Ego Nwodim asks about doing bad things

Summary

Podcast Summary: Handsome Episode – "Ego Nwodim Asks About Doing Bad Things"

Episode Details

• Title: Handsome
• Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
• Guest: Ego Nwodim
• Release Date: December 31, 2024

---

1. Welcoming and Lighthearted Banter

The episode kicks off with the hosts—Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin—greeting each other with enthusiasm and playful comments about their attire. This lighthearted exchange sets a relaxed and humorous tone for the conversation.

• Fortune Feimster [01:14]: "Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pod."
• Tig Notaro [01:21]: "I'm your other host, Tig Notaro."
• Mae Martin [01:24]: "And I finally am your third host, May Martin."

The hosts engage in a friendly debate about their clothing choices, particularly the color green versus gray, leading to amusing anecdotes about fashion mishaps.

• Fortune Feimster [02:01]: "Head to toe."
• Tig Notaro [02:23]: "You gotta hide those guns."

2. Funny Stories and Personal Tidbits

The conversation smoothly transitions into sharing humorous and personal stories. Mae Martin discusses tailoring T-shirts for a better fit, while Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster exchange jokes about hiding physical features and signing autographs in unconventional places.

• Mai Martin [12:14]: "Would do it, like, up here, but I can't sign the boot. That's... it was in my marriage vows."
• Fortune Feimster [12:33]: "Never sign another titty for the rest of my life."

Mae Martin also reveals her recent tattoos, sharing a heartfelt story about honoring her friend with symbols representing his life and legacy.

• Mae Martin [14:05]: "I got tattooed on my chest... I got over your heart face."
• Fortune Feimster [14:54]: "And then I wrote the word 'bear.'"

3. Family and Relationships

The hosts open up about their families, discussing relationships with parents and significant others. Forturing talks about her mother's active involvement and desire to attend their live shows, leading to humorous exchanges about inviting family members on stage.

• Fortune Feimster [07:53]: "Dolly has a very specific accent. I don't think I can do it well, y'all."
• Mae Martin [19:21]: "Can I work in the kitchen?"

4. Addressing the Episode's Question: "Doing Bad Things"

Ego Nwodim's question centers on moments when the hosts engaged in behaviors they knew were detrimental but proceeded regardless. Each host shares candid and relatable stories about personal struggles and self-sabotaging habits.

• Mae Martin [27:04]: "I feel like I'm in a constant state of shame because I feel so aware of all the things that are bad for me..."
• Tig Notaro [36:01]: "I'm always like, how are people into this?"

Mae Martin discusses her challenges with social media, smoking, and attempts to quit through hypnosis, highlighting the internal conflict between knowing what's best and giving in to temptations.

• Mae Martin [29:06]: "I was like, what is. Why do you think you need to say that into a microphone? Like, no one is laughing."

Fortune Feimster shares her battle with overeating and the guilt that follows, especially when ignoring healthier choices despite understanding their importance.

• Fortune Feimster [40:08]: "I will order whatever I want, and then afterwards be like, why can't you make better choices?"

Tig Notaro opens up about her struggles with maintaining a strict diet due to her health conditions but finds herself relapse-ing during social events, leading to immediate physical discomfort and regret.

• Tig Notaro [36:32]: "I'll go out like, I'm just gonna enjoy myself and I'm just gonna eat whatever... immediate pain."

5. Responding to Ego Nwodim's Experience

Ego shares her experience of knowingly indulging in foods that aggravate her sensitive stomach and gluten intolerance, resulting in increased discomfort.

• Ego Wodum [25:18]: "I decided, quite arbitrarily, quite destructively, that I wanted to have a sandwich..."
• Fortune Feimster [50:39]: "Dairy messes up a lot of people."

The hosts empathize with her predicament, sharing similar experiences and offering humorous yet supportive comments to illustrate that such struggles are common and relatable.

• Tig Notaro [51:35]: "That was a fun episode. It was fun question and something I think a lot of people can relate to."

6. Sharing Personal Growth and Coping Mechanisms

The discussion delves into strategies for overcoming bad habits and making healthier choices, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion over self-shaming.

• May Martin [39:42]: "I like a harm reduction model rather than an abstinence model for a lot of things."
• Fortune Feimster [40:12]: "So I wish I were, like, a little bit more disciplined with myself that way."

The hosts talk about the challenges of breaking negative cycles and the role of supportive relationships in fostering positive change.

• Tig Notaro [32:00]: "It is truly like moving a mountain."

7. Closing with New Year's Reflections and Future Plans

As the episode nears its end, the hosts transition to discussing their personal plans for New Year's Eve and upcoming events. They share their approaches to setting resolutions, such as creating vision boards and prioritizing well-being over indulgence.

• Fortune Feimster [52:50]: "We're gonna be making vision boards probably tom next day. That's our beginning of the year routine."
• May Martin [53:09]: "I like a vision board. That's... that's really good."

They also promote their future live shows in Nashville and Austin, encouraging listeners to join them in these events.

• May Martin [54:05]: "We have a live handsome show. And then in Austin on April 12th."

8. Final Thoughts and Farewells

The hosts wrap up the episode with heartfelt thanks to their audience, reflecting on the year's experiences and expressing excitement for future endeavors.

• Fortune Feimster [55:09]: "Have a great New Year's Eve."
• May Martin [55:11]: "Thank you for all the support this year for the Pod. We're heading into next year feeling energized, full of vigor, pumped to do more cool stuff with you too."

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Fortune Feimster [14:05]: "It's like saying whatever you want."
• Tig Notaro [27:04]: "I have two cigarettes a day and I hate them and I know I should."
• Mae Martin [29:06]: "I had hypnotized to try to quit... I haven't seen that blocked thing."
• Fortune Feimster [33:09]: "Well, that long."
• Tig Notaro [36:32]: "I'm just gonna enjoy myself and I'm just gonna eat whatever."

---

Conclusion

In this engaging episode of "Handsome," the hosts navigate through a mix of humor, personal anecdotes, and sincere discussions about making and breaking bad habits. Ego Nwodim's question serves as a catalyst for deep yet relatable conversations, offering listeners both laughter and reflection as they consider their own moments of self-sabotage and growth.

Transcript

[Fortune Feimster]

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[May Martin]

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[Thomas Willette]

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[Thomas Willette]

Finance agreement is due.

[May Martin]

This is a Headgun Podcast Friends on the Handsome Pod Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pod. I'm your host, Fortune Feimster.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm your other host, Tig Notaro.

[May Martin]

And I finally am your third host, May Martin.

[Fortune Feimster]

Woo.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeehaw.

[Fortune Feimster]

Look at us. We're all in green.

[May Martin]

Earthy forest, earthy colors.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm in gray.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, that's gray.

[Tig Notaro]

I wish I was in green because green is my favorite color.

[Fortune Feimster]

Green is a good color.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I think I told the story on here about how I was in a green jacket, green pants, had my green suitcase, and the woman at security, or tsa, was like, is your favorite color green? Yeah, how'd you know? You're dressed in it. Head to toe. Oh, right.

