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- [00:02]
Tig Notaro
This is a headgun podcast.
- [00:05]
Fortune Feimster
Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First.
- [00:10]
Tig Notaro
Like, you know to check that you invite the neighbors to your backyard cookout. If they're gonna smell your barbecue, they should get a chance to eat it, too.
- [00:18]
Fortune Feimster
Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate Savings varies, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illino Handsomes.
- [00:33]
Tig Notaro
Let's talk something really handsome. Makeup. You know that we as podcast hosts keep up on the latest trends and viral looks. That's why we're excited to talk about our new sponsor, Thrive Cosmetics.
- [00:51]
Fortune Feimster
Here's what I love most about Thrive Cosmetics. For every product purchase, they donate products and funds to help communities Thrive. Thrive Cosmetics has donated over $150 million worth of product and cash funds to over 600 giving partners across the U.S.
- [01:07]
Tig Notaro
Another thing I love about Thrive Cosmetics is their Liquid Lash Extensions mascara. You heard me. They sent me some of this mascara and I tried it. What I love most about it, hear me out. Is that it's vegan.
- [01:24]
Fortune Feimster
Discover, your new trusty favorite from Thrive Cosmetics. Luxury beauty that gives back. Right now, you can get an exclusive 20% off your first order at Thrive cosmetics.com handsome. That's Thrive cosmetics. C A U S E M E t I c s.com Handsome. For 20% off your first order. Handsome. Chatting with friends on the Handsome pot. Chatting with friends on the Handsome pot.
- [01:57]
May Martin
Cheers.
- [01:59]
Tig Notaro
Hello, it's your friend Tig Notaro on the Handsome podcast here with my co.
- [02:05]
Fortune Feimster
Hosts, May Martin and Fortune Beamster.
- [02:09]
May Martin
Welcome, welcome. May I take your order?
- [02:14]
Tig Notaro
Yes, please. Where are you right now, Fortune?
- [02:17]
May Martin
I am filming a movie in Atlanta.
- [02:20]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, nice.
- [02:22]
May Martin
With Will Ferrell. Cool.
- [02:24]
Tig Notaro
How's it going?
- [02:25]
May Martin
I just got here last night, so so far nothing's happened till my lovely call time at 5:30 tomorrow morning.
- [02:35]
Fortune Feimster
Do you know your lines?
- [02:37]
May Martin
I will tonight.
- [02:39]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [02:40]
Tig Notaro
Is that how you do your lines? Do you do it the night before or do you do it in the makeup chair? Or do you work up slowly? Tell us your process.
- [02:50]
Fortune Feimster
Please tell us your process.
- [02:51]
May Martin
On a movie like this, where it's not like crazy big chunks of lines, I'll look like two days ahead and see, like, if there's anything that I really need to dig into. And if it's not too bad, then I'll do it the day before, the night before, and then again in the makeup trailer. But on fubar. I had like really long, like really long things. So I would. They would print out a thing for me for the week that I would be studying all week.
- [03:19]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. All your action terminology and.
- [03:21]
May Martin
That's right.
- [03:22]
Fortune Feimster
Well, we got the. We got the. Oh, I actually can't think of anything. Yeah, we got the. We're zooming in on the.
- [03:32]
May Martin
Truth be told, I can't tell you one line that I had.
- [03:36]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [03:37]
May Martin
Because it's all short term memory. I. I learn it really quickly and then release it as soon as the scenes done.
- [03:45]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, Same thing.
- [03:46]
Fortune Feimster
Are you. My dream, if I was working with Will Ferrell, would be because his bloopers are so iconic. I. My dream would be to be part of a blooper. Like part of a unscripted moment where I get. I make him laugh or something.
- [03:58]
Tig Notaro
Where do you see Will Frell's bloopers if you haven't worked with him?
- [04:02]
Fortune Feimster
Let me tell you, it's when I'm sad, I get on YouTube and I will search literally Will Ferrell bloopers.
- [04:08]
Tig Notaro
Oh, okay.
- [04:09]
May Martin
He is so funny. I did the. His last movie with him, but my big scenes with him and Reese got cut. But it was them making it up.
- [04:20]
Tig Notaro
To you, I guess.
- [04:22]
May Martin
And then. But we had a funny behind. They did some behind the scenes videos where he and I was. They were interviewing me and then he. And comes up and interrupts me and starts doing bits with me, which is like my dream.
- [04:36]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [04:36]
May Martin
And then Reese comes up and does bits with the both of us. And I'm doing bits with Will and Reese Witherspoon. And I don't know where this footage is. I've not seen it anywhere. And I'm like, I would.
- [04:48]
Tig Notaro
Maybe it never happened.
- [04:49]
May Martin
No, I know it did. And we were all doing bits. I'm like, this is a dream scenario for me. But I haven't. I have no idea where that footage went.
- [04:58]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, you need that. Track that down.
- [05:01]
Tig Notaro
And so is this movie. Are you and. And Will, are you the two stars of the movie?
- [05:08]
May Martin
No, that I am. I am. Another small part. This. It's him and Zac Efron and Regina Hall. They're the main ones.
- [05:17]
Tig Notaro
And what is your character?
- [05:19]
May Martin
I play a cop, obviously.
- [05:24]
Tig Notaro
Have you played a cop?
- [05:25]
May Martin
I'm a CIA agent in fubar. This might be my first cop role.
- [05:31]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [05:31]
May Martin
I'm trying to think. Yeah.
- [05:33]
Tig Notaro
And are you going far out of the Fortune personality? Are you some character? It's just fortune and fortune as a cop.
- [05:41]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, Fortune the cop.
- [05:43]
May Martin
Fortune the cop. I went on set today and had my fitting for my cop outfit, and I said, I am playing a sexy cop. Right. And they were like, obviously.
- [05:54]
Tig Notaro
And did you feel pretty gay?
- [05:57]
May Martin
Yeah, pretty gay.
- [05:59]
Fortune Feimster
What, just because of the uniform?
- [06:00]
Tig Notaro
I mean, I fit in a cop uniform. I have to say it. It ramped up my homosexuality. Yeah. When I glanced at myself, I was like, this is pretty gay.
- [06:12]
May Martin
At first they put that. The. The hat on you. That's like the, like, folded one cop hat, and I look so stupid. I was like, you push back on the hat, stupid. And then they put, like, a ball cap on me. I was like, oh, that's way better.
- [06:27]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [06:29]
Tig Notaro
Can we see the picture of you in the stupid.
- [06:31]
May Martin
I didn't take a picture of it.
- [06:32]
Tig Notaro
Can you put it back on your head and take a picture and send it to you?
- [06:35]
Fortune Feimster
I'm imagining it really clearly, a little. But I think in my mind, it's pretty cute. It's like a little page boy kind of.
- [06:42]
May Martin
I. It was funny. I was talking with Will, and we were just chatting away, and he was in his costume, and. And then all of a sudden, I think I was a good 10 minutes into talking with him when I looked down, and he's in spandex, and I had no clue.
- [07:00]
Tig Notaro
And was that sexy, or was it fun beyond sex?
- [07:04]
May Martin
See?
- [07:05]
Tig Notaro
Okay.
- [07:05]
May Martin
Heck, yeah.
- [07:06]
Fortune Feimster
How are you doing, Tig? What's going on with you?
- [07:08]
Tig Notaro
What is going on with me?
- [07:10]
Fortune Feimster
Speaking of sexy.
- [07:11]
Tig Notaro
Yes. Speaking of sexy. I feel like I've. I feel like I've been up to something and doing things. For sure.
- [07:21]
May Martin
That's it. Riveting.
- [07:22]
Tig Notaro
I mean, I'm. We're pretty neck deep. Always in baseball at our house and. And outside of the house and base and games. Games. A lot of practices. A lot of games. A lot of double headers.
- [07:39]
May Martin
Did you have a. A Mother's Day celebration of any sorts?
- [07:43]
Tig Notaro
We did. We had a Mother's Day celebration. We went to one of our favorite vegan restaurants, and it disappointed.
- [07:55]
Fortune Feimster
No scandal.
- [07:57]
Tig Notaro
Wow. It was such a bummer. It was the fourth or fifth time we've gone to this particular vegan restaurant. That is very nice. Yeah, it is one of the top vegan restaurants.
- [08:09]
May Martin
Oh, wow.
- [08:11]
Tig Notaro
Every time. It is the worst service.
- [08:16]
May Martin
I wonder if it's the place I've been to that wouldn't accept my gift card. I'm not gonna name the place.
- [08:23]
Tig Notaro
Okay, I'll name the place. And we're gonna bleep it. But it is.
- [08:27]
May Martin
Okay.
