Breckin Meyer asks about breakups

Summary

Handsome Podcast

Episode: Breckin Meyer Asks About Breakups
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Date: November 18, 2025

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Overview

In this lively and heartfelt episode, the Handsome trio—Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin—tackle a question from longtime comedy and Hollywood presence Breckin Meyer: “When you go through a breakup, do you delete all photos and texts of the person, or do you hang on to them because they're your memories?” The discussion takes off from Breckin’s query and branches into breakups, memory-keeping, queer friendship circles, and emotional maturity, all while keeping listeners in stitches with the hosts’ signature banter about peanut butter, eyelid surgery, and memorable Cheesecake Factory trips.

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Main Discussion Themes

1. The Cheryl Hines & RFK Jr. Situation (03:16–13:18)

• Tig recounts the fallout from discussing Cheryl Hines (her former podcast co-host and friend) and Cheryl’s political associations (with husband RFK Jr.) on Tom Papa’s podcast.

  • Tig Notaro: “I didn't sever the friendship, but I did notice that once he was running for president and once I stepped away from our old podcast, I never heard from her again other than nice responses to me sending love...” (09:23)
  • The whole scenario brings up questions about setting boundaries with friends who adopt political stances that are fundamentally at odds with your own or who drift into “extreme ideology.”
  • The experience leads Tig to draw lines for her own well-being, acknowledging the difficulty of “pretending” and the gradual realization that the separation is necessary.

2. Personal Updates & Lighthearted Banter (13:41–40:56)

• Tig’s Eyelid Surgery: Tig shares her upcoming eyelid surgery news, jokes about turning into a plastic surgery influencer (“I’m gonna do a plastic surgery podcast. As like an expert…” 14:38), and teases about wearing an eye patch.
• TV Appearance Prep: Mae is excited for upcoming spots on Drew Barrymore and Kelly Clarkson’s shows, prompting giggly advice from Fortune and Tig about on-air warmth and celebrity gift baskets. Mae: “I’m so scared that I’m gonna be the one person who she’s like six feet away from…” (19:02).
• Cheesecake Factory Stories: Fortune describes a sweet moment with comedian friends at the Grove, leading to a tangent about paying bills, Cheesecake Factory reward programs, and favorite cheesecake flavors.
• Peanut Butter Corner: A delightful detour about peanut and almond butters turns into extended riffing, resulting in a bit called “Peanut Butter Corner” and plenty of double entendre-laden laughter (“If I’m fingering any peanut butter, it’s this one…” – Fortune, 31:30, to peals of laughter.)

3. Listener Question: Breckin Meyer on Breakups (41:01–54:04)

Breckin's Question (41:01)

"When you go through a breakup, do you delete all photos and texts of the person, or do you hang on to them because they're your memories, even though they're tough?" – Breckin Meyer

Host Reflections

• Mae: “I keep everything… even if it was a bad breakup,” and is generally friends with most exes, viewing memories as valuable and formative. (43:30–45:01)
• Fortune: Has never really thought about erasing photos—“they’re memories.” She acknowledges that with a ten-year relationship, it’s a huge part of her life. (46:03)
• Tig: Also doesn’t erase mementos or photos, though she doesn’t display them. She recounts a story wherein a former partner (who later became an actress on One Mississippi) was suggested for a role by Tig’s current spouse, Stephanie:

  “She just feels like if you had a connection, why not continue that connection in a different way? And I just really appreciated it.” (47:21)

• All three discuss staying friends with exes as being especially prevalent in the queer community due to smaller social circles—sometimes, as Mae says humorously, “have you slept with all of these people?” (49:40)

Community and Boundaries

• The trio note that in “non-traditional” communities, people often retain close ties with past partners—sometimes even inviting exes to weddings. Fortune: “Life’s too short. I don’t wish anyone ill will. Even if it ended not great, I’m very much like, go live your best life, be happy.” (52:07)
• The conversation turns to emotional growth through past relationships, generosity towards exes, and having gratitude for former connections—even tough departures.

Notable Anecdotes

• Tig’s “Breakup Hack”: She once set an unflattering photo of an ex as her phone/computer wallpaper to dull lingering attraction after a tough split.

  "I just saw her looking her absolute worst. And I'd be like, yeah, I don't need that." (55:32)

• Fortune’s “Dinner Dump”: A prospective date came over—then immediately revealed she was in love with her roommate, but offered to cook shrimp tacos anyway. Fortune, ever the pragmatist:

  “Because those are the only tacos I’m eating tonight, am I right?” (57:35)
  Both Tig and Mae dissolve into laughter, with Tig humorously dissociating by humming.

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Breckin Meyer’s Answer (59:54)

“My answer is I would just not look at them until I’m okay looking at them, but I want to keep the memories. I used to be the Men in Black guy who wishes everyone I was ever with was on a deserted island… but now I’m mature and wear sweaters.”

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On irreconcilable differences:
  “My point is, Stephanie and I don't agree on the temperature in our house, but I would not frame it like, ‘Stephanie and I don’t agree on everything.’” – Tig Notaro (08:21)
• On community and exes:
  “There's kind of a, maybe it's more common in the queer community that people sort of stay friends, maybe because there's fewer of us…” – Mae Martin (49:09)
• On keeping memories:
  “I'm grateful for those memories and that there were so many happy times—and the growth… it launches you to a new place.” – Tig Notaro (53:44)
• On food healing heartbreak:
  “You can dump me—and yes, I will eat those tacos.” – Fortune Feimster (58:25)
• Playful banter and inside jokes:
  The “Peanut Butter” riffing (especially Fortune’s commitment to her nut butter brand and double entendres around “fingering peanut butter”) sprinkled throughout 29:00–34:00, culminating in a running bit where co-hosts develop food-based alter egos.
• Candid self-reflection:
  “We’re all just like muddling through life… you meet people, you know, where you’re at and sort of travel with them for a bit, and then if you grow together, you do, and if you don’t, you don’t.” – Mae Martin (54:04)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Cheryl Hines/RFK Jr. fallout & friendship boundaries: 03:16–13:18
• Tig’s eyelid surgery/personal news: 13:41–15:17
• Mae’s upcoming TV appearances and advice: 18:28–22:30
• Cheesecake Factory / Peanut Butter Corner: 26:18–34:00
• Peanut Butter bit reaches peak: 31:30
• Listener question introduction: 41:01
• Breakup philosophy & ex relationships: 43:30–54:04
• Tig’s breakup “screen-saver solution”: 55:23–55:37
• Fortune’s shrimp taco heartbreak: 55:54–58:36
• Breckin Meyer’s own answer: 59:54
• Discussion on snuggles & closing banter: 60:30–61:30

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Tone & Style Highlights

• Warm, ridiculous, and delightfully irreverent
• Emphasis on friendship, emotional maturity, and acceptance after breakups
• Playful sidebar humor (peanut butter, cheesecake, eyelid surgery) provides comic relief to tender reflections
• Open-hearted discussions around queer community norms and boundaries

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Summary

This episode combines the hilarious irreverence Handsome is known for with a surprisingly vulnerable and wise exploration of breakups, boundaries, and the value of memory—no matter how bittersweet. While drifting into energetic food debates and personal updates (with plenty of asides about peanut butter and cheesecake), Tig, Fortune, and Mae stay grounded in what it means to love, lose, and move forward, all while keeping it handsome.