[Fortune Feimster]

Head to toe.

[May Martin]

I really like the. You know, I'm always looking for the perfect tee, the perfect cut, and I really like the length of your sleeve there. Take.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's. Oh, that's too short for me.

[May Martin]

Really? See, I think it's like a James Dean kind of crop. It's good.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, you two can rock those type of sleeves. I need a little bit more coverage.

[Tig Notaro]

You gotta hide those guns.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I don't want to show too much. Give away the milk for free.

[Tig Notaro]

You gotta work for Fortune's milk.

[Fortune Feimster]

I But I also wear a lot of men's T shirts, so those sleeves are often longer.

[May Martin]

I get a lot of T shirts tailored. Like, even if it's. Yeah, yeah. Like even if it's A shitty T shirt or, like, not really worth it. I'll go, I don't think I need.

[Fortune Feimster]

To tailor a tea.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Just take it to, like, a laundromat that does alterations and then what do.

[Fortune Feimster]

They do to it?

[May Martin]

Well, I always get an inch and a half off the bottom, and then I'm getting sometimes the sleeves shortened a little bit too.

[Fortune Feimster]

Really?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow, this is blowing my mind.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have to wear a long tee, otherwise my belly shows.

[May Martin]

A long tea is good.

[Fortune Feimster]

A longer tee.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I just buy a shirt and put it on and head out.

[May Martin]

Head out the door.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if something rips, I go get it tailored.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Do people care about. I've had, like, suits tailored and. But not. Not in general. I'm not out getting things tailored.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just had two blazers tailored because we're handsome.

[May Martin]

If you begin to entertain the thought, do people care? Then our whole careers just crumble like a house of cards.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's like, does anyone care about anything we're saying?

[May Martin]

Yeah. Sometimes I hear my. I'm like, shut up.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. That's why I try to avoid listening to myself, because I. I can't. I can't do it. I cannot do it. I. I'm always like, how. How are people into this?

[May Martin]

Really?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

[May Martin]

That's so funny.

[Tig Notaro]

Podcasting, stand up acting. I mean, I'm. And I'm not, like, really attacking myself because I don't feel like I'm really that hard on myself, but I am a little, like. I think it's just because, you know, I'm used to myself, so it's hard to imagine that somebody wants extra.

[May Martin]

I haven't done stand, or I hadn't done stand up in, like, six months. And then I did a set recently.

[Tig Notaro]

And how'd it go?

[May Martin]

It went pretty well. I mean, I told the bear story, you know, about the bear portal and the painting and. But I really had. I heard myself saying, wouldn't it be funny if the way the moon, like, waxes and wanes, like, the moon gets full and then if, like, our bums did that? Like, if our bum became really round. Yeah, like for the. No, not bum holes. Like, oh, not bum. Like, if the full moon. We had, like, a round bum and then it went anyway. And that was a moment where I had outside of myself. I was like, what is. Why do you think you need to say that into a microphone? Like, no one is laughing. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's the beauty of art. Just to say whatever you want.

[Tig Notaro]

Working out new Stand up.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

I will tell you guys this. I just got off the phone with my mother. How is Ginger Famester?

[May Martin]

How is she?

[Fortune Feimster]

She's good. I'm about to go spend four days with her, so hopefully I have some fun stories for you, because she's a doozy.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

And she said, I saw that the Handsome podcast is go. And I'm like, get to it. What are you asking? Because everything's very drawn out. Well, I saw that the Handsome pod is going to be performing in April at the Ryman, and I go, well, I love the Ramen, but I have never been. I go, then how do you know you love it? I just know I love it, and I've wanted to go there, and I didn't get to go when you did it on your tour last tour. And I think I know Tig and May, they like me. Do you know that? Do you know that for sure they. They like me. And they would want me to come see that show?

[May Martin]

Yes, we would.

[Tig Notaro]

I said, this is an actual conversation.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is. I have it right before.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I wouldn't get a Tig and May like me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know Tig and May they like me. They would.

[May Martin]

They would want me there.

[Tig Notaro]

We, of course, want her to be.

[May Martin]

There a hundred percent.

[Fortune Feimster]

So she's already plotting and planning for this. April.

[Tig Notaro]

She's not gonna come out for Austin.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, that's a. She can drive to Nashville. She likes to drive to these places.

[May Martin]

Would she come on stage?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. Now she's really.

[Tig Notaro]

Now she's tickling triple fast.

[Fortune Feimster]

She will die if she gets to be on stage at the Rhyme. And that actually is pretty fun idea.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Maybe ask one more question.

[May Martin]

That'd be great.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Gosh, maybe when we're in Austin, I could get my aunt to come up on stage or something.

[Fortune Feimster]

We have different family members coming on stage.

[Tig Notaro]

I get my whole family to come on stage in Austin.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, my mom. My mom just had a knee surgery, so her whole thing about having the knee surgery was that she was going to be turning over a new leaf. And once her knee surgery, she goes, you know, I had a surgery recently. I go, you did? Yes. I had my knee surgery, and I'm losing weight, so that means that I can come to more shows. I was like, oh, good for me.

[Tig Notaro]

Now does she listen to Handsome?

[Fortune Feimster]

Is she going to.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, so she's going to hear this. Ginger, Ginger, get yourself out to Nashville.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is going to be expensive for me because I have to pay for her hotel.

[May Martin]

She's staying with me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, good.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Come on, now. Hang out with Ginge.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, so there you go.

[May Martin]

I've never been to so many parts of the States, but in Nashville, are we going to do something like music? Like, it's a big music town, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

If you want.

[May Martin]

Well, I wasn't so much thinking.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, that.

[Tig Notaro]

We should probably invite Dolly. Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Can Dolly come? What? What if Dolly asks us a question?

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hey, handsome.

[May Martin]

That was good fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

Let's hear it again.

[Fortune Feimster]

Dolly has a very specific accent. I don't think I can do it well, y'all. Yeah, I can't do dollies.

[May Martin]

No, you just do it perfectly. Hey, handsome.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hey, handsome. Everything sing songy.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

When I went down to the market she plays her nails.

[May Martin]

That famous song. When I. When I went down to the market.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, that is really a catchy tune. When I went down to the market.

[Fortune Feimster]

Y'all know her foundation gives away, like, millions and millions and millions of dollars worth of books to kids.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, she's unbelievable. She really.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love that woman. I really her.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, I'm sorry. Who said that you would motorboat?

[May Martin]

I would motor. You went in from her?

[Fortune Feimster]

Dolly.

[May Martin]

Her foundation. Charity work.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, you can love people without motorboating them. There are so many people that I love.

[Fortune Feimster]

I didn't do a good job of the grammar in that sentence. I love her and her all the altruistic stuff she does, period.

[Tig Notaro]

I'd also motor voter, no matter where the punctuation went.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I like fortune, but that's how you show your love. Fortune. It's a really specific thing to you. Is your a motorboat?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm a motorboat.

[Tig Notaro]

That's so I'll never know your love.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yo.