- [08:28]
Tig Notaro
And it's in Marina Del Rey.
- [08:31]
May Martin
And.
- [08:32]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. So Max and Finn it's just a bummer because it's like, you're looking forward to it.
- [08:37]
May Martin
It's.
- [08:38]
Tig Notaro
It's your big special day. The kids are excited to take you out. Everyone get. Huh?
- [08:45]
May Martin
Are they paid?
- [08:45]
Tig Notaro
They paid. Yeah. There's so much not paying that anytime money comes up, they always tell you how broke they are.
- [08:55]
Fortune Feimster
That's so good.
- [08:56]
Tig Notaro
They're like, can I get a debit card?
- [08:58]
Fortune Feimster
They're like, I am stretched thin right now, truly.
- [09:01]
Tig Notaro
They're like, we are. Bills do. Yeah.
- [09:04]
Fortune Feimster
Wait, Tig, if the. The restaurant's. It's had bad service for the past four times.
- [09:09]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [09:09]
Fortune Feimster
So what were you expecting?
- [09:11]
May Martin
The food's probably really good, right?
- [09:13]
Tig Notaro
The food is so good, and we have such high hopes that it's just a freak experience. And this time, the waiter was like, at the end. At the end of the day, after the end of the meal, when he's giving us our. Or when we're finally. After. We were finally able to track him down, he's like, hey, and sorry, you know, things are really busy today, and it's like, it's Mother's Day. Wouldn't they be on top of that, that it's going to be busy? But also for the four other times we've gone, what was the excuse there?
- [09:48]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, they're like, sorry, It's.
- [09:50]
Tig Notaro
We'll bring more napkins. Never came. We'll do this, we'll do that. And it's just. It's like, whatever. There's much bigger problems in the.
- [09:59]
Fortune Feimster
I don't think so.
- [10:01]
Tig Notaro
Well, in the moment, we think there's not. But I feel like Stephanie and I are very. We're nice to wait staff. We tip well. We're patient, we're understanding. I worked in the restaurant world for many years, so there's a lot of leeway. This is endlessly bad service. You can't find them. They don't refresh your drinks. You can't find them to pay the. The bill. It's just all the wrong food. It's. It's. It's like. It's endless. So that's how our Mother's Day was. But we. We walked around and. And looked at the water and, you know, just watched a movie and lounged around, had a relaxing day. Max and Finn were playing catch in the backyard, which is one of my favorite. I mean, Finn's so good at pitching, and Max is so good at catching. And to see them in the backyard, just satisfying. It is so. It makes it so much more yin and yang. Just brothers. Just Just. It was. Yeah. So aside from the actual brunch that we were all building up, it. You know what it actually did. It made me feel bad for people who are taking their mothers out. And let's say somebody's sick or. Or their mother's very elderly, or you. Maybe that will be your last Mother's Day or something. It's like. I don't mean to take it to a really depressing place, but, like. But I did think about that or somebody coming in town. You know what I mean?
- [11:45]
May Martin
It's like a special meal, for sure.
- [11:48]
Tig Notaro
And I think about it as a comedian when I go and do a show, I don't take it for granted. I know people get babysitters. I know they maybe paid for an Uber to get there. So I don't know. That's where my head was. Was like, give it your hundred percent, right?
- [12:06]
May Martin
Did I tell you about my experience at the one nice vegan restaurant with my gift card? Really quick? But it was. It's one of the nice vegan places. And my agents had given me, like, a very expensive gift card to it.
- [12:21]
Tig Notaro
Tell us the name and we'll bleep it out.
- [12:24]
May Martin
Bleep this part out, too, because I don't remember the name. It's on. Okay. That's the name of it. Yeah, we'll bleep that out. But I. I was like, I. I'm not a vegan. Obviously, I like vegan food, but this is, like a very expensive gift card. So I'm like, I gotta use this for a special occasion. So I invited my friend Jillian Bell, who we know, who's been on the Our Handsome pod. And it was her birthday and she loved this restaurant. But for whatever reason, I didn't want to.
- [12:55]
Tig Notaro
Is she vegan?
- [12:57]
May Martin
She's not vegan, but she and her sister Brianna love this restaurant. And I don't know why, because we've been best friends for years. Why I didn't want to tell her I was using a gift card. So when the bill came, Jax, like, got up and. And just kind of was going to the bathroom and just handed the lady the check with the gift card. And, you know, kind of trying to be discreet. And then the woman, like, comes over and says, gift card more than anyone I've ever heard in my life. She's like, I try to run the gift card, but the gift card won't work. And I don't know what. Have you used this gift card before?
- [13:33]
Tig Notaro
Like, how much is on the gift card?
- [13:35]
May Martin
Yeah. And Julie's looking At me, like, what? And I'm like, oh, whatever.
- [13:39]
Fortune Feimster
You know, we did you.
- [13:41]
May Martin
The funniest part is you were sitting behind me. We ran into you that guys. That night. This was really. Yeah, this was like six years, five years ago. Something like that.
- [13:51]
Tig Notaro
You were literally impression.
- [13:53]
May Martin
You were literally right behind me. So I was even more embarrassed to.
- [13:57]
Fortune Feimster
Like, talk about arguing about. So funny.
- [14:01]
May Martin
So I'm just like, nope, never used this before. Just, you know, you'll go. Just go run it. And Julian's like. And I'm like, I don't know. And so.
- [14:08]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, my God.
- [14:09]
May Martin
Comes back again. She's like, I'm on the phone with the gift card company, but, like, it's not going through. I don't know what's wrong with this gift card. Like, keep saying gift card. And I'm just like, please stop it. And so I'm just like, here, give me the gift card. Give me the gift card. And we just like, hand her our credit card and pay for it, but.
- [14:29]
Tig Notaro
And they're like, oh, declined.
- [14:30]
May Martin
It was wild. And then as we're leaving the restaurant, the manager stops us. Sorry about the gift card. I don't know what was wrong with that gift card. We're trying to run the gift card. And I would. And. And, you know, Jax went back another time, and it didn't work again. And I'm just like, this is a bamboozled gift card.
- [14:48]
Tig Notaro
Okay. But how was the food?
- [14:50]
May Martin
Really good. Really good. Yeah.
- [14:51]
Fortune Feimster
I feel like, like bumping into Tig at a vegan restaurant is. It's like bumping into me at an escape room. Like, it's so on brand that it's almost. It's almost embarrassing. It's like, yep, of course I'm here.
- [15:02]
Tig Notaro
And apologies for my memory loss, but did we talk? We talked.
- [15:06]
May Martin
Yeah. Yeah, we said hi and. And you guys sat down.
- [15:10]
Tig Notaro
It was me and Stephanie.
- [15:12]
May Martin
I can't remember. Y' all might have been with another couple. So, like, we just said a brief hello. Hi. It wasn't like, a long thing, but I just remember between not wanting to tell Jillian I had a gift card and you sitting behind me, I was like, please just give me the gift card.
- [15:29]
Tig Notaro
They get on the intercom, they're like, table 47. Your gift card is still not going through. Fortune, fame, stir, please.
- [15:37]
May Martin
But the funny part is, because we had this experience. Expensive gift card. We were like, order whatever you want.
- [15:43]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [15:43]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, my God.
- [15:44]
May Martin
Keep it coming. You want another drink? Have two of those apps. Like, we were just going nuts because.
- [15:49]
Tig Notaro
Be glad you didn't have the gift card at the restaurant we went to on Mother's Day because you can't keep it coming because they won't ever come to your table.
- [15:57]
Fortune Feimster
I mean, when you were saying like, we couldn't find the waiter, I was like, surely that's the base. You shouldn't have to find.
- [16:03]
Tig Notaro
Like, we could find him. He just wouldn't make eye contact when he was walking past our table. And so he'd be like, hello.
- [16:12]
Fortune Feimster
Or there's the classic thing in restaurants where they're like, you're like, hey, can I get some water? They're like, I'm gonna send over your server. And then the server you try to order, they're like, I'm just taking the drinks. I'm gonna send over the.
- [16:22]
Tig Notaro
You know, that's what was happening.
- [16:24]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, my God.
- [16:25]
Tig Notaro
They, they gave us the Mother's Day menu and then they gave us the regular menu. So we were finding things on the regular menu. And when we all had our orders and they finally came to the table, they were like, oh, we only have the prefix meal on the Mother's Day. That regular menu is just for drinks. So then we, we're like, nobody told us. So they leave and then we have to finding something to eat with small children too. It's not easy. So we had to go back through anyway again. Bigger problems going on again.
- [16:59]
Fortune Feimster
I don't think so.