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For best moments, watch this episode on YouTube—the facial reactions, especially during Peanut Butter Corner and Tig’s post-surgery squinting, are a comedic bonus!

Transcript

[May Martin]

This is a Headgun podcast.

[Thomas Willette]

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[May Martin]

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[Thomas Willette]

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[May Martin]

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[Thomas Willette]

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[May Martin]

With friends on the Handsome Pot. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Cheers.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey, it's your friend Tig Notaro on the Handsome Pod. I'm sitting here with my co host.

[May Martin]

May Martin and Fortune Feemster.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, good to see you guys. We did live recordings yesterday. I've been thinking a lot about them. How fun and electrifying that is to be in the same room with the loves of my life.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. Getting kisses.

[May Martin]

I mean, we lit up, let's be honest. We lit up.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that's. My stage name is Les Be Honest Lesbian. I am the lesbian that tells the truth.

[May Martin]

I like that.

[Tig Notaro]

Speaking of, I do want to mention that. Well, I did our friend Tom Papa's podcast.

[May Martin]

You were lesbian. You were lesbianist on that.

[Tig Notaro]

I was lesbianist and I know Tom Papa.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've done a radio show with him for the last five years on SiriusXM.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, you do know him.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know this. You've been on our show.

[Tig Notaro]

But you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did his own podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, I did. I love Tom. I think he's one of the funniest comedians. He's just. He's so. I love ridiculousness.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. He's great.

[Tig Notaro]

He is a silly, silly man.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Well, you. It got picked up by the news.

[Tig Notaro]

It did, because. But I didn't know. That's what I was telling you guys before the podcast is. I was getting texts and emails from friends that I was a little surprised. Listen to Tom Papa's podcast. One of the people that reached out was Lucy Lawless from the show Xena. And you know, she's living in. In New Zealand.

[Fortune Feimster]

New Zealand. Nar.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, boy. Living on her farm. And then I. I get this email. I actually, I didn't even know what it was about at first because she.

[Fortune Feimster]

Was like, did she start it with hello, Lesbianis?

[Tig Notaro]

She sure did. No, she was just like, hey, Rob, her. That's her husband. She said, rob and I are so proud of you for speaking out.

[May Martin]

And.

[Tig Notaro]

And I. I honestly thought for a second that she sent the wrong. Like an email to the wrong person. And I was. I was like, I'm gonna write her later in the day. And I kept getting these texts and emails like, hey, you know, thanks for speaking out. And I. Oh, hey, I listened to Tom, My friend who lives in France wrote me, and he said, hey, loved you on Tom Papa's. What you said on Tom Papa's show. And I was like, God. Not that Tom isn't a loved and popular comedian or podcaster, but it was. They were just friends that. I was just a little surprised that that was their wheelhouse in podcasting. And I, meanwhile, later found out that my manager reached out and said, just so you know, Fox News reached out wanting to talk to you because of what you said about Cheryl Hines on Tom's podcast.

[May Martin]

Right.

Because you.

I mean, I feel like you've spoken around it on this pod, but this was the first time that you were sort of direct.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Directly addressed it directly.

[Tig Notaro]

I didn't feel like I thought it was clear where I stood. I had a podcast with her. I had a long standing friendship. She was, you know, just a really important person in my life. I loved being ridiculous with her.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, you guys were very funny together.

[Tig Notaro]

It was silliness. And I remember, you know, I forgot that Tom listened to that podcast. And so when I was on his show, it wasn't like a setup. I didn't know he was gonna ask Me. But he was asking or brought up that show, and as I was talking to him, I was thinking, oh, right. I remember him writing me from time to time about different episodes. So. But yeah, we would talk about a different podcast or a different documentary every week, but barely. We mainly just talked about who we were attracted to and on the documentary and. And then we would do live streams where we would, like, slap each other in the face and take shots. And it wasn't terrible. It wasn't terribly presidential or political.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, not political at all.

[Tig Notaro]

Not in the slightest bit.

[May Martin]

God, that's so. It makes it so much more heartbreaking because, yeah, that was so. Such a golden moment and friendship. But I didn't hear what you said on the phone.

[Fortune Feimster]

I didn't hear it either. I don't know what was said.

[Tig Notaro]

I just basically said that. Just that she was one of my favorites and somebody I absolutely loved being silly. One of my favorite things to do is find a bit and tee somebody up to do something stupid and ridiculous. Like, I love to sit back and, like, you know, be like, oh, yeah, and how would that look and entertain me? Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And so Cheryl, I don't know. She was just a real bright spot in my life. And.

[May Martin]

And for people who don't know, Cheryl is married to RFK Jr. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Some wild opinions. Wild in the power to. Has the power now to enact some.

[May Martin]

Of these things to, like, legislate his wild opinions.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, yeah. And he's also a part of an administration where they are ruining. There's a lot of issues that I do not believe in that he is endorsing, that Cheryl is clearly endorsing.

[May Martin]

And it must have been confusing as a friend, but it's almost like. Because I feel like initially it was. There was a separation of like, well, yeah, he's got his opinions, but, you know, and then it slowly's become like. Like sort of must be sort of validating that you were like, oh, no, this is a problem, because now it clearly has evolved into, you know.

[Tig Notaro]

But that's. That's what I talked about on Tom's podcast is that she says, you know, that we don't agree on everything. And I think having such a vague statement, you can choose to think that she really doesn't believe in a lot of what he's doing. But my point is Stephanie and I don't agree on the temperature in our house. But I would not frame it like, Stephanie and I don't agree on everything.

[May Martin]

Right.

[Tig Notaro]

You know. You know what I'm saying? It's too vague and there's too much of a gap there.

[May Martin]

And it's very strange. And well, like Thomas was saying, I think a lot of people can relate to this, of having someone they love in their family or a friend who's just sort of drifting into a pretty extreme ideology and how do you maintain a relationship? And where's your, where do you draw the line? And I think, well, and it took.

[Tig Notaro]

Me, honestly, it took me a while to draw a line because I, I continued to reach out to Cheryl and say, you know, hey, I'm thinking about you. Hey, I hope you're doing okay. Hey, I'm sending love. And, and I care about you. And she would respond really pleasantly and friendly and say, oh, thank you for this. And I was open to, hey, let's remain friendly. And yeah, this, you know. You know, I, I cared about, I care about sharing for sure. That doesn't change. It's just, it's. It's hard to pretend. Like it's weird that anybody's confused because it's a real about face. It is a real about face. So I, I didn't sever the friendship, but I did notice that once he was running for president and once I stepped away from our old podcast, I never heard from her again other than nice responses to me sending love when I thought maybe she needs support or maybe she's feeling this way or that based on what I knew of her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

So, wow.

[May Martin]

So that's been your, your week is.

Or was it yesterday?

You got all these messages.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah, I think, yeah, it just started popping up this morning.

[May Martin]

Yeah, Right.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, no, I mean for me yesterday, Yesterday morning is I woke up to my email from Lucy Lawless. And then I, I continued to get.

[May Martin]

Surreal sentence for me like that was Lucy recently?

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Again, I was like, wow, Lucy follows Tom Pappa's podcast. That's so cool. And then I did. I thought all these people were just listening to Tom's podcast and maybe they are. But then my manager reached out and said Fox News wanted to talk to you and I can't wait for you.

