Hayley Kiyoko asks about Victorian love stories

Summary

Handsome Podcast — Hayley Kiyoko Asks About Victorian Love Stories

Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Episode Date: April 14, 2026
Special Guest: Hayley Kiyoko (via submitted question)

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of Handsome features comedians Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin as they tackle a question from singer, actor, and author Hayley Kiyoko: “If you could take any classic Victorian love story and make it queer, which one would you do and why?” The discussion is characteristically irreverent, warm, and meandering, touching on everything from award show fashion, Southern family celebrations, and reading habits, to the (somewhat limited) knowledge the hosts have of Victorian literature. Throughout, the trio showcases their trademark mix of self-deprecation, heart, and good-humored teasing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up: Award Shows, Travel, and Life Updates

• Mae’s Big Week:

  • Mae recently hosted the Juno Awards, sharing stories of meeting Joni Mitchell and Sarah McLachlan and a behind-the-scenes joke involving Joni and the Canadian Prime Minister. (07:00–08:44)
  • "No one had briefed Joni Mitchell on this joke. And she just looked dead." — Mae Martin (08:16)
  • Celebrations included 20 McNuggets after the show and a rare night off in a nice hotel room with plans for a spa night. (10:16–13:07)

• Fortune’s Update:

  • Wrapping up a film project and prepping for a stand-up tour, with a side trip planned to Amsterdam. She discusses her likelihood (or not) of sampling local joints. (14:06–15:18)
  • Shared details about organizing her partner Ginger’s 80th birthday party and the joys of gathering with family. (15:39–23:10)
  • "It was such an old lady, Southern old lady menu…" — Fortune Feimster, listing ham biscuits, salad spreads, and nugs (16:00)

• Tig’s Updates:

  • Notes her collection of quirky and sometimes mystical fan gifts, such as “a necklace made from a possum’s tooth.” (04:12–04:29)

2. Old Friends and Family Rituals

• Discussions underscore the value of family, tradition, and celebrating loved ones while they're alive, not just at funerals. (22:31–23:08)
• Light-hearted banter about aging, potential facelifts, and self-acceptance. (25:10–26:44)

3. Hayley Kiyoko’s Question: Victorian Love Stories Queered

[38:13]

• Prompt: "If you could take any classic Victorian love story and make it queer, which one would you do and why?"

Hosts’ Honest Admissions:

• None of the hosts claim in-depth knowledge of Victorian romantic fiction—sparking lots of jokes:
  • “Can we admit that the reason we haven’t done this question yet ... is because none of us know Victorian love story?” — Tig Notaro (38:25)
  • Fortune: “We don’t know Victorian love story.” (38:33)

Attempting to Name & Discuss Victorian Love Stories:

• They riff around the concepts of Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, and Tess of the D’Urbervilles, but admit only a passing familiarity.
• Mae notes, "I don’t want to inflict [the tragedy of Tess] on queer characters... so maybe Jane Eyre…" (41:44)
• Fortune: “If you’re going to turn a Victorian love story gay, then you’re going to have the person in the tuxedo and the top hat be the person that’s being promised the wife. But in our gay version treats the wife really well, not just as a piece of property.” (43:31)

Pride and Prejudice: The Default Choice?

• Mae settles on Pride and Prejudice, “because I saw Iris Darcy when I was watching it.” (43:13, 53:44)
• The group imagines a queered adaptation where love is out in the open and roles are flipped or expanded.
  • “Like in Jane Eyre, if it’s a sort of woman in a suit who locked her ex-wife in a tower…” — Mae (44:03)
• Parallels are drawn with shows like Bridgerton and Gentleman Jack, the latter described as a “gay version of a Victorian love story.” (43:13)

Claiming Little Women As (Almost) Victorian and Very Queer

• The group discusses Little Women, not strictly Victorian, but “Why does it feel very gay to me?” — Fortune (54:45)
• Hayley Kiyoko, in her response, echoes this axis, citing both Pride and Prejudice and Little Women as inspirations. (53:44)

4. Fun Digressions and Tangents

• Extended bits about playing Charlie Brown and Peppermint Patty in school plays, symbolizing their lifelong affinity for queer and androgynous characters. (40:12–41:19)
• Gross-out childhood stories about leech encounters while playing in ditches. (46:01–46:55)
• The fantasy of a “queer Stand By Me” or a Golden Girls-style later-life communal living situation. (45:06–45:49, 24:13–24:45)

5. Reflections on Reading, Meditating, and Attention

• They champion the benefits of family reading time and meditation practice to combat the negative effects of technology. (55:21–56:11)
• “All the proof about, like, how reading … regulates your nervous system … it’s pretty good for you.” — Tig (55:54)
• The surprising productivity boost from daily meditation is discussed. (48:10–48:35)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “No one had briefed Joni Mitchell on this joke. And she just looked dead.” — Mae Martin (08:16)
• “It was such an old lady, Southern old lady menu… And then she added nugs at the end, which was the only food I was in.” — Fortune Feimster (16:00, 21:25)
• “Can we admit that the reason we haven’t done this question yet ... is because none of us know Victorian love story?” — Tig Notaro (38:25)
• “I always related to, like, the little boy characters in Charles Dickens…” — Tig Notaro (50:57)
• “Why does [Little Women] feel very gay to me?” — Fortune Feimster (54:45)
• “I wanna see a queer Stand By Me with a bunch of little androgynous non-binary...” — Tig Notaro (45:06)
• "I saw Iris Darcy when I was watching it. And also Little Women. And that obviously inspired my new book Where There’s Room for Us." — Hayley Kiyoko (53:44)

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|---------| | 07:00 – 08:44 | Mae recounts hosting the Junos & celeb encounters | | 15:39 – 23:10 | Fortune describes Ginger’s 80th birthday & family togetherness | | 25:10 – 26:44 | Candid conversation about aging and facelifts | | 38:13 | Hayley Kiyoko’s question is introduced | | 41:44 | Mae details Jane Eyre as a potential queer rewrite | | 43:13 | Multiple ideas for queer Victorian stories, comparison with Gentleman Jack | | 45:06 | Tig’s dream of a queer Stand By Me | | 46:01 – 46:55 | Leeches and wild childhood stories | | 53:44 | Hayley Kiyoko answers her own question, linking her novel | | 54:45 | Little Women’s “gay energy” discussed | | 55:21 – 56:11 | Reading time and digital detox chat |

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Overall Episode Mood & Tone

The episode is full of playful disarray, with plenty of candid admissions about not knowing their Victorian canon, gentle ribbing between the hosts, heartfelt detours about family and self-image, and moments of sincere queer camaraderie. The spirit is one of inclusivity, curiosity, and finding joy (and humor) in the intersections of culture, literature, and lived identity.

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Takeaway for Listeners

Even if you don’t know your Hardy from your Austen, you’ll find laughs and relatability here—from discussions of celebratory nugs and bath bombs to aspirational all-women communes and the enduring appeal of imagining a queerer literary and cinematic past. Hayley Kiyoko’s question sparks inventiveness more than scholarship, and the end result is a warm, slightly chaotic ode to queer retellings and chosen family.

