Chomp down on a ring?

[Fortune Feimster]

Come on.

[Tig Notaro]

What are we doing here?

[May Martin]

So if you're in. If you're in jail, you don't want me to smuggle you a little saw in and a cake.

[Tig Notaro]

I do want cake.

[May Martin]

But you don't care about them.

[Tig Notaro]

Probably won't.

[Fortune Feimster]

I want you to smuggle it. I'd like for you to smuggle a mannequin in my cake. And then I'll have. Yeah, I have a buddy in my jail cell.

[Tig Notaro]

It sounds like this is going to be a pretty fun Halloween for me. The only thing I don't want this Halloween. I don't want to see a ghost.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, ghost.

[May Martin]

Why don't you ready?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't want it. I've. I've heard you. The people that see ghosts are the ones who are susceptible to it. So they have invited these ghosts to. Into their life, into their. And I don't want it. I'm not. I don't want any part of it. The only ghosts I want to see are the. Yeah, ghost. I only want to see the yeah. Ghost.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are you susceptible?

[Tig Notaro]

No, I've never seen a ghost.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, it sounds like you're. You are susceptible because you have this fear. Like, you.

[May Martin]

What if, like your fear actually magnetizes them?

[Tig Notaro]

You guys do not invite ghosts into my house. My house apparently is a non ghost house.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think we've talked about this. But I also am like, what is the pro. Who cares about ghosts? Like, what is the worst thing a ghost that you can run your hand through them like you don't even knock into any. Yeah. Oh, they rattle a chain. It's like, okay, please.

[Tig Notaro]

What about a poltergeist? Is not.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah, you don't want that.

[Tig Notaro]

You don't want that.

[May Martin]

You could explode your TV or something. And you don't want. What if a ghost shows up and starts showing you your Christmas past and future and you're like, I didn't see that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, who wants to go back in time?

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, you're. You're naming like some annoying things. Like they blow your TV up, they rattle chains. They know, you know there's.

[May Martin]

I'll tell you, the most up thing they can do is get in your head and kind of start making you go crazy. Like they're going, like you're going. That little girl goes, I was playing with the woman in my room and she said to go to the pond at night. And the parents are like, what woman.

[Fortune Feimster]

In your room, sweetie?

[May Martin]

She's like the woman. She comes every night. She tells me to go swimming in the dark. And the parents are like, you're, you're have an imaginary friend. And then the next thing you know, your kid's waiting into the pond at night going, the woman told me, where did this happen? I made it up. But that's the kind of thing that could happen.

[Tig Notaro]

And also you're in a shower and it's steamy and all of a sudden they're writing on your mirror.

[Fortune Feimster]

That happened to either of you or anyone you know?

[May Martin]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

No. But it could.

[May Martin]

There are more things in heaven and earth.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know what could happen that is real. We could get our question from our questioner today. That is. That's real.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, we can. Who do we have?

[Fortune Feimster]

Everyone watches women's sports.

[Tig Notaro]

I've worn this shirt before, but I wore it again in honor of today's questioner.

[Fortune Feimster]

Today's questioner is a gold medal winning athlete, a best selling author and podcast host who was named U.S. soccer Athlete of the Year six times. Not five, six times. She is the highest all time goal scorer for the U.S. national team. Abby Wambach is asking today's question.

[Tig Notaro]

I have to say really quick, I'm very excited about Abby being on our podcast, who I think is our first athlete.

[May Martin]

Is that true? Yeah, that's true.

[Tig Notaro]

That's a question.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, Stephanie was on.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, that's true.

[Fortune Feimster]

She played on the Pistol shrimps.

[Tig Notaro]

She sure did. But this is our first professional athlete. Yeah, I know Abby now, which is very exciting. But I, I was a huge Abby fan for all of her run on the U.S. national team. I mean, one of the greatest soccer players of all time, men or man or woman. Like, watching her play was, like, the next level. Unbelievable. She had some of the greatest goals in the history of soccer.

[May Martin]

I mean, she was. She was a forward, like a striker.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. She struck crunch times. She, like, got us these gold medals or championships.

[Fortune Feimster]

And us meaning.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, we're all in this together, right? Right. They're playing, but I'm watching because everyone watches women's sports. I'm. I'm wearing the shirt because some of her teammates made these shirts. And women's sports is having a. A big moment that hopefully continues and grows. But Abby was on the forefront of being, like, one of the first. You know, me. It was me and him. And then Abby won back these huge soccer stars. But she's an incredible athlete, and so when I got to meet her and. And got to know her a little bit, I was, like, so geeked out, because I'm just a giant admirer of her athletic ability and what she did for the sport. It was really cool. Really cool to watch her.

