Alison Brie asks about changing your personality

Summary

Podcast Summary: Handsome – Episode Featuring Alison Brie on Changing Your Personality

Podcast Information:

• Title: Handsome
• Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
• Description: A comedic trio tackles a wide array of questions each week, sharing stories and insights in a lighthearted manner.
• Episode: Alison Brie asks about changing your personality
• Release Date: July 15, 2025

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Introduction to the Topic

In this episode of Handsome, the hosts—Mae Martin, Fortune Feimster, and Tig Notaro—delve into a thought-provoking question posed by their friend, actress Alison Brie. Brie's query centers on personal transformation: “Was there ever a time in your life where you consciously decided to try on a different personality and how did it go?” This prompts a candid discussion among the hosts about their own experiences with altering their personas and the impact it had on their personal and professional lives.

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Hosts Share Personal Experiences

Mae Martin's Summer Camp Transformation (05:17 – 29:46) Mae recounts her time at summer camp during her teenage years, where she attempted to adopt a more "femme" persona to fit in with her peers. She explains, “I decided to pretend... maple Sugar sounds kind of like a cool femme name... I would maybe be a cheerleader or something.” Mae reflects on how this conscious shift led her to lie about aspects of her life, such as faking a boyfriend, highlighting the pressures to conform during formative years.

Fortune Feimster's College and Self-Discovery (37:19 – 41:55) Fortune discusses her journey during college, where she experimented with different identities in search of community and self-identity. She shares, “I thought, well, if I do that, then I can have... create a family for myself one day.” Fortune explains that her time immersing herself in religious groups and theater helped her realize her true self, especially after coming out. She emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance, stating, “I know myself better than I ever have and I am so much clearer on what I want.”

Tig Notaro's Evolution in Comedy (42:07 – 47:56) Tig reflects on her early days in comedy, inspired by performers like Paula Poundstone and Mitch Hedberg. She admits experimenting with different comedic styles and personas, aiming to emulate her influences while developing her unique voice. Tig mentions, “I was just trying to be like Bill Hicks or whatever when I was like 14.” She highlights the journey of finding her authentic comedic style through various explorations.

Alison Brie's Insights (24:31 – 61:32) Alison Brie, the guest for this episode, shares her own experience of transforming her personality during a semester abroad in Glasgow. She describes, “I made a conscious decision to just have a more free personality... I realized that that actually is kind of my truest self.” Alison emphasizes how embracing a more authentic version of herself led to profound personal growth and lasting changes in her outlook.

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Insights and Discussions

Fluidity of Personality The hosts discuss the natural evolution of personality, noting that it's common to try on different facets of oneself during various life stages. Mae muses, “Maybe we should all be a bit more fluid about our personalities... you go, I'm really sarcastic today.” This perspective encourages embracing change as a healthy aspect of personal development.

Influence of Community and Relationships Fortune highlights how communities and relationships significantly shape one's identity. She shares her experience of seeking belonging through religious groups and how it initially led her away from her true self, illustrating the delicate balance between fitting in and maintaining authenticity.

Impact of External Environments Tig and the other hosts touch upon how external environments, such as college or career settings, provide opportunities to experiment with different personas. They acknowledge that these environments are fertile grounds for self-discovery but also caution against losing oneself in the process.

Authenticity vs. Conformity A recurring theme is the tension between wanting to fit in and striving to remain true to oneself. The hosts agree that while experimenting with different personalities can be beneficial, it's crucial to eventually align with one's authentic self to achieve genuine happiness and fulfillment.

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Concluding Thoughts

The episode underscores the importance of self-awareness and the ongoing journey of personal growth. By sharing their stories, Mae, Fortune, and Tig illustrate that while trying on different personalities can be a natural part of life, ultimately embracing one's true self leads to greater satisfaction and stability. Alison Brie's contribution reinforces this message, showcasing how a conscious shift towards authenticity can have lasting positive effects.

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Notable Quotes with Attributions and Timestamps

• Mae Martin (05:17): “Maple Sugar sounds kind of like a cool femme name... I would maybe be a cheerleader or something.”

• Fortune Feimster (37:19): “When you're young, you're still kind of trying to find yourself, so you have to sort of try on different hats to see, like, well, who am I?”

• Tig Notaro (42:07): “I was just trying to be like Bill Hicks or whatever when I was like 14.”

• Alison Brie (24:31): “I realized that that actually is kind of my truest self and my truest personality.”

• Mae Martin (50:54): “We tell ourselves so young... like, I'm bad at math... and all. And then that's like a little coffin for yourself, you know, you gotta break out of it.”

• Fortune Feimster (51:13): “There's something to be said for the single life in terms of really being yourself.”

• Alison Brie (58:34): “Once I did it this semester... I have my voice. So I can do whatever I want to do.”

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Conclusion

This episode of Handsome offers an engaging and heartfelt exploration of personal identity and the conscious efforts to change one's personality. Through relatable anecdotes and honest conversations, the hosts provide listeners with valuable insights into the complexities of self-discovery and the significance of authenticity in one’s life journey.

Transcript

[Mae Martin]

This is a Headgun podcast.

[Fortune Feimster]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Unnamed Speaker]

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[Tig Notaro]

Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois Here's a goal I have for the summer. A tidy home Home Glow is a top rated home service platform dedicated to making your space clean and tidy. Their online booking capabilities allow you to instantly schedule a cleaner in your area for a special occasion, park party, or on a regular basis to help take those big cleans off your plate. All of Homag Glow's cleaners pass a rigorous certification process and have to maintain a 4.8 star rating.

[Unnamed Speaker]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Mae Martin]

Friends on the handsome pod. Chatting with friends on the handsome pod. Cheers. Welcome to the handsome pod. I am here. I'm Mae Martin. I'm one of your hosts.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I'm joined by Dignotaro. I am also a host. Oh, what's your name?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm fortunate.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Re.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm. I think I'm also a host.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Absolutely. We all.

[Mae Martin]

I think it's safe to say at this point, you're one of the hosts.

[Fortune Feimster]

You guys, the host with the most.

[Mae Martin]

Well, that sounds good.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, all of us. We're the host.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Oh. Oh, okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

You just can hear the s Hosts.

[Unnamed Speaker]

You know, it's fine. I. I'm not terribly competitive.

[Fortune Feimster]

Really.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I'll be honest. No. Except when Stephanie wants to play 20 questions, then my competitive side comes out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, 20 questions.