- [17:00]
Tig Notaro
But you asked how Mother's Day was and I am telling you it was perfect. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First.
- [17:16]
Fortune Feimster
Like, you know, to check that you've got different pairs of scissors so you're not using the same pair of scissors to open packages, cut the tags off your clothes, and trim your nose hairs.
- [17:24]
Tig Notaro
Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate Savings. Vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois.
- [17:40]
Fortune Feimster
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- [18:02]
Tig Notaro
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- [18:31]
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- [18:55]
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- [19:22]
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- [19:47]
May Martin
That's right. How did your birthday party go?
- [19:49]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, we haven't all been together since then and Thomas was there and Crunk. Crunk. I mean, making a scene. We had to kick him out.
- [19:59]
May Martin
So it was set, the scene. It was at your house.
- [20:02]
Fortune Feimster
Okay, it was at my house. And I. The mistake I made was it was like a last minute thing. I thought I gotta do something. And so I'd made an invite. And on the invite it said like, come for games. Intrigue, mystery. And like, what was the. And like lies or something. Like, it was. Yeah. Subterfuge. Subterfuge.
- [20:23]
May Martin
Like, I would promise think that this is a sexy party.
- [20:26]
Fortune Feimster
No. No.
- [20:27]
May Martin
But that's what I would think. Intrigued. I'm intrigued.
- [20:30]
Fortune Feimster
Really?
- [20:31]
May Martin
Yeah.
- [20:31]
Fortune Feimster
Well, what I wanted was like, I had big plans that I was gonna hide, do an Easter egg hunt. I was gonna do like some kind of mafia game where you have to figure out who at the party is. But I kind of panicked. I left it too late. I was. I was really. I got the birthday blues in the morning and.
- [20:46]
May Martin
Oh, no. Did you start snacks?
- [20:49]
Fortune Feimster
I had some snacks.
- [20:50]
May Martin
Sounds like an awful party.
- [20:53]
Tig Notaro
Wait, you woke up the next day depressed?
- [20:56]
Fortune Feimster
No.
- [20:57]
May Martin
On the day.
- [20:58]
Tig Notaro
Oh, on the day. Okay.
- [20:59]
May Martin
But if you're inviting people to your house, you have to have a lot of snacks.
- [21:02]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, I had snacks.
- [21:03]
May Martin
Oh, okay.
- [21:03]
Fortune Feimster
Okay.
- [21:04]
May Martin
That's why.
- [21:04]
Tig Notaro
Did you have a lot of snacks though?
- [21:06]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, I had a lot of.
- [21:07]
May Martin
I don't like, I don't know, I'm not sold on. You had a lot of snacks?
- [21:12]
Tig Notaro
What were the snacks? Walk us through it.
- [21:14]
Fortune Feimster
Okay, well, I had multiple pizzas.
- [21:16]
May Martin
Oh, okay.
- [21:17]
Fortune Feimster
Chips and bowls. I had dips.
- [21:20]
May Martin
Okay, okay. Chips and bowls and dips. Was there a cake or of any of.
- [21:25]
Fortune Feimster
There was a cake.
- [21:26]
May Martin
Okay. I'm just making sure.
- [21:28]
Fortune Feimster
The like, stressful thing was that I, I'd put On the invite 2pm onwards, which is a weird thing to do.
- [21:34]
May Martin
Oh, no. You have to have a finite. Get out of my house time, 2pm.
- [21:38]
Fortune Feimster
But then I got so like bummed and overwhelmed in the morning and like stressed trying to plan all these games. I'd promise that. Then I texted everyone and said, let's do 3pm which is such a weirdly thing to just bump it an hour in the afternoon. And then people come and I, I, I couldn't like settle into a conversation because I was so aware I'd promised games. So the only thing I really came up with was throw the tea bag in the cup from the furthest distance. And I think it's fair to say I was manic Thomas. I was running between groups of people who are just having a nice time being like, guys, we're throwing a tea bag into a cup. If anyone wants.
- [22:13]
Tig Notaro
How many people made it to the party?
- [22:15]
Fortune Feimster
There were about 30 over the course of the, of the afternoon.
- [22:19]
May Martin
Okay, you stressed yourself out.
- [22:22]
Fortune Feimster
Did I ever. I mean, I had little bowls of paper and pens. I was trying to write secret missions for people and everyone was like, what is this? And then throwing the teabag in the, in the cup. It was, who can throw it from the furthest distance? And we're taking turns. And then thankfully that did get pretty electric. And the feeling when someone finally got it in was like we'd won the World Cup.
- [22:43]
May Martin
The teabag part.
- [22:45]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, the teabag part. Yeah, that was pretty good. Yeah.
- [22:47]
May Martin
But overall, did they get a prize? Like, did you make out with them?
- [22:51]
Fortune Feimster
No, no prize. No.
- [22:52]
Tig Notaro
And is this a game intrigue?
- [22:54]
May Martin
It seems like something needed to happened.
- [22:57]
Fortune Feimster
The intrigue was just. Is me gonna have a meltdown?
- [23:00]
May Martin
Okay.
- [23:01]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [23:02]
Tig Notaro
Now is the throw a tea bag in a glass or cup. Is that thank you for a typical question party game? Because I have to be honest, I Don't know if that would lure me to a party or keep me there.
- [23:17]
May Martin
It was interesting.
- [23:19]
Tig Notaro
I was thinking, fortunately, if you knew you could throw a tea bag into a cup. You over there.
- [23:25]
May Martin
I'll try.
- [23:26]
Fortune Feimster
What I thought was there's a lot of ways you could go about it because you're trying to get it from the furthest distance. I didn't anticipate how hard it would be to get it in at all. But there's different. You could get the tea bag wet.
- [23:38]
May Martin
That would be my. I. I would want to get it wet.
- [23:41]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [23:42]
May Martin
And are you dangling it like this and throwing it?
- [23:45]
Fortune Feimster
Well, that would. That's a very interesting question to dangle.
- [23:47]
Tig Notaro
From the screen, act out on that fortune or.
- [23:50]
Fortune Feimster
I was like, maybe if you just get high up over it, that counts as distance. But honestly, thank God for Clea Duvall and her wife were there and they are like game fanatics and they love Survivor and they were like, right on.
- [24:04]
May Martin
Board with it, setting the rules and everything. Cleo turned into a director again.
- [24:10]
Fortune Feimster
She really did.
- [24:11]
May Martin
She also.
- [24:11]
Fortune Feimster
She was the one that got. She did it back in the cup. She did it.
- [24:15]
Tig Notaro
She did it.
- [24:16]
Fortune Feimster
She did it.
- [24:16]
Tig Notaro
And how did. How did Mr. Thomas do?
- [24:20]
Fortune Feimster
Thomas, did you throw the tea bag in the cup?
- [24:22]
Tig Notaro
You know, I think I was too busy playing foosball.
- [24:25]
Fortune Feimster
I was. I was really attached to that foosball table. Yeah, the table was good.
- [24:30]
May Martin
I once butt dialed Clea Duvall out of nowhere during the middle of a romantic dinner in Santa Barbara.
- [24:38]
Tig Notaro
You did what?
- [24:39]
May Martin
Butt dial. Clear.
- [24:41]
Tig Notaro
Okay.
- [24:41]
Fortune Feimster
That feels like the universe wanted you to connect with, but it's not like.
- [24:45]
May Martin
I love Clea, but I don't talk to Clea very often. Ever.
- [24:48]
Fortune Feimster
Just chatting.
- [24:49]
May Martin
My phone just called her and she texted me what you were saying. She could totally hear our entire conversation. And. Oh, my God, she texted me like, hey, but just. Just FYI, you just called me and I was like, oh, my God, that is so weird.
- [25:05]
Tig Notaro
And that was just a general butt dial.
- [25:08]
May Martin
General. But though. So your phone could literally call anyone at any time, just so you know. That's terrific.
- [25:13]
Tig Notaro
Guess what my phone did.
- [25:14]
May Martin
What?
- [25:15]
Tig Notaro
I Not only I. I didn't just do a butt dial, but I think we. Fortune and I. I don't know about May, but have a mutual friend. Kim Dickens.
- [25:26]
May Martin
We do. Yeah.
- [25:27]
Tig Notaro
Okay. I. But FaceTimed Kim Dickens.
- [25:31]
May Martin
Butt FaceTime.
- [25:32]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And I looked at my call list of recent calls looking for somebody's number one. You know, Kim is a friend, but not somebody I talk to on a daily basis. And certainly someone I have never FaceTimed with. And so I'm scrolling through my missed calls and whatever to find, you know, a number that I needed to find. And I see that I have FaceTimed Kim Dickens like three days before. And I'm like, no, I didn't. She didn't say anything. She didn't pick up. We've never talked about it.