[May Martin]

And she's so funny and kind and smart that, like, quite.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Now she has a podcast with her wife, Glennon, and they're doing really, really.

[Fortune Feimster]

Neat Glenn, and sister is on the podcast, too. But, yeah, Abby is.

[Tig Notaro]

Do hard things.

[Fortune Feimster]

Abby's a real delight of a human. A real delight. Only. Only a good vibe around her.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, for sure.

[May Martin]

Should we hear her question?

[Tig Notaro]

Let's do it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, all right.

[Glennon Doyle]

Hi, Tig. Hello, Fortune. Hello, May. You all are so handsome. First of all, I love your freaking podcast. It's the absolute best. We love listening to it. Number one, my question is this. And as you can see, yes, I am in bed, and it has been a lot going on in our lives. We've got aging parents, and we've got teenage children, and we've got businesses, and we've got work stuff. And I've been trying to think of a really smart question to ask you guys, but I think that I'm gonna just be more real. Like, I want to know some of the methods that you three employ and how to get. Because I'm sure you're all just as busy as us. What are the ways in which you use. What are the things that you use for you to bring yourself back to yourself? I mean, I know we talk about we can do hard things on our other podcasts, and I'm like, I'm kind of tired of talking about hard things all the time. And I think sometimes I forget how to even do easy things because I don't know. I just need your help. I need your help figuring out what it is that you three do. I'm curious if you do things that are similar to me or if you could give me some new things that I can try to do to make myself feel more like myself and less overwhelmed or stressed or whatever. I love you guys. Thanks for asking me to do this finally. Tig okay, good luck with answering the question.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can't hear you.

[Glennon Doyle]

Wait to hear the answers.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow. This is like a direct give me some advice kind of thing where I.

[May Martin]

Don'T think we've had that before. No, it's a really good question. I struggle with it too. Like she said, bring you back to yourself. I'm like, I don't know if I was ever with myself.

[Dan Licata]

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[G]

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[May Martin]

I think I came out of the womb like a gunshot went off and was like zing. And I've just been. You've been zinging around for my life ever since.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, it's so easy in this business to get so like consumed with work and the responsibilities that you do sort of become robotic at times or where you don't feel like yourself, where you just feel like you're kind of outside of your body, going from one thing to the next to the. To the next. So I totally relate to that feeling.

[May Martin]

Yeah. And it's different. It must be different for everyone. What brings you back to yourself? Because, like, Abby said, how to. To. To make me feel like myself again. So that. That would be specific to. To you. Like, yeah. Maybe tapping into those hobbies or passions that you had when you were a kid that you like, that you haven't monetized. Like, I think it's hard if you do what you love. You know what I mean?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And then. But, you know, do you love to paint or play the piano?

[Fortune Feimster]

And it is interesting to hear Abby say, like, that she's doing all of these things in life that are stressful. And then also she is talking about hard things a lot. I mean, that's what their podcast is. We can do hard things. And it's a great podcast. And although they are getting into a lot of heavy stuff, it is funny. I mean, they. They definitely find the humor there and they're, you know, there's so much silliness at times, and. And that's great. But I, Yeah, I can relate in that. You know, for myself, when there was kind of a heaviness and in my life of being busy and also being in the middle of all of the stuff I was in the middle of when I was sick and everything in 2012, and that followed me for a long time.

[May Martin]

Talking about it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, talking about it and kind of staying in that loop. And even though there's certainly still elements of that, that's going to follow me for a long time because I'm known for it and because I still am dealing with hard things in that reality. But it's also. I reached a point where I had to stop and think, okay, I put out a comedy special or more than one, wrote a book, had a TV show documentary. All these different things that people can go to and access for any sort of insight or help that they might think or hope to get from me. But that doesn't mean I have to stay there forever. And a lot of the things that I've been drawn to now is just a lot of silliness. And that's what I had to really get in touch with for myself. Of, like, who am I? Yes, I went through that, and I still go through parts of it and will continue to, but who am I? And I'm like, oh, I love hanging out with friends, talking Being silly that I love so, so much. I. That's a part of me, the seriousness and the hard stuff and. But I really, really love laughing with friends. And I've had amazing laughs with Abby and Glennon and with you guys and that. I don't know, I feel like that really brings me back because I do think that sometimes you can get caught up in what people expect of you.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

On so many different levels. And then you back yourself into a corner and you're like, well, this is my thing. Or this is what people need from me. This is what they want or expect. And then you are stuck in that corner and you just are like, I just.