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For More

Catch future and past episodes wherever you listen to podcasts, and if you know more Victorian love stories, send your suggestions and mantras their way—maybe you’ll inspire the next Handsome riff!

Transcript

[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod.

[May Martin]

Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pot. It's your dear, dear friend, Tig Notaro, sitting here with my two very handsome

[Fortune Feimster]

co hosts, Unfortune Feamster and I'm May Martin.

[Tig Notaro]

Yay.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're drinking our coffee, May.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, we are. Girl.

[May Martin]

I'm drinking my water. I forgot.

[Fortune Feimster]

A lovely fan made me this coffee mug and look what it says.

[Tig Notaro]

It's. It says Cooter on it.

[Fortune Feimster]

It does say Cooter. And it says this.

[May Martin]

What does that say?

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune Marie.

[Fortune Feimster]

Fortune Marie.

[May Martin]

Oh, boy. That is a real nice mug.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's a handsome listener.

[May Martin]

Who.

[Fortune Feimster]

Who made this? Herself.

[Tig Notaro]

That's really nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

What's it called?

[May Martin]

She didn't find it in a store.

[Tig Notaro]

Good one.

[Fortune Feimster]

What do you call it when you make stuff out of pot? With pottery.

[May Martin]

Pottery?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, pottery. Yeah. Ceramics.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, but is there a word for it? You throw It. No, not throw it.

[Tig Notaro]

You turn it.

[Fortune Feimster]

You turn it.

[Tig Notaro]

You turn it.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then you smack it, flip it, rub it down,

[Tig Notaro]

and then you drop it like it's hot.

[May Martin]

Yeah, you do gotta drop it like it's hot.

[Fortune Feimster]

At some point, I'm gonna put some stuff on my wall here that some of our lovely, handsome listeners, you know, give us various things at times that they make. And I want to have a little thing here at a handsome wall. Yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

That will fill up fast.

[Tig Notaro]

I have, like, from touring, in these meet and greets, I have, like, a suitcase full of these magical items people are giving me and, like, handmade, amazing things, and I'm scared to ever get rid of them. So I think.

[May Martin]

Scared.

[Fortune Feimster]

Scared because of the magic that comes with them.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, oh.

[Tig Notaro]

Because people are. One person was like, this is a key that I found when I was seven. And it's, like, so spiritually powerful. Or someone gave me, like, voodoo things from a voodoo priestess.

[May Martin]

Voodoo things.

[Tig Notaro]

One person gave me a necklace made from a possum's tooth. And they go, oh, yeah, we made it. We harvested it today. I was like, what do you mean? How'd you get the possum? And they. And they were like, I don't know. I don't know if they're scouring for roadkill or what.

[Fortune Feimster]

You have interesting fans on your side.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey, we have interesting fans. This is our fans.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, but none of those. None of those particular fans are coming to me with a possum tooth.

[May Martin]

Yeah. They're just bringing their cooters directly to fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

It is funny how people respond to us differently based on our own personality.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I think all of May's stuff is directly tied to the kinks.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you?

[Fortune Feimster]

Or the animals.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Or just mysticism. And I'm gonna have to, like, open a museum or something after this.

[May Martin]

Oh, for sure you'll be.

[Fortune Feimster]

My next suggestion was the museum.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I did. Someone was like, where are you going to keep it all? And I said, well, I might have to build, like, a shed or something.

[Fortune Feimster]

Definitely build a shed. That would be the museum.

[May Martin]

Would you build it on your own?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, that would be cool. I've never.

[May Martin]

The three of us could do. The three of us could build your shed. Put it on the list, Thomas.

[Fortune Feimster]

But just know I am so not handy.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, fortunately, you can do. You can trim the bushes with your weed whacker or whatever.

[May Martin]

That's right.

[Fortune Feimster]

Take me that for our holiday show that we did. Holly bulbs.

[May Martin]

Tig, how much have you used it?

[Fortune Feimster]

I actually. I wish I had it with me yesterday because I was at my old house. We're about to sell it, and I needed a tr. To trim the tree.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I had to use this, like, hand trimmer. And I thought about how much I desperately wish to have your. What. What do you call it? Weed.

[Tig Notaro]

Weed whacker.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's not a weed whacker, but it's a hand. Hand.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Like.

[May Martin]

Yeah. I don't know what it's called.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Hedge trim. That's it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Ed.

[May Martin]

Streamer.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you. We saw the. The, you know, slang term.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I wanted it so bad because that would have taken me. What, took me an hour.

[Tig Notaro]

Took.

[Fortune Feimster]

Would have taken me five minutes. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Well, you should travel with it in your trunk. I should.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

You never know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Whenever I see anything that needs tripping pop out of my car.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. You could give haircuts with it. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah. You go first.

[Tig Notaro]

I've been cutting my own hair on tour. And then I had to host the. Or had to. I hosted the Juno's, like, two nights ago.

[Fortune Feimster]

How'd it go, girls?

[Tig Notaro]

It was crazy.

[May Martin]

Girl, tell us.

[Tig Notaro]

I was in an arena and I don't know, I was. I was actually less nervous than I thought, but it was wild. Like, Joanie Mitchell. I met Joni Mitchell.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Tig Notaro]

I met Sarah McLachlan. I was like, real fan energy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, and I think that's. I think that was nice. And I felt really grateful and patriotic to be in Canada.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, be a Canadian.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Because I flew from Philadelphia from tour and airport was full of ice agents and. And then, like, landing in Canada was like, yeah. Crazy. I haven't seen ice agents up close like that. And they're like caricatures of those just, like, chest puffed out and just like,

[Fortune Feimster]

okay, let's keep a move.

[Tig Notaro]

I was like, oh, man. Trying not to make eye contact. Crazy. But the award show was crazy. And I wore a nice suit and I got my dad involved and his puppy. Yeah, it was.

[May Martin]

What do you mean? How was your dad involved?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I had this joke where I said, I'm so excited. My parents are here. And then the camera's cut to Joni Mitchell and the prime minister. And then.

[May Martin]

Those are your parents.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

No one had briefed Joni Mitchell on this joke. And she just looked dead.

[Fortune Feimster]

She's just like, what?

[May Martin]

Better?

[Fortune Feimster]

I wonder if May knows I'm not their mom.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And the prime minister had to, like, nudge her and be like, this is about us. And then, so later, On. I was like, oh, yeah, that's Prime Minister Mark Carney's. Not my real dad, but my real dad is here, and he brought his puppet that used to teach me math. And then. So my dad's puppet was in it, and it was really nice.

[May Martin]

He used to teach you math?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Zoltan. The Beast from hell. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

The beast from Hell.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I saw you got your. It's been.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I did. It's been.

[Fortune Feimster]

And how did it go?

[May Martin]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Explain it. Tell me.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, well, so, you know, I mentioned on the podcast my. Yeah, yeah. Joke about. Yeah, it's been.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

So I. And I've noticed, like, on tour, people are yelling that in the crowds, like, it's really taken off. And then so I said, it's just nice to be back in a country where people know what I mean when I say. And thank God it went well, because I was pinning all my hopes on that joke.