- [26:10]
May Martin
I have. I have done that before. And I think usually people know if you don't normally facetime with that person.
- [26:17]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [26:17]
May Martin
That it was like an accident.
- [26:19]
Tig Notaro
Okay. I'm still curious if I get a FaceTime. I'm like, what do you answer? Yeah, yeah. But I answer.
- [26:26]
May Martin
I've ignored several FaceTimes that I know were probably accident.
- [26:31]
Fortune Feimster
I once went to block an ex's number. This is years ago. To prevent me from wanting to text them or whatever. Go to block it. And when I go to block the number, accidentally hit FaceTime calling.
- [26:47]
May Martin
I just wanted to inform you I'm blocking you at the end of this call. Yeah, yeah. That is the nightmare when you're not wanting them to know about that.
- [27:00]
Tig Notaro
I've not ever blocked somebody. They can't tell when you block them.
- [27:04]
Fortune Feimster
They could if they tried to message. It would turn up green instead of blue.
- [27:08]
Tig Notaro
Oh, yeah. Okay.
- [27:10]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just for. Everybody says just block the person for a couple, you know. Yeah. Guys, I'm drinking this thing that Thomas told me about.
- [27:19]
May Martin
What is it?
- [27:21]
Tig Notaro
Prune juice.
- [27:21]
Fortune Feimster
It's up. It's Diet Coke mixed with cold brew.
- [27:26]
May Martin
Oh, wow.
- [27:26]
Fortune Feimster
That's got a Coke with a splash of coffee in it.
- [27:29]
May Martin
And you're. And it's kind of later there. It's right afternoon later where it's like 3pm oh, I'm thinking of where I am. It's evening time here.
- [27:39]
Tig Notaro
Oh, yeah. How does that taste? And Thomas, you drink that. Yeah.
- [27:43]
Fortune Feimster
Coke Zero. Because the Headgum Studios have cold brew on tap. And I started having cold brew and Coke Zero combined just because they have those available.
- [27:53]
Tig Notaro
And so that's an already made up idea. No, I invented it.
- [27:58]
Fortune Feimster
Like, it's like cold brew with a.
- [28:01]
Tig Notaro
Splash of Coke Zero.
- [28:02]
May Martin
Wow.
- [28:02]
Tig Notaro
And it's good.
- [28:04]
May Martin
I like it.
- [28:05]
Fortune Feimster
It's giving me a jolt. That's for sure. I got a lot of flack the other day for I went to the movie theater to see Sinners. That movie.
- [28:13]
May Martin
Yeah.
- [28:13]
Fortune Feimster
And you know, I ordered a large drink and then, you know, you fill up your drink. And so I. I always mix like, I. I mixed like ginger ale and Coke Zero and iced tea and Fanta lemon. I think that was the combo.
- [28:27]
May Martin
Okay.
- [28:27]
Fortune Feimster
And the person was horrified.
- [28:29]
May Martin
There's a lot of drinks in one thing, but do you.
- [28:32]
Fortune Feimster
I kind of like Thomas's theory that if things are available, you got to mix them.
- [28:36]
May Martin
Why not? Speaking of lesbians on text, Emily Sailors from the Indigo Girls just texted me. Do you think that was on purpose? She said, because high fortune, I had.
- [28:47]
Tig Notaro
A zoom with her today.
- [28:50]
May Martin
She wrote. She mentioned you in here.
- [28:53]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [28:54]
May Martin
Oh, she called you tiggle bitties. That's weird.
- [28:58]
Tig Notaro
Does she not know my story?
- [29:02]
May Martin
So, May, would you say the birthday party was a success in the end?
- [29:06]
Fortune Feimster
I think people had a nice time. I. I have many regrets. I would do an evening party next time, I think. Or at least a weekend day. Not a weekday.
- [29:16]
Tig Notaro
Not a 2pm on a weekday.
- [29:18]
May Martin
Oh, it was on the weekday.
- [29:19]
Fortune Feimster
It was on a Friday, Yeah.
- [29:21]
May Martin
Oh, okay.
- [29:22]
Fortune Feimster
And I would plan. I would plan better. And people came and then left, and then came and then left. And like, I have the same birthday as Kumail Nanjiani. And him and his wife came her birthdays, I think the day before, the day after, and they came, but everyone had just sort of left. And I felt. I was like, guys, I swear, it was fun. We were throwing tea bags.
- [29:40]
May Martin
I promise.
- [29:42]
Tig Notaro
And would you carry on the teabag game tradition? Was it a success? Was it a hit? Were they into it?
- [29:48]
Fortune Feimster
I think now that you say it, I'm like, yeah, I. I don't. From now on, it won't be a birthday unless there's a bag.
- [29:54]
Tig Notaro
So you're gonna be like, guys, guess what's on again this year? It's my birthday and we're throwing tea bags. Remember last year?
- [30:03]
May Martin
Well, it is funny. It would be funny if you named it the annual teabag party.
- [30:08]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [30:08]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Well.
- [30:11]
May Martin
Come on. Well, I hate that I missed it. I was out of town. I don't know if I would have been invited, but I hate. I missed.
- [30:19]
Fortune Feimster
I didn't. I invited you both. I sent you the group chat. Yeah. I sent it on the chat.
- [30:23]
May Martin
You did?
- [30:24]
Fortune Feimster
I did. I sent it on the chat, yeah.
- [30:26]
May Martin
Oh, well, I apologize. I totally did not see that. So my apologies for not getting back to you.
- [30:33]
Fortune Feimster
I think birthdays, as you get a lot going on. Yeah, man.
- [30:37]
May Martin
Have you just a wee bit.
- [30:40]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Guys, should we see who our question asker is?
- [30:44]
Tig Notaro
Absolutely.
- [30:44]
May Martin
Today's Question asker is an actress, stand up comedian, and former NFL cheerleader. She's released. I know, right? She has released multiple hit stand up specials. With her latest, say I want getting over 5 million views on YouTube. Angela Johnson Reyes is today's question asker.
- [31:07]
Tig Notaro
Nice.
- [31:09]
Angela Johnson Reyes
All right, so I have a question for my handsomes.
- [31:14]
May Martin
Okay.
- [31:16]
Angela Johnson Reyes
What are you grateful for in life, which you've already shared a few, but also, what's your matitude, which we didn't get to today.
- [31:24]
May Martin
Okay.
- [31:24]
Angela Johnson Reyes
Your matitude is your one thing that's making you mad these days, getting on your nerves, and then your gratitude.
- [31:30]
Tig Notaro
What.
- [31:31]
Angela Johnson Reyes
What are you grateful for? That's my. My question for you guys.
- [31:34]
May Martin
All right, so I did Angela's podcast, and I was like, you gotta ask us a question for handsome sometime. And she's like, I'll do it right now. I was like, oh, okay. Yes.
- [31:46]
Tig Notaro
And we're on.
- [31:47]
May Martin
And we're on. So I got to be a part of Angela's question.
- [31:51]
Fortune Feimster
I mean, I'm thinking of a million things.
- [31:53]
Tig Notaro
Gratitude and attitude and. And explain matitude. Again, stuff that upsets you, Right?
- [32:00]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. These days. Like what specifically these days is really getting your goat?
- [32:05]
May Martin
Yeah, Getting your.
- [32:06]
Tig Notaro
The fact that I don't have a goat gets my goat.
- [32:10]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. You know what?
- [32:10]
May Martin
Is that how a ghost sounds? Or is that a sheep? What's a goat?
- [32:15]
Tig Notaro
Don't answer her. Let her go about. Let her go about life thinking that's what a goat maybe sounds like. Oh, my gosh. You know what? Speaking of animals, when we were on Mother's Day, we were. We saw a seal in the marina and sitting up.
- [32:42]
May Martin
I love his music.
- [32:45]
Tig Notaro
Fortune. Marie, that is a solid joke, and I think you need to write that down and remind yourself to repeat it.
- [32:55]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Want to give someone a gift that really matters? Give one that won't just last a year, it'll last a lifetime. That's the gift of learning. With Masterclass. With Masterclass, you can learn from the best to become your best.
- [33:11]
Tig Notaro
Masterclass is the only streaming platform where you can learn and grow with over 200 plus of the world's best.
- [33:19]
Fortune Feimster
You know, we here at Handsome love learning. Whether it's a may fact, a documentary, or checking out a masterclass, one of the questions we get the most as comedians is how to break into the entertainment business. Masterclass has a whole category for that. James Cameron teaches filmmaking. Ava DuVernay talks about reframing your thinking, or Reba McIntyre teaches country music.