[May Martin]

Yeah. And it might. You might not realize it's taking a toll on you too, because you've sort of narrativized it or you've, like, made it light, but then it's still personal and emotional and, you know, more to you than the person asking the question. And you're talking about this. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So silliness. Big time.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And I have one of my closest friends. She's Max and Finn's godmother. Very. We've been tight since we were children. We don't see each other and talk to each other every day. But I would say she is one of my absolute closest friends. When I see her, I'm like, I cannot wait to see her. I mean, it brings me back to a calming, centered place.

[May Martin]

Yeah. And a version of yourself that you like.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And it's, it's just, it's just relaxed and it's, it's every. Like, we know each other from childhood. We have been through all of the good and bad, and I mean, horrendous and joyful together. And you're accountable. These people hold you accountable in life because they've, they've seen every part of you and I don't know, that centers me. And I think just in a simple day to day way, I like to just take a walk. No headphones, nothing. Have my head clear. Just look around, look up. Think that stuff centers me.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Bird poops in your eye.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I was going to say. I was going to say friends too, because I. I feel like the older we get, the less we see of some of our friends. It used to be like my, my early days in la, it was with. I was with friends all the time and we were such a big part of each other's lives and we're just like always in touch, always at each other's houses. And then when my Career started really picking up. And I started. Especially when I started touring, I was always gone. So then that stuff kind of fell by the wayside because it just. I wasn't around like I was before. So when I'm feeling a little uncentered or like things have been too serious or too businessy or whatever, I have some of those core friends who I can be silly with, and we don't all live in the same place anymore, but if we talk on the phone, they. They just know me in a way other people don't know me. And you can kind of say anything and be silly, like you said, and. And that definitely makes me feel good. Or we'll have brunch or something. And you're just like. You're not, you know, the comedian or the actor, the whatever person. Well, you're just like, friends and you're sharing a cinnamon roll, you know?

[May Martin]

Did I tell you about my friend Gabby the other day who, when I was real sad and like, you're saying Fortune, though, they also. They remember all the times that you've been sad and got through it, too. So there's, like. It's less alarmist because they're around and they're like, oh, yeah, we've been through this before. But my friend Gabby, she left the room for a minute. I mean, I was so sad. I was like, you know, and she comes back into the room completely naked and runs around the kitchen island, and her little body just running around the island. I've never seen her naked before. Like, this is a surreal choice for her. And it was just, like, to jolt me out of what was going on, and it made me cry, laugh. It was so bold.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was hilarious.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I never had a friend do that for me.

[May Martin]

He was so unexpected.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'll do that for you, Fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[May Martin]

Yes, please.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

That's pretty.

[May Martin]

I like. I like music and guitar and stuff. It's good, too.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Sometimes mine is the opposite of that. I either, like, want to be with friends that know me and we're laughing and silly, or I just want to be completely alone, because I do. Even though I'm extroverted, I have a big part of my personality that is introverted as well, and I need to just, like, be on my couch, like, Biggie in my lap, watching some trash TV show that I don't have to think about anything. Fireplace on.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Just chilling and not doing anything and not having anyone expect anything of me and just allowing myself to just, like, not work or answer text, just, like, being nothing.

[May Martin]

Yeah, the muscles in your face are just, like, totally relaxed. You're just like, I'm not even. Yeah, that sounds nice.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I love that. I love that more than anything. To just, like, just wait.

[Fortune Feimster]

Can Jax be there or you just want me.

[Tig Notaro]

That Jack seemed to be there for sure, because she's. We have this.

[Fortune Feimster]

She lives there still, right?

[Tig Notaro]

She does. She's on the. She's on the one side of the couch, I'm on the other. And we're pretty. We talk a ton. But we are also very good about just being. And chilling and not, you know, doing anything. So that helps me get re. And, like, re. Energized by just doing nothing.

[May Martin]

I'm doing an improv show tonight, and that kind of like, I'm so tired, and I would love to go to bed. And the show's at 11pm but then I remember our friend Alanna Johnston is doing it with me, and she's the silliest person I know, and she's gonna come. She enters a room like. It's like a firework went off, and she. One time we went to Sarah Silverman's party together.

[Fortune Feimster]

She's not annoying.

[May Martin]

No, not annoying.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's the thing, is she's a delight.