[Tig Notaro]

What?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yo, what am I going to. What are you going to smack me around with what you call them garbage tits?

[Tig Notaro]

Dumpster Dumpster tit?

[May Martin]

That's yours.

[Fortune Feimster]

What, you going to hit me with your dumpster tits?

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

If I can find them in the alleyway, you know, they're still there. They're still there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Nobody's motorboat. Nobody's doing it to me. There's too much space here.

[Tig Notaro]

You've never been motorboated?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, I don't think. No, because there's not a lot to work with.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, but like, if. If Jax really wanted to make it happen.

[Fortune Feimster]

If Jax wanted that, I would give it to her in 2.2 seconds.

[Tig Notaro]

So you would like to have a good motorboat?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, if that's what she needs and wants. I will do that for my wife. But she's never gonna ask.

[May Martin]

Okay, we need to. I'm gonna DM Jax and be like, Fortune's too embarrassed to ask you, but.

[Tig Notaro]

I think I have her number. I might just text her directly.

[Fortune Feimster]

Text Jackson. She's gonna say, what are you talking about?

[Tig Notaro]

Can I text her right now?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, but.

[May Martin]

Okay, you know the. You know when you.

[Tig Notaro]

I actually don't know if I have a number.

[May Martin]

But you know when you. You want your partner to do something, but you want them to want to do it, and, like, it's just ruined if you have to ask for it. Like, it has to.

[Fortune Feimster]

I want you to want to be motorboated.

[May Martin]

No, I want you to want to motorboat me.

[Tig Notaro]

I want you.

[Fortune Feimster]

I want you to motorboat. I need you to motorboat.

[May Martin]

I love you.

[Tig Notaro]

To motor boat.

[Fortune Feimster]

God, I do love a motorboat. Sorry, y'all.

[Tig Notaro]

I love Cheap Trick.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's a good band.

[Tig Notaro]

Dream Police. Do you like that song?

[May Martin]

I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've heard of it.

[Tig Notaro]

It's real good.

[May Martin]

Do you think Cheap Trick is a reference to sex work?

[Tig Notaro]

I do.

[May Martin]

Have you guys ever been asked to sign someone's boob?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, many a time.

[May Martin]

Really?

[Tig Notaro]

Have you not?

[Fortune Feimster]

But I have to say, I think I have.

[May Martin]

Yeah. You say no.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Even if it's over the shirt, I.

[Fortune Feimster]

Would do it, like, up here, but I can't sign the boot. That's. It was in my marriage vows.

[May Martin]

Oh. I was like, if anyone asked me to sign their boo checks, I will.

[Fortune Feimster]

Never sign another titty for the rest of my life.

[Tig Notaro]

I will not sign my name within.

[Fortune Feimster]

An inch of a nipple, I swear to thee.

[May Martin]

I met someone after a show who had got a tattoo that said feel good in the font of the show, and it was, like, up on her bum cheek.

[Fortune Feimster]

And did you sign it?

[May Martin]

I did, actually, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Did she ask you to sign it.

[May Martin]

Or you're just like, yeah, she did.

[Tig Notaro]

Give it here.

[Fortune Feimster]

Give me that marker.

[Thomas Willette]

I.

[Fortune Feimster]

Back in the back of my single days, I signed some boobs, but now I'm good for you, girl. Now I'm dead inside.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, are you really not allowed to sign boobs?

[Fortune Feimster]

Out of respect, I don't sign boobs.

[May Martin]

What if Jax was there and the person wanted both of you to sign?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't care if she signed the boob, but she would have to. I would have to make sure it was okay with her. Normally, if someone's like, we saw my boob, I go, how about your back or your shoulder? I just pivot. I don't not sign.

[Tig Notaro]

Mm.

[Fortune Feimster]

We just pivot.

[May Martin]

Speaking of marking up bods, I got a tattoo recently.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, a new one?

[May Martin]

Well, I got it. I got two, actually.

[Tig Notaro]

Like a hot dog or something.

[May Martin]

It was really. Why? Because it's so random. The ones I got, because.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, like, you have some oatmeal.

[May Martin]

I have oatmeal.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is this one we can see or is it in a private part?

[Tig Notaro]

It is on because we're happy to sign it.

[May Martin]

Yeah, no, I. I can show it. I. It was really impulsive. I was just walking by, you know, I had this Godfrey in Greece, in a little rural village in Greece. He died a couple years ago, I.

[Tig Notaro]

Think you told us an early episode.

[May Martin]

Well, I've been trying to think, like, how could I get a tattoo to honor him? Because he was such a larger than life character. And I was thinking he was in the Navy, the Greek Navy, and he was a chef in the Navy. And one time the food was too salty, and one of the sailors angrily got up and stabbed him in the chest with a fork. And so.

[Tig Notaro]

My goodness.

[May Martin]

But as a kid, I used to love hearing this story. It electrified me. And he had a scar on his ch. Chest of fort. From a fork. And so I got tattooed on my chest. Like a.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's pixel. Oh, I see dots.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, wow.

[May Martin]

A fork. It looks like someone stabbed me with a fork. Anyways, and then I got over your heart face. Yeah, over my heart.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, over my heart.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[May Martin]

And then I wrote the word bear.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, here we go. Now we're talking.

[May Martin]

I got the word.

[Fortune Feimster]

God, you're so fit.

[May Martin]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Because of the bear.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, wait, so you got two tattoos?

[May Martin]

Yeah, bear and fork scar.

[Fortune Feimster]

Anyway, good for you.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[May Martin]

They come over you in the morning sometimes. You think, I gotta get one today.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, really? That's. Is that how it works? I've never had a tattoo, so I haven't either.

[May Martin]

Put it on the list, Thomas.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not for me. My body's a temple. Can't you tell?

[May Martin]

What about if Dolly Parton said, I will, I will spend a week hanging out with you and Jack?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, I would get face tattoos.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, no, don't get a face tattoo.

[Tig Notaro]

If Dolly said she would spend a week with you and Jax, yes, I would get face tattoos.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would get a tattoo, but not on my face.

[May Martin]

What if she said, you got to get my signature tattooed on you?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I would have Dolly's signature. Yeah, it has, like, a heart or something on her.

[Tig Notaro]

What if she says, you have to get My face tattooed on your face.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't want a face tattoo.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love Dolly, but that's a lot. I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

[Tig Notaro]

We would have to live with it.

[May Martin]

I know. We got a podcast with you.

[Tig Notaro]

We gotta look at it.

[May Martin]

We gotta look at it, and you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Just see Dolly right here on my cheek.

[May Martin]

I've. We've played before the game I invented called what would you let Jennifer Aniston peer pressure you into doing Right? I think on an early episode.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Do we have another situation?

[May Martin]

Well, face tattoo is a good one. If she said matching, she was like, honey, let's just get two small little tattoos on our faces. Just tiny little ones. And best friends for life, you know, I'm doing it.

[Fortune Feimster]

You think Jen's gonna do that to.