- [33:39]
Tig Notaro
Our listeners always get great discounts on Masterclass of at least 15% off any annual membership@masterclass.com handsome. See Masterclass's latest deal at least 15% off@masterclass.com handsome masterclass.com handsome. You know that feeling when your kids love snacking but you don't want to give them junk that's too salty, too sugary, too processed or all of the above. This is why I love Thrive Market. My go to online grocery store for getting all of my healthy essentials delivered and I don't even have to leave my couch.
- [34:23]
Fortune Feimster
Finding better options for the whole family is easy with Thrive Market's Healthy Swap Scanner. Just scan a product and it instantly recommends healthier swaps. Like Tig's Family. I also like to snack and I've swapped out sugary snacks for high quality dye free favorites like Blake's Seed Based Crispy Treats or Yum Earth Organic Fruit Snacks. They also have so many on site filters that make it simple to shop by the needs of everyone in the family. Maybe your husband is gluten free or maybe your children need peanut free snacks. No more scouring ingredient labels when you can just filter it all on Thrive Market. And no more coconut for me.
- [34:59]
Tig Notaro
Ever ready to make the switch? Go to thrivemarket.com handsome for 30% off your first order plus a free sixty dollar gift. That's T H R I V E market.com/handsome thrivemarket.com handsome this episode of Handsome is brought to you by Graza, my new favorite olive oil. It's fresh, it's never blended and it comes from a single type of olive, the Picul. Straight out of high end Spain where over half the world's olive oil is produced, Graza is single origin goodness. Plus they've got super fun squeeze and spray bottles. Graz has got three versions to suit all your different cooking needs. Frizzle with a high smoke point, sizzle your everyday oil and drizzle a bold and flavorful finishing oil. I've got all three Graza oils and it's made me realize I use olive oil for everything and if I'm putting one ingredient in most of my cooking, I want that ingredient to be high quality, fresh and delicious. That's my priority and it's Graz's priority too. So go to Graza Co and use handsome to get 10 off of trio which includes Sizzle, frizzle and Drizzle and get to cooking your next chef quality meal. So this seal is hanging out right by this boat slip in the harbor and it's just it.
- [36:33]
May Martin
Have you.
- [36:34]
Tig Notaro
Does it not blow your mind how much seals are ocean dogs.
- [36:39]
Fortune Feimster
Yes. They're big dumb puppies.
- [36:42]
Tig Notaro
Yes.
- [36:42]
May Martin
Really.
- [36:43]
Tig Notaro
And just like the barking.
- [36:46]
May Martin
Is that how they sound?
- [36:48]
Tig Notaro
I mean, don't tell fortune. Yeah, they're barking and you can. And when I said that, my son Max was like, well, they're both mammals. And I was like, sure, but I.
- [37:05]
Fortune Feimster
Don'T know about that logic.
- [37:06]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I mean they, they have the whiskers, they look like dogs and they basically bark. So what is the connection there? I know this is not Angela's ask, but.
- [37:18]
Fortune Feimster
No, this is getting your goat.
- [37:20]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [37:22]
May Martin
Your matitude.
- [37:24]
Fortune Feimster
Was the seal just by himself?
- [37:26]
Tig Notaro
Oh my gosh. Just hanging out, sunbathing and just like cleaning himself and just so cute. Animals are just little freaks. He was very nice to us.
- [37:39]
May Martin
Well, I mean, but if you were like to, you know, swim up and.
- [37:42]
Tig Notaro
You need to Google seals and find out more information on your.
- [37:48]
Fortune Feimster
Here's the thing. Like what, what could it seal really do to you if it was on land?
- [37:52]
Tig Notaro
Slap you? I mean, you've seen those little.
- [37:55]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, oh yeah, it could slap you. I guess if you were in a little kayak, it could try and overturn.
- [37:59]
May Martin
That's right.
- [38:01]
Fortune Feimster
I know walruses are curmudgeonly and I'll. I'll stand by. I'll. I'll die on that hill.
- [38:08]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, you've had a run in with a mean walrus.
- [38:12]
May Martin
The walrus's sound is cuckoo. Kachu.
- [38:15]
Fortune Feimster
That's correct.
- [38:16]
Tig Notaro
Oh boy.
- [38:17]
Fortune Feimster
When I was.
- [38:20]
Tig Notaro
Oh boy. I can't even look at you.
- [38:23]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [38:24]
Tig Notaro
I cannot look at you.
- [38:27]
May Martin
Come on. That was really good.
- [38:28]
Tig Notaro
No, no. All right. That was really good. That was good. That was good. I wish I'd done that one when I was 13.
- [38:42]
Fortune Feimster
It was the. I was at like second city improv class and the news team, the news came and filmed a bunch of us kids and they told us they were going to do a News segment on TVO at 8pm on, on Thursday or something. And I told everyone in my class to watch it and. But I got the time wrong. And so at 8pm everyone turned on the TV and it was walruses fucking. It was like a nature documentary and it was walruses with their weird penises. How weird when you're like 13, then everyone the next day was like, saw you on tv.
- [39:21]
May Martin
Wow.
- [39:22]
Fortune Feimster
Well, actually that's another thing they have in common with dogs is they have those weird little dicks.
- [39:27]
Tig Notaro
Should we go to commercial?
- [39:28]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. What are you guys grateful?
- [39:33]
Tig Notaro
I'm grateful for this conversation. Yeah. I mean, first and foremost, yeah, gratitude.
- [39:39]
May Martin
I've been very grateful for friends. I've reconnected with friends lately and just some of my friends have been just amazing and yeah, really good friends love that. And I'm really grateful for that. The, you know, you get really busy and I. I've been guilty of, like, getting so into my job and traveling that, you know, you sort of. I wasn't always great at checking in and. And just. Yeah. Just seeing how people show up for you. It's pretty amazing. I made new friends, reconnect with old friends. It's meant a lot to me.
- [40:28]
Fortune Feimster
Old friends kind of remind you who you are too. Like, it's very grounding because you can reconnect with kind of old versions of yourself as well. Like, you're like, oh, yeah, I forgot that I'm also this person.
- [40:39]
May Martin
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just seeing how people, when you need them, just freaking are there for you. It's like unbelievable.
- [40:48]
Tig Notaro
People want to feel like they have a purpose or they can help in some way, you know, And I feel like when you present that opportunity. I remember my biggest lesson with that was when Hurricane Katrina wiped out my hometown. And I was raising money and collecting items to drive out to Mississippi because eye of the hurricane hit my hometown. And I remember we had, like, lamps out in the front yard. We were collecting donations 24 hours a day. I don't remember. It was for two or three days. And I sat back going, wow, people are so nice. I can't believe they're doing this for me and my town. And then I thought. And then I realized, like, this isn't for me. Like, I'm just like the vessel. And like, removing yourself from it and realizing, like, this is what people just naturally want to do is when there's a problem. I think most people really do want to help and chip in and do whatever they can to make things right. And then that was really. I mean, sadly, if it is pathetic on my part, I didn't really realize that until that moment in my life where I was like, this has absolutely nothing to do with me.
- [42:13]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [42:13]
Tig Notaro
Or where I live.
- [42:15]
May Martin
Well, yeah. It just reminds me how important my people. Oh.
- [42:18]
Tig Notaro
And I'm not taking away from the fact that your friends love you and care about.
- [42:22]
May Martin
Oh, yeah, of course.
- [42:23]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want that to be misunderstood.
- [42:26]
May Martin
No, no, no, not at all.
- [42:27]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [42:28]
Fortune Feimster
But just so you know, they're doing that for them.
- [42:31]
May Martin
It's just been a big reminder. And some people in my family are going through some things and yeah, people have been showing up for them. Just seeing, like, people show up for people has been. I have a lot of gratitude for that.
- [42:45]
Tig Notaro
That's great.
- [42:47]
Fortune Feimster
How about you too? Gratitude wise, I'm feeling seal was.
- [42:52]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. I Feel very grateful for that seal, but I'm feeling really, really grateful for. You know, I've. And I know I've talked about this on here. I've made massive shifts with my time and my career trying to find balance because I realized there was a time in my life, I would say it was right after the pandemic where I was talking about how I was trying to find work life balance. And when I really thought about it, I wasn't actually. I wasn't actually making these steps to shift things. And I made a massive shift with my job on Star Trek, where I made a choice to take a much smaller load of episodes and with touring, a much smaller load with going on the road. And I'm seeing and feeling a massive shift in my life, and it feels so good. And every day I say to Stephanie, I'm like, I am so happy to be home. I am so happy. It just feels good. And I'm really grateful that I have taken the sleep. And maybe it won't be forever, but I've now been off the road for the majority for about a year and a half. And that's huge. That's so huge. And it's a massive shift in the past few decades. And so I'm not only glad I took this leap, but I'm very thankful and grateful that it's panned out in the way that I hoped it would. And it is those little things of being at baseball practice, at pitching practice, at bad Mother's Day brunches, you know? Yeah. So I'm really, really enjoying that. And I'm very grateful for it. And who knows, Maybe in a year I'll be back up and running full throttle. But maybe not. I don't know. But I'm. I'm really good with how. How this shift is.