[May Martin]

A delight. And she.

[Fortune Feimster]

Silly delight.

[May Martin]

And she walks into the room and she starts going. As she walks into Sarah Silverman's party, and I'm like, shy. I don't know anyone. And she. And Atlanta walks in going, I know what boys like. She starts singing this song anyway, and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did she know Sarah at the time or.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah, we knew her. We both knew her a bit, but.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, okay.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I wasn't sure if you were both. First time.

[May Martin]

I think it was our first time at the party, you know?

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

So we were intimidated, and she's just as so fun as a plus one to anything. But, yeah, we're doing improv tonight, and I just know I'm going to. I'm. I just laugh on stage. I can't even hold it in. And she just does ridiculous things. That goes back to that silliness thing.

[Fortune Feimster]

I also think it's just so. I think it comes with age and experience of starting to say no.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah. I got to get better at that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah. It's so crucial because you really don't have to do everything and.

[May Martin]

Right.

[Tig Notaro]

Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

You really don't. And, you know, it's like, you get asked all the time, like, will you do this charity event? Will you donate money? Will you be here for this appearance? Will you do this? And it's like, you want to do things, you want to be helpful, you want to be involved, but it's like, at what expense?

[May Martin]

Yeah, better to pick a few and then really put your all into them and really show up and really, like, promote it and prep it and be, you know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Because I feel like some people get that you, meaning maybe the three of us and others in our kind of in entertainment get asked to do a lot of things. And then I think there are other people that don't quite understand that you're not the first person that's asked, you know? And so it's a balance of trying to figure out, like, I want to do this, but I don't have time. And I always try to say something like, you know, maybe another time, just to keep the door open and keep it friendly and whatever. But I do think it's so important to do the lockdown when you're just beat to the ground, or you. You just need some time off.

[May Martin]

And what about nature? Like, do you guys go in. I never go in nature, really, And I know I have to.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's weird, because there is a bear behind you.

[May Martin]

Where?

[Tig Notaro]

It does look like a bear.

[Fortune Feimster]

What do you mean, looks like? Oh, after the bear thing. Oh, I'm sorry. It just looks like there's a polar bear behind.

[Tig Notaro]

There was a bear behind them.

[May Martin]

I really.

[Fortune Feimster]

There's no bear. I mean, maybe there is somewhere behind you on this planet.

[Tig Notaro]

It looks like a woolly mammoth.

[May Martin]

It's a weirdly, like, decorative, fluffy chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nature, though. I remember going on a hike in the mountains when I was, like, 20, and it was before I had a cell phone, even, and it was like. And we were staying in little, like, guest houses up in the mountains, and it was like, I was the best. No one could reach me. No one knew where I was. And I was just writing my little journal and.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, you like to go off the grid.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Did I tell you about this thing I heard about the Darkness retreat? I think we have talked about it, where you sit in the dark. So you sit in the dark.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know if you tell me about it, but I've heard about it, and it kind of intrigues me. Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

Not me. No, thank you. Y'all have fun.

[May Martin]

You want to go in? We'll go in adjacent rooms in the dark.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would be very interested. I. I heard about this probably 10 years ago. This was before I was triggered with claustrophobia. And so I'm curious how I would do now.

[May Martin]

You have to Know that door is open if you have to get out for any reason.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You just sit in the dark for all day.

[May Martin]

Yeah. So you go up. The one I saw was like in Oregon or something. And it's a little cabin and it's pitch black. And three times a day, someone who works there is going to bring you slide in a little meal and be like, you okay in there? And you're just sitting and I think maybe you could have a little fire going or something. But you. A tiny one, like, you can't see. And you're just in there for 72 hours. And when you get out, you're so grateful to be alive.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think, yeah, I would need to have something. Yeah. I would pay big, big money for this. But if I were in a dark cabin, I would need to have like a sledgehammer because I think my. Well, because I think my claustrophobia would be like, oh, I'd be scared somebody on the other side would be able to lock me in. So I would. That. That would trigger me. So I'd need something. And I don't actually don't think I'm strong enough to wield to lift it, much less knock something down. I'd be like, ah, my back. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But just knowing it's there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I wonder if we one time did this podcast, like from a dark pitch black room, the three of us.

[Fortune Feimster]

And how would it affect.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Like how people to watch the videos.

[May Martin]

They to see the fedor.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, is this a. No fedora. How they going to see this fedora? Is this a second hat?

[Tig Notaro]

No, this is the hat.