[Mae Martin]

I don't think of that as a very competitive game, but.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Well, her mother pointed it out yesterday because Stephanie is so good. Like, if you say, oh, there is a comedian that has, you know, moved, but whatever, some sort of. You put out some sort of information. And then Stephanie will be like, oh, can I guess who it is? And I'll be like, sure. Or I'll be like, oh, so and so started dating. So and so. You know how I love to gossip. And she goes, she'll say, can I ask 20 questions? And then I'll say, sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, to like, figure out who it is.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah. And so we will play that very. She's so good, it's stupid. And. And so the other morning, her mother was here with us and we're having coffee, chatting. Something comes up. Stephanie says, can we play 20 questions? Sure, we're playing. And then Stephanie's mother's like, whoa, gosh, you're just as competitive as Stephanie. And I was like, what do you mean? And I realized when she pointed this out that if Stephanie asks a question and then she asks something on top of that question, I'm like, that's your fourth question. That's not like part of your third question.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right, right.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And so I get really competitive with this because Stephanie is. She's so competitive. She's so good at it. But in general, I'm just not terribly competitive. Like, I'm just not terribly competitive.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right, I can see that. And you'd be like, you're like, yeah, so what? I'm lost. Who cares?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Or I'm lost. Who cares?

[Unnamed Speaker]

No, Like, I remember doing long distance cycling sometimes for charity. And some people, even though it's not a race, some people still race. And I was dead last. And it was a four day ride.

[Fortune Feimster]

Ooh, four days. Was that the AIDS life cycle? What is it? The AIDS life?

[Unnamed Speaker]

One of them was, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, but it's like hundred mile days that you're cycling.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did your booty not hurt?

[Unnamed Speaker]

I mean, it does, but you also spend a lot of time training, and so you're building up to that moment. You're not just getting on the bike.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I just picture just getting on the bike and being like, I guess we're doing this.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, but you came dead last. And you were like, yeah, whatever. I had the experience.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I came dead last. But I mainly came dead last because I blew out one of my knees and you know those like, clip in bike shoes in the pedal. I rested my foot of the busted knee on the fork of my bike and used the other one to pedal nearly 50 miles.

[Fortune Feimster]

Whoa.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And I kept picturing that my right thigh was going to be three times the size of my left by the time I reached Portland, Maine. But that's not the only time. I just. In general, I just. I don't. I don't. I just don't feel. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Work.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Sports, any. Any of that kind of stuff. I'm just like. I just don't. I don't feel it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I think you should introduce in. Instead of 20 questions, I play Hide the Peanut, where one person hides a peanut, metaphorically, somewhere in the universe. And then you have yes or no questions to find this peanut could be in the past, the present, the future. It could be in a fictional place, a real place, and you'd be amazed how quickly you whittle down, like, the whole universe and find this peanut.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And you h. You have played this.

[Mae Martin]

This. I play it all the time.

[Unnamed Speaker]

All the time.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. It's. You got it all the time.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Try and pull May from the Hide the Peanut game.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll hide one right now if you want.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my Lord.

[Mae Martin]

I've hidden one.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I'm not good.

[Fortune Feimster]

So we have to guess where it is.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Yes or no questions.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is it in space?

[Mae Martin]

No.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Is it on Earth?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Okay, then what is it? That's how I am.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is it in Los Angeles?

[Mae Martin]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is it in California?

[Mae Martin]

No.

[Unnamed Speaker]

England?

[Mae Martin]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is it in Toronto?

[Mae Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay. Is it in the room with you now?

[Mae Martin]

Yes. Okay.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Just tell us.

[Mae Martin]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're so close it on. On your body?

[Mae Martin]

Yes, in a way.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I give up. What is it in a way?

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, Tig, we've narrowed it down so much.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I don't like games.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, by we, I mean me. You've contributed nothing.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I don't. I don't like games.

[Mae Martin]

Where do you think I would keep a peanut on my person?

[Unnamed Speaker]

In your shoe?

[Fortune Feimster]

In your ear.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Pocket?

[Fortune Feimster]

Is it in your hat? No.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Mouth.

[Mae Martin]

Think about the pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, under. Behind a picture frame? No, think about the Pontius.

[Unnamed Speaker]

It's in your ponies.

[Mae Martin]

It's in my Pontius.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I got it.

[Mae Martin]

Look at that.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I thought you were going to be.

[Fortune Feimster]

Useless, and then you really came through at the end.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That's truly how I play with Stephanie, when she's, like, wanting to do 20 questions with me, you know? And then I'll. I'll guess some things. I'm like, what? What is it? What is it?

[Mae Martin]

I don't just.

[Fortune Feimster]

You just give up. Yeah, I think I want to. There's a lot of games that I used to play that I've not played in many, many Years. And then I want to come back to playing again.

[Mae Martin]

Like what?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Hopscotch. Hopscotch. Well, this. Any.

[Fortune Feimster]

Any board game. And people will mention board games. I'm like, oh, I don't remember how that goes. Uno. I don't remember how that was played.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, me neither, actually.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. Just any kind of game.

[Mae Martin]

I wonder if we could make a handsome board game that's like Monopoly, but all the places are. You know, there's a pontoon. You can. Or, you know, a fun factory, actually. If anyone's listening and wants to make.

[Unnamed Speaker]

If anyone's listening.

[Fortune Feimster]

If anyone is listening to this pod, let us know.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I love that song.

[Mae Martin]

Papa, can you hear me?

[Fortune Feimster]

Papa, can you hear me? I should text Philip and ask Little Big Town to do a question.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Oh, yeah, hopefully.

[Fortune Feimster]

And tell them that Handsome's favorite pontoon song is on the pontoon.

[Mae Martin]

Well, why don't we get Barbra Streisand to ask a question?

[Fortune Feimster]

We don't have any contact with Barbra Streisand.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah. What brought up Barbra Streisand?

[Mae Martin]

Because of Yentl. Papa, can you hear me?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Oh, yeah, but we have to have some sort of In.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just in with Babs.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Oh, my God. If Babs sent in a video, I die.

[Tig Notaro]

Hello, handsome.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That would be. That's impossible, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

I think it's impossible. She's not really wanting to talk to anybody.

[Mae Martin]

I feel like it's actually more impossible than, say, Obama, Paul McCartney, like, the big name. Like, Babs is really unreachable.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think Oprah, she has, like, a mall in her house.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Where she can go. She has a mall in her basement where she can go shopping for antique dolls. I think, like, there's shops. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

My friends have been there because I did. I did this show called Life in Pieces. It was on CBS a few years back, and her husband was on the show, and Barbara invited the ladies of the show, but the series regulars to.

