Handsome – Episode Summary

Podcast: Handsome
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin
Episode: Ed Helms asks about a hill you'd die on
Date: September 9, 2025
Guest: Ed Helms

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, comedians Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin are joined (remotely) by actor and comedian Ed Helms, who poses the central question:
What is a completely mundane, ultimately meaningless hill you would die on?
The hosts then dive into hilarious and surprisingly passionate discussions of their own oddly specific opinions, sharing stories from their awkward adolescence, careers, and daily lives. Along the way, listeners are treated to stories of middle school diary drama, coffee order tribulations, and a poetic celebration of pineapple on pizza.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Catching Up: Wardrobe, Nostalgia, and Adolescence

• Wardrobe Confusion in Canada (02:16–03:13)

  • Tig shares an anecdote about being mistaken for wearing a "Canadian tuxedo" (actually double denim) while dressed in jeans, t-shirt, and flannel. Fortune and Mae correct the misconception, sparking banter on American-Canadian stereotypes.

• Reuniting With Old Friends & Middle School Memories (06:44–13:22)

  • Mae describes inviting friends from grade eight to a cottage. The group nostalgically read from a middle school diary, revealing cringey love triangles, controlling behavior, and recovered drama.
  • Notable Quote:
    • Mae:

      “I’m just, like, trying to establish who likes Will. Does Will like them back? And then I want to let them know, listen, he’s going to camp anyway, so you’re not gonna have him.” (13:14)

• Adolescent Friendship Dynamics

  • Fortune and Tig reminisce about ambiguous queer friendships and early crushes, comparing intense but unspoken affection with later understanding of their identities.
  • Notable Quote:
    • Fortune:

      "There’s a couple friendships I had in high school that were clearly so gay. Yeah, but without any kissing..." (18:56)

Updates and Showbiz News

• Tig’s Work on Starfleet Academy (23:53–26:23)

  • Tig updates on returning to Toronto to film, recording extensive ADR, and feeling fulfilled working with a talented cast including Holly Hunter.
  • Discusses the unique thrill of seeing herself in a high-stress, sci-fi setting.

• Fortune’s Upcoming Will Ferrell Project (27:36–30:28)

  • Fortune shares news about her new gig as Will Ferrell’s caddy in an upcoming project, also featuring Molly Shannon, expressing excitement about performing alongside her comedic idols.
  • Notable Quote:
    • Fortune:

      "To have this full circle moment where I’m, like, with the two of them is nuts..." (28:37)

The Main Question: Mundane Hills to Die On

[Ed Helms’ Video Question] (34:48–36:39)

• Ed’s question:

  “What is a really mundane hill that you will die on? What is something that is basically meaningless, but you have just an incredibly strong opinion about?”

Hosts' Answers and Banter

• Fortune’s Hill: Coffee Order Precision (40:16–47:04)

  • Fortune’s passionate about her iced cortado (espresso on ice with a little oat milk). She recounts battles with snotty baristas, insisting on the right color and taste, tossing bad drinks rather than settling.
  • Notable Quotes:
    • “This is how passionate I am. I’m dying on this hill.” (42:40)
    • “If I take a sip of it and it’s disgusting, I will toss it in the trash can and drive to another coffee shop.” (47:04)

• Tig’s Hill: Restaurant Plate Etiquette (48:41–49:57)

  • Tig insists that servers should always ask before taking her plate, sharing that it's a leftover instinct from her own time working in restaurants.
  • Notable Quote:
    • “I really appreciate if somebody asks before they take my plate… Guess what? I was gonna eat them.” (48:54)

• Mae’s Hills: Uber Seating Logic, Mayonnaise, and Knife-and-Fork Burgers (50:36–52:27)

  • Mae is irked when people get into the Uber and expect scooching instead of entering from the opposite door. She also has strong anti-mayonnaise feelings, finding it “just a lubricant,” and objects to people eating burgers with a knife and fork.
  • Notable Quotes:
    • “Mayonnaise to me has no flavor of its own. It’s just like a lubricant.” (52:00)
    • "No scooching necessary. Let's be civilized." (51:25)

• Tig’s Bonus Hill: Unsolicited Parking Help (52:32–53:18)

  • Annoyed when strangers unsolicitedly guide her while backing out of parking spots.
  • Quote:
    • “Who are you? Get the hell out from behind my car…” (53:14)

• General Comic Gripes: Standup Etiquette and Unsolicited Advice (53:22–57:19)

  • Mae rails against unsolicited tag suggestions from male comics and standups who blame the audience for not laughing. Tig shares her strategy of analyzing a bombing set in real-time, turning the experience around for the comedy benefit.

[Ed Helms’ Answer] (57:22–59:53)

• Mundane Hill: Pineapple Belongs on Pizza
  • Despite previously joking otherwise in his book Snafu, Ed confesses:

    “Pizza is better with pineapple. Pineapple belongs on pizza... It creates the perfect culinary manifestation of yin and yang, the salty and the sweet, the triangle of the slice and the circle of the pineapple. That is a mundane hill I will die on.” (58:28–59:53)

  • Hosts mostly agree, admiring Ed's poetic defense.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Teenage Nostalgia:

  “This is that perfect example in life where it’s like, get over it now, because you’re gonna eventually get over it.”
  — Tig Notaro (13:22)

• On Particularity:

  “If I take a sip of it and it’s disgusting, I will toss it in the trash can and drive to another coffee shop. Whoa.”
  — Fortune Feimster (47:04)

• On Restaurant Etiquette:

  “It’s not hard to just say, may I take this for you? Are you finished with your meal? Because a lot of times people will just grab the plate when they see, like, three French fries on there. Guess what? I was gonna eat them.”
  — Tig Notaro (48:54)

• On Pineapple Pizza:

  “Pineapple belongs on pizza...salty and the sweet, the triangle of the slice and the circle of the pineapple. That is a mundane hill I will die on.”
  — Ed Helms (58:28–59:53)

Important Timestamps

• Wardrobe and Canadian Tuxedo Banter: 02:16–03:13
• Mae’s Grade 8 Diary Drama: 07:03–13:22
• Middle School Crushes & Friendships: 18:56–22:10
• Show Updates – Starfleet Academy & Will Ferrell Project: 23:53–30:28
• Main Question Introduction (Ed Helms): 34:48–36:39
• Coffee Ritual Rant (Fortune): 40:16–47:04
• Plate Grabbing Irritation (Tig): 48:41–49:57
• Uber Scooch & Mayo Rant (Mae): 50:36–52:27
• Ed Helms' Pineapple Pizza Rhapsody: 57:22–59:53

Tone & Dynamic

The episode, true to the "Handsome" style, is playful, honest, and filled with genuine chemistry among the hosts. There's an oscillation between deeply personal nostalgia and absurd everyday gripes, peppered with quick wit and supportive ribbing.

Listen If…

• You want to laugh about how passionate people get over trivial things
• You're curious what the hosts would fight to the death over—like iced cortados and Uber etiquette
• You’re nostalgic for awkward adolescence or want to know what comedians “die on a hill” for
• You want to hear Ed Helms poetically defend pineapple pizza

End of Summary