[May Martin]

Well, we wouldn't be able to tell if you were wearing it. It be p. You wouldn't.

[Tig Notaro]

This is why I don't even want to eat in the dark. I've heard of those experiences where you go pay at a restaurant and it's pitch dark. I don't even want to do that.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've done. Oh, my gosh. You know you're gonna let it shine.

[Tig Notaro]

That's what I mean. Light.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, you're essentially just kind of talking about how dark it is through the whole dinner.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And. But what made me laugh doing that, having that experience was how probably disgusting the room was that we're in. Because they have no reason to make it nice.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know what I mean? Because it is pitch black. They lead you in and direct you to your chair. You can't see anything. And so I found it humorous slash disgusting when I thought about the filth and ugliness we were probably sitting in.

[Tig Notaro]

I need to see my food too. Because we went to this little burger place. It's very popular in New York City. And it was super dark. It was really hard to see McDonald's. Not McDonald's, no Happy Meals. And they're known for their burgers. And we were like. They gave us our burgers. And Jack says, like, takes a bite of hers.

[Fortune Feimster]

She's like, this.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know. Something. All right? And she took, like, another bite, and she's like, I don't know. And so I had to get out, like, my phone flashlight. And so we do the thing, and our burger's, like, raw.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

It's, like, kind of cooked on the outside, but, like, super raw in the middle of it.

[Fortune Feimster]

And it's a dark restaurant on a dark restaurant.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, just, like, the vibe is. It's not like what you're describing, that one of those. Which is, like, hard to see. And it was, like, so raw. And I was like, I need to see my food. I gotta see my food. And we even were like, hey, your burger's raw. And they were like, huh.

[May Martin]

I love that waiter.

[Tig Notaro]

It wasn't a fancy place by any means.

[Fortune Feimster]

They were like, okay. Yeah, bummer.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sorry to hear that. I'm off work.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

All right, well.

[May Martin]

Oh, should we hear Abby's answer?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I just wanted to say real quick, like, how does one chill or find that peace when you have kids? Because Abby's house has kids. Your house has kids. How do you. Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

But they're at school.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, are they? Okay? Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, Max and Finn, we drop them off at eight in the morning. They go to school till three, and then they have these extracurricular activities that they do after school. Or. Or if they don't have extracurricular activities, they have just this free play.

[Tig Notaro]

So that's where you find your me time.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And so we don't pick them up until just before five.

[Tig Notaro]

Gotcha.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then we have them on the weekends all day and night.

[Tig Notaro]

Which I just assume there's no peace when you have kids.

[May Martin]

I guess, like, I don't know, it would be hard to have full peace in your mind because your mind is kind of.

[Tig Notaro]

You're worried all the time.

[May Martin]

You got, like, two little separate minds in your own mind that are just, like, keeping an eye on those two all the time, you know?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And I think there's also those weird moments in life where you're just going along and everything feels good. And then your child lets you in on you Know, a thought or feeling that they had where you're like, whoa, I didn't know you were thinking or feeling that.

[May Martin]

Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, and then that can trigger a concern of, what else don't I know? Or what. What do they not even know to tell me or ask about or. And then it spirals into. And then when they're a teenager. And then what if. When they're off to this. And that's.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. No, thank you.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But it is all worth it.

[Tig Notaro]

I know that. I'm sure you're right. Let's hear what Abby has to say. Maybe she has some advice for us.

[Glennon Doyle]

Okay. So I just woke up from my nap, and I guess I'm feeling a little better. That is one way that I return to myself. Nap. I nap almost every single day. It is the thing that I have taken from the sports world and brought it into my retirement world. That. Look, Glennon never. Glennon never participates. She doesn't understand napping. Every once in a blue moon. I'll get her in here. But I'm here every day. I also go for walks, and I work out every day in the morning every weekday. Those are things that bring me back to myself. I like to take a sauna. And really, I think that most things that I'm feeling, like, the way that I'm feeling can be helped with a big glass of water.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh.

[Glennon Doyle]

Hope you guys agree.

[Tig Notaro]

A big glass of water.

[Fortune Feimster]

I disagree. I really disagree. Well, I disagree on the napping. I am not a napper.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm not a napper either.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Are you a napper?

[May Martin]

I try sometimes, and it just makes me so sleepy after because I. Yeah. I think we're. We're probably all three of us so underslept and, like, so profoundly deficient in sleep that once you start, your body's like, give me 20 hours.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's so confusing to take a nap for me.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Waking up and just being like, yeah, I get disoriented.