[Tig Notaro]

Their freaking house for lunch when they.

[Fortune Feimster]

Were doing the show, and they got to take a tour and see all this stuff. And I couldn't believe it.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was not, as I was a recurring character, but not a series regular. So I wasn't in that. But I would have died to go.

[Mae Martin]

Imagine having a mall in your mall in your house.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I would never.

[Fortune Feimster]

Very confused.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I'm so confused.

[Fortune Feimster]

Dog, I think. Right.

[Mae Martin]

She cloned her dog.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I can understand that. I can't understand having a mall in your house.

[Mae Martin]

Well, she wants to have a normal experience, and she can't just Go to the mall so she.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And that's a normal experience. Is having a mall in your house.

[Mae Martin]

Breeze like the corner of my mind.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I stand by Guilty.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sound like the best. I don't remember the words.

[Mae Martin]

I'm amazed that she's not on the pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

There is a jam. Tig, you're right.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Oh, my God. Guilty. And my favorite, favorite line or part of the song is that make it a crime to be lonely or sad.

[Fortune Feimster]

Make it a crime.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Make it a crime. Have the police pull over and lock you up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are you lonely or sad? This is illegal.

[Mae Martin]

But are they cheating on their spouses? And they're saying, we got. We don't have to be guilty, but.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is that what it's about?

[Mae Martin]

I think it's about an affair. And they're like, oh, no, sorry.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm gonna Google this.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Is Babs guilty?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Should Babs be guilty? I got an update for you guys. Oh, well, I don't know if it was on a minisode or if I was talking about how I have a foosball table. Did I tell you guys that? Yeah. And my. My friend Matt, who lives in my back house, he's like, incredible at foosball. And I played him thousands of times. I've only beat him three times. And it's really something he's good at. And so I googled, he's new to la. And I found a foosball competition in Angel City Brewery, and it's the only one in la. It's every Thursday. And I was like, matt, we should sign up. And boy, do we take it seriously. Every morning he's like, hey, buddy, do you mind practicing with me? Like, he was really driven. And we got dressed up. The day came, we were nervous. I was like, we're gonna be on their turf, whoever these foosball people are. Turf? Yeah. Like, they could be like jocks or savants. Like foosball savants. Anyway, guys, we won the tournament.

[Fortune Feimster]

What?

[Mae Martin]

You know why? Because no one else showed up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[Mae Martin]

Congr.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That's me.

[Mae Martin]

It was so embarrassing.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Mae Martin]

It was more embarrassing than losing. Was just waiting there with the sign up sheet at the bar. We signed up and just no one came. And so me and Matt just played.

[Fortune Feimster]

Dang.

[Mae Martin]

Where's the foosball community?

[Fortune Feimster]

Where? Well, do you know the comedian Kelsey Cook?

[Mae Martin]

Kelsey Cook?

[Fortune Feimster]

Y' all might not have crossed paths. She lives in Minneapolis now. She used to live in la, but she's an incredible foosball player and plays in, like, tournaments and stuff.

[Mae Martin]

So really, you know, so Is Lisa Gilroy. And. But she wins largely because her shit talk is so funny that you're like doubled over. She does this thing where she goes, you want it? You want it? Well, you can't have it.

[Unnamed Speaker]

So you're telling me Lisa Gilroy is funny?

[Mae Martin]

Oh, man. You want it. You want it, but you can't have it. I. And you can't. Like, your muscles get weak from laughing. It's a really good. But she is also a great player.

[Fortune Feimster]

I like that. The. The table shuffleboard game, you know, at a bar.

[Mae Martin]

The big.

[Fortune Feimster]

The big long one that you do with your hands. Yeah, with the salts. I love those. There you put. There's like salt on the board or whatever.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, to make it slide.

[Fortune Feimster]

It helps it slide. I love that game.

[Mae Martin]

Maybe I have to get one of those.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Are you going for a full on bachelor pad, Matt May?

[Mae Martin]

It's becoming. Do you almost call me Max?

[Unnamed Speaker]

I don't know. I just. My mouth is moving and sounds come out.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know.

[Mae Martin]

I am. It's becoming Peewee's Playhouse. My house.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's.

[Mae Martin]

I bought a Zoltar machine. I.

[Unnamed Speaker]

What is that?

[Mae Martin]

You know, like from big, that tells your fortune and Zoltar.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Oh, so you have one of those in your house?

[Mae Martin]

I thought I'd ordered a full size. It shows up. It's this big. It's. It's like.

[Unnamed Speaker]

You wanted full size.

[Mae Martin]

I wanted full size.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think the smaller one's better. No.

[Mae Martin]

Why?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Because it's.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because it's smaller. Giant head.

[Mae Martin]

I want the giant one.

[Fortune Feimster]

Funny. I gotta come to this bachelor pad at some point to see what's happening over there.

[Mae Martin]

I'll get that shuffle board game if it'll make you come. I mean, that's how.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cheer over here.

[Mae Martin]

So pure on it.

[Fortune Feimster]

So are you. Are you loving this house? It seems like this was a good investment, huh?

[Mae Martin]

Loving this house. Yeah, I really am.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And it feels like home now. Because I had asked you in the early days, is it feeling like home? You said no.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, it is feeling like home. Yeah. Yeah. And. And like a real homeowner. Like stuff is breaking and then I gotta get it fixed and I kind of like it all.

[Unnamed Speaker]

It's such a. I'm jealous of that feeling of the beginning of trying to make a house feel like a home. Like it's such a fun new experience.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, it really is.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Where you, like, go to bed at night at first. And you're like, oh, this is a strange room. This is. Where am I? And then boom. One day you are Home.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Yeah. And no one can kick you out. No landlord's gonna say as long as you pay your bills.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Well, I mean, did you buy your house outright? Because people could.

[Mae Martin]

What do you mean? No?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Do you have a mortgage?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

They could kick you out if you don't. Yeah, you have to keep paying.

[Mae Martin]

But I'm. Who's going to kick me out? The bank?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yes, they will take out.

[Mae Martin]

No, I mean. I mean, I'll pay the mortgage.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is mine. Thank you. Bye.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Bye. I already bought this. Get out of my house bank.

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[Fortune Feimster]

Like, you know, to check that you.