- [45:03]
Fortune Feimster
Love that.
- [45:04]
May Martin
Yeah. That's awesome.
- [45:05]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [45:06]
May Martin
It's important. You gotta live. Live life and, and. And be a human.
- [45:11]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. And have stuff to write about too. And. Yeah.
- [45:14]
May Martin
Yeah. It's all about what material will you get.
- [45:17]
Fortune Feimster
You know, I just did the same thing. Yeah.
- [45:19]
May Martin
Well, the thing is, you better some notes down.
- [45:23]
Tig Notaro
I'm living my life so I can create more work and then I can leave town again.
- [45:28]
Fortune Feimster
That's kind of sometimes how I. How I do think of things and I got to be care. Like, I'll plan a fun day for myself. I'll go to art galleries and stuff. I'm like, God, I hope I notice something.
- [45:38]
May Martin
I hope I get out of this.
- [45:40]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Yeah. I'm feeling grateful for music These days, like, I'm playing a lot. I'm like, I'm writing a lot of tunes and listening to a lot of music and. And I'm loving it and going on big walks and getting really into LA and. And Griffith park hikes and.
- [45:58]
Tig Notaro
What's a big walk like Griffith park.
- [46:01]
Fortune Feimster
To the observatory or like I. Or around the reservoir or.
- [46:04]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [46:05]
Fortune Feimster
Or. I went yesterday to Santa Barbara with my friend and found these hot springs. It was this big hike and they were too hot to. In my mind, I was gonna be bathing in them, but they were too hot.
- [46:17]
May Martin
Oh. Because it was like a hundred and something degrees. Right.
- [46:19]
Tig Notaro
I'm sorry, but hotter than you.
- [46:23]
May Martin
Impossible.
- [46:26]
Fortune Feimster
They were scalding hot.
- [46:27]
Tig Notaro
Okay.
- [46:28]
Fortune Feimster
And sulfuric. And it smelled like farts. But man, they were beautiful.
- [46:30]
May Martin
Man.
- [46:31]
Fortune Feimster
And there was a naked man standing. Just standing.
- [46:35]
May Martin
Yeah.
- [46:35]
Fortune Feimster
Contemplating it all.
- [46:37]
Tig Notaro
Was he an attractive. A man or was Fortune Marie? Fortune Marie. We were not expecting that.
- [46:45]
May Martin
All our listeners were wondering.
- [46:47]
Tig Notaro
You scared off half of our listeners.
- [46:50]
May Martin
Yes.
- [46:51]
Tig Notaro
Here they come creeping back.
- [46:55]
May Martin
Come on back, you guys. I won't say it again.
- [46:58]
Tig Notaro
Come on, ladies.
- [46:59]
May Martin
For now.
- [47:00]
Fortune Feimster
He was like, I'm very like, you know, nudity positive or whatever. But I was a bit like someone he. I think he had written on a rock. As you're approaching the hot springs, you're going up the path, and someone had written clothing optional with a marker.
- [47:15]
May Martin
Oh, the joke.
- [47:17]
Fortune Feimster
Well, I think he wrote it and then.
- [47:19]
Tig Notaro
Oh, my God.
- [47:20]
May Martin
He's like, nobody call the cops.
- [47:22]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [47:24]
Tig Notaro
Do you. You really think he made the. The decision and was like, maybe.
- [47:29]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [47:30]
May Martin
That marker on the ground was a real telltale sign.
- [47:33]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, yeah. And the ink on his hands. And then the thing. My attitude right now is, and I'd love to get your input on this, guys, what you would do in this situation. So. I love to do laundry. I love to smell of fresh laundry. Yeah, it's. Oh, we've talked about. It's the I To fold the laundry. Yeah, I love it. So I put a load in, and then I guess I didn't. You laughing at load Fortune? No, I'm putting a load in. Never mind.
- [48:06]
Tig Notaro
Fortune Marie.
- [48:07]
Fortune Feimster
Fortune Marie. So it didn't fully dry, and then I guess I didn't take it out in time. So it now has this smell and I'm like, do I re. Wash the whole load? Like, it smells a bit like damp, you know, and now it's dry, but it smells a bit like damp. So I gotta rewash everything.
- [48:26]
May Martin
I think you do, yeah.
- [48:28]
Fortune Feimster
All right.
- [48:28]
May Martin
Yeah. I'm mad about it, though, for you.
- [48:32]
Fortune Feimster
Mad about.
- [48:32]
May Martin
That's a. Mad, mad about.
- [48:34]
Fortune Feimster
This is a. Yeah, like the shirt I'm wearing now.
- [48:37]
May Martin
Well, luckily, you have a washer dryer. Right. This is part of your home.
- [48:40]
Fortune Feimster
This is part of my home.
- [48:42]
Tig Notaro
Are you in your home? Is that a. One big trophy? My eyesight is so bad. Do you have one gigantic trophy behind you?
- [48:48]
May Martin
That's from Taskmasters.
- [48:51]
Fortune Feimster
It's a bunch of different trophies. Yeah. And that's a Taskmaster trophy on top. It's a. It's a guy's head.
- [48:56]
Tig Notaro
I was hoping it was such a massive trophy that was, like, floor to ceiling.
- [49:02]
May Martin
Oh, yeah. One big trophy.
- [49:04]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [49:04]
May Martin
And then that's a day bed there. Has anyone stayed on it?
- [49:07]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, actually. And it. It pulls out, like, the bottom pulls out.
- [49:11]
Tig Notaro
And did somebody stay on that after? They threw tea bags all night.
- [49:16]
Fortune Feimster
They were so exhausted from the tea bagging.
- [49:18]
May Martin
Boy, is my arm tired. I cannot drive tonight.
- [49:21]
Tig Notaro
The instant place. I can lie down.
- [49:24]
May Martin
Because you have what, two bedrooms? Your place?
- [49:26]
Fortune Feimster
I have two bedrooms, and then I have this back house that I'm trying to renovate, kind of. That will be a guest house. Putting a little.
- [49:33]
Tig Notaro
Are you gonna rent it out or are you gonna just have people in town stay there?
- [49:37]
Fortune Feimster
I have a buddy, and him and his girlfriend might come for six months or something.
- [49:42]
Tig Notaro
Wow.
- [49:43]
Fortune Feimster
And I think I would. I think they're gonna pitch in for bills and stuff, but probably not. Like, you know, I got. I like having people around.
- [49:50]
Tig Notaro
Okay.
- [49:51]
Fortune Feimster
Okay. And also, they might want to kill each other after they move in there. Because it's tiny.
- [49:56]
May Martin
Yeah. But so far, you're feeling like the house was. It was. It's all positive. It was a good purchase.
- [50:05]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. It's got good. It's got good vibes.
- [50:08]
Tig Notaro
Have your stress levels come down about making a big purchase or.
- [50:12]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Yeah, I think they have. And also, just being so unsettled for eight, nine months, I was, like, in Airbnb, so. Yeah, it's good. I got stuff on the walls.
- [50:22]
May Martin
Yeah. It is nice to have a. Like, a space that's yours that you're like, this is my grounding place.
- [50:29]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Seriously?
- [50:30]
May Martin
Yeah.
- [50:30]
Tig Notaro
Does it feel like home?
- [50:32]
Fortune Feimster
Not yet. Not yet, but maybe it will. I have. There's a fireplace, like, a working fireplace. And they checked the.
- [50:38]
May Martin
I love it.
- [50:39]
Fortune Feimster
Would you call it a flume?
- [50:42]
May Martin
A flu.
- [50:43]
Fortune Feimster
A flu. They checked it and they said it's all working, but I'm just too scared on my own to.
- [50:48]
May Martin
To do it.
- [50:49]
Fortune Feimster
Like, yeah. What if a little ember comes out or Something.
- [50:51]
May Martin
But you had a. But you had it inspected.
- [50:54]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [50:54]
May Martin
So then if they. If it pass and it's good.
- [50:57]
Fortune Feimster
But what do I. There's no great in front of it or anything. You can light some logs, buy it.