[Fortune Feimster]

To go on Fox News.

[May Martin]

I can't wait.

[Tig Notaro]

And then I drift into Magia.

[May Martin]

You're like, actually, they had a lot of good points.

[Fortune Feimster]

All of a sudden, dig's like, I would like to amp this other podcast back up with Cheryl again.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, well, they do, you know, but that's the thing is I did. I. She and I had like a four hour conversation and, and she went through different issues and Encouraged me to sit down with Bobby and I was like, let me think on this. And then I woke up and I was like, yeah, no, thank you.

[May Martin]

It's so hard.

[Fortune Feimster]

What's at stake for Yalls own personal lives is very different too.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's what people don't really realize. It's not just the. Like, you have your opinion, I have mine. Like your life is affected by, you know, these legisl. This legislation that could, you know.

[May Martin]

Yeah. When it's like fundamentally about whether you or. Or any demographic should have fewer rights than you, kind of.

[Tig Notaro]

There's absolutely, you know, where do you go from there? Right.

[May Martin]

Is there anything. Can we try and say something on the pod that gets picked up? Fox News. Is there anything. Can we throw.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

We want to diversify. Listener.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't like me that crossfire. I've been there before. It's not fun.

[May Martin]

You're right. Actually. Let's keep our heads below the parapet. But maybe just a little.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have gotten death threats before.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, see, and that's the thing is. Is when Bobby, you know, was running for president and then endorsed Trump and I was still tied to Cheryl in ways that was the other issue was this isn't my world. I am. This is not my world. And if you're choosing to go into that world, that is your business. But I have to step outside because I didn't know. And I still don't know where this road is going, but it's not one that I'm interested in.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah. That's just not what your lane is.

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

Anyway.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Anyway, anyhow, anyhow, does anyone else have any friends they're not doing podcasts with?

[May Martin]

Well, I did want to mention to you guys I'm out. Oh, no, just kidding.

[Tig Notaro]

I also want to warn you guys, remember have how I had a droopy eyelid?

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I was gonna check. We wanted to check.

[Tig Notaro]

I had my three hour doctor appointment yesterday.

[Fortune Feimster]

Three hours?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, because it could be very minor to a stroke to a tumor. So I was. I was kind of like, oh boy. Come on, man. Come on.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And so, hey, it's all right. It's just the muscle. But I do have to get eyelid surgery. So this is going to be my first parlay into face work.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh my God. You're getting a be. You're getting a beauty surgery.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you see this? This eye?

[Fortune Feimster]

I hope you recover at a fancy Beverly Hills hotel.

[Tig Notaro]

It's gonna take me a couple of weeks to recover, but there are going to be before and after pictures.

[Fortune Feimster]

Will you please do a podcast and one eye? Well, no.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm also. I'm gonna do a plastic surgery podcast.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

As like an expert, but does this.

[May Martin]

Mean you're going to be wearing an eye patch for a period of time?

[Tig Notaro]

God, they didn't say yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

With an iPad.

[Tig Notaro]

They didn't say I had to, but I might just to make it dramatic.

[May Martin]

Do.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do the eye patch and the mustache.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, what mustache? I don't have a mustache.

[Fortune Feimster]

When you do your mustache. Stop.

[Thomas Willette]

Sorry, girl.

[May Martin]

In solidarity, I'll. I'll wear an eye patch or I'll punch myself in the eye. So I got a black eye.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, man.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do that May. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Anyway, there's all my news. Let's hear yours.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow, look at you just hitting the new the old news circuit.

[Tig Notaro]

Fox News and Face work. Classic Tig updates.

[Thomas Willette]

Oh.

[May Martin]

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[Thomas Willette]

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[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[Thomas Willette]

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[May Martin]

My news is I'm. I didn't sleep very well. That's not really fun news. But next week I'm going to New York and I'm doing Drew Barrymore's show and Kelly Clarkson. Yeah, that's right. I'm so excited. I've been trying to do Drew Barrymore's show forever. You guys both know her. I've never met her. I'm hoping in love. I'm gonna be in love. I know it. I'm gonna be eye contact, holding hands.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, please hold hands. Oh, my Lord.

[Tig Notaro]

She would snuggle with you on the couch. Anything goes with Drew.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

So scared that I'm gonna be the one person who she's like six feet away from.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, no.

[Tig Notaro]

There's no world.

[Fortune Feimster]

There's no motorboated Drew. When I did her show.

[Tig Notaro]

I have regrets.

[Fortune Feimster]

Fortune Marie out here in the open motorboat. Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

You say it like it was your choice and you just decided not to.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think Drew would have been totally fine with it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I guess you're right.

[May Martin]

No, but do you guys have any tips for for doing shows like that. Or Kelly Clarkson like.

[Fortune Feimster]

Or is there any outfit picked?

[May Martin]

Girl, you know I do. No, I don't.

[Tig Notaro]

Is it sleeveless? Come on.

[May Martin]

No. I've lost my definition on the old triceps.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would say that of all the people that you could be doing interviews with, these are two of the friendliest. There's truly nothing to be nervous about with either of them because they're both chatters and they're both very warm people.

[May Martin]

Yeah, like it'll be a legit conversation.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, for sure. And Kelly's just like, I don't want to brag. I've done Kelly's show 10 times. The most of anyone on the Kelly Clarkson show. I've gotten a jacket. I've gotten a year's free Jenny's ice cream.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my Lord.

[May Martin]

A year's free Jenny's ice cream.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. When I did 10 episodes, they gave me.

[May Martin]

Holy shit.

[Fortune Feimster]

Year of Jenny's. Which I shared with my manager. I can't.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, that was my next question. Did you share?

[Thomas Willette]

I shared.

[May Martin]

Girl. So I'm going to be asking should about that. I mean, should I. Should I pass on a message to.

[Fortune Feimster]

Either of them to Kelly? Well, Kelly knows that I am obsessed with her voice. I have been talking about Kelly and her singing since Chelsea lately. Days.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, you know, you do your pre interview with the producer to go over what you're going to talk about. So for. For the Drew show, they were like, oh, we heard that you guys talk about Drew quite a bit on the pod. Like she's like a friend. I was like, yeah, I guess she does come up quite a bit. But they're like, what do you say about her? I was like, I don't know. What am I gonna say? Fortune. Sachi didn't motorboat.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think we just have always commented on that. She's so fun and friendly and we like that she doesn't have any personal space, boundaries.

[May Martin]

I mean, we're projecting that she has no personal.

[Fortune Feimster]

She does not.

[May Martin]

You can look at the.

[Fortune Feimster]

You can look at every interview and see that she does not.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, neither thankful.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, but we celebrate this. We're not.

[Tig Notaro]

That's what I'm looking for.

[May Martin]

Yeah, me too.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, it's just really like, prepare yourself.

[May Martin]

I want that. I mean, I want to kiss all my friends anyway and spoon them.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, because, you know, Ross Matthews is her co host and he's amazing too. You'll love him.

[May Martin]

Okay, great. Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

We should get him to ask a handsome pod question as well.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, we should.

[May Martin]

That's a good idea.

[Fortune Feimster]

But he's the nicest guy ever. She's lovely. It really both shows, you'll be like, oh, I can't believe this is already over. It'll go by quickly.

[May Martin]

Okay, great, great.