[May Martin]

Her face in the scenario? She is. I mean, Tig, I feel like you're like, well, I'm already friends with her. I don't.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I'm already friends, so I don't. I mean, if she was like, we gotta do this to be friends for life, I would be like, what about all the other stuff you already said I was already in for life.

[May Martin]

What about the 10,000 promises you make?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, you've already made 10,000 promises, Jen. Why do I have to get a tattoo? A matching face tattoo with you? We get teardrops.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know.

[Tig Notaro]

Me and Jen.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love Jen, but I don't want a face tattoo.

[Tig Notaro]

I love her, too, and I won't do it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm not doing it. And, I mean, I'm not even going to consider it until I get invited to her holiday party.

[May Martin]

Oh.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, you didn't get the invite?

[May Martin]

Oh, shut up. Are you serious? You've already been invited out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, you already got the invite?

[May Martin]

Fortune, what are we going to do?

[Fortune Feimster]

Step Be busy that night? Can I be your plus one?

[May Martin]

Yeah, could we be your plus ones?

[Ego Wodum]

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[May Martin]

We promise to be cool. We won't be weird.

[Fortune Feimster]

It will be cool.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, it totally comes across like you would totally be co. Cool.

[May Martin]

I wouldn't bring up the game.

[Tig Notaro]

Let her hear this. I'll let her hear this.

[Fortune Feimster]

Totally cool.

[Tig Notaro]

No, I'll let her hear this episode.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'll see her and be like, let's. I'll do this. What's up?

[May Martin]

That would be good Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

I won't even act, like, too excited to see her. What's up, Jen?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Hey, John. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Or Stephanie can come and ask Jen if you can get a plus plus.

[May Martin]

What about me?

[Fortune Feimster]

I said plus. Well, plus plus.

[Tig Notaro]

What about me?

[Fortune Feimster]

Plus plus plus.

[May Martin]

Maybe Fortune can be your plus one.

[Tig Notaro]

Guys, I don't think you're gonna be at Jen's party.

[May Martin]

No, I just don't.

[Tig Notaro]

I just don't. It's not looking promising.

[May Martin]

Well, can I work in the kitchen?

[Tig Notaro]

I.

[Fortune Feimster]

Can I drive you to there?

[Tig Notaro]

I have a good idea. Here's how you could get in the horse costume.

[May Martin]

Oh, the horse.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Trojan horse.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Party.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

That is the only way.

[Fortune Feimster]

Here's what. Here's our plan.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm gonna drive you and Stefan. Tiffany.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then we pull up to her house.

[May Martin]

Again, I'm not seeing me in this equation.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thanks for coming. We'll text you.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, but there's a whole security gate situation.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm like, I'm there. I'm going up through there. And then when I'm up there, I'm like, oh, I have to. Oh, I gotta pee. And they're like. And then I. And then I go, jen, what?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. What?

[Fortune Feimster]

So good to see you again.

[Tig Notaro]

And then the security starts dragging you off the property.

[May Martin]

She goes, honey, I must have invited you.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't remember.

[May Martin]

Okay, what about.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then I'm there.

[May Martin]

I. We. I dress up as either Max or Finn and we pass me off as one of your children.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, you'd be Finn.

[May Martin]

I'd be Finn.

[Fortune Feimster]

Max. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I bring my sons Max.

[Fortune Feimster]

So.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

Having you both in car seats in the back.

[May Martin]

Well, me and Fortune are gonna have our own holiday party.

[Fortune Feimster]

And, yeah, we're gonna.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Watch Jen Anderson's movies.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Yeah. But she's not invited to the party. But we're gonna watch all.

[Fortune Feimster]

She's not invited.

[Tig Notaro]

She is gonna be so upset, you guys.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, anyway, so frustrating thinking that maybe we got invites this year because she was on the Handsome podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

I know.

[May Martin]

If only that was how it worked, then we'd be invited to Tom hanks's party.

[Fortune Feimster]

Liz McCarthy, I heard, throws a good party and around the holidays.

[May Martin]

Oh, man. Where's our invites?

[Fortune Feimster]

I got invited to Arnold's house.

[May Martin]

Okay. Well, I feel like it's. Now it's gonna get out there that we're just desperate and.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm not desperate. I don't want to go.

[May Martin]

Yeah. I don't actually want to go.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm busy.

[May Martin]

I'm super.

[Tig Notaro]

Who cares?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm gonna be in Toronto anyway.

[May Martin]

I got a lot of boobs.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're gonn.

[Tig Notaro]

I got a lot of boobs to motorboat.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are you gonna for real miss the party because you're in Toronto?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know yet.

[May Martin]

I'm missing Zoe Deschanel's party. Not to brag, but I'm gonna be in Toronto. I'm really sad about that.

[Tig Notaro]

I was invited to that one too.

[Fortune Feimster]

I wasn't.

[Tig Notaro]

You're gonna be in Toronto then too?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

I eat my scone.

[May Martin]

I'm going for, like, five days or something in December, so.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. What are you doing?

[May Martin]

You're doing a charity? Actually, yeah. A charity music show in honor of my friend who passed away who was an amazing musician. And it raises money for this very cool charity that helps people with mental illness produce their music and people with addiction and stuff. It, like, gets their music. Gets their music made, get them in the studio. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cool.

[May Martin]

So I'm doing that and going into the edit to watch some of the cuts I've been editing remotely.

[Fortune Feimster]

Mm.

[May Martin]

Like online with the editor in Toronto for Wayward. And I'm gonna go in in person and watch my face twitch on a big screen now.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, it's called Wayward. Why did I think it was called something else?

[May Martin]

It was called Tall Pines, and then everybody thought that was too much like Twin Peaks, and so we called Wayward, because the show's about wayward youth, you.

[Tig Notaro]

Know, because I was gonna suggest the Facts of Life.

[May Martin]

Oh, that's. Hang on a second. Let me text.

[Fortune Feimster]

Good Times.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Good Times would be a good one.

[May Martin]

What about Happy Days or the Nanny? Is it in my imagination, or were you really into the Fonz for a while?

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, I loved Happy Days, but Sarah Silverman kind of refers to me as the Fonz. And then Kate Micucci's parents call me the Tig.

[Fortune Feimster]

Love Micucci.

[May Martin]

The Tig?

[Tig Notaro]

The Tig.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I like, kind of like the Fawns. They said, yeah, it would be good.

[May Martin]

If my parents had A nickname for you guys. And if you had some. A relationship with them.

[Tig Notaro]

I know, yeah. When can that happen? I would like to have a nickname from both of your parents.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I'll get on that.

[Fortune Feimster]

My dad would be like, what you want to. What for?

[Tig Notaro]

What is he gonna come out to the Ryman?

[Fortune Feimster]

He definitely will not.

[Tig Notaro]

Why?

[Fortune Feimster]

He didn't listen to anything, any of this stuff. Radio show. But, I mean, I don't even think you've seen my specials. I don't think he has Netflix.

[May Martin]

Really.

[Fortune Feimster]

Or maybe he watched at my mom's house. I'm not sure.