- [51:02]
May Martin
Great. They're cheap.
- [51:03]
Fortune Feimster
You're telling me. I like some logs.
- [51:05]
Tig Notaro
And I think I. I need to know.
- [51:07]
May Martin
You have to turn the gas on and, like, is it a gas. It's a gas or no? Oh, it's a wood. Oh, wow. I love a fireplace. It's one of my favorite. I have gratitude for fireplaces.
- [51:17]
Tig Notaro
I need to know, is it a flu or a flute? I thought it was a flu flute. I thought it was a flu.
- [51:24]
May Martin
I thought it was a fl. I thought it was a flu.
- [51:26]
Tig Notaro
Flu. Flu. Oh, so I was right.
- [51:30]
May Martin
So what's a FL O G?
- [51:33]
Tig Notaro
You don't know what a flute is?
- [51:36]
May Martin
Oh, it's the instrument. How does it sound?
- [51:39]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. And then what about.
- [51:42]
Tig Notaro
Hold on, I'm still soloing.
- [51:43]
May Martin
An instrument is F, L u T, E. That's right.
- [51:46]
Tig Notaro
I'm not. I wasn't gonna barge in on your poor spelling, but what's a FL O O T?
- [51:51]
May Martin
Is that anything? Oh, this is a fart or a toot in the urban Fortune.
- [51:58]
Tig Notaro
Marie. Fortune. Marie, you are dirtying up this episode left and right.
- [52:05]
Fortune Feimster
What about what's a flume? Flum? It's a channel for water. Like a log flume. Okay.
- [52:15]
Tig Notaro
We ask each other questions and. Thomas, what is. We're gonna change this podcast to quick Google this for me.
- [52:26]
May Martin
What else can we learn?
- [52:28]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, what's your attitude right now, though, guys?
- [52:30]
Tig Notaro
Attitude?
- [52:32]
Fortune Feimster
I. I mean, I liked Fortune when you said Matitou.
- [52:37]
Tig Notaro
I feel like I already went off on my matitude about the bad service.
- [52:42]
May Martin
Yeah, that was definitely a matitude. I mean, nothing's really, like, getting under my skin at the moment.
- [52:48]
Fortune Feimster
Do you get road rage?
- [52:51]
May Martin
No, not these days. Because people are crazy. And, like, you know, I feel like there was a time in our lives where you could just give a fun bird to somebody.
- [53:02]
Fortune Feimster
Just a fun.
- [53:03]
May Martin
Just a fun bird. Like, hey, man, not these days. Don't be doing that. People are nuts. So, yeah, I try to keep it pretty chill on the road because, I mean, I. It feels like everyone. My attitude is that stress levels seem to be through the roof for everybody. So they. No one has any patience. And they. And you know, most people that their impatience is. Is properly handled, and they're like, ah. But then other people go to, like, the extreme, and you're just like, you're gonna need Y' all need to get some therapy. Like, this is too much.
- [53:40]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [53:41]
May Martin
So, yeah. Impatience and stress levels. That would be an annoyance. I think people gotta get that stuff in check.
- [53:50]
Fortune Feimster
I'm. Often I find myself in an Uber, and then there'll be some road altercation.
- [53:55]
May Martin
Oh, yeah.
- [53:56]
Fortune Feimster
Often. I know it was the Uber driver's fault, but I will get on board with whatever rent the driver says. He's like, did you see that psychopath? I'm like, oh, I can't believe that. What's he even thinking? Even though I know that it was the Uber driver. I don't know. I just.
- [54:09]
Tig Notaro
You gotta make sure you're so safe.
- [54:10]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. And bond and.
- [54:12]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [54:14]
May Martin
When I lived in Spain, I was walking down the street and these two guys were both at a stop sign, and I don't know, someone pissed the other one off, and they both hopped out of their car and just started beating the crap out of each other.
- [54:28]
Tig Notaro
Oh.
- [54:28]
May Martin
And punching each other like crazy. And everyone's just kind of like, what? They. They. They do their thing and they both just get in their car and drive off. Like, what up? I was like.
- [54:39]
Fortune Feimster
I mean, I guess, like. I guess that's what, like, chimpanzees do. Like, you get your rage out and then you move on from it. But that's. That's not good.
- [54:48]
Tig Notaro
That is wild.
- [54:50]
May Martin
What I've been trying to do to. To de. Stress myself. Obviously. We know. Tigs. Treading water has been very helpful.
- [54:59]
Tig Notaro
Yep. But it somehow became your treading water.
- [55:01]
May Martin
That's right.
- [55:02]
Tig Notaro
Now, that's what you're known for.
- [55:06]
May Martin
But May has one. I wanna. I'm so intrigued by him. I did a sauna and steam room the last couple of days, and that was a nice stress reliever.
- [55:16]
Fortune Feimster
Dude. It is a game changer. I feel very grateful that I'm, like, in a position where I could have splashed out and got that little sauna. But I am using it 20 minutes a day. And it changes your whole cellular composition. It feels like you just feel alive.
- [55:33]
May Martin
And young and you kind of meditate in there. Right. Because you can't bring your. Like, I don't think you bring your phone or anything in there because it's too hot.
- [55:40]
Fortune Feimster
I've sometimes snuck my little phone. Really? But I put.
- [55:43]
May Martin
You should have it be a no phone zone for you.
- [55:46]
Fortune Feimster
100. I should. You're right.
- [55:48]
May Martin
No phone zone.
- [55:48]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [55:49]
Tig Notaro
Instead of figuring out a way to get it in there.
- [55:51]
Fortune Feimster
I do. I'll do sprouts in there. Like, you. You have your. Your Bucket of water that you're going to splash the water on the coals. And I'll put like essential oils and some sea salt for spell power. And then I'll stir it three times and I'll make a wish. I'll put my crystals in there and then I'll really focus. And then I put the water on the. This is a real insight into my witchy stuff. Yeah. This is my private. I mean, I tell my friends this and they're like, just go to therapy, like, and you can change your world.
- [56:23]
May Martin
Just may, for the love of God, go to therapy.
- [56:26]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [56:27]
May Martin
You don't want to go to therapy.
- [56:29]
Fortune Feimster
I actually have a consultation tomorrow morning.
- [56:31]
May Martin
Oh, there you go.
- [56:32]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [56:32]
Tig Notaro
And another week.
- [56:34]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, my God. Keep me honest.
- [56:37]
May Martin
Well, that's. That's what's important about therapy, which I think a lot of people get wrong, is that they start lying to the therapist. And I'm like, that's the one person you got to come clean to.
- [56:48]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [56:49]
Fortune Feimster
Like, they want to hear what they want to hear. So they got.
- [56:51]
May Martin
Yeah, well, they want to. They. People go in there wanting someone to justify their actions.
- [56:57]
Fortune Feimster
Right.
- [56:58]
May Martin
That's not going to do you any good. You're going there to break those habits, like whatever the habits are.
- [57:05]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [57:05]
May Martin
So it is the one person you got to tell all your mess to.
- [57:10]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [57:11]
May Martin
So I highly encourage that because just going in there and being like, this person in my life did this and this person did this and I don't know why like that. Well, it's not going to get us anywhere.
- [57:21]
Tig Notaro
Well, so I should stop griping about you fortune in my therapy.
- [57:27]
May Martin
Yeah. It's because, you know, you're meeting some. Someone you want them to like you. Like, everybody wants a person to like them, but at the end of the day, you're literally paying them to, to. To break these old habits and to heal these traumas.
- [57:43]
Tig Notaro
I know growth. I've had moments where I've. With my therapist where I'm like, I have something to tell you and I'm not proud about this. I'm not afraid of this.
- [57:57]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, that's a good place to be.
- [57:59]
Tig Notaro
Like, I have to preface it with like.
- [58:01]
May Martin
Right.
- [58:02]
Tig Notaro
I just want you to know I'm cringing right now and I have to tell you this thing that I did or thought or said or wanted or.
- [58:12]
Fortune Feimster
Felt because I guess their instinct a lot of the time is to be like, self love and, you know, don't be so hard on yourself and. Yeah.
- [58:23]
May Martin
But sometimes their job is to try to, you know, point out why Am I doing these things? Why are these patterns like this? Why. Why do I have this insecurity? Why am I avoidant about this or whatever it is, you know?
- [58:34]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, yeah. Your blind spots.
- [58:36]
May Martin
That's their job to then hear. What are these patterns that you're doing? Why are you doing this? And tell you like, you do this because this. So I don't know. I'm just. I encourage you to. To. I love that you're going go in.
- [58:49]
Tig Notaro
There and blow your mind.
- [58:51]
May Martin
Yeah.
- [58:51]
Fortune Feimster
I was planning on lying.
- [58:54]
May Martin
No, of course it will be like, I want this person to like me.
- [58:59]
Fortune Feimster
I gotta shake that.
- [59:00]
May Martin
Shake that off. Just. This is the time to just tell all your secrets. Tell all your.
- [59:06]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Yeah. I love that.
- [59:08]
May Martin
Yeah.
- [59:10]
Fortune Feimster
We hear what Angela.
- [59:12]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, let's do it. That's why we're here, right? Yeah.
- [59:15]
Angela Johnson Reyes
My attitude. I'm gonna take it straight from today. We're selling our car. Okay. And so we go to carmax. Manny's like, I'm gonna take the car to carmax and we're gonna sell the car before we fly out. And he gets there and then calls me and is like, hey, the car's under your name. You actually have to be the one.
- [59:32]
May Martin
To come out here.
- [59:33]
Angela Johnson Reyes
I hadn't even showered yet.
- [59:35]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [59:35]
Angela Johnson Reyes
And I have Rosie. I gotta change her diaper. I gotta get us both dressed. Rush, get in the car.
- [59:40]
May Martin
Yeah. Be over there.
- [59:41]
Angela Johnson Reyes
They're like, okay, you're next in line. I'm like, perfect. They're like, it should be like maybe like an hour. And I'm like, wait, hold on. I thought it was next. And then rushed back home, took a shower, and I was ready, like right before you walked in the door. So that's my attitude, is like having to go waste time.
- [59:58]
May Martin
Yeah.
- [59:59]
Angela Johnson Reyes
To go sell a car at CarMax. Against my magnitude. My gratitude is I. I feel like I would say this every single day of my life, but my daughter, always. I am grateful for her love for music. Oh, she loves music. She loves to sing. She loves to dance. She's. She has rhythm. Like, she's on beat when she claps and when she dances. And even like the intro of a song, it's like, music, music, music. And then it goes. And then the beat drops.
- [60:34]
May Martin
Whatever.
- [60:35]
Angela Johnson Reyes
She's full on. Like, she follows the beat.
- [60:39]
May Martin
Yeah.
- [60:39]
Angela Johnson Reyes
And she just. I love watching her love music. And that's what I'm. I'm grateful for.
- [60:45]
Fortune Feimster
That's great.
- [60:46]
May Martin
We didn't even talk about. Angela's so funny. She's a. Many people know who she is. But she's such an awesome stand up. Some people know her from back in the day, from the mad TV day. She was one of the early people that like blew up on YouTube. Like her nail salon video went like viral, viral, viral. And she just is just one of the funniest stand ups.
- [61:10]
Tig Notaro
And she's back at YouTube, right. With her latest stand up special. That's awesome.
- [61:16]
May Martin
And an NFL cheerleader back in the day, I think she was for the Raiders, I want to say.
- [61:20]
Tig Notaro
Well, I'll tell you what, you know who was? Not me. All three of us.
- [61:26]
Fortune Feimster
Speak for yourself. Yeah. Well, this has been lovely.
- [61:33]
May Martin
I mean, hasn't it guys? I love catching up with you.
- [61:37]
Tig Notaro
Indeed. Indeed. And yeah. And you and you and you. What, what do you have going on, friends?
- [61:45]
May Martin
Well, I'm on my Taking Care of Biscuits tour and it's in full swing starting in June 5th. St. Louis, the Kansas City. I have a 4pm show on June 7th. I would love people to come to then. Mulvane, Kansas, Las Vegas, Lexington, Kentucky, Knoxville, Tennessee, Asheville, North Carolina. And then we just added like a ton more in like Houston and D.C. and Boston, Chicago, all those good places.
- [62:15]
Tig Notaro
Love it. And how's the material coming?
- [62:17]
May Martin
It's like coming.
- [62:18]
Tig Notaro
It's feeling good.
- [62:19]
May Martin
Really good. Yeah. You know, there'll be, it'll, it'll keep evolving and. But the, you know, I was so nervous when this tour started about like what, what am I going to talk about? But it's. The stories have been super fun.
- [62:32]
Tig Notaro
That's great. What about you, little cowboy?
- [62:34]
Fortune Feimster
The things the shows I'm really excited about and would love to sell out are in June. June 10th I'm in San Francisco playing my, my music album. June 12th in Portland. I've never been to Portland before in my whole life.
- [62:47]
Tig Notaro
Portland, Oregon?
- [62:48]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [62:49]
Tig Notaro
Wow. That place was made for you.
- [62:51]
May Martin
Yeah.
- [62:51]
Fortune Feimster
Really?
- [62:52]
Tig Notaro
Yes.
- [62:53]
Fortune Feimster
I can't wait.
- [62:54]
May Martin
The Northwest in general is a very beautiful area.
- [62:57]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, I was thinking about camping or something. Once I say that I'm not going to do that. I said I was thinking about it, but yeah. And then June 13th I'm in Vancouver at the Vogue Theater, which is a beautiful big theater where I film my stand up special actually. And yeah, playing music. So come. I'm going to do more covers. I'm going to play new tunes. I want to play the whole album. And what about you?
- [63:21]
Tig Notaro
The documentary I produced. Come see me in the Good Light. Listen, it's not often that Tribeca Film Festival takes a film that already premiered at Sundance. And you know what they're taking.
- [63:32]
May Martin
That's right, they did.
- [63:34]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. It's exciting. It's the weekend of June 6th. There's several screenings. And then, let's see. I'll be at Largo June 13, and then I'll be in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, June 14. Then I'll be at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles June 21. August 23, I'll be in P Town. I have two shows. I think the first is sold out. The second is maybe almost sold out. But check online. The documentary, it was purchased by Apple and it'll be premiering in the fall. But we are hitting so many festivals right now. And you can also get handsome merch@handomepod.com.
- [64:22]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, man, we got good stuff.
- [64:24]
Tig Notaro
Lovely items.
- [64:25]
May Martin
Oh, yeah, I've been seeing our new teas out in the wild there. Some people came to the. To my last show with the. The rocker kind of tea.
- [64:34]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, like metal.
- [64:35]
May Martin
Yeah, that one looks really cool.
- [64:38]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [64:39]
May Martin
Yeah.
- [64:39]
Tig Notaro
Well, I don't know. I feel like this was solid and maybe until next time, we should just go ahead and keep it handsome.
- [64:49]
Fortune Feimster
Handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email us@handomepodmail.com and please follow us on social media at Handsomepod.
- [65:07]
May Martin
What a podcast.
- [65:09]
Fortune Feimster
What a podcast that was a hit. Gum podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.
- [65:21]
Tig Notaro
Like, you know, to check that you've got all the different types of cutlery and glassware and plates before inviting your friends over for a fancy dinner party. Or just use that stuff you have and pretend it's fancy.
- [65:34]
Fortune Feimster
Check in first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
- [65:47]
Tig Notaro
Hi, I'm Jesse Klein.
- [65:48]
Fortune Feimster
And I'm Liz Feldman. And we're the hosts of a new Headgum podcast called Here to Make Friends.
- [65:52]
Tig Notaro
Liz and I met in the writers room on a little hit TV show called Dead to Me, which is a show about murder.
- [65:59]
Fortune Feimster
But more importantly, it's also about two women becoming very good friends in their 40s.
- [66:03]
Tig Notaro
We which can really happen. And it has happened to us, it's true, because life has imitated ours and.
- [66:08]
Fortune Feimster
Then it imitated life.
- [66:09]
Tig Notaro
Time is a flat circle. And now we're making a podcast that's.
- [66:13]
Fortune Feimster
About making friends and we're inviting incredible guests like Vanessa Barrett Wow. I have so much to say. Lisa Kudrow feelings.
- [66:20]
May Martin
They're a nuisance. Nick Kroll I just wanted to say hi.
- [66:23]
Fortune Feimster
I'm Matt Rogers.
- [66:24]
May Martin
I'm, like, on the verge of tears.
- [66:25]
Tig Notaro
So good, so good to join us.
- [66:26]
Fortune Feimster
And hopefully become our friends in real life.
- [66:30]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Take it out of the podcast studio and into real life. Along the way, we are also going to talk about dating.
- [66:36]
Fortune Feimster
Yep.
- [66:36]
Tig Notaro
Spousing, True parenting, careering, and why we love Thelma and Louise. And it's the greatest movie of all time.
- [66:42]
Fortune Feimster
Shouldn't need to be said.
- [66:43]
Tig Notaro
No, we said it.
- [66:44]
Fortune Feimster
It's just a true thing. So please subscribe to Here to make friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts and watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Friday.