[Tig Notaro]

And you'll want to keep in touch, but you just have to pull it together and move it along.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, I didn't tell. I did tell. I don't want to bring up old wounds, but, yeah, I did talk to Kelly about how I sang with Atlantis, and Kelly was so jealous. And then Kelly recently also sang with Atlantis. Oh, so she really one up to me.

[May Martin]

Oh, God.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, where does this leave me?

[May Martin]

Yeah, take.

You're not. You're not even in this fight, you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Know, because you don't want it. Doesn't that seem like a lifetime ago? It was just last summer, Bill.

[May Martin]

Wait, was it really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. Yeah, not this summer. But no, you're right.

[May Martin]

It was like a year ago.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey, it was just two summers ago.

[Fortune Feimster]

It almost brought the whole podcast down.

[May Martin]

So should I. Maybe I'll bring that up with Kelly.

[Fortune Feimster]

You could be. But, like, I'm so glad you got a chance to sing with me.

[May Martin]

Think of my own. My own anecdotes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah, you've got some anecdotes.

[May Martin]

I can't just go on and be like, I heard Fortune got ice cream. I heard Fortune said. No, no, no.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune said she got this in her goodie bag. Fortune said, what do I share with my manager? When do I get my moment? You're the number one star in the world.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right. Talk about that. Talk about being number one on IMDb star meter that Tig's currently tracking.

[May Martin]

Still you got.

[Tig Notaro]

What do you mean, currently? I've always tracked everyone's star meter on IMDb.

[Fortune Feimster]

Tig will just send text to her actor friends that says number. Hey, you've gone up 780. Down from last week. But there's always next week.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune, bad news. You've gone down 100 points.

[Fortune Feimster]

No one's Googling you this week.

[Tig Notaro]

That's funny.

[Fortune Feimster]

You'll come up with some fun stuff. They like, you know, antidotes about your show and then. Or antidotes they with Tony. That was like. Like little other, like, celebrity antidotes.

[May Martin]

Are we gonna comment on that? You're saying. And antidotes. Can we can or should we let it slide?

[Tig Notaro]

No, you should get me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I get you. What did I say? How do you say it for real Anecdotes? Yeah, anecdote. Because antidotes Anecdotes.

[May Martin]

An antidote is like a cure, you guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm not just here to dish it. I can also take it.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't do any. I don't dish it, and I don't take it.

[May Martin]

I mainly take it.

[Tig Notaro]

I. I would love to be annihilated by both of you. Maybe we should do, like, one of those, like, when people roast each other.

[May Martin]

A roast. Paddle roast.

[Tig Notaro]

We should just roast each other.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my o. I don't like that. I don't.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm not really a roast person.

[Fortune Feimster]

Me neither. I. I can watch it and enjoy it, but I don't want to be a part of it. Yeah.

[May Martin]

I can't even really watch it and.

Well, so.

No. Sometimes, like, you'll see a clip online of someone who's just written such clever, great jokes, but.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Well, I mean, the roast battles can change someone's trajectory. Our pal Nikki Glazer, who's so funny, she's about to host Saturday Night Live.

[Thomas Willette]

Or maybe.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, she is. It may be this week.

[Thomas Willette]

She.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

They just.

[Fortune Feimster]

They announced it in October.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow.

[Fortune Feimster]

That in November, she is going to host snl. Isn't that wild? Yeah.

[May Martin]

That's amazing.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's really cool.

[May Martin]

Wait.

Oh, sorry.

[Tig Notaro]

I was just gonna say, I love that when we brought up roasting, we all went. No, I don't like.

[May Martin]

I know this is why this podcast works, is that we're all.

We're.

We have certain things in common.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

That's a little mean for me.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I don't know about that.

[May Martin]

No.

Thank you, Fortune. Did you end up going to Cheesecake Factory yesterday?

[Tig Notaro]

Good question.

[Fortune Feimster]

Good question.

[May Martin]

How was it? Tell us everything.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was amazing. I went to the Grove. I haven't been there in, like, two years. And it was. I think the last time I was there was for Taylor Swift's premiere of her film movie.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Not this latest one, but Tay Tay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Tay Tay, as we call her. And it was fantastic. I went with Zach, Noy Towers and Taylor Tomlinson. And I was. I was gonna pay because Zach's birthday is in two days and he got.

[Thomas Willette]

Up to use the bathroom and gave.

[Tig Notaro]

His car to the waiter.

[May Martin]

I love that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Trying to take. You know, if you. For those that don't know Zach, he's very gay. And it was just funny that he.

[Tig Notaro]

Was gayer than you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, way gayer than me. It just funny he was taking care of his women.

[May Martin]

I love when a secret. A secret pain. Because I hate the awkwardness of dividing a bill. And I Hate this. I hate the awkwardness of debating. Like, no, no, I got this guy. So I think going to the bathroom and just smoothly doing.

I like.

I do that sometimes. I like it a lot.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was very sweet. He's a. He opens a lot for me and opens for Taylor quite a bit too. And he just was like, you guys have done so much for me in my career, and I just really appreciate both of you, and I wanted to.

[Thomas Willette]

Treat you to some Cheesecake Factory.

[Fortune Feimster]

So it was very sweet of him.

[Tig Notaro]

That's very nice.

[May Martin]

Well, I know your story about when you. When you tried to use a gift card, so I wonder if he secretly was using a gift card when he went to pay.

[Fortune Feimster]

He might have Cheesecake Factory points. I did get a cheap piece of cheesecake to go, because I. A fool.

[May Martin]

Yeah, you got to.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I didn't know he was paying. I didn't mean to be like, oh, and now that you're paying, I would also like a piece of cheesecake to go.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you make the. The classic joke of, had I known you were paying, I would have gotten a whole cheesecake?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, but I should have. However, listen, I don't shy away from a deal. I got to the Cheesecake Factory before them, and they were like, if you sign up for the rewards program, you.

[Thomas Willette]

Get half off your cheesecake. So I was like, I'm sitting here.

[Fortune Feimster]

Why sign up for a deal?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

So he only had to pay half for the cheesecake. Okay, you're welcome. But now I'm probably gonna get five texts today from Cheesecake Factory.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

So you. You joined the Cheesecake Factory frequent flyer program.

[May Martin]

That's awesome.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. It's like, you can get a free piece of cheesecake on your birthday. I'm like, yeah, Ken girl. So, yeah, I'm not above it.

[May Martin]

What kind of. What kind of cheesecake do you go with? The peanut butter?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm always a peanut butter.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

I am a peanut butter.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you like peanut butter in general? Like, you, like, go from the jar?

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. I'm not a fan. I don't put my finger in the jar.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[May Martin]

I'm using a spoon, but I'm going.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I didn't say finger. Well, Fortune's like, I'm not an animal. I don't just lick straight from the peanut butter, John.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't go fingering my peanut butter.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, boy, here we go. See, I like peanut butter on an apple, peanut butter on a banana.

[Fortune Feimster]

Love those.

[Tig Notaro]

Those are my favorite snacks that I have near daily, you know, what peanut.

[Fortune Feimster]

Butter I really love.

[Tig Notaro]

What, dear?

[Fortune Feimster]

What's it called? Schneider's.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, the peanut butter and jelly swirl Schmuckers.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, hold on, Smuckers.

[Tig Notaro]

Hold on.