[Tig Notaro]

What happened?

[May Martin]

How do you feel about a big glass of water, though?

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, I drink water all day.

[Tig Notaro]

I should be better about the exercising every day.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are you still treading?

[Tig Notaro]

I treaded yesterday. Yesterday morning. Yeah. I do like that a lot. It actually has been something I look forward to when I do it a couple times a week and really enjoy that. I like the idea of taking a sauna. If someone wants to give me an outdoor sauna, I'd be happy to take a sauna.

[Fortune Feimster]

We have a GoFundMe page for.

[May Martin]

Yeah. For fortune sauna.

[Tig Notaro]

Or if someone Has a sauna company. I'll take a sauna.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, Sauna company's listening. Send us each a sauna.

[Tig Notaro]

We'd like a sauna. And then we can know what Abby's talking about.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, it sounds like Abby knows how to bring herself back to her.

[Tig Notaro]

I know she's learned some good skills.

[May Martin]

Yeah, she seems, like, better at a fun. I'm like, do an improv show.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, Abby, do an improv show.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. I would love to see Abby.

[May Martin]

Me too.

[Fortune Feimster]

In an improv show.

[Tig Notaro]

It is wild to think about professional athletes that they're forced to retire at such a young age. It would be jarring to, like, you've spent your entire life being the best at this thing. And to be a professional athlete requires, like, crazy amounts of dedication and time. And then all of a sudden, at, like, 36, 38, they're like, that's it.

[Fortune Feimster]

That would be 37. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

So you would have to find ways to. To figure out yourself and who that person is beyond your sport. Lucky for me, I never was considered as a professional.

[Fortune Feimster]

You were never considered for a professional. Fortune was never considered in this life.

[Tig Notaro]

I was never considered for professional athleticism. Well, and let me take a second to encourage people out there to continue supporting women's sports. Yes, they've made such huge strides. And to see these basketball games and soccer games and rugby games and volleyball games, to see these stadiums getting filled in a way that they had not seen in the past. Although our women's soccer team led the charge in this, it's really cool that they're finally getting their due. And we just have to continue to support these sports and these athletes as they continue to do really amazing things.

[May Martin]

Big time.

[Fortune Feimster]

I couldn't have said it better.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, everyone, have a happy Halloween Santa rosa for me. November 16th. Get your merch. Yeah, Ghost. Wear them. Wear your teeth.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, get your yeah, ghost T shirt. Also, if you're in Toronto, I am constantly at Comedy Bar on Danforth, So go to tig notaro.com to get all of my tour dates and also buy my new album. Hello again. It's the audio version of my latest comedy special on Secretly Canadian Records. And you can buy that on my website or from theirs. And all of my show information is there too.

[Tig Notaro]

And send in your handsome costume photos and tag us at the handsome pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

Dress like us for.

[May Martin]

And I want to fly to your house.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes, May is coming over no matter what. But truly, subscribe to YouTube and the podcast rate and review us and also send your favorite episodes to your friends and until next time, keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, May Martin and Fortune Themester. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email [e-mail] Follow us on social Media Ansompod what a podcast.

[May Martin]

What a podcast. That was a headgum podcast.

[Fortune Feimster]

Handsomes, the audio version of my comedy special hello Again is available everywhere. Just in time for the holidays. Go to tig notaro.com to get a copy for you and a loved one. Now.

[Tig Notaro]

There's no better time than today to save money on home insurance. Whether you're a first time buyer or a long time owner, Allstate can save you cash, but they can also save you time because they make getting a quote quick and easy.

[May Martin]

Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate.

[Tig Notaro]

Not available in every state. Based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings savings vary. Hey everyone, I'm Dan Licata.

[Dan Licata]

And I'm Nick Nanny and we are.

[Tig Notaro]

The hosts of Chicken Padme John, now on Head Gum.

[Dan Licata]

It's the very first podcast for and about Italian Americans.

[Tig Notaro]

That's right. But if you're not Italian American you can listen to I guess I suppose.

[Dan Licata]

We can let you in, cut you a deal. We're talking about all sorts of crazy topics on this who's a better cook? Nana or Mama?

[Tig Notaro]

Who you got in that fight? Nona or Mama?

[Dan Licata]

I mean I can't say bad about Nonar. She smacked me across head. We got some great guests on the show. We got Wayne diamond, we got Edie Modica, we got Mike Hanford and our wife. Severely so subscribe the Chicken Parmesan on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocket Cast, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Thursday.