[May Martin]

Oh, that's amazing.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I love it.

[May Martin]

Your suit looked nice.

[Tig Notaro]

Thanks, man.

[Fortune Feimster]

Look like you had a couple suits, right?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I had one for the red carpet that looked a little Prime Ministery. Like a little.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I just didn't.

[Tig Notaro]

I forgot that all the musicians are so stylish and edgy and like. Like, it was a very classic suit. So then I had a kind of a.

[Fortune Feimster]

More like that one looked that edgy.

[Tig Notaro]

Not.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, not edgy, but, you know, sexy.

[Tig Notaro]

Like the stylist. And everyone is like, oh, the. The future of menswear is, like, embracing the feminine. Like, a lot of these hot men, like, Paul Mez, and they're wearing these kind of feminine suits, and I'm like, oh, for sake. Like, can I. Like, I just want to wear classic menswear because when I wear a femme suit, people are like, oh, phew, that's the girl. And I'm like, no, you know, so, like, I'm.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm trying to get away from that.

[Tig Notaro]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Funny.

[Tig Notaro]

But it was really fun. And I. Afterwards, I had 20 nuggets. I went to bed, I ate 20 chicken nuggets, and then I went straight

[Fortune Feimster]

to bed from Mickey D's.

[May Martin]

And you were counting them?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, a box of 20. Polished them all.

[May Martin]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, I know. So interesting. Yeah, that's a lot of nuggets.

[Tig Notaro]

It's a lot.

[Fortune Feimster]

A lot of nuggets.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's a good. A good amount of nuggets.

[Tig Notaro]

I was too nervous to eat.

[May Martin]

Are you a sauce person?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I'm a sauce gal.

[May Martin]

What are the sauce flavors that you're fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

What are your. What are your picks?

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, every place has a sauce that I like and that it's not all the same, but if I'm going nugs at McDonald's, it's definitely barbecue sauce.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Nugs, Nugs, nugs.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm definitely going barbecue sauce at Mickey D's.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I. I'm going hot mustard or. And barbecue. And yeah, it was embarrassing. Like after the show, they're like, no ketchup. No, no, no.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not on your nuggets.

[May Martin]

Okay, okay. My apologies for suggesting such a thing.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, they were like, what can we get you? Like, they had like champagne and stuff. And I was like, I would love 20 nuggets. And they were like, oh, we'll see if. If the kitchen can. I was like, no, no, from. From McDonald's, please. And then I passed out. And then last night, from the nuggets, probably.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And last night I got to sleep in my parents basement. That was really nice. They. You know, they have a Murphy bed down there.

[Fortune Feimster]

I got to sleep and my parents got to sleep.

[May Martin]

You had to host the Juno.

[Fortune Feimster]

Juno Awards.

[May Martin]

I had to host the Juno awards.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was in a Murphy bed in a basement.

[May Martin]

And then I got to sleep in the bas. Bring it back down to earth.

[Fortune Feimster]

After being what a week you've had, bud?

[Tig Notaro]

Dude, what a month? Like that, I realized I haven't had a home cooked meal in a month. So my dad made like roast chicken and potatoes and Brock. And then I slept like a baby. Yeah, Brock nuggets then.

[May Martin]

Brock nugs and Brock.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

That is so funny.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, so you just need a little tlc.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Then tonight is. Aside from seeing your beautiful faces, this is my first day off and I'm. I. Girls, I'm having a spa night in my room.

[May Martin]

Girl, what are you doing?

[Tig Notaro]

I got bath salts. I got.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[May Martin]

Oh, it's your own little private spot. You don't have someone coming in, you know, slapping you, rubbing you, pinching you.

[Tig Notaro]

Nice. I wouldn't mind getting slapped and rubbed. No, I got all the gear in this nice bathtub here. And I'm gonna just like. I got my paint, so I'm gonna

[May Martin]

paint and what hotel are you in?

[Tig Notaro]

I'm at the Shangri La. Oh, I should leave it.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I'm in room 716. It looks like there's a painting of a penguin that is.

[May Martin]

Yes. Got to.

[Tig Notaro]

That seems begging to have something hidden.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, it looks like a nice room.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, it's so. I'm sorry. Happy to Be off the bus. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm so glad you're gonna have bath salts. And do you have a bath bomb?

[Tig Notaro]

No, just.

[May Martin]

Good question. Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you. They sell them at the. What's the drugstore there?

[Tig Notaro]

Shoppers Drug Mart.

[Fortune Feimster]

Shoppers Drug Mart. They have. They have. You can actually get a package of bath bombs for only, like, six bucks.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, God, I love Canada. I'm sure you can get that America, too.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's in the Epsom salt bath area.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. Yeah, I'll check it out. How are you guys? What's going on? You're back from the south? Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm back for a minute, and then I start my tour this week that's coming back up. And then I'm going to take a little trip to Amsterdam. I'm doing a little a show, but I also have some, like, work stuff I got to do and then also a couple days of just lollygagging around.

[May Martin]

Work stuff in Amsterdam?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And then you finished your movie.

[Fortune Feimster]

I did. I'm done with that. And so now it's all touring again.

[May Martin]

Cool.

[Tig Notaro]

Amsterdam. The art galleries there are so good. Would you ever. Would you ever smoke a joint there in Amsterdam? Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

I. I'm not. I mean, I would if the. If it made sense, but I probably won't.

[May Martin]

What do you mean, if it made sense?

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, it's like.

[May Martin]

Well, it doesn't make sense to smoke drugs right now.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, I was in a cafe and it was like a. I don't know. The opportunity presented itself in a. In a safe way, like an organic. Not like a stranger handing me a joint. But it's not really my thing, so more than likely I will not be doing that.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. No. And is. Is Ginger coming?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, no, she will not be there. She might be coming to the. I have to go back to Europe for a run of shows the end of May, early June. And she might be coming to a few of those cities.

[May Martin]

That'll be fun.

[Fortune Feimster]

But we did just have her 80th birthday party. Girl.

[May Martin]

Dish.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

So happy it went as good as she said she hoped it would. She said it's the best party ever.

[Tig Notaro]

What food did you have?

[May Martin]

Oh, it was so Nugs and Brock.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was such an old lady, Southern old lady menu.

[Tig Notaro]

Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was not for me, but she loved it. It was egg salad sandwiches and pimento cheese sandwiches. Broccoli salad, Brock salad salad, potato salad, fruit and ham biscuits. And then at the end, she got worried that.

[May Martin]

What is that? It's ham and a biscuit.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, you know, like A biscuit, but not the cookie.

[Tig Notaro]

Like a scone, almost.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, you know what a Southern biscuit is, right?

[Tig Notaro]

I feel like we've talked about this and I've tried to understand.

[Fortune Feimster]

Someone's calling your room.

[May Martin]

Somebody is calling the landline in my office. I did not think.

[Fortune Feimster]

You could not think that someone's house had a landline.