[Tig Notaro]

But even though he doesn't follow the show, can he just come out and visit us? I mean, we're his friends.

[Fortune Feimster]

To travel.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, man, he's really making this difficult.

[Fortune Feimster]

Very simple guy.

[May Martin]

We're gonna have to go to him. Tig.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm about to go buy him a pair of sketcher tennis shoes this afternoon.

[May Martin]

That's so nice.

[Tig Notaro]

He likes Skechers.

[Fortune Feimster]

He wants to try those slip ons that are like lightweight tennis so you don't have to, like, worry about all.

[Tig Notaro]

The hubbub of dragging those heavy shoes around. Should we hear from our questioner?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes, please. Today's questioner is an actress and comedian who's been a cast member of Saturday night Live since 2018. She's also appeared in films like Players Genie and Good Burger 2. Ego Wodom is asking today's question.

[Tig Notaro]

Nice.

[Ego Wodum]

Hello, handsome. My name is Dago Wodom. You might recognize me from Saturday Night Live, among other things. But here's my question for you. When's the last time you did something you knew was not good for you, but you did it anyway? And what was the thing?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, ego is so funny. Her. Have you seen her Dion Warwick impression?

[Tig Notaro]

No, but I would love to.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's so good.

[Tig Notaro]

I love Dion Warwick.

[Fortune Feimster]

And they've had Dion Warwick on the show where Ego's interviewing. Ego's dressed up as Dion interviewing.

[Tig Notaro]

Amazing.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, she's so funny. I met her at that. I went to this charity event, Big Slick in Kansas City, and she was there. And she's just so, like, effortlessly funny and talented, and it's such a staple on that show.

[May Martin]

She's got just an aura, like she's got the X Factor for sure.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, she's really close with our old assistant.

[May Martin]

Oh, really?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. So I would hear about her, I think, even before she got on snl.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

It's a really good question as well. I feel like in a. Oh, I was about to get really well Here we go. I feel in a constant state of shame because I feel so aware of all the things that are bad for me, especially like just on social media. Like, it's like we know what would make us happy and good. It's like eat balanced whole foods, get good sleep, drink water, meditate. And it's just hard to do all those things, you know, I know I'm on my phone too much. You know, I had a tough summer. I was smoking cigarettes. Like, I just know these things. But then the shame spiral is useless as well, because then I'm like, well, you know, what's the point of anything? So it's like thing by thing. And then like the other day on Instagram, I saw advertise this thing called like a grounding sheet. That's like a bottom sheet that you put on your bed. Have you heard of this, Tig?

[Tig Notaro]

I have one.

[May Martin]

I ordered one.

[Fortune Feimster]

So I don't know what this is.

[May Martin]

It's like, apparently we're all charged with static electricity all the time. And because of all the electronics around us and all the shit we do. And so this sheet is the same as like walking in bare feet on the earth and it, I don't know, like grounds your ions or something. You plug it in and. But then, So I bought it and now I guess I'm less electricity. But I was like, I was like, I wish I never knew that I'd been walking around lousy with electricity all this time. Like it's endless the things that we are having to do to be healthy. And it's a full time job and I feel guilty for not meditating and all that to get all that off my chest. Anyways, do you like, do you find your. Because they showed a video of like a scan they did that showed all the electricity in someone's body. And then after on the grounding sheet, they're like neutralized. Do you feel better, Tig?

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, I haven't really noticed anything. The first time I used it, I did have a really good night's sleep, which is unusual for me. And then I didn't notice anything after that, but I just like, eh, I'll just keep at it just in case it's doing something that might be helpful. Same.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I've not heard of this. So.

[May Martin]

So I guess my short answer to that question is like daily, always everything. Yeah, just on my phone before bed. I'm smoking at the moment, like two cigarettes a day and I hate them and I know I should. And. Yeah, and I got hypnotized to try to quit. And I went to see this hypnotist and she was like, I'm gonna put in your brain a trigger where when you think a bad thing about yourself, you see blocked and you don't want to smoke and I don't know. I haven't seen that blocked thing.

[Fortune Feimster]

It hasn't come up.

[May Martin]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

Have you ever been hypnotized before?

[May Martin]

No. It was pretty cool. I want to go back. I was lucid. I was in a deep state of relaxation, for sure. On the cusp of being asleep. And then she was kind of walking me through visualizations. Have you done it?

[Tig Notaro]

I haven't. I think it's interesting. I don't trust that I would be able to be.

[May Martin]

To let go, to give over to it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I just don't. I can't picture myself in that state. I could just picture myself relaxed.

[Fortune Feimster]

Feels like it would require a lot of concentration.

[May Martin]

This is kind of an extension of what I was saying. Like, I. I'm just beating myself up through the whole hypnotism being like, I don't think I'm doing it right. I don't think I'm relaxed enough. I think I'm still. You know what I mean?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

But I think you guys could. Could do it. It was like she kind of overwhelmed me with a bunch of rapid fire questions. And then really fast she goes, okay, now look at the ceiling. Pick a spot. And then she's counting back from 10. And she said that overwhelming was part of it. She like, overloads your brain. So then when you get a break, your brain's like, yeah, interesting.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know one of yours, May, but we can cut it if you don't want me to share it. What I can tell you and then you can decide. Well, May was going through something and read us a long text. And Ting and I both go, don't send that.

[May Martin]

Oh, man.

[Fortune Feimster]

You said like an abbreviated version of it, but not that abbreviated.

[May Martin]

Here's the thing. I'm a texter, but also I'm like, I don't want to play games. Like, I want to say how I feel, but, you know, and sometimes I know, like, the way to get through to this person is to be like, hey, cool, yeah, whatever. I'm like, no, I'm. I'm sad. I gotta say how I feel. I don't want to play games. But yeah, you guys were all like, don't send that.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're like, don't send me. Put the phone down. Walk away.

[May Martin]

And I was like, yeah, of course, of course. And then two minutes later, you were like, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then I was like, still, like, that long.

[May Martin]

I was like, no, I really shortened you guys. And also, sometimes my friends are like, just be firm. And I'm like, yeah, I'm going to be pretty strong worded here. And then I'm like, you know, really? If you'd like.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay with you.

[Tig Notaro]

If it's okay with.

[May Martin]

It would be really nice to connect.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm free anytime.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I get it because we've all been in those situations where, like, somebody's ruling you. Yeah. And you're just like, you know that you shouldn't, like, overdo the thing. Just be like, yeah, great. But you're so in it that you can't.

[May Martin]

I like.

[Fortune Feimster]

You just want to, like, word vomit.

[May Martin]

What you said, that was good fortune was. Or maybe it was you, Tig. Someone said, you can't say the. You can't say the wrong thing to the right person. I liked that.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was me. I'm so smart.

[May Martin]

It was really smart. It's like, you shouldn't be.

[Tig Notaro]

Let me write that down.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Hold on one second.

[Fortune Feimster]

Along with live, laugh, love.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Wait, it's still. You can't say.