[Tig Notaro]

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[Unnamed Speaker]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Fortune Feimster]

So what are you waiting for?

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[Unnamed Speaker]

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[Fortune Feimster]

I still have so many things not on the walls at my house, and I've been here two and a half years.

[Mae Martin]

Yes. Maybe you need some big art. Some, like, a big giant.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know if I'll end up selling this place, and I kind of want something smaller.

[Mae Martin]

Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's.

[Unnamed Speaker]

It's too big.

[Fortune Feimster]

And now it's just me.

[Mae Martin]

So you want to move into my back house with Matt and his girlfriend?

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, that's definitely too small. I would like my. My last house, I adored. It was the best, and I made it exactly how I wanted it, but it was a little too small. So I want something in between these two.

[Mae Martin]

It's a good, like, fresh start. I mean, I. I was post breakup, bought the house, and it was distracting and felt empowering to like, make your space your own and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah, I'm not in a hurry. It might not be anytime soon, but.

[Mae Martin]

At some point, tell us that you're gonna bring that fake plant with you if you move.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is coming everywhere with me.

[Mae Martin]

I love.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is how I'm zhuzhing up my zoom box.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Where do I put my. My plastic plant?

[Fortune Feimster]

I might make this other room in here a little handsome spot with a chair and everything. You guys just wait to see.

[Unnamed Speaker]

What do you mean a handsome spot?

[Fortune Feimster]

Like a little corner of this room. I might put, like, a chair and, like, hang something up on the wall. Definitely the fake plant.

[Unnamed Speaker]

But I mean handsome, meaning when you record handsome.

[Fortune Feimster]

When I record, that will be my spot. Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Okay. All right.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right now, I'm just at my desk, but I might make a designated handsome spot.

[Mae Martin]

Do you think you'll ever move, Tig? Like when the boys go off to college or Whatever. Would you guys move?

[Unnamed Speaker]

We have talked about, you know, potentially selling our house when they graduate and just moving back into our office, which is, you know, just a little bungalow that we love very much.

[Mae Martin]

It's kind of a sexy vibe, the office. It's unusual, the layout. And there's, like. It's stained glass and stuff. Right? It's beautiful. Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, we really love it there. And we love where we live now. We just. I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but we have never, like, done our house because we moved in when Max and Finn were one and they were so nuts that we didn't even have furniture in the living room for the first, like, till they were two.

[Mae Martin]

You never, like, adultified the house.

[Unnamed Speaker]

No. And then by the time they finally kind of calmed down, we never put art on the walls. We just had these two little lunatics running around. And then by the time they kind of pulled it together, it was a pandemic. And then we couldn't even deal with, you know, shopping, doing our house, or having somebody come in. And then. So now we're getting to that place where we're like, Max and Finn are so chill and the pandemic's over and let's actually do something with our house.

[Mae Martin]

Did you ever watch those, like, extreme home makeover shows where, like, they always. They ask the kids what they're into, and then they'll say one thing and then they'll turn the room and, like, they'll go, I kind of like horses. And then they'll run with it, and they'll turn the bedroom into, like, a barn. And the kids always like, okay, I don't know if I'm that into horses. Yeah, maybe I'll redo your house. You tell me what you're into, and then I'll surprise you with Zoltar.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, Stephanie wouldn't. That wouldn't fly with her. She's not chill with what is in the house. So I know right away Zoltar wouldn't fly. Or any surprises.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Okay.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Not one surprise will fly. I mean, to be fair, I don't know that I'd want Zoltar in the house.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, that's fair. Maxim might be into him.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, I think. For sure. But maybe you could surprise them and put one in there. Well, you have to. They each have their own room. So it's two.

[Mae Martin]

That's two full size Zoltars.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That's great. Should we get into our question?

[Mae Martin]

Yes. I'm really excited about today's question. Asker I feel like this has been a long time coming because this is a friend of the pod, Alison Brie. Oh, I already gave away her name, but today's still a friend.

[Fortune Feimster]

Still listen to a handsome pod and is really awesome.

[Mae Martin]

She's the best. And she's an actor, writer, producer, best known for her starring roles on Mad Men and Community. She was nominated for a Golden Globe for playing Ruth on GLOW and has appeared in films like Somebody I Used to Know and Promising Young Woman and her new movie with her husband Dave Franco, together, which is apparently so terrifying. And I can't wait to see it. Alison Brie is asking today's question.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Nice.

Hi, handsomes. Alison Bri here. Huge fan. Tig May Fortune, Big fan of all three of you. Huge fan of the pod. Okay, this is Otis. My question is, was there ever a.

[Mae Martin]

Time.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Was there ever a time in your life where you consciously decided to try on a different personality and how did it go? I'll give you an example. That's not my answer, which is that a friend of mine in high school switched school schools, like sophomore year. And at the other school she went by her middle name and just had like a totally different personality. And then when she left that school, she just went back to using her regular name, her first name. Have you ever done anything like that? And how'd it go?

First of all, I did not realize that Alison Brie was going to be a part of Kitty City.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, she's a Kitty City girl. Otis. Otis was really getting in there.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I know. And I loved her attention to Otis when he came in for kisses when she was mid question. I mean, she's got her normal cap.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is that normal cat behavior? I thought they were more standoffish.

[Unnamed Speaker]

They can be standoffish, but man, can they be snuggly lovey dovey. And all three of our cats are very standoffish and lovey dovey.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've never had a cat.

[Mae Martin]

Otis had like a almost a dog vibe. Like that's a kind of a dog name, Otis.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, he was. Yeah, I love that question. Because I'm constantly paranoid that I'm accidentally changing my personality. Like, I feel like I have a loose grip on my personality and I'm. I'm up for it changing.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like it sort of is a easily influenced.

[Mae Martin]

Not as much anymore, but definitely as a teenager. Oh my God. Like, and, and really similar experience was I would go to summer camp every summer and I'd kind of decide who I was going to be or see when I got there. Like, yeah, what would be most useful socially? And I think I've said this on the pod, but I went to camp one summer and I go, yeah, I'm May, but everybody calls me Maple Sugar. And everyone was like, no, they don't. No one called me that. And it didn't catch on. And then I was always acting really tortured and kind of mysterious and like, yeah, I got some stuff going on.

[Tig Notaro]

Back home, you know, And.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Wait, what. What made you think Maple Sugar? What'd you say? Maple. Maple.

[Mae Martin]

Sugar.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Maple Sugar was cool, I think.

[Mae Martin]

Cause May Pearl is my first name.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yes. Which I love.

[Mae Martin]

Thanks. I think it was because it was middle school, so it was just in the two year period where I had long hair. The only time in my life. And I think I was keenly aware that I. I was not feminine enough, like, and all these cool girls were in my cabin. And I thought, maple Sugar sounds kind of like a cool femme name. Like, I would maybe be a cheerleader or something. And I did not fall it up for Maple Sugar, y'.

[Fortune Feimster]

All.

[Mae Martin]

It's such a long nickname too.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, it's like a drag name.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah. Three letter name. They call me this sentence.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you think you were, like, telling people you had a lot of stuff going on back home, hoping they would be like, what's going on? Tell. Tell us. Like, like an attention thing. Yes.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Would you tell them what was going on or would you make up, like, well, my dad's a bandit.

[Mae Martin]

And I think I did lie quite a bit in around that time, like middle school era. Like, I definitely fake boyfriend and. But it was.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Don't we all.

[Mae Martin]

Don't we all. It was like. It was this friend of mine, Cliff Cardinal. He wrote me a letter at camp. And then I decided to pretend that the letter was like my. From. He was just my friend.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like a. I had a crush on him.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. And I pretended it was like, there's some stuff going on with my boyfriend. Like, he's having a tough time. And I wouldn't let anyone read the letter. And. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You guys would not believe what is in this letter.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. And then burning it really quick so no one can read it.

[Unnamed Speaker]

It's very private. Don't even ask.

[Mae Martin]

And the letter is like, hey, bro, hope you're having a good time. Yeah. What about you guys? Like, I take. I feel like you were genuinely, to your core that. That cowboy person. So you weren't. It wasn't. It wasn't an affectation.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I mean, I definitely leaned more into it and, you know, I. I Was a little rebel chip on my shoulder. I'm still working through all of it as an adult. You have to have your little shell to protect you and use your whatever personality, part of your personality to hide everything. Yeah, but I was really the kid that was off in the woods and in the creek and smoking and failing and sneaking out of the house and doing all that, you know, driving around in the car without a license when I could barely look over the steering wheel. Like that is all factual. I have many people that can back up all of this information about me. But I would say, like, on an unfortunate, kind of like, really unfortunate level, the times that I have changed my personality has been when I've felt fearful, you know, in like a public bathroom or something, you know, you get like weird looks or, you know, how do you. Who are you? How do you identify? And I've noticed myself sometimes trying to like, fem it up a little bit when I go in the bathroom, you know, and then I just think, God, it's so pathetic that I would have to do that. So no real funny story there. But yeah, that's really the time that I notice it the most. And that's a point that I always use to people that any sort of confusion somebody has around trans people or non binary people, it's like it ends up policing all.

[Mae Martin]

All women.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Everybody.

[Mae Martin]

CIS women as well.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Everybody, Everybody. You know, and so, yeah, it's. It's just a weird little moment in life where I'm like, excuse me. Not really.

[Mae Martin]

Excuse me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm just trying to get in the stall.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I just have to go pee.

Pee. I have to tingle.

I can't believe I didn't wear my dress today because it'd be so much easier to just fling that thing up in the air.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've been called sir in several bathrooms. And I'm like, really?

[Unnamed Speaker]

You get called sir?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've had a woman once in the airport bathroom be like, this is the women's restroom. I'm like, yep, I know.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I've said the same thing. I'm like, oh, that works out perfectly.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, yeah. It always feels like a minefield to me. Constantly on guard. Did you guys ever, when you first started comedy, like, and you're in. In love with comedy and you're in green rooms with more experienced comedians, like, try to adopt the Persona of a comedian, almost like, like, yeah, good, good set. Yeah, I like the tag, like, you know what I mean? Like, I, I was so excited to be part of that community that I'm sure I was like, you know, with my little notebook and trying to.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And then dropping your voice a little like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice, nice. Sweet.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That doesn't feel familiar. It doesn't feel as familiar as me saying, excuse me, I just have to get a tampon out of my purse.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I gotta plug my cooter.

[Mae Martin]

I gotta plug my cooter.

[Unnamed Speaker]

You hear that? In a stall in the bathroom. Gotta plug my cooter.

[Tig Notaro]

You've heard me say it on the pod. I'm out here slingin bras and I'm proud to do it because our sponsor, HoneyLove makes the best bras around. Honeylove bras are so comfy, you'll forget you're wearing them. But what you won't forget is that they're the highest quality, most supportive bras you can get. Here's what I love about honeylove. They're inclusive. They got bras for all shapes and sizes. You can do so much better than your current bra. With summer here, you're going to immediately feel the benefits of HoneyLove's lightweight, breathable designs.

[Unnamed Speaker]

So treat yourself to 20% off your entire order by heading to honeylove.com handsome Treat yourself to the most comfortable and innovative bras on earth and save 20% off site [e-mail] Handsome use our exclusive link to get 20% off honeylove.com Handsome after you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Experience the new standard in bras with Honey Love.

[Tig Notaro]

If you love comedy, conversation and hearing famous people get a little too honest, you'll want to check out Armchair Expert. Every Monday and Wednesday, hosts Dax Shepard and Monica Padman sit down with actors, comedians, scientists, really anyone interesting for honest, curious and hilarious conversations about life. But some of the funniest moments, they come from listeners. Every Friday, Dax and Monica listen to outrageous, awkward and deeply human stories from fans on the phone in real time on their Armchair Anonymous series.

[Unnamed Speaker]

From disastrous dates to family secrets, accidentally joining a cult and a poop disaster, you won't believe they've heard it all. It's relatable, chaotic, and laugh out loud funny. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe to armchair expert on YouTube.

[Mae Martin]

Lately, I've been trying to clean up the way I shop for myself. I've been finding healthy options that fit my budget and actually work for me. I was tired of overpaying for so called better for you groceries and still having to scan every label. That's when I gave Thrive Market a try. And honestly, it's been a total game changer.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Thrive Market is like your favorite health.

Food store, but online and way more affordable.

I'm talking about premium brands like Simply.

Organic, Karma Rao's and more. Lately my family's been loving Thrive's raw sprouted organic granola made with just nine ingredients.

[Mae Martin]

Take care of your health and your wallet. Thrive Market's biggest sale of the summer is officially on. So for a limited time go to thrivemarket.com handsome to get 30 off your first order and an extra 25 off thousands of summer essentials. Plus a free 60 gift for just signing up. That's thrivemarket.com handsome to claim the offer before it's gone. Thrivemarket.com handsome fortune what about going to college after living in a small town? Like, yeah, like that's a chance to be a different person.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was like cognizant of like not changing too much because my mom, she listens to this, like, why are you bringing this up? But my mom used to back in the day, whenever she would, after my parents divorce, she went through a couple relationships and in those relationships she significantly changed to be who she thought that, that, that those particular men wanted her to be. So that always bugged me because I was just, I didn't understand it. I was young and I was like, why are you being somebody you're not? And in the most extreme version of that one was he was very conservative. I talked about this in my sweet and salty special where he just like, my family had gone to Hooters their whole life and he just was like, oh yeah, yeah, not into that stuff. And she was like, I have never been to Hooters in front of him. And although I have been to Cooters and even though that story is very funny, it's based on her completely changing for this person. Yeah, so I always had that in the back of my head of like not veering too far off. But you know, when you're young, you're still kind of trying to find yourself, so you have to sort of try on different hats to see, like, well, who am I? And so younger days, sports was a big part of my personality. But then in college I had this weird thing. I hung out with a lot of church going people and so I kind of tried that on for a while. Like, oh, I'm a church gal. And yeah, that was probably the most, the biggest swing away from my personality.

[Unnamed Speaker]

But you do love the Lord, right?

[Tig Notaro]

I love the Lord.

[Mae Martin]

But you're just looking for community, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

I think I was looking for community and, and my family was pretty fractured at the time. My grandmother had just passed and, and I was a bit lost. So my, my grandmother died the day after I moved into college. So I was experiencing this brand new school. I didn't know anybody. I was lost. I was sad. And so those are the times when you're the most susceptible to any influence. And so I met some really great people who were religious and kind of was like, well, let me see what they're doing. I like hanging out with them. And their church was all about family and stuff. And I think it like made me want family and crave that. And so I thought, well, if I do that, then I can have. I can create a family for myself one day. And just, you know, eventually realized that, oh, this is not me at all. But yeah, and then I tried like theater in college too. And maybe I'm a theater kid and I liked it, but it was in, in the irony is that I act now, but I'm not a theater kid. Really.

[Mae Martin]

I feel like you got some theater kid and you like a musical.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love a musical.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But you know, that dramatic, like.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, right.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like expressing yourself in what. In big ways. I'm not quite that. And so then when I moved to. When I eventually moved to la, it was when I came out, I think was like, anything up until coming out was like, I'm sort of blown with the wind here.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I come out and then I'm like, oh, I know, I know who I am. And I'm. And it just set me on this journey of like, like being so much more comfortable in my own skin, doing what I wanted to do, not trying to fit in elsewhere or, you know, it just. That was the thing that really set me on my path.

[Mae Martin]

You took off your bonnet and took off my.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then. And I would say right in this present day time, going through all the changes I'm going through, the one thing I've realized is I know myself better than I ever have and I am so much clearer on what I want.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That's great.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've ever been.

[Mae Martin]

I guess it keeps changing your whole life. Till. Till you croak. Right? We're. Yeah. And that fluidity is so important.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

When you started doing comedy, did you guys try different? Like, I feel like I just impersonated other comedians sometimes if I got excited about a stage, like, like Trying to be like Bill Hicks or whatever when I was like 14. And that's like, that's not me.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Oh, my gosh. Can you get me some video of you, 14, doing your best, Bill Hicks?

[Mae Martin]

Well, I used to smoke cigarettes on stage. Because you could still do that when you were 14. Yes. And I did one time get booed off stage because.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And do you have footage of this? Because I'm gonna need to see it.

[Fortune Feimster]

You got booed off stage because they didn't like you smoking?

[Mae Martin]

It was a New Year's Eve show. I was 16, and me and my boyfriend at the time did like two person stand up. He. He was much older. We said we were siblings. It was weird. But anyway, we were smoking and we were just very like misanthropic and negative. And we didn't realize that people had paid for this. A hundred dollars for this New Year's Eve gala. And everyone was making a real effort and we'd barely prepared anything. And we were smoking. We thought we were so cool. And everyone was like, why is this child smoking? And. And so they started going, nah, enough. And they were right. They were like, enough for this.

[Unnamed Speaker]

First of all, why aren't children smoking as a child? I don't know how. Like, we were watching a movie the other night with Max and Finn and there was chewing tobacco that some of the kids in the movie were chewing. And Max and Finn are like, what is chewing tobacco? They're nine. And I was chewing tobacco, I was dipping, I was smoking. If I couldn't get my hands on any of that stuff, I would roll coffee grounds in typing paper. I was just like, how on earth. I'm truly looking at them like they are aliens. You don't know what chewing tobacco is.

[Mae Martin]

But these younger generations are much more pure than we were.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think.

[Mae Martin]

It's not in. It's not in movies as much. Like, what were you watching, the Sandlot Kids or something?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, we were watching Sandlot.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, I want to rewatch it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I used to watch the Sandlot back in the day.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

But they're just like. And they have questions about cigarettes. And I'm like, yeah, I guess I don't know where they would have ever run off and experimented with anything like that because my parents were certainly not keeping an eye on me.

[Fortune Feimster]

But cigarettes are way more taboo now than back then. Back then, I felt like people just smoked all the time.

[Unnamed Speaker]

It was taboo for me to be eight smoking cigarettes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, eight, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's wild.

[Mae Martin]

My parents smoked in the House. And. Yeah, it was very. It was. I mean, there's every restaurant you go to and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, but I did not miss those days.

[Mae Martin]

Did you always have the same style on stage or in the beginning, were you like, hey, everybody, what's up? I'm Tig.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I got it.

[Mae Martin]

I can't imagine that.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, I. I feel like. I mean, I was so influenced by Paula Poundstone. I always. I love Paula Poundstone's ability to write just such a solid, silly joke and then also be able to do the most tremendous crowd interaction.

[Fortune Feimster]

All the crowd work is unbelievable.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I mean, unreal. And, I mean, I used to. She was the one comedian I would always go see. I would never miss a Paula Poundstone concert, no matter where I live, no matter how old I was.

[Mae Martin]

Really?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. And she's just ridiculous. But that was my goal, was to be a good storyteller, joke writer, and be able to interact with the audience. And I don't know that I ever felt like, oh, I'm just a carbon copy of Paula Poundstone. I was never in suspenders and a bow tie or anything like that, which thank God she's still wearing to this day. She has not. She is Paula Poundstone through and through.

[Mae Martin]

She was born in suspenders.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Oh, my God. This person is Paula Poundstone. I mean, her name says what she. I don't. I don't. You know what I mean?

[Mae Martin]

Like, yeah, you gotta be a comedian.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, you are Paula. This is Paula Poundstone. Anyway, you know, I certainly had moments like I was very in, like, more recent comedy influence. I certainly loved Mitch Hedberg.

[Mae Martin]

Yes. Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I mean, you know, even though I wasn't dry and.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah. It just spoke to me. It definitely spoke to me.

[Mae Martin]

It takes confidence, I think, to sit, to be okay with silence, to be slow like that. And so I feel like it would take it. Yeah. I'm still not there where I can do that, but, like, did it take you a while to settle and to know you had the skill to, like, sit in that and then pull people out of it?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Well, I think for myself, like, as a comedian, all the different things I've tried, from joke writing to storytelling, I've done prop stuff. Not, like, in a traditional way of, like, I roll out a case. Yeah. But I want to try everything. And then I feel like all of those roads that you go down, you still. Even if it's such a leap from another type of comedy, you still find your voice in there. And I think that that's what I realized was every road I Went down. Here's my voice.

Here's my voice.

So I can do whatever I want to do.

[Mae Martin]

You know what I liked? I just, I keep talking about it because I'm obsessed, but the Pee Wee Herman documentary, the Paul Rubens documentary, I didn't realize that Pee Wee started as a kid character who was a stand up comedian who was doing it for the first time and showing and had props that were his toys. He was kind of like almost like a child stand. So he was in the peewee suit and he'd go out and. And do bad stand up and pull out like, you know, a dinosaur toy and show the audience and stuff. But I love that. That was the genesis.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think he started at the Groundlings.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, you got to watch that doc.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I'll have to check it out. I for sure want to see that.

[Mae Martin]

And by the way, when I was in Nantucket, multiple people were coming up to me to talk about your doc.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, really?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. They were coming up going, hey, I just saw Tig's doc and I wept throughout and I was like, great. Yeah, people are talking about it.

[Fortune Feimster]

You find that they. Oh, the nude. I was thinking of Tig.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I was thinking, yeah, no, the Andrea Gibson documentary.

[Fortune Feimster]

I want to see it.

[Unnamed Speaker]

You will. We're going to have a screening in LA and then Apple bought it. So we're all very excited that it's going to reach a wider audience. But it's. Man, is it life affirming. And it really. I say to everyone, it's impossible to not walk out of that theater and think, what have I been doing with my life? Oh, my God. I mean, true, but like, in the most inspiring, exciting way. Of course. You have all these emotions about Andrea and their partner Meg, and. And all these intense, deep, but also so many funny moments, but it's just so beautiful and it's just still killing it on the festival circuit. It's crazy. It's crazy, crazy, crazy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Well, I'm really looking forward to seeing it.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah. Yeah, thanks for bringing that up because tell your friends if you've seen it, because it's really worth it seeing and so much, like so perfectly time for a big heaping pile of compassion in this world.

[Mae Martin]

Yes.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Is what I've seen happen through this film.

[Mae Martin]

I kind of feel like, because it is mainly teenagers and kids that are trying on different personalities like that. And I kind of feel like that's. That's a pretty healthy way to be because we're, we're not our personalities. Like that is. Even if it's so authentic to you and not on purpose. It is sort of a performance or it's an accumulation of influences and experiences. And there is like a. A core. Anyway, I just think maybe we should all be a bit more fluid about our personalities. You could wake up tomorrow, brand new day. You go, I'm really sarcastic today. Or like, I'm. I'm going to be a ray of sunshine and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, well, you don't really know how you feel about something or if you're into something unless you try it. So I'm always like, I always think, especially younger people, like, why not sign up for this thing or join this club or play that sport or be in that play, like, give it a shot.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And I stand by. There is nothing better than finding out what you cannot stand and who you are. Not even more so than who you are. You know, Like, I love finding out the stuff I. I never want to do again or I don't want to be in that world.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

You know, or whatever. Whatever it is. I'm like, I love that as much as I love finding things that I. That make me happy. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

We tell ourselves so young, we start telling ourselves stories about ourselves, like, I'm bad at math, or like I'm, you know, I'm funny, or I'm, you know, and. And then that's like a little coffin for yourself, you know, you gotta break out of it.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I do stand by. I am bad at math. And no, my brain just oozes out of my ears as soon as I look at X plus Y times. Blah, blah, blah.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, blah, blah. You just get a handle on math in school and then they introduce letters and words to. To it, and it's like, it's not fair. Why? Yeah. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And now. Now my mom is being totally herself, but she has also been single for a very long time.

[Mae Martin]

That's. There's something to be said for the single life in terms of really being yourself. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Has your mother ever gotten on apps to date?

[Fortune Feimster]

She did it back in the day, I think when she met her first boyfriend after divorce. It wasn't in an app, but they. You used to put ads in the newspaper.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That's so Right.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

No pictures, nothing. You just looking at each other's grammar. But yeah, she. I believe they met that way.

[Mae Martin]

Didn't there used to be a thing where you. Can you leave a. A voicemail that's like, hi, I'm May. I like, you know, I think maybe.

[Fortune Feimster]

Back in the day there was something like that.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And wait a Minute. Right. So people would put an ad in the paper and you don't have a clue what this person looks like? Yeah. No, you just show up and there is someone that likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I. When I first came out, Craigslist was super popular. Especially. I don't know if it was just in la, but. But everybody was on Craigslist at the time. And I, I found like a soccer team and a softball league. I found Ultimate Frisbee. I. I'm still friends with some of the people I met during these Craigslist days, but I. I went on a couple dates via Craigslist ads. And no. It was the no picture days.

[Mae Martin]

And was it, what, was it shocking when you arrived?

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, not one person was it. It wasn looks. But not one person was my type or had anything in common. I went on three days, shot in the dark. Could not get out of all of them fast enough.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then I was like, I'm not doing this again.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Do you know what? I think I'm remembering this story correctly. But of course, who knows? But let's just assume I am, you know the comedian and writer Jesse Klein.

[Mae Martin]

No, actually.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Okay. She's so funny, but she, She. I ran into her. I can't remember where I ran into her, but this was several years ago. She saw a guy in like an airport or a grocery store or something. Probably. You know what? Probably an airport. I think they were running to their flights. And she thought to herself, what if he saw me? And felt the same, because she thought she saw a little. Some look in each other's eye type thing. He put an ad in the paper and they reconnected.

[Mae Martin]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yes. Yes, yes. This is an actual story. And they weren't a match. Ultimately, I think he was like a tennis player. I can't believe I remember the details. I was so blown away because they did not talk. Wow.

[Fortune Feimster]

They just happened.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Glanced.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know the actor Coleman Domingo?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

He has been with his husband now, I think, like 14 years. They walked past each other on a street and like kind of both clocked each other and did. I don't know, maybe it was Craigslist. I don't. One of those sites. They put a misconnection in there and somehow they saw it.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Each. Wow.

[Fortune Feimster]

Got together. Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Wow.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's like a needle on a haystack.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That's like. Absolutely.

[Mae Martin]

We gotta bring that back. The Ms. Misconnections, we've gotten off track.

[Fortune Feimster]

There's no. There's nowhere for miss I don't know where people go for misconnections now.

[Mae Martin]

There's no website or something.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah, but that was a big thing on Craigslist, too, was a whole. Misconnections.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Let's start a handsome mission connection website. There we are. We found it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, no, another thing on the list that I don't know if we're gonna get to it.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Well, should we hear what Allison has to say? Even though we went so far away. That's.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's what we do here.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That is what we do here. That's. That is the business we are in. Alison, tell us. Tell us.

Yeah, I've honestly probably done that a bunch. But a time that comes to mind is when I was in college. I did a semester abroad in Glasgow, Scotland. So I went to a really small school, CalArts. It was super incestuous and gossipy. And when I did this semester abroad at an even smaller school, the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama, I made a conscious decision to just have a. A more free personality, I guess. I. I just didn't want to be self conscious in any way. And I figured, you know, I'm just gonna. You know, I'm just gonna be going.

To school with these people for, like.

Three to four months. Who cares? Like, what if I got to lose? I should just be, like, the freest version of myself. And so I did. I just would, like, the whole time I was in Glasgow, Scotland, I was having, honestly, the best time and. And almost being, like, my truest self, literally would, you know, with headphones in, I would dance down the streets, just dancing down the sidewalks. And in class, I was always, like, the first person to. Oh, my God. Maxi wants to be involved in this question as well. The first person to volunteer to try something, like improvised capoeira, just, like, put me in coach, like, game for anything. And the students there were like, are you like this all the time? And I was like, no, not really.

But once I did it this semester.

I would say the effect it had was that I realized that that actually is kind of my truest self and my truest personality. And so I just tried to kind of retain a lot of that in my life moving forward. And I think. I think that I have. It's a good way to be anyway.

That's great.

[Mae Martin]

All right, Love ya.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Bye. Love you. Mean it?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And you come across people in your life, too, that help bring that out of you as well. That's always nice.

[Unnamed Speaker]

It is weird when somebody brings out a side of you that yeah, you rarely.

[Mae Martin]

To never see the goofiest side, the better. Like, I went to a dinner party with my friend Matt, and I guess we'd been very respectable at the dinner party, talking to people we'd never met. You know, getting to know people. And then we left. And as we were walking to the Uber, he. He goes, time to be weird. And I was like, yes, that's what I want in a friend. Oh, that's a great answer, though, from her. Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, it is.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's nice to feel free like that, where you're like, just not really editing yourself and. Yeah. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I love Put Me in, coach.

[Fortune Feimster]

Put me in. I think about trying. I think about my days of attempting to be straight. That was a fun.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That was a fun challenge. I can't accept that. I can't accept that.

[Mae Martin]

Hey, guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

What are you doing? That's what Tig's bathroom voice.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, we bump into each other in the bathroom. Oh, excuse me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm sorry. I'm on a date. Oh, my God.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I love your flannel. Where'd you get that? Girl?

[Mae Martin]

I love your lip taint.

[Fortune Feimster]

We got a Forever 21.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Sweet.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is. Is why I did not go on many dates with guys. My best acting work to date.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I know. I was going to say, that's so perfect for Allison. Just like, act like a whole different person.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then.

[Mae Martin]

And then find out what parts of that you want to retain. Yeah, I like that.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Well, I was just going to talk about what's next. What we're. What we're up to. I'm guest hosting Jimmy Kimmel the. His late night talk show next week, July 20th.

[Tig Notaro]

Let's see, 22nd through 24th.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'll be a late night talk show.

[Tig Notaro]

Host for three nights.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That is so exciting.

[Mae Martin]

Can you slip in a. Keep it handsome?

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. I gotta. I gotta. So I hope our handsome listeners will tune in. I'm a little nervous, but very excited. I'll be wearing some suits and interviewing some fun people.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Are you gonna bring back your pink suit?

[Fortune Feimster]

Not the pink suit. Gonna do something different, but.

[Unnamed Speaker]

All right.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I'm pumped. This is a really cool opportunity.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Absolutely amazing. Can't wait to see.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then I just have stand up July 20th in Edmonton with Mateo Lane. Montreal. July 26th. And then starting in September, San Antonio, Houston, Norfolk, Richmond, D.C. atlanta, New Orleans. All those good places.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Excellent places.

[Mae Martin]

I'll see you in Montreal.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. May. May and I are doing a gala together in Montreal, which I love. Montreal. Oh, my God, it's such a great city.

[Unnamed Speaker]

It's so great.

[Mae Martin]

It's I'll be there also the night before on the 25th doing a show at the Olympia for Just for Laughs. But other than that, just check out I got two new songs out on my Earnest Music album, I'm a tv. I got two new sad songs that I added to it so they're on Spotify. And spread the word. Tell your pals. What about you, Tig?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Well, I'd love to share with you. August 17th, I'll be at the West Hampton Beach Performing Arts center in Westampton Beach, New York. August 23rd, I'll be in P Town at the Provincetown Town hall. And then September 27th, Beau Rivage Resort and Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi. But yeah. Oh, and please share your favorite episode. Also Review and subscribe subscribe to the podcast and also to our YouTube page. This is a great community and we.

Feel very lucky for all of you.

And so let's keep growing it, shall we?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, great.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Until next time, keep it handsome.

[Mae Martin]

Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] and please follow us on social media. ANSOMEPOD what a podcast. What a podcast.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That was a headgum podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Like, you know to check that when you're headed out to stargaze, you bring a blanket. You don't want to get soggy lying in a dewy field all night with your stargazing buddies.

[Tig Notaro]

Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.