[May Martin]

Yeah, and it says spam risk. And Stephanie makes fun of me because I'm always like, spam risk. Hello? But yeah, we have a landline so our kids can call if there's an emergency.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, okay.

[May Martin]

Or if somebody wants to spam us.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, it was for sure Maze room saying they had bath bombs.

[May Martin]

No, it was me.

[Fortune Feimster]

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[May Martin]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote. That could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Finally, an alcohol alternative that actually works with an uplifting euphoric buzz you can really feel without any of the negative side effects. We're talking, of course, about Willy's THC infused social tonic.

[Fortune Feimster]

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[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

So Southern biscuits are like, yeah, let's

[Tig Notaro]

get back to ham biscuits.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's like, you know, it's not a scone. It's like. I don't know how to describe them.

[May Martin]

I love when May seems like an alien.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's a threat right now. It's a breakfast food that, you know, like biscuits and gravy. Yeah. Like a dense bread.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know why you're rebelling so much on the scones thing to me. Very similar.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, but not. I guess. Yeah, Like a savory scone.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[May Martin]

But plain.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then it has ham in it, cooked into it.

[May Martin]

Or like that makes sense.

[Fortune Feimster]

Just placed into it. Placed into it with like some mustard. And then she was worried there wouldn't be enough food. And I also was like, what the fuck is this menu? Because this was dinner time, too. This seems like a ladies luncheon in the South. This is dinner time. And so she added nugs.

[Tig Notaro]

No way.

[Fortune Feimster]

She added nugs at the end, which was the only food I was in.

[May Martin]

From McDonald's?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, just from the caterer. But I like, I. I was like, what is this food? This is so weird. And she was like that. The food was amazing. And I was like, great. Because all that matters is that she was happy, right?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And on all her old friends also loved it. And then my brothers and I threw the party together. So they were very. It was cute. The three of us were just kind of going around talking to all her friends for the whole time.

[May Martin]

Old friends, as you said.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, any friends. Some happen to be old. And then we had like a ton of family come, like, nice. Like almost 20 cousins and.

[Tig Notaro]

Whoa.

[Fortune Feimster]

From all over came, like, we hadn't all been together since I was probably, like, 12. So that was really cool.

[Tig Notaro]

It is a big deal. That's.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And with her being sick, I think, you know, people were just like, this is a rare opportunity for everyone to be together.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And we should tell her you love her and. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because, you know, a lot of times, people don't gather like that until someone's actually, like, at a funeral.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And how. What a treat to get to, like, have everyone together while you're alive. Yeah.

[May Martin]

And how is she feeling at the party?

[Fortune Feimster]

So she was a little tired that day. She had to sit down at different times because she said she was having dizzy spells. But people just came up to her and chatted with her, and she took a lot of pictures, and she had on a cute yellow dress and.

[May Martin]

Nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think she's still beaming about it. She just said she had the best time.

[Tig Notaro]

That's so nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Joni Mitchell's speech was so hilarious. And she's. Yeah. She's like, 80. And so she said in her speech, it's the one thing I liked was she goes. She's like, I had an aneurysm 11 years ago. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. Because she goes, I always lived with men, or I toured with men, or I lived with boyfriends and stuff. And she's like, now I live with all these nurses. I live in a house full of women. And she goes, I am happy, happy, happy, happy. She said happy, like, 12 times. Yeah. I just love it. She's like, I love living with women now. It was awesome.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Women are the best.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. The best.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I like women.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

There's some rotten ones out there, but.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, I like women.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're all just like. We like. We like them. There's some rotten ones out there.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Bring back the matriarchy. That's what we're all yearning for.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm telling you. I've told y' all many times, even though y' all have never watched this show, which is. Hurts my heart, but my dream is, like, a Golden Girl situation.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Where it's just a bunch of women in the house, living together in our old age, eating cheesecake. I mean, preferably, I'm sleeping with one of those women, you know?

[Tig Notaro]

So you don't want. You don't want.

[May Martin]

Maybe you could hang out with your mom's old friends.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm not ready for it yet. I'm talking about down the road.

[May Martin]

Oh, okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Well, as you know, I've hit that age where I can. I can start moving on into that world.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. You know, you're. You can get your senior drink, and you can move into a retirement community.

[May Martin]

That's right. I didn't go get my senior drink. I need to.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, you do.

[Tig Notaro]

Tig. What? Have you had your eye thing yet? What's going on?

[May Martin]

No, my.

[Fortune Feimster]

What's happening with your eye?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Is it closing right now?

[Fortune Feimster]

No. A little bit.

[Tig Notaro]

A little bit.

[May Martin]

Yeah. It's. It's been delayed because another doctor wants to look at it because this particular condition that I have might be directly related to it, so they just want to, like, check things out and be a little more thorough.

[Tig Notaro]

I think I want to get a facelift.

[May Martin]

Are you serious?

[Fortune Feimster]

No. You are too young for that.

[May Martin]

No, I was actually going to suggest it. It's so interesting that.

[Fortune Feimster]

That it came. What are you talking about, Little cowboy?

[Tig Notaro]

I think I just. From. Maybe I'm just tired, but, like, I catch sight of myself, I got what they call tech neck, which is, like, from looking at your phone, you got, like, creases in your neck, and I'm like, maybe I'll just get a little.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, not. You're not ready for that.

[May Martin]

And certainly don't stop looking down.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

That's what I. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Get a face.

[Tig Notaro]

Surgical procedure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. But maybe all three of us could get one one day and then recover together and we could. We could podcast from.

[May Martin]

Put it on the list, Thomas.

[Tig Notaro]

Faceless facelifts together.

[Fortune Feimster]

What?

[May Martin]

Oh, my Lord.

[Fortune Feimster]

That is not where I thought the handsome pod was going.

[May Martin]

Listen, I see pictures of myself or on camera where I'm like, good Lord.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, good Lord.

[May Martin]

Time's moving on. But, you know, what about.

[Fortune Feimster]

Just start with, like, lasers right now? Aren't lasers supposed to tighten stuff up?

[May Martin]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Tig Notaro]

I. Like, I. I've heard that in the old days, actresses or actors would just tape. They'd put tape under their hairline just to pull. That's it.

[May Martin]

Oh, I was talking to an actress. Yeah, I was talking to an actress at. At one of the Oscar parties, and she goes, oops. And I was like, what? And she goes, oh, my tape. My neck tape. Just. Or some tape. That was. I don't know what it was doing, but I had never hear that. But she had that, and it, like, popped or something, and, like, she had to adjust.

[Tig Notaro]

That's unfortunate.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I didn't. I was. I had not heard of that.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, imagine if you were accepting an award or something. And the tape popped mid speech. And you said, oh, boy.

[May Martin]

I have a fantasy of, like. I always think about when people get a charley horse, you know, in their leg. And I thought it'd be funny. Like, if you're running up to get your Oscar or something, and then a Charlie horse kicks in while you're going upstairs.

[Fortune Feimster]

I get this quite a bit. I feel like my. I'm too tight or something.