[Fortune Feimster]

But, yeah, we've. It's just so interesting how other people can see, like, oh, they shouldn't do this.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, don't talk to that person.

[Fortune Feimster]

The path is. Is so clear because all of us have been there.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And when you're not, like, emotionally involved in that thing, you go, yeah, this is so clear what this person should do. But, man, when you're in.

[Tig Notaro]

It is impossible.

[Fortune Feimster]

Impossible.

[Tig Notaro]

It is truly like moving a mountain.

[May Martin]

I mean, same with just, like, healthy habits with my friends. I'm like, if you could let me inhabit your brain and I would just make some choices, I'd fix up your life. Just give me a couple days. And I know that my friends could also do that with me, but it's just hard to take your own advice.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, we're also creatures of habit.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, listen, the amount of times I've told myself, like, don't eat that cheeseburger. Go for the salad. You know, I mean, that is my. That's my internal dialogue that's constantly battling.

[May Martin]

Yeah. And then how do you. And then, like, the shame spirals, and it's like. And then that's not helpful. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you feel like it's more of a struggle for you, like, to say to be like, don't eat that cheeseburger or. Or, like, don't call that girl. You know, like, what.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right.

[Tig Notaro]

What struggle would you say would be harder?

[Fortune Feimster]

That would have. It would depend on the time of my life. Prejax. I. I definitely spiraled over some people where in hindsight now I go, oh, my God, what was I thinking?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know where you're just like, jesus, that was wild.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Like, you're a whole other person.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. When you come out of it, you're like, I'm sorry. That. And not to, like, be rude to, you know, nameless, faceless people, but, I mean, it is crazy when you reach the other side and you're like, yes. How did you have a hold on me?

[May Martin]

There are definitely people in my past, like, from my 20s, who I was like, I will never love again. And then. Yeah. Looking back, I'm like, this.

[Fortune Feimster]

Was it the one that got away?

[Tig Notaro]

It's also funny to think about how everybody is also somebody that you've been somebody that somebody wanted or wanted to be back together with. And it's funny to think that they're looking at you going, I can't believe.

[May Martin]

I was so hung up on that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. That I was hung up on Tig or May or Fortune. Like, we're just like these hilarious afterthoughts.

[May Martin]

Like, so much of that is ego. Like, so much of trying to convince someone to. To love you or to. Is. Is ego and, like, wounded self worth. And like, if you actually can release your ego and. And be like, yeah, if you, you know, if you'll be happier without this guy, be my guest. No, but in a genuine way, like, yeah, I'm trying to.

[Tig Notaro]

I know. I've seen. I've seen a few people in my life go through just horrible heartache and do it with such grace. Yeah. Like.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Where I'm. I'm truly blown away.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And. And. And of course, they're suffering privately and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right.

[Tig Notaro]

Whatever. But the way that they dealt with the. The breakup and is so.

[May Martin]

I'm friends with a lot of my exes, and I think I. I do like the approach of, like, well, if you. If you do really love this person, then if you're able to put your ego aside, then you can. You still just. You want them to be happy and. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so take. What do you do that is bad for you that you still do?

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, I. This is such a boring topic, and I apologize, but I think that my insights really were wrecked when I Got really sick in 2012. And there are certain foods that are so painful for me to eat. And I mean painful like a certain.

[May Martin]

Like gluten and stuff or.

[Tig Notaro]

And certain fried. Like sometimes when I have fried food and yeah, probably some gluten, but I'll be on the straight and narrow for a long time. And then I'll go out like, I went to the morning show wrap party and just. I'll. I'll go to things and I'll just be like, I'm just gonna enjoy myself and I'm just gonna eat whatever. And then sure enough, you know, I'm standing there and I turn to Stephanie, I'm like, I am in. So. Oh, it's like immediate pain.

[May Martin]

Oh, man.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Isn't that always the way? It's like when you feel your best, you're like. You feel invincible. So you're like, yeah, I can do this. And then.

[Tig Notaro]

Or I just see other people just like, yeah. And like, yeah. And my weakness is like chips and salsa and chips and wok and all that stuff. And so I'm just looking around, everyone's eating it and I'm. And I'm going for it. But half. Half the time, it's so crazy, I forget. I will completely forget that these foods cause me severe pain, right? And I'll. I'll turn to Stephanie and she's like, I was watching you thinking this is. Here we go. And I'm like, I truly forgot. I was just like in the moment. Just like mindlessly having these chips. And then. And it's not immediate, like one second later, but it, you know, like. Like I'm hanging out an hour later, as the night goes on, I'm like, oh, gosh, the acid is burning a hole through me.

[May Martin]

Oh, it's so hard when. For. As a partner too. When you see your partner doing something, you don't want to be the naggy. Like, you're like, they're a grown up. Let them make their choices. Because you don't want to be like, yeah, should you be eating that?

[Tig Notaro]

But I do. No, I do appreciate it when Stephanie leans over and is like, just remember, you know, I'll be like. Because half the time I snaps you out of it unconscious. And I'm just not thinking about it. And I. And then other times I am aware and I. And I will still just be like, whatever. I'm just gonna do what everyone else is doing. And I'm. And then. So.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Will she say occasionally, hey, just.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah, definitely. When we were at the morning show, I. There were. We were at the. We were standing at a bar, and there were, like, two or three people between us when I started going at the chips. And so she said she saw me, but she just continued her conversation.

[Fortune Feimster]

I couldn't reach you.

[Tig Notaro]

But, yeah, those moments pop up for me where I'm like, I know I'm gonna be in some pain.

[May Martin]

Yeah. I think I like a harm reduction model rather than an abstinence model for a lot of things. Things. Because I feel like it's. For me, it's the shame spiral that really. Like. Like, if someone's like, if you have another cigarette, I'm not gonna date you, then I don't know. Then I'm gonna be hiding it. I'm gonna feel.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I remember being at a. Yeah. Like a dinner party with Parv and having a cigarette, and she hates smoking, but she was so chill about it, and I was like, that's. See, that makes me. Yeah. Not want to smoke instead of wanting to rebel.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I mean, mine's always, like, food based. Like, I will order whatever I want, and then afterwards be like, why can't you make better choices?

[May Martin]

Right?

[Fortune Feimster]

And I know, like, it's not the good choice, but I just, like, don't care.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

So I wish I were, like, a little bit more disciplined with myself that way. But even, like, life things, like, I'll kind of know that, like. All right, you're, like, very tired today, and you didn't get enough sleep, so maybe don't call your mom today and then. Or, like, answer the phone and then she'll. You know. Because moms know how to push the buttons.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, right.

[May Martin]

Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

So I know I'm. It's probably not the best time to, like, talk. And I answer anyway.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm like, why did I. Now we're fussing at each other. Why did I do that? You know? Like, I could have just texted, hey, let me call you tomorrow.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But, yeah, we all just kind of get in these habits.

[May Martin]

And. How are you guys with your phones? Like, are you before bed playing Best Fiends?