[Fortune Feimster]

Talk amongst yourselves.

[Tig Notaro]

Nope. We want our Schneider.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hanover Snyder. Is that it?

[May Martin]

Snyders of Hanover.

[Fortune Feimster]

Am I really gonna have to go in my pantry and find this out?

[Tig Notaro]

Because now, people, pretty important that we get the right information about this peanut butter.

[May Martin]

So you're googling Schneider's peanut butter. Nothing's coming.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's not tonight. Hold on. God, y'.

[Tig Notaro]

All. Sorry to bother you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Listeners will never be able to sleep if I don't get to the bottom of this. Y' all keep talking.

[May Martin]

No, we won't be talking.

[Tig Notaro]

Let's just sit here silently.

[May Martin]

We'll be waiting.

[Tig Notaro]

What if Fortune doesn't come back? What if that was Fortune's exit from the podcast forever?

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. Or from. Or if some.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, What?

[May Martin]

Actually, I was gonna say, like, she just perished. And that was her last words were May Marie.

[Tig Notaro]

That was her last words. It was like peanut butter.

[May Martin]

And she had to get on a little step ladder to reach her pantry.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, so cute. Not. Not tall enough to get her peanut butter. I. Oh, here comes the peanut butter.

[May Martin]

Here comes the peanut butter.

[Tig Notaro]

I will never, ever see Fortune the same now that I know she's the peanut butter.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, y', all, if I'm fingering any peanut butter, it's this one. It is called Lara Shutters.

[May Martin]

I never heard of it.

[Tig Notaro]

I have, but this is very anticlimactic. I'll be honest.

[Fortune Feimster]

It is.

[May Martin]

What were you expecting?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

Peanut butter.

[Fortune Feimster]

How Those was like.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, much better.

[Thomas Willette]

It's.

[Fortune Feimster]

I like the nutty one.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. Of course.

[Fortune Feimster]

What I like about it, it's all natural. I'm not getting sponsored by them. I'm just. I just am into it. It's all natural.

[Tig Notaro]

What's in the ingredients? Oh, well, that's how we find out if it's truly all natural.

[Fortune Feimster]

Huh? It is. Peanuts contains 1% or less of salt. That's all it said. That's the ingredients.

[May Martin]

Peanuts and salt. So I like a bit of sugar in my.

[Tig Notaro]

So you're a jiffy kind of kid?

[May Martin]

No, I draw the line at jiffy.

[Tig Notaro]

But it's a jiff or whatever it's called.

[May Martin]

Yeah. What's it called again? I'm gonna order some Laura Shutters.

But do you have to stir it?

Is it one of those?

[Fortune Feimster]

You do.

[May Martin]

Ah, see, I'm out.

[Tig Notaro]

May doesn't have that kind of time. Now that there's the number One star.

[Fortune Feimster]

The oil goes up to the top. You gotta stir it.

[May Martin]

But it sloshes around.

It gets on your hand.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, another good one. Again, not sponsored.

[May Martin]

This is Peanut Butter Corner.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is my Peanut Butter Corner. Almond butter at Trader Joe's.

[May Martin]

Oh, I like almond. But do you have to stir that one?

[Fortune Feimster]

It's their own brand. You do have to stir that, too. I don't know what to tell you.

[Tig Notaro]

May hire go with that fake shit? Willing to not stir.

[Thomas Willette]

What?

[Fortune Feimster]

What do you want from me?

[May Martin]

All right, I will.

[Fortune Feimster]

Don't eat that. No. Eat the.

[Tig Notaro]

The peanut butter bitch. Peanut butter bitch. Calm down.

[Fortune Feimster]

You want me to finger my peanut butter? No, ma'.

[Tig Notaro]

Am. No. Fortune. Fortune. Marie.

[Fortune Feimster]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

Put it down. I'm calling hr.

[May Martin]

I have never seen.

[Thomas Willette]

Yes.

[May Martin]

I've never seen Fortune laugh this.

[Fortune Feimster]

Talking about what we were talking about earlier. Then it cuts me over.

[Tig Notaro]

We just got an update. Fortune turned down a bit.

[May Martin]

Yeah, Thomas just commented. Fortune, turn your volume.

[Tig Notaro]

That's straight from HR by the way. Yeah, HR just reached out. Turn it down.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's. Is it because of the blah blah?

[Tig Notaro]

There's gonna be a lawsuit.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

That was fun.

[May Martin]

That was fun.

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[Thomas Willette]

Honey Love bras are my go to in every season. My favorite is their crossover bra, which gives all the support without any underwires. I'm comfy all day thanks to Honey Love. So what are you waiting for? Ditch the discomfort and step into confidence.

[May Martin]

This season, treat yourself or someone special to the most comfortable and innovative bras on earth. This holiday season, save 20% off site [e-mail] handsome use our exclusive link to get 20% off. That's honeylove.com handsome. After your purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Celebrate the season feeling confident and comfortable with Honey Love. Handsome loves our Pontis.

We appreciate a good set of underwear.

And that's why we love Tomboy X Tomboy X is in the business of butts. They've been making size and gender inclusive underwear for over 10 years, so they know a thing or two about making the perfect pair. They make premium underwear, bras, swimwear and loungewear that's queer designed because Tomboy X is also queer founded and queer run from thongs to boy shorts to briefs. Tomboy X offers 12 different silhouettes so you can get the support that you want. All their designs are created with all day comfort in mind from sizes extra small through 6x.

[Thomas Willette]

I love feeling comfortable in my skin and that's why I love Tomboy X. They even have a money back guarantee if the underwear they send you isn't the most comfortable you've ever worn. Guess what? The Tomboy X Black Friday sale is officially live with 30% off site wide and their holiday collection is out now. So while you're at it, grab a festive base layer or matching pajamas.

[May Martin]

Customers love Tomboy X with one review mentioning that the fabric cut, elasticity, waistband and design are Chef's kiss perfection. Head over to tomboyx.com and use promo code HANDSOME15 for 15 off your purchase and tell them Handsome Pods sent you cold mornings holiday plans. This is when I just want my wardrobe to be simple. Stuff that looks sharp, feels good and.

Things that I actually wear.

And for me that's quintessential. And the bonus quince pieces make really good gifts as well.

[Thomas Willette]

Quince's fall lineup is simple but smart, elegant but easy. $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters for everyday luxury wool coats that are stylish but also built to last.

[Fortune Feimster]

One thing I'm getting Quince is denim that comes in all your favorite cuts.

[Thomas Willette]

And colors from straight to flare, acid wash to black. I'm loving my Italian wool oversized blazer from quint and at $100 it's an incredible deal as well. Is perfect for cooler evenings and outdoor events.

[May Martin]

Give and get timeless holiday staples that last this season with quints go to quince.com handsome for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com handsome free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com handsome should we go to our question?

[Thomas Willette]

We should.

[Fortune Feimster]

By the way, I have half that cheesecake for today's lunch. Oh lovely. I'm gonna be another peanut butter y' all for lunch.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, new merch.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm about to be a peanut butter for lunch y'. All.

[Tig Notaro]

If we had shirts called Peanut Butter, that would be so fun for people that had no idea what that shirt meant.

[Fortune Feimster]

Peanut butter. Keep it handsome.

[Tig Notaro]

This peanut butter keeps it handsome.

[Fortune Feimster]

There you go.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[May Martin]

Oh, boy.

[Tig Notaro]

How did we find joy there?

[May Martin]

God. But did we ever.

[Tig Notaro]

Someone read this. I can't with my droopy eyes.

[May Martin]

I will. I'm thrilled and excited.

[Tig Notaro]

But once I get my plastic surgery reading everything.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're really. Keep it handsome. How dare you. Hey, everybody. Keep it handsome. My eyes already. Look. My eyes are so squinty.

[Tig Notaro]

This is what I'm gonna look like.

[May Martin]

After my plastic surgery.

[Fortune Feimster]

Look how squinty my eyes are always. So I'm not.

[Thomas Willette]

You know what?

[Tig Notaro]

Maybe I shouldn't get surgery and I should just hold my eyes up like this, and then I wouldn't even have any recovery time.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, do that.

[May Martin]

Too thick.

[Fortune Feimster]

I still can't say. I better.

[Tig Notaro]

Portia Marie.

[May Martin]

God. What's. What's Peanut Butter's like sidekick?

Or what's.

Can I be, like, jam jerk or something?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Jam jerk. You sure?

[Tig Notaro]

What am I. Who am I?

[Fortune Feimster]

Toast?

[May Martin]

No. I'm so excited to introduce our Question Asker today. Tig, this is too much. Go to YouTube and see what is happening here.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, come on over to YouTube.

[Fortune Feimster]

Come on.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune. Marie, I'm struggling. It's a medical condition.

[May Martin]

You look like when Martin Short plays a character who's had plastic surgery.

[Tig Notaro]

I love Marty.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, Marty. Why don't you ask us a question?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, Marty, Marty. Marty.

[Fortune Feimster]

And maybe Meryl.

[Tig Notaro]

Meryl and Marty.

[Fortune Feimster]

Meryl and Marty ask a duo question.

[May Martin]

That would be a big cat.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, sorry. May I apologize for Tig.

[May Martin]

Do I really. I. Okay, we're. I'm not gonna wait this out. Okay, this is happening, right? Okay. And now their eyes can't open. They just stay closed. I'm so excited about today's Question Asker. This is someone who I wanted to be when I was a kid and a teen. Effortlessly cool. I'm gonna say today's Question Asker is an actor, a writer, a musician who is Emmy nominated for his work on Robot Chicken. He's also starred in movies like Clueless.

Road Trip, and Garfield.

Brecken Meyer is asking today's question.

[Brecken Meyer]

Hey, handsome friends. It's Brecken Meyer with a question and an idea.

[Thomas Willette]

Sorry.

[Brecken Meyer]

Here's my question. When you go through a breakup, do you delete all photos and texts of the person, or do you hang on to them because they're your memories, and even though they're tough, you want to remember Them at some point, discuss.

[Tig Notaro]

I like this question.

[May Martin]

So do I.

And.

And you might remember I've talked about Brecken on the pod before because I went to the. God, this was a lifetime ago as well. The wga.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, the striker's strike. Picket lines.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I like the act. Out with your hand there, mate.

[May Martin]

That's jam. That's jam. Jerk in action.

[Fortune Feimster]

Jerking and peanut butter.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune. You need to take peanut butter. Fortune. Fortune. Fortune. HR is shaking his head. No.

[Fortune Feimster]

Peanut butter Bing ring.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Have I been called into hr? I'm so sorry.

[May Martin]

I didn't. Yeah, peanut butter.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was talking about peanut butter. I wasn't talking about anything else.

[Tig Notaro]

Go to YouTube.

[Fortune Feimster]

There was no. It was not just me talking about fingering. I was talking about peanut butter.

[Tig Notaro]

May, what were you saying?

[May Martin]

I was saying during the writer strike, I was protesting and I saw Breckin Meyer and I was.

[Fortune Feimster]

What is wrong with us today?

[May Martin]

I don't know.

[Tig Notaro]

I think we're still in love with seeing each other yesterday in person, in the same room.

[Thomas Willette]

And you.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm sorry, May. Sorry. Take. So rude. What?

[May Martin]

I was protesting and I saw Brecken Meyer and I. I did like an Instagram story where I was like, I saw my. My childhood crush Brecken Meyer, and I just. It didn't occur to me that he would see that. And then he. And then he DM me and was like, hey, saw you too. Should have said hi or something. I was like, oh, my God. Because in Clueless, his character Travis is like this sweet stoner, long hair, skateboarder guy. And I was like, that character was so sweet and pure and non threatening and funny. And I was like, that's who I want to be. That guy.

[Tig Notaro]

And that's who you've grown up to be.

[May Martin]

A sweet stoner.

[Fortune Feimster]

What's up?

[May Martin]

Hey, what's up, girl?

[Lamorne Morris]

Wow.

[Fortune Feimster]

Breakups.

[May Martin]

Breakups.

[Tig Notaro]

Do we know anything about this?

[May Martin]

None of us have been broken up with her. Broken up with anyone. I'm. I'm a. I. I keep. I'm like a little magpie and I. I keep everything. I can't. Yeah, I keep things. Even if it was a bad breakup, it's. I. I keep like love letters or things that feel important. I don't keep them out on display, like framed for, you know, I'm putting them away in a box, and then if I'm feeling real emo or. Or if I'm moving house, I might, like, look through stuff.

[Tig Notaro]

Moving house?

[May Martin]

Yeah, because you know when you're moving, you end up Going through all your shit. And then I'm like, oh, there's this box of old memories.

[Tig Notaro]

I've just never heard that saying. If you're moving house.

[May Martin]

Oh, maybe that's a British thing. If you're moving a moving house, what would you say?

[Fortune Feimster]

That might be a British thing. It's like when Australians say, I'm going to hospital, what would you say? They don't. I would say, I'm going to the hospital. They just say, I'm going to hospital.

[May Martin]

Oh, right. Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But it would probably be like this. I'm going. Wait, here we go. Oh, boy. Jennifer Lopez razor blades. I'm going to the. I'm going hospital.

[Tig Notaro]

Thank you, peanut butter.

[May Martin]

Thank you for that.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm going whole food beetle.

[Tig Notaro]

I think it's gonna stick. What were you saying, May?

[May Martin]

Oh, just that I. I keep stuff I like to, you know, and I'm. I'm generally friends with most exes and. And I'm like, that was an, you know, a nice time.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Not everyone, I guess, but I've never, like, burned stuff. I mean, I've never been like, I want every trace of that person out of my life. Like, I. You know what I mean? I might take down things that are immediately reminding me of the person. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I haven't even thought about that stuff, truth be told.

[Tig Notaro]

You haven't thought about what?

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, erasing photos or.

[May Martin]

Well, the one.

The thing with photos is annoying is your phone will randomly go, remember this, and it's like, right. Three years ago. And it's like the most painful memory.

Or it's like.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Edited together a video with sad music.

[Tig Notaro]

Of like, I thought about that phone, but thank you.

[May Martin]

Seriously, I.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's not something I don't. I don't really do that. Like, erase pictures and stuff. I mean, only if I look really.

[Thomas Willette]

Bad in the picture.

[Fortune Feimster]

Super chunky. Because. Yeah, like you said, they're. They're memories. I was at least in my last situation was together 10 years, so that's a lot of memories.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Situation.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And I'm not just over here going f. All that.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, there was a lot of good times, too, so I'm happy to remember the good times.

[May Martin]

Yeah. What about you, Tay? You keep. Are you like a. A memory keeper?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I. I don't. I don't. I. I don't go through and throw things out or, you know, or. I mean, same. I don't, like, put our old photo albums out on my coffee table.

[Fortune Feimster]

Things are on display now.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But it, like, you know, that'd be.

[May Martin]

A good way to send a message to Stephanie. Like, you better raise your game. You start putting.

[Tig Notaro]

Look how happy I was with her.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

One of the. The things that I really appreciated about Stephanie was this. This woman that I was involved with, kind of overlapping with Stephanie. She made an appearance on One Mississippi, and. And Stephanie actually suggested her for the role.

[May Martin]

That's pretty cool.

[Tig Notaro]

And I was like, really? And it was kind of a romantic person on the show. And I said I was surprised. And Stephanie said, well, I just feel like she's the right person for the role. And she said, so badass. She was like, and if you had a connection with her previously, why. Like, that's a real connection, and it'll probably read on camera, and. And she. She just feels like, if. If you had a connection, why not continue that connection in a different way? And I just. I really appreciated it.

[May Martin]

Yeah, it's very cool. I. I have often been in love with people who are impossible to make jealous because it's such a cool quality. If you're like, well, I saw him bumped into my ex the other day, and they're like, oh, great.

How are they?

And you're like.

[Fortune Feimster]

And, yeah, I don't get. I don't get crazy about people's exes. I'm just like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Stephanie's tight with. When I say tight, like, she and an ex of mine really, really like each other, and it brings me so much joy. Like, our kid. Our kids play together, and we hang out and our families, and it's just so. And that was a tough one. That's my ex that, like, I didn't know if we were gonna come back from because it all kind of went down during. When I was sick and my mother died, and it just got so complicated because we went through a breakup, and then my health issues exploded in the news and stuff, and it just wasn't a fun thing, I think, for. Yeah, it just was a little tricky in weird ways.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

But there is, like. I mean, there's kind of a. Maybe it's more common in the queer community that people sort of stay friends, maybe because there's fewer of us. Like, you stay. Like, I remember going out to a party, like a dance party or something with a bunch of friends, and I was dating Parvati, and poverty came over and was meeting a bunch of my friends. And then after, like, a couple of hours, she was like, like, have you slept with all of these people? And I was like. I was like, yeah, I guess I Have. But like.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes, I have. But like, oh, my God, that is not my situation.

[May Martin]

But we've stayed really. Stayed really close.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

But I don't think that happens as much in like the straight dating world, you know, like. Yeah. Or I have a T shirt from that. From an ex boyfriend that is so comfy and, and, and reassuring because I, I love that guy. So it's nice to.

[Thomas Willette]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

You know, I'll wear the T shirt frequently.

[Tig Notaro]

Why do you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Why do you think it is that it's more prevalent in our community?

[Tig Notaro]

I think it's like the nature of like women.

[May Martin]

Do you think? Or.

[Tig Notaro]

I. I think like. Well, I think.

[May Martin]

I think maybe with.

It happens with gay men too and non binary people.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think just be like a non traditional.

[Tig Notaro]

Everything's already so non traditional that it's like, why would, why would we follow any other rules right now?

[May Martin]

Yeah. And. And also I think community is important and so. And, and communities are pretty small, like in, in, in different cities and in Toronto especially, it was like, you know, that L word thing of the, The Venn diagram or the chart.

[Tig Notaro]

The chart.

[May Martin]

The chart that like, connects everyone who's like, been involved with each other. It's just a smaller group. So if you start cutting off everybody who's like.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right.

[May Martin]

Dated your friend or any. Then you end up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

You kind of have to.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

We had a couple. Not on my exes, but at the our wedding stuff. And I don't even think twice about it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I didn't have like a ton of serious, serious relationships prior.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

So it was, There was nothing too heavy that I was coming from.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And some, some I talked to and some we just have lost touch. But.

[May Martin]

Yeah, there are definitely exes of mine that I don't talk to as well, like, where it was just too heavy or weird.

[Fortune Feimster]

But a couple that you're like, no, thanks.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, there's. Yeah. I have a couple that I'm not in contact with.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And it wasn't like a terribly fun departure.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Right. But we're friendly and there's not anybody I wouldn't love to hear was thriving in their life and happy and like, there is not a single nobody.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

There's no one even like, going back to like, Cheryl's not my ex or anything, but.

[Fortune Feimster]

So it's a breakup of sorts.

[Tig Notaro]

It is. And you know, I just.

[Fortune Feimster]

There's.

[Tig Notaro]

There's no part of me that is excited by somebody not being happy or struggling or anything like that. There's really not. And especially exes I. Man, would I be thrilled to hear that anyone I was ever with was just happy, thriving, thriving, thriving.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm the same. Life's too short. I don't wish anyone ill will. Even if it's. It didn't work out with us or even if it ended not great. I am very much like, go live your best life. Have be happy. Like if you weren't happy with me or we had whatever.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, we just couldn't get it together. Like, I. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have that happiness with somebody else. Even in this most recent situation. I want her to have the best everything.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And be genuinely happy and good.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

So, yeah. I don't look at, I don't look at memories or pictures or experiences with any sort of taint on them from like, what? Like the same whatever. I said taint.

[May Martin]

No, that's, that's right. You used it right.

[Tig Notaro]

No, I know she did.

[Fortune Feimster]

Trying to make sure Fortune Marie me. But I don't have this like stink on it now.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Where I look back on any of it. Like, ugh. Yeah. I'm, I'm grateful for those memories and that there were so many happy times.

[Tig Notaro]

And, and the growth.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You get from all of these things that were tremendous and terrible and yeah, man, it launches you to a new place.

[May Martin]

We're all like little. I mean, like the retreat I just went to, like by the end of it I just felt so clearly like we're all just like muddling through life.

[Fortune Feimster]

And like doing the best they can.

[May Martin]

Everyone's doing their best. You meet people, you know where you're at and sort of travel with them for a bit and then if you grow together, you do, and if you don't, you don't. And yeah, I mean, that's boundaries with people, I think.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I mean, especially in these longer term relationships, I, I feel like I'm so different than I was was 10 years ago. She's so different than we were 10 years ago. And sometimes you grow together, sometimes you change. And that's a part of the journey too.

[Tig Notaro]

When I split with this one. Oh. Actually the same one that made an appearance on One Mississippi when we were like going our separate ways. It was, there was a little, you know, not. I mean it was, of course it was emotional, it was hard. But what I did to move on quickly was I grabbed this really unattractive picture that she jokingly sent me while we were involved and I used it as my screen saver on everything. So every Time.

[May Martin]

Oh, that's genius.

[Tig Notaro]

I open my computer, turn my phone on. I just. Just saw her looking her absolute worst.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's.

[Tig Notaro]

And I'd be like, yeah, I don't need that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Can I. Can I tell you a funny way? I got let down easy. There was a. This was many, many years ago, and we never officially, like, were dating. We liked each other and.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And it was kind of in the works to possibly date. And she texted me, like, can I make you dinner and tomorrow night or whatever. I was like, oh, great. Like, maybe we're gonna finally, you know, move into the. To the dating phase. And she came over and informed me that she was in love with her roommate. Oh, my God.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

She was gonna pursue that, so we wouldn't be able to pursue anything here more than friends.

[May Martin]

This is at the beginning of the dinner.

[Fortune Feimster]

Beginning, yes.

[May Martin]

Oh, God.

[Fortune Feimster]

And. And I'm just like, oh, okay. Like, I'm like, again, not that emotionally invested. That is devastating. But I did really like her and wanted to see if there was something there, and so I was bummed. But you're like, okay. And then. And then, you know, we have this awkward conversation, and. And then she's like, well, I can go, or I can. I can actually make you dinner. And I was like, you know, I wanted to be like, no, get out of here. But I was like, well, what. What did you bring?

[May Martin]

And she did butter.

[Fortune Feimster]

She was like, like, shrimp tacos. And they're like, ah, I love shrimp tacos.

[Tig Notaro]

Now we're talking.

[Fortune Feimster]

So she said she went in and made dinner, and I just got. I just gotten dumped. And I was just like, I'm gonna eat these shrimp tacos.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I would do the same thing.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because those are the only tacos I'm eating tonight. Am I right? Hey.

[May Martin]

Girl. Marie, Are you humming Tick. Did you just start humming a little song to soothe yourself?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm sorry, I had to.

[Tig Notaro]

No, you didn't.

[May Martin]

I was obsessed with the response being to start humming a little song. It's like, take. Just had to dissociate because that was.

[Fortune Feimster]

Those are the only tacos I was eating. Heard you the first tonight. Maybe it was my delivery because. Because it was the. Those were the only tacos.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, this lesbian was born. Peanut butter pitch.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cork it. But that's how much I love food. I'm just like, sure, you can dump me. And yes, I will eat those tacos.

[May Martin]

Yeah, totally.

[Tig Notaro]

That's funny.

[Fortune Feimster]

Anywho, well, I have a.

[May Martin]

My roommate was. Was broken up with on the first day of A vacation to a romantic vacation together, like, and they had to still vacation. Why would I do that?

[Thomas Willette]

Why even go?

[May Martin]

That was his main thing. He was like, okay, but what the hell? Like, yeah, they'd saved up for this trip. It's like, just wait till the end. But yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not go.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

They make shrimp tacos.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because those are the only tacos you're eating that night. But hold on. Wait, hold on.

[May Martin]

The humming is so funny to me. Fortune. What?

[Fortune Feimster]

Hold on, hold on. Because those are the only. Hold on. Oh, boy. The only tacos I was eating that night.

[May Martin]

Oh, God. Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you like that?

[May Martin]

Yeah, I like that a lot.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you. Should we hear.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah, let's hear Brecken's answer.

Yes.

[Brecken Meyer]

I forgot to answer my own question. So my answer is I would just not look at them until I'm okay looking at them. But I want to keep the memories. I used to be the men in black guy who wishes everyone I was ever with was on deserted island. They would slowly sink into the sea. But now I'm mature and wear sweaters.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, look at that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Mature and wearing sweater.

[Tig Notaro]

Throw on a sweater and just move on.

[Thomas Willette]

That's right.

[May Martin]

He was wearing a. Yeah.

Fetching.

Kind of similar to your cardigan there, Tick.

[Thomas Willette]

I know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Look at that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Over there.

[Tig Notaro]

Do I strike you as a snuggly person?

[May Martin]

That's a great question.

[Tig Notaro]

Thank you.

[May Martin]

I think that with your immediate family, probably, but I don't. I mean, definitely. We know you don't love us.

A snuggle from a stranger.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love. I love snuggles.

[May Martin]

Oh, me too, man.

[Fortune Feimster]

I am.

[Tig Notaro]

Maybe I'm a.

[Thomas Willette]

Not only am I a peanut butter, you're a snuggle.

[Tig Notaro]

You're a little snuggle worm.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm a snuggle worm. Snuggle. I love the cuddles. I love the touch. I love the. All that.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, is this your dating. Is this your online dating profile?

[Fortune Feimster]

I love. I love a butt. I love a butt what grab And.

[Thomas Willette]

A snuggle and a butt rub.

[May Martin]

How'd we get into butt grabs?

[Fortune Feimster]

I do like a butt grab.

[May Martin]

Is that. Does that count as snuggling?

[Tig Notaro]

Not my butt snuggle.

[May Martin]

My butt.

[Tig Notaro]

All right, let's wrap this up.

[May Martin]

I will let. You're on fire today, fortune. There's like, 10 new. 10 new catchphrases.

[Tig Notaro]

I love when you did the. The drum roll or whatever it is before you did the joke.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, boy.

[Fortune Feimster]

I did it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. All right, let's. Let's wrap this up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Let's. Let's get out of this episode, please.

[May Martin]

I am going on tour at the end of February. Please get some tickets and come see me. I'm doing 35 cities and I'm really excited and nervous and I gotta. I'm gonna write that show real soon and it's gonna be really fun to see everybody. And also check out Wayward on Netflix, please.

[Fortune Feimster]

What are you guys up to on November 22nd? I'm in San Jose, California and the next night in Fresno. Then Thanksgiving weekend, Charlotte, North Carolina, St.

[Thomas Willette]

Petersburg, Florida and Orlando, Florida in December, Norfolk, Virginia, December 27th, Salt Lake City.

[Fortune Feimster]

December 29th, Vancouver, the 30th, and then.

[Thomas Willette]

New Year's Eve in Seattle, Washington, baby.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, and I'm gonna be at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles November 19th and Largo in Los Angeles November 21st. I think I'll be adding some Toronto club dates here or there. Check out tignotaro.com also make sure to watch the Andrea Gibson documentary Come See Me in the Good Light on Apple tv. It's so beautiful. I produced that and it's one of the things I'm most proud of. I'm absolutely most proud of in my career as well as this podcast.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Remember to subscribe to the pod.

Share it with your pals.

[Tig Notaro]

Rate review. Also, subscribe to our YouTube channel. Share an episode with your friends.

[May Martin]

Today would be a good one to watch on YouTube, I think.

[Tig Notaro]

Why?

[Fortune Feimster]

Because of this?

[May Martin]

Yeah, because of that. Because of Thomas writing you up on a little post it note.

[Tig Notaro]

Get our [e-mail] and until next time.

[Fortune Feimster]

Peanut butter.

[May Martin]

Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] and please follow us on social media at.

Handsome.

Handsome Pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a pod.

[May Martin]

What a podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

That was a headgum podcast.

[Thomas Willette]

You know what's smart? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking for little treats while you wait to check out at the grocery store. Everyone deserves a sweet little treat as a reward for all the healthy stuff you picked up for the week.

[May Martin]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

[Lamorne Morris]

What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris and Hannah Simone and We host the Mess Around a New Girl Rewatch podcast now on Headgum. Now here's the thing. Every single week we chat about an episode of of New Girl and we really get into it. Like we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.

[Tig Notaro]

That's not true.

[Fortune Feimster]

We talk about so many memories we.

[May Martin]

Have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

[Lamorne Morris]

We just two BFFs having a good old time. Okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayne Jr. And your dad. We talked to your dad on this show as well.

[Fortune Feimster]

Make sure you subscribe to the Mess.

[May Martin]

Around wherever you get your podcasts.

[Fortune Feimster]

New episodes drop every single Tuesday.