[Tig Notaro]

That's dehydration, too.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, is it? I feel like I drink a lot of water, but a little bit more. Sometimes I'll be in bed in the morning and I'll, like, stretch and. Oh, yeah, like, hit my leg. And I'm like, yes, sir. The worst. Oh, so painful.

[May Martin]

Guys. Oh, go ahead.

[Tig Notaro]

I was just gonna say that the. The Juno's was live. It was live. I've never done that. And so. Oh, I was really worried something would happen live. And then the only thing that happened was Nelly Furtado's earring fell off when she was accepting an award. And she was so smooth about it. It just fell off onto her shoulder. And then she was like, anyone need an earring? And then just kept going. Like, it was really good.

[May Martin]

Completely seamless.

[Tig Notaro]

She was so awesome.

[Fortune Feimster]

They did Nelly.

[Tig Notaro]

She's inducted into the Canadian hall of Fame. So they did, like, montage of, like, all these different performers singing her hits. And you just forget, like, how many hits she's got.

[Fortune Feimster]

Some bangers.

[May Martin]

Do you know her personally? Because I know she did the podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, she did the question. And then. Yeah, when I saw her in the audience, we did a little bit where I was like, can. Can what? Can I remake Promiscuous Girl into promiscuous? They them or something. She was like. She seemed like we were old friends. She was like, oh, my God. Hi. And then she said, I'm so nervous. And then. And then when I asked her that, she was like, yeah, that's hot. Let's do it. She was so nice. Yeah. Crying Dirt when everyone was doing the her songs.

[Fortune Feimster]

I bet. That's so cool.

[Tig Notaro]

What a nice person. Her daughter was there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I love that. She's got some jams, for sure.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, girl, you know, you act so tough, tough, tough, and then turn off the lights. You remember that?

[May Martin]

I don't. Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

That was. That pause was.

[May Martin]

Well, I was gonna say I won't be in Toronto as much anymore because Starfleet Academy was canceled.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, no.

[Tig Notaro]

What?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

When did you hear that?

[May Martin]

Gosh, when did I hear that? Maybe a week and a half ago. Something like that.

[Tig Notaro]

That's sucks.

[May Martin]

It's. It's ok. I mean, I feel bad for the crew and, and, and, you know, the cast. There's a lot of actors that hadn't worked before. And so we filmed two seasons. They aired the first season, then they announced that they were canceling it, but then they're gonna still air the second season.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, good.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, that's it.

[Fortune Feimster]

You had a good run. How many seasons was it?

[May Martin]

Well, it's just two, but for some

[Fortune Feimster]

reason I was thinking it was several. More than one?

[May Martin]

Well, I was on Star Trek Discovery before.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's what it was.

[May Martin]

So the new, the new show was canceled right after the first season.

[Fortune Feimster]

So no Toronto for.

[May Martin]

No, I mean, no Toronto for tv. I mean, I'm afraid for fun. Huh?

[Tig Notaro]

Maybe Toronto for fun.

[May Martin]

Maybe Toronto for fun. Toronto definitely. For stand up.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

But I will not be going back and forth. I love Toronto, I love Canada. I loved going out there to work. But, you know, maybe my next gig will be in Los Angeles.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, that would be nice too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

It's a fat chance, but wouldn't that be nice?

[Fortune Feimster]

I will. Well, I just filmed two things back to back in la. It was unbelievable.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's really, really nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

To be in my own bed and myself to work. It was amazing.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, there is something nice about being away from home in a little bubble where you're making something, but then increasingly I'm like, I don't know that I need that anymore. I'd like.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's hard. It's hard to be away for that long because especially Toronto's so far from la and also like in another. Being in another country, there's just certain, like, errands you aren't able to do because you're not a citizen.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, right, right. Yeah. I just like to go to shop. Oh, yeah, the bank. You got it. You can't go to the bank.

[May Martin]

I haven't touched cash in a few years.

[Fortune Feimster]

What?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know what to say to that. What do you mean a few years?

[Fortune Feimster]

You don't have any money in your pocket ever?

[May Martin]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

Tipping valet.

[May Martin]

Yeah, Venmo, they all take Venmo.

[Tig Notaro]

But what about if, for the apocalypse? You should have some cash stored.

[May Martin]

I have. I have some cash. I just haven't touched it. I haven't touched it.

[Fortune Feimster]

You open your wallet and you're like, grab. Just grab something.

[May Martin]

Well, it's just like my, my credit cards on my phone, you know, like, I just. Venmo people. I just haven't touched cash in a Long time. Well, which is great for germaphobe.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that's true.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

My dad gave me 500 cash today. And it was like, why Exactly. So it was because they have a book that's come out, my parents. And they were like, we want to send the book to people. And you know when it was like their logic was like, we got to send it to people in America, but we don't have an Amazon American account. We want you to send it from your American. And I was like, there's a way to do this, guys. Like, we can. Let me in there. I can do it on your account. You can still send stuff to America. But they were like, no, it won't work. And they were like, we'd rather give you the cash. And it was this whole convoluted process.

[May Martin]

I understand that nervousness of international. God only knows if. Yeah, I mean your parents are getting up there maybe.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I mean, but they're not terribly old.

[Tig Notaro]

But you're like 70. And my mom's going to Paris today to do to look in some. There's such history buffs. She's looking in some archives because she wants to write about this person and she's going with her friend who's 72 or something. This woman's such a badass. She's going for three months to Paris, this woman, Barb. And Barb, she's only bringing a backpack, guys.

[May Martin]

Classic Barb.

[Fortune Feimster]

She's going to have to wash her ponties.

[May Martin]

Yeah, she is.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

In the coffee maker.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

That's so gross. Let's not get people doing that.

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[May Martin]

Well, best of luck to Barb on her travels.

[Fortune Feimster]

Barb has an amazing time.

[May Martin]

Yes, we love Barbara are.

[Fortune Feimster]

Today's episode of Handsome is supported by O Positive. O Positive is a women's health company that offers a range of best selling symptom targeting supplements that support women at every stage of life from their first period to well beyond their last. Their products are bestsellers because they create real tangible results. Using ingredients backed by clinical studies and shaped by board certified doctors.

[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

Take proactive care of your health and head to oppositive.com handsome or enter handsome at checkout for 25% off your first purchase. That's O-P-O-S-I-T-I V dot com. Handsome for 25% off.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune in partnership with Airbnb. Let's talk about our spring travel plans.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, we're both on tour, and when I'm on tour, I tend to not think about booking additional travel. Except here's an idea that I had. What if we make the handsome wellness weekend we've been talking about into a staycation and book a home on Airbnb?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I love that idea. Okay, that's good. What are we gonna need? Obviously, we're gonna need outdoor space for meditating. I feel like we need a pool to tread water in.

[Fortune Feimster]

And don't forget a hot tub that's big enough for the three of us. It's got to be a deep one, too. All right. None of that shallow stuff stuff. And inside the house, maybe, like, a nice kitchen so we can make some smoothies.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. This is going to be amazing. I'm going to start looking on Airbnb right away.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I'll see you in the tub, my friend. With a green juice in hand, we're

[Tig Notaro]

going to find the perfect spot on Airbnb. Cheers.

[May Martin]

It's Way Day at Wayfair. From April 25th through the 27th, you can score the best deals in home, like, up to 80% off with free shipping on everything Wayfair's got. With Wayfair, it's easy to find exactly what fits your style and needs, from furniture to decor to all your outdoor essentials. All of it is on sale during weigh day. Upgrade your space with quality pieces that work within your budget. And the best part, everything ships fast and free during weigh day.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm still decorating my new house, and I've really enjoyed discovering a new aesthetic that fits the style space. Every home is a little different, so browsing Wayfair gives me inspiration. I actually just bought a really unique accent chair on there that I'm really excited to try in my living room.

[May Martin]

Wayday is the sale to shop the best deals in home. We're talking up to 80% off with fast and free shipping on everything. Head to Wayfair.com April 25th through the 27th to shop Wayday. That's W-A Y-F-A-I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. Well, should we get to our question?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Tig Notaro]

Today's question Asker is a singer, songwriter, a writer, an actor, an LGBT advocate. Her novels Girls Like Girls and Where There's Room for Us are New York Times bestsellers. She also directed the film adaptation of Girls Like Girls, which comes out this June. She does it all. Hayley Kiyoko is asking today's question.

[Fortune Feimster]

She's busy.

[May Martin]

Hey, handsome.

[Fortune Feimster]

Podcast.

[May Martin]

I'm so happy to be here. Okay, my question is, if you could take any classic Victorian love story and make it queer, which one would you do and why?

[Tig Notaro]

And can we admit that the reason we haven't done this question yet and we've had it in the bank for a while is because none of us know Victorian love story?

[Fortune Feimster]

We don't know Victorian love story.

[May Martin]

I would assume that may would and maybe even second place Fortune, but honestly,

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know a lot as Although is Wuthering Heights Victorian.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, once that just came out, the redo. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, when I think about it, I just didn't know what's Victorian and what's not. But Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre, anything by Thomas.

[May Martin]

So funny.

[Fortune Feimster]

People are obsessed with those books and then thus, eventually movies. They don't do a lot for me.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I've never been deep into period drama love stories.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But actually weirdly synchronistic. I in the Junos, I did a shout out to my grade four music teacher, Carla Silver, and I was. I didn't think she'd ever see it. And then her daughter messaged me and was like, she saw this. And then my teacher emailed me and you know how there's stuff that you don't remember? And in her email she was like, am I right in remembering that the principal of the school was like, trying to punish your grade seven class? And the punishment was you weren't allowed to go out at lunch and you had to watch Pride and Prejudice. And I've forgotten about that. And it was just my principal's weirdly specific obsession. She loved Pride and Prejudice and just

[Fortune Feimster]

wanted to watch it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And that was her punishment. And we all.

[May Martin]

How wild that your teacher. Have you talked to your teacher since

[Fortune Feimster]

she was your teacher?

[Tig Notaro]

Not really. I don't. I think a couple emails. But she was my teacher and very influential. She cast me as Charlie Brown in grade four.

[May Martin]

Oh, nice.

[Tig Notaro]

Which was very gender euphoric for me. I was like, this is who I'm meant to be.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, this is it.

[May Martin]

Do you identify as Charlie Brown in ways?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Well, I said in the June, I was like, yeah. An existentially disturbed little boy. Yeah, definitely. I love. You know, he's in love with Peppermint Patty and he's just like always pining for someone and.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I played Peppermint Patty in my fourth grade play.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I could see that.

[May Martin]

You and your course I did.

[Fortune Feimster]

Year old tea was.

[Tig Notaro]

And you're a good man, Charlie Brown.

[May Martin]

I believe so. I mean, I don't really remember very much, but I do remember I was Peppermint Patty. But it was, you know, it made sense that I was the character. However, I remember I had to wear a dress.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, no. Peppermint Patty had to wear dresses.

[May Martin]

It was a pink dress with sandals. And then I wore a baseball cap and I was like, this is not quite it.

[Tig Notaro]

I think you would have made it.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is close as they could get in that time.

[May Martin]

Yeah, it was just like, we gotta put all the girls in dresses.

[Tig Notaro]

See, that was the benefit of. I went to an all girls school till grade nine, so I got to play all the boys because I had short hair. Yeah. So that was good. I was the closest thing they had.

[May Martin]

Of course. Of course.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. Victorian love story to make gay.

[Fortune Feimster]

I gotta Google more Victorian love stories.

[Tig Notaro]

I am a big Thomas Hardy fan, so Tess of the d' Urbervilles is. I mean, that is really depressing. That's like.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know what that is.

[Tig Notaro]

It's really heartbreaking about a woman whose life is kind of ruined. But. So I don't know if I want to inflict. I don't want to inflict that on. On queer characters. So maybe Jane Eyre, which is like a young governess, is looking after these kids she's hired to look out to. It's kind of like Sound of Music. She's hired to look after these kids. And then everyone's like, don't go in that tower. You're not allowed to go in that one tower. And I think she finds out that the wife of the boss man is locked in that tower because she went nuts.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think this question just made me realize how I'm aware of all these movies, but I don't know what any of them are about. Wait, is Little Women Is Little Women.

[May Martin]

That's.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, it's not really a love story and that's not really Victorian. Is Little Woman Victorian?

[May Martin]

How's this episode going?

[Fortune Feimster]

It's a Victorian era.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, Pride and Prejudice. The thing is, like, all these ones are so straight because they're about like,

[Fortune Feimster]

you know, it's about marriage, promise to a man. Right?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, like all about.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, well, that one, that one British show kind of had that. That lady acting all. You know what I'm talking about?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. What was that? I know what you mean, Gentlemen Jack. It was this like.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's kind of a gay version of a Victorian love story. But, but did any gay stuff happen in that show?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, really?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it was about like a butch woman.

[Fortune Feimster]

See, I like that. See, that's what I can imagine. Then if you're going to turn a Victorian love story gay, then you're going to have the person in the tuxedo and the top hat be the person that's being promised the wife. But in our gay version treats the wife really well, not just as a piece of property.

[Tig Notaro]

So like in Jane Eyre, if it's a sort of woman in a suit who locked her ex wife in a tower, then it would be like, oh, actually she was into that. Like it. Or like then they also. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

I'm gonna go with Pride and Prejudice.

[Fortune Feimster]

You would have, you would have the more romance involved, like the soft touch and the

[Tig Notaro]

like, I don't wanna, you

[May Martin]

know, nice act out.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, I don't want to have it be all like forbidden gay love. It's like I want to remake one of those.

[Fortune Feimster]

Be out in the open.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You would be the, you would be the, the lesbian person, would be the landowner.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that would be cool.

[Fortune Feimster]

And like the Gentleman Jack and like,

[Tig Notaro]

you know, like it's an alternate universe where that's just cool.

[Fortune Feimster]

In Victorian times there are women in this town who are also business people and well to do and you know, now has their lover who's also a lady and no one thinks twice about it.

[Tig Notaro]

Are there any like, modern movies and stuff? Like, I always wanted to make a queer Stand By Me with a bunch of little androgynous non binary.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, I would love to see that.

[Tig Notaro]

Imagine I want to play River Phoenix and Stand By Me so bad.

[May Martin]

I'd want to be in it too. Just because growing up I was Huckleberry Tig and it feels like I was. Would really, really thrive in that environment.

[Tig Notaro]

See, I think you would.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think I'd be more like Chunk and Goonies.

[Tig Notaro]

You'd be great in any of those movies.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's the Truffle Shuffle.

[Tig Notaro]

And Tig, you could be the kind of rebellious Corey Feldman character in Stand By Me who's like, my dad stormed the beach in Normandy.

[May Martin]

I'll be honest, I haven't seen the movie. But I do know that, you know, they get leeches on them and stuff and leeches on me as a kid.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you?

[May Martin]

I did. I was playing in a sewage ditch, of course. Like Little girls do.

[Fortune Feimster]

Disgusting.

[May Martin]

Yeah. And. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

When you pull them off, do they stick, or are they pretty easy to pull off?

[May Martin]

I don't have a great memory of it. I just remember when I surfaced, my leg surfaced. I was like, what the hell is this? Like, I was so confused because I was only nine, you know?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And I don't remember how they got off of me, but I'll never forget Thomas's face right now.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Thomas is really struggling with.

[Fortune Feimster]

I got leeches too, when I was a kid, and I just have, like a visceral memory of my dad, like, trying to get them off of me.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I don't. I really don't remember how. How'd you get leeches on you?

[Fortune Feimster]

A ditch.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Boy, did we wander off from our question.

[Tig Notaro]

But you gotta love.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's because none of us know Victoria love stories.

[Tig Notaro]

You should see. You should see. Stand By Me. Can we put that on our wellness weekend? Can we all watch it?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. To watch it. I haven't seen it since I was a kid, so.

[Tig Notaro]

Sure. I think it's flawless.

[Fortune Feimster]

Whatever gets me out of Pilates. Am I right?

[May Martin]

Do you go to Pilates?

[Fortune Feimster]

No. For a Weldon's weekend. I felt like y' all were gonna make me do something like that.

[May Martin]

I don't. I'm not gonna have you do Pilates. We're just gonna meditate and watch the sunrise and eat healthy food and listen to vinyl and journal and hold hands.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, the vinyl. The vinyl part is very cool. That's really cool. Do you meditate? Guys, we've talked about this before, but do you?

[May Martin]

I do.

[Tig Notaro]

Are you currently.

[May Martin]

Yeah, Yeah. I meditate in the morning for 20 minutes. Wanted to incorporate a second meditation in my day, but I'm the person with the terrible excuse of, like, I'm so busy. But what the surprising thing about meditation is, is it actually creates more time in your day.

[Tig Notaro]

Ah, well, because it just settles you and makes you able to tackle the day more efficiently.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And you. You kind of become more aware of your. Your time and what you're doing. And I don't know, it's. It's. It's kind of. It's an odd thing that I'm aware of. And when I was doing a twice a day practice, I was like, I totally have time for this.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Like even five minutes. I. I did. I tried the other day. I did five minutes. And my problem is that I want to sleep, like as soon as my nervous system relaxes. And I realize it hasn't for like 10 years or something. Then I'm just like. And I can't.

[May Martin]

Do you have a mantra?

[Tig Notaro]

No, I. I want you to give me one.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

I want you to give me one.

[May Martin]

Maybe we could ask our listeners to submit mantras. Yeah. And you can choose a mantra.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortunes will be.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have a perfect chair for meditating. I just need to sit down in it and do a.

[May Martin]

Is it a massage chair?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, it's an emore. Like, it's one of those Beams chairs.

[May Martin]

What is that?

[Tig Notaro]

What's Eames?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'll show you. You'll know what I'm talking about.

[Tig Notaro]

I want one of those chairs that's just fabric that hangs from the ceiling, and it's like a little cocoon. And you.

[Fortune Feimster]

That'd be nice.

[May Martin]

I feel like my hips would break.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right.

[May Martin]

But anyway.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, it's this.

[May Martin]

Oh, okay. Yeah. It's like, you go visit your therapist.

[Fortune Feimster]

One of those.

[May Martin]

That looks nice. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's a great chair for meditation. And I just haven't.

[May Martin]

And Are you interested in meditation? What else can we talk about to get away from the Victorian love stories?

[Fortune Feimster]

I can't believe you don't have a Victorian love story right off the dome.

[May Martin]

I said. I said Pride and Prejudice. I'd do that one.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, but do you even know what it's about?

[May Martin]

No more questions.

[Tig Notaro]

You don't even know what it's about.

[Fortune Feimster]

We literally don't know what. One of these stories about Mr. Darcy. I think that we weren't probably, like, into those because it was so antiquated.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

You know, and we're not smart enough. Right, guys? And that, too.

[Tig Notaro]

I think that's why Haley. Kyoko's interested in, like, retelling

[Fortune Feimster]

in a way we can relate to.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's cool.

[Fortune Feimster]

I could. That's why I brought up little Women. I could.

[Tig Notaro]

Could.

[Fortune Feimster]

But they're all sisters, so. What a bummer. But I could relate to a house full of women reading books.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that's true.

[Fortune Feimster]

And one of them shuns the. The boy because she's not interested. I mean, I'm into that.

[Tig Notaro]

I always related to, like, the little boy characters in. In Charles Dickens, like, Great Expectations or Oliver Twists. Like I was. When I'd go see plays or something of those, I'd be like, put me in there, coach.

[Fortune Feimster]

Let me do that.

[Tig Notaro]

Oliver Twist.

[May Martin]

I love John Fogarty.

[Fortune Feimster]

I could see. No idea. I could see both of y' all playing one of these Victorian people in the tuxes in a movie.

[May Martin]

Why not you?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. What about you?

[May Martin]

I could see you want to be a Pretty little lady.

[Fortune Feimster]

I want to be the damsel in distress.

[May Martin]

Okay, so we'll do Pride and Prejudice. And Fortune is the daughter.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And I am the charming liar.

[Tig Notaro]

Mr. Darcy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Mr. Darcy.

[Tig Notaro]

Is that Pride and Prejudice or Mr. Wickham? Is.

[May Martin]

Is Wickham.

[Tig Notaro]

I think I know more about this.

[Fortune Feimster]

Where's Mr. Darcy? Which movie is that from? That's Pride, Sense and Sensibility.

[May Martin]

No, no, that's Pride and Pressure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Kate Winsleton, where she. Does she show boobs? She's in things and she shows boobs.

[May Martin]

What's the Victorian love story where they. Somebody shows her cooter? That's the one Fortune wants.

[Fortune Feimster]

Now we're talking. Now we're talking. Cooter.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I wanna. I. I'd like. Yeah, I think the three of us can be in Pride and Prejudice.

[Fortune Feimster]

It'd be kind of like that show Bridgerton, but which I also don't watch.

[May Martin]

Oh, good.

[Fortune Feimster]

But of just a bunch of lesbians. That could actually be pretty fun. Like a modern day Bridgerton. All gals.

[May Martin]

All lady.

[Tig Notaro]

Or.

[Fortune Feimster]

Or ladies. Ladies and ladies.

[Tig Notaro]

I do like the, the BBC ones. They always have like, amazing cast. Like just those, those British character actors are so good. It's like Imelda Staunton and these people being like, I cannot faint to deny.

[Fortune Feimster]

I cannot fain to deny. Are you saying you would like me to be in this movie with an accent?

[Tig Notaro]

You got it, dude. All gotta do accents. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

So I'm going Australian. I'm going razor blades. Jennifer Lopez. G' Day, N. I feel like we really nailed this. Let's.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Should we hear.

[Fortune Feimster]

I hope Haley has a much clearer picture of what this world looks like.

[Tig Notaro]

I almost said Kaley Cuoco.

[May Martin]

We should get a question from Kaylee.

[Tig Notaro]

Let's hear what Haley Kiyoko has to say.

[May Martin]

My answer would be, of course, Pride and Prejudice. Like, I saw Iris Darcy when I was watching it. And also Little Women. And that obviously inspired my new book Where There's Room for Us. So I'm pretty much obsessed. Love you all so much. Thanks for having me.

[Fortune Feimster]

So her book is in that vein.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I can't wait to read it. Also, yeah, you were on point with Little Women.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm telling you, strong gals, not interested in men. Hell yeah.

[May Martin]

That's me. Yeah, you just described me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I only remember it from the. I mean the. Well, there was the Timothee Chalamet version with. Rosie, but then I love the version. Why The Winona Ryder version from our youth.

[Tig Notaro]

That's the one. I'm. I'm Nostalgic partial.

[May Martin]

Yeah. That's our youth.

[Tig Notaro]

That's our shared use.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

So that one, even again, they're sisters. But why does it feel very gay to me?

[Tig Notaro]

It's because they're always like in bed together, reading, reading their books.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I love a cozy bed situation.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. We were talking about on the tour bus before bed doing reading hour where we all sit and read for an hour quietly. Hasn't happened yet. We've been busy watching Survivor. We're going to start watching the new season of the Comeback. They've never seen the first two seasons, the people I'm on the bus with. So we're gonna watch those now.

[May Martin]

I told you that my family does reading time.

[Tig Notaro]

I think that might be why I pitched it to them.

[May Martin]

Yeah, well, and I was gonna say, and part of the fun is for each person to share what they were reading. And then it creates a bunch of conversation and thoughts and feelings and such and.

[Tig Notaro]

But you're not reading out loud, right? You're independently reading.

[May Martin]

Yeah, we all are. Just in the same room lounging around, reading. But we only do it for 15 to 20 minutes. That's good though, because we, we just, we have little cubs, you know?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. But all the proof about, like how reading. Yeah. Regulates your nervous system and all this stuff, it's pretty good for you.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And all this stuff is coming out about how bad, like short form videos, like scrolling. How bad that is for your attention span.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[May Martin]

We did it again. We started this a few years ago and we're still doing it.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're still doing it.

[May Martin]

Yes. Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thomas wrote we made it to April. This is April. Another April.

[May Martin]

Is this our third April?

[Fortune Feimster]

How many April seconds?

[May Martin]

That is wild.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, is it our third?

[May Martin]

No, no, because we started in May.

[Fortune Feimster]

We started. No, we started in August.

[May Martin]

Okay. Or that.

[Fortune Feimster]

So this is our second April.

[Tig Notaro]

Thomas's third.

[May Martin]

Well, either way, will we make it to the next April?

[Fortune Feimster]

We've put out according 222 episodes. That's a lot.

[May Martin]

That is a lot of chatter.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're amazing.

[May Martin]

We are. Top notch.

[Tig Notaro]

What a podcast.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a podcast.

[May Martin]

Come on. Now I'm gonna tell you where you can find me, and that is Newtown, Connecticut. Portland, Maine. Brooks, California. San Luis Obispo, California. Albany, New York. Peaks Hill, New York. Clayton, New York. Rochester, New York. Spokane, Washington. Eugene, Oregon. Colorado Springs. And the list goes [e-mail] and always check back because sometimes dates get moved or canceled due to. Due to other work. Very much looking forward to seeing everyone

[Tig Notaro]

on this tour, I am still on tour. Please go to maymartin.net Phoenix, Arizona, where I've never been. April 16th and then San Diego and then Vegas. I'm doing two shows still tickets for both of them. And then we just added a late show April 21st in San Francisco, still tickets there. And Seattle, there's a late show. And Portland, Oregon. Then Vancouver and Calgary.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I'm finally getting out to San Antonio, Texas, April 17, two shows finally. I had to reschedule it a couple times. Sorry you guys, but it's happening. Dallas, Texas as well. Des Moines, Toronto, gonna be there in May. Reading, Pennsylvania, I just added that. And then our European handsome listeners, I would love for you guys to come to a show in May. I will be in late May. Berlin, Stockholm, Oslo, Copenhagen, London at the Hackney Empire and Dublin. So those are coming up. Then Rochester, Minnesota, Sierra Rapids, Iowa and Omaha and Portland, Maine and Detroit. So a lot of places you can go to. My website for taking solid Cities.

[May Martin]

But also May 4, Los Angeles at the Wiltern Handsome Live with the cast of the Hunting Wives. That is going to be off the hisy.

[Tig Notaro]

I can't wait to see you guys in person.

[May Martin]

That's going to be really nice. It's going to be so fun.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is the first big theater show we've done in Los Angeles. We, we usually do our our Fun Dynasty Typewriter holiday show. So this is a big fun theater. It will not be streamed. So if you can make it out to LA for the Netflix is a joke festival. There's a lot going on that week. So it would be a fun trip if anybody's looking for something to do.

[May Martin]

Absolutely. And please rate and review our podcast and also subscribe. And if you want to see more flexing of our Muscles, go to YouTube and subscribe there. And all of that stuff helps keep this podcast going every April. To each.

[Fortune Feimster]

Every April, each April that we get

[May Martin]

to it is because you rated, reviewed, subscribed and also share your favorite episode with your loved ones. Let's keep building this community. Yeah, y'. All. Oh wait, we also have merch. Get your party kisser merch and your pocket.

[Tig Notaro]

In my pocket.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

And until next time I say sorry.

[Tig Notaro]

Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] and please follow us on social media at. Handsome Podcast. That was a hit gum podcast.

[May Martin]

Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart not checking if you properly stored your half eaten bag of potato chips. Tragic. Nothing's worse than going for a snack and realizing you've let your chips go stale.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, IL hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that Was Us now on Headgum.

[May Martin]

Each episode we're going to go into a deep dive from our show.

[Fortune Feimster]

This Is Us. That's right.

[May Martin]

We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are we going to cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we going to laugh a lot? A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man.

[Tig Notaro]

Listen to that Was Us on your favorite podcast app.

[Fortune Feimster]

Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.