[Fortune Feimster]

I was really bad about it for a while where I was, like, just mindlessly scrolling.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because I find when I'm, like, crazy busy and, like, my mind's racing and. Yeah. My days have been, like, packed to the minute for the last month. And so when I would have that, like, into the night, I'm finally lay on the couch, all I do is just mindlessly scroll because I don't want to think about anything. But I'm like, so not present for Jax and my home life. That. And I was doing it right before bed. So we've been trying the last, like, two weeks to go to bed a lot earlier. And I'm trying not to, when I go to my bed, not to be on my phone.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Be reading or something or.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Or making it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Boy, is it hard. Because best friends looking at dumb. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Phones.

[Tig Notaro]

What are you looking at when you say you're scrolling? Are you looking at pages?

[May Martin]

Oh, oh, oh, your Tick Tock. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Instagram is weirdly addicting. And I was, like, late to the Tick Tock game and kind of was like, what is this? And then in the last year, I started being more active on it, and it does have this way of sucking you in where you just, like, you just scroll up and it's video after video after video. But the algorithm is so sophisticated that it knows, like, it just starts taking you. You watch one thing, it's like, oh, we're gonna give you eight more of the. Of these kinds of things.

[May Martin]

I know. And then you know exactly what you want. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And so what is it that you're liking that you're watching? Is it, like, comedic?

[Fortune Feimster]

It is the crazy. It's the craziest stuff. I would never think to want to watch or be interested in. But, like, suddenly I'm watching people eat a triple dipper from Chili's. Half of Tick Tock. It's people eating food and it's all over their face. Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

I should start a Tick Tock account where I eat food and then I'm in pain.

[May Martin]

Yes. People would. Plan related, guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's hugely popular.

[May Martin]

I went to. That just reminded me that I went to Denny's for the first time in my life.

[Fortune Feimster]

What do you think?

[May Martin]

I kind of. I love.

[Tig Notaro]

Were you in pain?

[May Martin]

Yeah, I was in a huge amount of pain after, but I had a.

[Tig Notaro]

I call that a Denny's gasket. You blew a Denny's gasket?

[May Martin]

I truly did.

[Fortune Feimster]

Moves over my hammy.

[May Martin]

Oh, man. It was. It was great, though. I Googled it. Started in 1953. Denny's in California.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sometimes you just want breakfast for dinner.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's the kind of place that you would get that at. I think I would probably go to IHOP over Denny's.

[May Martin]

Wait, no. Because I've been to IHOP and hated it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Really? You hated it?

[May Martin]

I'm shocked. Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

So you like Denny's better?

[May Martin]

The atmosphere is way better.

[Fortune Feimster]

Truth be told, I haven't been to a Denny's in maybe 20 years.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

So maybe I just am not remembering.

[Tig Notaro]

I have no idea when I was last in a Denny's. The last time I was in an IHOP was, I think, the last time I saw my father before he was dying. He had come to the city and surprised me where I was doing standup. And I remember I got off stage and I was walking to the green room, and I saw this guy leaning up against the wall, and I was like, God, it looks like my father.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Boom.

[Tig Notaro]

It was. Wow, that's amazing. Yeah. And then the next morning, he had gotten a hotel, and he took me to IHOP in the morning.

[May Martin]

That is so sweet when you actually break that down and you think about the stages of planning and the decision that he made to surprise you, and that's very sweet. I like that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

My dad would never do that.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, there's a lot my father did not do in decades that I didn't see him. Yeah. Least he could do. I remember it was so embarrassing because I was sitting with. I was doing a club. This was so long ago. I was doing, like. It was like Christmas, you know, when they have Christmas parties at clubs.

[May Martin]

And.

[Tig Notaro]

And so both shows, early and late show, were sold out. And my father was, like, so impressed. And I was like, no, no, no. I was like, nobody. They didn't buy tickets to see me. This is, like holiday parties.

[May Martin]

Right?

[Tig Notaro]

He. I could not convince him. He thought, like, I was the biggest star in the world. And it was so embarrassing because somebody came up and interrupted us while we were sitting, you know, at a little table talking, and asked me to sign my autograph on a glass they had bought at the bar at the club.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And I was. I was so embarrassed signing because I was just telling him that I'm not a big deal, you know, and then now I'm being asked to sign my autograph. And it was also so odd to sign his last name in front of him.

[May Martin]

That's so weird.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. Because I wasn't. I was. You know, he just was kind of in and out of my life. And so it was so weird trying to explain I'm not a big deal and then signing an autograph with his last name on it.

[May Martin]

Yeah. But as a parent, you would love that, I think.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

Weirdly, the only person who surprised me at a show like that is my godfather, who I mentioned, who I had never seen out of the context of this tiny rural Greek village in Corfu one night in London. I. Look, it was so weird seeing him out of context. And he's sort of. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And.

[May Martin]

And he acted like. Yeah. Yeah, man.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I was like, what, Philip? And he was like, yeah. You know, somehow. Really? You know, I thought, you know, I'd come, you know, see you. Do, you know comedy? That's how he.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just got off the boat.

[May Martin]

Yeah. He just.

[Fortune Feimster]

I got a fork sticking out of my chest.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

He could catch flies in his hand. He could roll a cigarette with one hand. He was very cool.

[Fortune Feimster]

Dang. Yeah, that is cool.

[Tig Notaro]

My father carried a pistol in his cowboy boot.

[May Martin]

Are you serious?

[Tig Notaro]

I am very serious.

[May Martin]

Into, like, knives.

[Tig Notaro]

He'd have a knife. Oh, in his cowboy, Dude.

[Fortune Feimster]

With a random knife.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Just on their belt or something as well.

[Tig Notaro]

He also had, like a. A. A chest holster.

[May Martin]

Jesus.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And was he. Were they loaded?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know. I mean, wow. My father was a real interesting character.

[Fortune Feimster]

How old were you when they split?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I was six months old.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, okay. So you never lived?

[Tig Notaro]

No, he would just. No, he would just pop up and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Pop out and he sounded like Crocodile Dundee of Mississippi.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, well, he claimed to be part of the Mississippi Mafia.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, you know, honestly, he probably was.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I didn't know there was a Mississippi Mafia. But he was Italian, right?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, listen, Italians love mafias. Yeah, there was. There's the Dixie Mafia, The Mississippi Mafia. Like, I. Anyway, we sat at ihop and he told me about his days there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, really?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Hilarious.

[Fortune Feimster]

Was that the last time you saw.

[Tig Notaro]

Him when he was. Yeah, healthy. And then I went, like, right before he died, I saw him.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But, yeah, he was.

[May Martin]

He was in the Mississippi Mafia.

[Fortune Feimster]

Interesting.

[Tig Notaro]

And I went IHOP with him. Anyway, that was the last time I was at IHOP with my. And my father was like, this is my treatment. And I was like, oh, even though.

[Fortune Feimster]

You'Re so fancy signing autographs over there?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Well, should we hear Eggo's answer? I forget what the question was, but. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

What are you doing things that are maybe not good for you?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, guilty as charged.

[Ego Wodum]

My answer is that I, notorious for having stomach aches and a sensitive stomach yesterday, decided I wanted to make my stomach hurt more than it already did when I woke up. Stomach kind of hurt in the morning. And I decided, quite arbitrarily, quite destructively, that I wanted to have a sandwich. I'm rarely ever craving a sandwich. That's a whole other story and another topic for another day, but I decided to go get a sandwich from a sandwich spot in the West Village. It was called the capone, it had soppressada on it. Salami.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodum]

Another pork item. I don't know if that's not necessarily the problem here. Maybe. But then I had. It had provolone and mozzarella. I'd asked for no alterations to this sandwich. Yeah, provolone and mozzarella. I'm kind of lactose intolerant. In fact, I am lactose intolerant and I'm in denial about it. And I know that it makes my stomach hurt when I have a lot of dairy. So I had not only one type of cheese, I had two types of cheese. And I saw the guy slicing the cheese and I saw him put extra on it and I wasn't like, oh, no, that's enough. I was kind of like, let's, let's be destructive. And then I got it on Shabbat. I had all kinds of bread options. Didn't even ask for a gluten. A gluten free bread, even though I have a gluten sensitivity, which is really tragic to me. Didn't even ask for. That was like, I'm going to. I want ciabatta. Thank you very much. And of course, today my stomach hurts more than it did yesterday, but I can't be mad at anyone because I did it to myself. But can you please share your tales of something similar so that I don't feel so alone in my destructive ways? Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Bye.

[Ego Wodum]

Bye, handsome.

[Tig Notaro]

I, a man right on the nose. Yeah, me and you, kid.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Dairy messes up a lot of people.

[Tig Notaro]

Mine wasn't dairy, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Dairy and gluten can really tear up some stomachs and some buttholes.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And lives in general. It'll just destroy people's lives.

[May Martin]

Is that new, though? Like how, like that sucks.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think it's the stuff that's the.

[May Martin]

Stuff that's in it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Because a lot of people that have like dairy or gluten stuff here can go to Italy and. Oh, and then they're totally fine.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Eating, eating. People that can't eat the bread here just like wolf it down over there.

[May Martin]

I just break out if I eat a lot of dairy and. And gluten. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, anyway, I'd love to see that.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just pushed through.

[May Martin]

Well, that sandwich did sound good though, you know, and when sometimes that little dopamine rush when you take the first bite, maybe it's worth it.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I'm actually not too far from the West Village right now. Oh, somebody might be getting some stomach.

[Tig Notaro]

Ach. Hello. Well, that was a Fun episode. It was fun question and something I think a lot of people can relate to.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, you guys know what today is, right?

[Tig Notaro]

Is it your birthday?

[Fortune Feimster]

No. Although it's close to my half birthday.

[May Martin]

We don't do we do half birthdays on this pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

We should. Why not? Tomorrow my happy birthday. It's New Year's Eve, guys.

[May Martin]

Oh, my Lord.

[Fortune Feimster]

So I know everybody's gonna.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm gonna get wild tonight.

[May Martin]

That really matches our question today about, like, resolutions.

[Fortune Feimster]

People are gonna be making some bad choices. We hope you make good choices. Be safe.

[May Martin]

I do. I'm kind of. I'm definitely over, like, getting wasted on New Year's Eve because starting the year hungover is so bleak.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. Starting any day hungover. Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Jackson and I are gonna be making vision boards probably tom next day. That's our beginning of the year routine.

[May Martin]

I like a vision board. That's.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, we get. We have a stack of magazines that we collect for last month and we both have a piece of big white paper. We individually cut out our things and then we tape it and then we tell each other what our hopes are for the next year.

[Tig Notaro]

That's awesome.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I want one hippie dippy thing. We do.

[May Martin]

That's really good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Jax is not a share of feelings.

[May Martin]

Yeah. And she's sort of anti crystal healing. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But not in the woo woo.

[Tig Notaro]

She doesn't like to hug, but vision board.

[Fortune Feimster]

A vision board, baby. And. And at the end of the year, we do look at the old ones and go, oh, interesting. That. Yeah. So this is cool. We're about. It's our time to shine.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Love that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I hope you guys have a lovely New Year's Eve.

[Tig Notaro]

I hope that for both of you as well.

[May Martin]

I. I usually get dim sum and I get a little fortune cookie. I like that. So I'll let you know what it says.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, please do.

[May Martin]

I hate when it's a joke fortune. Like, you'll have a good food in the meal you're having currently. Well, that's a bad example, but you know what I mean.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know what you mean. Some of them say like an actual fortune, and some are just like, it's.

[Tig Notaro]

It's.

[Fortune Feimster]

Blue is a great color.

[May Martin]

Yeah. But guys, if you want to see maybe Ginger in Nashville on April 6, we'll be doing our a live handsome show. And then in Austin on April 12th.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah.

[May Martin]

Can't wait. Never been to those cities.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, these tickets are going fast.

[May Martin]

Yeah, let's sell them out.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And then as always, you know, feel free to get my album. Hello again. It's audio version of my latest special, my special Crushing.

[Fortune Feimster]

It is streaming on Netflix. Please watch it if you haven't tell your friends. And I'm on tour. I'm in a bunch of clubs the next couple months around California and then a big theater tour starting April 1st where I'm coming to a bunch of cities. So go to FortuneFEAPS.com to see where I'm coming.

[May Martin]

And if this episode has got you thinking about addictive tendencies, you could watch Feelgood on Netflix. It's a comedy drama that I made about addictive behaviors, kind of. So if you're hungover, just put that on.

[Fortune Feimster]

Have a great New Year's Eve.

[May Martin]

And thank you for all the support this year for the Pod. We're heading into next year feeling energized, full of vigor, pumped to do more cool stuff with you too.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, what an awesome year it's been doing Handsome with you guys.

[Tig Notaro]

Really great. And. And until next time, guys, I mean, shall we keep.

[May Martin]

Handsome is hosted by Me May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feamster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] and please follow us on social media at Handsome Pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a podcast.

[May Martin]

Podcast.

[Ego Wodum]

What a podcast.

[May Martin]

That was a Hitgum podcast. Hey.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey.

[Thomas Willette]

I'm Lamorne Morris. And I'm Kyle Chevron. And we are here interrupting your workout to tell you about the lemorning after podcast now on Headgum. That's right. Every Wednesday, a new episode drops and we wait. Lamor, what are you doing over there?

[Tig Notaro]

It's nothing.

[Thomas Willette]

Just polishing Miami. Why? Well, because we're now the only official Headgum podcast hosted by an Emmy winner. Is that true? You're probably not, but Jake Johnson's on Headgum. Does he have an Emmy? No, but. But he has been a guest on the Morning after, which might be an even bigger honor. I mean, and we have other amazing guests like Glenn Powell, Raven Simone, the cast of New Girl, and many, many more. Plus, we play games, we tell stories. We poll the fans for questions. We poll them for questions. Just pulling them constantly up and down, sideways, backwards. It's a lot less weird than it sounds. You'll see. Subscribe to the Morning after on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday.